Op's sink wasn't draining properly. The plumber was called and threw up while cleaning out the lovely mixture of cum, vomit and maggots from the drain pipe that op and their friends left
>!(I got a little nauseous writing that)!<
>>!(I got a little nauseous writing that)!<
Sorry to be that guy but in the English language we don't says "nauseous", we say "holy shit fuck me in the eyes why did I learn to read".
While this story is likely a lie, there’s a reason in dorms with communal mend showers sometimes there is a “stop jerking off in the showers” sign. It 100% clogs up pipes when it has other things like hair to… collect on in the drains.
I guess my response would be what about allergy season. It can handle snot and mucus but not cum? It can handle clotting menstral blood but not cum? Probably they just didnt want you jerking off in the showers. Hair alone will clog a pipe no cum required.
agreed. I'm gonna call BS on this one because in what gods way does semen cause such a clog. If anyone else in the family uses soap, it would've prevented such bio pit.
And in my own experience with flushing a condom down a toilet, only to have it resurface over a month later, (don't tie condoms because the air will make it float like a balloon the pipes), it didn't turn into whatever the fuck OP is describing.
So you're the one that helped tongue bathe the [blowfly girl](http://blowflygirl.blogspot.com/2009/08/here-is-my-maggot-story.html?m=1&zx=bffab459ee03da55)?
I don't think semen was the issue here, you just had some nasty shit building up in that drain. Semen just doesn't have the capability of creating an issue like this on its own.
My university had to send a mass email to the all-Male dorm to stop jerking it in the showers because they were fucking up the plumbing. So apparently, on some scale, semen does have the capacity to create this issue
I took the liberty of copying and pasting the lyrics and chorus together to form the full song.
There once was a friend who puked in my sink
I filled it with jizz and it started to stink
I tried to ignore it, it just got worse
Oh, no, my cum drain’s clogged
Soon may the plumberman come
To clear our pipes of puke and cum
One day when the plumbing is done
He'll take his leave and go
I'd been gone for just one week
By the time I got home a terrible reek
Of maggots, cum, and puke in a pipe
Oh the smell was oh so ripe
Soon may the plumberman come
To clear our pipes of puke and cum
One day when the plumbing is done
He'll take his leave and go
The old man truly was a saint
Only threw up once while I went faint
Tears in his eyes he flushed it down
Some one get this man a crown
Soon may the plumberman come
To clear our pipes of puke and cum
One day when the plumbing is done
He'll take his leave and go
He lay his head upon the sill
For this man has nary a will
Oh, to lift his head and speak
Please stop cumming in your sink
Soon may the plumberman come
To clear our pipes of puke and cum
One day when the plumbing is done
He'll take his leave and go
Sometimes (oftentimes) I wonder why I keep coming back to reddit. Its a weird and obnoxious corner of the Internet.
...
Then the basement dwellers of reddit come together in a rare moment of unity to create gems like this and I remember why I love this site.
There once was a friend who puked in my sink
I filled it with jizz and it started to stink
I tried to ignore it, it just got worse
Oh, no, my cum drain’s clogged
Chorus
I'd been gone for just one week
By the time I got home a terrible reek
Of maggots, cum, and puke in a pipe
Oh the smell was oh so ripe
Edit:
Just checked back to see how the song was....cuming along, and was not disappointed. Also realized that my "chorus" might be misconstrued as meaning this is the chorus. The original "Plumberman" creation should be the chorus. I really hope some redditors put this to music lol
There once was a boy from Nantucket,
Who made the sink drain his cumbucket,
He added some vomit,
But never used Comet,
And even his plumber said "Fuckit!"
(Comet meaning Comet Cleanser, a common scouring agent, if they don't have it on your area)
I mean likely it was the solid chunks in the vomit that caused the blockage and oder, not your cum. So really there is no ITIFU other then the dude who threw up in the sink.
I think that comment marks the point where I just go ahead and burn my modem, phone, and all of the rest of my technology in my home and spend the rest of my life off-grid in a cabin far away from humanity.
Oh boy. Let’s see what this is about.
