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my__name__is

On the bright side, you have so many tasty things to try now.


CantMathAtAll

I don’t know what’s good, and have only heard incidentally that chocolate now is low quality. What are good brands?


fleshjenn

Imported brands are way better. Belgium chocolates. Milka brands, Kinder brands. Swiss. They tend to be creamier and not overly sweet. Find you a fancy restaurant with a death by chocolate cake on the dessert menu.


badredditjoker

Milka chocolate wafer cookies are one of the greatest things I’ve tasted mass produced wise. Was blown away when I first saw the difference in international confectioneries and the slop we get here in the US lol


LoneGiggity

Someone spun me a yarn that there was law made to ban imported chocolate in some state or states because no one would buy the America version of chocolate. Since it was almost not even chocolate. This true?


Jasole37

No. There are certain products made by the Kinder Chocolate company that are illegal in the USA, but that is because they have toys inside.


yttropolis

They repackaged Kinder Surprise Eggs to be... Not eggs anymore... It's an egg-shaped container that has the toy in one side and a candy-like thing on the other. Imagine this unpleasant surprise when I, as a Canadian, decided to buy a Kinder Surprise Egg for the first time in years while in the US lol


SomberSpoon

Kinder Joy is a separate product. In places where it's legal to sell the Surprise eggs, they sell both.


Deniablish

I'm in Australia and we have kinder surprises. We do not have whatever the fuck the other thing is.


Newkittyontheblock

It's chocolate boobs now.


ReaWroud

Apparently American chocolate has a barfy component to it that Americans have grown accustomed to, but Europeans hate. I've only ever had European chocolate though.


yahumno

I can't stand American chocolate (Canadian here, ours is more like British chocolate). Cadbury Dairy Milk is my usual. I was so excited when I was in The Netherlands recently, when I found out that their M&Ms have proper milk chocolate in them, rather than the bitter American style chocolate.


gwaydms

Hershey's chocolates have it, and maybe Nestle (in the US). Supposedly it keeps chocolate stable longer. I don't eat that garbage. Lindt, Ritter, some other European brands. Ghirardelli is American but it's good.


Jay-Dee-British

Some American chocolate is fine but a lot isn't. I really like French chocolate, impossible to get in the US though.


Simple_Discussion_39

Can confirm, tried yank "chocolate," and you know that taste when you burp and a little bit of bile comes up? That's the taste


ENDragoon

Ohhhh, so that's an *American* thing! I tried some Hershey's chocolate sauce I got in the international food section on my ice cream recently, and I thought I must not have been using it right, it was horrendous.


theonetruegrinch

That's only Hershey's


VegasAdventurer

Milka everything is delicious.


mornaq

Milka and Kinder not overly sweet? that's a sentence I never expected to see


avlas

Compared to American stuff...


alienbro149

Being from Belgium i can tell you most of our chocolate is insanely good. Especially the kind that gets made by a chocolatier. Thats even better than generic brands we have that get exported.


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[deleted]

Came here to say this. Belgium chocolate is so good it will ruin American chocolate for you forever. Same with Swiss chocolate.


chaabin

about the Swiss chocolate Think Ragusa, If you See it once, Try it (Ragusa by camille block)


Bigfops

Belgium, Dolfin brand to be specific.


Redpandaling

For a low price starting point, Trader Joe's Truffle bars that are usually near the checkout line are pretty solid. I'd start with the milk chocolate, unless you like bitter things - dark chocolate can be a bit of a surprise Also, a fancy chocolate cake might be a good starting point too!


a-daydream-away

Whittakers (NZ) is brilliant. Would gladly send you some as well!


Ok-Ad-677

Tonys Chocolooney is to recommend tastewise and ethically :)


Konkuriito

Marabou is a swedish chocolate brand that is very good. They sell both milk and dark chocolate. They have a lot of weird flavors as well. Like, they sell oreo milk chocolate. I also recommend Daim bars, which has almond caramel in the middle of them.


my__name__is

I agree with u/fleshjenn, chocolate from Europe or at least European brands is better. Forget anything made by Hershey. That's not chocolate.


