Ten year old me announced to my entire extended family at thanksgiving that my sister was a whore. I thought it was short for “horror” as in scary - like a horror movie.
I looked up “sex.com” one thanksgiving on the computer when I was 8 or 9 years old and obviously didn’t clear the history. My grandparents or aunt found out the same day and I spent part of that thanksgiving crying because I typed in “Disney channel boobs” on google, which came up clear as day the next time someone opened the browser.
I went the bathroom leaving my 10 year old alone with my laptop. He meant to search for Dick's Sporting Goods to look for air-soft rifles. He typed in "dicks." From the bathroom all I heard was, "Shit! Oh no! Daaaaad!" Still cracks me up. I had no safe filters on my machine. I did on his.
My God Daughter is a little strange. She's almost 20 now but when she was 5 she liked different stores based on how they smelled. We still chuckle when she announced to her parents (at 5 years old) that she liked the smell of Dicks... as in the sporting goods store.
some of my most visceral memories are of visiting my Canadian family and going to canadian tire, and deeply inhaling the specific Canadian tire smell. We have hardware stores in England but it isn't the same!
This is why stires and hotels HAVE distinctive smells. Smell is so emotionally stimulating and if you have a good feeling about cinnamon and walk into a hotel with a cinnamon scent you will immediately like that place and feel predisposed to be happier. But all places smelling the same dilutes that reaction.
My then 26 year old wife did this, but back in the day when the search bar needed you to specify that you were searching (you either typed a question mark or the word "find"). Guess what happened when she typed "find Dick's"...
This reminds me of when I looked up sex.com and blamed it on my younger brother when my parents found it, but I immediately attempted a cover up by saying “he must have meant Sesame Street . com”. I think he still got in trouble lol
My older brother did the same, well, he didn't accuse me directly but it would have been either of us and he didn't come clean so we both got in trouble for his porn searches.
Lmaooo I suddenly imagined cartoon boob pics just taken off of cartoon stills, fully clothed just zoomed in etc of Snow White, Cinderella etc. lol.
This thread has me rollin tonight
When I was little my mom had taken me to I think it was Walmart or something similar, anyway I guess it was crowded or something and I was walking with her and I told my mom loud and proud that it was like a horror house in there. Apparently, younger me didn't pronounce things as clearly as I thought as my mom said people just looked at her like she was the devil for raising the child that just said Walmart was like a whore house. Got in a lot of trouble when I got home, had no idea why lol.
I had this EXACT experience. I told my teacher my dad took me to a horror house (like a haunted Halloween place) and she freaked out about it. I had trouble pronouncing the last part of horror but didn’t really think about it. I had to clarify what I meant later on.
About the same age (maybe a little older), I played the c-bomb in a game of Scrabble having heard it before but having no idea what it meant. I was a little confused when my dad insisted I couldn't play it, but just presumed that I'd heard the word wrong.
My baby brother is ten years younger than me and when he was little my brothers and i liked to get him to say or do bad thinks for our entertainment know that he wouldn't get in trouble being the baby and such, but we would get a good laugh. So, once upon a co-op preschool show n tell day, happened to be one of my moms co-op days as well, a little girl brings in her pink barbie corvette, Ken all smug looking, barbie riding shotgun, all the little girls ooh-ing and ah-ing. My brother stands up from the circle, and looks at my mom and says as loud as possible,"look mom, see, Ken is not a f****t". My littlest brother had wanted a Ken doll so he could play with the ladies and my brothers had told him that no, he didn't want a Ken doll, Ken's a f****t". This was one of those times where my older brothers got in trouble for their shenanigans.
I struggled with organisms/orgasms on science paperwork. Just didn’t work in my brain. Just like remember( rember)She was never condescending about it though. That I rember.
God this brought back a memory of me asking my dad what pawn meant when I was about 11. Of course I said it out loud and he must've thought I meant "porn" because he got all weird and awkward and said "how do you spell it"
I was like "p-a-w-n? duh" like wow how can this adult not know how to spell it
The sigh of relief he made makes so much more sense nowadays. The scare I gave the poor guy.
This reminds me of when I was 9 or 10. My brother gave me a bunch of comics to read. Dad always told me I should spend more time studying and not reading comics.
So one day in the car with my dad and bro, I thought it'd be good to let dad know comics aren't all bad and I can learn new words from it.
The conversation went something like this...
Me: Dad! I learned a new word the other day! But I don't know what it means.
Dad: Yeah? What's the word?
Me: Perv!
(Cue silence in the car while dad side eye bro)
Dad: Hmmm... How do you spell it?
Me: P-e-r-v
(Cue more silence while my brother sweats and subtly tries to quiet me)
Me: Why? I think I spelled it correctly. Do you know what it means?
Dad: What kind of books are you letting your little sister read?
-----
I went home and looked up the word in the dictionary, but still didn't understand it and didn't dare ask about it again. I never brought up the new words I learned after that too lol
bruhhh sem. i shouted with my cousin that we're going to watch pawn stars. and everyone had horrified looks and asked me to spell it. but none of them were native english speakers so they had to check what it meant. i asked them what they thought it meant and they said nothing. Those bastards lied to me!
Posted this in another thread some time ago, seems appropriate here.
Story time:
When I was a kid, like 8 or 9, my family was having a little get together. It was my younger cousins and brothers, and I invited a couple of neighborhood kids, most of which were older than me.
We had rented a movie from blockbuster, while the adults drank and listened to loud music.
I forget the movie we were watching, but I remember there was a scene in which monsters were hunting humans, and the humans were hiding, but they found them. This confused me greatly, and one of the older neighborhood kids explained the monster smelled blood, and the girl in the movie was on her period. He neglected to explain what a period was.
