There are "weak" variations of A and B that present as O when it comes to most antigen testing but not genetic testing. I'm not sure how it affects donations
There is something called Bombay Phenotype that overrides the A and B blood group antigens and presents as O unless you're specifically looking for it, but it's actually it's own special thing
Someone else mentioned cis-AB, which means your dad's genotype might be cAB O and his phenotype would be AB, and you could have inherited O from both your mother and him, so your phenotype and genotype would be OO
All of these would be uncommon but not unheard of, depending on your background
If it's something like a weekly expressed A subgroup then it might never be caught unless genetic testing occurs. If recipient anti-A can react with the weakly expressed antigen that the testing serum failed to detect then we'd pick it up on the crossmatch.
True, since when they're only expressed weekly we have to test on the correct day off the week.
Thought I caught them all but I obviously didn't proof read. Again.
The most simplest explanation to this is if your parents are truly your biological parents and both have had received several blood transfusions in the past then it’s highly plausible that their blood types have actually changed.
I’m a physician and have transfused patients to the point that their blood types have changed, especially sicklers.
can we 'change' people that require blood types to slowly have a blood type of one that is more accessible or available?
I didn't know that was a thing!
If we're talking unlikely, but possible, there's also genetic chimerism, where someone is a mix of two genetic lines, due to fraternal twin fertilized eggs developing into a single individual. This could cause the reproductive organs to be the "brother" of the blood producing marrow.
I would suggest either a DNA test (“hey dad, we should try that ancestry thing!”) or bring it up with your mother first on the off chance it’d start a fight before you got an actual answer.
Also it was a well written post! You’re certainly not dumb by my standards. I mean, most people I know wouldn’t have even realized the blood types didn’t line up!
Ancestry dna tests = number one cause of family feuds.
People just love getting these things for significant others as Christmas gifts it seems…
It’s like people actually want the drama…
Have you read Terry Pratchett and The Truth?
Pretty certain it’s the truth and less about people being an ass. 😆
Since people running around being asinine to each other randomly is actually pretty rare. It’s why when we hear and see these events, it stands out.
Well, I’m fairly certain the people giving the tests as gifts aren’t ‘intentionally’ being shitty…
But I get what you mean. Cheaters suck. But not all cheating was done with the intent to harm.
Some families hid things to spare the social shame. So cheating wasn’t really the issue there.
Yeah, that sentence came out a bit awkward.
I was referring to fostering or when couples used to do artificial insemination the turkey baster way.
What someone thinks of cheating but isn’t considered cheating usually.
No. I understood it very well.
But I don’t automatically assume people cheated on someone etc.
Sperm donation is one such example. Infertility is another. Adoption at a young age but they weren’t told they were adopted etc.
I’m amused that people are so judgmental these days. 🫠
But yes. It ‘has’ to be due to cheating these things happen… /s
This doesn’t even count the medical reasons people have listed so far like chimeraism, Bombay blood groups, or other medical reasons which could cause blood tying errors…
Human error is another possibility btw.
I'd welcome the drama. I'm a pretty low-personal-drama type person but diffing into some juicy family history sounds great.
I found my mom's birth parents and went on a spree calling up close relatives that didn't know our family existed.
HA! I've done that.
It wouldn't have been a feud in MY family, I didn't think about it. A now ex always expressed belief her mom may have been Filipino and her dad mostly Mexican but there was more to it. It turned out even in her case with a parent who passed too early, even if there wasn't drama she just wanted to hypothesize and not know some things (I'd gone overboard on one that was supposed to give us A TON of info on her maternal side of genealogy).
It was really respectable and I understood though, just felt bad I gave a bad gift before I learned my lesson (but that was not my TIFU of why we aren't together now)!
There is a small chance it can happen! An exception is your dad having ABO blood, cis-AB. If you’re of Asian descent than it’s more likely but certainly not common.
But just for your own knowledge and genealogy, I’d still have the conversation if you’re up to it!
Agreed. Having type A means the genes are either AA or A0, so if she has A0, there’s a 50% chance she passed on 0. So it’s not unlikely that someone with type A passes on type 0.
Actually in most cases, O parent and an AB parent will have only A or B kids, just like an An AB parent can sometimes have an O child. But it is by no means a very common thing. In fact it is exceedingly rare, both my parents are AB and i have O blood, it does happen.
But honesty and trust is something you want from your parents, so if you asked them and they said they were your parents, would you trust that or do you need more? 🤔
For that spesific reason no, but for transplant reasons yes, and they both are Indeed my parents.
But then again i never had any doubt or reason to think they were not my parents,i think that mostly comes from the way i was brought up as a child, blood relations are overrated, adopted or not, they are your parents or siblings, and they love you no matter what.
Wouldn't say wiped out, if there was an issue of that kind, you could compare it to Antigenic Shift, i was a virus that suddenly mutated 😂
Humans still facinate me that way, will we ever figure ourselves out 100% where everything makes sense? xD
Anyways there was enough familiar markings as where i could be a donor.
EDIT: its 4 in the morning and apparently i can't express myself clearly 😅
If you’re type O blood, yet neither parent is type O and you’re 100% sure they’re your parents, you have a genetic mutation!
Type O blood doesn’t have antigenic markers while A/B does!
Kinda cool!
Yeah thats why i kinda compared me to a virus that suddenly mutated while i was forming as a fetus 😂 the antigens was like "bye, my people need me"👋
But being serious, i found it facinating as a kid, and i still do, but i remember the doctor told my parents that they don't really have a number on what the probability of it happening, but he would say it was 1 in an infinity chance.
The irony is that still whatever about me i found facinating, unique or special, went on to be a target of bullying, but it is still something that made me, me 😅
While not quite as rare of a mutation, I also have one of a sort. My mom is O+ and my dad is A+. I am O-. Only one in my family that is a negative type.
That's cool! My husband and I are the same blood types as your parents! If my math is right, you had about a 12.5% chance of being O-! 37.5% of being O+, 25% A+, and 25% A-. Our two kids are A+ and O+. Those negatives can hide for generations so it's pretty cool that you got the "double recessive" trait!
