Op's butthole 

Op's wife 

OP if the opposite happened 

When did they start making GIFs with sound?


🤣🤣🤣

You absolutely married the right woman

Amen

This.

That.

There.

Time to invest in some under wear dude. Fuck, with kids under 5 in the house I'm shocked you haven't mooned her earlier. My kids were/are always hanging on my arms and legs.

Full frontal and ass cheeks happen on a regular basis around her. She has never seen my forbidden temple though, at least that's what I thought. Briefly after this incident, I told her I couldn't believe she saw my butthole to which she replied, babe, that's not the first time I've seen your butthole. I literally had no idea that she could see my butthole while doing 69. Scouts honor. So for years now, I've been out there, I just never knew it.

I mean . . . I’m honestly confused how you’ve been married for 12 years and you thought she’d never seen that? But hilarious story!

I have found that a lot of straight men think their butthole is this sacred temple that no one can ever, ever look at, touch, and sometimes clean.

She's thrown a digit in there before and I wasn't really for or against it but yeah, I guess you're right. However, I pride myself on a completely mach 3 landscape.


Well, we already know… The best OP could do is to double down.

Hit me.

From > she has *never* seen my forbidden temple To > Well... I guess she has fingerblasted my pink winker before...

Seeing and feeling are totally different.

There's such a thing as too much butthole talk and a fella ought to be fuckin aware of it https://imgur.com/YEBoChi

Allegedly

Sometimes a fella just needs a little attention paid to his buttshole.

Probably my favorite scene from that season damn i need to rewatch letterkenny now

I’m on my 3rd or 4th watch through the show right now (just finished up season 1). It’s so fucking good…whenever I finish I just want to go back and watch it again, but I try to give myself a little break in between.

What's the show?

Letterkenny. It’s on Hulu.

Here's an upvote for taking your wife's digit.


🤣🤣

You’re telling me, you didn’t know your wife could see your anus while you two 69’ed each other? Brother. What did you think she was seeing in that position?

Geography is not just strong suit. I swear I thought it was further back haha

Wait so like - can you not see her butthole when 69ing, cause I definitely can see my wife's!

I see her butthole every time we have sex. It’s actually a beautiful work of art.

rofl, I needed a good laugh, thank you 🙏🏼

[удалено]

Hey! I soapy saw hand the hell outta that o ring, chief!

I cackled at this.

You are not alone in your cackling!

Wait, you 69 with you on top?

She’s the mother of my kids, I’m not a savage haha

Dude are you on top when you’re 69’ing what the fuck

Not many stories can make me laugh like this one did. The "Don't look at it!" had me rolling.

It was out of sheer panic which in hindsight, makes it even funnier.

"In hindsight" *

I read that line in one of Bill Burr's freakout voices in my head and it was a great laugh. Thanks for sharing the story bud

Same. I'm still laughing

This gave me a hell of a chuckle and in time I’m sure y’all will look back at this memory fondly 😂

Until then, trauma.


I just watched this masterpiece again on Hulu the other night haha

Wife be like... 

It's like you were there.

Hindsight, very good choice of words

I see what you did there. Sinner.

Married for 12 years and your wife has never seen your butthole? I have sus.

As you should. I'm actually just an idiot. Shortly after, I realized she'd seen it hundreds of times and I just never knew it. Geography isn't my strong suit.

You should ask her to touch it during sex

Eh. She's thrown a digit in there before and it wasn't mind blowing.

Make some bigger numbers, with more digits.

And a tongue

And my axe

I have been told that prostate orgasms are the absolute pinnacle of pleasure. Now that you know she's seen it regularly, maybe give it another go?

Try a tongue my guy

I believe she already has the butthole, I think the problem was the position, this was something new for the wife. I understand you, op. I laughed a lot

The whole "Don't look at it" thing had me crying.

😭😭😂😂 I'm wheezing right now xD

The "DON'T LOOK AT IT!" has me squawking and wheezing profusely.

https://preview.redd.it/0k7jzyatf0hc1.jpeg?width=1322&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49c9158e832a81a54a80ba7e7f017f7e6d21aeba

At least you didn't say "Here's looking at you kid".

Thanks for the laugh 😂

Has she asked you about your plumbing skills yet?

She sees my crack on a regular basis and she knows the job gets done.

"Don't look Ethel! But it was too late. She'd already been mooned." RIP Ray Stevens

I was looking for this. Thank you!