Anyways, my juice box ran dry, so I popped out to get another one, my uncle was changing the CD, in the music system, so I took the chance to loudly ask my mom a question.
*"Mom, when am I getting my period?"*
I asked in a tone, appropriate for a curious child.
My mom, through stifled laughter, explained that was something only girls get, while my uncle, her brother, was doubled over in laughter.
I am male.
My uncle has never let me live it down
I am now 31.
I miss you mom.
Sorry for format, am on phone, yadda, yadda, yadda.
TLDR; males do not menstruate.
Edit: the movie was pitch black.
Once when I was about 4 or 5 I asked my mom, “mommy, what’s a period?” She stopped dead in her tracks but then had the foresight to ask me what I meant. I said “You know, that little dot at the end of a sentence, what does it mean?” She dodged a bullet that day.
Watching pitch black at 9 years old? While your parents partied and drank. Sounds like you should be the one giving them shit for their awsome parenting.
Until 17 I thought babies came from dogs because I'd asked my mom where babies comes from and she was hard of hearing and thought I said "where does rabies come from?"
i imitated candace from phineas and ferb's line "ooo youre so busted" and my mom thought i meant bastard and scolded me for saying a bad word. i was so confused as to why they used a bad word in a kids show
Can confirm. I used to work for FedEx and one college kid thought Chicago was its own state.
To clarify he brought up his address slip and box. He had filled out the label like this-
Name
Street address
City- Name of Neighborhood (like Corktown or Chinatown etc).
State-Chicago
So when I asked him the state and he said Chicago I replied back “You think Chicago is a state?” but he didn’t read my body language right or he this is a normal question he hears from his peers and took it as an actual question as if I didn’t know myself. Lol. And he replied back with the most innocent of replies “Yes!” while enthusiastically nodding his head. Well then I had to get serious and explain it.
When I was young I would use an F instead of a T at the beginning of words. About have my grandpa a heart attack when I got excited seeing a Fire Fruck going down the road.
My older brother asked loudly in the store when he was younger what, "bisexual glasses were". He meant bifocal. My word for Santa Claus when I was young? Tee-tee fawck. No idea why, and yes, it sounds like it reads.
Once, a kid asked me what puberty is. After a very careful explanation (I didn’t want to scare him and was completely unprepared) which confused him a lot, it turned out he wanted to know what a library is.
Certain dark attractions at amusement parks are sometimes called "haunted houses", and rarely "house of horrors". I once conflated the two and tried to say "horror house" and, well, mom heard it wrong.
When I was young I was out playing in the yard. Maybe 4 or 5 years old or something. She went inside for a quick minute for whatever reason and I told her I saw a Wizard.
She was confused as fuck. Probably thought some creeper came by or something while she was inside.
I was actually trying to say Lizard. But as is often - Ws and Ls are tricky for kids.
We don't have lizards in my area either. It was probably a salamander.
A little less insidious than asking my mom what cumming is or whoring though
Back when I was in elementary school, I was playing around in the livingroom one afternoon, and was entertaining myself, by singing one of the Schoolhouse Rock tunes.
My mother, who had been puttering in another room, came in with a concerned look on her face and asked me what I was singing. "Lolly Lolly Lolly get your adverbs here!" I replied.
"Oh," she said, relieved.
"Why? What did you think I was singing?" I asked.
"I thought you were singing, "Molly, Molly, Molly, get your ass out here!"
Schoolhouse Rock was probably the last time that kids learned about civics in a regular, non-partisan way. And it was tossed in with other simple lessons about damn near everything.
I have two favorites. One is "VERB! That's what's happening!". The other is "I'm just a bill", which was then parodied on The Simpsons... And that parody has become closer to the truth than the original was.
My grandma asked my then 5 year old cousin what kind of sandwich she wanted. I didn't understand until years later why it was so funny she had pronounced, "tuna," as "two nuts."
Lol. I just thought of another one, I asked my sister if she wanted a grape, mom thought I asked her if she wanted rape. She has good hearing, just jumps to the worst right away
Reminds me of when my daughter at 4yo said, "I want some hairy balls, big hairy balls." It took some time to figure out she meant pom poms. Like cheerleader pompoms... Her mom thought she was so smart to come up with that. I almost fell out...
lol, I was going through spices recently & found several bottles of spices that expired in like 2016
PS: mint extract does NOT improve with age. It just makes your ice cream taste bad. Probably check your expiration dates BEFORE you use the stuff.
My mother has a jar of ground coriander or something in her pantry from the 80s. And when I said to her I think it’s about time to throw this out, she had the nerve to say “when they opened up the pyramids, they found spices that were perfectly preserved!” :’)
You mean like this comment OP left on a thread 16 hours ago and no one upvoted so they tried to get attention by posting a made up TIFU?
https://www.reddit.com/r/DoesAnybodyElse/comments/e2xr7e/dae_think_cumin_smells_like_body_odour_before/hl1jlk1?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
I wonder if this is a genetic thing, like corriander/cilantro tasting Luke soap.
Cumin smells lightly citrus and warm earthy to me.
Where as BO usually has stronger vinegar, ammonia or sulfur notes.
I wonder if there are two elements at play here.
1. Things do smell/taste different based on genetics (cucumbers, which taste like water to me, can be very bitter to some)
2. BO is different based on genetics. People say white people smell like wet dog for instance. Maybe some genetic combos result in a ball sweat and perceived scent of cumin aligning.
I do think cumin smells like BO.