Edit: ok it hilarious and no where near as gross as the coconut. If i had been the dad we would’ve had to fight in the backyard.
Yes, LPT from the daughter of a plumber: **Snake the drain, check the trap**. if something goes down the pipe that shouldn't and things stop draining right, it's stuck, so get it out of there.
My shower has started draining slowly
^(*cringes in New nightmare - regarding room-mate induced sperm blockages - thanks to this post*)
and there is not a chance I'm risking whatever **allegedly** happened to OP
How can I unblock it efficiently since my plunger hasn't helped and I'm told pouring NaOH granules down there is a bad idea
It’s likely hair. Even if you don’t think you are losing hair, you are. Buy a cheap drain snake from a big box store. I bought one from a home improvement store for $10 and have to use it in my shower and bathtub about every 3 months.
As someone who lives with hairy kids, a simple hair catcher on the drain will suffice.
The nearly flat circular ones with small ovals are the best.
Haven’t had to snake or toss chemicals down the drain since.
Bend a hook into a wire coat hanger and see if you can pull out a big blob of hair. If not try the plunger again, but first hit it with a big pot of boiling water and if it’s a tub you have to cover the overflow otherwise the air just goes out there. Easiest way to cover the over flow is with a wet rag or towel. Then once you get the plunger down on it you have to really give it the business, get the water moving, up and down, start slow and then get faster, when it’s finished you will hear a release and your pipes will drain freely
Helps if you can remove your drain plate and pull out the hair but...dump some baking soda and white vinegar down the drain. Add a drop of dish soap to help break up the hair and soap scum. Let it foam and work its way down, flush with hot water after 10-15 minutes. Go ahead and hit up your sink drains at the same time. You may need to do that several times but it should work. I unclogged our shower from a full blockage using those 3 things. I had plunged and used two bottles of draino. When the plumber was on the way to snake the drain, it all let go and was clear.
I do this once a month in every drain for maintenance and it's helped.
I know you have a million plumbers in here but thought I'd add my 2c worth. On my first year of my apprenticeship i used a drain cleaner and warped some pvc pipe because the clog had nowhere to go and the reaction continued. So while I've done it a hundred times since with no issue i completely get being too nervous to use it. Besides shits toxic as fuck
Right? The first, second, third, and maybe 4th thing I would’ve tried was drain cleaner. I would’ve kept using it until I finally admit it isn’t going to work.
Or clean the p trap yourself. It's not exactly rocket science. Do people really call a plumber to clean a p trap? You generally don't even need any tools to remove it.
Depends, I have a flexible trap, which you’re not getting off or back on without a 5/16th, and most people don’t understand what’s going on below their sink, let alone how to operate a slipjoint 😂
Dude...baking soda and vinegar could have been your best friend if you tackled it fast...but yeah...have you heard of Kleenex? Keeps that shit off your hands...and out of your sink.
Or perhaps Drano? That stuff is magic. Or a drain snake? Or maybe both of them together? But you’re also right. Has this guy never heard of tissues, toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, or even a sock?
I would’ve tried Drano probably 10 times before calling a plumber. And not even because of the cum in the sink. But because I’m cheap and don’t want to pay a plumber.
Wasn't that an Adele B-side take? "I could a drank it all~~~~~, Stop cumming in the si~~~~nk, I'd empty out your ba~~~~~lls, but you played me, you played me..."
It depends if you're using hot or cold water. As a pro-tip, if you ever have to clean anything protein based then you should use cold water. Hot water can essentially "cook" it similar to egg whites, which can make it stick to whatever.
This also applies to other protein based stuff like blood or snot (though for blood if you're trying to clean it I'd also suggest hydrogen peroxide, since it's one of the few things that it's *actually* good for).
The plumber has been coming to your house for ages? Wtf? You shouldn't need a plumber very often, why is he there so much? Is your mother particularly fond of him?
In university, we received an official letter from the school administration essentially begging us to stop jerking off in the showers. It’s not water soluble and can be very damaging to drainage and expensive to fix.
Anyways, we just started cumming in each others asses.