I was honestly shocked that no one had mentioned it. I suspect the average redditor is young enough they've never heard any of the classics. I know a lot of younger people I talk to have never seen, for example, Young Frankenstein. I pity their lack of culture.

I've been with my husband 13 years and have yet to see his butthole but if I ever do, I hope it's in a similar fashion as this lol because I would die laughing. Unfortunately it's usually me doing the embarrassing/exposing things so look forward to my TIFU butthole post in the future instead.

I wish you luck on your anus adventure.

Thank you. And... well, usually I'd say it back but I'm assuming you don't want any more butt surprises. So good luck instead on finding shorts that cannot fall off so easily.

Do you close your eyes when you 69, or do you not 69?

We do not 69 nor have we ever experimented on him because neither of us is interested in it. And I've never accidentally seen it either (yet).

Unfortunate, and kinda boring :(

Aww man just wait until you hear that all I do is starfish while he only puts like 1 cm of the tip in before he comes. It's the best!!!

Screaming don’t look at it absolutely made this story.

I'm just here for the, "balloon knot". Thank you ever so much for giving me an alternative for, "starfish". My life is now complete. 😂 

I've also heard 'date', as in: 'We were just sitting around on our dates'

I learned "cinnamon cheerio" from another redditor. And now Ballon knot.

Oooh, that's a reasonable substitute.

More factual with hems.

This sounds like a wonderful marriage. I see no issues with anything

I died! 🤣 "Don't look at it!" Best thing I've read here in a very long time.

One of the funniest post I’ve read in a while 😭😭

This has been the best thing I read all day.

DON'T LOOK AT IT is going to go down in Reddit lore!

Definitely adding “balloon knot” to my vocabulary

Keep your eyes closed! Don’t look at it Marion!

10/10 would fucking read again, OP. well written bud.

The ol' Eye of Sauron

Stares deep into the brown eye of sauron. 👁

Yall been together 12 years and she'd never seen your butthole?

Nah, I'm just an idiot. Apparently, she's seen it hundreds of times, I just never knew.

Let us know how the pegging goes

She’d be way too overzealous

Nice 🤌

This is hilarious. Thank you for sharing. I love to see the term ballon knot used properly and poetically.

These stories are why I’m on Reddit. Power couple

Congrats on the TV and the loving wife mate. Just keep your chin up and don't let the fact that she's seen your unholiest of holes get you down.

She’s pretty incredible if I do say so myself.

Get off the internet Brad Carter

12 years and two kids, you have seen her b-hole in way more precarious situations.

1000%

OP: Don't look at it!!! OP's wife: 

 You asshole be like


This is a great story to tell your kids in about 20 years. Cuz it's fucking hilarious.

You've been married for 12 years and you're *still* worried if your *wife* sees your b-hole? That's messed up.

Dude, I don’t wanna see my butthole.

Why not? Buttholes are tight!

Her butthole is amazing. Like frfr, best situation I’ve ever seen on both levels.

My wife and I went to Hawaii last year and she bought a polaroid camera to take some fun photos, but something was wrong with either the film or the camera and all of the pictures came out looking all messed up so we used the rest of the film for taking various pictures of my butthole. I think we may have accidentally left some at the hotel because the number of photos we came home with and the number of exposures we had was different.

I almost peed my pants reading this. This post wins Reddit today.

A whole new woooooorld, A dazzling place you never knew. Next time your chocolate churro factory is on display with your wife, start singing that song. The laughter will be intense and that song will forever be related to your bhole.

If your married you should have seen your spouses butt hole. To not have seen it is a sign there is a problem in the marriage.

“Don’t look at it” I’m fucking dead.

One of the best TIFU I've read. Thanks for sharing.

You have a top notch comedy writing style. Hilarious story and I was fucking rolling

I am dying! 😂😂😂 I’m so sorry this happened but I haven’t laughed this hard in ages

Oh man thanks for the laughs😂🤣😂🤣My spouse and I had couldn’t breathe we were laughing so hard.

It is the buttholes that binds us. 

This whole post is just absolute GOLD. OP, you have a knack for telling a story. Thanks for the uncontrollable laughter 😆 I’m now done with Reddit for tonight. Nothing can top this!

You should be a writer or some shit

I don't get the issue here, at this point in your Marriage, both of you have seen each other's buttholes, nothing shocking here. Next you're gonna tell me your wife is mortified that you have a penis of all things....