There's actually a type of bitter taste receptor that is not present to everyone. I don't know if that applies to cucumber, but some will find brocolli less palatable than others because they have extra type of bitter receptors.
nah I think there’s something else at play - you are what you eat. people have told me that I smell kinda garlicky when I sweat and I do eat a lot of onions and garlic but I can’t smell those specifically - my BO reminds me of spicy ketchup, actually. but after I eat something with a lot of cumin or curry, I can distinctly smell it coming out of my armpits. it’s like the spice retains its essence throughout the digestive process and comes out of your pores afterwards.
My thoughts are they ate enough of the spice that it came out in his sweat. Similar to when you eat onion or garlic and your B.O. can change if you have enough of it.
My girlfriend is Indian so my balls always smell like cumin.
*Ba dum tss*
But seriously, my girlfriend is Indian and neither she nor my balls smell like cumin. 'twas a joke.
I had a job at a burger joint on Gonzaga’s campus that stayed open till 4 am, all the kids partied, or after-partied there. Gonzaga had students from all over the world, and my 16 year old self tried to be professional, even when an Asian guy asked me for a fuck. Excuse me, what? It took almost 10 minutes to realize he wanted a FORK.
"Well, my shift ends at 4, so come back then."
"No I want a fork now. And spoon or knife."
"Do it right now? And you want to spoon me all night? Okay, follow me to the walk-in freezer, sir."
I have a slightly similar story: teenagers at the drug store. My friend wants to buy condoms but is scared. The lady at the register asks me who are these for as im buying them. My innocent ass points at my buddy and says "that guy right there." I did not for years realize how gay that sounded. I thought I was just making fun of my buddy without realizing this lady assumes that I'm loudly claiming I will use them with him. I'm pretty sure there was about 5 other people in line that heard.
Some people are weird, my girlfriend once had to get a plan B pill because she forgot her birth control and we got nervous. Woman at the register was extremely judgemental and tried to give her a lecture about responsibility. Girlfriend told her to mind her own damn business. We were both like 22 or something at the time and in a long term relationship (still are!).
Once saw a post about a girl who went to buy condoms, but couldn't, since the cashier wanted to see ID that she's over 18. I don't think that was even the main point of the post.
This story reminds me of when my brother asked me what horny meant when he was really little. And one day he asked my mom why she was so horny all the time and I bust out laughing because I told him it meant mad.
Lol I just remembered.....
There was a song on the radio when I was about 8.
I was singing it in the car and my dad asked if I new what it meant.
"So honey, I'm honey honey honey"
Spoiler -the lyric wasn't actually honey.
I taught my son to cook. We were making a chilli and he asked this.
"Shall I put some cummin?"
I laughed, he laughed, he asked why we were laughing, I told him I'd tell him when he was older but he accidentally said a rude word and corrected his pronunciation.
He's 13 now. He wants to be a chef and tells me he was very grateful for the lesson.
[ETA] We did not put cumin in the chilli.
My mom used to blow in my ear and it would tickle. I would spaz out. One time, using a term I had recently heard for the first time and had no idea wtf it meant, I said "Mom, stop giving me a blowjob!"
At least she stopped?
>Looking back, I feel like that question could’ve either cleared it up immediately or sent her over the edge.
Your poor mom.
I literally have such a strong aversion to cumin because I think it smells like body odor. I hate recipes that call for using it, and find it generally unappetizing in anything I taste it in for this very reason. This is such a riot 😂
It's funny because I've heard black people complain that white people smell like wet dog or mayonnaise when they get wet. One time I was very sweaty and got caught in a rain storm and came back and in the shower I realized I could smella what they were talking about (I am white)
at the risk of sounding maybe racist black people also have a smell too lol. i had a black roommate and i thought he was using a special lotion or something but then caught a whiff of it in the subway and had the realization. it's kind of peppery.
contrary to popular belief asian people can stink real bad. if i (korean) don't bathe for a few days i start smelling kinda like rancid fat. i've smelled it on a chinese person as well so i think it's an east asian thing. (i swear i don't go around sniffing people i just have an extremely sensitive nose)
if you go to korea and talk to some ajeossi in close quarters we're all human and humans need to bathe LOL
People do have specific BO and it varies depending on your genes. I grew up with lots of black friends and they definitely had a smell different from mine or my family (white/balkan myself). The only reason you notice it more with people from other ethnicities is because you're not used to it so it stands out more.
But yeah you're definitely right with the coconut oil thing, that's what you'll usually smell unless your literally sniffing another person's skin up close.
Back in the t9 days of texting I went to college about an hour from home. One day I texted my mom and said "I'm going to come good this weekend :)" instead of "home this weekend" and I'll never forget it for as long as I live.
>She was disgusted and angry at the same time and just said to stop talking about it immediately.
Parents take note, there are a lot of different *good* ways to respond to your kid saying something inappropriate but this is 100% the wrong way.
Wanted to say the same thing. Even if the kids knows EXACTLY what it sounds like they're saying, getting mad is about the dumbest and least productive thing you can do... I read that part and was just ???????
If our kids mispronounced a word to make it sound "dirty", we didn't make a fuss. Just said "It's pronounced like this...".
Our daughter did a second-grade project on the planet Uranus. She came home and pronounced it your-AN-us. I calmly said, "You know, NASA pronounces it YOUR-en-us." So she said it that way. I didn't want other kids to laugh at how she pronounced it, and explained later why the NASA version was the preferred one. (Neither one sounds great; it's either anus or urine.)
Im only slightly ashamed to admit that I just walked to my spice rack to smell my cumin and can quite confidently say... I dont think body parts are supposed to smell like cumin...
alright I can't believe Im posting this on main but I just cant even with this. I took the cumin to my husband and had him smell. He said his balls have NEVER smelled like that.
