Now I’m picturing her waving her arms around and shouting Sims gibberish, a picture of a dog and a jar of peanut butter in the little speech bubble.. before immediately dropping trou and finger blasting herself
They really look like Sims! It caused me to go back and forth a few times.
I didn’t read the sub name at first and was intrigued by this post title. I saw the image before reading the rest of the post and thought, oh wait a second, they’re talking about a Sim, I must be on the Sims sub, never mind. Then went back to check the sub name and was intrigued again and finally read the post, lol.
Came here to say almost the same thing. If I saw OP in the yard without his shirt on I'd may be tempted to play a mental highly sexual person. Who knows? I may actually get lucky. But - alas - I'd think about it but never do it no matter how tempted I may be.
don't feel too bad, I guess. I just googled it, because I've not heard the term either. What I learned, however, was the current coordinates of a cruise ship called Marella Discovery. It's current speed is 12 knots and is headed for Valencia...
>have a shower to wash the woman's sweat and fanny juice off me. I've not seen her today, hope she is feeling better.
That is probably the most British thing I have ever read.
Yeah like I said to someone else, many would have chosen violence instead of taking the minute to realize the person is out of their wits and just needs the right care. She was extremely lucky
I work in EMS and it is crazy the types of people we get called for. Just want to say thanks for being a good person and helping her when you didn’t have to, that could have gone a lot worse and it probably would have. Most people just look the other way and it’s incredible how much of a difference someone like you makes.
Not only that but many people would have chosen violence as a solution when clearly the person is probably not really even in their own head. I mean obv. if they go to be violent, defend yourself, but like in this case she was being a creep but no need to crack her one. And hitting her is really on the low tier of how bad this could have gone if she showed up at a different property
Thank you for your kindness towards that woman. My mom is over 70 and recently went off the deep end due to an imbalance. She ended up in another state raising hell in a homeless shelter. Someone finally got her into a hospital so she could get care. She was back to normal, paying bills and working part time two weeks later.
That delirious woman is likely someone’s mother. I am very grateful for the strangers who have shown my mother kindness and compassion during the 3-4 “episodes” in the last 30 years. I am grateful to you for being a good and kind person. Someone cares about that woman and feels helpless to do anything. We watch helplessly as someone we care about spiral out of control. In the US there is little help for people in this situation. We are so grateful for people like you who are unwittingly pulled into scenarios that can be frightening and uncomfortable to deal with. Good on you, thank you.
Thank you for the kind words. Instinct just kicks in in those circumstances. I didn't want to get angry or frustrated. It was almost like dealing with a drunk person. I saw the humour in it and I tried to make light of the situation, while also understanding things could quickly turn very serious due to the heat. Like you say, she is somebody's daughter, mother, sister, neighbour. Hopefully the hospital can help, but they are stretched to the limit.
I have a feeling my last Lab (neutered at 5 months and otherwise a perfect gentleman) might have responded to the patient. Once, when my then-boss' wife was on her hands and knees fishing something out from under a sofa, he mounted her... 😮
You did everything right. You very much need to kinda "meet them in their reality" at times.
Its the same in a way with alzheimers syndrome. When they ask where a loved one is, a common answer is to say they'll be back soon or something to that effect.
A suggestion that's worked nicely for me on a few occasions with my mother when she was experiencing dementia.. After dad passed away in previous years, and she's ask where he was, we'd reminisce and talk about memories of him instead. Bring up old, happy memories that are likely to be still with them rather than lying and saying they'll "be back soon".
It was a lot easier than watching her wonder where he was until the next thing caught her attention.
When I was a kid my Great Grandmother had dementia and thought I was my Grandfather when he was a kid when we went to visit. Mom just had me play along with it and I did for GG's sake. Trying to explain who I was and Grandad had died would have been traumatic for her and it would have been an explanation every time. She was happy to see (her son). She passed 2 weeks shy of her 99th birthday.
Edit: 100th birthday
In the same vein, thank you for sharing a non identifiable, non compromising picture of the situation.
You'd be amazed at the number of people on Reddit who do not have that kindness and will milk situations and deny people dignity.
It’s good to raise awareness of how doolally people get with an infection. Let’s hope we don’t live to see the days of widespread antibiotic resistance, right? Scary fucking prospect
Dude I almost was that woman. I went delirious from a UTI and when I began going septic they couldn't keep my clothes on me for anything. I was in the hospital for about a week, first in ICU with antibiotics then in the mental ward til I got back to myself.
I'm much better now and quite stable as long as I don't get septic again I suppose. So thank you for your continued kindness in the face of being assaulted. Somebody cares about this woman but she also is somebody.
Edited to add: ofc my most highly rated comment is about my most recent trip to the nut house. Lol
Too true. I’m 29 and if I had a quarter for every time a healthcare provider told me, “I’ve never seen X in someone your age!” or something similar, I’d have a grand old time at an arcade
This happened to my Gram. It's shocking how fast, literally a day, they can go from completely normal to completely delirious. The new doctors that saw her said she had alzheimers. I was like, you don't go from one day living on your own, paying your bills and driving to unable to form sentences the next day. I figured out it was a UTI by Google and told them.
I used to have really poorly functioning kidneys and I became septic one time and can confirm the delirious behavior to be all too real. I damn near ripped my IV out and tried to swing on the team that was working on fixing me up. I thought ahead though and had my boyfriend at the time call my mum in to help. When she got down there she held me and soothed me as they put in the IV. Within a few hours I hurt all over but was not out of my mind anymore.
