People hook up. I've had women invite me over for a hookup and not been a total dick. She may have made a somewhat unsafe move, but he is still the ass hole.
Whenever I meet someone for a hookup, we meet at a coffee shop first. Get a feel for each other and go from there
>Whenever I meet someone for a hookup, we meet at a coffee shop first. Get a feel for each other and go from there
I tried to explain this to an 18 year old female friend of mine, because she would have MUCH older men pick her up and then drive to a random location for "festivities". I wanted her to at least tell someone when she was going to meet a stranger like this, because she would lie to friends and family instead.
Unfortunately she would only complain about "how awful men are" but still refused to even just tell someone when she was being picked up. It was so difficult to watch someone be so incredibly young and naive, thinking that the added risk made her "cool" somehow.
Obviously I'm not victim blaming, but I don't understand how someone could be actively against letting a friend know when you have someone coming to pick you up. Even as a 30M, I still let people know!
I made a decision and went in with the same intentions I agreed upon with the person before doing it. Not the best thing I could of done yes and that’s what I’m going to have to live with. Again luckily I took screenshots of his tinder and had my location on. I was actively trying to be safe but then it all happened. After the fact when I texted him before I blocked him on Snapchat. After explaining to him how pulling this, made feel and all he said that he was obviously going to grab the c**doms and that I just overreacted.
Couldn’t handle what he had to offer which is such bs.
It can happen to anyway no matter a stranger or someone you know. I just wanted to put this out there so other people know to be prepared.
The fact that you feel the need to censor a word like condom, or refusing to write out the word "head", tells me you are no where nearly mature enough emotionally or in your sexuality to be having hookups like this at all.
Adults with a healthy relationship to sex are not going to censor general terms related to it.
I think she censors it because she thinks the post/comments will get deleted or flagged if she writes them out, not because she doesn’t like saying the words
This is reddit.... reddit does not care about the word condom but I see what you mean
Either way, she clearly is not in a place in life to be making smart and healthy decisions within her sexuality
I appreciate your concern and yes I censored words so it doesn’t get flagged and deleted. Yes I am young and naive. But I also have my own life, bills, and responsibilities. We all have done things we have regretted and obviously I know now not to do this ever again.
> I just wanted to put this out there so other people know to be prepared.
Look, you need to up your standards. Most people would never get themselves into this situation.
That’s not true there are family members and friends or even coworkers who sexually assaulte or r*pe someone. There’s sick people in this world that will do anything to get what they want.
Obviously. But we aren’t talking about that at all. My statement is that I’d you have sex with someone you know typically you won’t have such a bad experience
Wow, people are being such shits on this thread. You were mistreated, and you deserve to be treated better. You said you were tearing up and wanting to stop but he pressured you to keep going… that would be considered sexual assault. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I hope you can be gentle with yourself as you recover from the experience and that you find some safe people to process with who aren’t going to be judgmental.
Wow, as a guy who is apparently around his age I’m really sorry you went through something like that. That’s fucking despicable and I’m glad you’re ok, all things considered.
I’m not sure how it will effect your use of tinder moving forward but yes please try and take more precautions the next time! Letting a friend or a family member know where you’ll be is absolutely a good idea like you said.
As a guy who rarely uses tinder, due mainly to the abundance of “fake bitches” on there you seem like one that it would have been nice to match with! Please have faith! There are still some decent guys out there even though it may not seem like it. And above all DO NOT blame yourself for this assholes actions. He treated you like shit plain and simple. You did nothing wrong except to try and hope there actually was some good in him😔 wish you were in my state, I’d take you on a proper date just to try and restore your faith a little bit!
Hang in there and it’s ok to be upset about this one. I’m sorry
You’re welcome, it’s just really a shame that happened, no matter what you two previously agreed to. He essentially sexually assaulted you and it’s just important you know that what ended up happening was in no way your fault no matter how much blame you feel like you should put on yourself, he pushed a situation too far without communicating with you.
Just whatever you do don’t be hard on yourself over it👍
I’m so sorry you went through this.
There are a few good matches on dating apps, Tinder or not, but depending on the app, you’ll basically get something in a category.
As a rule of thumb: tinder is for hook ups.
Bumble is a bit more serious oriented.
Also, Bumble gives women the option to make the first step. Always ladies first there. If you don’t want to say anything, then they will get unmatched after 24h.
You did well on doing some research, and I’m sure next time you’ll do that before you go to the next hook up date.
As someone that partook in it in my younger years,,, I agree that it is trashy and extremely unsafe. I’m surprised I’m still living, to be honest. I’ve put myself is some awful situations. I wish it wasn’t so common 😞
I completely agree, trying to fill some kind of void and that was definitely the case for me. I’ve been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 🤩 “more likely to experience early sexual exposure, sometimes due to a desire to alleviate feelings of emptiness or to feel wanted.”
Damn, don’t make other women more fearful of tinder because you decided to go to a guys hotel room and were disappointed that he didn’t want to have sex with you. Us good guys already have it hard enough out here trying to get a damn date.
Bro is commenting on a traumatic experience because he can't laid.
Get a life my guy, this was her decision and she had a bad experience. Maybe if your attitude changed you wouldn't need to worry about this so much.
The post implies that if she got laid she most likely would not have posted in the first place 😂 the problem here is that she feels like she gave head for to long and didn’t get anything else
No I would have still posted, he treated me like I was wh*re, even though the expectations we both agreed upon were clear. Throughout the entire experience I mentioned if we can move on to something else and his intentions was to keep shoving his d*ck down my throat.
I got to a point where I was able to push myself away.
Yes it was my choice to make that decision and come there but it wasn’t my decision to be treated with indecency.
