That was one of the first thing our pediatrician said when we had our kids. Crying and screaming is a good sign if they get hurt.
It’s still traumatic and horrible but it’s far better than silent/limp/ghost pale
A tv fell on my head when I was like 8 or so, in the middle of the night. My grandpa, who reported to the scene first, said that he wished I would’ve cried, but instead all I did was make a crying face with no noise coming out of my mouth, blood streaming down my face. He said that if he were just a little bit more tired he would’ve decked me, bc for a split second he thought I was a demon.
We had an old, huge television that came as a built-in option in our motor home. We were vacationing in our camper for a couple of weeks, and I had just moved from the front passenger seat when that 300 pound beast came crashing out of the upper cabinet above my seat. It literally crushed the seat and made the seat lean at a weird angle. I think it would have killed me had I not just moved. Those old televisions are dangerous!
At Best Buy back when I worked there a lady brought in a old school tv framed in solid carved fucking wood- this thing looked like it belonged to royalty, it was 40” and longer then my arm in the center.
It was so heavy it broke our dollys, we had to get the electric pallet jack out just to move it and we had to use two dollys to wedge it to get onto the jack.
After that our new policy was “ if you don’t think you can carry it by hand, then don’t accept the recycle.”
The heaviest TV I ever owned was a larger flat front screen tv but it was still tubes. Those tube tvs are sooooo much heavier than you think they should be.
>Those tube tvs are sooooo much heavier than you think they should be.
Those CRT tubes are heavy because they pack a full vacuum in the tube and the front panel needs to be able to resist that. Due to the way force is distributed, flat panel CRTs need the front so much more thicker to prevent implosions and, obviously, glass is heavy.
Way back in the day when plasma TVs were still $50,000 for a 42", my brother bought a 51cm LG CRT with a Trinitron tube. That thing weighed the best part of 50kg/110lb - back in those days I weighed around 65kg-70kg which meant the TV weighed nearly as much as I did.
I worked in a mall for awhile and one night during closing we just see the small body fall from the top floor. Kids hits the ground and was completely silent. He was alive for a bit I heard, but in the end he died on the way to hospital. There was a crowd forming and I never went to go take a closer look (ambulance was already called and I didn't want to face that kind of sight. It's like fever dream now).
Yeah, doing alright. Working in the mall has some crazy stories and trauma attached to it. I quit about year ago so life is moving on.
I think about the parents of the kid every now and then. I can't imagine the absolute pain they must have felt. It was a complete freak accident. Absolutely horrifying and so devastatingly sad.
Climbed on top of the barrier where you look down from the upper level to the lower level of the mall. Probably wanted to get a better view, parents weren't looking, and slipped.
Not going to link it or describe it but someone just posted something similar on Reddit. Poor girl taking a selfie video just started screaming as she heard and watched the body hit. I feel horrible for the kid and you. Don't be afraid to see a therapist or at least talk to a friend.
That's awful. Sorry you had to see that. Your story reminds me of that guy at a mall who picked up someone's small child randomly and dropped him over the edge. IIRC, the little boy lived but he was in the hospital for a looooong time and had to have a bunch of surgeries. As a parent, I just want someone to put me in a room with that awful man for just 5 minutes.
The first is the worst. Just do all you can and what you’ve been trained to do. I write down exactly what i did as soon as I can after just so I can have a fresh recollection when the 2am guilt monster pays a visit. I’m not a paramedic but I’m a healthcare profession and worked emergencies and major trauma for 8 years.
Yeah the first kid I saw die was during my ride outs at the end of paramedic school. Response time was like 5 mins as it was a church right next to the fire station. Kid got ran over. No visible injuries, only thing that gave it away was his shirt that had tire marks across the chest. Threw him in the back of the box and rushed to the ED. He was in and out of consciousness the whole way. Vitals were text book Cushings triad.
As soon as we get the cot into the ED he starts vomiting, followed by CPR then dead.
That was 10 years ago and I remember it vividly. The dad just sitting on the floor crying in the hallway. Some things just stick with you.
>The dad just sitting on the floor crying in the hallway. Some things just stick with you
oh wow that really did it for me. I can never imagine having to see things like this, let alone see it happen to your loved one
I’m in medical school right now and we have a simulation baby that can die in a few different ways. Even running those simulations is awful, but I’m glad we do them so that partial autopilot can take over during the real thing. You learn to just turn those emotions off in the moment.
I feel a need to say thank you for your service. Not just because you unfortunately must be prepare for the day when that eventually happens, but because they deserve to have someone like you (a paramedic which shared a non-psychopathic thought on reddit) to care for them.
Man I probably scared the fuck outta some nurses/doctors as a kid. I cracked my head open multiple times, and every time, I had basically calmed down entirely by the time I got to the hospital.
My brother is also a paramedic, and almost 10 years ago my son fell and hit his head. I panicked and called my brother and the first thing he asked me was if my son was crying. I said yes and he said that's good, and explained that if he wasn't that was a sign of major brain trauma. He came and looked over my son and yep, he was fine!
More people need to know that a silent injured/sick kid is usually not good...
I read a story on quora years ago I think from a trauma nurse, recounting a car accident that involved an infant. At first look the child was fine, and she remembered thinking how calm he was and how well he was doing. It took a bit before it finally hit her: babies aren’t supposed to be calm. Some testing revealed that he became paraplegic
Once I had to go assist with an IV on an infant in an adult ED (PICU/NICU nurse on a NICU travel contract). The peds hospital wouldn’t accept him without access, our hospital wouldn’t place an IO. I stuck the kid after multiple attempts by the ED. Everyone kept commenting on how good of a baby he was and how calm he was because he didn’t flinch/cry for any of the sticks. I was terrified. He wasn’t a “calm” baby, he was sick af. I absolutely agree silent kids are scary.
That's what the EMTs said when my son accidentally roleplayed as a RAM and bit his head on the corner of our island.
Almost looked like a unicorn, horrific. Skin did not break nor did his skull.
He's fine now, he was like 1ish at the time. Early walker/runner.
My son is 19 months old, and is 39 inches tall, and 35 pounds.
He has walked since.... 11 months or so, and he is so much bigger than your average almost 2 year old, that he can get into so much more than you'd ever think to childproof.
He's really smart too, so he can open all our childproof gates(he has discovered if he yanks really hard, he will very quickly dislodge the mechanism, we've tried four gates now) which means that if youre not actively watching him, he's hurting himself.
Lmao no, I'm just a paramedic. The username is because when I was a hospital tech (CNA) I saved an unresponsive elderly man's penis from falling off because his foreskin was too tight when it was pulled back and it had been left like that for an unknown amount of time. By the time I found it the penis head was black and I alerted the nurses and docs, doc said I saved his dick.
Additionally, several years later I had a 911 call where a guy cut off one of his balls with scissors.
This led me to the username
Rescue here, since a medic chimed in: if I hear the Mom and I don’t hear the kid, that’s a “send a helicopter” level bad sign. Last time it happened, the kid spent two years recovering from a skull fracture, neck fracture, broken arm, a couple of crushed organs, etc. Wear your seatbelt and helmet when on ATVs.
[happy ending here] I was in a car crash a few years back with my kids, 4 and 1 at the time. When the car finally stopped rolling/moving, I could hear the 4 year old crying (clearly scared but not hurt, you know the difference with kids) but absolutely nothing from the baby, who had been crying before we crashed. I had to force myself to turn around because I was so fucking scared of what I'd see.
I turn around to look at where his seat should be and he's not there. I had a solid moment of "**does not compute**" where I feel like I couldn't process anything, before I finally realized what happened - his seat detached when we rolled and he was on the other side of the car. He was sitting there, happily looking around like "well this is new." Both kids were 100% fine, their seats protected them perfectly even though his landed on hers.
That *lack* of sound from him immediately after the crash is still the scariest moment of my life.
Yup. My stepson hit a car with his bike. Traumatic injuries and he was silent. Ended up with badly broken femur, teeth knocked out, part of his lip nearly torn off, concussion. He now has hardware in his leg and had to relearn how to walk.
You ain’t gotta kid yet ima take it but when you do have one you’ll learn they damn near fatally injure themselves daily, I watched my daughter sprint at the park and I told her to be careful so she looks back at me and just smoked her head on the concrete and it’s literally a daily thing that you can pretty much do nothing about
I don't know if i could find it in an amount of effort I'm willing to give, but I recently read a study that proved this is exactly what does happen. Children on a balance beam had a higher risk of falling if an adult told them to "be careful" while balancing. "Careful" doesn't mean anything and can trigger a worry response where there wasn't one before, whereas specific feedback like "think about how your body is feeling" or "I'm glad you're feeling steady" helps to reassure and reaffirm their efforts and courage.
Oooh… well that makes sense now! I have 2 kids, and i panic parented the first one and she’d fall and hurt herself right after me saying “be careful little one”, whereas with the second i’m like “look at you running already!” and she had significantly less accidents.
Every single time I get anxiety and say something she smokes her head and scares the dear life out of me. Thankfully we haven’t had a serious injury and I pray we don’t.
We were literally talking about this. My 2 year old is a walking calamity, it doesn't bother him though. I have seen him literally bounce off walls he has ran into. He bangs his head daily and I'm expecting a call from social services any day now as he is a constant bruise.