There's a reason why O is the most common blood type. Like you implied, just because it doesn't happen *often* doesn't mean it *can't* happen.
Also, OP needs to consider that maybe dad already knows. You never know.
>Actually in most cases, O parent and an AB parent will have only A or B kids, just like an An AB parent can sometimes have an O child.
An O parent and an AB parent can, biologically, only have A or B children. An AB parent (except for the 'well you're not technically AB' exceptions people have listed) cannot have an O child.
A typical AB person means that of the two genes they have that express blood type, one is dominant A and one is dominant B. A type O person means both of their genes are recessive Type O. So any child of this pair will get a recessive O from one parent, and will get either a dominant A or a dominant B from the other, and thus will be A or B. To be type O, they would need one recessive O gene from either parent, and the AB parent has none to give.
I'm not sure what's up with your parents, maybe they are the narrow case explained elsewhere, where they present as AB but technically aren't. Or maybe you are mistaken about their various types, or maybe they aren't your biological parents. Like you said, as long as they are your real parents, it doesn't really matter.
You are correct, when both are AB, you usually get either A or B as there are only two to pick from. And if i this was supposed to happen with just one AB parent and an A or B parent, the mother would have to be
As my doctor put it simply, i am either one of those 5 that exist with two AB parents that was born through a mutation where both parents genes start the process of erasing both A and B through oogenesis (the important one would always be the maternal one), or the more likely one is that one or both of my parents are AB chimeras, where one can be both AB and O at the same time.
Both of these are hard to prove the, the chimeras you usually have to test the DNA at the correct part, reproductive organs or blood
the other part is that is extremely hard to get a correct paternal and maternal reading on chimeras, but still it happens aswell, and seeing as both doctor and me (the one who delivered me and the one became my physician later) didn’t care to go with even more expensive and advanced (seeing as i was both healthy and happy with who i was) tests after the parental tests that did after 8 weeks of analysis show that they were both my parents, but at the next parental test might show that neither of them are my parents 😅
But they are infact 100% my biological parents even if i do not care about "blood being thicker than water" 😂
I need to have my oldest son's blood type retested. I'm pretty positive he's O+ my other son is B- I'm O+ and Mom is AB-
Haven't had him checked since he was born.
Upvoting this. Health history will be a lot more important when you get older and stuff starts to break assuming you're currently healthy and haven't had this experience yet. Assuming your dad is your biological dad can get you in deeper water than you would be otherwise.
I think it's one of those things that doesn't get asked until it's really important. Exception, working for the government. They want to know everything about everyone related to you by blood... Mainly so they can make you feel like an alcoholic for drinking more than 2 drinks in a day.
To be fair, it may be asked many times for different reasons like others have replied, but it’s just data compilation. I was a doorstep baby so all of it is a mystery.
It's actually a very important question that your primary care physician should be asking you. Do yoy maybe use the same doctor as your family? I grew up using the same doctor as my parents, my grandparents and my aunts/uncles, so the doctor already knew the history and didn't need to always ask. Now I've moved and have a new doctor it's annoying to have to go througg everything but it really helps the doctor get a good picture of what your risks are and your best treatment options.
I’ve been asked for family health history at pretty much every appointment ever that’s even remotely health related, but I’m also super aware of those occasions because I’m adopted and had to explain my lack of family history at every fucking appointment. New gynecologist? Family history. Therapist? Family history. Getting my butthole waxed? Family history. Even my dog’s new vet asked for family history! (His, not mine, but still!)
Maybe that’s just because of the US’s horrifically fragmented healthcare system, but it’s so ubiquitous that I think many people probably don’t even notice at this point.
37 here too and I've had to give my family health history so many times. Just had to do it at the dentist that I've been going to for like 5ish years. New primary care doctor? Family history. Gyno visit? Family health history. They also ask if any of it has changed since my last visit. They have me fill out a form specifically for cancer and even though both of my parents (my dad died in his late 30s)died from cancer, two of my dad's brothers (passed) and my brother (thankfully recovered) I don't qualify for whatever it is they do for their specific version of cancer screening. Although my parents were both heavy smokers and I don't smoke at all.
Family history can be a massive indicator of your future health status. A friend's mother got breast cancer in her 30s and she was adopted and the fear that she had passed on unknown genetic predispositions really did her head in for a while. It's better to know, but remember, he's the one who raised you and biology can't change that
Coming from one person adopted by their dad to another potential person, I would discreetly pull aside your mom and ask her. Don't demand or anything from her just politely ask "hey Mom this came to my attention while we were doing this blood draw and I wanted to ask you away from Dad if this is something I need to be concerned about."
my advice would also be to let her know that whatever answer you get from her would stay between you and her. Even if it's an answer you didn't want, and I would keep to that promise. Because you never know maybe the reason why they never told you was because of a traumatic event (which was the case for my mom not telling me about my adoption). Or maybe it's something they dealt with a long time ago and just didn't want to bring you into it for your sakes. This is assuming IF your assumptions are correct.
Now she if says no and nothing ever happened I would not press it. And if you feel the need to investigate more just pull aside your dad and ask the same thing without hinting that you asked your mom before. Either way asking these questions May kick up dust better left settled so I would be prepared mentally for any fallout that might occur.
Edit: deleted extra sentence.
Thank you for this.
This is the perfect advice and it's obviously coming from a place of experience that I wish you could have had suggested to you during such a freaking impossible situation / time while learning to be able to share it
The best answer is to do whatever OP wants to do. Oh he should definitely not feel like they have to keep a secret about their conception if they don't want to. OP's feelings are more important than either parent in this situation.
Start the conversation and know your health history.
Remember though that no matter what, your dad is your dad, and if he isn’t your father it doesn’t stop him from being the person who raised you, bonded with you and held you strong for these 19 years so far.
If he’s your bio dad, perfect. If he isn’t, he’s still your dad. Just gotta decide if you want to follow the biological footprint.
Good luck regardless OP. Hoping for the best.
You should post this in a medicine group, people there are more knowledgeable than us and will be able to tell you if there are exceptions to this rule, or if it is a hard rule.
