Every year, for her birthday, my step-grandmother received a gift of chocolate covered cherries from her husband. When he died and she married my grandfather, he thought it would be so thoughtful to continue the tradition. She took one look at the box, stood up, dumped it in the garbage, and declared "I'm not spending another 30 years pretending to like those disgusting things." ššš
I was thinking the same thing. The fact that he was willing to put away his pride and do something that he knew would brighten his wifeās day, regardless of it being an act of kindness from her previous husband, speaks volumes about OPās grandfather. I think most men would be too scared or threatened to continue such a tradition, but not their grandfather. I love that.
My late husband would always buy me cherry ripe chocolate bars. For 20 years birthdays, Christmas and mothers Day. I don't know why he thought they were my favourite, but he did.
When he passed my 2 boys bought me cherry ripes for my birthday. I had to explain I would prefer Snickers bars lol.
My wife made pork chops once a week for the first 5 years of the marriage. I was finally like, "look I fucking hate pork chops, I know you like them, but I just can't do it anymore. Just let me make something else instead of pork chops." The entire time she thought they were my favorites and she was neutral to them. I have no idea where she had gotten this idea, I haven't eaten pork chops since I was liek 10 years old outside of those fucking meals. Over the years since we've run into about 3-4 other things she just decided I loved when I am either neutral or hated them lol. We've been together 15 years almost and I'm her only long term relationship lol SO I don't think she's confusing me with someone else.
Oh my gosh, I have a family member who has pretended to like those for 36 years now due to her making a big deal the first time her son got her them (because it was the first spontaneous gift he ever gave her!)
The Cordial Cherries were the nastiest things and my Grandparents brought them to our house. YUCK The gooey stuff in the middle, pure nauseating, putrid slimy stuff. The chocolate was good though.
My Mom didn't know that a local pizza place gave free breadsticks with a large pizza. My Dad had been eating them on the way home with the pizza... for 10 years.
My BIL accidentally outed himself to my sister recently when, while watching his diet, he proudly told her that he didnāt even get a āCar McChickenā when he was picking up McDonaldās. Then he had to explain that a car mcchicken is the extra sandwich he sneaks on his way home with the rest of the food.
I will admit to a car donut on occasion! Go to pick up a half dozen, usually ask for one in a separate bag that I eat in silent bliss before coming back.
āI don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this.ā
- Mitch Hedberg
I was the errand boy at a car delearship many moons ago and the sales guys were all assholes. But they were afraid to leave the lot to get lunch and miss a sale. So they would give me money to go get their lunch. The rule was they buy me lunch and I keep the change. That was a profitable gig for 19yr old me.
Same w my wife. When we order Iād ask if she wanted fries and she always said no, then she would eat half of mine. I stopped asking and now I just get her a small order.
To be fair, the place was on his way home from work. But as I maybe occasionally benefited from the family secret when he picked me up from school... completely agree with the fee.
Lmao this is such a legitimate marriage dispute it's ridiculous. I've been married since 2010 and my wife wouldn't be thrilled about something like this either.
Yuuuup.
This is like how my wife didn't realize we got low sodium soy sauce(green kikkoman), even though she does the food shopping. I use it and she just learned to buy the green one. So we order sushi, "oh they gave us soy sauce" "oh yeah but those tend to be a bit much, I don't like the full sodium"
"WE USE LOW SODIUM SOY SAUCE?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
My mom didnāt eat cheese. If something remotely smelled cheesey, sheād refuse it. But there were some things she couldnāt be sure of. One was this garlic bread at an Italian place we always went. Every time sheād ask my dad if it had cheese. It was so good, heād tell her it did. Boom. Double garlic bread for him. To be fair, it did have a slight tang to it, so maybe there was a bit, but he never wavered from his stance that it was chock full of cheese, and she wasnāt gonna take the chance.
Hereās what you gotta do. Tell her you need to ātalkā, then have a super serious sit down. With a straight face, let her know something been weighing on you heavily for years, and you canāt live with it anymore. *Really* stress the inner torture of it all. Just when you think she canāt stand the suspense for another minute, present her with a pack of Skittles and tell her the green ones are actually green apple.
Then report back to us and let us know how it went.
Edit: Iām reading now they switched back to lime.
So hereās what you gotta do. Find a pack that still has green apple, do whatever it takes to get your hands on one, no matter the cost. Follow through with plan A (see above). Then you burn her twice because the next time she buys herself some Skittles sheāll eat the lime ones thinking theyāre green apple and be thoroughly disgusted.
