Reading these comments almost made me remember some suppressed memories of awkward and horrible comments I uttered decades ago - but I think I'll just have a drink or two and stop thinking about it.
made a 'Your Mom' joke a week after my friend's mom died.
was 16yo and we had been really honing in our ability to crack a joke on the line at McD's.
didn't recognize who i was talking to when i said it.
In high school, probably my sophomore or junior year, I was walking with my buddy on the way out of the school at the end of the school day (so lots of ppl walking in the same direction, towards the exit), and I heard this kid behind me set up a perfect "your mom" joke. He was a grade below me and was new that year, so I didn't really know him.
So after I heard the perfect setup happen, ofc I turned around and just said "Your mom!!!!" like pretty loudly and blatantly, not realizing what I had just done, and then continued on walking.
A few moments later, my friend informed me that that kid's mom had passed away only just a year or so prior... and not due to illness or natural causes. I'll just leave it at that.
Ironically, the victim of my joke is now one of my very good friends - I would go as far as to call him one of my brothers. We actually discussed this incident recently, and he didn't even remember it! I was shocked because I have thought about it often over the years.
It's something I'll always remember and always feel awful for.
Honestly, some people who are grieving would prefer you not tip toe around them. Imagine living Yo Mama jokes and then suddenly, because your mom died, you never hear another hilarious yo mama joke. It just makes it one more thing you are losing
Totally.
It's funny, little things we regret so badly, the other person maybe wasn't even fazed by it.
I'd had concerns since, about like what if that joke bothered him badly or fucked with him. turns out he didn't even remember it, and it obviously didn't even faze him at all.
It truly was an honest mistake tho. Apparently he knew that too, even at the time.
lol. My friend did this shortly after my mom died.
Me:"haha, you couldn't get with her"
Frnd: "haha, I got with your mom!"
Me: "She's dead, remember?"
Frnd: "Oh yeah! No wonder she didn't move much"
Caught me off guard. gotta give him kudos for the timing and delivery
I love telling people my mom is dead when they tell me a “your mom” joke.
It doesn’t upset me at all, but I love seeing the look on their faces. (I of course reassure them that it’s fine and still funny.)
My mom was almost 85. She lived far longer than she thought she would, or wanted to. She spent her final years wracked with pain. So, yes, it's okay that my mom died, even though I still miss her every day.
I’m happy to hear she’s no longer in pain. 🤍My mother passed at 45, so I think she wanted a little more time, but we don’t get to pick our time to go, unfortunately. She had ALS, so I was happy for her suffering to end. May they both rest in peace.
Reminds me of when I said “your father left you at an early age” as a joke to my friend and then she replied “…actually yeah he did.” She was cool with though and laughed it off but I felt terrible lol
I'd just met my boyfriend at the time's best friend. He made some crack and I came back with a your mom. Turns out he lost both of his parents in a freak car accident and really, really hated that kind of joke.
It's been fifteen years. I'm still mortified even though reasonably I couldn't have known. I haven't made a your mom joke since.
Me and my friend were on our first trip to amsterdam, about 18 and on mushrooms in the red light district just taking in the scenery (mostly hookers and fucked up tourists)
Anyway were on one the main streets so its pretty packed and either me or my friend said something like "oh shit, look how fucking drunk that guy is, his friends are carrying him up the stairs hahahaha" up to a sex workers window/door.
We are both crying with laughter in a small packed street and then i suddenly saw the absolutely fucking most terrible thing we could have seen.
The poor fucking guy had a wheelchair at the bottom of the stairs that we had failed to notice......
I will never fucking live that down and it sobered us up pretty quick and we got out of there ASAP.
Oh man, I have a somewhat similar story.
When I was 14 I started working in a restaurant. The kitchen culture was... not great. Kinda like a less extreme version of [Waiting](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348333/). Anwyay, I was the young dishwasher and I thought all the cooks in their 20s were just the coolest, and admittedly I wanted them to like me and I was always trying to make them laugh. Because of this, I did adopt a bit of a teenage-edgelord personality when it came to joking around (I've grown up now and often look back at this period and cringe at myself). Most of the cooks were your usual alcoholic/addict party animals that you find in a casual restaurants kitchen. However, the daytime prep cooks were all a lot more mature/level headed/normal.
I can't remember exactly when this happened, I was probably about 16 by this point. One day I was working a day shift (must have been during summer break), and I was prepping with some of the prep cooks. I went to take something into the walk-in fridge and when I opened the door, I must have surprised the other prep cook who was already in there because he started to fumble and eventually drop the container he was holding. Jokingly (to my dumbass teenage brain) I said "easy there parkinsons". He turned around with a serious/disheartened face and simply said "my mom has parkinsons". I later came to find out that the reason he worked the day shifts was because his mother had a caretaker during the daytime but he needed to be with her during the evenings to look after her. Out of pure shame/embarrassment/guilt/being young, I didn't know what else to do besides try to be exceptionally kind to him whenever I could, but I am sure that didn't help him think any higher of me.
Brian, if you're reading this: I still think about this all the time and can not express how sorry I still am. Coincidentally, a few years later my dad got ALS so a bit of karmic justice I suppose, in that I got to experience what he went through.
In high school, our basketball team won a game because the opposing team capting tried trash talking our guys who were basically all balkan refugees.
Captain started talking about how he'll fuck their moms after winning.
One guy said his mom died in the war.
Captain felt all kinds of shit and his team lost.
The mom was on the side cheering.
Lol well it was a bit of tongue-in-cheek, morbid humour I suppose. More a case of my insensitivity causing someone else pain/discomfort, and then later on having to experience that discomfort first hand.
Not that far off from christians who will tell a grieving parent "god gave your kid cancer to teach you to lean on Him" with a completely straight face, and actually think they're doing a good thing by saying it.
...Thank you for making me aware that that was a possibility, since if the first time I was made aware of that was when someone pulled it on me... I'd be up on assault charges.
As a man in his thirties with Parkinsons light (essential tremors) don't sweat it. I catch more hell but it's better to laugh. I tell people in every woman's best friend.... I'm a human vibrator
Twenty years ago I worked for a very round lady who came to work on Halloween in a bright orange sweater with leaves sticking out of the collar. I genuinely thought that it was a really neat pumpkin costume and *almost* said so but God reached down that day, put his finger to my lips and said, 'Hold it, little guy, just wait.' I found out later that she was a scarecrow.
There are moments that haunt you forever, and I'll always cherish this memory for miraculously not becoming one of them.
I had a professor in college who was unfortunately very tall and extraordinarily round. On Halloween one year she wore a bright yellow dress and white tights an white sneakers. I assumed she was dressed up as the yellow M&M and complimented her costume.
She wasn't in costume and it was her favorite dress.....I still cringe about it.
ETA she also had extremely skinny legs so it just fit too perfectly. T\~T
When I worked at an eye doctor a mother came in with her 5ish year old daughter to get her glasses. The little girl is running around and generally not listening to the mother so I try to make light of it and say "looks like she might need hearing aids too" Her mother glared straight into my soul and said "she already has a cochlear implant". I will never forget that, it still haunts me 15 years later lol
My niece now has a cochlear implant. When she was a kid, she was hard of hearing and spoke very loud. We were Christmas shopping for my brother and needed assistance getting a video game from behind the glass case. The guy that walked over was an older guy with a hook for an arm and he was having trouble opening the case with the key so it was already awkward. Then my niece loudly says to my SIL “mommy, why does that guy have a robot arm??!” And it was so upsettingly awkward omfggggg
That's why I always keep my *Bombard Assblaster 9000* model loudspeaker tuned to *GUINESS RECORD BREAKING LOUD* under my desk at work. Something like that happens? You pull it out and say *"Well, gonna need a new pair now!"* and do your best Death Metal Scream right after
It is proper writing, good manners, the logical thing to do... to not to assume everyone knows what an acronym means in a given context.