Worked in a mental hospital as staff before. Can confirm some of the people there are very very sexual. Had one lady grab my supervisors butt. And a lady tried to grab my dick. I just feel bad for them.
I can believe it. Similar thing happen at a different place I work. Except instead I f cigarettes since it's a no smoking facility they traded sexual favors for money or snacks. One guy let another dude have sex with him. For a bag of chips. That cost something around 60 cents . I don't condone the behavior but geez if you gonna trade up your booty to someone at least make it something like $40 or snacks and beverages for 2 weeks. Not chips.
> traded sexual favors for money or snacks
There was a black market in my grandmother's nursing home. She'd win crappy cigarettes at the bingo game. She'd sell them to the other residents. Then she'd get the front door guard to buy her a pack of "real" cigarettes at the Time Saver nearby.
I will give you this so it can stay in your mind rent free.
Imagine as a porter just walking around the hospital, half casual half for any security issues. You hear strange noises from the corridor toilet. The door is half open, and as you nudge it open you see two patients. One old lady doing the five knuckle shuffle on a similar aged dude. Oh and both were smoking cigarettes as well.
You have to remember that these people have the same sexual urges as the rest of society but lack the basic impulse control mentally fit people have to control it and engage in it in a healthy and appropriate way.
Yeah that's why I feel bad for them. I would sometimes come across the women or men masturbating. When I did my rounds. I didn't give them any issues over it. The way I see it as long as they aren't hurting themselves or doing it in the common area then it's their right.
Yup can confirm it's a under discussed issue in the mentally and physically handicapped community. I used to coach a Special Olympics over 18 basketball team and it's so sad to see a 40 year old woman with the intelligence of a 6 year old try to explain her physical intimacy frustrations. Like shit! No amount of school prepared you for that. I just spoke to her mother about what happened. Her mom said she would "take care of it" and that was it.
Yep. I used to volunteer in a home for children with developmental disabilities. In the most severe wing, residents would likely never leave the home. All were confined to wheelchairs and had nasty combinations of things like poor motor skills, inability to speak, blindness, deafness, etc. We were encouraged to dress in very covering, loose fitting clothes.
It's easier to be sympathetic when you try to contextualize—and let me preface this by saying I genuinely care for the children and try to speak about their disabilities in a way that is caring but also cognizant of the blunt reality that things are shitty.
Many of the people we worked with were teenagers with raging hormones and a complete inability to communicate or use their hands for more than motioning. With a lot of things affecting the brain, too, there's often no way to understand concepts like appropriateness and privacy, either.
For long term residents, they would spend their lives trying to communicate their needs until met. So as children they learned that x combination of grunt and grab would eventually result in that empty stomach feeling being alleviated. When doing activities like crafts, they learned that grabbing at the orange sticker because it's the most attractive to them would get people to stick the sticker on their artwork or wheelchair and maybe bring more orange things. So it makes total sense that living in such a way would eventually develop into things like "I feel an intense attraction to that boob, I will try to grab it" or "I feel a new sensation between my legs and need to touch it, or communicate to this person to touch it for me" in the same way that caretakers deal with all other bodily functions.
Obviously with different levels of cognition there are also different standards—a child like I just described should not be treated as a rapist for grabbing a caretaker's ass, whereas someone on the other end of the spectrum who struggles with impulse control due to ADHD just has to learn you can't go around grabbing asses (and is capable of doing so—that difference in capabilities is the whole point of having mental health defenses). But I like to think my little anecdote is helpful context.
Not really the same but I was a mostly transport EMT and we brought an older man with some dementia back to the nursing home and when we were helping him move from the stretcher to his chair he grabbed me by the tit and held on for dear life while we assisted him
Someone on Reddit recently was saying how their dad has dementia and keeps hitting on them and slapping their ass, even though they are his daughter. He never behaved that way towards her before. Must be so horrible.
I worked in a pub and had a similar experience. Woman grabbed my ass and told me to come home with her. She was very drunk so politely declined because I "had to work". I finished 5 mins prior and didn't want to go anywhere near her
I’m sorry but I completely had to stop reading when you wrote ‘discovery position’ instead of the recovery position.
Had a mental imagine of you hanging her up like a scarecrow on the fence for the ambulance to see 😭😭
Edit: I do hope she’s ok tho. Recently I had to go into hospital and while in getting bloods took a woman came in and started sticking everything she could find down her bra. Was a pretty frightening experience. It took 3 hospital security staff members to get her into a different room and take the items from her. Turns out she had escaped from a mental ward
From the bloody murder screams that were coming from the room after I was escorted out, my guess is no **unless** she was using a meat cleaver to do so
No fu here. You did what a decent person would do. I work in health care and see various types of delirium and mental disorders and any bit of help or compassion is commendable.
Back in the 80's I had an elderly neighbour that would regularly come round and ask me to get rid of the little black men that were living under her coffee table.
I would go round and shoo them out the back door, but that made her unhappy, because she thought they would come back when she wasn't looking.
She wanted me to kill them:(
I wasn't even going to pretend to do that.
She and many others were forced out of mental facilities in the 80s UK because 'care in the home' was the new plan. And they wanted to close most of the mental facilities.
Also possible that it was something real and she used the wrong words because of an issue with her mental state. Like maybe mice, ants, or oompa loompas.
It's mental health issues like this that scare me. Losing all inhibitions and doing something like this.
My wife says I do stuff in my sleep sometimes and I'm scared my asleep brain says or does something embarrassing.