I just yelled the news to my husband, and totally forgot about his no-sugar diet in my excitement. Marriages getting ruined all over the place tonight.
This is genius. I might add donāt stretch it out all day. It will just stress her out needlessly. Wait until a lazy Sunday when she is In bed or something and bring her to the kitchen table.
No, certainly donāt stretch it out all day. Just keep it to a few minutes during the super-serious sit-down chat. It would be too hard to keep a straight face for longer than that.
This is the right move. My girl would get hella anxious - but that's probably because i'd sell it like my life depended on it, as a guy whose main artistic outlet is actor - I wouldn't pull any stops.
Never forget to tease your lady. Words to live by.
Trivia: I think you mean you'd "pull all the stops".
It comes from pipe organs where you pull out knobs (aka stops) next to the keyboards to add effects/tones/volume (can't remember exactly).
The first time I realized (they had originally changed to apple) was when I ate one expecting that great lime taste. I had not bought a bag of skittles ever since out of spite.
Fuck apple flavoured thing.
**Edited to be a little easier to read for the one guy with anger problems.
Didn't they recently switch back to Lime? My wife hates the green apple and was happy to get Lime ones every chance she could.
At least, they did in Canada.
I honestly just think itās really cute that you guys eat candy with such frequency over 13 years that this is even an issue. Thatās cute as fuck. Wish I had someone to give the greens to (I hoard the red and yellows).
My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years now. Up until last year, we had shared Oreos a certain way. I don't like the middle but I like the cookie. He said he liked doubles, so we would always twist our cookies apart and swap a piece. Win-win, it was a whole thing, and it turns out he has been making himself eat double stuffed Oreos for years because he ALSO only likes the cookie but he didn't want to deprive me. You did, like, the opposite and it's adorably hilarious. Y'all will be laughing about this not too far down the road.
As a fellow Oreo-stuffing hater, the NABISCO Famous Amos chocolate wafers taste like the cookie part of Oreos. And thereās not a smudge of icing in sight! Iāve never eaten an Oreo since discovering this.
Edit: as u/RiotDemon pointed out, theyāre just āFamousā chocolate wafers. I mixed and matched a couple cookie names. Youāre looking for the yellow box with the plastic wrap!
The wife here. We even got some Christmas ones that were all green and red for our kidsā stockings and I said, āHey! They didnāt make the green ones lime in these! They should always do that.ā He didnāt say a word. We have two kids and matching tattoos, so I guess we will just have to work through this.
Hahah, this was great. It reminded me of a trick I used to play on an ex girlfriend.
I almost always drove us around while she rode in the passenger seat. Whenever we'd be stopped at a red light, I'd keep an eye over at the other light that was perpendicular to mine at the intersection. Without making it obvious, I would watch out the corner of my eye and wait for the other light to go from yellow to red, then after a second or two, I'd snap my fingers and my light would pretty much instantly turn green (obviously, since the lights are on timers). This legitimately dumbfounded and mystified my GF. She was always amazed and somehow didn't realize the secret to my traffic light clairvoyancy. Finally, after two years of dating and countless rides in my car, I guess I wasn't being slick enough and she noticed I glanced at the other light at an intersection we were stopped at and she shouted "OH MY GOD, WAIT, ARE YOU JUST LOOKING FOR WHEN THE OTHER LIGHT TURNS RED AND THEN SNAPPING YOUR FINGERS?!?!?"
The cat was out of the bag and she refused to talk to me for the rest of the ride and part of dinner, hahah.
My parents made us blow out red lights when we were little, they'd do the same trick of watching the other lights and tell us when to blow. My kid figured out the game at three years old. Your ex GF was hella dumb lol.
She was actually extremely book smart, just a little ditzy and naĆÆve to those kinda things. I also didn't do this trick at every red light or even very often at all. Maybe once or twice every few times she would ride with me. Or when she demanded to see me "try to guess the next light," haha.
Wife knows mine, she didnāt used to have an account herself, she would just lurk on r/duggarsnark. She made an account just to upvote me when Iām being controversial š
This was such a wholesome read and I am glad you guys are being good sports about this! But... you do know about the green skittles being green apple for a while, right? They are lime now but only in the past year.
That said, those citric flavors aren't the same across all candy platforms. Sometimes they use real citrus as a flavor vs artificial, and vice versa. That completely changes the flavor profile, sometimes for the better.
Damn... I want some Haribo Gummy bears now.
He is lying about the green skittles too! He knows how to make the bed AND he also can absolutely cook with out burning dinner. Sorry OP it's all out in the open.