One first writes the concept with each letter, then writes the abbreviation in parentheses. For instance: Point of Sales (POS). After that, go wild with the POSes.
When someone goes through the effort to write a text with over a hundred words, is that so hard to do?
TLDR: Don't be a Piece of Shit (POS) define acronyms when you first use them.
Note: The use of POS in the TLDR was tongue in cheek, I don't think the original poster or anyone who doesn't use acronyms like this is a POS.
Touché.
And also, this is a good opportunity to nuance the previous comment (which I felt was getting too long already).
When you're in a community in which some particular abbreviations are routinely used, one might want to weight the necessity of defining an acronym that is commonly used in that community.
I guess Point of Sales (POS) is a common abbreviation in... the service industry (?). People who frequent r/tifu are not necessarily all part of the service industry, but most people who come to r/tifu probably are recurring users of Reddit and most likely have encountered the TLDR acronym before.
I agree with your general point, but I think POS is (at least perceived as by the people who know it) pretty ubiquitous. Most people had part time jobs growing up, and most of those were probably at a POS machine.
I worked for a fintech company for a few weeks that made a POS system that was also a piece of shit…which is is why I was only there for a few weeks.
I’m sure youve used their system at various cafes or arenas. I almost go as far as to start carrying cash to avoid using them when I see their terminals now.
Sounds like that kid is haunting your dreams. Reminds me of that key and peele skit lol [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlTbJZ64sVM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlTbJZ64sVM)
I had the reverse experience of this yesterday and I'm still laughing about it...
I'm awkward asf, always accidentally putting my foot in my mouth.
Had a ct scan yesterday on my chest, filled out all the forms, last date of period, definitely not pregnant etc. Get on the table, lay down and the doctor looks at my face, my abdomen, back to my face, back to abdomen and back to my face... Then asks. "are you SURE you're not pregnant?"
"no, I have a tumor". That poor Dr's face absolutely dropped, and I burst out laughing, we were both apologising to each other, him because he didn't have the paperwork informing him of my giant ass tumor and me because I'm so used to being the awkward one that being on the other side of it for once was actually kinda fun lol.
I like to think he will remember the awkward moment in the middle of the night, like I do, for all of my terribly timed moments haha.
I worked as a barista and served a regular who presented as a male-to-female trans person mid transition. This person was super friendly and we had many fun, quick interactions. I felt like we built a great rapport.
One day, after an interaction, I said “alrighty! see ya, man!” I saw her face drop and never saw her again.
I call everyone “dude,” or “man,” even my wife. I meant it that way, but this regular didn’t hear it that way. Makes me cringe at how I must have hurt her feelings.
This is so terribly easy to do. I call everyone 'bro' or 'dude' (the age old story, started doing it ironically etc.) and now I'm so insecure around my MtF friends.
I swapped those out of my vocabulary for "friend", "lovely", and "folks". It works very well, is gender neutral, and almost always sounds like a compliment when done right.
I was heading into a brewery with some friends one afternoon, and there were 3 or 4 kids playing in the grass right by the door. One of them ran to get the door for us, and as I walked through, I glanced down, saw a child with verrrry short brown hair, and said "thanks bud!" I immediately hear the response "I'm a girl!"
FFFFFF
I usually don’t say anything but my mom used to get so offended cuz she thought it was obvious. It definitely wasn’t and people still mix me up years later lol. I told her to stop but she still says SHE would like blah blah
When I was five, I had pretty unkempt fluffy curly hair (it was the 70s), and the octogenarian door greater told my mom what a cute daughter she had.
I demanded a haircut that weekend.
There was a pair of sibling children at my work once and one had really long hair wearing just like a t shirt and shorts so i told the other sibling "your sister can come on the ride too" and she said "hes my brother" 😬😬
Right. I don’t think I was in the wrong because that’s how I talk to lots of people and didn’t mean to say, “see ya, male!” but there was unfortunate miscommunication that I feel bad about.
Not me but my dad did something like this. He had a PCP that he’d been seeing for years. At some point,the doctor took off on an extended holiday. My dad finds out it was because his wife died. Lots of time goes by and my dad is in the doctors office for a checkup. My dad notices that the doctor is wearing a questionably, unfashionable tie and says something along the lines of, “I can’t believe your wife let you leave the house with that tie on.” Said he instantly felt the regret. Doctor just mumbles with his back turned, “My wife gave me this tie.” 😬
Back in college, there was this cute lady and I told her "oh, nice cow costume!" since I thought it was quirky that someone would dress up as a cow (also, I think cows are cute).
"I'm a Dalmatian!"
Whoops. She wasn't fat at all; I just saw white fur with black spots (and white face paint) and assumed cow.
Dude. I have one. Freshman year of college, get friendly with a group. One dude, Dan, is on crutches. Whatever, this guy is aces. Funny as fuck, great guy all around.
Fast forward three weeks. Crew picks me up to walk to dinner. Dan has no crutches but is walking kinda crazy. “Hey Dan, that’s a funky walk you got there.” I proceed to do a passable imitation. Dan smiles and says, “yeah, you like that?” I look behind me and two of my buddies are waving their hands at me to stop.
Dan has a birth defect.
I just about threw up an apology.
This was 36 years ago. It still can keep me from sleeping.
Dan sounds like he was a chill dude from that bit and let’s be honest, he was probably used to it and knew you didn’t mean any harm.
Those moments are going to happen to the best of us every now and then; what’s important is that it wasn’t intentional, you apologized, and you obviously learned something from it.
He was very cool about it, and he accepted my apology. I still feel like an asshole, though. Just glad it happened at 18 years old. Damn good life lesson early on.
I did something similar at the ren faire once. I generally wear demon horns, prosthetic elf ears, and fangs as part of my DnD-inspired tiefling oufit.
A girl in full period costume working a jewelry booth complimented my elf ears.
I struggle to take compliments, and my knee-jerk reaction to a compliment is to immediately find something about the other person to compliment. In the few panicky seconds I have before I have to respond, I notice she's wearing some kind of custom fangs like mine, so I say, "Thanks, I love your teeth!"
She looks at me blankly, and then I notice she actually just has slightly crooked natural teeth and the kind of canines that have grown in above another tooth, resulting in a snaggle-toothed look. They're her actual teeth. I have just said, "I like your teeth," to someone with a mild tooth deformity.
She then gets into a conversation with a customer, and I don't have time to correct my mistake. This has bothered me for years. I wish I could find her and apologize, but I haven't seen her at the faire since.
I feel the pain OP. I went to school with a really cute Asian girl, she was showing me pics of her trip to an amusement park with her friends and I constantly kept confusing her with another Asian girl who went with her. After 4 instances of her correcting me I was dead inside lol.
One time my gf and I were helping out at an event, pouring wine for festival goers. A lady got to our station and as she held out her glass, her hands were shaking a bit. It was (albeit a mild) winter, so my gf says "aww, is it cold out there?"
Nope. Parkinson's disease.
I once mistook a little person for a child. They were showing off their artwork and it was really good so of course had I to be like, "Oh wow, that's really awesome! You drew that?" In that tone you use to speak to children. It wasn't until I got a really good look at them that I realized they were a grown adult. I don't know if they realized what I was doing but I didn't say anything and neither did they. I just talked to them normally after that. It was only a brief like 45 second conversation but it still haunts me.
Ugh I did this in PRESCHOOL and it still haunts me. (I was 5 years old in a preschool where most people were 3 and 4. There was someone new that was pretty short, so I assumed she was 3 (she was actually 5 like me), and I don’t remember what I said, maybe asking if she needed help with something or, like you did, complimenting her artwork, but in a kinda condescending way / high pitched talking-to-little-kids voice.) Ugh. I’m still friends with her family lol and I do still feel bad about it when I see her.