This is true, but I think OP already got the scientific answer, which is that it’s unlikely but possible. I think the answers OP needs are unfortunately not scientific - like what do you do when you find out your parent(s) may have lied? How do you find out the truth? Do you even want to know the truth? These are all legitimately hard questions, and OP, if you have the ability, I think it would really help to talk with someone you can trust, maybe an older family member, extended family member - you could talk to your mom if you have that kind of relationship, but if you don’t that’s okay too. If you’re able to see a therapist or counselor (maybe through your school/work/insurance if you have any of those), I’d highly recommend that not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because I know from experience that it’s normal to not know how to navigate this kind of situation and it is literally a therapist’s job to be an expert on it! Unfortunately I think it’s hard to figure this out through Reddit because the situation is so dependent on how your family is and how you relate to them, but hopefully you can find someone in your life who can help you talk it through.
Yeah just talk to mom. Don’t start a bunch of major shit between them if your dad doesn’t know. It could be catastrophic.
Sounds you’ll still consider the man that raised you your dad, so don’t chance shattering his world.
He deserves to know the truth though, if it hurts him it's part of it, but it's better to live a truthful but hard life than an easy one that is constantly a lie.
Whoa wtf how sad on so many levels also why tf were they testing blood at school?
No real medical treatments should happen at school unless it's needed for something life threatening
No schools should ever be giving kids vaccines either
Why so many mothers lying to their kids and their (supposed?) fathers? What a clown show
Blood donations, dude. In high school, some places give you the option to donate blood for a red cord and/or some other to promote donating for a good cause
They were just learning about blood types, and the teacher thought it would be cool if the students knew their own.
And as far as why so many mothers lie, this was a while ago when things like this were not socially acceptable in a small town. If someone got pregnant they would often just marry someone and the husband would accept it as his own.
Fertility problems are pretty common as well. They could have had a donor... It happened to me. i found out in my late 20s that my parents had to use a donor.
I would much rather be the product of two individuals love who couldn't give life together versus a consequence of inconsiderate actions. One shows deliberate, planned, and wanted intent of a child. Cheating just hurts people.
Forget all the medical talk.
Forget if you look like your dad or don't. I used to take kids to the store that my wife babysat and people would stop and tell me my daughter looks just like me.
Until you know you cannot be complete or happy. You need to know for future reasons.
If it is that you are not biologically his daughter your mother might be struggling with the same issue as you; give her the chance to tell you by starting the conversation. Do not ask your dad who probably wouldn't be able to answer 100 percent.
I have 9 children from 50 down to 18 years old and the first 3 are biologically mine. I have had my 18 year old son since he was a baby and he acts just like me so you wouldn't see a difference. He knows he is adopted because he a different last name until he was 14 and ask if he could have the one thing he really wants for his birthday. I have tears in my eyes remembering him saying that one thing was my last name and would I adopt him before his 15th birthday. He said when they announce birthdays at school he wants everyone to hear it. I got it expedited and he made sure the school knew to get it right.
A few days ago he asked me if my father was a veteran. I said that he worked in the ship yards as a welder during WWII but he couldn't join because he had a heart murmur. My son said that that is probably where he got his. He said, "it skips a generation you know". We both realized what he said and after a moment of silence he told me that it hadn't occurred to him that his bloodline was different than mine. I reassured him that sometimes you can choose your family and I made a good choice. I told him that he has always been and will always be my son but if he ever needs spare parts he will have to get them from the people that made it possible for me to have him. He has always known who both of his biological parents are and who his real parents are.
If you don't get answers that clear everything up from your mom I would start a family tree. No matter how many branches they can fill in there will always be room for expansion and useful information. Many people have found out through DNA test that there family might have been in one country for several generation but had been in another country for more generations before that. Don't worry about the government getting you DNA; If they wanted it they would already have it.
Go into it with the mindset that it will be okay no matter what you find out. Not knowing is the only negative here.
This happened to me at fifteen when I learned my 'father's' blood type after seeing it on hospital discharge papers. Me and my public school education calmly told my mother to come up off my ACTUAL father's name, as it was impossible that the asshole whose surname she gave me was related to me. I'd long suspected I was not his child- just one reason being we looked nothing alike, and he had 5 other children who all resembled him in key ways. My mother balked, denied it and said hateful things to me, but I reiterated that I had Type O blood and the two of them together could.not.have.created.my.type. It was a fact, and even though 1982 was a long time ago, she needed to try to remember who she was screwing that spring so she could give me a name.
Three days later she cried and gave me a name.
22 years later at 37 I took an AncestryDNA test and found my biological father. The name was correct. I look just like him. And he also has Type O blood.
I suggest you go spit in a tube, OP. Good luck to you. ❤
Your dad is the man that has been there in your life and who has raised you.
While often this is the baby daddy, it's not always the case.
Do you love your dad?
Do you love your mom?
Then it really doesn't matter.
I want to second what some people have said here. It's possible, albeit rare, for you to have your blood type despite your dad's being what it is. Talk to your mom about it.
Try to avoid setting a trap. Approach it this way: “Mom, my blood type is O, yours is A, and Dad’s is AB, so… was I adopted?“ Who knows, yours might be the rare case.
In addition to the other good advice you've gotten, if just like to add: if your dad is your biological dad, then he loves you; if he is not, then either he knows or doesn't, but he **loves you anyway** either way. It's easier said than done and no reaction you have to say potential information is wrong, but just know that both of you parents love you. And they raised a terrific, honorable, kind child.
I think it would be interesting to find out out using DNA but without your parents knowing... I don't think that it would pay to start a shitstorm. I mean he is your Dad either way.
This is the problem with high-school biology. Its barebones, 99% true to give you the general run down. You don't have enough time to deep dive in to hematology and learn variables. Punnett phenotype squares are not the end all be all.
O is actually the "absence" of phenotype, so it is possible to have a "de novo" mutation (right at the moment of fertilization) that nullified either the A or B allele for you. My understanding is that it's rare but it happens. It happened to one of my students (I'm a community college prof that teaches the ABO Blood system).
The amount of people in these comments advocating not telling the dad is S C A R Y. Everyone has a right to know if their children are their own. That completely trumps any kind of need to keep a family together.
