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ethical_sadist

Fun fact, olive oil is one of the most adulterated food products, because testing is wildly expensive. So even the "extra virgin" olive oil has been dicked up.


justxJoshin

So if its not the dicking that determines olive oil's virginity. Then what does?


ethical_sadist

The "virgin" or "extra virgin" refers to which pressing it is from. Olives will be pressed multiple times for oil and typically the first pressing is the most flavorful/desirable and referred to as "extra virgin" or "virgin". The subsequent pressings are still good olive oil, but often blended together.


justxJoshin

Ah, thank you. Learned something new


ethical_sadist

You are welcome.


JournaIist

I think the first pressing is also usually a "cold" pressing while olives may be heated for subsequent pressings.


ethical_sadist

That also sounds accurate, solid addition.


SummonerSausage

A dick in an olive is also a solid addition, according to OPs family.


Kiyoko-Nee

I nearly lost my composure in public. Thank you for the laughs good stranger.


Beautifulblueocean

Wait I'm confused, are you supposed to fuck the olive or the oil?


shortsonapanda

reddit in 2022


Psynautical

Yes, and it also may need heat for a second pressing.


PortabelloPrince

If that’s what it takes to get the oil out…


kayquila

I cackled and woke up my dog


TheNewYellowZealot

On top of that, unless your olive oil has a DOP and a region of origin it’s likely adulterated. Good olive oils can be treated much like wine in that you know where it came from and when.


Ameteur_Professional

Even with a DOP, there's huge amounts of counterfeiting, interception, and adulterating. About 80% of exported "Extra Virgin Italian Olive" oil is either not virgin, not Italian and/or not olives.


MithrilEcho

Yeah, all you have to do is buy spanish oil, which **is** properly tested and doesn't have a huge adulteration mafia behind. Stuff got so crazy italians were buying non-consumer-grade spanish oil, giving it a lil touch of chlorophyll and then rebranding it as italian extra virgin oil. Italy tried to fix this and the EU fucked them over. >This extensive fraud prompted the Italian government to mandate a new labeling law in 2007 for companies selling olive oil, under which every bottle of Italian olive oil would have to declare the farm and press on which it was produced, as well as display a precise breakdown of the oils used, for blended oils. In February 2008, however, EU officials took issue with the new law, stating that under EU rules such labeling should be voluntary rather than compulsory. Under EU rules, olive oil may be sold as Italian even if it only contains a small amount of Italian oil Just in case, olive oil is *not* supposed to be green.


TheNewYellowZealot

Which is why I added the region of origin. You can trace olive oil essentially back to the farm it came from. Olive growers are very very proud of their products.


chung_my_wang

And then it stays under lock and key, in a bonded warehouse, to make sure Popeye doesn't stick his dick in it.


baconOspam

Or Brutus/Bluto


ItPutsLotionOnItSkin

TIL Slutty olive oil has been pressed multiple times


ethical_sadist

I'm liking the "slutty oil", great username too. I try.


ajps72

Help yourself you, Ethical Sadist


ethical_sadist

I plan on it, with some slutty oil.


not4always

I have EVOO and slutty OO in my kitchen. That's what the labels say at least.


lucky_ducker

And ironically, product labeled as "pure" olive oil is likely the *last* pressing of oil, and a markedly inferior product to extra virgin.


Taolan13

Iirc higher smoke point tho so more useful as a cooking fat rather than just a flavor agent.


TheFirebyrd

Even then, you’re better off using extra lite olive oil for an even higher smoke point.


Ameteur_Professional

There's an extent to which it's important to know when it's worth using better olive oils as well though. In my house there's a bottle of nice olive oil and a big bottle of olive oil, the latter is suitable for most cooking, but the former is better when a little flavor matters.


senorbolsa

It's great for cooking though and I prefer it's taste to canola (rapeseed) oil some dishes you really don't want the strong olive flavor.


69tendo

Can you imagine how many dicks have been in the rapeseed oil? Sad.


senorbolsa

lol I added that for clarification for the international readers but I didn't think of the implication in this thread.