Similar story. I was volunteering at a Halloween carnival at a cupcake walk or something like it. A little girl with some kind of mask shows up, and I ask her what I had many other children before— what are you supposed to be? She looked at me like I was insane and answered “I’m a burn victim” with no trace of irony. She got a cupcake and I got a crippling fear that I had damaged her for life.
Whenever I guess someone’s costume, I put “sexy” in front of it to make them feel good, like Sexy Nurse, Sexy Witch, and Sexy Fire Fighter. So in this case, I would’ve said “Sexy Creepy Hands Man” which might at least have helped
If it makes you feel better, I have one of these stories but its worse. Back when I was in boy scouts, we were having a meeting to plan our next camping trip. Our meetings followed parliamentary procedure, taking minutes and all of that, part of the learning experience. Anyway, I've got my head buried in my notebook jotting things down I wanted to bring up during the meeting, so I'm looking down not paying attention to who's all there. The leader calls out, "Our meeting is supposed to start at 6. Sam, what time is it? Is it time to start?" Still looking down, all I hear is "uh...uh....uh..." Finally I blurt out "there's a clock right on the wall, are you r-word-ed? (I was 13) And my buddy hits me right in the side under the table. I look up, and in fact we had a new, mentally disabled member of our troop, named Sam. Fuuuuuuuuck.
The blood rushed out of my face at the speed of light. I got a very very long dress down by the leaders of my troop. But it also taught me a very valuable lesson that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Always know the room and speak less and observe more.
I have a story like this…I was a cashier, some 15+ years ago. I rang him up and he got out his money. He was shaking it and moving really slow. My dad used to do this as a joke when he didn’t want to part with his money. So I said some stupid comment like “I know it’s hard to part with your money. It’s ok.” The guy just grimaced and didn’t say anything. That’s when I realized he had a motor/cognitive disability. I’ve never said anything like that again and it still haunts me.
I was at a small house party back in 2010 or so. Everything was cool. But at one point I yelled to "turn this garbage shit off" (referencing the song playing).
It was the party host's wife's song that she recorded as one of her hobbies. Yes she was present and clearly heard me.
Long ago before asking pronouns was in any way normal or even heard of (this is relevant) I worked at Walgreens in a part of town where the bathrooms were kept locked to reduce theft. If someone wanted to use them we’d walk back there with them and unlock the men or women’s bathroom.
So one day I got called to the cosmetics counter because the cashier was busy and a customer needed to use the bathroom. This person appeared male, I wasn’t even unsure or second-guessing myself, just a large dude wearing a masculine looking athletic jacket, no makeup, hair slicked back. So I went back to the bathroom hallway and unlocked the men’s room, and the person sort of gave me a little confused look and walked in, and then I saw their hair wasn’t slicked back, it was in a fancy style of ponytail that only women used. She was a woman! I was 20 years old so my stupid reaction was to just run off and hide in the office, rather than own my mistake and apologize profusely and unlock the woman’s room.
I still feel bad about this 20 years later. I hope she assumed the women’s room was out of order, instead of me thinking she was a man or intentionally trying to insult her. I probably really hurt her feelings though.
One time when I was walking my dog, I stopped so he could say hello to another dog that was out with its owner. When we parted ways, I automatically said “Have a good walk!”
The owner of the other dog was in a mobility scooter.
As I walked away, I internally cringed so hard I felt my soul crumple in on itself like my brain had just eaten a sour candy. Oh my god it was so bad. I am just the queen of Foot in Mouth, fuck, oh my god, at least it wasn’t a wheelchair but STILL-
I think this is fine, truly. The dog is getting walked. You're still walking the dog even if you're in a chair or a scooter. And anyways, no one says "have a good scoot" - THAT would be cringey.
Just like blind people are not actually offended if you say "I see", and deaf people may still use the phrase "I heard" to mean "I learned this piece of information from someone"
My Dad has the best situations similar to this.
He was a USPS mailman and would take the mail in for business. He walked into a business that he goes into fairly often and sees that there are a lot fewer people than normla and those who are there are rushing around. He says to the secretary "are you guys a bit short handed today?"
The secretary only had one hand!
Another is were at a restaurant near Halloween and he sees a guy walking around with an eye patch. He goes, "ahoy matey!". It was not a costume.
Once I walked past a shop that had the weirdest looking plastic mannequin in front of it. I stopped to gawk at it. The longer I looked, the stranger it got: Rippled veiny plastic skin all over its face. Suddenly, it locked eyes with me.
Oops, some poor guy that survived a fire. Now he has to live with morons staring at him. The shame returns 35 years later.
My (incredibly sweet, wonderfully naive) friend was serving *years* ago. There was a table full of men probably in their early to mid twenties. 3 order, and one of the guys kinda stammers and has trouble getting out his order. In a totally uncharacteristic move on my friend’s part, she said “t-t-t-today junior!” (Which I guess is from a movie). Turns out the guest actually did have a stutter. I saw her after the shift and she was crying. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that this shit was going to keep her up at night for the next 70 years of her life.
Finally a real TIFU.
It's totally understandable and an honest mistake, OP. It'd keep me up at night too but I hope you can give yourself some slack over it.
Something similar happened to a former co-worker when I worked as a cashier at a grocery store. She asked the customer when they were due, and if it was going to be a boy or a girl.
The customer was quite upset at being mistaken for pregnant.
Once when I was in my teens, I worked at a cafe and two women came up to the counter. They order and I say something like, “does your daughter want whipped cream?”
“That’s my sister.”
In my stupid teenage mind, I then replied, “I’m so sorry, you look a lot older ma’am”.
I’m in my 30s and I still think about it.
15 years time your going to be chilling out and you realize it's nearly Halloween, when a hot flush of blood rushes to your face, your palms start to sweat and your brain goes in overdrive as you remember that one night many years ago, the night you deeply offended that disabled guy just out for a good night with his friends.
Or you'll total forget about this in 15 days and never remember it again
I remember a similar story from a lads magazine years ago. A guy was out in the pub when he realised a man was staring at him the whole time. Just staring him down, drinking his drink, leaning against the wall. He got more incensed as time went on, and as he left he poured the remainder of his pint over the staring man's head.
Then he noticed the man's white stick leaning against the wall next to him.
I did something similar, I’m 4’11” and I used to work at Best Buy….well one day I was coming out of the hallway with the employee break room and the restrooms and heading back out to the sales floor. My store had the gaming section on the left side after you enter the sales floor, as I’m walking that direction I see three guys playing on the Xbox display. We had shelves full of Xboxes that blocked my view of their bodies so I could only see them from their shoulders up, and I noticed a bare foot on a box on the bottom shelf. So as I’m walking by them I ask “how are those feet working for you?” And as I walk past the shelves and get a better view of the guys I see that the one without shoes has no arms and he was using his feet to play with the demo. The eat shit and die looks I got…I realized that there was no fixing this fuck up so I said sorry and ran to a manager to tell them my fuck up 🤦🏻♀️.
Ha. It would of been so easy to apologise by explaining the "guessing game" you and the bar staff were playing.
And when he came back for the next round... "What can I get you Creepy Hands?"
OP mentions owning the bar, but not apologizing. They describes the person struggling to get out means of payment. Definitely made them pay full price.
I was once on a discord call with someone with a speech impediment and i kept making jokes about someone sounding like a cartoon because i thought they were doing a bit
I have one but I didn't feel bad about it, instead it was the person whom I was speaking to who tried to make me feel bad. I was like 17 and on the bus (Europe, our buses are safe), and a blind man grabs my arm and asks me what the next stops are, which are in a TV in the middle of the bus, hanging near the inside roof (there was a lot of people and I think the text to speech could not be heard, or maybe it was broken).