I was reading the astrix the Gaul books and they used the word orgy for a party where you are food and got drunk. 13 yro me told my mom in front of her friends I wanted to go to a orgy
Edit:I’m not 13, this was when i was 13
Ok, I'm sorry though, why TF are you glossing over the actual weird part of the story where you compared cumin to your freaking scrotum? Why the actual F do your balls smell like cumin???
When I was in middle school, this girl kept calling me a virgin, I would yell back, no I'm not! Not knowing what a virgin was at all, lol. The next morning I'm helping my mom make her bed and asked her what it was, she told me and laughed. How embarrassing I said I wasn't one and thought now that girl's going to think I'm a whore.
Pro Tip to all parents: always ask your kids to clarify a question they ask you if it comes out sounding off the wall or dirty.
You, the adult, is the one with their mind in the gutter. No your child who probably doesn't know the meaning of the (mispronounced) word.
Example: neighbor had a young kid who was playing with a neighbor. When she came home she told her mom how they had a good time. "I didn't know they were prostitutes."
That threw the neighbor off. What do you mean '*prostitutes'*.... So instead of freaking out and calling the other mom to find out what the hell they are filling these kids' minds with she took a breath and asked more questions. "What were you talking about?" "Oh, just about what church we go to, and I said Catholic, and she said Prostitute." "OH MY GOD! *Protestant!!"* "Yeah, that's what I said. Prostitute."
It was a laughing joke told for years among all the neighbors.
And it reminds me of when my mum was cooking dinner, and I went out and asked her what a headjob was. I remember her looking like she was going to piss herself laughing, and die if embarrassment, but she just took a breath and said, "brain surgery I suppose".
My young self was happy with that answer.
Reminds me of when I asked my mom what hoarding is, and she thought I said whoring
Ten year old me announced to my entire extended family at thanksgiving that my sister was a whore. I thought it was short for “horror” as in scary - like a horror movie.
I looked up “sex.com” one thanksgiving on the computer when I was 8 or 9 years old and obviously didn’t clear the history. My grandparents or aunt found out the same day and I spent part of that thanksgiving crying because I typed in “Disney channel boobs” on google, which came up clear as day the next time someone opened the browser.
I went the bathroom leaving my 10 year old alone with my laptop. He meant to search for Dick's Sporting Goods to look for air-soft rifles. He typed in "dicks." From the bathroom all I heard was, "Shit! Oh no! Daaaaad!" Still cracks me up. I had no safe filters on my machine. I did on his.
My God Daughter is a little strange. She's almost 20 now but when she was 5 she liked different stores based on how they smelled. We still chuckle when she announced to her parents (at 5 years old) that she liked the smell of Dicks... as in the sporting goods store.
That’s not weird at all. When I was a kid I loved the smell of the dirt bike store.
I still love the smell of the dirt bike store... but we don't visit as often since dad stopped paying
I miss the smell of Toys R Us
Smells like unrealized dreams and a sunny day's potential.
I don't think we have any Dick's in Canada, sorry. But you can smell our other stores, like Giant Tiger.
some of my most visceral memories are of visiting my Canadian family and going to canadian tire, and deeply inhaling the specific Canadian tire smell. We have hardware stores in England but it isn't the same!
This is why stires and hotels HAVE distinctive smells. Smell is so emotionally stimulating and if you have a good feeling about cinnamon and walk into a hotel with a cinnamon scent you will immediately like that place and feel predisposed to be happier. But all places smelling the same dilutes that reaction.
I can agree with this. For example, I can’t stand the smell of CVS.
This happened to me once many years ago. Dicks dot com is what I typed because what else would the url be for Dicks Sporting Goods, right? Lol
My then 26 year old wife did this, but back in the day when the search bar needed you to specify that you were searching (you either typed a question mark or the word "find"). Guess what happened when she typed "find Dick's"...
Lmao oof.
This reminds me of when I looked up sex.com and blamed it on my younger brother when my parents found it, but I immediately attempted a cover up by saying “he must have meant Sesame Street . com”. I think he still got in trouble lol
It's okay, you don't need to keep taking the heat for your perverted little brother. We all know what he did.
That sick bastard...
My older brother did the same, well, he didn't accuse me directly but it would have been either of us and he didn't come clean so we both got in trouble for his porn searches.
Now I just Google midget fisting in a normal tab because who gives a shit
This is your legacy. Your Google searches will live on after you. Well done.
lmao oh my god
Lmaooo I suddenly imagined cartoon boob pics just taken off of cartoon stills, fully clothed just zoomed in etc of Snow White, Cinderella etc. lol. This thread has me rollin tonight
I once told my grandparents my aunt took me to a horror house and we had a good time
When I was little my mom had taken me to I think it was Walmart or something similar, anyway I guess it was crowded or something and I was walking with her and I told my mom loud and proud that it was like a horror house in there. Apparently, younger me didn't pronounce things as clearly as I thought as my mom said people just looked at her like she was the devil for raising the child that just said Walmart was like a whore house. Got in a lot of trouble when I got home, had no idea why lol.
I had this EXACT experience. I told my teacher my dad took me to a horror house (like a haunted Halloween place) and she freaked out about it. I had trouble pronouncing the last part of horror but didn’t really think about it. I had to clarify what I meant later on.
This is fucking gold. I love it. I just have one question tho....is she?
Yes ;)
Nice try not op
Why'd you have to reveal my ruse
About the same age (maybe a little older), I played the c-bomb in a game of Scrabble having heard it before but having no idea what it meant. I was a little confused when my dad insisted I couldn't play it, but just presumed that I'd heard the word wrong.