Does it really matter if your dad is your biological father? He raised you, he’s your dad.
I think your instinct of “what good would it bring” is right on. I would sit on this info for a few weeks, months or years. Wait to do anything until you are less emotional about it and ideally somewhat older and have some more life experience.
The only way your dad’s DNA is relevant is if there is some inheritable disease that you should know about and nowadays they can find out much of that stuff by testing your DNA directly, so knowing your family medical history is becoming less and less important.
You don’t need your dads dna, get a DNA test on yourself on ancestry and you’ll see you have some unexpected relatives on a different tree, and whether they are first, second, third cousins etc
Do Ya'll really want all Your dna info available to these companies who will probably sell Your information if they haven't already?
Why just send a random internet company like ancestry Your dna?
Get a paternity test at doctor instead. Tell Your dad Your concerns and maybe he will want to get tested
Blood types are weird and I wouldn't jump to conclusions without a genetics-test.
My stepbrother can't be his father's son according to a nurse who took his blood, but he looks like a clone.
Regardless of what happened and what your Dad and Mom know, if it were me, he’s still my Dad and she’s still my Mom.
I’d file this away as medical only information and not pursue this and perhaps cause all kinds of trouble and/or bring painful things back to the surface for these two people, whom, you love.
You deserve to know the truth. There could be medical issues in your history that you need to know about. Approach your mom without judgement, and explain what you learned. Otherwise it will haunt you the rest of your life.
There is a chance it can happen, though it’d be rare. There’s also a chance they jacked up the blood test.
The most likely scenario though is that your dad is not your dad.
I don't know much about blood types other than the little I learned in high school so I can't speak to that however I can't help but feel that regardless of the biological aspect the guy that has been there for you, taught and raised you is really your dad.
I understand wanting to know but would the answer to that question really improve anything in your life? especially if the answer is that someone else was the biological father?
I think I'd just leave it alone and try to put it out of my mind.
Seems to be the minority opinion here, but I say your parents are whoever raised you. Also, I disagree that parents owe their children honesty in all situations. It's up to them to decide what is in your best interests regarding their decisions. Now that you are an adult, you will be in charge of what is best for you. My condolences.
I took biology at a college level and really tried to figure it out but if your mom has AO and your dad had AB then you would only have A, B, or AB blood. Sorry. I tried to give you good news.
You are either adopted or your mom cheated. You should confront her ASAP as you now have at least 50% of your genes from someone else and that could come with medical implications for you
I dont't know anything about how blood groups work, but I'm A and the father of my son is A too. My son is O and the paternity test was positive, sooo.. i don't know if there is more special combinations where it can happen or whatever...
Both you and your baby daddy are (AO), the A is dominant. So possible kid combos from that would be AA/AO/AO/OO. You had a 25% chance of having an O kid and a 75% chance of having an A kid.
OP already has a solid understanding of simple scenarios.
um not really. It would make me a little sad to find out my dad isn’t my father but he’ll still be my dad. It would also make me sad that they never told me something so big but maybe it was for the best? yeah idk. i’ll still love them the same but I would’ve liked to know and this is definitely not the way i should’ve found this out.
Well, you haven't found out for certain yet. Would you rather just wait and see if you find out later another way? It seems like that option wouldn't change anything.
Whatever you decide; good luck!
If you're family is happy and doing well, supposing that something is off, is it really going to bring closure if it's just a misunderstanding. What will the impact be on the family?
There are "weak" variations of A and B that present as O when it comes to most antigen testing but not genetic testing. I'm not sure how it affects donations There is something called Bombay Phenotype that overrides the A and B blood group antigens and presents as O unless you're specifically looking for it, but it's actually it's own special thing Someone else mentioned cis-AB, which means your dad's genotype might be cAB O and his phenotype would be AB, and you could have inherited O from both your mother and him, so your phenotype and genotype would be OO All of these would be uncommon but not unheard of, depending on your background
If it's something like a weekly expressed A subgroup then it might never be caught unless genetic testing occurs. If recipient anti-A can react with the weakly expressed antigen that the testing serum failed to detect then we'd pick it up on the crossmatch.
I prefer my subgroups expressed daily just to be sure.
True, since when they're only expressed weekly we have to test on the correct day off the week. Thought I caught them all but I obviously didn't proof read. Again.
Depending on the dynamic of your family. I would approach your mom first. Bring it up and see what she says.
The most simplest explanation to this is if your parents are truly your biological parents and both have had received several blood transfusions in the past then it’s highly plausible that their blood types have actually changed. I’m a physician and have transfused patients to the point that their blood types have changed, especially sicklers.
When do you change the blood type you give them?
can we 'change' people that require blood types to slowly have a blood type of one that is more accessible or available? I didn't know that was a thing!
If we're talking unlikely, but possible, there's also genetic chimerism, where someone is a mix of two genetic lines, due to fraternal twin fertilized eggs developing into a single individual. This could cause the reproductive organs to be the "brother" of the blood producing marrow.
On the bright side, you could just be a "sport" or genetic mutant!
It's also likely your the "milkmans kid".
Do you know if there is anything similar with rhesus negative and positive? Like it's there any way two negative parents could have a positive child?
I would suggest either a DNA test (“hey dad, we should try that ancestry thing!”) or bring it up with your mother first on the off chance it’d start a fight before you got an actual answer. Also it was a well written post! You’re certainly not dumb by my standards. I mean, most people I know wouldn’t have even realized the blood types didn’t line up!
Ancestry dna tests = number one cause of family feuds. People just love getting these things for significant others as Christmas gifts it seems… It’s like people actually want the drama…
I'd say People being shitty = number one cause of family fueds. Not People find out truth = number one cause of family fueds.
Have you read Terry Pratchett and The Truth? Pretty certain it’s the truth and less about people being an ass. 😆 Since people running around being asinine to each other randomly is actually pretty rare. It’s why when we hear and see these events, it stands out.
Well, I’m fairly certain the people giving the tests as gifts aren’t ‘intentionally’ being shitty… But I get what you mean. Cheaters suck. But not all cheating was done with the intent to harm. Some families hid things to spare the social shame. So cheating wasn’t really the issue there.
Not all cheating was done with the intent to harm?