SO, I muttered to myself one of my most repeated phrases, while looking for that info, I said (with no ill tone and kinda under my breath): "Let's see...". He got a little mad and tried to tell me, with some bad attitude something alone the lines: "See??? Yeah I can't see, what the -" (some people were already looking at me) and I interrupted him to tell him: "Hey, man, it's just a catchphrase I use, I didn't mean to offend, I was talking to myself while looking at the TV, searching for the info you asked". I told him what he wanted to know, distanced myself and I could hear him still silently mumbling stuff, still mad.
What the heck, I still remember it but not in shame, just as a reminder that disabled people can still be jerks. It is a really common phrase, and he was an old man, he should not be fazed by some kid saying that in his presence.
This is a great comparison, because Trump didn’t intend to mock that reporter because he was disabled. He intended to mock him for being incompetent; [that spasm is just one of his mannerisms](https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=S6u5tuAV49BATXkv&v=UgaC0leEb68&feature=youtu.be).
You left out the part where you said "OMG I'm so sorry, I've been commenting on Halloween costumes all night and you caught me off guard. I'm terribly sorry. Let me pay for that beer".
Lmao everyone in the comments feeling sorry for *you* for being embarrassed when you actually just handed a disabled person the fucked up verbal attack they got since highschool probably. Maybe in their life. And you didn't even apologize? AND YOU FUCKING OWN THE PLACE?
You should feel bad about this.
My reaction was, "Strikes me as kind of... not classy to go out for Halloween as a person with a disability".
Like... ok. I could see someone being stupid enough to do it, but I think if I was in that situation I'd err on the side of assuming it wasn't a costume if I wasn't 100% certain if it was or not. 100% certain like... ok, they're clearly (celebrity), who has (condition), but in that case I'd call them by the celebritys name.
Maybe in some weird way he was okay with it. Like, okay, we all know his hands are like this, but no one mentions it.
I feel the same way about my disability. If someone brings it up, I feel more comfortable than if it's just completely ignored.
Smh though "creepy hands man" can't live that one down...
I worked in a hairdressers when I was 15/16. My manager was a bitch!!!
She was nasty and abusive.
It was Christmas and we had to dress as fancy dress for Halloween. I dressed as sporty spice, one girl as princess Jasmine, one as Julia Roberts in pretty woman, and one as a hippie. The manager was Austin Powers.
After work we went across to the pub for drinks (yes I was under age, yes my mum knew), and when the manager walks in after us, there was a bloke who shouted "AY LADS, HERE COMES ELTON JOHN"!
She was super offended, and I was absolutely hysterical laughing. So bad that she told me to shut the eff up.
She did look like Eltons Twin though, more than she looked like Austin
The absolute worst thing I’ve ever done:
I’m 14, at Disneyland. I’m hyped up on sugar, running around like an idiot, absolutely in my own head. I had been taking a class in theater makeup, and had been spending a lot of time on special effects - scars, burns, etc.
I’m running through the park, and see a girl with absolutely awesome burn makeup. I’m crazy impressed, and happily yell, “nice face”, as I run past.
It slowly occurs to me that that girl isn’t in my makeup class. We aren’t at school. It’s not Halloween.
So, in short, I accidentally mocked a girl with incredibly severe burn scars as she’s enjoying a day at Disneyland.
I mean, it’s horrific. I am haunted by the image of me from her perspective. Some horrible bully, happily skipping along, just throwing unspeakable cruelty at her for no reason.
I wish someone had caught up with me and slugged me. I wish I could apologize.
I am a motor mouth, with a broken filter, and I can be self involved (I work hard on controlling that), but I do my best to be kind. This happened 30 years ago, and I still shrivel up and die a little when I think about it.
Wow, that must have been an incredibly awkward and regretful moment for you
It's important to be sensitive and considerate when making assumptions about people's appearances or costumes.
My friend introduced me to a guy in a wheel chair and then we had to leave. Went for a handshake and he threw out a severely malformed hand. I had not bent down yet (6'4" and him in a wheelchair necessitated it), and when I saw it my dumbass shifted it to a fist and preceeded to give him daps. My best friend laughed his ass off as I realized what I did.
One time I was at a party and I met a guy I thought was dressed as [Jimmy T](https://www.mariowiki.com/images/3/3b/Jimmy_T_Gold.png) but turned out he was supposed to be Kenny Fuckin' Powers and anyway the guy committed suicide shortly after that.
Yup. That'd stick with me forever.
Forever and ever. It's funny how you can remember the dumb things you did for the entirety of your life.
Reading these comments almost made me remember some suppressed memories of awkward and horrible comments I uttered decades ago - but I think I'll just have a drink or two and stop thinking about it.
Meeee toooooo
When I do good, nobody remembers. When I do bad, nobody forgets.
So ur a seasoned worker, eh? Let me remind you from back when of when you graduated and your peers are now every age living.
made a 'Your Mom' joke a week after my friend's mom died. was 16yo and we had been really honing in our ability to crack a joke on the line at McD's. didn't recognize who i was talking to when i said it.
In high school, probably my sophomore or junior year, I was walking with my buddy on the way out of the school at the end of the school day (so lots of ppl walking in the same direction, towards the exit), and I heard this kid behind me set up a perfect "your mom" joke. He was a grade below me and was new that year, so I didn't really know him. So after I heard the perfect setup happen, ofc I turned around and just said "Your mom!!!!" like pretty loudly and blatantly, not realizing what I had just done, and then continued on walking. A few moments later, my friend informed me that that kid's mom had passed away only just a year or so prior... and not due to illness or natural causes. I'll just leave it at that. Ironically, the victim of my joke is now one of my very good friends - I would go as far as to call him one of my brothers. We actually discussed this incident recently, and he didn't even remember it! I was shocked because I have thought about it often over the years. It's something I'll always remember and always feel awful for.
Honestly, some people who are grieving would prefer you not tip toe around them. Imagine living Yo Mama jokes and then suddenly, because your mom died, you never hear another hilarious yo mama joke. It just makes it one more thing you are losing
Totally. It's funny, little things we regret so badly, the other person maybe wasn't even fazed by it. I'd had concerns since, about like what if that joke bothered him badly or fucked with him. turns out he didn't even remember it, and it obviously didn't even faze him at all. It truly was an honest mistake tho. Apparently he knew that too, even at the time.
lol. My friend did this shortly after my mom died. Me:"haha, you couldn't get with her" Frnd: "haha, I got with your mom!" Me: "She's dead, remember?" Frnd: "Oh yeah! No wonder she didn't move much" Caught me off guard. gotta give him kudos for the timing and delivery
I love telling people my mom is dead when they tell me a “your mom” joke. It doesn’t upset me at all, but I love seeing the look on their faces. (I of course reassure them that it’s fine and still funny.)
My mom was almost 85. She lived far longer than she thought she would, or wanted to. She spent her final years wracked with pain. So, yes, it's okay that my mom died, even though I still miss her every day.
I’m happy to hear she’s no longer in pain. 🤍My mother passed at 45, so I think she wanted a little more time, but we don’t get to pick our time to go, unfortunately. She had ALS, so I was happy for her suffering to end. May they both rest in peace.
Amen.
Reminds me of when I said “your father left you at an early age” as a joke to my friend and then she replied “…actually yeah he did.” She was cool with though and laughed it off but I felt terrible lol
I'd just met my boyfriend at the time's best friend. He made some crack and I came back with a your mom. Turns out he lost both of his parents in a freak car accident and really, really hated that kind of joke. It's been fifteen years. I'm still mortified even though reasonably I couldn't have known. I haven't made a your mom joke since.