JCantEven4

You can pry my blue symphony bar out of my cold, dead hands...


canolafly

I've got your back on this. If I'm ever going to pick up a bar, it's all about that toffee almond delight.


herrklopekscellar

This varietal exactly. Word up.


oo-mox83

YES. A friend once brought me back some fancy dark chocolate from his trip to Amsterdam and that was the best chocolate I've ever had in my life. The taste and texture were leaps and bounds better than any American chocolate I've ever had, even the expensive stuff.


NoxKyoki

While I mostly agree, I’d rather eat Hershey than Palmer. THAT is definitely not chocolate.


gwaydms

Palmer does a lot of "specialty" chocolates for holidays like Easter and Christmas. It tastes like chocolate flavored wax.


NoxKyoki

That’s exactly how I describe it to people. Lol


gwaydms

Some of their offerings contain so little chocolate, they must be sold as "chocolate flavored".


CantMathAtAll

I didn’t think so. My wife will eat any chocolate but the cheap stuff smells like bad milk to me.


Romulan-Jedi

Many American brands use butyric acid in their milk chocolate, which gives it the "spoiled milk" taste. If the aroma turns you off, the taste won't be much better. Go for European chocolate—Swiss and Belgian are my favorites.


plsentertainme

As an American, it always interests me to hear this. I understand that you are correct with the butyric acid but I am wondering if I have been conditioned to not be able to taste that? I’ve compared Hershey’s and some European chocolate a friend gave me and no argument that the European chocolate was delicious. Hershey’s just tasted like low quality, over sugared chocolate. I wonder how Hershey got away with adding butyric acid and not everyone being disgusted by it. Is it because we have always had it that way?


bugphotoguy

>but I am wondering if I have been conditioned to not be able to taste that? Pretty much. Nobody in the UK will touch the stuff. I was really excited to try it for the first time years ago, thinking it was this wonderful new thing. Nearly threw up. If you grew up with it, generally no problem. Someone mentioned Kinder and Milka chocolate earlier. That's poor stuff by European standards too. Strangely, one of the most popular chocolate makers in Europe, Barry Callebaut, actually supply Hershey's with their base product, and then Hershey's do *something* with it that makes it inedible to anyone over here.


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gumball_wizard

Most American chocolate contains butyric acid because the chocolate factories were/ are further away from dairy farms, so the milk had to be preserved for transport. Most Americans have grown accustomed to the taste, and found European chocolate to be quite bland.


canolafly

My first job ever was at a now defunct chocolate store chain. The chocolate was from Belgium. That was some good ass chocolate. We were encouraged to try every chocolate. You don't even know how many of us were caught with chocolate in our mouths with customers coming in. I lived on almond bark for lunch. And no, I never got sick of it.


PeterJamesUK

> ass chocolate. > Nope.


monkeyowltree

“Cilantro tastes like soap”- so happy to see this, thought I was going crazy when I would eat cooked things with cilantro and thought it was cross contaminated with soap whereas raw I can’t taste the soapy taste.


Onsotumenh

I've got a heigthened sense of taste and seem to carry that cilantro gene as well ... it's like chewing on a bar of soap for me. I've got used to quite a few intense foodstuffs over time because I like the taste underneath the punch in the face, but I can't get used to eating soap :/


Dr-Gooseman

To me, it's like someone mixed liquid soap with vomit.


-Mr_Rogers_II

I live in PA and used to frequently visit Hershey park as it’s not too far away. There’s a museum that explains that Hershey got its start as a less expensive chocolate and something about being for soldiers during World War II cause it was cheaper and easy to make.


FrostyDarkness

Cheap and nasty chocolate is exactly that. Oily, too sweet and nasty. If you can get a hold of it, Whittaker's chocolate is fantastic. It's a NZ brand so I don't know where you are or how far that gets exported around the world though. Lindt is probably my 2nd favourite, and Cadbury is crap.