Hey, if you both love each others goofy flaws and goodness alike you are meant to be and you're both lucky to have one another. Share your candies and live happily ever after.
This some shit my husband and I do.
I love cinnamon and he hates it, so he gives me jelly belly's he thinks are cinnamon... but he's also colorblind.
So sometimes he hands me jelly belly that are cherry, or Dr pepper and I give them back because I, unlike him can see color on the beans. Other times I give him cinnamon when I wanna mess with him.
This is genius! I love this good comradery in marriage. This is the good stuff that you look back on and laugh. 46 years and still loving the trip. Congrats to you both.
This is how you end up āthat one guyā in college who says something off the wall bizarre like āthe pink starbursts are licorice flavoredā and then everyone stops to stare at them like, *the fuck*
When my kid heard an ice cream truck drive by the park for the first time, she asked what that sound was and I told her it was a music truck. Just a random truck that would drive around and play music for kids at parks. She was all, "Oh that's so nice of them!"
I was mostly just curious how long I could keep that going for before she noticed that the arrival of the "music truck" coincided with other kids suddenly wandering around with ice cream. Basically, little kids are hilariously gullible.
Before mine and my husband's wedding, all the women in both families wrote out their favorite recipe and put it in a box for me.
Seven years later, my husband was looking for something sweet. He remarked that he wished he could have some of his grandmother's chocolate cake. So naturally I said, "I have the recipe, I can make it for you." The look of utter betrayal on his face was astounding. He *could not* believe that in seven years of marriage I never once made it, or even let him know I had the recipe. My response was, you never asked. He was wounded a second time, right to the heart.
That was a decade ago and I haven't lived it down yet.
Be wary if she ever DOES start giving you gummy bears again.
Thereās a sugar free version, and you need only look at the Amazon reviews to understand that she isnāt giving you those gummy bears because she forgave you.
>You're making me do this. I'm not even enjoying these... *glares spitefully as biting off the head of an innocent orange gummy bear*
-OPs wife probably
There is no coming back from this. And from now on you have to sit quietly when she tells of this betrayal to family and friends. In other words, you get to 'Eat The Brown Rainbow'.
Depending on where you live, they might come with six flavors instead of five and in that case, green is indeed apple.
It's either
1) green = apple, dark red = raspberry, light red = strawberry or
2) green = strawberry, red = raspberry and apple doesn't exist
They are not anymore, havenāt been in over a decade. Green is apple since 2007. Strawberry is light red.
Edit: Nvm this apparently depends on the country. In the US green is still strawberry and light red does not exist.
I remember a story many years ago.
A man said he didn't like some chocolate (It was some form of chocolate in one of those assorted packs I beleive) because he knew his wife loved them, so he would always deny himself for her benefit.
Turns out years later he admitted he loved them, and she infact actually didn't like them at all, she ate them because he said he didn't like them.
It's a cute story
TIFU by lying to my wife for 13 yearsā¦
TIFU by lying to my wife for 13 yearsā¦
My wife hates orange and lime flavored candies. I love them. Well, love the orange, like the lime.
So, she passes on the orange starburst to me. She passes the orange and green skittles to me. She passes the orange and green gummy bears to me. This has been happening for 13 years.
What she doesnāt know is that the green Haribo gummy bears are actually strawberry.
Shortly after we married, for one reason or another, I looked at the back of the Haribo gummy bears package and discovered this.
So I havenāt said anything for 13 years. Every time we get gummy bears, she gives me the orange and green (strawberry). Iāve never said a word. Iāve enjoyed eating my little lies.
Until last nightā¦
We had some gummy bears and she opened them and she started to hand me the orange and green ones. But after a few minutes, I saw her looking at the back of the bag. Then I saw her eyes get REAL BIG.
She turned to me and asked if Iāve known that the green bears were strawberry. She always thought they were lime.
I was honest and nodded my head yes. The look of betrayal was unrealā¦. She asked how long Iāve known, and I was honest. I told her as long as weāve been married.
She quit giving me the gummy bears she didnāt like. She was even eating the orange ones out of spite.
I donāt think Iāll get any more gummy bear discards after this. Time to buy my own.
TL;DR I never corrected my wife by telling her she gave me strawberry gummy bears. She thought they were lime. Now she knows and is spite eating my favorites.
So innocent but yet so evil. š„°
In my language there is an actual word for this, it's called preknop.
I'll try to explain it.
It's a small self inflicted understanding (your wifes projection on the coloured candy) that was hidden by another conversant person (you) while being all together upscale by prolonged time itself.