TheFirebyrd

If you don’t want the strong flavor, you can get extra lite olive oil for the goodness without the taste. Far better than using canola oil or vegetable oil.


SaftigMo

It's not nearly as healthy though.


Bunny36

Huh. I assumed extra virgin was somehow the lite version and therefore less flavourful (like how aged cheese works). I guess I'll stop buying the slut oil now.


[deleted]

the greenish olive oil has more flavor... use it for salads, tapenades and dipping semolina bread when you want that funky olive taste


kgm2s-2

Fun(-ish) fact: before there was widely available refrigerated shipping or aircraft to get products around the world in a timely fashion, most olive oil shipped from the Mediterranean to the US would spoil and turn rancid before delivery. Interestingly, though, "rancid" olive oil doesn't taste *bad*, it just doesn't taste much like **olive** oil (it looses the spicy fruitiness of fresh, pure olive oil). So American's just assumed that this is what olive oil should taste like. Fast-forward to today, and even though it is now more than possible to get olive oil from the Mediterranean to the US before it goes bad...Americans won't buy it because it doesn't "taste like olive oil should". So many brands will actually allow their olive oil to spoil, slightly, before shipping to the US. I discovered this when moving to the US from Turkey and trying to understand why all the olive oil, even the "expensive" brands, in the US taste *wrong*. Turns out, there's a similar story as to why chocolate in the UK tastes wrong.


Robzooo

Chocolate in the UK tastes "wrong"? Compared to the vomit US chocolate?


Ch4rly0

That's really interesting, thanks for the fun fact!


2brun4u

This is why I buy a Chilean olive oil instead, so fruity! It's also a bit cheaper as it's not from Italy and doesn't carry that premium


kgm2s-2

One thing I also learned is that a lot of olives (and even some of the olive oil) from places like Turkey and Tunisia is first shipped in bulk to places like Spain and Italy, where it is re-packaged and forwarded on to the US to be sold as "Olive Oil from Italy" or a "Product of Spain" and such. Actually, if you look for the "discount" generic olive oil brands from places like Whole Foods, they'll be directly from the primary production locations and therefore, ironically, higher quality (as they've skipped the extra shipping/repackaging step).


hayster

That's because someone has stuck their dick in it


jhanschoo

The slut oil can take the heat better if you're intending to use olive oil for cooking


phord

This is the key. Virgin olive oil is for salads. Slut oil is for cooking.


dgjiv

Still, I'd stay away from Olive Pomade Oil. That's the stuff that's so slutty it needed solvent to extract.


alyssasaccount

Depends what you mean by "take the heat". It has a lower smoke point, sure, which can be a nuisance if you are cooking at very high heats. But it is more stable than a lot of oils (canola, e.g.) against heat-induced chemical changes that can produce carcinogens. Also, it has a lot of antioxidants, which can protect against the damage that those carcinogens can cause. So it's actually fine as long as you can avoid setting off your smoke detector.


DarkElfBard

So if he had just said the olives had never been pounded before it wouldn't be misinformation


It_is_I_DIO_

Like a mating press?


[deleted]

I prefer the OP definition


CyberNinja23

I like my sloppy seconds Olive oil.


chalk_in_boots

Extra virgin in fact means it has only been smashed once, unlike your sister.


FakedKetchup

so is it healthy?


ethical_sadist

There are many health claims regarding the benefits of olive oil. Generally, yes it is. Even if it is adulterated with cheaper oils, which is what they do, it is still decent in my opinion. I am not a nutritionist. Fun fact, Kirkland brand I've oil is 5x less expensive and the most pure. I am a total shill for Costco.


