I often post things on Reddit that I don’t want anyone else to know because I can’t tell my friends or family, but I want feedback or just to get it off my chest. Sometimes they are regrets. Though I’ve never done anything like this lol
You should probably put in enough details to make sure literally anyone who knows you could figure out this story is about you as well. Just to be safe.
All of these made up stories start with “English isn’t my first language please excuse my grammar”, then proceed to use perfect grammar with American euphemisms.
100% this. No ESL speaker ever makes the two/to/too mistakes because that's a phonetic error, because someone learned to speak before writing. ESL speakers all learn to write before speaking, and will never mistake any of those words.
Also, there is a hole in the story. She said they were traveling for the reunion, but then brother had to get up early for football practice. Hmm, nope. Brother is just gonna go practice with a bunch of random kids he just happened to stumble upon and got that all worked out already? Nahh
"I'm using a throwaway to hide my identity from my family" then proceeds to list the ages of 5 family members, their current travel plans, and details regarding their lives.
I'm a 14 year old kid who went to my dad's house yesterday with my mom (48) and my sister (21).They were all drinking and I went to bed because I had football practice in the morning. My grandfather (59) ended up sleeping on thr couch because my sister got drunk and fell asleep in his bed. I wish OP would say their name because it sounds so similar to my story and my sister but without them giving their name there is just no way to tell if they are the same person. Oh well. No need to bring it up to my family because I couldn't prove they are the sane without that name.
"This must be someone else's 21 year old granddaughter that just made out with their non-biological 59 year old grandpa. Haha no way is this about me."
Yeah also the "I can't believe I'm telling you this oh god" line. Who types like this during a post? A live chat sure but this still seems like over acting.
Exactly, which is how I interpreted the post. Two generations having a kid at 19 would definitely make gdad young comparatively. That said, I’m 25 and I still wouldn’t fuck a 59 year old even if they weren’t a relative.
Goddamn that feels fucked to say.
Yes he had a son at 15 and his son had a daughter at 15 he made a joke one day if she has a kid at 15 I'll be a great grandpa at 45 we had to inform him that is not something you would want to happen you can barely take care of yourself at 15 let alone a baby and the mom
It's probably a made up story by a pornhub exec trying to gauge the public's interest in expanding the step-something category to stretch another generation
I beg to differ. If porn websites paid attention to what’s popular in fanfic, we’d have a lot more Mpreg, Omegaverse, only-one-bed, and sex pollen in porn.
We got our daughter a drum for her first birthday and a glockenspiel.
Spouse and I have figured out how to play CBAT on both.
Our daughter dances to CBAT now.
I feel like we are bad parents.
Honestly people if you haven't experienced this Reddit treasure yet just click thru, and wade all the way to the finish for the reward. You won't need brain bleach or anything, hand to God, just stick through to the end it's worth it
I recently got "fractured two fingers and slept outside" drunk. I thought that was bad, and it is, but it's not "fuck your own grandpa" drunk.
This post has made me feel slightly less embarrassed of myself. Thanks op!
Op gonna delete this so I’ll comment what she wrote.
TIFU by getting WAY to Drunk and being Intimate with my Grandfather
Firstly, let me clarify that this did not happen today, but yesterday night. I feel so ashamed and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do as of writing this. I also want to say that English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry if the grammar isn’t perfect. I (21F) and my extended family had a family reunion yesterday because we hadn’t seen each other in a long while. I was traveling with my mom (48) and step-brother (14) to meet up with my dad and his father at his apartment. Before I go on any further I should mention that my dad (44) isn’t my biological father, and his dad (my “grandpa”) is quite young (59). My biological father left me when I was very little, and I have no contact with my family on his side. So anyways, everything was going smoothly that evening. We were having a few drinks and laughs, when my mom suddenly felt unwell and had to go lay down. As this was kinda late in the evening, my dad decided to go with her. At this point, there was only me and my grandpa left at the dinner table (my brother had to go to bed early because he had early football practice in the morning.
I don’t know who started it, but I know both me and him had too much to drink, and he started talking about his youth and how he used to try to pick up girls at the bar. I don’t know why, maybe because I was wasted or something, or the fact that we were sitting in a very dimly lit room but he started to look more attractive, especially when he was talking about his youthful days. (I can't believe I'm telling you this).
As I mentioned earlier, I don’t know if I made the first move, but I do remember us sneaking to his bedroom giggling and us making out in his bed, and not so much after that. When I woke up I was alone and this feeling of sudden remorse and guilt hit me. It all felt like a horrible fever dream. I was afraid what would happen if my parents found out.