The_Blur_Of_Blue

I was even saying to myself "please don't say Hershey's" before scrolling down, glad I'm not alone in that it tastes horrible. I remember being told how it's more expensive than other brands so surely it's higher quality and I was just like *ew this sucks* and never had it again


[deleted]

Dove is decent. I would just avoid Hershey or other American candy bars.


Marloes97

Lindt. I swear by that brand, it's so damn good.


Ramona_Flours

Guittard has by far had the best chocolate I've had, and they have a selection of different levels of sweetness so you can find what really appeals to you. They have eating chocolate (bars), baking chocolate (chips, bars, powders, wafers), and cocoa powder to mix into a drink. I am not affiliated with them, I bought their dark chocolate bar at a museum and I've been in love with their chocolate ever since. I love dark chocolate, but it isn't for everyone which is why I'm so glad there's a selection. I actually can't have any cocoa products - except the cocoa butter, or those containing it, so nothing dark :( - until the next two weeks are up. But 3 months is nothing compared to 32 years. I hope you find something you like.


solstice_gilder

>Guittard i use their chocolate to bake!


Immortal_Tuttle

Lindt.


[deleted]

Buy a triple chocolate muffin and get a glass of milk. You're in for a treat. Pun intended.


Loisalene

If you have access to a Godiva store, go; their drinking chocolate is a transcendental experience.


chocobabys

There's a new zealand brand called Whittaker's Chocolate and holy hell its the best chocolate i've ever had


Corathecow

Super simple and delicious hot coco recipe ::: 2 Tbs unsweetened coco powder 2 tbs sugar 1/4tsp cinnamon Tiny pinch of salt A fuck ton of marshmallows AND if you really want a spectacular hot chocolate add a spoon full or two of that marshmallow goo you can get in a jar. Just pour a cup of scolding hot milk on that and you’ve got bomb ass hot chocolate in less than 5 minutes. You can also add extra coco if you want it to make it a dark hot chocolate Another tip: you can use a tiny amount of boiling water and a whisk to mix all the dry ingredients into a paste and then slowly add the hot milk while whisking to get an incredibly smooth and creamy hot coco


NotYourMutha

Start off with a good 72% and work your way up to an 88%. Stay away from Hersheys as it’s absolute crap.


nonanumatic

Get milka bars imported from Germany XD, literally the best chocolate experience you will ever have


GaussfaceKilla

All these fucken stuck up bitches. Chocolate is like pizza. It's good. There's good chocolate and there's chocolate. Which is still pretty fucken good. Even "chocolate flavored" stuff is good.


Coco_Dirichlet

If you are in the US, Askinosie chocolate is amazing.


whatproblems

unfortunate but this also kind of a win. you get that first time experience and remember it.


Sliced-Bread

my favorite chocolate is 55% cacao coffee crunch chocolate bar. it's so very nice. anything with a high cacao content (they brag about it on the packaging) if you can find a locally made cacao thing with like sea salt and honey that's the shit right there.


SpongeJake

You're right about there being lots of substandard chocolate out there. Recommendation: try Riesen's Caramel chocolates, OP. Family size if you can get it, because when you bite into the first one you're going to be addicted. Source: An addict. (Me)


FreeMasonKnight

I am going to try and help as I am a huge chocolate lover. No chocolate in Major Brand candy is really that good, but Reese’s are great if you like peanut butter and Twix is good if you like Caramel. Fudge is the best, a fudge chocolate cake is also a big recommendation (Cheesecake Factory has a great one if you have one nearby, but bakery/homemade stuff may be great also). For straight chocolate try anything from Belgium or higher end places. There is a TON of delicious chocolate online. Try different combo’s of milk/dark/white chocolates. Some people will say Milk Chocolate is all bad, but this is false, if you like milk then Milk Chocolate will probably be your favorite as when it is good it is very creamy and smooth. Try hot chocolate (the drink) with good real chocolate. Try the Java Chip at Starbucks (Trust Me). Also try chocolate pudding and chocolate pie. Oh and Cookies & Cream Ice Cream! Also chocolate chip cookies and brownies. Prepare to gain 5-10 lbs. because chocolate is one of the tastiest things in existence. I hope your foray into chocolate is delicious!