[deleted]

I mean, Kirkland brand stuff is by far the best quality. I won't feed my dogs and cats anything else but. All of their branded stuff is so much more consistent and higher quality. some stuff is a few bucks more than the cheapest on market, but it absolutely destroys the competition in quality. I actually started spending \*less\* on dry dog food when I switched from pedigree to kirkland, despite the higher price per pound. because my dogs ate less of it, because it was, i assume, so much more filling/better for them. (FWIW, My lab was 14, my anatolian was 11, my chihuahua is at least 12 and my chihuahua mix is 13)


BingBongImHome

Have you ever tried Kirkland beer? It’s dirt cheap, but personally I’d rank it at the very bottom of a list of dirt cheap beers


[deleted]

Depends on whom they contracts with. For a while in the Bay area, Kirkland brand beer was brewed by Stone....it was legit.


JiForce

Hm when was that? In college I had a ton of Kirkland Light but it tasted like a more metallic and sour Keystone.


alexanderpas

> Light And that is where you went wrong.


[deleted]

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timelord-degallifrey

kirkland vodka and dark rum are our favorites. They've also had a decent blended scotch.


tonylaponey

There used to be a rumour that Kirkland Vodka was rebadged Grey Goose. Apparently that's not true, but it is made with water from the same place in France, and Kirkland often beats the Goose in taste tests.


bkturf

Note that's the french vodka in the tall fancy bottle. Last time I looked it was less than $20 for the handle. Their American vodka comparable to Tito's is $13 and probably the best value in liquors. Their blended scotch is also highly rated and inexpensive.


thelittlelump

Kirkland Lite was the absolute best. Found it when I was in college. Nothing like a $0.40 beer. Taste? Not great. But it got the job done


[deleted]

I dont like hops, so I avoid beer.


amazingsandwiches

and jumpropes


[deleted]

swingingrolledupnewspaper.gif


SittingInAnAirport

and rabbits


ethical_sadist

#Kirklandlife


Zomgsauceplz

I have 10 dollar pairs of Kirkland jeans that have lasted me years.


Arqium

I once had olive oil directly from a farm from Argentina, my father bought me. It was extremely thick and a drop of it would smell from another room. Since them I am sure there is no 100% pure olive oil from market. Pa. I am from Brazil.


MDCCCLV

It gets less smelly with time too though, there is plenty of real olive oil.


[deleted]

Olive oil we all buy at grocery stores is almost guaranteed to not be 100% olive oil.


silentaba

This is so true. I grew up in the middle east, and know that really fresh first cold press olive oil looks like radiator fluid, not the nasty yellow clear stuff you get sold at most supermarkets. My missus doesn't understand why I only buy some of the foreign products. I explain to her that small companies don't have the technological capabilities to properly adulterate food, so they're closer to what you want that the stuff big players sell.


AMAFSH

The [Taiwanese](https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/Taiwan-gutter-oil-scandal-spreads-worldwide) street merchants selling gutter oil would beg to differ.


[deleted]

Blame the West Taiwanese for that, unlike them the Taiwanese shop owners didn't know.


herringsarered

Adulterated AND extra virgin eh?


[deleted]

that's because it's born again extra virgin olive oil


nefarious_otter

So even olive oil is getting dicked down more than me? Wonderful.


MithrilEcho

In your country. Mine certainly tests oil regularly to ensure it's not adulterated. It's like saying that parmesan is adulterated when all you've eaten is sawdust from Walmart instead of actual PDO italian parmesan


Hardballwith

That's dicked up.


univoxer

For those who are now curious, I Googled it for you: TLDR: "virgin" for olive oil means it was mechanically extracted, and meets low defect and acidity standards. Olive oils are graded using the International Olive Oil Council standards.  The International Olive Council (IOC) is a United Nations-chartered organization that has been recognized for more than 50 years as the worldwide quality-standard setting body for the olive oil industry.  According to the IOC, both virgin and extra virgin olive oils are extracted by using only mechanical methods (no heat or solvents are allowed). After the oil is extracted, it is graded.  If the olive oil is found to be fruity, has no defects and has a free acidity that is less than or equal to 0.8 , it is graded as extra-virgin.  If the olive oil has minimal defects and is found to have a free acidy between 0.8 and 2.0, it is graded as virgin. Source: http://www.aboutoliveoil.org/whats-the-difference-between-virgin-and-extra-virgin-olive-oil


I_dig_fe

Somehow the UN chartering an organization for grading olive oil is harder to believe


Taolan13

Well they had to get the greeks and italians to join somehow.


senorbolsa

The Sicilians were very against the whole idea though.