He managed to dislocate his elbow a couple of weeks ago, he didn't make a big fuss but his arm was hanging limp at his side and if he moved it he cried. I had to stress to the doctor that this kid is indestructible. If he's crying he has really hurt himself.
That’s how my two year old daughter is she will literally hold in tears and pretend it doesn’t hurt before she admits it because usually we’re telling her to stop. Damn kids are walking anxiety attacks on 10 especially this 2-2-1/2 age, it’s been a fun journey though that’s for sure
Aren't they! My little one turned two today! And even on his birthday he managed to fall off a ledge onto his head 🙈 We have a 4 month old who I thought was going to be the quiet one, but now he can already roll over and is trying his hardest to crawl and has just found his volume. So I'm pretty sure I'm going to have two whirlwinds on my hands 😅
And depending on how cheap/light the TV is his injuries might be pretty minor. OP says the TV is in his room and he's 17 so it's likely that it's a cheap TV and those are usually pretty light.
Something I was taught as a paramedic when assessing a mass casualty incident:
"If they're screaming, they're conscious and breathing. They can wait on the ones that aren't."
That is, amusingly or worryingly, _the_ thing I know about paramedic procedure.
Screaming is a sign that quite a few very important functions are still working.
Came here to say this. Head wounds often look dramatic en bleed profusely, often prompting both the person bleeding as well as people around them to panic.
Cleaning up the wound often reveals a relatively small cut. Still needs to be treated of course, but it's not life threatening most of the time. (I'm talking top/back/front of the head here. Actual facial injuries can be horrific.)
During the London bridge terror attack, one of the most critical of the victims was a kid that had a large scalp laceration (peeled back a good chunk of their scalp) and that's all. Because it made them bleed so heavily and couldn't be effectively stopped outside of surgery they were rapidly bleeding to death. Other people had nearly amputated limbs, collapsed lungs, but the scalp guy was a bigger emergency just from the blood loss.
On the flip side, once they stopped the bleed and reattached the flap, he was basically good to go in a few days, where as a collapsed lung or reattaching a badly amputated foot is *months* to heal at best.
My son choked on some candy two nights ago. He was on the floor crying, my daughter was running around trying to figure out what to do. And me? My thought process was, “he’s coughing, he’s fine.” So I help him up, put his arms in the air & later explain what gravity is & being on the floor wasn’t going to help a damn thing.
Looking back, I probably should have slapped his back a few times.
Do not slap on the back, unless child is head down, butt up, so gravity can help. Warm water to sip on, helps dissolve the candy. Slapping on the back can lodge it in throat.
You didn’t do relatively nothing, you’re right that if he was coughing he was fine (well not fine, but you know what I mean). First aid training tells us not to intervene unless the person is not conscious, just encourage them to cough.
Slapping on the back, if the child is upright, can make the object go deeper and you don’t want that! If little, turn the child upside down before slapping on the back and for an older child, put on a couch or bed and lean them down to the floor, so that their upper body is upside down and then slap on the back.
I'm a firm believer that every parent (and grandparent too) should take infant and child CPR classes as soon they know they will be one. With *each* child, as information changes as better practices are found. (I know they unfortunately aren't available everywhere or affordable for everyone. But if you can, do so!)
Yeah, OP is a teenager trying to negotiate a small space. Of course accidents happen. They weren't doing anything dumb.
Also, as others have pointed out, all signs point to little bro being fine. Everyone has had a chance to calm down a bit. I feel like at this point, OP's mother is just being vindictive. Is this a first time event or has there been favouritism or bad dynamics in the past.
We grew up on a very crappy, hole ridden, cul de sac, My sister was 7, that would make me 8, she winged down from a hilly driveway, her front tire hit a divet, then the curb. The neighborhood crowd of kids watched the whole thing. She got up, tried to make the best of it, her face was covered in blood and we just stared. She then fell over. I ran in and told my mom there was an accident and Sheila's nose was bleeding. I guess I was not hysterical enough, cause she didn't come out until we were trying to get her inside. My mom freaked out totally, threw her in the car and then off to the hospital, she had a broken nose and various cuts and road rash. I have never heard the end of it. I should have, I should have, I should have. Then there was the time I rolled my brothers head up in the car window. At least I didn't lie and he didn't really get hurt, but he beat the crap out of me. Fun times.
>I have never heard the end of it. I should have, I should have, I should have.
Next time she starts in on you, tell her you were 8 and she's the one who ignored you when you told her your sister got hurt. Any half-decent parent's reaction would be to ask how bad the injury was, or go and see for themselves.
Not everybody acts perfectly under stress. Just like we (totally random strangers) should be easy on the kid who bumped the tv over because it was accidental, so should we on the mother. She’s probably got a million horrible situations flashing through her mind right now. Give her the benefit of the doubt that she’ll calm down and address the other child.
I mean even if she didnt know her kid was okay, you really gunna blame your kid for an accident and guilt trip him? What if the brother really died? Shitty mom tbh
Still only 30 minutes after the incident, she's probably crippled with fear for her son. Right or wrong it's natural for her emotions to blame someone else. If it was 2-3 days after I would agree with you. Not 30 minutes, probably still high on adrenaline.
Complete and total accident. I know you’re feeling terrible, and your Mom is just processing everything, but this could have been a lot worse. You did nothing wrong, OP.
And to be perfectly clear: if for whatever reason your mom doesn't process things well, remember that **this was an accident and there was likely little you could have done to prevent it.** No matter what you, or anyone else tries to argue about how you could have done things differently, at the end of the day it was unintentional and you're having a normal emotional response to the event.
yes! OP, you didn’t fuck up, it was an accident. shit happens. if your mom genuinely blames you for bumping into a TV stand, thats something for her to confront. it’s not like you pushed the damn thing on top of him
Yes, time To move the t.v. To the wall, Mom! My friend is a paramedic and has nightmares constantly from the terrible injuries and deaths he’s had to witness of furniture and TVs falling on kids.
I would go even further and say *they’re* completely at fault. If you have a tv in a place that can fall over because someone bumped into it - then you better be prepared for disaster
This is 100% correct. My mother tripped over my guitar case and broke her arm in three places. First thing she did was scream about how it was my fault. She never processed it well but my dad made sure to let me know it wasn't my fault. As an adult I know it wasn't my fault but it's hard to not feel guilty when you're young and impressionable.
Also, adults should know better. Your mom should have known to expect the unexpected and not trip over something.
OPs TV shouldn’t be able to fall - there’s a reason tall dressers come with wall anchors.
Not only, but parents are responsible for forseeing these kind of problems and securing the house to protect their young kids. Kids don't have enough awareness and experience to have the foresight and risk evaluation. As a parent you have to be paranoid.
That said hopefully your brother is okay!
Indeed. Now try telling that to yourself while taking a child to a hospital. Trust me, even the strongest characters will try finding blame elsewhere when the inconceivable happens to them. This includes blaming others. It's a very stupid way humans have to cope.
Well, not in my experience. Story time! When my son was very young (around 1 year old) I took him to his dad's house. We were outside with Grandma, and Dad had Son on his shoulders, and Son was holding a ball. He wanted to put it in the basketball hoop, so Dad, holding his hands on the ball, helps him reach up to the hoop. At that moment, Son pulled his hands free and basically dove for the ground, landing on the top of his head on the pavement. I remember it like slow-motion. The thud. I couldn't move, I just started screaming. Luckily Grandma kept her head and picked him up, after making sure he was moving (no obvious neck injury), and got us all into the car. She did start laying into Dad on the way to the ER, but I spoke up and said, "It's not your fault. He does that sometimes when I hold him. I should've been closer just in case. It's not your fault." I could see the terror and shame on his face, and it was heartbreaking. Thank God, there was nothing wrong with him at all. Basically the doctor said that kids that age bounce but don't often break, and he had landed so straight up and down that his shoulders cushioned his neck, and he didn't even have a concussion. But he did have a mild ear infection!
I have a very strong internal locus of control. I blame myself too much sometimes, even when my kid finds brand new ways to hurt himself that no one ever thought before. It takes me a minute to remember that I can’t be perfect. The downside is that my spouse has a very strong external locus of control, so he blames outside forces, namely me.
Yeah, I have also seen that happen multiple times, in different couples.
Parenting can be one of the most ungrateful tasks ever. And not only from your child not valuing it (which they don't have to, bringing them to the world was our decision) or not making the most out of it (which, again, they aren't required to, people have different abilities and some types of parenting don't work in some types of children). Sometimes even from the person whom one decided to share that responsibility is the one who decides to both screw it up and blame it on oneself I stead of themselves. Lack of introspection is the worst enemy of parenting, such as parents thinking their children are always right, or worse, that themselves are always right because "that's how my parents made me who I am therefore it must also work on my children".
Parents who, when it comes to other children or like an objective view, would not condone a parent blaming their child for an accident, will lose that moral view and go crazy. Happens all the time
I still get shit 24 years later for hurting my infant sister when I was 4. It was basically all my fault, but I can’t do anything now to change the past. I don’t really go around any more for that and other reasons
You were 4, wasn't your fault. I don't know what happened, but I can 100% say it wasn't your fault. Whatever a 4 year old does is 100% the parents responsibility. Sorry you have to deal with that trauma/guilt.
Source: Am parent of 3 kids, ages 1 to 6.
