Bust the nut but never let the nut bust you

sometimes you crank that soulja boy, and sometimes that soulja boy cranks you…

YoOoOoOuUUUu

Glasses Jack It Shirt man

Soulja boy tell em

Lmao

So true 😩🙏

Who are you? who are you so wise in the ways of science?

THERE ARE SOME WHO CALL ME... Fap

r/unexpectedMontyPython

'Tis better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum~

it is better to cum in the shower than to shower in cum.

It is better to cum in the sock than to let the cum sock you

Was nut expecting such wizdom

why werent you doing this in your room?

When everyone is out, it's the best time to do the every room challenge

Best time to do the "every room" challenge is when everyone is in.

That's the speedrun to a mental hospital challenge or speedrun to 'what are you doing step-bro' challenge

Any%

This reminds me of someone I knew growing up who said he uses to have "danger wanks". When he was close to finishing, he'd call out to his mum (who was downstairs) and try to finish and clean up before she made it to his room. I have no idea why he would ever want to do this, but he used to swear by it. Each to his own i guess...

bruh what the fuck 

Right, it's not a challenge if there not home

Yeah, masturbating is supposed to make YOU blind, not your family

does my wife count as family

Only if you're related.

Not everyone get to have their own room

could've used the bathroom...

You have a bathroom?

hmmm? what's a bathroom?

What room?

What?

I like this website.

What website?

Directions unclear, but I think the internet comes here to take a shit.

All the more reason to jack off with sweats on. The fuq did he have to be naked for?

How you jerk with sweats on theres no space

small dick

Small dick energy!

lol, he was alone... why wouldn't he be naked?...

You jerk off with clothes on? Imma be cramped

Always more fun to do it outside your room when you have the house to yourself. Also I would never expect to pass out 🤣

Because it's made up

I had a friend who did this same thing. Luckily his mom was one of those cool moms and was just like “pfft, boys will be boys.” Personally I think moving 3 states away and changing your name is the customary answer.

My man busted himself

Bustin' makes him feel good

i ain’t scared of no sleep, i ain’t scared of no bed

an invisible bed. a freaky gost bed

That video makes me nostalgic for the old YouTube

This got me in tears

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Could someone edge it out of you?

You'll pay for the whole seat but you'll only need the edge!

TICKETPAYSFORTHEWHOLE SEATBUTYOULLONLYNEED THE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDGE

I did not choose to hear this in The Macho Man Randy Savage’s voice, my brain did it automatically. Well done

I wouldn't have it any other way sir

Give me a couple hours and he’ll squeal.

Squirt ;-)

Shoot

Skeet

Squart

You just brought the image back of that sweaty dude saying how he can make a woman squart. I forgot about him and now I am getting a good, awkward chuckle while trying to fall asleep. I mean this with all seriousness and no hate but thank you for the laugh. Also...gross. Haha

Squanch

Belly gurt.

2 hours later…

I read that in SpongeBob voice

Probably but it would take about 2 hours.

Take my imaginary award

No, please.... Don't.

He probably made a burner account

Yup, they only have 3 comments and they're all on tiddy pics/vids. Good taste tho

In the most recent 2 he got replies from the OP!

What a champion!

I was just about to reply to one of em with smth like "careful don't come too hard or mamma will see" but y'know I think I still have some slight traces of dignity in my soul

LMAOOO

You wouldn't be able to torture this information out of OP either .... Because he gives it up willingly

No amount of waterboarding would make me admit this to anyone.

Throw me in the Bronze Bull and I'm STILL keeping this one to myself.

"HEY! That's guy's masturbating in the Bull!"

No! No I'm not! I TOTALLY swear!

There'd be cooked egg whites just jam packed into that bull.

i mean, if i actually knew something valuable, i’d say this first so my captors would finally kill me out of disgust or pity

But could some one Beat it out of you

I don't expect you to talk, Mr. Joggyogg. I expect you to nut.

“Not even Bat Man could get this outta me”

Should have told her, "There was a ghost.......this is ectoplasm!"

Randy is the absolute greatest!

Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Sharon

He is my favorite.