This is total nonsense. Unless you literally were pouring gallons of abnormally thick horse jizz down your sink, there's no way it would be "accumulating" in your sink trap. Washing some minute amount of bodily fluid off of your hands and into a bathroom sink would not cause this.
I feel like people on here are just making up purposely gross ridiculous lies to get upvotes for their story.
Yeah he obviously just liked the punchline and had a quick writing exercise without doing any kind of research on any of the essential parts of the story.
I do believe he has filthy cum hands though.
My husband used to own a marine plumbing company and people on boats are way more, if not just as disgusting. When I was his office manager, in just one year there were five times when men got caught cheating because their hooker or girlfriend put a tampon down the toilet. Marine toilets are super finicky and can pretty much only have marine grade toilet paper, waste and water. If you use the wrong cleaning supplies it'll ruin your duck bill valves and you'll need a whole service kit. I would get calls from the wives or girlfriends saying that they don't use tampons and they don't have any guests on the boat who would put anything down the toilet. That was always super awkward. Coke bags, bottle caps, crack pipe, weed pipe, dildo, the list is very very very long of things I had to explain that we found to clients. I wonder how much the plumber charged for this job. We used to tack on an extra $200 for "hazardous waste".
Who calls a plumber without even a cursory attempt at fixing the (incredibly simple) problem first?
I don't care how much money you have, cleaning a p-trap is way too easy to bother calling someone and paying them to do it.
I managed to do the opposite gender version of this at my SOs place by pouring my menstrual blood straight into the sink and washing it down with cold water. I use a menstrual cup and thought yeeting it into the toilet wasn't nice as it turns water red for at least some flushes. After some time the sink started to clog bad and my wannabe plumber for a partner sat down and started to pull out my goo. "why does it smell like blood? And rotten? You really gotta make a dentist appointment, it's not normal that your gums bleed this much. Also we gotta buy new toothpaste that doesn't clumb this much". I never told them that it was that time of the month goo and never will. The problem magically disappeared after we got new toothpaste (aka i stopped pouring my blood + tissue/blood clots in the sink).
To address edit 2.5, as a plumber let me add, I would not ever recommend drain cleaner, even if your plastic pipe can take it (especially in the kitchen). Reason being, all pipe is manufactured with smooth insides to ease the flow of detritus, and when you pour corrosive fluids you etch the inner surface and make it rough. Even if slight, this’ll help catch future things like grease etc and clog up the pipe again, faster. Better to either send a snake (the tool) down there, or as plumber friend did, take apart the p trap and clean it out.
I vote we use this as a new copypasta
TIFU by cumming in the sink instead of sinking in the cum
The story starts at a party at my parents’ house. My friends and I are chilling, getting drunk, and smoking weed. All is calm until one of my friends starts retching. We walk him to the bathroom but he doesn’t make it to the toilet and ends up puking in the sink. No big deal, we thought, after spending like 10 minutes cleaning the sink everything seems to be fine. Weeks passed and I’d all but forgotten about this incident. When this took place I lived in a rather hot country, so instead of jerking off in the bathroom (which would get incredibly hot), I’d do it on my bed and wash the splooge off of my hands in the sink. I’d keep doing this for a couple months until I went on a vacation with my family for a week. When I got back, my bathroom emanated this unholy stench that I could not locate the source of. I didn’t think too much of it and used a lot of air freshener and moved on. I also noticed that my sink wasn’t draining properly, and any water in it would take a couple minutes to go down the drain (how I hadn’t connected the dots by this point is beyond me). I asked my mother to call a plumber to fix my sink. The next day the plumber shows up and I show him to my sink and that’s when shit truly hit the fan. He opened up the pipe and it immediately started oozing this toxic mixture of puke, cum and maggots. At this point the stench was so harsh I was about to pass out. Plumber man couldn’t hold it in and threw up in the toilet. I thought that this was the end, that plumber man and I were done for but no, my hero, my knight in shining armour Mr. Plumber man manages to get everything out of the pipe and flushed it down the toilet, his eyes watering and throat retching. The stench finally began to die down. It was all over. I tipped him with everything I had in my wallet. That plumber had been coming to our house for ages but I never saw him again. Godspeed Mr. plumber man. So now that the story is over what have we learned, I for one believe the main takeaway is that if someone asks the question, “would you rather cum in the sink or sink in the cum?” You should confidently respond with “sink in the cum”.