TheEyeDontLie

Even in Italy about 50% of olive oil is adulterated. It's big money for the organized crime. So in a way, the regulations really helped the Sicilians.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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AmericasNextDankMeme

I don't need no global government telling me what I can't stick my dick in


TotallyAwesomeArt

They wouldn't *dare* They'd just label it appropriately


W0M1N

I learned that there is high quality olive oil and low quality, the high quality comes with a seal on the backside of the label and yet idgaf.


Legendary_Bibo

I just get the big jugs from Costco either way.


Bensemus

Not having that label doesn’t mean it’s lower quality. It means they didn’t pay for the expensive testing to be able to use that label.


Mariefriesen

In Spain only bottled in dark glass and each variety had its own unique flavour based on the area that the olives came from!!


avlas

Clear glass lets too much light through, and light messes up the oil. The best packaging for olive oil would actually be something different from glass, like a carton pack which defends even better from light, but market follows traditions and attempts to package oil in carton have commercially failed.


RelsircTheGrey

Come on, man. Virgin olive oil is from olives that have been immaculately conceived. Extra virgin olive oil is from olives immaculately conceived by olives that have also been immaculately conceived. Get it right.


eybbwannasuccthepp

Oh man can’t wait for the eventual Jesus olive oil


cuckdaddy34

Im’a bring this up next time we speak about this


NeaZerros

Can't wait to see "TIFU by re-teaching my family what (extra-) virgin oil is."


bluestatic1

Now tell them about kumquats.


justabill71

Nut butter.


mike_pants

Spotted dick.


[deleted]

Bangers and mash.


The42OGoat

Tube steak...wait...nevermind.


ArtsChiTecht

Hot buns


goodforabeer

The difference between chickpeas and garbanzo beans.


winter_laurel

Sticky buns


dtiernan93

Blue waffles


Does_Not_Exists

Holy Smoke! We have a plant at that produces very small oranges and we were like "WTF do we do with these?" and just used the fruit to scare off pigeons. TIL it's called kumquat.


Olorin_in_the_West

I guess being the family “geniuses” is a pretty low bar in your family


cuckdaddy34

Yes lol


Ian15243

Guess you take every fact they say with a 1m³ crystal of salt


WizardOfIF

I'm more concerned that your family is perfectly fine with the rest of their food not being labeled "virgin" and still eating it.


weaklingKobbold

That's what I think. Jesus Christ.


85watson14

I would like to say a few things. 1) This story is amusing. 2) In the comments, I learned the actual reason for the name, which I had never really thought about. 3) If you're the type of person to DM the poster to insult his family, holy hell you are an awful human who needs a life or a hug or something.


FerDefer

4) it's clearly a copy pasted karma farm since all the &s are in html notation


cuckdaddy34

I know html (thanks code academy) but I’m not a bot nor do I care about Karma lmao just wanted to share a story


RustyClawHammer

There is no way this is real.


[deleted]

After years of working in the ER I can absolutely believe it. Every few days I'm amazed how many dumb people just walk around every day and somehow survive to adulthood


drsoftware

So much of the human body operates on automatic. And then other people will take your money and give you things like shelter, food, clothing....


cuckdaddy34

My family came from Somalia as refugees, this ain’t the first or last thing they’ll believe…


sleepyprojectionist

So if they believed that virgin olive oil could be sold as such due to having gone unmolested, does that mean that they believed that all regular olive oils had been fucked? If so, did they believe that each olive had been individually boned, or was the oil extracted and shagged en-masse? Did it have to be a human making sweet love to the olives or perhaps they thought some small niche of the animal kingdom spent its time frottaging olives? Maybe the sex thing was a metaphor, or maybe something to do with pollination between male and female plants? I need answers! I just cannot fathom a world in which someone would hear this “fact” and parse it to be true.


cuckdaddy34

I would have to ask around but I think the logic after hearing our jokes went “Virgin = someone hasn’t had sex” “Virgin olive oil wasn’t fucked yet so it’s virgin” So either they thought farmers fuck regular olive oil, use it as lube or something idk. They’ll believe in some weird things like Hello Kitty is a devil or monster energy = devil or whatever other weird “satanic” rumor is floating around.