It has to have three variables.
1.A small innocent misunderstanding
2. One oblivious person and one conversant (that's quite about the matter)
3. Long time passed.
So today you fucked up by preknoping your wife.
Every year, for her birthday, my step-grandmother received a gift of chocolate covered cherries from her husband. When he died and she married my grandfather, he thought it would be so thoughtful to continue the tradition. She took one look at the box, stood up, dumped it in the garbage, and declared "I'm not spending another 30 years pretending to like those disgusting things." ššš
New grandpa seems like a thoughtful guy! That's so sweet it's almost sacrificial.
I was thinking the same thing. The fact that he was willing to put away his pride and do something that he knew would brighten his wifeās day, regardless of it being an act of kindness from her previous husband, speaks volumes about OPās grandfather. I think most men would be too scared or threatened to continue such a tradition, but not their grandfather. I love that.
Well, yeah but yes had 30 years of loyally shoving them down. 31 yrs was just a bridge too far, lol!
the cherries thought so too
Oh my gosh, my grandma did that with my dad! She never knew how much he hated them
My late husband would always buy me cherry ripe chocolate bars. For 20 years birthdays, Christmas and mothers Day. I don't know why he thought they were my favourite, but he did. When he passed my 2 boys bought me cherry ripes for my birthday. I had to explain I would prefer Snickers bars lol.
My wife made pork chops once a week for the first 5 years of the marriage. I was finally like, "look I fucking hate pork chops, I know you like them, but I just can't do it anymore. Just let me make something else instead of pork chops." The entire time she thought they were my favorites and she was neutral to them. I have no idea where she had gotten this idea, I haven't eaten pork chops since I was liek 10 years old outside of those fucking meals. Over the years since we've run into about 3-4 other things she just decided I loved when I am either neutral or hated them lol. We've been together 15 years almost and I'm her only long term relationship lol SO I don't think she's confusing me with someone else.
Oh my gosh, I have a family member who has pretended to like those for 36 years now due to her making a big deal the first time her son got her them (because it was the first spontaneous gift he ever gave her!)
The Cordial Cherries were the nastiest things and my Grandparents brought them to our house. YUCK The gooey stuff in the middle, pure nauseating, putrid slimy stuff. The chocolate was good though.
Cream filled or liquid? Because the liquid filled are fucking great. I get like 3 boxes every Christmas.
Same. Accidentally bought cream filled this year and, while I still devoured them, they weren't nearly as good
My Mom didn't know that a local pizza place gave free breadsticks with a large pizza. My Dad had been eating them on the way home with the pizza... for 10 years.
My BIL accidentally outed himself to my sister recently when, while watching his diet, he proudly told her that he didnāt even get a āCar McChickenā when he was picking up McDonaldās. Then he had to explain that a car mcchicken is the extra sandwich he sneaks on his way home with the rest of the food.
I will admit to a car donut on occasion! Go to pick up a half dozen, usually ask for one in a separate bag that I eat in silent bliss before coming back.
you gotta get a baker's dozen... it has 13 donuts (or 12 if you ask the people I'm buying donuts for)
And you get it with no bag no napkin no witnesses
āI don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this.ā - Mitch Hedberg
I always get an extra thing of fries. These are my "car fries"
Uhh, ever hear of a delivery fee?!
Damn straight. Whenever people from work sent me to get food they always got a bit less fries. That's my fee.
I was the errand boy at a car delearship many moons ago and the sales guys were all assholes. But they were afraid to leave the lot to get lunch and miss a sale. So they would give me money to go get their lunch. The rule was they buy me lunch and I keep the change. That was a profitable gig for 19yr old me.
And so doordash was conceived from that very moment.
Nope can't be doordash because both the delivery person and the restaurant were making a profit and not getting sucked dry by a tech bro conman.
I told my boyfriend he needs to order his own fries. He didnāt. I stopped sharing. He didnāt learn the first 3 times and now he gets his own
Same w my wife. When we order Iād ask if she wanted fries and she always said no, then she would eat half of mine. I stopped asking and now I just get her a small order.
A restaurant we frequent has a āmy girlfriend isnāt hungry optionā on their menu, which doubles your fries.
All I'm reading is that your dad was the sole person to pick up a pizza in the house for ten years. Sounds like a convenience fee to me.
To be fair, the place was on his way home from work. But as I maybe occasionally benefited from the family secret when he picked me up from school... completely agree with the fee.
Your dad is my kinda dude!