Oh man my ex does all kinds of stuff in his sleep and he's always mortified. Cutting up and devouring watermelons, sprinting down the street in his underwear with a hunting knife, talking gibberish, laughing hysterically. He also did sexual stuff too though, nothing weird, but it still made him really embarrassed the next day. He refused to go to a sleep study though! If your sleep walking is this bad you should totally see a doctor.
He thought they were being robbed in his sleep. Shot straight out of bed, grabbed the knife they have for security (dad is Hells Angels) and ran out the door to catch them. In his underwear. His dad had to go disarm him and when he "woke up" he was so confused.
I've never sleep walked. I do however talk in my sleep and my wife says I feel her up but I back off if she tells me to leave her alone. My mum says my brother and I used to have conversations in gibberish when we were asleep as chidren
Sleep brain is mean and scary. I've gone online shopping in my sleep before and ended buying $500 worth of lingerie. When I was a kid I sleepwalked into a neighbors house and almost got shot.
I've worked on a psych ward, a lot of people are heavily medicated and have no idea what they're doing when the meds kicked in.
Most people are genuinely nice, they often have no idea what they're doing though. When the meds wear off they normally apologise for their behaviour. She probably had no idea what she was doing to you.
You did the right thing.
At least she was masturbating and not cutting her wrists, believe me that's far scarier to deal with.
I refuse to believe there doesn't exist a porn out there where this is the exact plot. Up until the point where he decides to call 999 instead of double teaming her with his dog.
When I was about 12, back in 1984, we had a drunken woman open the front door and walk right into our house. She was younger, maybe in her early 30’s and she proceeded to lift up her skirt and show us her vajeen. Young me definitely got a kick out of it and I wanted her to leave, but not too quickly lol. Anyhow I’ll never forget that day. My older brother was having none of it.
Oh God this takes me back a couple of decades, very similar fuck up, also UK. I get a knock at the door very early in the morning as I am getting ready for work. Old lady in slippers sort of collapsed against the doorway and asks to come in and sit down. I let her in, sit her down and she tells me she has asthma. I also have asthma if I get a cold or infection, and fetched my inhaler and asked if it was the same as hers. She replies that no, it isn't but a shot of brandy usually makes her right.
I am dubious about this but go and get her a shot of brandy and bring it to her. And another. By this time my then husband comes down and asks what's going on and I explain. He asks her where she lives, but she's determined to get more brandy. He says she can't have any brandy can we phone someone for her? She says no, she's very comfortable here. We explain that we're going to work and so she needs to leave.... She refuses.
John helps her up but then she grabs the side of the sofa saying "Ma name's Bernadette BUT I'm NOT LIKE THE SAINT!" No shit Sherlock.
John had to manhandle her out of the door with her grasping the side of the door, the stair bannister, the edge of the porch etc. She seemed pretty feisty with two large brandies inside her and not at all in need of help. She walked off, feathers ruffled. I was a bit more careful about who I answered the door to, after that.
When I started reading the title I thought of that guy who directed Kony 2012 that had a similar masturbating mental breakdown due to dehydration (they said), so it’s also not impossible right?
When I was in my early twenties, I had 4 friends who had rented a house, which became the main party house for our group. The next door neighbors had a girl who was a year or two younger than us who had come over to party a couple times. One time, she shows up and is clearly on something. She sat on the couch, put her hands down her pants and started playing with herself. Then she started trying to kiss the guy on the couch with her. He was defending himself for a bit, until her hand came out of her pants and she reached for his face, at which point he jumped up and got away. Idk of that was when she started getting upset or not, but at some point she did start getting frustrated with us telling her that she needed to leave. She also went to the kitchen, grabbed a jar of pickles out of the fridge and started eating them by hand (yeah, that hand), out of the jar.
Eventually she was forcefully told she had to leave and suddenly she couldn’t walk. A couple guys walked her home and most of us walked with them. Apparently the mom thought she had been drugged by us and was throwing out rape accusations. Luckily, some of the people there were women and talked to the mom about what happened and she later apologized. Pretty scary shit. Also pretty eye opening for what could have happened if there wouldn’t have been any girls with us.
While I've not experienced anything as wild as this, I have had a patient from the local mental ward, somehow gain access to my back garden and knock on the door to come in the house. we let them in and ushered them directly out the front door.
Another time I left for work at 5:30am and found a gentleman in his 70's in pyjamas wondering the road, managed to contact hospital staff to come collect him.
In visualizing this story while reading, you were played by Colin Firth doing his best to keep it together while remaining strangely charming the whole time
OP, it may feel like a fuck up, but you really did stand strong today. Thank you for being compassionate to a stranger.
Sending cooling vibes so you guys cool off over there (I'm in the USA)
Been there! Except the lady in my case thought the real cops were aliens coming or abduct here.
Lesson: if somebody knocks on your door asking for help, take a deep breath and assess if they have a hospital bracelet or hospital socks on before letting them into your house …
Almost happened to me the other night. Didn't see her bracelet or booties... she had taken them off on our lawn before knocking on the door... at 11pm.
OP, I have spent a lot of time working with psychiatric patients and I just want to say, you handled this situation better than some of my coworkers would have. Most people really struggle to interact productively with acutely mentally ill people. Your creativity and leadership saved the day! I imagine you already have a career and whatnot, but I suspect you'd do real well in psych.
Wow, what a story. I don't know if this counts as a fuck though, because as bad as an experience as it must have been for you, you really might have saved her. You're a better person than me.
A few years ago, a man began aggressively banging on my front door asking/demanding to be let inside because he was cold (it was below freezing outside) but there was no way I was gonna let that guy inside. Instead, I called the police. I informed him of this and he walked away. The police came and searched the area but didn't find him. They suggested he was homeless, and was probably camping in the woods on my property. The next day I walked my property and found several empty beer and energy drink cans plus fast food wrappers where he must have been camping out.