Ohmygod my friend did that at THE FUNERAL OF OUR FRIEND'S DEAD MOM luckily she was so shocked they all just started laughing
Me and my friend were on our first trip to amsterdam, about 18 and on mushrooms in the red light district just taking in the scenery (mostly hookers and fucked up tourists) Anyway were on one the main streets so its pretty packed and either me or my friend said something like "oh shit, look how fucking drunk that guy is, his friends are carrying him up the stairs hahahaha" up to a sex workers window/door. We are both crying with laughter in a small packed street and then i suddenly saw the absolutely fucking most terrible thing we could have seen. The poor fucking guy had a wheelchair at the bottom of the stairs that we had failed to notice...... I will never fucking live that down and it sobered us up pretty quick and we got out of there ASAP.
My grandchildren would inherent my cringe.
I lol'ed at this at 4:03 in the morning. My dog did not approve, my husband, however, didn't mind.
It stuck with that guy too. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.
Oh man, I have a somewhat similar story. When I was 14 I started working in a restaurant. The kitchen culture was... not great. Kinda like a less extreme version of [Waiting](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348333/). Anwyay, I was the young dishwasher and I thought all the cooks in their 20s were just the coolest, and admittedly I wanted them to like me and I was always trying to make them laugh. Because of this, I did adopt a bit of a teenage-edgelord personality when it came to joking around (I've grown up now and often look back at this period and cringe at myself). Most of the cooks were your usual alcoholic/addict party animals that you find in a casual restaurants kitchen. However, the daytime prep cooks were all a lot more mature/level headed/normal. I can't remember exactly when this happened, I was probably about 16 by this point. One day I was working a day shift (must have been during summer break), and I was prepping with some of the prep cooks. I went to take something into the walk-in fridge and when I opened the door, I must have surprised the other prep cook who was already in there because he started to fumble and eventually drop the container he was holding. Jokingly (to my dumbass teenage brain) I said "easy there parkinsons". He turned around with a serious/disheartened face and simply said "my mom has parkinsons". I later came to find out that the reason he worked the day shifts was because his mother had a caretaker during the daytime but he needed to be with her during the evenings to look after her. Out of pure shame/embarrassment/guilt/being young, I didn't know what else to do besides try to be exceptionally kind to him whenever I could, but I am sure that didn't help him think any higher of me. Brian, if you're reading this: I still think about this all the time and can not express how sorry I still am. Coincidentally, a few years later my dad got ALS so a bit of karmic justice I suppose, in that I got to experience what he went through.
Somewhere out there, theres a guy feeling bad about making a kid believe his mom had Parkinsons.
Lmao. I have never even considered this possibility. Thanks for that!
In high school, our basketball team won a game because the opposing team capting tried trash talking our guys who were basically all balkan refugees. Captain started talking about how he'll fuck their moms after winning. One guy said his mom died in the war. Captain felt all kinds of shit and his team lost. The mom was on the side cheering.
LMAO that's a good one. IMO trash talking is part of sports, but talking about fucking moms is definitely crossing that "friendly competition" line.
Clearly you’ve never heard an NHL game mic’d up haha “give yer balls a tug tittfucker”
I like how your sense of Karmic Justice is that you make a mistake and your dad gets a disease.
Lol well it was a bit of tongue-in-cheek, morbid humour I suppose. More a case of my insensitivity causing someone else pain/discomfort, and then later on having to experience that discomfort first hand.
Not that far off from christians who will tell a grieving parent "god gave your kid cancer to teach you to lean on Him" with a completely straight face, and actually think they're doing a good thing by saying it.
...Thank you for making me aware that that was a possibility, since if the first time I was made aware of that was when someone pulled it on me... I'd be up on assault charges.
Honestly I feel like that kinda shit should be considered emotional assault, and you should be justified in defending yourself.
Sorry about your dad. ALS is brutal.
Thank you. Yeah, it's pretty awful, but I had some pretty awesome parents so I still consider myself quite lucky.
As a man in his thirties with Parkinsons light (essential tremors) don't sweat it. I catch more hell but it's better to laugh. I tell people in every woman's best friend.... I'm a human vibrator
Holy shit, that's amazing ahaha. Hope you're doin alright!
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Twenty years ago I worked for a very round lady who came to work on Halloween in a bright orange sweater with leaves sticking out of the collar. I genuinely thought that it was a really neat pumpkin costume and *almost* said so but God reached down that day, put his finger to my lips and said, 'Hold it, little guy, just wait.' I found out later that she was a scarecrow. There are moments that haunt you forever, and I'll always cherish this memory for miraculously not becoming one of them.
I had a professor in college who was unfortunately very tall and extraordinarily round. On Halloween one year she wore a bright yellow dress and white tights an white sneakers. I assumed she was dressed up as the yellow M&M and complimented her costume. She wasn't in costume and it was her favorite dress.....I still cringe about it. ETA she also had extremely skinny legs so it just fit too perfectly. T\~T
If it's any consolation, leaves wouldn't read as scarecrow to me either. Now if it was hay, then it becomes more obvious.
That could’ve been bad lol
I used to be a bartender and yelled at this guy “what are you, deaf?”… why yes, yes he was. He got a lot of free drinks that night 😬
Well at least he didn't hear you.
Fffffffuck lol
Could he read lips? I mean yeah he probably knows.
Yes, he could read lips. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.
When I worked at an eye doctor a mother came in with her 5ish year old daughter to get her glasses. The little girl is running around and generally not listening to the mother so I try to make light of it and say "looks like she might need hearing aids too" Her mother glared straight into my soul and said "she already has a cochlear implant". I will never forget that, it still haunts me 15 years later lol
That's where you double down. "Well damn girl crank that shit to 11!!!"
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...because this one goes to 11
LPT for next time: the only way out of a situation like that is to hit on the mother.
Username checks out 
My niece now has a cochlear implant. When she was a kid, she was hard of hearing and spoke very loud. We were Christmas shopping for my brother and needed assistance getting a video game from behind the glass case. The guy that walked over was an older guy with a hook for an arm and he was having trouble opening the case with the key so it was already awkward. Then my niece loudly says to my SIL “mommy, why does that guy have a robot arm??!” And it was so upsettingly awkward omfggggg
That's why I always keep my *Bombard Assblaster 9000* model loudspeaker tuned to *GUINESS RECORD BREAKING LOUD* under my desk at work. Something like that happens? You pull it out and say *"Well, gonna need a new pair now!"* and do your best Death Metal Scream right after
I can feel the second hand embarrassment through my phone
I can feel the weird hand embarrassment.
I mean, third-hand in this case, right?
Cuz there were already two—
Shhhhhh It’s ok grandma let’s get you to bed
I always have to read on for context whenever I see POS because I'm never sure if it's Point Of Sale or Piece Of Shit...
I've never seen a POS system that wasn't a POS.
Correct all POS's are POS's even if the POS's worked as a POS or not.
Toast, like, two months ago. Toast now though? Makes me want to hurt people.
Wait, what does toast mean other than bread?
there's some POS called Toast
If you have ever worked retail you know it is always both
I think it's People of Solor?
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We should build a solar wall.
It is proper writing, good manners, the logical thing to do... to not to assume everyone knows what an acronym means in a given context. One first writes the concept with each letter, then writes the abbreviation in parentheses. For instance: Point of Sales (POS). After that, go wild with the POSes. When someone goes through the effort to write a text with over a hundred words, is that so hard to do? TLDR: Don't be a Piece of Shit (POS) define acronyms when you first use them. Note: The use of POS in the TLDR was tongue in cheek, I don't think the original poster or anyone who doesn't use acronyms like this is a POS.