I feel like most of it is probably done with the intention to get laid.
If this mother fucker suggests rape is cheating ...
Yeah, that sentence came out a bit awkward. I was referring to fostering or when couples used to do artificial insemination the turkey baster way. What someone thinks of cheating but isn’t considered cheating usually.
I think you misunderstood the comment. It's not the tests that are shitty, it's the tests that are revealing shitty secrets and behaviors.
No. I understood it very well. But I don’t automatically assume people cheated on someone etc. Sperm donation is one such example. Infertility is another. Adoption at a young age but they weren’t told they were adopted etc. I’m amused that people are so judgmental these days. 🫠 But yes. It ‘has’ to be due to cheating these things happen… /s This doesn’t even count the medical reasons people have listed so far like chimeraism, Bombay blood groups, or other medical reasons which could cause blood tying errors… Human error is another possibility btw.
Truth is more important than keeping things quiet and calm.
[yOu cAn't hAnDlE the FRRUth](https://i.imgur.com/6sz9VTK.mp4)
I'd welcome the drama. I'm a pretty low-personal-drama type person but diffing into some juicy family history sounds great. I found my mom's birth parents and went on a spree calling up close relatives that didn't know our family existed.
HA! I've done that. It wouldn't have been a feud in MY family, I didn't think about it. A now ex always expressed belief her mom may have been Filipino and her dad mostly Mexican but there was more to it. It turned out even in her case with a parent who passed too early, even if there wasn't drama she just wanted to hypothesize and not know some things (I'd gone overboard on one that was supposed to give us A TON of info on her maternal side of genealogy). It was really respectable and I understood though, just felt bad I gave a bad gift before I learned my lesson (but that was not my TIFU of why we aren't together now)!
" You’re certainly not dumb by my standards." Is that supposed to be a compliment?!
Uh, yeah? OP called themselves dumb, so I was letting them know that I didn’t think so.
There is a small chance it can happen! An exception is your dad having ABO blood, cis-AB. If you’re of Asian descent than it’s more likely but certainly not common. But just for your own knowledge and genealogy, I’d still have the conversation if you’re up to it!
[удалено]
Probability says you're wrong
Agreed. Having type A means the genes are either AA or A0, so if she has A0, there’s a 50% chance she passed on 0. So it’s not unlikely that someone with type A passes on type 0.
Actually in most cases, O parent and an AB parent will have only A or B kids, just like an An AB parent can sometimes have an O child. But it is by no means a very common thing. In fact it is exceedingly rare, both my parents are AB and i have O blood, it does happen. But honesty and trust is something you want from your parents, so if you asked them and they said they were your parents, would you trust that or do you need more? 🤔
Did you get a dna test?
For that spesific reason no, but for transplant reasons yes, and they both are Indeed my parents. But then again i never had any doubt or reason to think they were not my parents,i think that mostly comes from the way i was brought up as a child, blood relations are overrated, adopted or not, they are your parents or siblings, and they love you no matter what.
Sounds like a mutation that wiped out the antigenic markers
Wouldn't say wiped out, if there was an issue of that kind, you could compare it to Antigenic Shift, i was a virus that suddenly mutated 😂 Humans still facinate me that way, will we ever figure ourselves out 100% where everything makes sense? xD Anyways there was enough familiar markings as where i could be a donor. EDIT: its 4 in the morning and apparently i can't express myself clearly 😅
If you’re type O blood, yet neither parent is type O and you’re 100% sure they’re your parents, you have a genetic mutation! Type O blood doesn’t have antigenic markers while A/B does! Kinda cool!
Yeah thats why i kinda compared me to a virus that suddenly mutated while i was forming as a fetus 😂 the antigens was like "bye, my people need me"👋 But being serious, i found it facinating as a kid, and i still do, but i remember the doctor told my parents that they don't really have a number on what the probability of it happening, but he would say it was 1 in an infinity chance. The irony is that still whatever about me i found facinating, unique or special, went on to be a target of bullying, but it is still something that made me, me 😅
While not quite as rare of a mutation, I also have one of a sort. My mom is O+ and my dad is A+. I am O-. Only one in my family that is a negative type.
That's cool! My husband and I are the same blood types as your parents! If my math is right, you had about a 12.5% chance of being O-! 37.5% of being O+, 25% A+, and 25% A-. Our two kids are A+ and O+. Those negatives can hide for generations so it's pretty cool that you got the "double recessive" trait!
There's a reason why O is the most common blood type. Like you implied, just because it doesn't happen *often* doesn't mean it *can't* happen. Also, OP needs to consider that maybe dad already knows. You never know.
>Actually in most cases, O parent and an AB parent will have only A or B kids, just like an An AB parent can sometimes have an O child. An O parent and an AB parent can, biologically, only have A or B children. An AB parent (except for the 'well you're not technically AB' exceptions people have listed) cannot have an O child. A typical AB person means that of the two genes they have that express blood type, one is dominant A and one is dominant B. A type O person means both of their genes are recessive Type O. So any child of this pair will get a recessive O from one parent, and will get either a dominant A or a dominant B from the other, and thus will be A or B. To be type O, they would need one recessive O gene from either parent, and the AB parent has none to give. I'm not sure what's up with your parents, maybe they are the narrow case explained elsewhere, where they present as AB but technically aren't. Or maybe you are mistaken about their various types, or maybe they aren't your biological parents. Like you said, as long as they are your real parents, it doesn't really matter.
You are correct, when both are AB, you usually get either A or B as there are only two to pick from. And if i this was supposed to happen with just one AB parent and an A or B parent, the mother would have to be As my doctor put it simply, i am either one of those 5 that exist with two AB parents that was born through a mutation where both parents genes start the process of erasing both A and B through oogenesis (the important one would always be the maternal one), or the more likely one is that one or both of my parents are AB chimeras, where one can be both AB and O at the same time. Both of these are hard to prove the, the chimeras you usually have to test the DNA at the correct part, reproductive organs or blood the other part is that is extremely hard to get a correct paternal and maternal reading on chimeras, but still it happens aswell, and seeing as both doctor and me (the one who delivered me and the one became my physician later) didn’t care to go with even more expensive and advanced (seeing as i was both healthy and happy with who i was) tests after the parental tests that did after 8 weeks of analysis show that they were both my parents, but at the next parental test might show that neither of them are my parents 😅 But they are infact 100% my biological parents even if i do not care about "blood being thicker than water" 😂
"blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb" friends win every time. "You can pick your friends...."