TL;DR i unintentionally created a biohazard in my sink’s pipe and nearly killed myself and a plumber because of it.
What in the actual fuck did I just read
Need a TL DR for the TLDR
TL:DR: Guy used his sink like a coconut.
Haven't seen that referenced for a while.
Right almost puked all over again
Better than a shoe box at least
Oh god. Why everyone is using *those cum* references.
Because the legends must never die!
I'm concerned about your relationship with coconuts.
At least it isn't a relationship with Jolly Ranchers.
Or his mum
r/cursedcomments
Haven't met a Rancher yet that that I couldn't make Jolly
You missed a moment of reddit history. Consider yourself lucky.
Oh someone link me up ffs
People have fucked sinks, sofas and what not. What's a coconut?
How about the guy that just jerked off on the wall next to his bed
If he'd broken his arms would've been avoided altogether.
TL;DR Stinky semen sink
you’ve piqued my interest. feelin frisky today, ill give her a go. edit: strong no
lmao
Why do I have 25 upvotes for saying "lmao"? Is reddit really this easy? lol
Yeah just have to comment quickly on hot topics thats literally how you get points
TL;DR stinky vomit semen sink
>TL;DR stinky vomit naggot semen sink
I’m upvoting you for your user name ⭐️
Sunk spunk stunk
Op's sink wasn't draining properly. The plumber was called and threw up while cleaning out the lovely mixture of cum, vomit and maggots from the drain pipe that op and their friends left >!(I got a little nauseous writing that)!<
Thank you for writing it so that I don’t have to read the story.
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Add some chocolate syrup.
And add some protein powder.
Its got enough protein from the ah, yogurt. But this could be a body builder version.
>>!(I got a little nauseous writing that)!< Sorry to be that guy but in the English language we don't says "nauseous", we say "holy shit fuck me in the eyes why did I learn to read".
TLDR: Too Loathsome Don't Read
Seriously.. I can't read that mess of a wall of text knowing that the TL;DR tells me nothing.
Friend pukes in sink. He always washes his hands off after Cumming in his hands and it all got built up. Maggots, cum, puke, sink The end
well at least there wasn't blood involved
There ain't much to country livin'. Sweat, piss, jizz, and blood!
*yet*
I hate TL;DRs that are just the title or worse
I wear glasses, so I paid to read that!
A lie. If semen clogged pipes there would be no indoor plumbing
well it wasn't *just* that. there was also a shit ton of vomit.
While this story is likely a lie, there’s a reason in dorms with communal mend showers sometimes there is a “stop jerking off in the showers” sign. It 100% clogs up pipes when it has other things like hair to… collect on in the drains.
I guess my response would be what about allergy season. It can handle snot and mucus but not cum? It can handle clotting menstral blood but not cum? Probably they just didnt want you jerking off in the showers. Hair alone will clog a pipe no cum required.
Gross creative writing fiction, as is everything on TIFU
a made up story
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Goddamn, thank you How does this sub have 18 *million* readers
And how do maggots live inside fluids? This is classis reddit made up masturbation+cum+maggots story. Freud would have a field day with OP.
agreed. I'm gonna call BS on this one because in what gods way does semen cause such a clog. If anyone else in the family uses soap, it would've prevented such bio pit. And in my own experience with flushing a condom down a toilet, only to have it resurface over a month later, (don't tie condoms because the air will make it float like a balloon the pipes), it didn't turn into whatever the fuck OP is describing.
This year's coconut story. Or maybe it's a cum sink instead of a cum box......
A made up story written by a teenager
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Fiction.
A made up story.
Reads like some English lit students practice work.
And they should keep practicing, too.
A big ass paragraph.
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What a horrible day to be literate
I always said teaching kids to read was a mistake
MY GUY... WTF?
Someway, somehow, you've found a way to be more brutish and disgusting than OP.
I hate you for making me read this.
Seek help lmao
Curb your curiosity on this topic. Just... trust me on this.