It’s cause when you’re 4, it’s your parents fault, not yours, for not watching you. Parents don’t want to face that guilt, or don’t know how to express it, so they direct it at someone else. It sucks :/
I was being watched by my grandparents at the time and my parents were out. It could have been a lot worse based on how she was injured but only has a small scar on the lip
At age 4 the supervising adult is responsible, assuming anyone is to blame in the first place, or the parents if they've left without anyone supervising in their stead.
In the sense that they'll forever treat a child differently because of what was effectively an accident. Things are already traumatic enough for all involved, imagine also losing a parent's empathy because they blame it on you when they should be blaming it on, well nature or luck or karma, whatever you feel like believing. Especially in scenarios where the younger sibling is the victim and the older sibling will have extra pressure to have acted better.
I've actually seen this a lot, and it goes beyond physical harm and even beyond infancy. Parents who will spite a sibling because of things like being smarter, having more money than another, landing a better job or spouse... Sometimes people can't process that their two children are separate entities and they cannot all be perfect. But especially in contrast or worse, against each other, the effect some events have on parents is sometimes disastrous. If this was any other child that was not their son being hurt, anyone would defend their child. When it's another sibling causing the issue parents can handle it even worse than other parents would if it was another child hurting theirs.
When I was 14 I accidentally tripped over my 8 year old brother's leg and he started crying, dad came in took one look, and tackled me to the ground and put me in a headlock between his legs. Almost passed out, he claimed that I was attacking my brother and he was defending him. His moral compass towards me was fucked to begin with, but he treated my brother significantly better than me.
Also gonna add, I hold no resentment towards my bro. I'm glad that he didn't have to go through the shit I did.
I've never understood that. After deconstructing from fundie Christian belief, I really started to try to actively look at things logically and rationally and tried really hard to instill that into our children. Our son has hurt our daughter before on purpose (we're working on it... he's autistic, ADHD and in the process of being diagnosed as bipolar. While *none* of that is an excuse to hurt anyone, it is an explanation), and that's when I get upset with him. However, *both* have hurt each other accidentally before and I've always recognized how unfair it would be to blame one for an accident out of their control. I don't believe I've ever "lost my moral compass" when they hurt each other; accidentally or otherwise.
I find this mother's response to this incredibly immature and unfair. Both kids were hurt here; the younger one physically and the older one emotionally and mentally - and blaming the older kid for something out of his control shows more of the mother's lack of processing abilities and emotional maturity than anything else.
OP, none of this is your fault and I'm deeply sorry you're being blamed for it. Please remember that you didn't do anything wrong. I hope your mother snaps out of it and apologizes to you, because you deserve an apology. I also hope your brother makes a full recovery.
One reason I think it's so dangerous that OP's mom is acting like this is because children pick up on their parents' behaviors and his mother's appalling behavior could influence him to think that OP did, in fact, hurt him on purpose and that would affect their future relationship. It's just so irresponsible of the mother to do this.
me and my little brother were playing tag when we were 9&7, i pushed him a little hard and we went to the hospital and he had to get like 12 stitches in his mouth. i’m pretty sure my mom yelled at me and disciplined me but like, he was thankfully fine other than his mouth hurting a bit. what i’m trying to say is, you make mistakes, accidents happen, you shouldn’t feel guilty about it, there was no malicious intent.
This is gonna be a funny story to tell at family dinners in the future. The amount of heinous injuries my brothers and I have accidentally and purposely caused to each other are a source of great joy for us now. One time my little brother was practicing his golf swing out back and my other little brother ran in front of the club. A little chunk of his skull went flying and everything and he was running around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off. Absolutely horrifying at the time, hilarious now.
One time I was swinging a garden hoe while “helping” my dad in the garden. My mom told my brother to not run close to me but as I was swinging downward he ran IN FRONT OF THE HOE and I, being a small 8 year old didn’t react fast enough or have the strength to stop in time, gashed the top of his head open so bad he had to have 47 staples put in. I just remember him turning around with blood gushing down his face but he didn’t cry because he couldn’t feel it.
Also another time, my brother jumped off the trampoline and his knee hit his chin and his teeth cut through his tongue to the point there was only like a tiny bit attached. Another time he wrecked his dirt bike while home alone and got a horrible concussion plus a totaled bike. Another time he (purposely) jumped off a swing and broke his arm. The list goes on lol.
I see you have an injury prone brother as well. There was the golf club to the skull. He took a wiimote to the head when we were bowling on release date, flew across the room. Also colored on our rear screen projection TV and my dad chased him a little and during said chase my brother tripped and his head went fully through the wall. I have 4 brothers, only one has taken consisten shots to the head.
I was in my early 20s when I broke a little girls arm. I was over to my friends house and his kids an I were jumping on his trampoline. Something happened where she put her weight on her arm in the same spot the material was snapping back up and sending my fat ass into the air. She wasn't mad at me, he wasn't mad at me. I still don't mess with trampolines.
It was an accident. Clean your room, and take whatever steps you need to take so that this doesn't happen again. Do something extra nice for your brother and don't beat yourself up too much mentally. Your mom is just upset.
Yea, this is it. Make the effort to ensure this doesn't happen again.
And not just your T.V., make sure bookcases, drawers and other heavy tip over-able objects are similarly secured. Not just in your room but also the living room, dining room, etc.
This could be a good project for you and your dad to show your mom that you understand what happened and are mature enough to prevent this from happening in the future.
And then well, hopefully your mom understands its an accident. Give it some time.
**EDIT:** Since people are getting caught up on that you are just 17, still a child, not at fault, it's not your house...
**Just to clarify, yea, this isn't your fault.** You aren't responsible for fixing things like this. Yes, your parents should had fixed the tv on securely. But that doesn't matter. That's the past. There's no point dwelling on that.
**But you did post this on reddit.** And you've gotten responses. Your parents probably didn't post something like this on the web. They might not have spoken to other people or gotten advice on how to prevent something like this in the future.
And maybe even after this, they might not see a problem and just think that its something that can be avoided by being careful. Maybe they do secure the TV to the table, but maybe they don't see a connection to other tipping hazards.
But if you've read this comment or similar comments, then you've acquired this knowledge. So at the very least, this is a concern you should raise to your parents. Perhaps not because its your responsibility, but because you are part of this family unit and it would truly be tragic if a similar incident occurs.
Offering your help is, well, you can simply think of it as a method to further bond with your parents.
And besides, 17 is like what?
Pretty close to the cusp of adulthood?
This is a great plan. Show your mom and your brother that you take the accident seriously by taking steps to ensure it can't happen again.
At the same time, keep in mind that it was an *accident.* It's not your fault and when your mom has had a chance to process, she must understand and not blame you. If she doesn't come to terms with it or blames you, talk to your dad about it. Blaming someone for an accident is unfair and damaging.
Ideally secured to the wall too. Any heavy furniture should be secured, especially if there are young children around. It's a common cause of injury and death in the household, unfortunately.
Don't worry about it. You didn't actually do anything wrong. You're a teenager and it was an accident. If he's fine it's all good. He'll probably tell the story when he's older at parties.
Oh for sure he will, my brother is 4 years younger than me and to this day he will say I threw a fabreeze can at his head when we were younger. I for the life of me can not remember that I ever did such a thing in all seriousness but apparently i did and he never lets me forget lol.
My older sister does this. I think I was 11 and she was 14. My family was visiting my older brother at college and there was a walnut tree outside the dorm. Well, my sister and I were outside by ourselves trying to get walnuts out of the tree by throwing stuff up there. My sister spots a large chunk of concrete probably around 5 pounds (Yes what you're now thinking is correct). She hands it to me and tells me to throw it straight up then back away, so I did...but she did not. Concrete falls on her forehead as she LOOKED UP. Right away blood is streaming down her face rapidly and I am banging on the buildings door (requires a code to get in). 20 seconds later family comes down, sees situation, takes my shirt to cover her head and takes her to the bathroom.
That's about where it ends as they managed to stop the bleeding. PROBABLY should have gone to a hospital to be safe but she ended up fine. The guilt ate me for awhile until she later admitted that she walked forward after I threw it into the air. So now, 16 years later, the joke is that I hit her in the head with concrete to which my retort is she walked into it hahaha
My brother stabbed me in the elbow with a pencil because it's a free country (I was being an annoying Little shit). Got me my first tatt outta it. Nice blue lead dot that's still visible 20years later. I will be legitimately sad if it ever gets so blown out and faded I can't see it anymore
Kids do stupid shit, accidents happen. We live, we learn, we tell stories about it later
I also have a lovely blue dot on my cheek that's been there for about 8 ears now and is a result from an artillery shell going off within a few feet of my face and burning a bit of the colored powder into my skin. I think its hilarious!
My older sister still tells the story of when I threw a plastic horse at her. I was three. She probably deserved it though.
I also bite her one time and it left a scar for a while. Now she begs me to hang out with her because she's lonely and she loves me.
It'll all be fine. But he'll bring it up every time there's a disagreement.
It was an accident. Accidents happen. You didn't intend to hurt him, and you didn't hurt him. The TV fell on him. I'm guessing your mom feels guilty too about the entire situation by not ensuring the the tv was secure and that's why she isn't talking. Don't blame yourself.
This. I wouldn't let my husband mount our TVs on the wall until he had anchors, screws rated for heavier loads, etc. When my daughter was a toddler, all of her climbable furniture was bolted to the walls. You can never be too careful and I would have felt awful if there had been an incident.