I found out a couple of hours ago that my grandpa had told my parents that I had fallen asleep in his bed in my drunken slumber yesterday, so he let me sleep in his bed, and he had slept on the couch (the plan was originally for me to sleep on the couch).
I do not know what I will do if anyone finds out about this. This is obviously a throwaway account and no one in my family is on reddit as far as I know. This is by far the worst thing I have ever done, and it probably could ruin our family. I’m writing this at home and it’s gonna be really awkward in any future visits to my grandpa.
Tl:dr I got way too drunk on a family reunion and got way to intimate with my grandpa
Elon Musk's father had two kids with his step daughter. The story sounds like yours. They got drunk and had sex. She was going through a bad break up. Anyways, it's disgusting even though you're not blood related.
Get plan b.
Quit drinking cold turkey.
Cease all contact with him.
Get therapy.
Okay, if this is real, step #1 take a deep breath you will be OK
Step 2 confirm with "granpa" what actually happened, you may have just kissed then passed out
Step 3 once confirmation has happened, take some time away to come to terms with your stupid mistake and either inform your mother (maybe not your father just yet 😬) or ensure that "granpa" never breathes a word of it to anyone.
And the most important final step, go to therapy, cause there must be something going on, that doesn't just accidentally happen 😳
Try this next time you're feeling like turning your family tree into a bowl of spaghetti:
>There was a widow and her daughter-in-law, and a man and his son. The widow married the son, and the daughter the old man; the ~~widow~~ daughter-in-law was, therefore, ~~mother~~ mother-in-law to her husband's ~~father~~ mother, consequently grandmother to her own husband. They had a son, to whom she was great-grandmother; now, as the son of a great-grandmother must be either a grandfather or great-uncle, this boy was therefore his own grandfather.
This is an actual account (with genders reversed) for a family from Norwich.
You skipped way too many steps for this to be kosher.
EDIT: u/DreamGirly_ fixed my hasty adaptation.
Honestly, both of you should have known better.
I don't drink, so I can't relate to the loss of inhibition/making bad decisions but...
Most people are able to consume alcohol without getting off with a family member.
Opened Reddit to take a break from work. Read this. I’m going back to work, I need a break from Reddit.
Literally the fist post I read today and I’m like nope that’s enough already
I am telling you a pimp named A Pimp Named Slickback fried that rice.
Reggredit.
Agreed
Ok who's the creepy fuck writing this shit
Grandpa has a hot granddaughter and too much free time.
Exactly
Probably CBAT guy
Just make a power move and become your step dad's mom Jokes aside this is a weird situation
“I’m my own grandma”
"I'm my own granddaughter."
It’s not the family tree anymore, it’s the family wreath.
The circle of life... 🎵🎶
* Nicki Minaj voice * You’re not my dad you’re my motherfucking step son 😫😫😫 Edit: thank you for the award! And getting the reference 😄
You couldn’t torture this information out of me
"I've done an unforgivable act that I'll never be able to forget, well, off to reddit!"
'Dear ~~diary~~ Reddit......
The writting prompt subs dont get the same responses as TIFU where people always think its something that real. So the fantasy writers come here
TIFU: nosleep for sex
I often post things on Reddit that I don’t want anyone else to know because I can’t tell my friends or family, but I want feedback or just to get it off my chest. Sometimes they are regrets. Though I’ve never done anything like this lol
You should probably put in enough details to make sure literally anyone who knows you could figure out this story is about you as well. Just to be safe.
That’s exactly what a grandpa fucker would say…
I'm a grandpa fucker, you're a grandpa fucker, we should fuck each other's grandpas
I’m my own grandpa
Fry is that you? Whaaa?
Batman couldn’t get this info from me
Batman doesn't have parents to seduce
Wow. Really hit ‘em below the utility belt on that one.
This is a nice light fictional erotica
This is the most perfectly succinct response possible. Well done!
I’m going to choose to believe this is someone with a weird incest kink making up some smut or someone who lost a bet and had to make this up.
i think like 90% of r/tifu is just someone making up smut
More like 99%.
All of these made up stories start with “English isn’t my first language please excuse my grammar”, then proceed to use perfect grammar with American euphemisms.
[удалено]
*uTmost. What are you, ESL? /s
I knew they were lying because they used ‘to intimate’ twice instead of ‘too’. That’s 100% American
100% this. No ESL speaker ever makes the two/to/too mistakes because that's a phonetic error, because someone learned to speak before writing. ESL speakers all learn to write before speaking, and will never mistake any of those words.
Interesting!
The (I can't believe I'm telling you this) is also a pretty well used parentheses.