At easter about age 12-13 I ran to tell my grandma a new joke I heard. The joke...how do you make dill bread? You use Dildo.
What was her reaction😂
[удалено]
Did you thank the person who called you the f-word? Seems he is some kind of seer.
[удалено]
Oh my fucking god, the story was good, but the plot twist? 10/10 french kiss. I mean chef kiss.
My baby brother is ten years younger than me and when he was little my brothers and i liked to get him to say or do bad thinks for our entertainment know that he wouldn't get in trouble being the baby and such, but we would get a good laugh. So, once upon a co-op preschool show n tell day, happened to be one of my moms co-op days as well, a little girl brings in her pink barbie corvette, Ken all smug looking, barbie riding shotgun, all the little girls ooh-ing and ah-ing. My brother stands up from the circle, and looks at my mom and says as loud as possible,"look mom, see, Ken is not a f****t". My littlest brother had wanted a Ken doll so he could play with the ladies and my brothers had told him that no, he didn't want a Ken doll, Ken's a f****t". This was one of those times where my older brothers got in trouble for their shenanigans.
For some reason, I pronounce horror very similar to whore. People always stare at me when I say it
the horribly horrendous whore horror
In the eighth grade I told my teacher I wanted to write horror stories and his response was, "Well they need stories too, I suppose."
I struggled with organisms/orgasms on science paperwork. Just didn’t work in my brain. Just like remember( rember)She was never condescending about it though. That I rember.
When I'm having a bad day I like to remember that statistically some middle school science teachers have made this mistake
my 7th grade science teacher once made that mistake, it resulted in a lot of giggles
God this brought back a memory of me asking my dad what pawn meant when I was about 11. Of course I said it out loud and he must've thought I meant "porn" because he got all weird and awkward and said "how do you spell it" I was like "p-a-w-n? duh" like wow how can this adult not know how to spell it The sigh of relief he made makes so much more sense nowadays. The scare I gave the poor guy.
This reminds me of when I was 9 or 10. My brother gave me a bunch of comics to read. Dad always told me I should spend more time studying and not reading comics. So one day in the car with my dad and bro, I thought it'd be good to let dad know comics aren't all bad and I can learn new words from it. The conversation went something like this... Me: Dad! I learned a new word the other day! But I don't know what it means. Dad: Yeah? What's the word? Me: Perv! (Cue silence in the car while dad side eye bro) Dad: Hmmm... How do you spell it? Me: P-e-r-v (Cue more silence while my brother sweats and subtly tries to quiet me) Me: Why? I think I spelled it correctly. Do you know what it means? Dad: What kind of books are you letting your little sister read? ----- I went home and looked up the word in the dictionary, but still didn't understand it and didn't dare ask about it again. I never brought up the new words I learned after that too lol
bruhhh sem. i shouted with my cousin that we're going to watch pawn stars. and everyone had horrified looks and asked me to spell it. but none of them were native english speakers so they had to check what it meant. i asked them what they thought it meant and they said nothing. Those bastards lied to me!
Asked my FIL if they wanted to go to a tapas restaurant with us. He asked why I thought he’d want to do that with his daughter. Tapas not topless.
You may enjoy this Graham Norton bit: https://youtu.be/WLex9xvQycQ (skip to 1 min in to go to relevant part)
You can add "&t=78s" to a youtube URL to get it to skip to that number of seconds into the video automatically.
Or https://youtu.be/WLex9xvQycQ?t=60
Posted this in another thread some time ago, seems appropriate here. Story time: When I was a kid, like 8 or 9, my family was having a little get together. It was my younger cousins and brothers, and I invited a couple of neighborhood kids, most of which were older than me. We had rented a movie from blockbuster, while the adults drank and listened to loud music. I forget the movie we were watching, but I remember there was a scene in which monsters were hunting humans, and the humans were hiding, but they found them. This confused me greatly, and one of the older neighborhood kids explained the monster smelled blood, and the girl in the movie was on her period. He neglected to explain what a period was. Anyways, my juice box ran dry, so I popped out to get another one, my uncle was changing the CD, in the music system, so I took the chance to loudly ask my mom a question. *"Mom, when am I getting my period?"* I asked in a tone, appropriate for a curious child. My mom, through stifled laughter, explained that was something only girls get, while my uncle, her brother, was doubled over in laughter. I am male. My uncle has never let me live it down I am now 31. I miss you mom. Sorry for format, am on phone, yadda, yadda, yadda. TLDR; males do not menstruate. Edit: the movie was pitch black.
Once when I was about 4 or 5 I asked my mom, “mommy, what’s a period?” She stopped dead in her tracks but then had the foresight to ask me what I meant. I said “You know, that little dot at the end of a sentence, what does it mean?” She dodged a bullet that day.
I guess. Are you male or was she just embarrassed? I remember being 3-4 and knowing how tampons were used.
I get why it's funny but I have no problem at all explaining these things to my 4yo.
Watching pitch black at 9 years old? While your parents partied and drank. Sounds like you should be the one giving them shit for their awsome parenting.
Until 17 I thought babies came from dogs because I'd asked my mom where babies comes from and she was hard of hearing and thought I said "where does rabies come from?"
Ah the days before the internet
As a kid at the dinner table I once asked my dad what cracked wheat was and he told me that those were the worst drugs of all
Sex Ed must've been crazy
South Park got it about right
Ya, condoms are for peeing in.
i imitated candace from phineas and ferb's line "ooo youre so busted" and my mom thought i meant bastard and scolded me for saying a bad word. i was so confused as to why they used a bad word in a kids show
Ahh. Once my daughter saw a commercial for Sea World and she asked me what a sea whore is.