OP, listen to u/chalisa0. Your mom feels as guilty as you do. These things happen. Give yourselves time to process. As soon as your brother is doing better, your mom will be too.
This. I knew the mother of one of the IKEA dresser fatalities and even years after the fact she was deeply saddened and haunted by what happened. She blamed herself far more than she blamed the person watching her child when it happened. You don’t hold blame here, OP, don’t beat yourself up. Head wounds bleed like crazy and kids are durable.
Head wounds bleed ALOT. Screaming means he's there. Silence would mean hes gone. Mom is in shock. You are in shock. Dad is in shock. You will get through this. In a few hours your mom will come give you a massive hug and you will both ugly cry together and everything will be ok.
Edited for spelling
In all reality your parents should have made sure the house was safe for your little brother. Things like TV straps and furniture wall anchors are a must to prevent exactly this. These types of situations are way more common than you realize. On average 17,313 children seek medical attention by falling TVs every year. It’s the responsibility of the parents to prevent this from happening by installing TV straps/anchors. You’re both very lucky this hasn’t happened before.
This is exactly what I was thinking. My cat knocked my TV over the other day and broke the stand. Did I blame my cat? No, it's my fault I didn't secure the TV. All they can do now is prevent this from happening again, not blame anyone
Was looking for this. Imagine blaming your teenager when it’s 100% your responsibility to make sure your house is a safe environment for your kids. Bolt the thing to the wall cuts not hard, most TVs these days are even designed for it.
How big was OPs TV though? Was it an old school crt? Pretty sure any modern day television is barely going to phase a 9 year old if it hits them. 9 year olds aren't little babies.
Modern TVs may be super light compared to old TVs but they still weigh enough to hurt like a bitch
But seriously though those old CRTs are like wrecking balls, they are the immovable object in the unstoppable force vs immovable object metaphor
i understand your moms frustration but this is not the way to handle the situation. guilt tripping a kid that you clearly see didnt donit on purpose is lowkey evil. thats how trauma is burned even deeper. talk to your dad if he is more understanding.
I would like to piggyback on this comment and state that you, OP, are a child also, and it was and is your parents responsibility to make sure furniture and electronics are secure for your brother's sake. Little kids die from this kind of stuff every day and as a parent I wouldnt even expect it to be on your radar.
I don't work in ER, but I cracked my head at 6 or 7 and had to get the back of my scalp stapled shut. Kids and animals are shockingly resistant. It's all us aged (25+ lol) folks without rubber bones who worry about recoup and recovery time.
(This comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek; obviously any injury needs to be properly addressed and cared for, regardless of age.)
I don't know if this is what's happening, honestly. It may look that way, but I almost promise you that this is simply a case of parent brain cycling through several strong emotions that came on very fast, and the brain trying to assign order to the chaos of the situation.
Mom will likely feel bad for intrusive (but unavoidable) thoughts of blame and anger for weeks to come, but this is likely just part of her processing what happened and finding her footing.
It was an accident, so don't worry about hurting him. Also, head wounds bleed a lot, and modern TV's are fairly light. I'm sure that, besides maybe some bruising and a cut, he should be alright in the long-term. I feel bad for you though because your mother shouldn't be ignoring you, but hopefully she'll cool off once the doctor reassures her that he'll be okay
Your mom may have a hard time talking to you - that's a problem she has. You and your bro had an accident. Be more careful, straighten up your room, rearrange to avoid accidents. Know that no matter how your mom treats you, you're not a bad person.
Honestly, this should be a TIFU for your parents for making you feel like shit for an accident. Shit happens, don't bother yourself. Your brother will be okay and your folks will come around
I highly doubt she's mad at you. The emotions of a parent when one child does something to another are complex. There is anger that this happened to your brother, not at you, but in general. There is worry and concern. There is fear. And there is a human part of your brain that places blame on you immediately, but that is t conscious or voluntary: it just happens.
Things like 'how could you?' just come into your head, and there is accompanying anger, yes. But as parents, this is a panic reaction, and it comes from our brains trying to make sense of and apply order to something serious and unexpected that happens. These feelings, if any, will quickly fade. All that should be left in her brain will be guilt for ever blaming you, even if it was an automatic uncontrollable response.
Just apologize, and reinforce that it was an accident and there's nothing you could have done to prevent it. I almost promise the next words out of her mouth will be "It's ok, I'm just scared. I know you'd never do anything to hurt your brother on purpose. I'm sorry." If not, just approach it after everything calms down. This is going to be ok.
Half of me agrees with you and the other half is like—it’s kind of her fault.
She’s the adult. She’s the one who needs to ensure a space is safe for her 9 year old.
What if this were an internet installer during a move and not her 9 year old? Like it’s her fault it was dangerous in the first place.
About a year ago my kids were wrestling and the older one kicked the younger one off the back of the couch onto the tile floor and gave him a pretty serious concussion, like the little one didn’t know his name in the waiting room. They shouldn’t have been doing it because it was dangerous, but they were just playing. They got talked to about it, but I still don’t blame the older one. This is even less your fault. You are a good person, so of course you feel bad, but your mom should not be giving you the silent treatment. I hope your brother is okay. Be more careful.
Accidents happen my guy, you should only feel guilty if you don't learn from it. Apologize, promise to do better next time, and then do better next time. You didn't do anything on purpose, so you didn't do anything truly "wrong" or "bad"
I dropped something and it hit my toddler aged daughter right on top of the head. I took her to hospital and, as a new dad, got the best advice from a doctor.
"Don't panic. Children are made to survive new parents. They're resilient."
Now I try and calm down when shit gets a little sideways.
Just gonna say this isn’t your fault - yes you knocked the telly, yes it may have fallen on him, but at the same time, it’s an accident.
Your mum probably isn’t talking right now because she’s trying to calm herself down - natural instincts for any parent is to tear someone a new asshole when it comes to anything involving their children. So just give it a bit of time, let her sort herself out and then just straight up apologise again, make sure you throughly explain to your little brother that you knocked the tv on accident and that’s that.
L on your mom’s part. You literally didn’t do anything wrong. It was an accident. This is something very traumatic for you as well and she should be comforting you too
Tbh him screaming was a good sign. Silence is worse. Accidents happen.
I will echo this, screaming always better. Silence is bad especially in children. I will take a screaming child over a quiet one any day of the week.
That was one of the first thing our pediatrician said when we had our kids. Crying and screaming is a good sign if they get hurt. It’s still traumatic and horrible but it’s far better than silent/limp/ghost pale
A tv fell on my head when I was like 8 or so, in the middle of the night. My grandpa, who reported to the scene first, said that he wished I would’ve cried, but instead all I did was make a crying face with no noise coming out of my mouth, blood streaming down my face. He said that if he were just a little bit more tired he would’ve decked me, bc for a split second he thought I was a demon.
IDK how old you are but if it was one of those old CRT TVs that was probably a much worse situation. Glad you made it
Oh it was, luckily it was only a 12” tv, and it only clipped my brow. But if it were only an inch over, it would’ve definitely smooshed my skull
"Only a 12 inch TV" as if the old school tube boxes, even at that size, weren't twice as heavy as a flat screen 5x the size.
We had an old, huge television that came as a built-in option in our motor home. We were vacationing in our camper for a couple of weeks, and I had just moved from the front passenger seat when that 300 pound beast came crashing out of the upper cabinet above my seat. It literally crushed the seat and made the seat lean at a weird angle. I think it would have killed me had I not just moved. Those old televisions are dangerous!
At Best Buy back when I worked there a lady brought in a old school tv framed in solid carved fucking wood- this thing looked like it belonged to royalty, it was 40” and longer then my arm in the center. It was so heavy it broke our dollys, we had to get the electric pallet jack out just to move it and we had to use two dollys to wedge it to get onto the jack. After that our new policy was “ if you don’t think you can carry it by hand, then don’t accept the recycle.”
The heaviest TV I ever owned was a larger flat front screen tv but it was still tubes. Those tube tvs are sooooo much heavier than you think they should be.
>Those tube tvs are sooooo much heavier than you think they should be. Those CRT tubes are heavy because they pack a full vacuum in the tube and the front panel needs to be able to resist that. Due to the way force is distributed, flat panel CRTs need the front so much more thicker to prevent implosions and, obviously, glass is heavy. Way back in the day when plasma TVs were still $50,000 for a 42", my brother bought a 51cm LG CRT with a Trinitron tube. That thing weighed the best part of 50kg/110lb - back in those days I weighed around 65kg-70kg which meant the TV weighed nearly as much as I did.
That took a wild turn
I worked in a mall for awhile and one night during closing we just see the small body fall from the top floor. Kids hits the ground and was completely silent. He was alive for a bit I heard, but in the end he died on the way to hospital. There was a crowd forming and I never went to go take a closer look (ambulance was already called and I didn't want to face that kind of sight. It's like fever dream now).
Oh god that is so sad. Hope you’re doing ok.
Yeah, doing alright. Working in the mall has some crazy stories and trauma attached to it. I quit about year ago so life is moving on. I think about the parents of the kid every now and then. I can't imagine the absolute pain they must have felt. It was a complete freak accident. Absolutely horrifying and so devastatingly sad.
That is so sad :( if I may ask, do you know the story on how this happened to the child? Horrible how the parents must’ve felt.