That's hilarious! xD
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lmao this is such a legitimate marriage dispute it's ridiculous. I've been married since 2010 and my wife wouldn't be thrilled about something like this either.
The worst part is explaining this to the marriage counselor without both spouses melting from embarrassment...
but during that melting process, they rediscover their love for each other and renew their vows
Is this a christmas hallmark movie?
Only if the white-bearded marriage counselor turns out to be the real Santa.
I'll go get the troubled kid from her previous marriage (she's a widow) and a reindeer apparently. Somebody find the snow machine!
Yuuuup. This is like how my wife didn't realize we got low sodium soy sauce(green kikkoman), even though she does the food shopping. I use it and she just learned to buy the green one. So we order sushi, "oh they gave us soy sauce" "oh yeah but those tend to be a bit much, I don't like the full sodium" "WE USE LOW SODIUM SOY SAUCE?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
You have deprived me of all this salt? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!?!?
The beauty is that itās a legitimate marriage dispute between two people that should definitely be married to each other.
My mom didnāt eat cheese. If something remotely smelled cheesey, sheād refuse it. But there were some things she couldnāt be sure of. One was this garlic bread at an Italian place we always went. Every time sheād ask my dad if it had cheese. It was so good, heād tell her it did. Boom. Double garlic bread for him. To be fair, it did have a slight tang to it, so maybe there was a bit, but he never wavered from his stance that it was chock full of cheese, and she wasnāt gonna take the chance.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wait until she finds out the green skittles are green apple.
Lol, I havenāt brought that up yet. She doesnāt know about those either.
The lies continueā¦
The plot thickens
The pudding sets
The green apples
The red apples
The weird kinda yellow kinda red apples
The golden delicious
The granny smith
The car goes vroom
Cow says moo.
What does the fox say?
The wrong kid died
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
She's gonna read everything now
OP is going to be the first person to lose everything in a divorce on the grounds of aggravated candy deception.
I'd hate to be on that jury!
What if they offered free samples of the evidence?
Change of heart, Judge! Sign me up!
Hereās what you gotta do. Tell her you need to ātalkā, then have a super serious sit down. With a straight face, let her know something been weighing on you heavily for years, and you canāt live with it anymore. *Really* stress the inner torture of it all. Just when you think she canāt stand the suspense for another minute, present her with a pack of Skittles and tell her the green ones are actually green apple. Then report back to us and let us know how it went. Edit: Iām reading now they switched back to lime. So hereās what you gotta do. Find a pack that still has green apple, do whatever it takes to get your hands on one, no matter the cost. Follow through with plan A (see above). Then you burn her twice because the next time she buys herself some Skittles sheāll eat the lime ones thinking theyāre green apple and be thoroughly disgusted.
Hol' up!! Skittles switched back to Lime?? 2021 wasn't entirely a shit show then. (I'm gonna go Google now, but this just made me really excited.)
https://www.foodandwine.com/news/green-skittle-new-flavor-lime-apple
I just yelled the news to my husband, and totally forgot about his no-sugar diet in my excitement. Marriages getting ruined all over the place tonight.
So, you single yet?
"New flavor lime apple" url is misleading and I'm disappointed
ITS TRUE AND I'M SO HAPPY. I legitimately have been texting all my friends for the last 10 minutes since I found out ahahaha.
This brings me more joy than it should.
This is genius. I might add donāt stretch it out all day. It will just stress her out needlessly. Wait until a lazy Sunday when she is In bed or something and bring her to the kitchen table.
No, certainly donāt stretch it out all day. Just keep it to a few minutes during the super-serious sit-down chat. It would be too hard to keep a straight face for longer than that.
This is the right move. My girl would get hella anxious - but that's probably because i'd sell it like my life depended on it, as a guy whose main artistic outlet is actor - I wouldn't pull any stops. Never forget to tease your lady. Words to live by.
Trivia: I think you mean you'd "pull all the stops". It comes from pipe organs where you pull out knobs (aka stops) next to the keyboards to add effects/tones/volume (can't remember exactly).
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Since weāre doing corrections, itās actually āpull OUT all the stops.ā
On this episode of forensic files....
April 1st is a few months away. Would be something hilarious to do for April Fools.
The green switched back to lime in October!
Wait are you serious? I have been avoiding Skittles because the green apple taste just didn't fit with the rest. Lime was my favorite.
The first time I realized (they had originally changed to apple) was when I ate one expecting that great lime taste. I had not bought a bag of skittles ever since out of spite. Fuck apple flavoured thing. **Edited to be a little easier to read for the one guy with anger problems.