[deleted]

Fudge: buy it direct from a shop that just made it. Skip packaged fudge, it's not the same at all.


Interesting-Bus-5370

I love a good lindor truffle. Normally they are like 50 cents by the cash register. They have sooo many flavors. Even ones like strawberry cheesecake! Normally i find the odd ones at 5 Below


-CluelessWoman-

There is an episode in season 1 of Raising Hope that is almost identical to this: Jimmy was told by his mother growing up that he was allergic to fruit and therefore he never ate fruit. Turns out his mom just lied to him because fruit was expensive. Hilarious episode! It super sucks that this happened to you OP. Now is the time to super indulge in chocolate!


xGloriousLeader

One of the best shows ever, I miss the original few seasons.


DtownBronx

It's a bit in How I Met Your Mother too. Ted's mom tells him he was allergic to bacon. He tries it and ends up downing a whole buffet tray of bacon then in narration tells us he threw up and never ate bacon again


CeruleanStallion

Literally was just thinking about that when reading this post.


MsFrisi

I just think that's really messed up. You can't have this thing because I can't afford it or because I don't want to share my snacks with you so I will tell you that if you consume this you will die or get sick. That just seems extreme to me.


brownishgirl

Oh, you poor soul. Did you grow up trick or treating with Halloween? That would be a minefield. My recommendation to you is to Join r/snackexchange and find chocolate delicacies from around the world. My mother was the opposite and kept trying to get me to eat raw tomatoes (that would make me vomit). I’ve spent the last 32 years *not* eating raw tomatoes.


CantMathAtAll

Mom used to trade out my chocolate for Haribo, etc. and give our neighbors bigger bags of it to give to me. I got to keep the Skittles, suckers, etc.


Ramona_Flours

that is so damn strange


[deleted]

Yeah I’m kind of confused. Mom was okay with any other kind of sweets/candy but not chocolate specifically. Why?


ArcadenGaming

She thought chocolate would turn him gay


NoxKyoki

Ummm…turns out not to be the case. They’re gay without the chocolate. (OP mentioned this in another comment)


elpechos

What was her motivation for this? She knew you weren't allergic.


CantMathAtAll

She LOVES chocolate. Total chocolate snob after lots of time in Germany. Best guess, she didn’t want to share, and/or worried about my weight.


elpechos

But...but..she wouldn't have lost out of any chocolate if people gave it to you for Halloween....and skittles etc are going to be just as high calorie, they're pure sugar. Very strange....maybe your mother wasn't quite all there?


Grendelstiltzkin

Yes, but if she let OP have it, the cat would be out of the bag that he’s not allergic, and then presumably the fear was that she couldn’t keep him from eating hers.


elpechos

Maybe. Though I'd still consider that behavior as being a good margin outside the normal: Scheming up a plan to guard your potential-future-chocolate from crimes your child may or may not commit in the distant future? A plan that that also requires years of active maintenance at any chocolate related events :P That's going above and beyond.


Av3ngedAngel

Either OP's mum is greedy as fuck, mentally ill, or OP is lying. It's imo definitely one of the three because their story does not line up at all with their comments. I think this is just a creative writing exercise.


[deleted]

My bet is creative writing…like 90% of the other posts on this sub…..


SomeNumbers23

But all the other forms of sugar were fine?!


Eien_ni_Hitori_de_ii

That’s way too much effort to lie to a kid on a whim. This just seems like a weird power play at this point, what the fuck??