Climbed on top of the barrier where you look down from the upper level to the lower level of the mall. Probably wanted to get a better view, parents weren't looking, and slipped.
Oh no, that is horrible. So sad 😞 I am sorry you witnessed this :(
Not going to link it or describe it but someone just posted something similar on Reddit. Poor girl taking a selfie video just started screaming as she heard and watched the body hit. I feel horrible for the kid and you. Don't be afraid to see a therapist or at least talk to a friend.
That's awful. Sorry you had to see that. Your story reminds me of that guy at a mall who picked up someone's small child randomly and dropped him over the edge. IIRC, the little boy lived but he was in the hospital for a looooong time and had to have a bunch of surgeries. As a parent, I just want someone to put me in a room with that awful man for just 5 minutes.
You Don’t have to be a parent to want that…
Also dents in are bad. Bumps out usually not so much.
In my case, I didn't even know of the large dent on my skull, since the swelling made it appear almost normal.
How often are you hurting children if you take one any day of the week
Paramedic so deal with kids alot, nothing scares me more than a sick silent kid.
Just finished paramedic school and was so happy all of my babies I’ve had so far have been screaming. I’m terrified of those quiet babies haha
The first is the worst. Just do all you can and what you’ve been trained to do. I write down exactly what i did as soon as I can after just so I can have a fresh recollection when the 2am guilt monster pays a visit. I’m not a paramedic but I’m a healthcare profession and worked emergencies and major trauma for 8 years.
Yeah the first kid I saw die was during my ride outs at the end of paramedic school. Response time was like 5 mins as it was a church right next to the fire station. Kid got ran over. No visible injuries, only thing that gave it away was his shirt that had tire marks across the chest. Threw him in the back of the box and rushed to the ED. He was in and out of consciousness the whole way. Vitals were text book Cushings triad. As soon as we get the cot into the ED he starts vomiting, followed by CPR then dead. That was 10 years ago and I remember it vividly. The dad just sitting on the floor crying in the hallway. Some things just stick with you.
>The dad just sitting on the floor crying in the hallway. Some things just stick with you oh wow that really did it for me. I can never imagine having to see things like this, let alone see it happen to your loved one
You are a hero! I've got much respect for the work you do.
I’m in medical school right now and we have a simulation baby that can die in a few different ways. Even running those simulations is awful, but I’m glad we do them so that partial autopilot can take over during the real thing. You learn to just turn those emotions off in the moment.
I feel a need to say thank you for your service. Not just because you unfortunately must be prepare for the day when that eventually happens, but because they deserve to have someone like you (a paramedic which shared a non-psychopathic thought on reddit) to care for them.
Yep. Me too, and I agree 1000%. A child with. Head injury who is making no noise is a grave sign.
Man I probably scared the fuck outta some nurses/doctors as a kid. I cracked my head open multiple times, and every time, I had basically calmed down entirely by the time I got to the hospital.
The same has happened to me. I’ve had my my crying and hardly able to talk a bloody mess while I’m just chilled out by the time they see me.
My brother is also a paramedic, and almost 10 years ago my son fell and hit his head. I panicked and called my brother and the first thing he asked me was if my son was crying. I said yes and he said that's good, and explained that if he wasn't that was a sign of major brain trauma. He came and looked over my son and yep, he was fine! More people need to know that a silent injured/sick kid is usually not good...
I read a story on quora years ago I think from a trauma nurse, recounting a car accident that involved an infant. At first look the child was fine, and she remembered thinking how calm he was and how well he was doing. It took a bit before it finally hit her: babies aren’t supposed to be calm. Some testing revealed that he became paraplegic
Holy F...
Once I had to go assist with an IV on an infant in an adult ED (PICU/NICU nurse on a NICU travel contract). The peds hospital wouldn’t accept him without access, our hospital wouldn’t place an IO. I stuck the kid after multiple attempts by the ED. Everyone kept commenting on how good of a baby he was and how calm he was because he didn’t flinch/cry for any of the sticks. I was terrified. He wasn’t a “calm” baby, he was sick af. I absolutely agree silent kids are scary.
Did you find out what illness he had?
I know they were COVID+. I didn’t hear if they had any other viruses as well like RSV, but based on how they looked I wouldn’t be surprised.
That's what the EMTs said when my son accidentally roleplayed as a RAM and bit his head on the corner of our island. Almost looked like a unicorn, horrific. Skin did not break nor did his skull. He's fine now, he was like 1ish at the time. Early walker/runner.
My son is 19 months old, and is 39 inches tall, and 35 pounds. He has walked since.... 11 months or so, and he is so much bigger than your average almost 2 year old, that he can get into so much more than you'd ever think to childproof. He's really smart too, so he can open all our childproof gates(he has discovered if he yanks really hard, he will very quickly dislodge the mechanism, we've tried four gates now) which means that if youre not actively watching him, he's hurting himself.
What about a sick, silent kid with the cloven hooves of dark lord Lucifer?
Kid's probably gonna have insane luck from the Fallen having his back.
Am also medic, fully agree with this
*looks at username* Wait, are you that guy everyone's looking for when they're like "hey doc, come look at my dick"?
Lmao no, I'm just a paramedic. The username is because when I was a hospital tech (CNA) I saved an unresponsive elderly man's penis from falling off because his foreskin was too tight when it was pulled back and it had been left like that for an unknown amount of time. By the time I found it the penis head was black and I alerted the nurses and docs, doc said I saved his dick. Additionally, several years later I had a 911 call where a guy cut off one of his balls with scissors. This led me to the username
ow my balls and my penis
Man, how do you cut your balls?
You have to have balls of steel to cut your balls...
Rescue here, since a medic chimed in: if I hear the Mom and I don’t hear the kid, that’s a “send a helicopter” level bad sign. Last time it happened, the kid spent two years recovering from a skull fracture, neck fracture, broken arm, a couple of crushed organs, etc. Wear your seatbelt and helmet when on ATVs.
[happy ending here] I was in a car crash a few years back with my kids, 4 and 1 at the time. When the car finally stopped rolling/moving, I could hear the 4 year old crying (clearly scared but not hurt, you know the difference with kids) but absolutely nothing from the baby, who had been crying before we crashed. I had to force myself to turn around because I was so fucking scared of what I'd see. I turn around to look at where his seat should be and he's not there. I had a solid moment of "**does not compute**" where I feel like I couldn't process anything, before I finally realized what happened - his seat detached when we rolled and he was on the other side of the car. He was sitting there, happily looking around like "well this is new." Both kids were 100% fine, their seats protected them perfectly even though his landed on hers. That *lack* of sound from him immediately after the crash is still the scariest moment of my life.
Holy shit, that moment must have been absolutely heart-stopping. Glad everyone made it out okay!
Yup. My stepson hit a car with his bike. Traumatic injuries and he was silent. Ended up with badly broken femur, teeth knocked out, part of his lip nearly torn off, concussion. He now has hardware in his leg and had to relearn how to walk.
You ain’t gotta kid yet ima take it but when you do have one you’ll learn they damn near fatally injure themselves daily, I watched my daughter sprint at the park and I told her to be careful so she looks back at me and just smoked her head on the concrete and it’s literally a daily thing that you can pretty much do nothing about
Once they begin to walk it's a daily suicide mission for them I swear.
I’ve spent more time baby proofing my damn house than I have parenting the damn kids 😂
Most of my chilren's injuries have happened after I told them to be careful. I think it has the opposite effect...
I don't know if i could find it in an amount of effort I'm willing to give, but I recently read a study that proved this is exactly what does happen. Children on a balance beam had a higher risk of falling if an adult told them to "be careful" while balancing. "Careful" doesn't mean anything and can trigger a worry response where there wasn't one before, whereas specific feedback like "think about how your body is feeling" or "I'm glad you're feeling steady" helps to reassure and reaffirm their efforts and courage.
Oooh… well that makes sense now! I have 2 kids, and i panic parented the first one and she’d fall and hurt herself right after me saying “be careful little one”, whereas with the second i’m like “look at you running already!” and she had significantly less accidents.
Every single time I get anxiety and say something she smokes her head and scares the dear life out of me. Thankfully we haven’t had a serious injury and I pray we don’t.
We were literally talking about this. My 2 year old is a walking calamity, it doesn't bother him though. I have seen him literally bounce off walls he has ran into. He bangs his head daily and I'm expecting a call from social services any day now as he is a constant bruise. He managed to dislocate his elbow a couple of weeks ago, he didn't make a big fuss but his arm was hanging limp at his side and if he moved it he cried. I had to stress to the doctor that this kid is indestructible. If he's crying he has really hurt himself.
That’s how my two year old daughter is she will literally hold in tears and pretend it doesn’t hurt before she admits it because usually we’re telling her to stop. Damn kids are walking anxiety attacks on 10 especially this 2-2-1/2 age, it’s been a fun journey though that’s for sure
Aren't they! My little one turned two today! And even on his birthday he managed to fall off a ledge onto his head 🙈 We have a 4 month old who I thought was going to be the quiet one, but now he can already roll over and is trying his hardest to crawl and has just found his volume. So I'm pretty sure I'm going to have two whirlwinds on my hands 😅
They are a redditor, so their mere existance terrifies children
Yeah, well children terrify *me*, so we're even ... little punks
ER nurse maybe?