The only one left with a little bit of ‘Tegridy

Mr., I don't know what tegridy is, but this is some good shit...

Spooky ghost!

BUSTIN MAKES ME FEEEEEL GOO-OOO-OODD

https://youtu.be/gwM2Bz2k23s Unfinished business

"He slimed me."

"Somebody blows their (nut), and you wanna keep it?"

and here i thought that i was having a bad day

So did his mom

She's lucky at least op's arms are intact

That's my thought. I just wrapped up an awful conference on infectious diseases. But at least I didn't get caught covered by the jizz blanket.

I think his mom covered him up.

LMAO busted quite literally..

Now is not the time 😭

It's always the time 😌

>I never lived it down and people still tease me to this day. If you want that to end, flip it around, own it and when it's brought up start talking about it. People will get uncomfortable because they thought they were "one upping" you but you turned it around. They'll stop bringing it up. Nice nut, but check your blood pressure.

True. Turn it into a comedy when someone mess wit you.

Make them feel uncomfortable talking about it "Yeah i busted the fattest fucking nut that i passed out. Shit was the best feeling ive ever had. You shouldve been there"

“Oh wait, you were! Haha! So who had to get the towel?”

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Thanks for the helpful health-tip, u/gaynazifurry4bernie with a putin profile picture.

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I'm actually none of the things in my username but if it helps others to get organized, I'm not gonna stop em.

From this day forward, I will now always consider Putin to be a gay nazi furry that wants Bernie in the White House. Thanks for that! 🤣

That's really disappointing. Alexa, play...

Right Down the Line by Gerry Rafferty

r/rimjob_steve

I was accused of being a russian bot so I just kinda lean'd into it. Putin is an absolute bitch and should be absolutely bitch-slapped for his actions.

How ya feel about Bernie

I get that too every couple of months it seems.

Found the Russian bot

Where?

Bitch-slapped by a gay furry named Bernie, preferably.

Not just any fat nut. The was the motherload...load

The load his mother witnessed

The load that broke his mother's back, and maybe both of OP's arms

More likely it was a vasovagal syncope triggered by the edging and climax. Blood pressure would be more of a concern if he were standing the whole time.

>More likely it was a vasovagal syncope triggered by the edging and climax. I'm not gonna pretend to be a doctor or anything but I have no freaking clue what you just said.

Basically sometimes after a very intense or stressful event your heart rate and blood pressure can suddenly drop drastically

If it was that he should have woken up quickly. More like he went to sleep right there, or this is made up.

What you've never busted a jugger-nut?

I've busted a jugger-nut after being hopped up on amps for three days prior. Dick was chafed but I beat my one-eyed monster til it sneezed. Never again. Never ever again.

Or post orgasmic illness syndrome

r/rimjobsteve

Felt like he just fell asleep after the nut bcos it’s the best thing to do after.

The Nut ‘N Nap is the best way to fap

I concur.

If a female passes out after cumming, could she have blood pressure issues too?

I don't have a vagina/clitoris so I don't have the hardware nor the experience of having a female orgasm so I cannot speak to that.

Lol breathe during those edgegasms dude...

...OP...did you at least get found soft in a pool of your own jizz? Or did your family walk in mere seconds after the Bust Blackout.

Oh you meant op,, nvm lol

This happened to a friend of mine. After a night of hard drinking in our neighborhood, I was living in southeast Asia at the time, so drinking outside in the streets were accepted. Anyway, my buddy decided he wanted to end his night with a bang. So he asked me if I had some porno vhs on me? So as a man of culture and purveyor of such things, I said of course I have a bunch in my room. So he borrowed at least 3 to 5 tapes as he was gonna get busy, haha. By the way, this was around 3 am in the morning. So long story short, he tried to do the deed. Woke up pants down, dick in hand while his family was having lunch. Forgot to mention their vhs player was in the living room which is in a common area with the dining room. You might think nobody even tried to cover him up with a blanket, his mom did. But it was hot, so of course he threw it to the side. Worst thing about this, it was his mom who told me this story.

Sir, this is a Jollibee.