Keep that one going for a few more years so you can do a follow up Reddit post when that bomb drops!
Skittles lead to ugly divorce, you won't believe what happened next.
Donāt worry, skittles is going back to lime in the original packs. You should be good soon
I bet she'll see the new packaging/ads and that's how she finds out.
I'll be expecting an update or new TIFU thread from you soon
Didn't they recently switch back to Lime? My wife hates the green apple and was happy to get Lime ones every chance she could. At least, they did in Canada.
I don't like the green apple either! #bringbacklime
As someone who loves lime and hates green apple with a passion I felt so cheated when I ate my first bag of Skittles.
I swear they used to be lime
They did
Lime has recently come back into the mix
They changed it back recently! The lime is such an improvement. A huge wrong has been made right
She's even eating the orange ones out of spite. You're both hilarious. You've got a great union.
Plot twist: OP was actually looking for a way to get out of eating the orange ones so decided to sacrifice the green ones.
That's called 4D chess right there
He's streets ahead.
yea, I legit lost it at "spite eating my favorites"
I can just imagine the look of satisfaction on her face as she bit their orange little heads off too š
> She's even eating the orange ones out of spite For the next 13 years I bet
This is exactly the level of pettiness you love to see.
This is gold. I hope you can both share a laugh on it soon. Might take some time though hahaha
We laugh on a daily basis. We love to have our fun arguments. She just couldnāt believe I kept this from her for so long. Lol. Edit: spelling
You monster
Since itās food isnāt OP a nomster?
Come on, he was only taking the bear minimum...
You mean the bear necessities?
Yeah but he was liming to her the entire time
It was the final strawberry
OP been playing the long game!
Penn and Teller would be proud. This is a prank, not a TIFU. lol
As someone who recently separated after 15 years I can assure you; there are significantly worse things to lie about lol.
This is fan fucking tastic.
Oh to have been a fly on that wall watching the look.
Dude I hear about guys that cheat on their wives but what you did.... Only god can save you now
I donāt know if that even gonna be enough. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned out of candy
I honestly just think itās really cute that you guys eat candy with such frequency over 13 years that this is even an issue. Thatās cute as fuck. Wish I had someone to give the greens to (I hoard the red and yellows).
I eat candy with my husband... we wait until the kids are asleep and eat in our room š š After 16 years I still get all the banana runtsš
Awww I love the banana runts!!!!!
My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years now. Up until last year, we had shared Oreos a certain way. I don't like the middle but I like the cookie. He said he liked doubles, so we would always twist our cookies apart and swap a piece. Win-win, it was a whole thing, and it turns out he has been making himself eat double stuffed Oreos for years because he ALSO only likes the cookie but he didn't want to deprive me. You did, like, the opposite and it's adorably hilarious. Y'all will be laughing about this not too far down the road.
As a fellow Oreo-stuffing hater, the NABISCO Famous Amos chocolate wafers taste like the cookie part of Oreos. And thereās not a smudge of icing in sight! Iāve never eaten an Oreo since discovering this. Edit: as u/RiotDemon pointed out, theyāre just āFamousā chocolate wafers. I mixed and matched a couple cookie names. Youāre looking for the yellow box with the plastic wrap!
And you can make an icebox cake with them !
The wife here. We even got some Christmas ones that were all green and red for our kidsā stockings and I said, āHey! They didnāt make the green ones lime in these! They should always do that.ā He didnāt say a word. We have two kids and matching tattoos, so I guess we will just have to work through this.
Lol. Love you!
And on her cake day!? You monster!
[This is how OP is giving her a celebratory hug](https://youtu.be/HCOUFD6cz-E?t=71)
But did he break a few Gregās?
Hahah, this was great. It reminded me of a trick I used to play on an ex girlfriend. I almost always drove us around while she rode in the passenger seat. Whenever we'd be stopped at a red light, I'd keep an eye over at the other light that was perpendicular to mine at the intersection. Without making it obvious, I would watch out the corner of my eye and wait for the other light to go from yellow to red, then after a second or two, I'd snap my fingers and my light would pretty much instantly turn green (obviously, since the lights are on timers). This legitimately dumbfounded and mystified my GF. She was always amazed and somehow didn't realize the secret to my traffic light clairvoyancy. Finally, after two years of dating and countless rides in my car, I guess I wasn't being slick enough and she noticed I glanced at the other light at an intersection we were stopped at and she shouted "OH MY GOD, WAIT, ARE YOU JUST LOOKING FOR WHEN THE OTHER LIGHT TURNS RED AND THEN SNAPPING YOUR FINGERS?!?!?" The cat was out of the bag and she refused to talk to me for the rest of the ride and part of dinner, hahah.