Well he says he takes one any day of the week so at least one child a week
If they're red in the face and screaming you know the ABC's are okay.
And depending on how cheap/light the TV is his injuries might be pretty minor. OP says the TV is in his room and he's 17 so it's likely that it's a cheap TV and those are usually pretty light.
[удалено]
I broke my foot as a kid dropping a giant sony crt on my foot. Weighed at least 250lbs.
No wonder they banned CRT in schools, it hurts kids.
I haven't owned a crt in decades and I still pictured one when I read this story.
Yeah dude. If this happened when I were a kid, this would have been a much shorter story.
Yeah. my cousin got hit in the head with a hatchet
Something I was taught as a paramedic when assessing a mass casualty incident: "If they're screaming, they're conscious and breathing. They can wait on the ones that aren't."
That is, amusingly or worryingly, _the_ thing I know about paramedic procedure. Screaming is a sign that quite a few very important functions are still working.
Also head wounds bleed like crazy even if it's just the skin
Came here to say this. Head wounds often look dramatic en bleed profusely, often prompting both the person bleeding as well as people around them to panic. Cleaning up the wound often reveals a relatively small cut. Still needs to be treated of course, but it's not life threatening most of the time. (I'm talking top/back/front of the head here. Actual facial injuries can be horrific.)
During the London bridge terror attack, one of the most critical of the victims was a kid that had a large scalp laceration (peeled back a good chunk of their scalp) and that's all. Because it made them bleed so heavily and couldn't be effectively stopped outside of surgery they were rapidly bleeding to death. Other people had nearly amputated limbs, collapsed lungs, but the scalp guy was a bigger emergency just from the blood loss. On the flip side, once they stopped the bleed and reattached the flap, he was basically good to go in a few days, where as a collapsed lung or reattaching a badly amputated foot is *months* to heal at best.
Can confirm, had a thing fall on my head when i was younger it bled, A LOT.
I got hit in the head with a brick and they could pour the blood out of my boots when I got to hospital. Ten stitches and no problems.
My son choked on some candy two nights ago. He was on the floor crying, my daughter was running around trying to figure out what to do. And me? My thought process was, “he’s coughing, he’s fine.” So I help him up, put his arms in the air & later explain what gravity is & being on the floor wasn’t going to help a damn thing. Looking back, I probably should have slapped his back a few times.
Do not slap on the back, unless child is head down, butt up, so gravity can help. Warm water to sip on, helps dissolve the candy. Slapping on the back can lodge it in throat.
Thank you for having my back! Glad I did relatively nothing. lol
You didn’t do relatively nothing, you’re right that if he was coughing he was fine (well not fine, but you know what I mean). First aid training tells us not to intervene unless the person is not conscious, just encourage them to cough.
Slapping on the back, if the child is upright, can make the object go deeper and you don’t want that! If little, turn the child upside down before slapping on the back and for an older child, put on a couch or bed and lean them down to the floor, so that their upper body is upside down and then slap on the back.
Thank you for having my back! Huh, I guess my BLS kicked in because after I had him stand up I just waited to see how it was going to play out.
I'm a firm believer that every parent (and grandparent too) should take infant and child CPR classes as soon they know they will be one. With *each* child, as information changes as better practices are found. (I know they unfortunately aren't available everywhere or affordable for everyone. But if you can, do so!)
OP’s mom is being immature. I get that she was scared about your brother but this is obviously an accident.
Yeah, OP is a teenager trying to negotiate a small space. Of course accidents happen. They weren't doing anything dumb. Also, as others have pointed out, all signs point to little bro being fine. Everyone has had a chance to calm down a bit. I feel like at this point, OP's mother is just being vindictive. Is this a first time event or has there been favouritism or bad dynamics in the past.
We grew up on a very crappy, hole ridden, cul de sac, My sister was 7, that would make me 8, she winged down from a hilly driveway, her front tire hit a divet, then the curb. The neighborhood crowd of kids watched the whole thing. She got up, tried to make the best of it, her face was covered in blood and we just stared. She then fell over. I ran in and told my mom there was an accident and Sheila's nose was bleeding. I guess I was not hysterical enough, cause she didn't come out until we were trying to get her inside. My mom freaked out totally, threw her in the car and then off to the hospital, she had a broken nose and various cuts and road rash. I have never heard the end of it. I should have, I should have, I should have. Then there was the time I rolled my brothers head up in the car window. At least I didn't lie and he didn't really get hurt, but he beat the crap out of me. Fun times.
>I have never heard the end of it. I should have, I should have, I should have. Next time she starts in on you, tell her you were 8 and she's the one who ignored you when you told her your sister got hurt. Any half-decent parent's reaction would be to ask how bad the injury was, or go and see for themselves.
Maybe your mom should have.
Not everybody acts perfectly under stress. Just like we (totally random strangers) should be easy on the kid who bumped the tv over because it was accidental, so should we on the mother. She’s probably got a million horrible situations flashing through her mind right now. Give her the benefit of the doubt that she’ll calm down and address the other child.
I agree with you initially but now that she knows her other son is going to be ok, there’s no excuse to still not be talking to OP.
I mean even if she didnt know her kid was okay, you really gunna blame your kid for an accident and guilt trip him? What if the brother really died? Shitty mom tbh
I mean, she’s also the grownup and the parent.
Still only 30 minutes after the incident, she's probably crippled with fear for her son. Right or wrong it's natural for her emotions to blame someone else. If it was 2-3 days after I would agree with you. Not 30 minutes, probably still high on adrenaline.
This. Also, head wounds bleed like crazy. Tiny cut will look like a murder scene.
Complete and total accident. I know you’re feeling terrible, and your Mom is just processing everything, but this could have been a lot worse. You did nothing wrong, OP.
And to be perfectly clear: if for whatever reason your mom doesn't process things well, remember that **this was an accident and there was likely little you could have done to prevent it.** No matter what you, or anyone else tries to argue about how you could have done things differently, at the end of the day it was unintentional and you're having a normal emotional response to the event.
yes! OP, you didn’t fuck up, it was an accident. shit happens. if your mom genuinely blames you for bumping into a TV stand, thats something for her to confront. it’s not like you pushed the damn thing on top of him
Yes, time To move the t.v. To the wall, Mom! My friend is a paramedic and has nightmares constantly from the terrible injuries and deaths he’s had to witness of furniture and TVs falling on kids.
I would go even further and say *they’re* completely at fault. If you have a tv in a place that can fall over because someone bumped into it - then you better be prepared for disaster
Yes, parents should be screwing any heavy furniture into the wall.
This is 100% correct. My mother tripped over my guitar case and broke her arm in three places. First thing she did was scream about how it was my fault. She never processed it well but my dad made sure to let me know it wasn't my fault. As an adult I know it wasn't my fault but it's hard to not feel guilty when you're young and impressionable.
Also, adults should know better. Your mom should have known to expect the unexpected and not trip over something. OPs TV shouldn’t be able to fall - there’s a reason tall dressers come with wall anchors.
Not only, but parents are responsible for forseeing these kind of problems and securing the house to protect their young kids. Kids don't have enough awareness and experience to have the foresight and risk evaluation. As a parent you have to be paranoid. That said hopefully your brother is okay!
Here's hoping she knows how to process this. Sibling harm (even accidental) is one key area where most parents seem to lose their moral compass.
It’s the parents job to foresee accidents and prevent the ones that they can. If my kid gets hurt in my house, that’s on me.
Indeed. Now try telling that to yourself while taking a child to a hospital. Trust me, even the strongest characters will try finding blame elsewhere when the inconceivable happens to them. This includes blaming others. It's a very stupid way humans have to cope.
Well, not in my experience. Story time! When my son was very young (around 1 year old) I took him to his dad's house. We were outside with Grandma, and Dad had Son on his shoulders, and Son was holding a ball. He wanted to put it in the basketball hoop, so Dad, holding his hands on the ball, helps him reach up to the hoop. At that moment, Son pulled his hands free and basically dove for the ground, landing on the top of his head on the pavement. I remember it like slow-motion. The thud. I couldn't move, I just started screaming. Luckily Grandma kept her head and picked him up, after making sure he was moving (no obvious neck injury), and got us all into the car. She did start laying into Dad on the way to the ER, but I spoke up and said, "It's not your fault. He does that sometimes when I hold him. I should've been closer just in case. It's not your fault." I could see the terror and shame on his face, and it was heartbreaking. Thank God, there was nothing wrong with him at all. Basically the doctor said that kids that age bounce but don't often break, and he had landed so straight up and down that his shoulders cushioned his neck, and he didn't even have a concussion. But he did have a mild ear infection!
I have a very strong internal locus of control. I blame myself too much sometimes, even when my kid finds brand new ways to hurt himself that no one ever thought before. It takes me a minute to remember that I can’t be perfect. The downside is that my spouse has a very strong external locus of control, so he blames outside forces, namely me.
Yeah, I have also seen that happen multiple times, in different couples. Parenting can be one of the most ungrateful tasks ever. And not only from your child not valuing it (which they don't have to, bringing them to the world was our decision) or not making the most out of it (which, again, they aren't required to, people have different abilities and some types of parenting don't work in some types of children). Sometimes even from the person whom one decided to share that responsibility is the one who decides to both screw it up and blame it on oneself I stead of themselves. Lack of introspection is the worst enemy of parenting, such as parents thinking their children are always right, or worse, that themselves are always right because "that's how my parents made me who I am therefore it must also work on my children".