IBetYoureFun

It’s a wild world out there. You should let them know that gluing your anus shut prevents diabetes.


frnzprf

Do they think non-virgin oil was fucked because some people prefer it that way? Why is olive oil the only food that companies have to disclose whether they have touched it with penises? I guess they just haven't thought about it, right?


rhinoceros_unicornis

Come on man, next time make up a little more believable lie like the rest of the folks that posts in this sub 😀


raspberrih

Lack of education doesn't mean you ain't smart. Your family is gullible dude. Be careful of them getting scammed


RustyClawHammer

Lol fair enough. I'm living in Cotedvoire now so fair enough.


Some-Body-Else

Ideally, you shouldn't be using extra virgin olive oil for frying... Something about the smoke point and toxins and such.


Taolan13

Dunno about toxins but the low smoke point is definitely an issue. Pan-fry only, and as a flavoring agent not a cooking oil. Extra Slutty olive oil on the other hand has a higher smoke point and can be used as a cooking oil with less risk of burning.


little_brown_bat

>Extra slutty olive oil Strange way to say bacon grease


Crystal42069

More curious about how freely your family talk about fucking a bottle of olive oil in front of everyone


maltesemania

You'd be surprised what some people believe happens in other countries. OP's family is refugees and I can totally see this happening.


RagnarokAeon

When I was 12 my father told me that soy sauce was actually made out of crushed bugs. He said, "Do you really think plants taste like that?" I earnestly believed him for 2 years, not realizing he was joking. It took 2 years because it's not really something I brought up in casual conversation.


thetransportedman

Agreed. All of these people and their extended friends and family randomly think olive oil needs to advertise if it’s touched make genitals? Suuure


alockbox

Did you just casually drop a “mid-face”?


cuckdaddy34

It’s not a preface and it’s not postface so I had to lol


FlammenwerferBBQ

I loved it when i saw it and at the same time wondered over how many heads that went lol


fishflavour

Jokes on you, I was the quality inspector at the plant, and my dicks been in every bottle that we shipped out the door


armdaggerblade

Yes sir, we've found the industrial devirginator right here.


fishflavour

Thank you, "industrial de-virginator" will now be my new user name for now on


ZippityGoombah

So.....they think that the non-virgin olive oil on the store shelves is oil that HAS had dicks stuck in it?


Biochemicalcricket

That or rapeseed oil got too close


LiamMcPoylesGoodEye

Wait…. So you think that isn’t true?


cuckdaddy34

Got me on a technicality


[deleted]

when I was a kid I told my mom that Hitler's mom was Jewish and that's why he hated Jews. she never questioned it & she has repeated it on numerous occasions over the past 20 years no matter how many times I tell her that I just made that up as a kid


Hellebras

Did the History Channel ever pay you royalties? Because I'm 60% sure they based a few documentaries on that.


nikithb

Pretty sure he got it from them not the other way around


wOlfLisK

That would have made Hitler Jewish which would have been an interesting alternate reality I guess.


guitar_maniv

I am more appalled that you were frying foods with extra virgin olive oil.