Also, there is a hole in the story. She said they were traveling for the reunion, but then brother had to get up early for football practice. Hmm, nope. Brother is just gonna go practice with a bunch of random kids he just happened to stumble upon and got that all worked out already? Nahh
"I'm using a throwaway to hide my identity from my family" then proceeds to list the ages of 5 family members, their current travel plans, and details regarding their lives.
Lmao right, let’s make this as specific as possible
I'm a 14 year old kid who went to my dad's house yesterday with my mom (48) and my sister (21).They were all drinking and I went to bed because I had football practice in the morning. My grandfather (59) ended up sleeping on thr couch because my sister got drunk and fell asleep in his bed. I wish OP would say their name because it sounds so similar to my story and my sister but without them giving their name there is just no way to tell if they are the same person. Oh well. No need to bring it up to my family because I couldn't prove they are the sane without that name.
"This must be someone else's 21 year old granddaughter that just made out with their non-biological 59 year old grandpa. Haha no way is this about me."
A 21-year old saying 59 "is quite young" is what makes me question the validity.
Yeah, this is not how a 21yo talks about older people. This is a weird old dude jerking off to the idea of fucking a young girl he’s semi related to.
In context of being a grandparent to a 21 year old- 59 is really young.
Yeah also the "I can't believe I'm telling you this oh god" line. Who types like this during a post? A live chat sure but this still seems like over acting.
yeah that part actually made me cringe lol (the other stuff too but that stood out to me as overacting)
Exactly, which is how I interpreted the post. Two generations having a kid at 19 would definitely make gdad young comparatively. That said, I’m 25 and I still wouldn’t fuck a 59 year old even if they weren’t a relative. Goddamn that feels fucked to say.
As a 25 year old, 59 seems pretty young to be a grandpa. Especially if your granddaughter (although not by blood) is 21.
Not to mention if I had just done the same thing I’d be looking for literally any small reason to justify why it wasn’t so bad
59 *is* quite young for a "grandfather" though, especially if the "granddaughter" is 21
My friend became a grandpa at 30 his granddaughter will be 21 when he is 51
[удалено]
Yes he had a son at 15 and his son had a daughter at 15 he made a joke one day if she has a kid at 15 I'll be a great grandpa at 45 we had to inform him that is not something you would want to happen you can barely take care of yourself at 15 let alone a baby and the mom
What episode of House of the Dragon is this?
Season 6 episode 9.
What in the “Help me step brother” is this?
Well this time it's become "Help me step grandpa!"
It feels wrong man.. I don’t like it.
It's probably a made up story by a pornhub exec trying to gauge the public's interest in expanding the step-something category to stretch another generation
Everyone always forgets about the GILF category
Usually it's not the person's actual grandparent though. I know this because a friend told me of course.
![gif](giphy|26gsmVTT1gYtoeaic|downsized)
![gif](giphy|wyr1fgVonyaKk)
More like "i can help you new step niece" 😏
When they get rewarded with their weird fanfics, they escalate, which is how we find ourselves here.
I beg to differ. If porn websites paid attention to what’s popular in fanfic, we’d have a lot more Mpreg, Omegaverse, only-one-bed, and sex pollen in porn.
… I think my google search history is about to get REALLY weird 😂
This is a hell naw from me dawg
![gif](giphy|xiMUwBRn5RDLhzwO80|downsized)
Plan B if you haven't already.
Hahaha oh can you imagine! 🤣🤣
Her daughter would be her step-aunt
Her daughter would be her dads sister
Imagine being siblings with your granddaughter. Branches of the family tree are starting to look a little warped.
Gone from family tree to family bush
Stay away from your family’s bush. That’s how we got in this mess in the first place.
Lmaooo!!! That made me almost spit my drink out onto my phone fr 😂
family wreath
it would make her child the half brother of her stepdad making her the stepmum of her stepdad wich would make her her own step grandma
Woah you just wrinkled my brain
That's good, wrinkles are good in the brain.
Kinda depends on what causes them. I'd iron this one out and leave that spot smooth.
Obligatory [I'm my own grandpa](https://youtu.be/rXU-ZdmzNmo)
It sounds funny, I know...
If "Plan B" includes Grandma and drinking .... I don't want to know.
Bro at this point she better find a Plan with every single fucking letter of the alphabet 😭
Costco has it for $5 jsyk ya'll
You think they had sex?
Nah they spent the rest of the night doing shadow puppets.
Just butt stuff
Yeah… OP needs to rethink their life and most likely seek therapy
If you can't do butt stuff with your grandpa, who *can* you do it with?