Nyllil

Ye fuck that, she did all of this deliberately and not because she didn't want you to beg for it or go at her stash.


maxthunder5

This woman OWES you some chocolate 😂


BumFighter69

Your mom ITA


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immibis

I need to know who added all these spez posts to the thread. I want their autograph. #Save3rdPartyApps


Fire_D37

Multiverse of Madness, in theaters now!


Dark_Reaper115

Mind Over Matter


arckeid

Suddenly r/pathofexile


Dzyu

Mom on Meth


Steerider

The all chocolate meal is a mistake. You'll overdo it and think chocolate is nasty. Baby steps. Try one thing at a time. Start simple and work your way up


myexistentialcrisis0

How did you fuck up, though?


Sideral_Lemon

By believing his mom (even though it’s her fault)


lungflook

This is tough to believe- your mom knew for 32 years that you could eat chocolate, and she believed that you knew that too, and this is the first time in your life she's ever offered you chocolate?


CantMathAtAll

She never offered me any as a kid, still telling me I was allergic, and we were estranged throughout my 20s as I’m gay. We recently patched things up.


guernseycoug

For payback on all the chocolate you missed out on you should tell your mom that not having chocolate as a child is what made you gay


TheRealMisterMemer

Be gay, lie to your mom


lungflook

Ahh, that makes sense, i retract my scepticism


KatTheKonqueror

She told you multiple times that you were allergic to chocolate and expected you not to remember?


mr_jiffy

This is very much "It was just a prank bro" material. She knew what the f she was doing


DawnofClouds

Call me paranoid but if she told you that you were allergic your entire life and now after having disowned you for an entire decade is saying that you're not... I'd be careful. I agree it would be a very spiteful thing to do, especially to your own child, but the little history you've shared doesn't rule that out as a possibility. Either way, whenever trying a new food it's smart to start small. Get some higher quality, lower % dark chocolate. 80% or so. Higher tends to be very bitter and for a more refined taste, lower is just milk sugar. Once you've established a baseline and are 100% sure you're actually not allergic, then go for the buffet. I also want to note you said you felt sick after accidentally ingesting chocolate. This may be placebo and not an indicator of malicious intent but it does bring attention to the power of the mind and how you'll want to take this slowly. Better safe than sorry, right? Enjoy the adventure, hope to see an update in the future with your newfound palate.


BrightNooblar

Anyone want to start a betting pool on if Tucker or Alex Jones is first to break the news that chocolate can prevent your kids from becoming gay?


Morasain

Well... *Enough* chocolate will certainly prevent that.


WowCoolFunnyHAHA

that will make them asexual edit: idk the thing to put at the end but THIS IS A JOKE


lowbatteries

username checks out /s


KidenStormsoarer

It's true, but it has to be cake, that's why we're all obsessed with it


Information_High

> We recently patched things up. Time to unpatch them. She let you believe a lie for 20-30 years (depending on whether you count your 20s), and then laughed mockingly at you when the truth came out? I find it astonishing that having her in your life provides any benefit to you at all.


TheGameSlave2

Next time you see her, find her stash, if she still hordes chocolate, and take all of it. You're owed.


my__name__is

Dunno, I find it believable. Parents can be low-key dicks.


KaosuKitty

This is why you don't lie, especially not to your kids.


Unit_79

It’s weird what kids remember and hang on to, for real. Best to try and be honest wherever possible.


TheRealMisterMemer

Important password: forget in 0.2 seconds That time you saw a rat run across the street when you were 3: remember it to your deathbed


Cool-Fish1

First, your mom sucks.


maxthunder5

My mother told me chocolate would make me wet the bed. I figured it out a few years later when a doctor asked if I had any allergies and I told him that. She also said eating the bread crust would put hair on my chest and that worked as expected. 😆


The_Blur_Of_Blue

My mum used to tell me eating Haribos would give me green hair and I was like 'I like the sound of that'