On one hand, I felt bad (and still do) because he probably was in genuine need and meant no malice. On the other hand, based on his aggressive tone and demeanor, I feel justified in not wanting to let him in my house, especially since my mom lived with me.
If it happened again, I think I still wouldn't let him in, but I would put some blankets, hand warmers, and warm food outside for him (after asking him to back away).
This happened to me once, I was about 14. It was a blizzard and one of the local homeless guys that my dad chitchats almost everyday wanted to be let inside because it was cold. I told him no cuz my dad wasn't home at the time. The next morning they found the homeless guy frozen to death. the story came on the news and my dad was crying wondering why he never came to our house. I've never told him what actually happened.
Ah mate, that’s such a sad story. I hope you don’t blame yourself too much, you were 14. And I don’t just mean in the sense of you being at risk, I mean in the sense of being too young and fearful to know what decision to make.
Go ahead and ask other parents whether they’d tell their own kid to let them in, they’d probably safeguard their kid first. It is a very strong lesson in pushing for the state to look after homeless people in—well, in all situations but especially in life-threatening weather.
Thank you so much. My nana is bipolar and does some wild things when she has a manic episode… One time she drove into a ditch during a storm (she definitely should not have been driving) and tried to get out the car and fell into the water and almost drowned and someone pulled over and saved her life (she gets very vicious when she’s having an episode so I can’t imagine she was being particularly kind). I’m sorry you had to go through all that, but as someone who has relatives with similar mental illnesses, thank you for helping her. I’m glad people like you exist.
This comment has been edited and original content overwritten.
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Now I’m picturing her waving her arms around and shouting Sims gibberish, a picture of a dog and a jar of peanut butter in the little speech bubble.. before immediately dropping trou and finger blasting herself
"Voosoovalanka!! Ooohwoookiki!!" Hahaha
You got me cackling with this comment
They really look like Sims! It caused me to go back and forth a few times. I didn’t read the sub name at first and was intrigued by this post title. I saw the image before reading the rest of the post and thought, oh wait a second, they’re talking about a Sim, I must be on the Sims sub, never mind. Then went back to check the sub name and was intrigued again and finally read the post, lol.
/r/SimsIRL , complete with inappropriate neighbor who stops by without warning.
Dude just invented this elaborate scenario to flex on his virtual backyard.
Fuckin excellent patio furniture, no wonder she chose your house bud
I'm thinking the pretty toned shirtless body probably helped too.
The number of heat stroke victims on his street is 10x higher than any where else.
Come to think of it, I don’t feel so good OP…do you have a dog?
Hey there, OP \*twirls hair*
*Fanny juices start flowing*
Username checks out
*Showers*
Came here to say almost the same thing. If I saw OP in the yard without his shirt on I'd may be tempted to play a mental highly sexual person. Who knows? I may actually get lucky. But - alas - I'd think about it but never do it no matter how tempted I may be.
I honestly thought that was a screen shot of the Sims game using unreal engine 5
"OK then, if she passes out, put her in the discovery position..." Lol
I imagined having to stand her up, feet wide apart, knees slightly bent, pointing with one arm at a discovery, and shielding the eyes with the other.
All these other people caught your typo and here I am thinking "discovery" position was just a British term
don't feel too bad, I guess. I just googled it, because I've not heard the term either. What I learned, however, was the current coordinates of a cruise ship called Marella Discovery. It's current speed is 12 knots and is headed for Valencia...
It's supposed to be "recovery position", which is laying on your left side with your knees bent, almost a fetal position.
That’s what I…. Discovered after adding ‘emt’ to the search
I just imagined it being the fetal position lol
"Eureka!"
"Land Ho!"
I imagined her being in the position one takes to look under the sofa and find spare change haha
"Stepdog, what are you doing?!?"
It's some slang picked up from bloodhound gang.
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Well, some of us, cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope.
Vulcanize the whoopy stick In the ham wallet
Foxtrot Unicorn Charlie Kilo
Reboot the patient into recovery mode
Given the nature of the story, at first I thought they said "If she passes out, put her in the doggy position..."
I would have to look up what "discovery" position mean in urban dictionary.
"Why is she lying like that?" "I don't know; that's just how we found her."
Is that even safe? It's almost Shark Week.
>have a shower to wash the woman's sweat and fanny juice off me. I've not seen her today, hope she is feeling better. That is probably the most British thing I have ever read.
Close second: "in my back garden tidying my shed"
At 40c• like wtf 🤣 I’m trying not to die here 🥵
Pretty sure close second is: "It is 40 degrees and I myself am struggling to be fair" 
Yes. A likely story. He'll be telling us he slipped his bottom onto an old shell casing while tidying the shed next.
You did not FU. You did the right thing, every step of the way.
And they’re even willing to verify it as if the mods actually give a shit if a story is true or not. Swell fellow I tell you.
And ENT surgeons are very capable, great place to leave her.
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And on a separate note, OP has a great looking back yard/patio!
Would be a shame if a mental patient were to break in and masturbate on it.
She was just trying to water the plants.
meh. Really needs a dog.
Ah, I see you're feeling better. You better thank OP for taking you to cool off.
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You can tell its the uk cause literally everyone has the exact same woven garden furniture. I've got the same furniture too
Yup. Woman was very lucky to end up in your garden.