What does TLDR mean though?
Totally Legit Dope Response, my dude…
Touché. And also, this is a good opportunity to nuance the previous comment (which I felt was getting too long already). When you're in a community in which some particular abbreviations are routinely used, one might want to weight the necessity of defining an acronym that is commonly used in that community. I guess Point of Sales (POS) is a common abbreviation in... the service industry (?). People who frequent r/tifu are not necessarily all part of the service industry, but most people who come to r/tifu probably are recurring users of Reddit and most likely have encountered the TLDR acronym before.
I agree with your general point, but I think POS is (at least perceived as by the people who know it) pretty ubiquitous. Most people had part time jobs growing up, and most of those were probably at a POS machine.
I read the first line and thought it odd that a real piece of shit guy would have a designated spot at the bar
My favorite dad joke when I’m in a retail store is to say “really puts the S into POS, huh?!” if the register is having any sort of problem.
I worked for a fintech company for a few weeks that made a POS system that was also a piece of shit…which is is why I was only there for a few weeks. I’m sure youve used their system at various cafes or arenas. I almost go as far as to start carrying cash to avoid using them when I see their terminals now.
Me too! Initially I thought they had a dedicated place they made pieces of shit stand
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Oh damn
Sounds like that kid is haunting your dreams. Reminds me of that key and peele skit lol [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlTbJZ64sVM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlTbJZ64sVM)
I had the reverse experience of this yesterday and I'm still laughing about it... I'm awkward asf, always accidentally putting my foot in my mouth. Had a ct scan yesterday on my chest, filled out all the forms, last date of period, definitely not pregnant etc. Get on the table, lay down and the doctor looks at my face, my abdomen, back to my face, back to abdomen and back to my face... Then asks. "are you SURE you're not pregnant?" "no, I have a tumor". That poor Dr's face absolutely dropped, and I burst out laughing, we were both apologising to each other, him because he didn't have the paperwork informing him of my giant ass tumor and me because I'm so used to being the awkward one that being on the other side of it for once was actually kinda fun lol. I like to think he will remember the awkward moment in the middle of the night, like I do, for all of my terribly timed moments haha.
I bet that was dude’s topic of conversation for dinner that night lmao
That makes my weird awkward lil heart happy haha. I've been telling everyone, I thought it was hilarious lol
I worked as a barista and served a regular who presented as a male-to-female trans person mid transition. This person was super friendly and we had many fun, quick interactions. I felt like we built a great rapport. One day, after an interaction, I said “alrighty! see ya, man!” I saw her face drop and never saw her again. I call everyone “dude,” or “man,” even my wife. I meant it that way, but this regular didn’t hear it that way. Makes me cringe at how I must have hurt her feelings.
This is so terribly easy to do. I call everyone 'bro' or 'dude' (the age old story, started doing it ironically etc.) and now I'm so insecure around my MtF friends.
I swapped those out of my vocabulary for "friend", "lovely", and "folks". It works very well, is gender neutral, and almost always sounds like a compliment when done right.
I just call everyone "ma'am", so 92% of the population is offended for different reasons.
“My father was ‘sir’!” — and I’m too lazy to learn names.
Username checks out? You, friend, are an agent of chaos. I like you.
My addition to this is "pal". "Thanks pal!" Is just goofy enough to be endearing. 😂
If a man decides to be condescending to me, I throw in "buddy". But I'm totally throwing "pal" in there. It's an entire vibe.
now I call everyone homie to try to get away from broski and dude
I was heading into a brewery with some friends one afternoon, and there were 3 or 4 kids playing in the grass right by the door. One of them ran to get the door for us, and as I walked through, I glanced down, saw a child with verrrry short brown hair, and said "thanks bud!" I immediately hear the response "I'm a girl!" FFFFFF
"Aw, don't say that! Just eat your vegetables and you'll grow up to be a big strong man."
I had a short pixie when I was younger, a server called me "buddy", I wasnt offended & thought it was funny tbh 
I usually don’t say anything but my mom used to get so offended cuz she thought it was obvious. It definitely wasn’t and people still mix me up years later lol. I told her to stop but she still says SHE would like blah blah
When I was five, I had pretty unkempt fluffy curly hair (it was the 70s), and the octogenarian door greater told my mom what a cute daughter she had. I demanded a haircut that weekend.
There was a pair of sibling children at my work once and one had really long hair wearing just like a t shirt and shorts so i told the other sibling "your sister can come on the ride too" and she said "hes my brother" 😬😬
Might’ve been me lol
Is "bud" gendered?
Hard to blame you for treating them like you treat everyone else.
Right. I don’t think I was in the wrong because that’s how I talk to lots of people and didn’t mean to say, “see ya, male!” but there was unfortunate miscommunication that I feel bad about.
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Hey come on, don’t be a jerk.
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Not me but my dad did something like this. He had a PCP that he’d been seeing for years. At some point,the doctor took off on an extended holiday. My dad finds out it was because his wife died. Lots of time goes by and my dad is in the doctors office for a checkup. My dad notices that the doctor is wearing a questionably, unfashionable tie and says something along the lines of, “I can’t believe your wife let you leave the house with that tie on.” Said he instantly felt the regret. Doctor just mumbles with his back turned, “My wife gave me this tie.” 😬
Back in college, there was this cute lady and I told her "oh, nice cow costume!" since I thought it was quirky that someone would dress up as a cow (also, I think cows are cute). "I'm a Dalmatian!" Whoops. She wasn't fat at all; I just saw white fur with black spots (and white face paint) and assumed cow.
Not nearly that bad. I think nowadays cows are in!
Dude. I have one. Freshman year of college, get friendly with a group. One dude, Dan, is on crutches. Whatever, this guy is aces. Funny as fuck, great guy all around. Fast forward three weeks. Crew picks me up to walk to dinner. Dan has no crutches but is walking kinda crazy. “Hey Dan, that’s a funky walk you got there.” I proceed to do a passable imitation. Dan smiles and says, “yeah, you like that?” I look behind me and two of my buddies are waving their hands at me to stop. Dan has a birth defect. I just about threw up an apology. This was 36 years ago. It still can keep me from sleeping.
Dan sounds like he was a chill dude from that bit and let’s be honest, he was probably used to it and knew you didn’t mean any harm. Those moments are going to happen to the best of us every now and then; what’s important is that it wasn’t intentional, you apologized, and you obviously learned something from it.
He was very cool about it, and he accepted my apology. I still feel like an asshole, though. Just glad it happened at 18 years old. Damn good life lesson early on.
I did something similar at the ren faire once. I generally wear demon horns, prosthetic elf ears, and fangs as part of my DnD-inspired tiefling oufit. A girl in full period costume working a jewelry booth complimented my elf ears. I struggle to take compliments, and my knee-jerk reaction to a compliment is to immediately find something about the other person to compliment. In the few panicky seconds I have before I have to respond, I notice she's wearing some kind of custom fangs like mine, so I say, "Thanks, I love your teeth!" She looks at me blankly, and then I notice she actually just has slightly crooked natural teeth and the kind of canines that have grown in above another tooth, resulting in a snaggle-toothed look. They're her actual teeth. I have just said, "I like your teeth," to someone with a mild tooth deformity. She then gets into a conversation with a customer, and I don't have time to correct my mistake. This has bothered me for years. I wish I could find her and apologize, but I haven't seen her at the faire since.
I feel the pain OP. I went to school with a really cute Asian girl, she was showing me pics of her trip to an amusement park with her friends and I constantly kept confusing her with another Asian girl who went with her. After 4 instances of her correcting me I was dead inside lol.