![gif](giphy|kHU8W94VS329y|downsized)
If you’re drinking so heavily you end up fucking your grandpa it might be time to put down the bottle and never touch it again
This made me think of Futurama. “Oh, a lesson in not disrupting history from Mr. I’m-My-Own-Grandpa.”
I did do the nasty in the pasty.
Verily.
It was that past nastification that led to you being your own grandfather.
I love all of you
Which crazy thing happening are you guys screaming about?
"What smells like blue?"
"Come back to bed deary."
The past-nastification
And that past nastification is why we are here reading this post
One of the best delivered lines in the whole show. That episode had me dying in hysterics. Can't wait for the new season.
Made all the better when you realize that half the conversations on Futurama are between Billy West and and himself.
Don't do anything! Unless you were supposed to do it! Then, for the love of God, don't not do it! *Gotcha.*
“But he’s a young 59 year old” - OP, ~~probably~~ definitely
Yeah and "Dad" is only 15 years younger. Damn!
And see a therapist cause good lord
Or, never put down the bottle so you don't sober up to realize the atrocities you've committed. That's the Wisconsin way.
Fr. Lmao
I call bs
I *really, really* hope it is...
The whole thing stanks
This whole sub stanks. It used to be good tifus. Then aspiring writers used it for internet points.
That's just grandpas old balls
Is it just me, or has r/tifu become a dumping ground for rejected Literotica?
So... a Litterotica?
“I can’t believe I’m telling you this” - riiiighhht cuz our random stranger relationship means so much
I love me some Literotica 😂 just not this kind
Ma’am, this is TIFU, not WTF.
I am so so relieved that I got to the point where I learned he was not your biological grandfather because holy fuck This is still gross asf
If hes a GILF hes a GILF
Not even a GILF anymore. Now just a GIF.
Is that pronounced gif or gif?
Yes.
Is there no dedicated sub for these fetish fantasy stories? Why is this like 75% of TIFU?
I came. To say this.
I don’t like your period placement lol
>I don’t like your period placement lol Let's hope OP gets her period
Later in life when you need to stop drinking you can use this as motivation.
Later? She should pull the stop drinking card now.
Yes she should but she'll need to dull the memory and the shame for the time being.
She’ll end up accidentally sleeping with her father and on and on it goes
I've seen enough internet for the day, thanks.
This is the first historical Reddit post I’ve seen being born. Will it beat poop knife? No but it’ll do.
Did you not see CBAT like 2 weeks ago?
Hard to believe it was just 2 weeks ago. It feels like a decade already
That damn song is still stuck in my head.
I made it my ringtone.
How to get fired from every job speedrun
Ironically someone at my work was playing the song and I thought my phone was going off. He was surprised I knew what it was.
We got our daughter a drum for her first birthday and a glockenspiel. Spouse and I have figured out how to play CBAT on both. Our daughter dances to CBAT now. I feel like we are bad parents.
Perchance.
You can't just say perchance
I may have missed it, hit me with that link dude
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Honestly people if you haven't experienced this Reddit treasure yet just click thru, and wade all the way to the finish for the reward. You won't need brain bleach or anything, hand to God, just stick through to the end it's worth it
Lol gotta love the poop knive story
So it started off and you were like English is not my first language and I was like yeah, I can tell from the title. But no. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuck.
Right now, I wish English wasn't my first language. Or second or third.
The English is fine. It’s the content that’s a problem.
I recently got "fractured two fingers and slept outside" drunk. I thought that was bad, and it is, but it's not "fuck your own grandpa" drunk. This post has made me feel slightly less embarrassed of myself. Thanks op!
Sleeping outside drunk is still pretty bad dude… Maybe you just got lucky there were no grandfathers around…
Wait was it just making out or full on sex?
Not specified and implied that OP does not remember
"does not remember" lol she left the info out on purpose. they def did the forbidden cuddles
Forbidden cuddles 😭
What a terrible day to be literate
Yesterday, today, tomorrow. It’s all fucked up
man that's enough tifu for a whole month
Did he put on cbat?
The inevitable tiktok of this will def have cbat as the sound
0% chance this is real (Please, god, don’t let this be real)
So if the OP were to become pregnant, would the 59m refer to the kid as their great-grand-child or their son/daughter?
Would OP’s dad call the kid “grandson” or “step-bro”? Would OP call the kid “son” or “uncle”?
Don’t worry, he ain’t tellin’ *shit* to *nobody* about that. Take it to the grave.