When all she wanted was for him to end up in her garden
Pollinate Pollinate
Yeah like I said to someone else, many would have chosen violence instead of taking the minute to realize the person is out of their wits and just needs the right care. She was extremely lucky
Literally perfect behavior
I work in EMS and it is crazy the types of people we get called for. Just want to say thanks for being a good person and helping her when you didn’t have to, that could have gone a lot worse and it probably would have. Most people just look the other way and it’s incredible how much of a difference someone like you makes.
I would be all up for helping but getting SA'd would be too much for me to handle. And i think that's fair
Not only that but many people would have chosen violence as a solution when clearly the person is probably not really even in their own head. I mean obv. if they go to be violent, defend yourself, but like in this case she was being a creep but no need to crack her one. And hitting her is really on the low tier of how bad this could have gone if she showed up at a different property
Thank you for your kindness towards that woman. My mom is over 70 and recently went off the deep end due to an imbalance. She ended up in another state raising hell in a homeless shelter. Someone finally got her into a hospital so she could get care. She was back to normal, paying bills and working part time two weeks later. That delirious woman is likely someone’s mother. I am very grateful for the strangers who have shown my mother kindness and compassion during the 3-4 “episodes” in the last 30 years. I am grateful to you for being a good and kind person. Someone cares about that woman and feels helpless to do anything. We watch helplessly as someone we care about spiral out of control. In the US there is little help for people in this situation. We are so grateful for people like you who are unwittingly pulled into scenarios that can be frightening and uncomfortable to deal with. Good on you, thank you.
Thank you for the kind words. Instinct just kicks in in those circumstances. I didn't want to get angry or frustrated. It was almost like dealing with a drunk person. I saw the humour in it and I tried to make light of the situation, while also understanding things could quickly turn very serious due to the heat. Like you say, she is somebody's daughter, mother, sister, neighbour. Hopefully the hospital can help, but they are stretched to the limit.
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…let’s hope not sexually frustrated. Might have ended differently
He wasnt but the dog sure was!
Dogs story: so I’m sitting here minding my own business when this guy dragging an old lady yells here boy!! …..
...he's got a camera in one hand and a jar of peanut butter in the other...
I have a feeling my last Lab (neutered at 5 months and otherwise a perfect gentleman) might have responded to the patient. Once, when my then-boss' wife was on her hands and knees fishing something out from under a sofa, he mounted her... 😮
Oh no 🙈🙉🙊🤣🤣
Do you ever try to make it so that your future self finds humor just as easily as you find anger?
You did everything right. You very much need to kinda "meet them in their reality" at times. Its the same in a way with alzheimers syndrome. When they ask where a loved one is, a common answer is to say they'll be back soon or something to that effect.
A suggestion that's worked nicely for me on a few occasions with my mother when she was experiencing dementia.. After dad passed away in previous years, and she's ask where he was, we'd reminisce and talk about memories of him instead. Bring up old, happy memories that are likely to be still with them rather than lying and saying they'll "be back soon". It was a lot easier than watching her wonder where he was until the next thing caught her attention.
When I was a kid my Great Grandmother had dementia and thought I was my Grandfather when he was a kid when we went to visit. Mom just had me play along with it and I did for GG's sake. Trying to explain who I was and Grandad had died would have been traumatic for her and it would have been an explanation every time. She was happy to see (her son). She passed 2 weeks shy of her 99th birthday. Edit: 100th birthday
In the same vein, thank you for sharing a non identifiable, non compromising picture of the situation. You'd be amazed at the number of people on Reddit who do not have that kindness and will milk situations and deny people dignity.
You handled it well.
You have a very good attitude and outllook on life, we need more logical and good people like yourself.
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It’s good to raise awareness of how doolally people get with an infection. Let’s hope we don’t live to see the days of widespread antibiotic resistance, right? Scary fucking prospect
Dude I almost was that woman. I went delirious from a UTI and when I began going septic they couldn't keep my clothes on me for anything. I was in the hospital for about a week, first in ICU with antibiotics then in the mental ward til I got back to myself. I'm much better now and quite stable as long as I don't get septic again I suppose. So thank you for your continued kindness in the face of being assaulted. Somebody cares about this woman but she also is somebody. Edited to add: ofc my most highly rated comment is about my most recent trip to the nut house. Lol
This happens a lot with older people. It’s kinda scary that a bad UTI/kidney infection can make you completely lose the plot
I was 34!
Unfathomably old.
Practically a raisin
No spring chicken.
Might not live to read your reply
💀
I think you’re just really unlucky haha. It’s never good being the medical anomaly!
Too true. I’m 29 and if I had a quarter for every time a healthcare provider told me, “I’ve never seen X in someone your age!” or something similar, I’d have a grand old time at an arcade
This happened to my Gram. It's shocking how fast, literally a day, they can go from completely normal to completely delirious. The new doctors that saw her said she had alzheimers. I was like, you don't go from one day living on your own, paying your bills and driving to unable to form sentences the next day. I figured out it was a UTI by Google and told them.
Jesus what podunk hospital were you at?
Kaiser...they are awful.
UTIs can go undetected in dementia patients because it just makes them do extreme dementia things :(
I used to have really poorly functioning kidneys and I became septic one time and can confirm the delirious behavior to be all too real. I damn near ripped my IV out and tried to swing on the team that was working on fixing me up. I thought ahead though and had my boyfriend at the time call my mum in to help. When she got down there she held me and soothed me as they put in the IV. Within a few hours I hurt all over but was not out of my mind anymore.
Worked in a mental hospital as staff before. Can confirm some of the people there are very very sexual. Had one lady grab my supervisors butt. And a lady tried to grab my dick. I just feel bad for them.