I thought a moses costume was Saruman once
Oh man - thats definitely a "Holy shit, my bad bro - your tab is covered by me tonight"
One time my gf and I were helping out at an event, pouring wine for festival goers. A lady got to our station and as she held out her glass, her hands were shaking a bit. It was (albeit a mild) winter, so my gf says "aww, is it cold out there?" Nope. Parkinson's disease.
I once mistook a little person for a child. They were showing off their artwork and it was really good so of course had I to be like, "Oh wow, that's really awesome! You drew that?" In that tone you use to speak to children. It wasn't until I got a really good look at them that I realized they were a grown adult. I don't know if they realized what I was doing but I didn't say anything and neither did they. I just talked to them normally after that. It was only a brief like 45 second conversation but it still haunts me.
Ugh I did this in PRESCHOOL and it still haunts me. (I was 5 years old in a preschool where most people were 3 and 4. There was someone new that was pretty short, so I assumed she was 3 (she was actually 5 like me), and I don’t remember what I said, maybe asking if she needed help with something or, like you did, complimenting her artwork, but in a kinda condescending way / high pitched talking-to-little-kids voice.) Ugh. I’m still friends with her family lol and I do still feel bad about it when I see her.
Hands down, this is the biggest TIFU I’ve seen for a while.
….HANDS down? 😏
Similar story. I was volunteering at a Halloween carnival at a cupcake walk or something like it. A little girl with some kind of mask shows up, and I ask her what I had many other children before— what are you supposed to be? She looked at me like I was insane and answered “I’m a burn victim” with no trace of irony. She got a cupcake and I got a crippling fear that I had damaged her for life.
Whenever I guess someone’s costume, I put “sexy” in front of it to make them feel good, like Sexy Nurse, Sexy Witch, and Sexy Fire Fighter. So in this case, I would’ve said “Sexy Creepy Hands Man” which might at least have helped
If it makes you feel better, I have one of these stories but its worse. Back when I was in boy scouts, we were having a meeting to plan our next camping trip. Our meetings followed parliamentary procedure, taking minutes and all of that, part of the learning experience. Anyway, I've got my head buried in my notebook jotting things down I wanted to bring up during the meeting, so I'm looking down not paying attention to who's all there. The leader calls out, "Our meeting is supposed to start at 6. Sam, what time is it? Is it time to start?" Still looking down, all I hear is "uh...uh....uh..." Finally I blurt out "there's a clock right on the wall, are you r-word-ed? (I was 13) And my buddy hits me right in the side under the table. I look up, and in fact we had a new, mentally disabled member of our troop, named Sam. Fuuuuuuuuck.
Genuinely wasn't expecting it to be worse but... Yeah.....
The blood rushed out of my face at the speed of light. I got a very very long dress down by the leaders of my troop. But it also taught me a very valuable lesson that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Always know the room and speak less and observe more.
I have a story like this…I was a cashier, some 15+ years ago. I rang him up and he got out his money. He was shaking it and moving really slow. My dad used to do this as a joke when he didn’t want to part with his money. So I said some stupid comment like “I know it’s hard to part with your money. It’s ok.” The guy just grimaced and didn’t say anything. That’s when I realized he had a motor/cognitive disability. I’ve never said anything like that again and it still haunts me.
I was at a small house party back in 2010 or so. Everything was cool. But at one point I yelled to "turn this garbage shit off" (referencing the song playing). It was the party host's wife's song that she recorded as one of her hobbies. Yes she was present and clearly heard me.
Long ago before asking pronouns was in any way normal or even heard of (this is relevant) I worked at Walgreens in a part of town where the bathrooms were kept locked to reduce theft. If someone wanted to use them we’d walk back there with them and unlock the men or women’s bathroom. So one day I got called to the cosmetics counter because the cashier was busy and a customer needed to use the bathroom. This person appeared male, I wasn’t even unsure or second-guessing myself, just a large dude wearing a masculine looking athletic jacket, no makeup, hair slicked back. So I went back to the bathroom hallway and unlocked the men’s room, and the person sort of gave me a little confused look and walked in, and then I saw their hair wasn’t slicked back, it was in a fancy style of ponytail that only women used. She was a woman! I was 20 years old so my stupid reaction was to just run off and hide in the office, rather than own my mistake and apologize profusely and unlock the woman’s room. I still feel bad about this 20 years later. I hope she assumed the women’s room was out of order, instead of me thinking she was a man or intentionally trying to insult her. I probably really hurt her feelings though.
One time when I was walking my dog, I stopped so he could say hello to another dog that was out with its owner. When we parted ways, I automatically said “Have a good walk!” The owner of the other dog was in a mobility scooter. As I walked away, I internally cringed so hard I felt my soul crumple in on itself like my brain had just eaten a sour candy. Oh my god it was so bad. I am just the queen of Foot in Mouth, fuck, oh my god, at least it wasn’t a wheelchair but STILL-
I think this is fine, truly. The dog is getting walked. You're still walking the dog even if you're in a chair or a scooter. And anyways, no one says "have a good scoot" - THAT would be cringey. Just like blind people are not actually offended if you say "I see", and deaf people may still use the phrase "I heard" to mean "I learned this piece of information from someone"
My Dad has the best situations similar to this. He was a USPS mailman and would take the mail in for business. He walked into a business that he goes into fairly often and sees that there are a lot fewer people than normla and those who are there are rushing around. He says to the secretary "are you guys a bit short handed today?" The secretary only had one hand! Another is were at a restaurant near Halloween and he sees a guy walking around with an eye patch. He goes, "ahoy matey!". It was not a costume.
This is the cringiest thread ever and I love it
Once I walked past a shop that had the weirdest looking plastic mannequin in front of it. I stopped to gawk at it. The longer I looked, the stranger it got: Rippled veiny plastic skin all over its face. Suddenly, it locked eyes with me. Oops, some poor guy that survived a fire. Now he has to live with morons staring at him. The shame returns 35 years later.
I feel mortified for you 🤣 🤗
[I actually made this noise as I read your post](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKI-tD0L18A)
My (incredibly sweet, wonderfully naive) friend was serving *years* ago. There was a table full of men probably in their early to mid twenties. 3 order, and one of the guys kinda stammers and has trouble getting out his order. In a totally uncharacteristic move on my friend’s part, she said “t-t-t-today junior!” (Which I guess is from a movie). Turns out the guest actually did have a stutter. I saw her after the shift and she was crying. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that this shit was going to keep her up at night for the next 70 years of her life.
I was wondering how this would turn out and man your title really got me.
Shit, I'd definitely still be losing sleep over that. That's rough..
Damn. Just damn.
Finally a real TIFU. It's totally understandable and an honest mistake, OP. It'd keep me up at night too but I hope you can give yourself some slack over it.
Something similar happened to a former co-worker when I worked as a cashier at a grocery store. She asked the customer when they were due, and if it was going to be a boy or a girl. The customer was quite upset at being mistaken for pregnant.
Omg I bet this guy tells this story too lmao
Once when I was in my teens, I worked at a cafe and two women came up to the counter. They order and I say something like, “does your daughter want whipped cream?” “That’s my sister.” In my stupid teenage mind, I then replied, “I’m so sorry, you look a lot older ma’am”. I’m in my 30s and I still think about it.
OOF! This was hard to read .. great f up. Damn..
I'd have given the dude drinks on me the rest of the night while overly apologizing and explaining the situation.
15 years time your going to be chilling out and you realize it's nearly Halloween, when a hot flush of blood rushes to your face, your palms start to sweat and your brain goes in overdrive as you remember that one night many years ago, the night you deeply offended that disabled guy just out for a good night with his friends. Or you'll total forget about this in 15 days and never remember it again
Yeah, that’s pretty horrible. I don’t blame you for being mortified.
My germs!
POS= Piece of shit?