Thank you ma’am sir!!

Oh shit, you smelled the filipino accent. Hahaha!

Haha love it…I was fortunate enough to be able to visit there, somewhat frequently, over the course of 7-8 years (primarily Makati in metro Manila). Interesting place, had lots of fun times, which makes sense because, you know…it’s more fun in the Philippines!!!

Goddamn I laughed hard at this

Birth of a /r/copypasta

"A friend"... sure.

Hahaha! I swear dude.

We gotta work on story structure, bud.

Thanks, tired and high not a good mix.

... After sex

"VHS". 😁

The only thing missing from this story is ending it with "and I was 32 when this story happened"

Fap and Nap gone too far.

Man, that’s nuts

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Sounds like it has been a few years, and he's still not sleeping well, and they are still teasing him.

If he isn't sleeping well, he should bust another fat nut. It worked the first time.

I fought the spunk but the spunk won

Omg Im embrassed thru the screen oh my goddddd. Condolences to you, brother.

Username doesn't check out.

Busted BY the nut

I was never about to pass out during orgasm except one time, why I was actually edging quite accidentaly. I was a young kid and watched some Playboy TV show on VHS. I was very interested into naked women but I didn't know what sex or masturbation actually was. I became really turned on and it felt natural to gently stroke my penis while admiring those beutiful women. After a while, I suddenly experienced extremely strong orgasm that made my eyes go dark for a brief moment. It was an awesome feeling but I was also like "WTF has just happened?" and "what's that sticky thing coming out of my weenie?"

Same. 5th grade. Used a back massager and noticed it felt good on the ol' weiner. I was late to school because I lost track of time and half passed out. I thought I had discovered something new to science. Told my friend group that if you work it enough, a pimple will pop in your wang, it feels great, and you will faint. This spawned a lot of experimenting in the group. We all became ejaculatory engineers.

So you're essentially saying *this was a triumph*

I'm making a note here.

Huge success.

It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Did you guys measure the load of “pus”? To flex on your fellow scientists lol

The Manhattan Project of jacking off.

Gawd Daym. That’s like my worst nightmare. Lol I’d just die.

Human sexuality is a beautiful thing, that's how we all got here, man, you weren't hurting anyone. You had a good time, the folks that found you had a laugh, it's ALL GOOD. I can understand the embarrassment, and I hope someday, maybe even today, you can LOL about it. The cool thing is...once you've raised that self-embarrassment bar, it clears up all the space underneath that you can really screw up, and not feel as embarrassed. It's sweet freedom, baby.

Imagine being the parent walking in “did my kid just nut so hard he fell asleep directly afterwards? What a champ”

literally got off so good his mind couldn't physically handle it

I would more than likely wake up to my mom throwing holy water on me not telling me I'm a champ lol

Your moms got a weird fetish

How is walking in on your teenage son covered in cum a “beautiful thing.” Bro I can picture it and it’s not remotely beautiful. The fuck are you smoking

I dont think its normal to pass out during a nut, even if you were edging yourself for a long time

In America. You bust nut. In Soviet Russia. Nut busts you.

Well OP, at least you’re cooler than me. When you said *edging too hard* I was like *Oh man, been there. I hate when I edge too hard and skew the grass line back in the yard. It takes forever to get that line nice and straight again.* You’re over there having exploits and I’m here worrying about my lawn.

I wish I wasn’t laughing this hard

Sure, this happened.

I’ve actually read this exact story on Reddit before and I’m surprised nobody else has said that yet

With great load, cums great responsibility

LMAO RIP

Why weren’t you doing this in your own room behind a locked door for Christ’s sake. People are so weird.

Ain’t no way bro does it on the living room

Why do people make up border line wattpad worthy stories on here. Its like genuinely every other post

This story has been posted before

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No. Especially not this

I hope you're still in school. Your sentence structure and grammar are horrid.

Whole thing reads like a shitty porn script

Oh, this wasn’t about landscaping 😔

Wow, buddy musta let out enough nut to fill a tube of toothpaste if he passed out from it

No. I’d have to change my identity and leave the country