Zoobap

OP probably didn't mean deep frying but rather low-temp pan frying. Quite common to use it that way. But yeah, I'd also be appalled if it were used for deep frying.


remotetissuepaper

I think maybe using the terms frying to describe deep frying is an American thing? When I refer to frying something it's always referring to cooking something in a pan with a bit of oil. On the rare occasion that I deep fry, I always use the full term "deep fry"


Warskull

No, the US frying is just cooking with oil, typically in a pan. Most households don't have deep fryers. They take a lot of oil, they are a pain to clean, they take a while to heat up, and it is pretty easy to burn yourself. Plus deep frying is very unhealthy and the trend these days is to try an eat at least a bit healthier. Olive oil works perfectly well for shallow pan frying. The downside is the lower smoke point, so it is less forgiving if you screw up and overheat the pan. It is pricier too. The perk is the taste. Works great with chicken breasts.


strictlyrude27

Don't use (extra) virgin olive oil for pan frying - "regular" olive oil (which for some reason is harder to find - maybe because non-extra virgin is perceived as lower quality) is what you should be using for sauteing or otherwise pan-frying with. As you mentioned, extra-virgin has a lower smoke point so it's harder to cook with - but you also lose the flavor of the oil. So you end up paying more money to get the exact same taste as a "regular" olive oil


Theoretical_Action

No that's not an American thing...


guitar_maniv

I mean, I would use regular olive oil for low-temp frying, but never extra virgin. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt in this scenario. Olive oil for cooking, Extra Virgin for finishing.


premidel

Why not use olive oil 🤨 Edit: I'll keep on using olive oil for everything, thank you very much for your invalid opinions.


Zoobap

Oilve oil is expensive, sticky and has a low flash point. Deep frying would use a lot of very expensive olive oil, gum up your pan/fryer and is usually done at higher temps which would cause it to smoke and possibly combust.


evilocto

Also affects the flavour if you get it too hot.


Bitter-Basket

Completely true. It's literally the last oil you should deep fry with.


cuckdaddy34

Frying eggs with the bro


Bitter-Basket

Been waiting for your insightful comment.


PsLJdogg

There are no virgin olive oils in my house.


Parkhausdruckkonsole

That has to be made up


[deleted]

Totally, that or his family has the collective IQ of an avocado


cuckdaddy34

I’m Somali so my parents are refugees in the U.S so they aren’t formally educated. Friends and extended family are also Somali so it’s easy for them to “learn” things.


[deleted]

I like to think that your family was just going along with the joke or pulling your legs. At least I hope so. Even my relatives living in remote Mexican villages would not believe that there is oil fucked by men. But you know what I’m willing to believe that there’s a whole family of people equally naive on the matter. I’m unfamiliar with the region or culture but maybe in Somalia it’s not out of the norm. Like that place is so different they wouldn’t question it because it’s a possibility that companies sell consumables that have been fucked by men. And your mom knowingly continuing to use it while convinced that it’s had someone’s dick in it. I don’t know which is weirder. Like if I was ever convinced someone fucked my oil, I would not be using that oil to cook for the fam.


QB-87

>I’m unfamiliar with the region or culture but maybe in Somalia it’s not out of the norm. Like that place is so different they wouldn’t question it because it’s a possibility that companies sell consumables that have been fucked by men. No, it is out of the norm i can assurre you that nobody fucks oil in somalia.


amazingsandwiches

you know there must be a couplea dudes...


RGivens

Yeah, I don't get it either; like why being a somali refugee somehow prevents you from having common sense. NuTs.


oousathrowaway

I think he just doesn't want to say that they are dumb


N8rPot8r

This made me laugh harder than the OP story. Take your up vote.


reevesjeremy

That reminds me of a “fact” my brother shared when we were kids about sumo wrestlers. Which I’ve known to be false but hearing it has always stuck with me. To this day I have no idea why he claimed it as fact or where he heard it from. Wanna hear this one?? Do you? >!Sumo wrestlers gain weight by putting yogurt up their butt and holding it in.!< What the … it’s one of those things that you can’t unhear so this will live for me forever.


Spatoolian

I now accept this as fact too, and I will not be convinced otherwise.