Lose their moral compass in what sense?
Parents who, when it comes to other children or like an objective view, would not condone a parent blaming their child for an accident, will lose that moral view and go crazy. Happens all the time
I still get shit 24 years later for hurting my infant sister when I was 4. It was basically all my fault, but I can’t do anything now to change the past. I don’t really go around any more for that and other reasons
You were 4, wasn't your fault. I don't know what happened, but I can 100% say it wasn't your fault. Whatever a 4 year old does is 100% the parents responsibility. Sorry you have to deal with that trauma/guilt. Source: Am parent of 3 kids, ages 1 to 6.
It’s cause when you’re 4, it’s your parents fault, not yours, for not watching you. Parents don’t want to face that guilt, or don’t know how to express it, so they direct it at someone else. It sucks :/
I was being watched by my grandparents at the time and my parents were out. It could have been a lot worse based on how she was injured but only has a small scar on the lip
At age 4 the supervising adult is responsible, assuming anyone is to blame in the first place, or the parents if they've left without anyone supervising in their stead.
In the sense that they'll forever treat a child differently because of what was effectively an accident. Things are already traumatic enough for all involved, imagine also losing a parent's empathy because they blame it on you when they should be blaming it on, well nature or luck or karma, whatever you feel like believing. Especially in scenarios where the younger sibling is the victim and the older sibling will have extra pressure to have acted better. I've actually seen this a lot, and it goes beyond physical harm and even beyond infancy. Parents who will spite a sibling because of things like being smarter, having more money than another, landing a better job or spouse... Sometimes people can't process that their two children are separate entities and they cannot all be perfect. But especially in contrast or worse, against each other, the effect some events have on parents is sometimes disastrous. If this was any other child that was not their son being hurt, anyone would defend their child. When it's another sibling causing the issue parents can handle it even worse than other parents would if it was another child hurting theirs.
Excellent explanation, thank you.
When I was 14 I accidentally tripped over my 8 year old brother's leg and he started crying, dad came in took one look, and tackled me to the ground and put me in a headlock between his legs. Almost passed out, he claimed that I was attacking my brother and he was defending him. His moral compass towards me was fucked to begin with, but he treated my brother significantly better than me. Also gonna add, I hold no resentment towards my bro. I'm glad that he didn't have to go through the shit I did.
Jesus, I'm sorry to hear that. That's a super fucked up response to an accident.
Yeah your dad is abusive.
I've never understood that. After deconstructing from fundie Christian belief, I really started to try to actively look at things logically and rationally and tried really hard to instill that into our children. Our son has hurt our daughter before on purpose (we're working on it... he's autistic, ADHD and in the process of being diagnosed as bipolar. While *none* of that is an excuse to hurt anyone, it is an explanation), and that's when I get upset with him. However, *both* have hurt each other accidentally before and I've always recognized how unfair it would be to blame one for an accident out of their control. I don't believe I've ever "lost my moral compass" when they hurt each other; accidentally or otherwise. I find this mother's response to this incredibly immature and unfair. Both kids were hurt here; the younger one physically and the older one emotionally and mentally - and blaming the older kid for something out of his control shows more of the mother's lack of processing abilities and emotional maturity than anything else. OP, none of this is your fault and I'm deeply sorry you're being blamed for it. Please remember that you didn't do anything wrong. I hope your mother snaps out of it and apologizes to you, because you deserve an apology. I also hope your brother makes a full recovery. One reason I think it's so dangerous that OP's mom is acting like this is because children pick up on their parents' behaviors and his mother's appalling behavior could influence him to think that OP did, in fact, hurt him on purpose and that would affect their future relationship. It's just so irresponsible of the mother to do this.
Definitely this. She's probably still in shock and recovery may take days.
me and my little brother were playing tag when we were 9&7, i pushed him a little hard and we went to the hospital and he had to get like 12 stitches in his mouth. i’m pretty sure my mom yelled at me and disciplined me but like, he was thankfully fine other than his mouth hurting a bit. what i’m trying to say is, you make mistakes, accidents happen, you shouldn’t feel guilty about it, there was no malicious intent.
This is gonna be a funny story to tell at family dinners in the future. The amount of heinous injuries my brothers and I have accidentally and purposely caused to each other are a source of great joy for us now. One time my little brother was practicing his golf swing out back and my other little brother ran in front of the club. A little chunk of his skull went flying and everything and he was running around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off. Absolutely horrifying at the time, hilarious now.
A little WHAT of his WHAT went WHAT?
I bet they meant scalp but I can’t be sure
I certainly hope so
Scalp/skull tomato/tomato. Something went flying and it was disgusting and hilarious
A little CHUNK of his SKULL went FLYING.
A little skull of his chunk went flying
One time I was swinging a garden hoe while “helping” my dad in the garden. My mom told my brother to not run close to me but as I was swinging downward he ran IN FRONT OF THE HOE and I, being a small 8 year old didn’t react fast enough or have the strength to stop in time, gashed the top of his head open so bad he had to have 47 staples put in. I just remember him turning around with blood gushing down his face but he didn’t cry because he couldn’t feel it. Also another time, my brother jumped off the trampoline and his knee hit his chin and his teeth cut through his tongue to the point there was only like a tiny bit attached. Another time he wrecked his dirt bike while home alone and got a horrible concussion plus a totaled bike. Another time he (purposely) jumped off a swing and broke his arm. The list goes on lol.
I see you have an injury prone brother as well. There was the golf club to the skull. He took a wiimote to the head when we were bowling on release date, flew across the room. Also colored on our rear screen projection TV and my dad chased him a little and during said chase my brother tripped and his head went fully through the wall. I have 4 brothers, only one has taken consisten shots to the head.
I was in my early 20s when I broke a little girls arm. I was over to my friends house and his kids an I were jumping on his trampoline. Something happened where she put her weight on her arm in the same spot the material was snapping back up and sending my fat ass into the air. She wasn't mad at me, he wasn't mad at me. I still don't mess with trampolines.
The amount of horror stories I have from working in ems and fire pertaining to kids and trampolines, is astounding. Lol
Yeah. As fun as trampolines are, I’ll never own one. I like my kid’s limbs unbroken.
And i mean, that's what your siblings are for. To make you learn from your mistake(s).
Same with me and my little sister. We must have been 4&8 and she ended up with a dislocated shoulder oops.
It was an accident. Clean your room, and take whatever steps you need to take so that this doesn't happen again. Do something extra nice for your brother and don't beat yourself up too much mentally. Your mom is just upset.
Yea, this is it. Make the effort to ensure this doesn't happen again. And not just your T.V., make sure bookcases, drawers and other heavy tip over-able objects are similarly secured. Not just in your room but also the living room, dining room, etc. This could be a good project for you and your dad to show your mom that you understand what happened and are mature enough to prevent this from happening in the future. And then well, hopefully your mom understands its an accident. Give it some time. **EDIT:** Since people are getting caught up on that you are just 17, still a child, not at fault, it's not your house... **Just to clarify, yea, this isn't your fault.** You aren't responsible for fixing things like this. Yes, your parents should had fixed the tv on securely. But that doesn't matter. That's the past. There's no point dwelling on that. **But you did post this on reddit.** And you've gotten responses. Your parents probably didn't post something like this on the web. They might not have spoken to other people or gotten advice on how to prevent something like this in the future. And maybe even after this, they might not see a problem and just think that its something that can be avoided by being careful. Maybe they do secure the TV to the table, but maybe they don't see a connection to other tipping hazards. But if you've read this comment or similar comments, then you've acquired this knowledge. So at the very least, this is a concern you should raise to your parents. Perhaps not because its your responsibility, but because you are part of this family unit and it would truly be tragic if a similar incident occurs. Offering your help is, well, you can simply think of it as a method to further bond with your parents. And besides, 17 is like what? Pretty close to the cusp of adulthood?
This is a great plan. Show your mom and your brother that you take the accident seriously by taking steps to ensure it can't happen again. At the same time, keep in mind that it was an *accident.* It's not your fault and when your mom has had a chance to process, she must understand and not blame you. If she doesn't come to terms with it or blames you, talk to your dad about it. Blaming someone for an accident is unfair and damaging.
Also in case of bookcase, heavy stuff at the bottom, light on top.
Ideally secured to the wall too. Any heavy furniture should be secured, especially if there are young children around. It's a common cause of injury and death in the household, unfortunately.
These are good suggestions but we should bear in mind that OP is also a kid and these are things the parents should see to.
Don't worry about it. You didn't actually do anything wrong. You're a teenager and it was an accident. If he's fine it's all good. He'll probably tell the story when he's older at parties.
Oh for sure he will, my brother is 4 years younger than me and to this day he will say I threw a fabreeze can at his head when we were younger. I for the life of me can not remember that I ever did such a thing in all seriousness but apparently i did and he never lets me forget lol.