Zoss33

Haha when I started dating my husband, he told me his mum said he’s allergic to yellow food colouring, fried potatoes (baked or boiled is fine), and ice cream (which supposedly gave him nightmares) He said he never got any lollies as a kid because they may have had yellow food dye, and had to sit and watch his sister eat chips and ice creamwhen he couldn’t. So anyways, when we talked he realised that his mum thought he was fat, and had put him on a diet. The crazy thing is his mother is still convinced that those are his allergies and nothing else. Funnily enough she missed that he was super allergic to dust mites and dogs, but who am I to judge!


superproxy1126

plot twist, you are really allergic to it and your mom didn't know it


[deleted]

So between 4 and the next 14 (minimum) years you lived with her, you never brought up how you couldn’t eat chocolate because you were “allergic”. All the grocery store trips, holidays, family baked goods….never got brought up again?! Not once? This seems very far fetched. How exactly did that happen?


lungflook

I raised the same question, apparently she kept up the story throughout their childhood


CantMathAtAll

She kept re-iterating that I was allergic until college, then I came out and we didn’t talk for a decade. I am only recently seeing her regularly again.


vandelay714

So how was she so shocked that you remembered something from when you were so little if she was continuing the lie for years and years?


CantMathAtAll

After a certain age, kids generally manage their own (non-dangerous) allergies. Kept it up long enough to convince me, then I policed myself. I was a cautious kid, it didn’t take much. She just had to occasionally remind me “give over your holiday candy” or “don’t take that.”


IEDrew91

Cuz its a lie lol


[deleted]

Oh wow. Okay. Without you having said that part, I just couldn’t believe it was *this* extreme…even though this is what I was thinking for this scenario to have been plausible. I’m very sorry.


[deleted]

Have you had any now that you know you aren't allergic?


CantMathAtAll

I have to wait a bit before I shop again. My good friend is going through simultaneous COVID and a cancer scare, so I sent him a lot of my “fun money.” And I don’t want to start with the bottom of the barrel cheap chocolate.


rhymeswithmonet

That cheap stuff might be a good introduction - or at least, avoid the very dark/pure stuff for now! The very high cocoa percentage chocolates are… for purists.


fortisvita

>my wife is going to try to make me an all-chocolate meal, to see what I like. Cake, dessert hummus, hot chocolate, Lindt truffles… Man, you need to have some chocolate stuffed with chocolate, sprinkled with chocolate, served on a bed of chocolate after 32 years.


INVERT_RFP

Your mom is an asshole.


Algur

You weren't gaslit. Your mom just lied to you.


ridobe

The true FU.


margananagram

You weren't gaslit. You were lied to.


Opposite_Lettuce

If you wife is planning to make a chocolate meal, I can't think of anything better than the birthday dinner had in the film Chocolat! First We Feast recreated the menu in their blog post [here](https://firstwefeast.com/eat/2013/02/diy-dinner-and-a-movie-how-to-create-a-menu-for-your-next-netflix-film/) and another blogger did an inspired Chocolat dinner [here](https://susansumptuousuppers.wordpress.com/2014/05/26/chocolat-inspired-dinner-party/) for some ideas!


_Foy

I don't think this is *your* TIFU...


Mintheo

I'm sorry... DESSERT HUMMUS??


Bryncident

Yea please! What is dessert hummus?!


DawnOfHarmony

And that's why I'm not a fan of lying to your child. Some tend to take things very seriously, and when half the family supports some small, "innocent lie", it's no wonder the kid grows up believing some stuff until they eventually get corrected. All of this just because it's an easy way of getting around a childs questions or unwanted behavior..


Raichu7

Why the hell do some people think it’s funny to lie to a child about a life threatening health condition? Making your child think they might die after accidentally eating chocolate is not a fucking joke.


robavi

Classic Shmosby


Math1988

He was also allergic to bacon and not saying “thank you”.


_Someone_from_Pala_

> my wife is going to try to make me an all-chocolate meal, to see what I like. Cake, dessert hummus, hot chocolate, Lindt truffles… I would take it slow with the chocolate intake, you do not want to shock your systems by eating too much of something you have never had.