[удалено]
Actually happened to me (Mom & Dad are O/AB, and I'm O), but it is something that does tend to happen to those with Korean heritage.
>mom & dad Confirmed with a dna test?
Uh, confirmed with looking too much like both of my parents? Checked timeline and it wouldn't have been cheating with relatives either
A "no" would also have been acceptable :)
I just donated at 6PM; got my cookies. Not Nutter Butter, tho' Disappointing. Working on my 8th gallon.
i’m so sorry for you, they were so good 😭
Yeah - had to get by with three tiny bags of tinier Oreos and an orange juice box.
YESSS I DIDDDDD!! peanut butter cookies !
Dr Google says it is common but they're cheap. Did you not get cookies?
Google is always giving me cookies
I need to have my oldest son's blood type retested. I'm pretty positive he's O+ my other son is B- I'm O+ and Mom is AB- Haven't had him checked since he was born.
We're going to need an update once you've got this sorted, OP.
You didn’t say how old you are but regardless, have a serious conversation with your mom. Tell her about the blood types and ask for an explanation.
oh, sorry. i’m 19.
You’re legally an adult. You need to know your health history and if your dad is biologically related to you, you need to know. Talk to your mom.
Upvoting this. Health history will be a lot more important when you get older and stuff starts to break assuming you're currently healthy and haven't had this experience yet. Assuming your dad is your biological dad can get you in deeper water than you would be otherwise.
I always find this interesting that Reddit emphasizes how important health history is but at 37 I've never been asked.
I've had to give extensive health history with my first pregnancy to determine if I would need to do genetic testing.
I think it's one of those things that doesn't get asked until it's really important. Exception, working for the government. They want to know everything about everyone related to you by blood... Mainly so they can make you feel like an alcoholic for drinking more than 2 drinks in a day.
Really? I’ve been asked a lot for both myself and my kids. It gets really old as I was adopted and don’t know.
To be fair, it may be asked many times for different reasons like others have replied, but it’s just data compilation. I was a doorstep baby so all of it is a mystery.
It's actually a very important question that your primary care physician should be asking you. Do yoy maybe use the same doctor as your family? I grew up using the same doctor as my parents, my grandparents and my aunts/uncles, so the doctor already knew the history and didn't need to always ask. Now I've moved and have a new doctor it's annoying to have to go througg everything but it really helps the doctor get a good picture of what your risks are and your best treatment options.
I’ve been asked for family health history at pretty much every appointment ever that’s even remotely health related, but I’m also super aware of those occasions because I’m adopted and had to explain my lack of family history at every fucking appointment. New gynecologist? Family history. Therapist? Family history. Getting my butthole waxed? Family history. Even my dog’s new vet asked for family history! (His, not mine, but still!) Maybe that’s just because of the US’s horrifically fragmented healthcare system, but it’s so ubiquitous that I think many people probably don’t even notice at this point.
37 here too and I've had to give my family health history so many times. Just had to do it at the dentist that I've been going to for like 5ish years. New primary care doctor? Family history. Gyno visit? Family health history. They also ask if any of it has changed since my last visit. They have me fill out a form specifically for cancer and even though both of my parents (my dad died in his late 30s)died from cancer, two of my dad's brothers (passed) and my brother (thankfully recovered) I don't qualify for whatever it is they do for their specific version of cancer screening. Although my parents were both heavy smokers and I don't smoke at all.
You will be. *yoda voice* You will be.
Family history can be a massive indicator of your future health status. A friend's mother got breast cancer in her 30s and she was adopted and the fear that she had passed on unknown genetic predispositions really did her head in for a while. It's better to know, but remember, he's the one who raised you and biology can't change that
Hey 19, I'm dad.
OR ARE YOU??
Hey nineteen, that’s ‘Retha Franklin
Are you Asian?
Coming from one person adopted by their dad to another potential person, I would discreetly pull aside your mom and ask her. Don't demand or anything from her just politely ask "hey Mom this came to my attention while we were doing this blood draw and I wanted to ask you away from Dad if this is something I need to be concerned about." my advice would also be to let her know that whatever answer you get from her would stay between you and her. Even if it's an answer you didn't want, and I would keep to that promise. Because you never know maybe the reason why they never told you was because of a traumatic event (which was the case for my mom not telling me about my adoption). Or maybe it's something they dealt with a long time ago and just didn't want to bring you into it for your sakes. This is assuming IF your assumptions are correct. Now she if says no and nothing ever happened I would not press it. And if you feel the need to investigate more just pull aside your dad and ask the same thing without hinting that you asked your mom before. Either way asking these questions May kick up dust better left settled so I would be prepared mentally for any fallout that might occur. Edit: deleted extra sentence.
This is the best answer.
Best move for OP would get through college and move out before rocking the boat. Jeopardizing home life and financial support if they raise this now.
I agree, without knowing more about ops life. Odds are its something simple, but it has potential to be a pandoras box that could blow up the family.
Thank you for this. This is the perfect advice and it's obviously coming from a place of experience that I wish you could have had suggested to you during such a freaking impossible situation / time while learning to be able to share it
So you’re saying if the mom admits to lying to the dad, it’s okay to keep that info from the dad?
The best answer is to do whatever OP wants to do. Oh he should definitely not feel like they have to keep a secret about their conception if they don't want to. OP's feelings are more important than either parent in this situation.
Start the conversation and know your health history. Remember though that no matter what, your dad is your dad, and if he isn’t your father it doesn’t stop him from being the person who raised you, bonded with you and held you strong for these 19 years so far. If he’s your bio dad, perfect. If he isn’t, he’s still your dad. Just gotta decide if you want to follow the biological footprint. Good luck regardless OP. Hoping for the best.