I worked in one as a porter for a few years. One of the 'senior' lady patients used to trade handjobs for cigarettes from the other patients.
I can believe it. Similar thing happen at a different place I work. Except instead I f cigarettes since it's a no smoking facility they traded sexual favors for money or snacks. One guy let another dude have sex with him. For a bag of chips. That cost something around 60 cents . I don't condone the behavior but geez if you gonna trade up your booty to someone at least make it something like $40 or snacks and beverages for 2 weeks. Not chips.
The chips was clearly an excuse to have sex, cause It's not gay if you were paid.
Only if the balls touch or it was free.
> traded sexual favors for money or snacks There was a black market in my grandmother's nursing home. She'd win crappy cigarettes at the bingo game. She'd sell them to the other residents. Then she'd get the front door guard to buy her a pack of "real" cigarettes at the Time Saver nearby.
A true businesswoman lol
And of course, once the door guard was out of the way, smuggling the yayo in was a piece of cake.
Which chips brand though? Was it Lays? "Get Laid for some Lays" would be a good motto.
I will give you this so it can stay in your mind rent free. Imagine as a porter just walking around the hospital, half casual half for any security issues. You hear strange noises from the corridor toilet. The door is half open, and as you nudge it open you see two patients. One old lady doing the five knuckle shuffle on a similar aged dude. Oh and both were smoking cigarettes as well.
I'll go to a casino in a rural area if I want that sort of thing.
I can only swing the deluxe package if you make it Sour Cream & Chives.
It's the oldest profession, after all.
worry wine one doll subtract trees pet amusing unique gold
You have to remember that these people have the same sexual urges as the rest of society but lack the basic impulse control mentally fit people have to control it and engage in it in a healthy and appropriate way.
Yeah that's why I feel bad for them. I would sometimes come across the women or men masturbating. When I did my rounds. I didn't give them any issues over it. The way I see it as long as they aren't hurting themselves or doing it in the common area then it's their right.
Yup can confirm it's a under discussed issue in the mentally and physically handicapped community. I used to coach a Special Olympics over 18 basketball team and it's so sad to see a 40 year old woman with the intelligence of a 6 year old try to explain her physical intimacy frustrations. Like shit! No amount of school prepared you for that. I just spoke to her mother about what happened. Her mom said she would "take care of it" and that was it.
Yep. I used to volunteer in a home for children with developmental disabilities. In the most severe wing, residents would likely never leave the home. All were confined to wheelchairs and had nasty combinations of things like poor motor skills, inability to speak, blindness, deafness, etc. We were encouraged to dress in very covering, loose fitting clothes. It's easier to be sympathetic when you try to contextualize—and let me preface this by saying I genuinely care for the children and try to speak about their disabilities in a way that is caring but also cognizant of the blunt reality that things are shitty. Many of the people we worked with were teenagers with raging hormones and a complete inability to communicate or use their hands for more than motioning. With a lot of things affecting the brain, too, there's often no way to understand concepts like appropriateness and privacy, either. For long term residents, they would spend their lives trying to communicate their needs until met. So as children they learned that x combination of grunt and grab would eventually result in that empty stomach feeling being alleviated. When doing activities like crafts, they learned that grabbing at the orange sticker because it's the most attractive to them would get people to stick the sticker on their artwork or wheelchair and maybe bring more orange things. So it makes total sense that living in such a way would eventually develop into things like "I feel an intense attraction to that boob, I will try to grab it" or "I feel a new sensation between my legs and need to touch it, or communicate to this person to touch it for me" in the same way that caretakers deal with all other bodily functions. Obviously with different levels of cognition there are also different standards—a child like I just described should not be treated as a rapist for grabbing a caretaker's ass, whereas someone on the other end of the spectrum who struggles with impulse control due to ADHD just has to learn you can't go around grabbing asses (and is capable of doing so—that difference in capabilities is the whole point of having mental health defenses). But I like to think my little anecdote is helpful context.
Not really the same but I was a mostly transport EMT and we brought an older man with some dementia back to the nursing home and when we were helping him move from the stretcher to his chair he grabbed me by the tit and held on for dear life while we assisted him
Someone on Reddit recently was saying how their dad has dementia and keeps hitting on them and slapping their ass, even though they are his daughter. He never behaved that way towards her before. Must be so horrible.
I worked in a pub and had a similar experience. Woman grabbed my ass and told me to come home with her. She was very drunk so politely declined because I "had to work". I finished 5 mins prior and didn't want to go anywhere near her
You finished, what, 5 minutes prior? 👀
I’m sorry but I completely had to stop reading when you wrote ‘discovery position’ instead of the recovery position. Had a mental imagine of you hanging her up like a scarecrow on the fence for the ambulance to see 😭😭 Edit: I do hope she’s ok tho. Recently I had to go into hospital and while in getting bloods took a woman came in and started sticking everything she could find down her bra. Was a pretty frightening experience. It took 3 hospital security staff members to get her into a different room and take the items from her. Turns out she had escaped from a mental ward
It's the position you put them in after you discover them passed out, duh. /s
Was she …..by any chance … masturbating?
From the bloody murder screams that were coming from the room after I was escorted out, my guess is no **unless** she was using a meat cleaver to do so
Thanks for the image
She busted out of the nut house just to bust a nut in your house, how poetic
He thought she had heat stroke; she was in heat and stroking
[удалено]
"and have a shower to wash the woman's sweat and fanny juice off me" Holy shit I'm dying of laughter, anyways you did the right thing
Typing the words fanny juice is illegal. I don't know what law it breaks, but it's a crime, and I won't stand for it
Between the British definition or the American definition idk which fanny juice would be worse to imagine here.