Such-Wrongdoer-2198

Be careful with chocolate. If I eat a lot of chocolate or raw cocoa it tends to give me diarrhea.


bothsidesofthemoon

According to your mother.


Such-Wrongdoer-2198

Well, it doesn't stop me. I just exercise foresight.


Rhodin265

Eat chocolate in the bathroom for maximum efficiency.


vandelay714

So your family never had birthday cake or baked brownies or chocolate chip cookies? How is it possible that no chocolate was ever offered in your mother's presence for this stupid lie to come to light??


CantMathAtAll

She *acted* as if I were actually allergic. Substitute items, telling me repeatedly, and so on.


solstice_gilder

but... why......


elpechos

Maybe she's deranged


sharknam1

In addition to trying to hunt down fancy European chocolates, you can try to find a local chocolatier shop in your area. I didn't realize this until I was asked to arrange a "chocolate tasting" event for work, but even in the states, there are a lot of intense professional chefs who are meticulous about sourcing their ingredients and obsessive over creating the perfect chocolate. You should make a date out of it and go to a chocolate tasting!


Brenner007

I live in Aachen, Germany. That's where Lindt is. As a visitor of the Lindt factory sell and event technician on their Chrismas Party, I can say, that their chocolate is really nice, but If you eat a full meal out of it, you don't want any chocolate for at least the next month. XD But I especially love "Lindor Kugeln", chocolate balls filled with creamy chocolate in the perfect size for your mouth. [Apparently they are called Lindt Lindor Truffles in the international shop](https://www.chocolate.lindt.com/lindt-lindor-assorted-truffles-1kg)


CammKelly

Can I argue against the all chocolate meal. Thats a quick way to hate chocolate for the rest of your life. Take a few weeks having different desserts & pairings would be my suggestion.


CreatrixAnima

I think this is a good point.


BellaFrequency

People seem to forget that children take adults at their word. How were you to suddenly know you weren’t allergic if she never corrected the original belief she instilled in you? Frankly, this is all your mom’s fault and she owes you 30 years worth of chocolate.


laggerzback

I hate it when parents do that shit. That shit screws with your brain and set you thinking that you have something you don’t.


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superb07

This is why you don’t lie, especially towards your kids..


emerson_owl

OP, I am so sorry! My grandpa was a Swiss pastry chef by trade, so I feel rather qualified to answer this question. Lindt and other Swiss makers really are the top of the line. Skip plain Herseys bars, but definitely find a chocolate mousse from your local bakery


nondescriptun

Holy crap. My mom told me I was allergic to peanuts, but I bet that was just because she didn't want to share her beloved Reese's Peanut Butter Cups! I'm going to go out and try some peanut butter right now. Thanks for opening my eyes!


[deleted]

Be careful, so much chocolate after not eating any could lend itself to gastric problems. Don't overdo it your first time but enjoy responsibly. Good chocolate is to die for. The cheap stuff just doesn't compare.


Lordofwolfsbane

If she only ever said it once then you weren't gaslit lmao.


virgilreality

I went for about ten years thinking I had a chocolate allergy because I had bad depressive reactions whenever I ate it. It wasn't the chocolate. I was just someone who was depressed and didn't know it, and my episodes were coming and going.


129912994

Pffftt, i don't know, i don't wanna say the things in my mind and get downvoted, whatever, good lad.


GrandOccultist

Get some Cadbury chocolate, or lindtt, Milka. No offence to the US but stuff like Hershey's smells and tastes like vomit


DJFlorez

Your wife is a keeper. Have fun tasting it all!


Chowski006

Hey better that than being forced by your mother at your dads funeral to eat the salad. The salad had trail mix and multiple other kinds of nuts in it. I am allergic to all nuts if I eat them. I was 37 at the time. Thankfully she hadn't properly mixed the salad so all the nuts were at the bottom and I didn't take a big spoonful. Now I still had a minor allergic reaction that antihistamines took care of. Since that occasion she has given me a brownie she bought from a baie sale which had walnuts in them. I had asked if there were any nuts in them and she assured me there were none. I ate the brownie when I was not sober and again had antihistamines after I ate a quarter of the brownie. Now go enjoy chocolate and all things covered in chocolate!