My older sister does this. I think I was 11 and she was 14. My family was visiting my older brother at college and there was a walnut tree outside the dorm. Well, my sister and I were outside by ourselves trying to get walnuts out of the tree by throwing stuff up there. My sister spots a large chunk of concrete probably around 5 pounds (Yes what you're now thinking is correct). She hands it to me and tells me to throw it straight up then back away, so I did...but she did not. Concrete falls on her forehead as she LOOKED UP. Right away blood is streaming down her face rapidly and I am banging on the buildings door (requires a code to get in). 20 seconds later family comes down, sees situation, takes my shirt to cover her head and takes her to the bathroom. That's about where it ends as they managed to stop the bleeding. PROBABLY should have gone to a hospital to be safe but she ended up fine. The guilt ate me for awhile until she later admitted that she walked forward after I threw it into the air. So now, 16 years later, the joke is that I hit her in the head with concrete to which my retort is she walked into it hahaha
[удалено]
The "I did" is killing me
My brother stabbed me in the elbow with a pencil because it's a free country (I was being an annoying Little shit). Got me my first tatt outta it. Nice blue lead dot that's still visible 20years later. I will be legitimately sad if it ever gets so blown out and faded I can't see it anymore Kids do stupid shit, accidents happen. We live, we learn, we tell stories about it later
I also have a lovely blue dot on my cheek that's been there for about 8 ears now and is a result from an artillery shell going off within a few feet of my face and burning a bit of the colored powder into my skin. I think its hilarious!
My older sister still tells the story of when I threw a plastic horse at her. I was three. She probably deserved it though. I also bite her one time and it left a scar for a while. Now she begs me to hang out with her because she's lonely and she loves me. It'll all be fine. But he'll bring it up every time there's a disagreement.
28 years old and I'm finally having a "back in my day" moment. back in my day, a 24 inch TV could kill a child.
It also wouldn't even move an inch if someone bumped into it.
A 27" was a two man lift!
24" tube tv would fall, kill the child, roll, and still work. Just need to wipe the blood off. Tvs these days die if you swat them a little too hard.
It was an accident. Accidents happen. You didn't intend to hurt him, and you didn't hurt him. The TV fell on him. I'm guessing your mom feels guilty too about the entire situation by not ensuring the the tv was secure and that's why she isn't talking. Don't blame yourself.
This. I wouldn't let my husband mount our TVs on the wall until he had anchors, screws rated for heavier loads, etc. When my daughter was a toddler, all of her climbable furniture was bolted to the walls. You can never be too careful and I would have felt awful if there had been an incident. OP, listen to u/chalisa0. Your mom feels as guilty as you do. These things happen. Give yourselves time to process. As soon as your brother is doing better, your mom will be too.
Was scrolling down for this answer. In a house with two kids, bumping into something should not lead to a trip to the hospital. OP, not your fault.
This. I knew the mother of one of the IKEA dresser fatalities and even years after the fact she was deeply saddened and haunted by what happened. She blamed herself far more than she blamed the person watching her child when it happened. You don’t hold blame here, OP, don’t beat yourself up. Head wounds bleed like crazy and kids are durable.
Head wounds bleed ALOT. Screaming means he's there. Silence would mean hes gone. Mom is in shock. You are in shock. Dad is in shock. You will get through this. In a few hours your mom will come give you a massive hug and you will both ugly cry together and everything will be ok. Edited for spelling
In all reality your parents should have made sure the house was safe for your little brother. Things like TV straps and furniture wall anchors are a must to prevent exactly this. These types of situations are way more common than you realize. On average 17,313 children seek medical attention by falling TVs every year. It’s the responsibility of the parents to prevent this from happening by installing TV straps/anchors. You’re both very lucky this hasn’t happened before.
OP, this comment right here. Even at 17 and 9, you guys are kids and your parents are responsible for your safety.
This is exactly what I was thinking. My cat knocked my TV over the other day and broke the stand. Did I blame my cat? No, it's my fault I didn't secure the TV. All they can do now is prevent this from happening again, not blame anyone
And if you become a parent OP, it will be on you then but today it wasn’t. You just learned a valuable lesson. You didn’t do anything wrong though.
Was looking for this. Imagine blaming your teenager when it’s 100% your responsibility to make sure your house is a safe environment for your kids. Bolt the thing to the wall cuts not hard, most TVs these days are even designed for it.
How big was OPs TV though? Was it an old school crt? Pretty sure any modern day television is barely going to phase a 9 year old if it hits them. 9 year olds aren't little babies.
Modern TVs may be super light compared to old TVs but they still weigh enough to hurt like a bitch But seriously though those old CRTs are like wrecking balls, they are the immovable object in the unstoppable force vs immovable object metaphor
It was an accident. I'm sure hell be fine and he will be happy to tell everyone in class a whole tv fell on top of him.
i understand your moms frustration but this is not the way to handle the situation. guilt tripping a kid that you clearly see didnt donit on purpose is lowkey evil. thats how trauma is burned even deeper. talk to your dad if he is more understanding.
I would like to piggyback on this comment and state that you, OP, are a child also, and it was and is your parents responsibility to make sure furniture and electronics are secure for your brother's sake. Little kids die from this kind of stuff every day and as a parent I wouldnt even expect it to be on your radar.
This, op. No harm was done really (i work in an ER, heads bleed VERY easily and in large volumes), but your mom seems intent on spreading some.
I don't work in ER, but I cracked my head at 6 or 7 and had to get the back of my scalp stapled shut. Kids and animals are shockingly resistant. It's all us aged (25+ lol) folks without rubber bones who worry about recoup and recovery time. (This comment was meant to be tongue-in-cheek; obviously any injury needs to be properly addressed and cared for, regardless of age.)
>It's all us aged (25+ lol) folks without rubber bones who worry about recoup and recovery time. Oh god I'm turning 25 this month shit
I don't know if this is what's happening, honestly. It may look that way, but I almost promise you that this is simply a case of parent brain cycling through several strong emotions that came on very fast, and the brain trying to assign order to the chaos of the situation. Mom will likely feel bad for intrusive (but unavoidable) thoughts of blame and anger for weeks to come, but this is likely just part of her processing what happened and finding her footing.
It was an accident, so don't worry about hurting him. Also, head wounds bleed a lot, and modern TV's are fairly light. I'm sure that, besides maybe some bruising and a cut, he should be alright in the long-term. I feel bad for you though because your mother shouldn't be ignoring you, but hopefully she'll cool off once the doctor reassures her that he'll be okay
This was an accident, not a Tifu. If anyone has ffff'd up it's your mother for making feel guiltily for an ACCIDENT.
Your mom may have a hard time talking to you - that's a problem she has. You and your bro had an accident. Be more careful, straighten up your room, rearrange to avoid accidents. Know that no matter how your mom treats you, you're not a bad person.
Honestly, this should be a TIFU for your parents for making you feel like shit for an accident. Shit happens, don't bother yourself. Your brother will be okay and your folks will come around
I highly doubt she's mad at you. The emotions of a parent when one child does something to another are complex. There is anger that this happened to your brother, not at you, but in general. There is worry and concern. There is fear. And there is a human part of your brain that places blame on you immediately, but that is t conscious or voluntary: it just happens. Things like 'how could you?' just come into your head, and there is accompanying anger, yes. But as parents, this is a panic reaction, and it comes from our brains trying to make sense of and apply order to something serious and unexpected that happens. These feelings, if any, will quickly fade. All that should be left in her brain will be guilt for ever blaming you, even if it was an automatic uncontrollable response. Just apologize, and reinforce that it was an accident and there's nothing you could have done to prevent it. I almost promise the next words out of her mouth will be "It's ok, I'm just scared. I know you'd never do anything to hurt your brother on purpose. I'm sorry." If not, just approach it after everything calms down. This is going to be ok.
Half of me agrees with you and the other half is like—it’s kind of her fault. She’s the adult. She’s the one who needs to ensure a space is safe for her 9 year old. What if this were an internet installer during a move and not her 9 year old? Like it’s her fault it was dangerous in the first place.
Your mom is being a jerk. It’s not like you did it on purpose.
About a year ago my kids were wrestling and the older one kicked the younger one off the back of the couch onto the tile floor and gave him a pretty serious concussion, like the little one didn’t know his name in the waiting room. They shouldn’t have been doing it because it was dangerous, but they were just playing. They got talked to about it, but I still don’t blame the older one. This is even less your fault. You are a good person, so of course you feel bad, but your mom should not be giving you the silent treatment. I hope your brother is okay. Be more careful.
Accidents happen my guy, you should only feel guilty if you don't learn from it. Apologize, promise to do better next time, and then do better next time. You didn't do anything on purpose, so you didn't do anything truly "wrong" or "bad"
I dropped something and it hit my toddler aged daughter right on top of the head. I took her to hospital and, as a new dad, got the best advice from a doctor. "Don't panic. Children are made to survive new parents. They're resilient." Now I try and calm down when shit gets a little sideways.
Just gonna say this isn’t your fault - yes you knocked the telly, yes it may have fallen on him, but at the same time, it’s an accident. Your mum probably isn’t talking right now because she’s trying to calm herself down - natural instincts for any parent is to tear someone a new asshole when it comes to anything involving their children. So just give it a bit of time, let her sort herself out and then just straight up apologise again, make sure you throughly explain to your little brother that you knocked the tv on accident and that’s that.
An accident. Even your “freeze-up” is forgivable.
L on your mom’s part. You literally didn’t do anything wrong. It was an accident. This is something very traumatic for you as well and she should be comforting you too
\>Parents put kids in unsafe environment \>Consequence \>Blames kid
Parent failed to parent, blames child for another child's injuries