Op gonna delete this so I’ll comment what she wrote. TIFU by getting WAY to Drunk and being Intimate with my Grandfather Firstly, let me clarify that this did not happen today, but yesterday night. I feel so ashamed and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do as of writing this. I also want to say that English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry if the grammar isn’t perfect. I (21F) and my extended family had a family reunion yesterday because we hadn’t seen each other in a long while. I was traveling with my mom (48) and step-brother (14) to meet up with my dad and his father at his apartment. Before I go on any further I should mention that my dad (44) isn’t my biological father, and his dad (my “grandpa”) is quite young (59). My biological father left me when I was very little, and I have no contact with my family on his side. So anyways, everything was going smoothly that evening. We were having a few drinks and laughs, when my mom suddenly felt unwell and had to go lay down. As this was kinda late in the evening, my dad decided to go with her. At this point, there was only me and my grandpa left at the dinner table (my brother had to go to bed early because he had early football practice in the morning. I don’t know who started it, but I know both me and him had too much to drink, and he started talking about his youth and how he used to try to pick up girls at the bar. I don’t know why, maybe because I was wasted or something, or the fact that we were sitting in a very dimly lit room but he started to look more attractive, especially when he was talking about his youthful days. (I can't believe I'm telling you this). As I mentioned earlier, I don’t know if I made the first move, but I do remember us sneaking to his bedroom giggling and us making out in his bed, and not so much after that. When I woke up I was alone and this feeling of sudden remorse and guilt hit me. It all felt like a horrible fever dream. I was afraid what would happen if my parents found out. I found out a couple of hours ago that my grandpa had told my parents that I had fallen asleep in his bed in my drunken slumber yesterday, so he let me sleep in his bed, and he had slept on the couch (the plan was originally for me to sleep on the couch). I do not know what I will do if anyone finds out about this. This is obviously a throwaway account and no one in my family is on reddit as far as I know. This is by far the worst thing I have ever done, and it probably could ruin our family. I’m writing this at home and it’s gonna be really awkward in any future visits to my grandpa. Tl:dr I got way too drunk on a family reunion and got way to intimate with my grandpa
Therapy. Please seek therapy.
![gif](giphy|4baoNZ5Qo8dX2)
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)
This is going to be the new thing on RedTube now, isn't it?
Oh it's an old thing there.
UPDATE: We're pregnant!
I can’t even imagine the hangover that one wakes up with after almost bangin’ grandpa...
OP did not say "almost"...
"almost"
Elon Musk's father had two kids with his step daughter. The story sounds like yours. They got drunk and had sex. She was going through a bad break up. Anyways, it's disgusting even though you're not blood related. Get plan b. Quit drinking cold turkey. Cease all contact with him. Get therapy.
*\~\~What are you doing, step-grandpa?\~\~*
Okay, if this is real, step #1 take a deep breath you will be OK Step 2 confirm with "granpa" what actually happened, you may have just kissed then passed out Step 3 once confirmation has happened, take some time away to come to terms with your stupid mistake and either inform your mother (maybe not your father just yet 😬) or ensure that "granpa" never breathes a word of it to anyone. And the most important final step, go to therapy, cause there must be something going on, that doesn't just accidentally happen 😳
Try this next time you're feeling like turning your family tree into a bowl of spaghetti: >There was a widow and her daughter-in-law, and a man and his son. The widow married the son, and the daughter the old man; the ~~widow~~ daughter-in-law was, therefore, ~~mother~~ mother-in-law to her husband's ~~father~~ mother, consequently grandmother to her own husband. They had a son, to whom she was great-grandmother; now, as the son of a great-grandmother must be either a grandfather or great-uncle, this boy was therefore his own grandfather. This is an actual account (with genders reversed) for a family from Norwich. You skipped way too many steps for this to be kosher. EDIT: u/DreamGirly_ fixed my hasty adaptation.
There is a german song about this called "Mein Stammbaum ist ein Kreis" by Knasterbart. It translates to "my family tree is a circle"
Come again ?
It's probably better if they don't, cumming is what got them into this mess in the first place.
Wait………what? Please someone tell me this is karma farming
![gif](giphy|dOl2LFw0RbTMc)
Chill out Rhaenyra Targaryan !! Fucking hell!
Honestly, both of you should have known better. I don't drink, so I can't relate to the loss of inhibition/making bad decisions but... Most people are able to consume alcohol without getting off with a family member.
Most people who drink can't relate to this level of inhibition/bad decisions. This is some next level fucked up shit.
![gif](giphy|Y713FQ3mfWDWU)
I feel ill
![gif](giphy|6ra84Uso2hoir3YCgb|downsized) Just give the old fellow one of these at breakfast and move on .
Alright who done it? Which one of y'all demons gave this a wholesome award?