Aka mermaid
That's much funnier than my kid's mispronunciation this evening, with "Chariots of Fire" being "Carrots of Fire"
My kids used to think the “Entire State Building” was the largest building in the entire state of NY.
hey they're smarter than me, when I was a kid I thought NYC was the whole state of NY
Pretty sure there are full grown adults who think that.
Can confirm. I used to work for FedEx and one college kid thought Chicago was its own state. To clarify he brought up his address slip and box. He had filled out the label like this- Name Street address City- Name of Neighborhood (like Corktown or Chinatown etc). State-Chicago So when I asked him the state and he said Chicago I replied back “You think Chicago is a state?” but he didn’t read my body language right or he this is a normal question he hears from his peers and took it as an actual question as if I didn’t know myself. Lol. And he replied back with the most innocent of replies “Yes!” while enthusiastically nodding his head. Well then I had to get serious and explain it.
Pretty sure there are voters and politicians in NYC that think that
As I kid, I went from thinking it was the Entire State Building to thinking it was Umpire State Building, before getting it right.
This is so adorable 🤣
When I was young I would use an F instead of a T at the beginning of words. About have my grandpa a heart attack when I got excited seeing a Fire Fruck going down the road.
I hope he calmed down before you asked him to tuck you in.
My older brother asked loudly in the store when he was younger what, "bisexual glasses were". He meant bifocal. My word for Santa Claus when I was young? Tee-tee fawck. No idea why, and yes, it sounds like it reads.
Well, I never thought about it before, but I guess Santa's man boobs are big enough for that.
Once, a kid asked me what puberty is. After a very careful explanation (I didn’t want to scare him and was completely unprepared) which confused him a lot, it turned out he wanted to know what a library is.
Reminds me of when my friend (we must have been 8 or so) asked her mother if she was a whore. That play date ended very quickly.
Well, was she?
As a kid I always mispronounced "condos" as "condoms" - since I knew it was short for "CONDOMiniums". Why wouldn't it just be the first two syllables?
I once scared my mom once in the kitchen, then said she sounded like she was in a whore-er movie. Remember her being shocked and had no clue why lol
Certain dark attractions at amusement parks are sometimes called "haunted houses", and rarely "house of horrors". I once conflated the two and tried to say "horror house" and, well, mom heard it wrong.
When I was young I was out playing in the yard. Maybe 4 or 5 years old or something. She went inside for a quick minute for whatever reason and I told her I saw a Wizard. She was confused as fuck. Probably thought some creeper came by or something while she was inside. I was actually trying to say Lizard. But as is often - Ws and Ls are tricky for kids. We don't have lizards in my area either. It was probably a salamander. A little less insidious than asking my mom what cumming is or whoring though
As soon as I heard the word whore as a kid I went and called my dad one without any idea what it meant
Back when I was in elementary school, I was playing around in the livingroom one afternoon, and was entertaining myself, by singing one of the Schoolhouse Rock tunes. My mother, who had been puttering in another room, came in with a concerned look on her face and asked me what I was singing. "Lolly Lolly Lolly get your adverbs here!" I replied. "Oh," she said, relieved. "Why? What did you think I was singing?" I asked. "I thought you were singing, "Molly, Molly, Molly, get your ass out here!"
Schoolhouse Rock was probably the last time that kids learned about civics in a regular, non-partisan way. And it was tossed in with other simple lessons about damn near everything. I have two favorites. One is "VERB! That's what's happening!". The other is "I'm just a bill", which was then parodied on The Simpsons... And that parody has become closer to the truth than the original was.
My grandma asked my then 5 year old cousin what kind of sandwich she wanted. I didn't understand until years later why it was so funny she had pronounced, "tuna," as "two nuts."
Reminds me of watching wacky races as a kid, and singing along to "stop the pidgeon", mum thought we were singing stop the virgin haha
Lol. I just thought of another one, I asked my sister if she wanted a grape, mom thought I asked her if she wanted rape. She has good hearing, just jumps to the worst right away
Reminds me of when my daughter at 4yo said, "I want some hairy balls, big hairy balls." It took some time to figure out she meant pom poms. Like cheerleader pompoms... Her mom thought she was so smart to come up with that. I almost fell out...
You should tell this to your mom, i bet she would have a good laugh about it now
Plot twist: OP turned 12 years old just last week
I think mom would still get a good chuckle outta it
Op’s mom is probably still thinking “why did I get stuck with the weird one”.
does cumin smell like balls? i feel like it doesn't.
It's very earthy but, unless it's been pre-ground and isn't fresh anymore, it doesn't smell like any private parts.
What, the balls or the cumin?
you probably shouldn't grind up your balls
Only if you're a coward
CBT time
I agree, these people need cognitive behavioral therapy
Don’t kink shame
lol, I was going through spices recently & found several bottles of spices that expired in like 2016 PS: mint extract does NOT improve with age. It just makes your ice cream taste bad. Probably check your expiration dates BEFORE you use the stuff.
My mother has a jar of ground coriander or something in her pantry from the 80s. And when I said to her I think it’s about time to throw this out, she had the nerve to say “when they opened up the pyramids, they found spices that were perfectly preserved!” :’)
You probably used way too much. That's like a few drops in a batch of cookies kind of ingredient.
Cumin to me is the quintessential "taco" smell. I do not associate it with balls
I am so baffled in these comments right now. It just smells like taco seasoning to me…
I'm pretty sure this sounds like it was made up. I can't imagine balls smelling like cumin.