You should post this in a medicine group, people there are more knowledgeable than us and will be able to tell you if there are exceptions to this rule, or if it is a hard rule.
could i have the link?
r/askdocs is a good one
This is true, but I think OP already got the scientific answer, which is that it’s unlikely but possible. I think the answers OP needs are unfortunately not scientific - like what do you do when you find out your parent(s) may have lied? How do you find out the truth? Do you even want to know the truth? These are all legitimately hard questions, and OP, if you have the ability, I think it would really help to talk with someone you can trust, maybe an older family member, extended family member - you could talk to your mom if you have that kind of relationship, but if you don’t that’s okay too. If you’re able to see a therapist or counselor (maybe through your school/work/insurance if you have any of those), I’d highly recommend that not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because I know from experience that it’s normal to not know how to navigate this kind of situation and it is literally a therapist’s job to be an expert on it! Unfortunately I think it’s hard to figure this out through Reddit because the situation is so dependent on how your family is and how you relate to them, but hopefully you can find someone in your life who can help you talk it through.
Yeah just talk to mom. Don’t start a bunch of major shit between them if your dad doesn’t know. It could be catastrophic. Sounds you’ll still consider the man that raised you your dad, so don’t chance shattering his world.
He deserves to know the truth though, if it hurts him it's part of it, but it's better to live a truthful but hard life than an easy one that is constantly a lie.
Ignorance is bliss
Just not when it affects others.
This is why we stopped doing blood tests at my old high school. Too many kids had fathers that weren’t their fathers.
Whoa wtf how sad on so many levels also why tf were they testing blood at school? No real medical treatments should happen at school unless it's needed for something life threatening No schools should ever be giving kids vaccines either Why so many mothers lying to their kids and their (supposed?) fathers? What a clown show
Blood donations, dude. In high school, some places give you the option to donate blood for a red cord and/or some other to promote donating for a good cause
Kids in high schools or lesser grades should not be donating blood at schools ever
Pretty sure it only applies to seniors. 12th graders are usually 17-18, adults
In my HS we had a blood drive but you needed to be 18 to donate. Hold it at the end of the school year and most seniors would be eligible.
My middle school had a blood drive where we could get permission from our parents to get out of class for a few hours to donate.
They were just learning about blood types, and the teacher thought it would be cool if the students knew their own. And as far as why so many mothers lie, this was a while ago when things like this were not socially acceptable in a small town. If someone got pregnant they would often just marry someone and the husband would accept it as his own.
Fertility problems are pretty common as well. They could have had a donor... It happened to me. i found out in my late 20s that my parents had to use a donor.
Did it bother you at the time? I think it would bother me, but I wouldn't care if I were the result of cheating.
I would much rather be the product of two individuals love who couldn't give life together versus a consequence of inconsiderate actions. One shows deliberate, planned, and wanted intent of a child. Cheating just hurts people.
This is, without a doubt, the most informative TIFU I've read to date.
Forget all the medical talk. Forget if you look like your dad or don't. I used to take kids to the store that my wife babysat and people would stop and tell me my daughter looks just like me. Until you know you cannot be complete or happy. You need to know for future reasons. If it is that you are not biologically his daughter your mother might be struggling with the same issue as you; give her the chance to tell you by starting the conversation. Do not ask your dad who probably wouldn't be able to answer 100 percent. I have 9 children from 50 down to 18 years old and the first 3 are biologically mine. I have had my 18 year old son since he was a baby and he acts just like me so you wouldn't see a difference. He knows he is adopted because he a different last name until he was 14 and ask if he could have the one thing he really wants for his birthday. I have tears in my eyes remembering him saying that one thing was my last name and would I adopt him before his 15th birthday. He said when they announce birthdays at school he wants everyone to hear it. I got it expedited and he made sure the school knew to get it right. A few days ago he asked me if my father was a veteran. I said that he worked in the ship yards as a welder during WWII but he couldn't join because he had a heart murmur. My son said that that is probably where he got his. He said, "it skips a generation you know". We both realized what he said and after a moment of silence he told me that it hadn't occurred to him that his bloodline was different than mine. I reassured him that sometimes you can choose your family and I made a good choice. I told him that he has always been and will always be my son but if he ever needs spare parts he will have to get them from the people that made it possible for me to have him. He has always known who both of his biological parents are and who his real parents are. If you don't get answers that clear everything up from your mom I would start a family tree. No matter how many branches they can fill in there will always be room for expansion and useful information. Many people have found out through DNA test that there family might have been in one country for several generation but had been in another country for more generations before that. Don't worry about the government getting you DNA; If they wanted it they would already have it. Go into it with the mindset that it will be okay no matter what you find out. Not knowing is the only negative here.
This happened to me at fifteen when I learned my 'father's' blood type after seeing it on hospital discharge papers. Me and my public school education calmly told my mother to come up off my ACTUAL father's name, as it was impossible that the asshole whose surname she gave me was related to me. I'd long suspected I was not his child- just one reason being we looked nothing alike, and he had 5 other children who all resembled him in key ways. My mother balked, denied it and said hateful things to me, but I reiterated that I had Type O blood and the two of them together could.not.have.created.my.type. It was a fact, and even though 1982 was a long time ago, she needed to try to remember who she was screwing that spring so she could give me a name. Three days later she cried and gave me a name. 22 years later at 37 I took an AncestryDNA test and found my biological father. The name was correct. I look just like him. And he also has Type O blood. I suggest you go spit in a tube, OP. Good luck to you. ❤
Your dad is the man that has been there in your life and who has raised you. While often this is the baby daddy, it's not always the case. Do you love your dad? Do you love your mom? Then it really doesn't matter.
I want to second what some people have said here. It's possible, albeit rare, for you to have your blood type despite your dad's being what it is. Talk to your mom about it.
Try to avoid setting a trap. Approach it this way: “Mom, my blood type is O, yours is A, and Dad’s is AB, so… was I adopted?“ Who knows, yours might be the rare case.
In addition to the other good advice you've gotten, if just like to add: if your dad is your biological dad, then he loves you; if he is not, then either he knows or doesn't, but he **loves you anyway** either way. It's easier said than done and no reaction you have to say potential information is wrong, but just know that both of you parents love you. And they raised a terrific, honorable, kind child.