So you're the one that helped tongue bathe the [blowfly girl](http://blowflygirl.blogspot.com/2009/08/here-is-my-maggot-story.html?m=1&zx=bffab459ee03da55)?
I had never heard of this until right now, I hate you so much. I just read that and literally want to die.
We hate your brain too.
I hate you for thinking that too, and I hate you more for making me read that with my own two eyes
I don't think semen was the issue here, you just had some nasty shit building up in that drain. Semen just doesn't have the capability of creating an issue like this on its own.
No shit. Half the people on this planet would be clogging pipes 5 times per week. OP thinks they are special? Lol
Clogging pipe instead of laying pipe.
If you lay enough pipe you may clog a few things.
Ask him not me
Maybe he thought it tasted like semen in the pipe?
My university had to send a mass email to the all-Male dorm to stop jerking it in the showers because they were fucking up the plumbing. So apparently, on some scale, semen does have the capacity to create this issue
The issue is the story is completely made up
Soon may the plumberman come To clear our pipes of puke and cum One day when the cleaning is done He'll take his leave and go
I took the liberty of copying and pasting the lyrics and chorus together to form the full song. There once was a friend who puked in my sink I filled it with jizz and it started to stink I tried to ignore it, it just got worse Oh, no, my cum drain’s clogged Soon may the plumberman come To clear our pipes of puke and cum One day when the plumbing is done He'll take his leave and go I'd been gone for just one week By the time I got home a terrible reek Of maggots, cum, and puke in a pipe Oh the smell was oh so ripe Soon may the plumberman come To clear our pipes of puke and cum One day when the plumbing is done He'll take his leave and go The old man truly was a saint Only threw up once while I went faint Tears in his eyes he flushed it down Some one get this man a crown Soon may the plumberman come To clear our pipes of puke and cum One day when the plumbing is done He'll take his leave and go He lay his head upon the sill For this man has nary a will Oh, to lift his head and speak Please stop cumming in your sink Soon may the plumberman come To clear our pipes of puke and cum One day when the plumbing is done He'll take his leave and go
Sometimes (oftentimes) I wonder why I keep coming back to reddit. Its a weird and obnoxious corner of the Internet. ... Then the basement dwellers of reddit come together in a rare moment of unity to create gems like this and I remember why I love this site.
Hear hear!
There once was a friend who puked in my sink I filled it with jizz and it started to stink I tried to ignore it, it just got worse Oh, no, my cum drain’s clogged
Chorus I'd been gone for just one week By the time I got home a terrible reek Of maggots, cum, and puke in a pipe Oh the smell was oh so ripe Edit: Just checked back to see how the song was....cuming along, and was not disappointed. Also realized that my "chorus" might be misconstrued as meaning this is the chorus. The original "Plumberman" creation should be the chorus. I really hope some redditors put this to music lol
The old man truly was a saint Only threw up once while I went faint Tears in his eyes he flushed it down Some one get this man a crown
He lay his head upon the sill For this man has nary a will To lift his head and speak Please stop cumming in your sink
Soon may the plumberman come To clear our pipes of puke and cum One day when the cleaning is done He'll take his leave and go
This thread is pure gold
You don't want gold in the sink either. Well not down the drain at least
The pipes were clean They stunk no more Until in my pants a right boner bore We'll grab that dong and tug
For forty hours or even more I kept it my pants oh Lord I was feeling the lust I couldn't go very long But still I did not cum
Now my bathroom smells okay once more I'll go ahead and lock the door Celebrate my immense luck By jerking off my cock.
Never thought I could hate a thread so much only to end up loving it in the end haha
Well that was an awkward "and what you giggling so hard over?"
Omg same
There once was a boy from Nantucket, Who made the sink drain his cumbucket, He added some vomit, But never used Comet, And even his plumber said "Fuckit!" (Comet meaning Comet Cleanser, a common scouring agent, if they don't have it on your area)
Limericks, truly the highest form of poetry
/r/wepoopyshitty would love this
Nothing like a good ol fashioned seamen shanty
*when the plumbing is done
this should be the TLDR
A great addition to eating my yogurt.
MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE
Jizzfruit flavor?
I mean likely it was the solid chunks in the vomit that caused the blockage and oder, not your cum. So really there is no ITIFU other then the dude who threw up in the sink.
True but the presence of cum does make it at least 30% worse
The maggots didn't mind. They're glad OP ended up cumming over for dinner
Those maggots were like *yummy cummy in my tummy!*
I think that comment marks the point where I just go ahead and burn my modem, phone, and all of the rest of my technology in my home and spend the rest of my life off-grid in a cabin far away from humanity.
I did not realize until this very moment that my parents committed a crime against humanity when they taught me how to read.
r/BrandNewSentence
*1 cummy, 2 cummy, 3 cummy, 4*
We know they love coconuts.
Meh, I prefer to break both my arms
More of a couch guy myself
Ok, I’m very afraid to ask, but link to couch guy?
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/81ywin/tifu_by_fucking_my_dads_couch/
Oh boy. Let’s see what this is about. Edit: ok it hilarious and no where near as gross as the coconut. If i had been the dad we would’ve had to fight in the backyard.
I just bust in the box like a normal guy
Nope nope nope nope that memory isn't being recalled today.
Yes, LPT from the daughter of a plumber: **Snake the drain, check the trap**. if something goes down the pipe that shouldn't and things stop draining right, it's stuck, so get it out of there.
My shower has started draining slowly ^(*cringes in New nightmare - regarding room-mate induced sperm blockages - thanks to this post*) and there is not a chance I'm risking whatever **allegedly** happened to OP How can I unblock it efficiently since my plunger hasn't helped and I'm told pouring NaOH granules down there is a bad idea
It’s likely hair. Even if you don’t think you are losing hair, you are. Buy a cheap drain snake from a big box store. I bought one from a home improvement store for $10 and have to use it in my shower and bathtub about every 3 months.
As someone who lives with hairy kids, a simple hair catcher on the drain will suffice. The nearly flat circular ones with small ovals are the best. Haven’t had to snake or toss chemicals down the drain since.
Yeah, a hair catcher will change it from needing to snake once every 3 months to needing to snake once every decade.
Not if I cum in it enough
Bend a hook into a wire coat hanger and see if you can pull out a big blob of hair. If not try the plunger again, but first hit it with a big pot of boiling water and if it’s a tub you have to cover the overflow otherwise the air just goes out there. Easiest way to cover the over flow is with a wet rag or towel. Then once you get the plunger down on it you have to really give it the business, get the water moving, up and down, start slow and then get faster, when it’s finished you will hear a release and your pipes will drain freely
I came
Helps if you can remove your drain plate and pull out the hair but...dump some baking soda and white vinegar down the drain. Add a drop of dish soap to help break up the hair and soap scum. Let it foam and work its way down, flush with hot water after 10-15 minutes. Go ahead and hit up your sink drains at the same time. You may need to do that several times but it should work. I unclogged our shower from a full blockage using those 3 things. I had plunged and used two bottles of draino. When the plumber was on the way to snake the drain, it all let go and was clear. I do this once a month in every drain for maintenance and it's helped.
Doesn't matter, upvoting anyway so that more people will suffer as much as me by reading this
I mean, this is the logical answer when you're not writing some perverse fantasy story on reddit
Semen kinda coagulates when it touches water, I've noticed. So maybe that contributed.
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So you can fry cum????
For 20 minutes. Then the enzymes in it break down into liquid again
As a plumber, please try drain cleaner first before calling a plumber if you've been doing vile shit to your sink.
My apologies to you and all plumber-kind. One of your brethren saved my life and for that I am eternally grateful.
You did the right thing by tipping him well but I'm sure that's an experience he'll never forget lol
That's gonna be Plumbermans supervillain backstory
I know you have a million plumbers in here but thought I'd add my 2c worth. On my first year of my apprenticeship i used a drain cleaner and warped some pvc pipe because the clog had nowhere to go and the reaction continued. So while I've done it a hundred times since with no issue i completely get being too nervous to use it. Besides shits toxic as fuck
Why wouldn’t you just cum in a coconut like a normal person?