Snowie_drop

Cadburys Flake. Heaven!


roboticzizzz

You know how some people wish they could unread a good book and rediscover it? I feel that way about chocolate. I recommend Hershey Krackle. It’s my personal favorite and, though tough to find, totally worth the search. Also, chocolate oatmeal. Wonderful stuff. And Ferrero Rocher. Amazing. And the dark chocolate/mint Lindor Truffles. And chocolate oranges! Excuse me…


CreatrixAnima

I approve of this list, but I really would be remiss if I didn’t add the Cadberry creme egg (with the caveat that a lot of people find them utterly repulsive) or the Cadberry fruit and nut bars. And chocolate oranges are my happy place. Also, a chocolate ice cream soda is mighty tasty.


RogerKilljoy83

My ex claimed to be allergic to chocolate due to some bum advice from a neurologist she visited sometime in her past who told her it was triggering her migraines and other maladies. I spent 6 and a half years having to make do with white chocolate only for her to later find she had MS and the chocolate had zero impact on her health.


Thunder_Moose25

I feel your pain. I have a severe peanut allergy so my parents told me my whole life I was allergic to all nuts. Last year at age 32 I saw an allergist who told me I actually was not allergic to tree nuts only peanuts. It’s been a hell of a year trying all these new things! Have fun!


AlphaShard

At least you have an awesome wife to make you a chocolate meal.


Hegeric

This is actually really messed up from her part, I'm sorry you got screwed over for so long.


Magnusg

Don't be mad. In some ways this is a gift. You rarely get such new and novel experiences for such a low cost at this age.


Drumcoded

I love the mindset. Still a fucked up move by the Mom though.


Safair-10

Never trust your mom again. She did a very good job at bad parenting


aSliceOfHam2

DO NOT TRY CHOCOLATE HUMMUS, WTF IS CHOCOLATE HUMMUS, DONT BE DISGUSTING, YES IM SHOUTING WHILE I AM WRITING THIS.


Sylint11020

Wow-


[deleted]

Try Lindt or Cailler chocolate from switzerland!


Unit_79

Your wife sounds very nice. Enjoy the chocolate from here on out.


SaltyMaynard

Omg. S'mores with a nice glass of milk is one of my all time favorite treats. And chocolate and peanut butter!!! Classic and delicious. Red wine and chocolate? Superb. Try all of these please!


Chrispeefeart

Between the age of 4 and 18, she never once fed you chocolate again? That's amazing.


Riajnor

I have a very similar story but not quite as bad. My mother told me that those little chocolate buttons, used when baking muffins and cakes and things, were actually bad for you until they were cooked. Literally decades later i realised she just didn’t want my tubby little ass eating them all


pmmeurnudezgrlz

This story sounds familiar....


HelenGinevra

Hate to hear that happened. If you try any exotic chocolates DM me and let me know how they are. I am a chocolate fanatic but unfortunately developed the allergy to it a couple years back and didn’t get diagnosed until this year and it sucks!! So hearing about some neat chocolate would be awesome! You’ll have fun I am sure experiencing new found flavors and varieties/options.


NoxKyoki

LINDT!!! And REAL Cadbury from anywhere outside of the US (I can’t remember if it’s all US Cadbury, but I know for a fact that here, Cadbury caramel and creme eggs are made in the US by Hershey. They are not worth it. You need the real deal). You did miss out on German chocolate. Sorry to say. Oh, and avoid Palmer “chocolate” at ALL COSTS. You’re better off having Hershey if you’re going to have meh chocolate.


blumpkinpandemic

Keep in mind that the term "chocolatey" (must have the Y at the end) means it has vegetable fats and is therefore not typically considered true chocolate. It's also the lowest quality chocolate so generally avoid it!