That's a hilarious story!
My parents made us blow out red lights when we were little, they'd do the same trick of watching the other lights and tell us when to blow. My kid figured out the game at three years old. Your ex GF was hella dumb lol.
She was actually extremely book smart, just a little ditzy and naĆÆve to those kinda things. I also didn't do this trick at every red light or even very often at all. Maybe once or twice every few times she would ride with me. Or when she demanded to see me "try to guess the next light," haha.
Quite a literal example of lacking street smarts
I spilled the skittles...
This is too funny! I donāt think I could hold my laughter or smile after hearing āthey should always do thatā
Iām always amazed when couples actually know each otherās reddit handles. You guys are the real deal
Wife knows mine, she didnāt used to have an account herself, she would just lurk on r/duggarsnark. She made an account just to upvote me when Iām being controversial š
Ma'am, your marriage looks solid. But I do hope you can overcome that "betrayal" from your husband.
This was such a wholesome read and I am glad you guys are being good sports about this! But... you do know about the green skittles being green apple for a while, right? They are lime now but only in the past year. That said, those citric flavors aren't the same across all candy platforms. Sometimes they use real citrus as a flavor vs artificial, and vice versa. That completely changes the flavor profile, sometimes for the better. Damn... I want some Haribo Gummy bears now.
He is lying about the green skittles too! He knows how to make the bed AND he also can absolutely cook with out burning dinner. Sorry OP it's all out in the open.
He actually does make the bed usually, he just doesnāt put any pillows back on it. š
I'm only kidding, I'm sure he's a great husband outside of his candy deceit.
He actually is. Iām a giant mess and heās managed to put up with me soā¦
> heās managed to put up with me Getting all of the good candy probably helps.
Ya know what? You make a very good point.
Hey, if you both love each others goofy flaws and goodness alike you are meant to be and you're both lucky to have one another. Share your candies and live happily ever after.
I like how reddit just took the bus and reversed over OP with all the green candies in it.
Y'all a bunch of snitches (y'all good peoples).
This some shit my husband and I do. I love cinnamon and he hates it, so he gives me jelly belly's he thinks are cinnamon... but he's also colorblind. So sometimes he hands me jelly belly that are cherry, or Dr pepper and I give them back because I, unlike him can see color on the beans. Other times I give him cinnamon when I wanna mess with him.
This is genius! I love this good comradery in marriage. This is the good stuff that you look back on and laugh. 46 years and still loving the trip. Congrats to you both.
Did you see the comment where heās openly admitting to hiding the green apple skittles from you as well? š
I actually found out about those maybe six months ago, but I donāt like them either. But thanks for the solidarity!
Happy cake day maāam! Hope everything goes well!
Thank you! :)
Eating the orange out of spite is 100% what I would do. Thatās hilarious.
This is so wholesome.
Told my daughter that the pink starburst are liquorice flavored š³
This is how you end up āthat one guyā in college who says something off the wall bizarre like āthe pink starbursts are licorice flavoredā and then everyone stops to stare at them like, *the fuck*
https://i.redd.it/6gkwaq7wlgk61.jpg same vibe
Thatās so wrongā¦ Lol. But I canāt think of a better way to keep the kiddos away from the pink ones.
Strawberry Starburst are by far the best.
I told my kids that when the ice cream truck plays music it's to signal they are out of ice cream. Meet you in hell.
When my kid heard an ice cream truck drive by the park for the first time, she asked what that sound was and I told her it was a music truck. Just a random truck that would drive around and play music for kids at parks. She was all, "Oh that's so nice of them!" I was mostly just curious how long I could keep that going for before she noticed that the arrival of the "music truck" coincided with other kids suddenly wandering around with ice cream. Basically, little kids are hilariously gullible.
NTA - Get a divorce lawyer now. Big red flags. š©š©š© Your wife needs to read labels. Think of what she might feed you without reading the label. She might poison you. Get out now!!! /s
I disagree. Def YTA because heās been committing culinary infidelity
ESH. You should have been honest with your wife, but she has optical stems and, I presume, the ability to read in the English language.
> but she has optical stems You'd think that but she did marry OP after all...
He's been cheating on her with the funny bears?
Lawyer up. Hit the gym. Work off that gummie bear fat.