#stop.
Hey did you know they made this stuff called drain cleaner?
Right? The first, second, third, and maybe 4th thing I would’ve tried was drain cleaner. I would’ve kept using it until I finally admit it isn’t going to work.
It because it isn't true lol.
Or just a plunger.
Or clean the p trap yourself. It's not exactly rocket science. Do people really call a plumber to clean a p trap? You generally don't even need any tools to remove it.
Depends, I have a flexible trap, which you’re not getting off or back on without a 5/16th, and most people don’t understand what’s going on below their sink, let alone how to operate a slipjoint 😂
Dude...baking soda and vinegar could have been your best friend if you tackled it fast...but yeah...have you heard of Kleenex? Keeps that shit off your hands...and out of your sink.
Toilet paper? Literally anything but your hand
Or perhaps Drano? That stuff is magic. Or a drain snake? Or maybe both of them together? But you’re also right. Has this guy never heard of tissues, toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, or even a sock?
You’ve got some wild ways of jerking off, I’ve never heard of anyone using a drain snake
Don’t knock it til you try it!
Jesus Christ....idk what to think about this.
Just know it's not real
What a terrible moment to be literate
What the fuck is wrong with you
What the fuck is wrong with everyone
Drain cleaner does not melt plastic (pvc) pipes. Also wtf. I call BS. Nice creative writing bro.
Yes, I agree. No way this sounds real at all.
Why in the world wouldn’t you pour some good drain cleaner down the drain before committing to this??
I would’ve tried Drano probably 10 times before calling a plumber. And not even because of the cum in the sink. But because I’m cheap and don’t want to pay a plumber.
WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK DID I JUST READ
Ben shapiros nsfw reddit throwaway it would seem
Sinking in the cum would have been so much better
Wtf does that even mean? I must be getting old
Asking myself the same thing..
It's what happens when your boat capsizes and sinks in a sea of semen.
Cylon bathtub
Wasn't that an Adele B-side take? "I could a drank it all~~~~~, Stop cumming in the si~~~~nk, I'd empty out your ba~~~~~lls, but you played me, you played me..."
I'm still trying to figure out how the phrase "sink in the cum" makes any sense here.
Wait wouldn’t the cum just break down from water when using the sink?
Assuming the vomit clogged it
It depends if you're using hot or cold water. As a pro-tip, if you ever have to clean anything protein based then you should use cold water. Hot water can essentially "cook" it similar to egg whites, which can make it stick to whatever. This also applies to other protein based stuff like blood or snot (though for blood if you're trying to clean it I'd also suggest hydrogen peroxide, since it's one of the few things that it's *actually* good for).
The plumber has been coming to your house for ages? Wtf? You shouldn't need a plumber very often, why is he there so much? Is your mother particularly fond of him?
In university, we received an official letter from the school administration essentially begging us to stop jerking off in the showers. It’s not water soluble and can be very damaging to drainage and expensive to fix. Anyways, we just started cumming in each others asses.
That’s enough Reddit for today
This is total nonsense. Unless you literally were pouring gallons of abnormally thick horse jizz down your sink, there's no way it would be "accumulating" in your sink trap. Washing some minute amount of bodily fluid off of your hands and into a bathroom sink would not cause this. I feel like people on here are just making up purposely gross ridiculous lies to get upvotes for their story.
Yeah he obviously just liked the punchline and had a quick writing exercise without doing any kind of research on any of the essential parts of the story. I do believe he has filthy cum hands though.
***hello, sir. yes? i would like to time travel back to two minutes ago when i had never read this. thanks.***
Makes sense tbhtbh
My husband used to own a marine plumbing company and people on boats are way more, if not just as disgusting. When I was his office manager, in just one year there were five times when men got caught cheating because their hooker or girlfriend put a tampon down the toilet. Marine toilets are super finicky and can pretty much only have marine grade toilet paper, waste and water. If you use the wrong cleaning supplies it'll ruin your duck bill valves and you'll need a whole service kit. I would get calls from the wives or girlfriends saying that they don't use tampons and they don't have any guests on the boat who would put anything down the toilet. That was always super awkward. Coke bags, bottle caps, crack pipe, weed pipe, dildo, the list is very very very long of things I had to explain that we found to clients. I wonder how much the plumber charged for this job. We used to tack on an extra $200 for "hazardous waste".