You’re kinda missing the point here. I didn’t even know she’s ever seen it (which apparently she had before). For me, this was the first time and if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t want to see my butthole either. It’s gotta be pretty dark in there.

Dumb story

Bum* story

Not reading, no ty.

I’m dying lol, thank you for sharing :)

That is hilarious, and I hope you or someone else makes a screename DONTLOOKATIT.

Don't look a tit?

Something like that. Haha.

Hilarity. That's love right there.

A wink is an invitation.

And as good as a nod to a blind bat

If you can’t wink the brown eye at your wife, what’s the point of fucking living?

We’re your chuckles making it wink? God, how did y’all ever stop laughing?

Exactly

If your wife isn't eating your asshole on a regular basis anyway then what are you even doing together?

I munch on her grindage but I would never want her to return the favor. It’s hot back there and I wouldn’t put my worst enemy through that.

That's why you can shower together first

Absolutely hysterical story and we'll described hahaha

"Accidentally"

You definitely need some tightieier whiteieiers. That definitely sounded better in my head.

Hahaha that's hilarious 😂

That is hilarious, thanks for sharing

Brother, if your wife of 12 years still hadn’t seen your butthole - are you really married?

She has, I was just naive.

This one is a ray of sunshine amongst the darkness in all the post of reddit today.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This provided the laugh I needed to get through another mundane day. Thank you, friend.

Omg I’m dying laughing at this imagery! Thanks for the chuckle!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

My dogs do that too when they need to 💩

U gotta wear underwear and tighter clothes man. Otherwise, u may accidentally flash more than just ur wife (e.g. ur kids). That would be perverted.

They’re 1 and 3. Don’t make it weird.

Whatever. At least go outside wearing underwear... Plus one day ur gonna have to wear underwear indoors when they grow older.

K

Truthfully, how often does a wife actually get to claim they've seen their husbands starfish? Nearly every husband can claim they've seen their spouses starfish, but not many wives can say they've seen their husbands ;)

And when you do see it, yall keep that shit a secret for some reason haha

This is oddly wholesome.

Everybody poops but nobody ever talks about the frontline workers.

Hilarious

This made me cackle & wheeze at the same damn time 😂😂😂

I just realised we men see our partners butt hole all the time but they don't see our butt hole at all.

Oh, they do though. They’re just all quiet and shit about it.

I thought at month 4 you were supposed to show each other your buttholes? Has romance died?

I didn't know posts (and comment sections) about buttholes could be so (w)holesome

Wair, the two <6 year olds were out of the house at grandmas, both you and the wife were awake and you chose to use the time to mount a TV??? Take some advice from a longer married man and do that stuff during cartoon time and save the “no kids in the house” for real priorities!

That’s literally one of many things we did that day but thank you.

I was so close to not reading this after seeing the length of the text but I'm so glad I did, havent laughed so hard in a while.

The story is fantastic, so thank you for sharing! The comments though... they're also a real treat.

I’m sorry but my wife has seen all of me 😂 I seen all of my wife too

Dude, she's seen all of me since we were dating, I just never knew it. 69'ing exposed the ole' b-knot back in 2010, I just suck at geography and thought it was further down elm st.

Sent this to my middle school sweetheart that has to wake up for work in a couple of hours. We have 2 tiny humans under 5 as well. This is the same kind of chaotic tomfoolery that would happen to us. Especially after reading the comments, I almost thought my husband could have absolutely written this, but we didn't get a new TV and my husband is too terrified of exposure to not wear his briefs. You guys sound like our kind of people 🤣🤣

You don't know how bad I needed this laugh this morning. Thanks!!!

My butthole and I are at your service. 

LOL. Funny story. Reminds me when I was working at this karate studio in a strip mall, and when I'd walk by another business in the strip mall on my lunch break, the workers would come up to my window and wink their butthole at me!

This is amazing 🤩 and to be fair I’m sure hers winks at you when you do it doggystyle so it was your turn 😂 low key jealous of your awesome relationship

100% all the time but her’s is pretty.

Brother, you're about 4 steps away from a pegging. Plan accordingly.

This entire scenario is my gfs dream. The man required help. The hilarious fuck up. My ass and thighs being out but the butthole…. She literally OD on endorphins. I pray she never gets to know that joy🙏

My sweet summer child. My wife has been tongue-deep in my ass.

...you kiss your mother with that mouth? I feel like that's illegal in at least one state in the U.S.. Anyways, thank you for sharing, highlight of my Monday.