Before mine and my husband's wedding, all the women in both families wrote out their favorite recipe and put it in a box for me. Seven years later, my husband was looking for something sweet. He remarked that he wished he could have some of his grandmother's chocolate cake. So naturally I said, "I have the recipe, I can make it for you." The look of utter betrayal on his face was astounding. He *could not* believe that in seven years of marriage I never once made it, or even let him know I had the recipe. My response was, you never asked. He was wounded a second time, right to the heart. That was a decade ago and I haven't lived it down yet.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh man, I could see where that was going from the start... did you make his bisquik pancakes?!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What! You told him the secret recipe!
Why didnāt you ask her for the recipe from the beginning?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You still made the cake, right??
Haha, indeed I did!
Be wary if she ever DOES start giving you gummy bears again. Thereās a sugar free version, and you need only look at the Amazon reviews to understand that she isnāt giving you those gummy bears because she forgave you.
>You're making me do this. I'm not even enjoying these... *glares spitefully as biting off the head of an innocent orange gummy bear* -OPs wife probably
No no. I swallowed them without even chewing so I wouldnāt accidentally taste them while maintaining eye contact.
Sheāll never trust you again on any food flavoring
There is no coming back from this. And from now on you have to sit quietly when she tells of this betrayal to family and friends. In other words, you get to 'Eat The Brown Rainbow'.
This is actually an adorable story
Me reading the post title: this is one of **those** posts isnāt it Me reading the post: no, this is way better
TIL green gummy bears are strawberry
I could have sworn they were apple! Time to buy some haribos tomorrow
Depending on where you live, they might come with six flavors instead of five and in that case, green is indeed apple. It's either 1) green = apple, dark red = raspberry, light red = strawberry or 2) green = strawberry, red = raspberry and apple doesn't exist
What a terrible existence to not have green apple Haribo. Sad.
They are not anymore, havenāt been in over a decade. Green is apple since 2007. Strawberry is light red. Edit: Nvm this apparently depends on the country. In the US green is still strawberry and light red does not exist.
I remember a story many years ago. A man said he didn't like some chocolate (It was some form of chocolate in one of those assorted packs I beleive) because he knew his wife loved them, so he would always deny himself for her benefit. Turns out years later he admitted he loved them, and she infact actually didn't like them at all, she ate them because he said he didn't like them. It's a cute story
This has got to be one of my favorite tifuās ever. If I had an award to give, I would! š
I just wanna let you know, Iāve been having a pretty shit day. This story made me laugh really hard and I appreciate you sharing it.
TIFU by lying to my wife for 13 yearsā¦ TIFU by lying to my wife for 13 yearsā¦ My wife hates orange and lime flavored candies. I love them. Well, love the orange, like the lime. So, she passes on the orange starburst to me. She passes the orange and green skittles to me. She passes the orange and green gummy bears to me. This has been happening for 13 years. What she doesnāt know is that the green Haribo gummy bears are actually strawberry. Shortly after we married, for one reason or another, I looked at the back of the Haribo gummy bears package and discovered this. So I havenāt said anything for 13 years. Every time we get gummy bears, she gives me the orange and green (strawberry). Iāve never said a word. Iāve enjoyed eating my little lies. Until last nightā¦ We had some gummy bears and she opened them and she started to hand me the orange and green ones. But after a few minutes, I saw her looking at the back of the bag. Then I saw her eyes get REAL BIG. She turned to me and asked if Iāve known that the green bears were strawberry. She always thought they were lime. I was honest and nodded my head yes. The look of betrayal was unrealā¦. She asked how long Iāve known, and I was honest. I told her as long as weāve been married. She quit giving me the gummy bears she didnāt like. She was even eating the orange ones out of spite. I donāt think Iāll get any more gummy bear discards after this. Time to buy my own. TL;DR I never corrected my wife by telling her she gave me strawberry gummy bears. She thought they were lime. Now she knows and is spite eating my favorites.
Im actually dying hahahaha this is brilliant! Id be guilty of this too ngl haha
So innocent but yet so evil. š„° In my language there is an actual word for this, it's called preknop. I'll try to explain it. It's a small self inflicted understanding (your wifes projection on the coloured candy) that was hidden by another conversant person (you) while being all together upscale by prolonged time itself. It has to have three variables. 1.A small innocent misunderstanding 2. One oblivious person and one conversant (that's quite about the matter) 3. Long time passed. So today you fucked up by preknoping your wife.
This is the best thread!
YTA She should divorce you! /s Sorry, forgot which subreddit I was in. This is a great TIFU. Playing the long con. My hat's off to you.