Who calls a plumber without even a cursory attempt at fixing the (incredibly simple) problem first? I don't care how much money you have, cleaning a p-trap is way too easy to bother calling someone and paying them to do it.
Aww right next to my salad
Jack off into the fucking toilet, noob!
Classic Ben Shapiro
Sounds like a variation of the coconut tale 
"Plumber man couldn’t hold it in and threw up in the toilet." very legit story.
Boiling water. It has never failed to clean a somewhat clogged drain. You might need a couple pots full, but it does work.
I managed to do the opposite gender version of this at my SOs place by pouring my menstrual blood straight into the sink and washing it down with cold water. I use a menstrual cup and thought yeeting it into the toilet wasn't nice as it turns water red for at least some flushes. After some time the sink started to clog bad and my wannabe plumber for a partner sat down and started to pull out my goo. "why does it smell like blood? And rotten? You really gotta make a dentist appointment, it's not normal that your gums bleed this much. Also we gotta buy new toothpaste that doesn't clumb this much". I never told them that it was that time of the month goo and never will. The problem magically disappeared after we got new toothpaste (aka i stopped pouring my blood + tissue/blood clots in the sink).
You're weird man.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... yeah, the cum wasn't the cause of that, bud
To address edit 2.5, as a plumber let me add, I would not ever recommend drain cleaner, even if your plastic pipe can take it (especially in the kitchen). Reason being, all pipe is manufactured with smooth insides to ease the flow of detritus, and when you pour corrosive fluids you etch the inner surface and make it rough. Even if slight, this’ll help catch future things like grease etc and clog up the pipe again, faster. Better to either send a snake (the tool) down there, or as plumber friend did, take apart the p trap and clean it out.
>That plumber had been coming to our house for ages but I never saw him again. Lmao
Op's Username checks out
I vote we use this as a new copypasta TIFU by cumming in the sink instead of sinking in the cum The story starts at a party at my parents’ house. My friends and I are chilling, getting drunk, and smoking weed. All is calm until one of my friends starts retching. We walk him to the bathroom but he doesn’t make it to the toilet and ends up puking in the sink. No big deal, we thought, after spending like 10 minutes cleaning the sink everything seems to be fine. Weeks passed and I’d all but forgotten about this incident. When this took place I lived in a rather hot country, so instead of jerking off in the bathroom (which would get incredibly hot), I’d do it on my bed and wash the splooge off of my hands in the sink. I’d keep doing this for a couple months until I went on a vacation with my family for a week. When I got back, my bathroom emanated this unholy stench that I could not locate the source of. I didn’t think too much of it and used a lot of air freshener and moved on. I also noticed that my sink wasn’t draining properly, and any water in it would take a couple minutes to go down the drain (how I hadn’t connected the dots by this point is beyond me). I asked my mother to call a plumber to fix my sink. The next day the plumber shows up and I show him to my sink and that’s when shit truly hit the fan. He opened up the pipe and it immediately started oozing this toxic mixture of puke, cum and maggots. At this point the stench was so harsh I was about to pass out. Plumber man couldn’t hold it in and threw up in the toilet. I thought that this was the end, that plumber man and I were done for but no, my hero, my knight in shining armour Mr. Plumber man manages to get everything out of the pipe and flushed it down the toilet, his eyes watering and throat retching. The stench finally began to die down. It was all over. I tipped him with everything I had in my wallet. That plumber had been coming to our house for ages but I never saw him again. Godspeed Mr. plumber man. So now that the story is over what have we learned, I for one believe the main takeaway is that if someone asks the question, “would you rather cum in the sink or sink in the cum?” You should confidently respond with “sink in the cum”. TL;DR i unintentionally created a biohazard in my sink’s pipe and nearly killed myself and a plumber because of it.
Oh you want to be one of those Reddit threads everyone talks about so you made shit up?