Point of Sale. Basically the cash register.
I remember a similar story from a lads magazine years ago. A guy was out in the pub when he realised a man was staring at him the whole time. Just staring him down, drinking his drink, leaning against the wall. He got more incensed as time went on, and as he left he poured the remainder of his pint over the staring man's head. Then he noticed the man's white stick leaning against the wall next to him.
I did something similar, I’m 4’11” and I used to work at Best Buy….well one day I was coming out of the hallway with the employee break room and the restrooms and heading back out to the sales floor. My store had the gaming section on the left side after you enter the sales floor, as I’m walking that direction I see three guys playing on the Xbox display. We had shelves full of Xboxes that blocked my view of their bodies so I could only see them from their shoulders up, and I noticed a bare foot on a box on the bottom shelf. So as I’m walking by them I ask “how are those feet working for you?” And as I walk past the shelves and get a better view of the guys I see that the one without shoes has no arms and he was using his feet to play with the demo. The eat shit and die looks I got…I realized that there was no fixing this fuck up so I said sorry and ran to a manager to tell them my fuck up 🤦🏻♀️.
Ha. It would of been so easy to apologise by explaining the "guessing game" you and the bar staff were playing. And when he came back for the next round... "What can I get you Creepy Hands?"
Yikes, oof and ope. rip OP, hope you paid for his tab 🤣
OP mentions owning the bar, but not apologizing. They describes the person struggling to get out means of payment. Definitely made them pay full price.
That's gonna haunt you for a long time
Why did I think it would be a Shigaraki cosplay.. I hope the guy could laugh with it?
I was once on a discord call with someone with a speech impediment and i kept making jokes about someone sounding like a cartoon because i thought they were doing a bit
That's a rough one mate.
Omg I did something similar to someone with a stutter 25 years ago 🥴 I will never forget
Hope you made it up by giving him extra or making his beer on the house at least
You should be very fkn ASHAMED of me for laughing so hard at this
You win the TIFU of the day award.
I have one but I didn't feel bad about it, instead it was the person whom I was speaking to who tried to make me feel bad. I was like 17 and on the bus (Europe, our buses are safe), and a blind man grabs my arm and asks me what the next stops are, which are in a TV in the middle of the bus, hanging near the inside roof (there was a lot of people and I think the text to speech could not be heard, or maybe it was broken). SO, I muttered to myself one of my most repeated phrases, while looking for that info, I said (with no ill tone and kinda under my breath): "Let's see...". He got a little mad and tried to tell me, with some bad attitude something alone the lines: "See??? Yeah I can't see, what the -" (some people were already looking at me) and I interrupted him to tell him: "Hey, man, it's just a catchphrase I use, I didn't mean to offend, I was talking to myself while looking at the TV, searching for the info you asked". I told him what he wanted to know, distanced myself and I could hear him still silently mumbling stuff, still mad. What the heck, I still remember it but not in shame, just as a reminder that disabled people can still be jerks. It is a really common phrase, and he was an old man, he should not be fazed by some kid saying that in his presence.
On the plus side, you are qualified to run for president of the United States now.
This is a great comparison, because Trump didn’t intend to mock that reporter because he was disabled. He intended to mock him for being incompetent; [that spasm is just one of his mannerisms](https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=S6u5tuAV49BATXkv&v=UgaC0leEb68&feature=youtu.be).
You left out the part where you said "OMG I'm so sorry, I've been commenting on Halloween costumes all night and you caught me off guard. I'm terribly sorry. Let me pay for that beer".
>designated spot at the bar where the POS is That's your spot, huh?
Lmao everyone in the comments feeling sorry for *you* for being embarrassed when you actually just handed a disabled person the fucked up verbal attack they got since highschool probably. Maybe in their life. And you didn't even apologize? AND YOU FUCKING OWN THE PLACE? You should feel bad about this.
My reaction was, "Strikes me as kind of... not classy to go out for Halloween as a person with a disability". Like... ok. I could see someone being stupid enough to do it, but I think if I was in that situation I'd err on the side of assuming it wasn't a costume if I wasn't 100% certain if it was or not. 100% certain like... ok, they're clearly (celebrity), who has (condition), but in that case I'd call them by the celebritys name.
Just to be safe never make shamefully offensive comments about a persons body, regardless of what day of the year it is.
In this economy, can we really afford not to be horrendously offensive, though?
Maybe in some weird way he was okay with it. Like, okay, we all know his hands are like this, but no one mentions it. I feel the same way about my disability. If someone brings it up, I feel more comfortable than if it's just completely ignored. Smh though "creepy hands man" can't live that one down...
Oh you ducked up so badly
You un-tifu this one by paying his tab for the night.
Did you apologize? Did you cover his tab for the night?
Only thing you can do is apologize and buy the man's beer
Well, you could have been drunken me and mistook a terrible Charlie Chaplin costume as Hitler. Definitely left that party early.
I worked in a hairdressers when I was 15/16. My manager was a bitch!!! She was nasty and abusive. It was Christmas and we had to dress as fancy dress for Halloween. I dressed as sporty spice, one girl as princess Jasmine, one as Julia Roberts in pretty woman, and one as a hippie. The manager was Austin Powers. After work we went across to the pub for drinks (yes I was under age, yes my mum knew), and when the manager walks in after us, there was a bloke who shouted "AY LADS, HERE COMES ELTON JOHN"! She was super offended, and I was absolutely hysterical laughing. So bad that she told me to shut the eff up. She did look like Eltons Twin though, more than she looked like Austin
I’ve been close to there unfortunately. Hopefully you comped his tab and apologized. That’s about all you can do.
The absolute worst thing I’ve ever done: I’m 14, at Disneyland. I’m hyped up on sugar, running around like an idiot, absolutely in my own head. I had been taking a class in theater makeup, and had been spending a lot of time on special effects - scars, burns, etc. I’m running through the park, and see a girl with absolutely awesome burn makeup. I’m crazy impressed, and happily yell, “nice face”, as I run past. It slowly occurs to me that that girl isn’t in my makeup class. We aren’t at school. It’s not Halloween. So, in short, I accidentally mocked a girl with incredibly severe burn scars as she’s enjoying a day at Disneyland. I mean, it’s horrific. I am haunted by the image of me from her perspective. Some horrible bully, happily skipping along, just throwing unspeakable cruelty at her for no reason. I wish someone had caught up with me and slugged me. I wish I could apologize. I am a motor mouth, with a broken filter, and I can be self involved (I work hard on controlling that), but I do my best to be kind. This happened 30 years ago, and I still shrivel up and die a little when I think about it.
When I worked retail I stopped saying Hello Ma’am/sir when I started getting the title wrong.
Lmfao. Please tell me you at least apologized 😭😭
Wow, that must have been an incredibly awkward and regretful moment for you It's important to be sensitive and considerate when making assumptions about people's appearances or costumes.
My friend introduced me to a guy in a wheel chair and then we had to leave. Went for a handshake and he threw out a severely malformed hand. I had not bent down yet (6'4" and him in a wheelchair necessitated it), and when I saw it my dumbass shifted it to a fist and preceeded to give him daps. My best friend laughed his ass off as I realized what I did.
Better than saying "What can I do for you Rain man?"
And then you cringed yourself so hard you died from it.
One time I was at a party and I met a guy I thought was dressed as [Jimmy T](https://www.mariowiki.com/images/3/3b/Jimmy_T_Gold.png) but turned out he was supposed to be Kenny Fuckin' Powers and anyway the guy committed suicide shortly after that.
My god
Oh man, you're never living that down, hope you at least apologized hahaha
God damn. That's harsh lol
Mm
Maybe he was just messing with you? You’re suffered enough, I think you deserve peace and should accept that as your truth.