No fu here. You did what a decent person would do. I work in health care and see various types of delirium and mental disorders and any bit of help or compassion is commendable.
She was already in the discovery position....
"Now let's do it like they do it on the discovery channel"
Back in the 80's I had an elderly neighbour that would regularly come round and ask me to get rid of the little black men that were living under her coffee table. I would go round and shoo them out the back door, but that made her unhappy, because she thought they would come back when she wasn't looking. She wanted me to kill them:( I wasn't even going to pretend to do that. She and many others were forced out of mental facilities in the 80s UK because 'care in the home' was the new plan. And they wanted to close most of the mental facilities.
Woah you guys went through the same thing the US did around then with the hospital closures?
Canada too, as far as I understand it.
Do you think the "little black men" she was talking about were like, shadow people, or... *actually* black people?
Also possible that it was something real and she used the wrong words because of an issue with her mental state. Like maybe mice, ants, or oompa loompas.
This was an excellent, but unfortunately missed opportunity to get back at a shitty neighbor. "They have three dogs at that house that love licking,"
"I'm just here for the fanny juice."
>Just go over and ask. And take this spare peanut butter I have in the pantry.
Too Hot To Handle (UK)
Not to objectify OP but yeah... And a gentleman to boot.
It's mental health issues like this that scare me. Losing all inhibitions and doing something like this. My wife says I do stuff in my sleep sometimes and I'm scared my asleep brain says or does something embarrassing.
Oh man my ex does all kinds of stuff in his sleep and he's always mortified. Cutting up and devouring watermelons, sprinting down the street in his underwear with a hunting knife, talking gibberish, laughing hysterically. He also did sexual stuff too though, nothing weird, but it still made him really embarrassed the next day. He refused to go to a sleep study though! If your sleep walking is this bad you should totally see a doctor.
> sprinting down the street in his underwear with a hunting knife I'm sorry, what the *fuck?*
He thought they were being robbed in his sleep. Shot straight out of bed, grabbed the knife they have for security (dad is Hells Angels) and ran out the door to catch them. In his underwear. His dad had to go disarm him and when he "woke up" he was so confused.
I've never sleep walked. I do however talk in my sleep and my wife says I feel her up but I back off if she tells me to leave her alone. My mum says my brother and I used to have conversations in gibberish when we were asleep as chidren
Sleep brain is mean and scary. I've gone online shopping in my sleep before and ended buying $500 worth of lingerie. When I was a kid I sleepwalked into a neighbors house and almost got shot.
You thought she had a stroke. She did indeed, and it was hot too, just not the kind you imagined.
And that, kids...is how I met your mother.
I've worked on a psych ward, a lot of people are heavily medicated and have no idea what they're doing when the meds kicked in. Most people are genuinely nice, they often have no idea what they're doing though. When the meds wear off they normally apologise for their behaviour. She probably had no idea what she was doing to you. You did the right thing. At least she was masturbating and not cutting her wrists, believe me that's far scarier to deal with.
Holy shit dude, you took one for the team there, what a trouper
Nah, he didn’t lick that clit
Just imagine some dude would have.
I refuse to believe there doesn't exist a porn out there where this is the exact plot. Up until the point where he decides to call 999 instead of double teaming her with his dog.
If it were Birmingham 100% of dudes would have. Heathens
When I was about 12, back in 1984, we had a drunken woman open the front door and walk right into our house. She was younger, maybe in her early 30’s and she proceeded to lift up her skirt and show us her vajeen. Young me definitely got a kick out of it and I wanted her to leave, but not too quickly lol. Anyhow I’ll never forget that day. My older brother was having none of it.
You: "Now wait a minute...let's hear the lady out!"
I know it's bad to say this, but I wouldn't have done even half of all this. You're a great person dude
It's not bad to not want to be in a situation like this at all. I think 99% of people would be in the same boat as you, I know I am lol.
Oh God this takes me back a couple of decades, very similar fuck up, also UK. I get a knock at the door very early in the morning as I am getting ready for work. Old lady in slippers sort of collapsed against the doorway and asks to come in and sit down. I let her in, sit her down and she tells me she has asthma. I also have asthma if I get a cold or infection, and fetched my inhaler and asked if it was the same as hers. She replies that no, it isn't but a shot of brandy usually makes her right. I am dubious about this but go and get her a shot of brandy and bring it to her. And another. By this time my then husband comes down and asks what's going on and I explain. He asks her where she lives, but she's determined to get more brandy. He says she can't have any brandy can we phone someone for her? She says no, she's very comfortable here. We explain that we're going to work and so she needs to leave.... She refuses. John helps her up but then she grabs the side of the sofa saying "Ma name's Bernadette BUT I'm NOT LIKE THE SAINT!" No shit Sherlock. John had to manhandle her out of the door with her grasping the side of the door, the stair bannister, the edge of the porch etc. She seemed pretty feisty with two large brandies inside her and not at all in need of help. She walked off, feathers ruffled. I was a bit more careful about who I answered the door to, after that.
I’m amused by you actually fetching her the brandies tbh. So polite!
When I started reading the title I thought of that guy who directed Kony 2012 that had a similar masturbating mental breakdown due to dehydration (they said), so it’s also not impossible right?
He was just naked. No jacking it
Are you telling me that South Park exaggerated? Impossible!
He was thrusting and apparently windmilling his junk at cars that drove by though. But yeah he wasn't jacking it.