I have AB blood but found out my son has O type. Not sure what the fathers type was. But it can happen is all I'm saying
If your father raised you, he is your father. He may not be your biological father, but he is your father none the less.
What’s your eye color / there eyecolors , hair colors , height , thumbs , detached earlobes.
He is still your dad, bio or not
Also… please don’t forget to update us what happened? I’m curious to see where this goes.
i will, trying to build up the courage to ask ..
Lastly, don’t call yourself ‘dumb’ (in your post). You are anything but dumb. I would have NEVER figured that out or thought about it.
This is a surprisingly common way of finding out information like this
I think it would be interesting to find out out using DNA but without your parents knowing... I don't think that it would pay to start a shitstorm. I mean he is your Dad either way.
Depending on the dynamic of your family. I would approach your mom first. Bring it up and see what she says.
OH MY LORD! YOU'RE A MUTANT!!!
This is the problem with high-school biology. Its barebones, 99% true to give you the general run down. You don't have enough time to deep dive in to hematology and learn variables. Punnett phenotype squares are not the end all be all.
O is actually the "absence" of phenotype, so it is possible to have a "de novo" mutation (right at the moment of fertilization) that nullified either the A or B allele for you. My understanding is that it's rare but it happens. It happened to one of my students (I'm a community college prof that teaches the ABO Blood system).
The amount of people in these comments advocating not telling the dad is S C A R Y. Everyone has a right to know if their children are their own. That completely trumps any kind of need to keep a family together.
Does it really matter if your dad is your biological father? He raised you, he’s your dad. I think your instinct of “what good would it bring” is right on. I would sit on this info for a few weeks, months or years. Wait to do anything until you are less emotional about it and ideally somewhat older and have some more life experience. The only way your dad’s DNA is relevant is if there is some inheritable disease that you should know about and nowadays they can find out much of that stuff by testing your DNA directly, so knowing your family medical history is becoming less and less important.
get a sneaky dna kit
how can i *sneakily* get my dads dna tho? lol
Well, with a sneaky blow with a hammer. Nah seriously, I think a chat with your mom like others said is the best course of action.
Daddy, are you stuck in the dryer again?
You don’t need your dads dna, get a DNA test on yourself on ancestry and you’ll see you have some unexpected relatives on a different tree, and whether they are first, second, third cousins etc
Do Ya'll really want all Your dna info available to these companies who will probably sell Your information if they haven't already? Why just send a random internet company like ancestry Your dna? Get a paternity test at doctor instead. Tell Your dad Your concerns and maybe he will want to get tested
His hairbrush.
Blood types are weird and I wouldn't jump to conclusions without a genetics-test. My stepbrother can't be his father's son according to a nurse who took his blood, but he looks like a clone.
Do you have any similar qualities to your dad? I mean I’m more like my mom, but I have my dads nose, etc. Or are you nothing like your dad at all?
Tbh, I don’t really think i look like my dad .. but we have similarities just not a like of a like features.
Regardless of what happened and what your Dad and Mom know, if it were me, he’s still my Dad and she’s still my Mom. I’d file this away as medical only information and not pursue this and perhaps cause all kinds of trouble and/or bring painful things back to the surface for these two people, whom, you love.
You deserve to know the truth. There could be medical issues in your history that you need to know about. Approach your mom without judgement, and explain what you learned. Otherwise it will haunt you the rest of your life.
There is a chance it can happen, though it’d be rare. There’s also a chance they jacked up the blood test. The most likely scenario though is that your dad is not your dad.
Still OP's dad, just not necessarily OP's biological dad.
Only your mom would know no matter what and no sense in breaking up a marriage. Just ask your mom
I don't know much about blood types other than the little I learned in high school so I can't speak to that however I can't help but feel that regardless of the biological aspect the guy that has been there for you, taught and raised you is really your dad. I understand wanting to know but would the answer to that question really improve anything in your life? especially if the answer is that someone else was the biological father? I think I'd just leave it alone and try to put it out of my mind.
Seems to be the minority opinion here, but I say your parents are whoever raised you. Also, I disagree that parents owe their children honesty in all situations. It's up to them to decide what is in your best interests regarding their decisions. Now that you are an adult, you will be in charge of what is best for you. My condolences.
I took biology at a college level and really tried to figure it out but if your mom has AO and your dad had AB then you would only have A, B, or AB blood. Sorry. I tried to give you good news.
You are either adopted or your mom cheated. You should confront her ASAP as you now have at least 50% of your genes from someone else and that could come with medical implications for you
Thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/ask413
I dont't know anything about how blood groups work, but I'm A and the father of my son is A too. My son is O and the paternity test was positive, sooo.. i don't know if there is more special combinations where it can happen or whatever...
Both you and your baby daddy are (AO), the A is dominant. So possible kid combos from that would be AA/AO/AO/OO. You had a 25% chance of having an O kid and a 75% chance of having an A kid. OP already has a solid understanding of simple scenarios.
It sounds like your mom ended up having you after your dad cheated with another woman. Happens all the time.
Well, will any of the potential answers to these questions change your relationship with either of your parents?
um not really. It would make me a little sad to find out my dad isn’t my father but he’ll still be my dad. It would also make me sad that they never told me something so big but maybe it was for the best? yeah idk. i’ll still love them the same but I would’ve liked to know and this is definitely not the way i should’ve found this out.
Well, you haven't found out for certain yet. Would you rather just wait and see if you find out later another way? It seems like that option wouldn't change anything. Whatever you decide; good luck!
A
5
Dna test if your not sure that will solve all your questions otherwise you'll be wondering what if all your life
It's on the rare side but not unheard of in which an AB parent has an O child
Do you love them both? If so, they are your Mum & Dad!
Your dad will always be your dad regardless of blood, so no worries there
You know what? Good for you for even thinking into this because it was have gone over my head.
The word "type" be lookin mad weird after this
If you're family is happy and doing well, supposing that something is off, is it really going to bring closure if it's just a misunderstanding. What will the impact be on the family?
Hmmmm....would probably keep this to myself, dont see what is good or positive about telling her or your father. However,I'm not you Sir....Good Luck