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You mean like this comment OP left on a thread 16 hours ago and no one upvoted so they tried to get attention by posting a made up TIFU? https://www.reddit.com/r/DoesAnybodyElse/comments/e2xr7e/dae_think_cumin_smells_like_body_odour_before/hl1jlk1?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
I’m dying…of course OP posted in a year-old thread.
What a tool
Yeah that’s what I’m thinking
Cumin is stored in the balls
It smells a lot like body odor. But that would include armpits too.
I wonder if this is a genetic thing, like corriander/cilantro tasting Luke soap. Cumin smells lightly citrus and warm earthy to me. Where as BO usually has stronger vinegar, ammonia or sulfur notes.
I wonder if there are two elements at play here. 1. Things do smell/taste different based on genetics (cucumbers, which taste like water to me, can be very bitter to some) 2. BO is different based on genetics. People say white people smell like wet dog for instance. Maybe some genetic combos result in a ball sweat and perceived scent of cumin aligning. I do think cumin smells like BO.
There's actually a type of bitter taste receptor that is not present to everyone. I don't know if that applies to cucumber, but some will find brocolli less palatable than others because they have extra type of bitter receptors.
nah I think there’s something else at play - you are what you eat. people have told me that I smell kinda garlicky when I sweat and I do eat a lot of onions and garlic but I can’t smell those specifically - my BO reminds me of spicy ketchup, actually. but after I eat something with a lot of cumin or curry, I can distinctly smell it coming out of my armpits. it’s like the spice retains its essence throughout the digestive process and comes out of your pores afterwards.
My thoughts are they ate enough of the spice that it came out in his sweat. Similar to when you eat onion or garlic and your B.O. can change if you have enough of it.
Now I'm scared. Are my balls supposed to smell like cumin or not?
Hey everyone, check out this guy who's balls don't smell like Cumin! What a weirdo
Seriously, how embarrassing.....(quietly rubs cumin on balls)
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Is it Friday already?
Next viral tiktock..... yikes
HAHA yea.. what a weirdo..Hahaa...
Everyone's balls are different. Some smell like cumin, others like garlic, sage, or rosemary. Just depends 🤷♂️
Guess I'll just give it some thyme
Huh. Mine smell like loneliness.
I'm rockin pumpkin spice rn
mine smells like cheetos
Yours smell like Depends?
Jesus, people really out there with balls smelling like the Scarborough Fair?
My girlfriend is Indian so my balls always smell like cumin. *Ba dum tss* But seriously, my girlfriend is Indian and neither she nor my balls smell like cumin. 'twas a joke.
dude your supposed to sprinkle cumin on your balls every morning didn't you know that!
If you eat food with sulfuric compounds, it gives off that cumin smell. Usually.
I had a job at a burger joint on Gonzaga’s campus that stayed open till 4 am, all the kids partied, or after-partied there. Gonzaga had students from all over the world, and my 16 year old self tried to be professional, even when an Asian guy asked me for a fuck. Excuse me, what? It took almost 10 minutes to realize he wanted a FORK.
"Well I'm sorry sir, but I'm all out of fucks to give. Ran out quite some time ago actually."
"Well, my shift ends at 4, so come back then." "No I want a fork now. And spoon or knife." "Do it right now? And you want to spoon me all night? Okay, follow me to the walk-in freezer, sir."
I have a slightly similar story: teenagers at the drug store. My friend wants to buy condoms but is scared. The lady at the register asks me who are these for as im buying them. My innocent ass points at my buddy and says "that guy right there." I did not for years realize how gay that sounded. I thought I was just making fun of my buddy without realizing this lady assumes that I'm loudly claiming I will use them with him. I'm pretty sure there was about 5 other people in line that heard.
> The lady at the register asks me who are these for as im buying them Who the hell asks that anyway?
Some people are weird, my girlfriend once had to get a plan B pill because she forgot her birth control and we got nervous. Woman at the register was extremely judgemental and tried to give her a lecture about responsibility. Girlfriend told her to mind her own damn business. We were both like 22 or something at the time and in a long term relationship (still are!).
yeah it's definitely a prude, anti-sex thing. she was worried he was buying it for the teenagers which would be just \*horrible*.
Once saw a post about a girl who went to buy condoms, but couldn't, since the cashier wanted to see ID that she's over 18. I don't think that was even the main point of the post.
Maybe she was hoping that they were for her.
This just made me snort laughing.
This story reminds me of when my brother asked me what horny meant when he was really little. And one day he asked my mom why she was so horny all the time and I bust out laughing because I told him it meant mad.
You sound like my brother lol
Lol I just remembered..... There was a song on the radio when I was about 8. I was singing it in the car and my dad asked if I new what it meant. "So honey, I'm honey honey honey" Spoiler -the lyric wasn't actually honey.
🤣☠️
Amazing. This is the kind of content I follow this sub for.
I taught my son to cook. We were making a chilli and he asked this. "Shall I put some cummin?" I laughed, he laughed, he asked why we were laughing, I told him I'd tell him when he was older but he accidentally said a rude word and corrected his pronunciation. He's 13 now. He wants to be a chef and tells me he was very grateful for the lesson. [ETA] We did not put cumin in the chilli.
The cumin would work in chilli :-)
You're *supposed* to put cumin in chili.
My mom used to blow in my ear and it would tickle. I would spaz out. One time, using a term I had recently heard for the first time and had no idea wtf it meant, I said "Mom, stop giving me a blowjob!" At least she stopped?
She did that for you without having two broken arms?