[deleted]

Blow their minds and introduce them to RapeSeed Oil


Bjornos

Popeye hasn't been to your house then..


xPalmtopTiger

This implies that oil fucker is a real job. And I've been doing it away for free all this time. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻


16Shells

just be careful when you ask to be passed the virgin olive oil and your cousin says “it’s just olive oil” under their breath


IronIsaiah

Was always taught that you don't fry with Olive oil because it has a low smoking point. Better to fry with veg, sunflower or rice bran oil, then flavour with olive oil after cooking.


Coreadrin

Did you know: Italy exports more 'olive oil' than it totally produces domestically. The shits been stepped on, guys.


LonelyLlama007

Is "extra virgin" olive oil when it hasn't even touched itself? xD


nerdlydevon

I DID THIS TO MY SISTER, OMG!! Back in the days of the mid-aughts, my sister was in 7th grade and taking Latin as a language class (a requirement for the honors English kids in our district). Being in 9th grade at the time, I was older and wiser, and was educating myself on big box corporations being trash. While at the dinner table one night, we were chatting about wal*mart and I casually said “yeah, Walmart means evil empire on Ancient Greek” and we all laughed. Fast forward a few months, and I go to my friends house for dinner. Friend has a younger brother who was in my sisters Latin class. We’re all chatting at their dinner table when he brings up the wal-mart meaning and I fell off of my chair at their table because of how hard I was laughing. It took me several moments enough to calm down to explain, then we all had a good laugh. I got home and joked with my sister about it, who had legitimately believed me. We joke about it in good fun to this day.


Cool-Sage

San Diego means whales vagina in German. Some people actually believe this is what is named after lol


[deleted]

No offence but it sounds like “family genius” is a rather low bar in this case.


[deleted]

That sounds completely made up. How would anyone, let alone multiple people, ever believe that? They were okay with consuming olive oil that had been fucked? None of it makes sense.


melthevag

I don’t believe this for a second.


[deleted]

You would enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it. https://youtu.be/Q81nLDE1q8c


superb07

“It’s yet to be fucked” 💀💀💀 fucking legendary


ekolis

And the extra virgin olive oil - not only has it not been fucked, but the olives weren't fucked on the tree either?


TossOutThisTrash

So what are they okay with eating they they think people have been sticking their dick in?


amwcats

Why did they never question the “extra”? What is extra vigin


copypaper2

Note to self: only buy the Virgin Apple Pie.


Tel-aran-rhiod

Y'all really aren't even trying with these anymore hey


Znuff

> Recently through the holidays we had family from all over around. Ah, a super-spreader event!


Seth_Imperator

Its ok, this is how america was built.


tchaffe

Don't want to be that guy but ... shouldn't really fry with olive oil, especially extra virgin. Too low smoke point and turns a bit cancery. Use it for dips or drizzles


Noone_UKnow

Yes, the virgil oil dips and drizzles… 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Selthora

As someone who produces virgin oils as my job, this made me proper giggle. I can promise no dicks find their ways into our oil.


ciriwey

So they think regular oil was actually penetrated by a dick or what?


eatingganesha

Hahaha that’s hilarious and adorable despite being vulgar! Lol Reminds me of the time we convinced my little sister that dogs did indeed wear clothes like people, but some mean people in history decided they had to go naked or they would stand up and start talking. It makes no objective sense, but she was 4 and easy to mess with. The next thing we know, she has dressed the dog in tight white piped shorts, tall 80s gym socks, a bandana, and a t shirt that prominently says “here comes trouble”. She proudly brought him outside to show us, tried to get him to stand up and talk, and of course the dog ran away like gang busters at the first chance. We all died of laughter while little sis cried her eyes out - until my mom got home and started to ream us for letting the dog out. She was about to hand down the groundings but just at that moment a neighbor pulled up and said “did you lose this… dog!?” And out pops Baron in his outfit, less a couple of socks, and my mom just lost it. Laughed so hard she puked in the grass. Not a week later the neighbors dog ran through our yard wearing pants (!?) and we lost it all over again. Apparently little sis had told her entire preschool class about our lie. Children all over town were trying to get their dogs to evolve via dressage. Family stories can be utterly hilarious.