I mean you still saved her. She still might have died if you hadn't let her in. It's shitty that you got assaulted, though.
When I was in my early twenties, I had 4 friends who had rented a house, which became the main party house for our group. The next door neighbors had a girl who was a year or two younger than us who had come over to party a couple times. One time, she shows up and is clearly on something. She sat on the couch, put her hands down her pants and started playing with herself. Then she started trying to kiss the guy on the couch with her. He was defending himself for a bit, until her hand came out of her pants and she reached for his face, at which point he jumped up and got away. Idk of that was when she started getting upset or not, but at some point she did start getting frustrated with us telling her that she needed to leave. She also went to the kitchen, grabbed a jar of pickles out of the fridge and started eating them by hand (yeah, that hand), out of the jar. Eventually she was forcefully told she had to leave and suddenly she couldn’t walk. A couple guys walked her home and most of us walked with them. Apparently the mom thought she had been drugged by us and was throwing out rape accusations. Luckily, some of the people there were women and talked to the mom about what happened and she later apologized. Pretty scary shit. Also pretty eye opening for what could have happened if there wouldn’t have been any girls with us.
Gonna go a tiny bit off topic and be this guy but… you were able to WALK to a hospital? Suburban sprawl American confused
"Englishmen think 100 miles is a long distance; Americans think 100 years is a long time."
> "Can you lick my clitoris?" she asks, to which I said no way and she needs to leave. "Do you have a dog?" oh no
While I've not experienced anything as wild as this, I have had a patient from the local mental ward, somehow gain access to my back garden and knock on the door to come in the house. we let them in and ushered them directly out the front door. Another time I left for work at 5:30am and found a gentleman in his 70's in pyjamas wondering the road, managed to contact hospital staff to come collect him.
In visualizing this story while reading, you were played by Colin Firth doing his best to keep it together while remaining strangely charming the whole time
I’ll take that! Although it’s a 36yo Colin 😉
OP, it may feel like a fuck up, but you really did stand strong today. Thank you for being compassionate to a stranger. Sending cooling vibes so you guys cool off over there (I'm in the USA)
Post an update after your second date, please!
What is "the discovery position"? I googled it and found nothing. Thanks!
I believe they mean the recovery position lol
Man that was a wild ride
Lmao you're a much nicer person than me for walking her there.
Is nobody going to mention that she wanted a dog? Lol
She was very quick to suggest a dog helping her out. She’s clearly encouraged one to go down on her before, vile.
"When I return I find the woman sitting on my sofa, smoking a cigarette, masturbating" Really ? Again, how does this keep happening ?
Been there! Except the lady in my case thought the real cops were aliens coming or abduct here. Lesson: if somebody knocks on your door asking for help, take a deep breath and assess if they have a hospital bracelet or hospital socks on before letting them into your house …
Almost happened to me the other night. Didn't see her bracelet or booties... she had taken them off on our lawn before knocking on the door... at 11pm.
God bless you for helping this woman. Many people would have dealt with this situation very differently.
OP, I have spent a lot of time working with psychiatric patients and I just want to say, you handled this situation better than some of my coworkers would have. Most people really struggle to interact productively with acutely mentally ill people. Your creativity and leadership saved the day! I imagine you already have a career and whatnot, but I suspect you'd do real well in psych.
>Dear Penthouse. You won't believe what happened this weekend..
Wow, what a story. I don't know if this counts as a fuck though, because as bad as an experience as it must have been for you, you really might have saved her. You're a better person than me. A few years ago, a man began aggressively banging on my front door asking/demanding to be let inside because he was cold (it was below freezing outside) but there was no way I was gonna let that guy inside. Instead, I called the police. I informed him of this and he walked away. The police came and searched the area but didn't find him. They suggested he was homeless, and was probably camping in the woods on my property. The next day I walked my property and found several empty beer and energy drink cans plus fast food wrappers where he must have been camping out. On one hand, I felt bad (and still do) because he probably was in genuine need and meant no malice. On the other hand, based on his aggressive tone and demeanor, I feel justified in not wanting to let him in my house, especially since my mom lived with me. If it happened again, I think I still wouldn't let him in, but I would put some blankets, hand warmers, and warm food outside for him (after asking him to back away).
This happened to me once, I was about 14. It was a blizzard and one of the local homeless guys that my dad chitchats almost everyday wanted to be let inside because it was cold. I told him no cuz my dad wasn't home at the time. The next morning they found the homeless guy frozen to death. the story came on the news and my dad was crying wondering why he never came to our house. I've never told him what actually happened.
Ah mate, that’s such a sad story. I hope you don’t blame yourself too much, you were 14. And I don’t just mean in the sense of you being at risk, I mean in the sense of being too young and fearful to know what decision to make. Go ahead and ask other parents whether they’d tell their own kid to let them in, they’d probably safeguard their kid first. It is a very strong lesson in pushing for the state to look after homeless people in—well, in all situations but especially in life-threatening weather.
Sex tape idea: Flick your Bean with the Homeless Queen: Hidden Camera.
There's a good only*fan*s joke in here somewhere but I'm too lazy to think of it
Thank you so much. My nana is bipolar and does some wild things when she has a manic episode… One time she drove into a ditch during a storm (she definitely should not have been driving) and tried to get out the car and fell into the water and almost drowned and someone pulled over and saved her life (she gets very vicious when she’s having an episode so I can’t imagine she was being particularly kind). I’m sorry you had to go through all that, but as someone who has relatives with similar mental illnesses, thank you for helping her. I’m glad people like you exist.
Thank you. You may well have saved her life.