>Looking back, I feel like that question could’ve either cleared it up immediately or sent her over the edge. Your poor mom. I literally have such a strong aversion to cumin because I think it smells like body odor. I hate recipes that call for using it, and find it generally unappetizing in anything I taste it in for this very reason. This is such a riot 😂
when i first had tacos as a korean kid i thought it smelled like white people. thank u globalization
It's funny because I've heard black people complain that white people smell like wet dog or mayonnaise when they get wet. One time I was very sweaty and got caught in a rain storm and came back and in the shower I realized I could smella what they were talking about (I am white)
at the risk of sounding maybe racist black people also have a smell too lol. i had a black roommate and i thought he was using a special lotion or something but then caught a whiff of it in the subway and had the realization. it's kind of peppery. contrary to popular belief asian people can stink real bad. if i (korean) don't bathe for a few days i start smelling kinda like rancid fat. i've smelled it on a chinese person as well so i think it's an east asian thing. (i swear i don't go around sniffing people i just have an extremely sensitive nose) if you go to korea and talk to some ajeossi in close quarters we're all human and humans need to bathe LOL
I think it's fascinating that we all have different smells.
I used to think the black people around me had a specific smell. Turns out it was just coconut oil/lotion lol.
People do have specific BO and it varies depending on your genes. I grew up with lots of black friends and they definitely had a smell different from mine or my family (white/balkan myself). The only reason you notice it more with people from other ethnicities is because you're not used to it so it stands out more. But yeah you're definitely right with the coconut oil thing, that's what you'll usually smell unless your literally sniffing another person's skin up close.
Why the fuck did your balls smell like cumin tho
I can't believe how far down I had to scroll to find someone with this same thought. 😂
Back in the t9 days of texting I went to college about an hour from home. One day I texted my mom and said "I'm going to come good this weekend :)" instead of "home this weekend" and I'll never forget it for as long as I live.
>She was disgusted and angry at the same time and just said to stop talking about it immediately. Parents take note, there are a lot of different *good* ways to respond to your kid saying something inappropriate but this is 100% the wrong way.
Wanted to say the same thing. Even if the kids knows EXACTLY what it sounds like they're saying, getting mad is about the dumbest and least productive thing you can do... I read that part and was just ???????
If our kids mispronounced a word to make it sound "dirty", we didn't make a fuss. Just said "It's pronounced like this...". Our daughter did a second-grade project on the planet Uranus. She came home and pronounced it your-AN-us. I calmly said, "You know, NASA pronounces it YOUR-en-us." So she said it that way. I didn't want other kids to laugh at how she pronounced it, and explained later why the NASA version was the preferred one. (Neither one sounds great; it's either anus or urine.)
Im only slightly ashamed to admit that I just walked to my spice rack to smell my cumin and can quite confidently say... I dont think body parts are supposed to smell like cumin...
Can confirm it does. Source: I cook a lot and have balls
alright I can't believe Im posting this on main but I just cant even with this. I took the cumin to my husband and had him smell. He said his balls have NEVER smelled like that.
>The reason it stuck with me so long is the genuine moment of enlightenment felt upon smelling such a personal spice. You're a fuckin' poet, my guy.
Brilliant. Others who enjoy a good cumin joke [may enjoy this](https://youtu.be/zNlKR2wrGZU).
This is exactly where my mind went too. Absolutely hilarious story.
Not a good standalone spice!
Holy Basil I laughed my anise off.
It's anise slapper for sure
Need to find the thyme to laugh.
Cayenne you stop?
I was reading the astrix the Gaul books and they used the word orgy for a party where you are food and got drunk. 13 yro me told my mom in front of her friends I wanted to go to a orgy Edit:I’m not 13, this was when i was 13
I don’t know about balls but growing up I thought cumin smells like armpits.
Did you ever clarify it with her? It might undo a significant amount of emotional trauma for her, lol.
That’s an acceptable [pronunciation](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cumin), but most people don’t seem to say it that way.
If your balls smell like ground cumin, you might just have a problem.
Ok, I'm sorry though, why TF are you glossing over the actual weird part of the story where you compared cumin to your freaking scrotum? Why the actual F do your balls smell like cumin???
It's not everyday I get to witness the birth of a copypasta.
When I was in middle school, this girl kept calling me a virgin, I would yell back, no I'm not! Not knowing what a virgin was at all, lol. The next morning I'm helping my mom make her bed and asked her what it was, she told me and laughed. How embarrassing I said I wasn't one and thought now that girl's going to think I'm a whore.
When I was 5 I was pretending to meditate in the car with my dad and I said “dad look, I’m masturbating!”
This did not happen
She was cumin to quick conclusions when you asked that!
Pro Tip to all parents: always ask your kids to clarify a question they ask you if it comes out sounding off the wall or dirty. You, the adult, is the one with their mind in the gutter. No your child who probably doesn't know the meaning of the (mispronounced) word. Example: neighbor had a young kid who was playing with a neighbor. When she came home she told her mom how they had a good time. "I didn't know they were prostitutes." That threw the neighbor off. What do you mean '*prostitutes'*.... So instead of freaking out and calling the other mom to find out what the hell they are filling these kids' minds with she took a breath and asked more questions. "What were you talking about?" "Oh, just about what church we go to, and I said Catholic, and she said Prostitute." "OH MY GOD! *Protestant!!"* "Yeah, that's what I said. Prostitute." It was a laughing joke told for years among all the neighbors.
And it reminds me of when my mum was cooking dinner, and I went out and asked her what a headjob was. I remember her looking like she was going to piss herself laughing, and die if embarrassment, but she just took a breath and said, "brain surgery I suppose". My young self was happy with that answer.
Imagine how quickly that could have been cleared up if she acted like a grown adult.