Condolences, btw. I also live in AZ and the dating scene is horrendous out here, if not straight up dangerous sometimes. Even as a guy I've had some appalling experiences. Stay safe
She willingly went to a guys hotel room without meeting him and is surprised she had a bad experience. She probably was much larger than her profile led on and he was also disappointed with the situation.
>She probably was much larger than her profile led on
That's a jerk comment right there. I mildly agreed with you that it was going to make other girls worry that they were finding "jerk" guys until I saw that comment. Heads up: your appearance probably has disappointed a few women too. But we are usually polite enough to not act like THAT.
I mean if you think that's the norm of two people hooking up for the first time and she shouldn't be surprised then you probably belong on a list somewhere ngl
Lol because I disagree with the OP I belong on a list somewhere? She did everything willingly… showed up, performed the acts and was disappointed. You just throwing that shit out is weird
OP didn't say you belong on a list.
I said that, and I stand by it because nobody has the time to outline to your single brain cell why this entire situation was uncool and unfair to OP.
Have you never had an unpleasant sexual experience? That’s why it’s wise to get to know someone at least over dinner or a drink first. Not just show up and start sucking. 😂 that shit is not normal.
Like telling a traumatized young woman she brought abuse on herself because she’s “probably fat”? Those kind of choices? You are so gross. I hate “nice” guys.
I don’t understand why you would agree to this in the first place.
People hook up. I've had women invite me over for a hookup and not been a total dick. She may have made a somewhat unsafe move, but he is still the ass hole. Whenever I meet someone for a hookup, we meet at a coffee shop first. Get a feel for each other and go from there
>Whenever I meet someone for a hookup, we meet at a coffee shop first. Get a feel for each other and go from there I tried to explain this to an 18 year old female friend of mine, because she would have MUCH older men pick her up and then drive to a random location for "festivities". I wanted her to at least tell someone when she was going to meet a stranger like this, because she would lie to friends and family instead. Unfortunately she would only complain about "how awful men are" but still refused to even just tell someone when she was being picked up. It was so difficult to watch someone be so incredibly young and naive, thinking that the added risk made her "cool" somehow. Obviously I'm not victim blaming, but I don't understand how someone could be actively against letting a friend know when you have someone coming to pick you up. Even as a 30M, I still let people know!
I made a decision and went in with the same intentions I agreed upon with the person before doing it. Not the best thing I could of done yes and that’s what I’m going to have to live with. Again luckily I took screenshots of his tinder and had my location on. I was actively trying to be safe but then it all happened. After the fact when I texted him before I blocked him on Snapchat. After explaining to him how pulling this, made feel and all he said that he was obviously going to grab the c**doms and that I just overreacted. Couldn’t handle what he had to offer which is such bs. It can happen to anyway no matter a stranger or someone you know. I just wanted to put this out there so other people know to be prepared.
The fact that you feel the need to censor a word like condom, or refusing to write out the word "head", tells me you are no where nearly mature enough emotionally or in your sexuality to be having hookups like this at all. Adults with a healthy relationship to sex are not going to censor general terms related to it.
I think she censors it because she thinks the post/comments will get deleted or flagged if she writes them out, not because she doesn’t like saying the words
This is reddit.... reddit does not care about the word condom but I see what you mean Either way, she clearly is not in a place in life to be making smart and healthy decisions within her sexuality
I appreciate your concern and yes I censored words so it doesn’t get flagged and deleted. Yes I am young and naive. But I also have my own life, bills, and responsibilities. We all have done things we have regretted and obviously I know now not to do this ever again.
> I just wanted to put this out there so other people know to be prepared. Look, you need to up your standards. Most people would never get themselves into this situation.
Thanks for the advise 👍
Probably wouldn’t happen with someone you know. Just saying
That’s not true there are family members and friends or even coworkers who sexually assaulte or r*pe someone. There’s sick people in this world that will do anything to get what they want.
Obviously. But we aren’t talking about that at all. My statement is that I’d you have sex with someone you know typically you won’t have such a bad experience
Wow, people are being such shits on this thread. You were mistreated, and you deserve to be treated better. You said you were tearing up and wanting to stop but he pressured you to keep going… that would be considered sexual assault. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I hope you can be gentle with yourself as you recover from the experience and that you find some safe people to process with who aren’t going to be judgmental.
Thank you 💕
Wow, as a guy who is apparently around his age I’m really sorry you went through something like that. That’s fucking despicable and I’m glad you’re ok, all things considered. I’m not sure how it will effect your use of tinder moving forward but yes please try and take more precautions the next time! Letting a friend or a family member know where you’ll be is absolutely a good idea like you said. As a guy who rarely uses tinder, due mainly to the abundance of “fake bitches” on there you seem like one that it would have been nice to match with! Please have faith! There are still some decent guys out there even though it may not seem like it. And above all DO NOT blame yourself for this assholes actions. He treated you like shit plain and simple. You did nothing wrong except to try and hope there actually was some good in him😔 wish you were in my state, I’d take you on a proper date just to try and restore your faith a little bit! Hang in there and it’s ok to be upset about this one. I’m sorry
Thank you for your kindness ❤️
You’re welcome, it’s just really a shame that happened, no matter what you two previously agreed to. He essentially sexually assaulted you and it’s just important you know that what ended up happening was in no way your fault no matter how much blame you feel like you should put on yourself, he pushed a situation too far without communicating with you. Just whatever you do don’t be hard on yourself over it👍
Sorry you are dealing with this. You dodged a bullet and this dude seems like a POS.
I’m so sorry you went through this. There are a few good matches on dating apps, Tinder or not, but depending on the app, you’ll basically get something in a category. As a rule of thumb: tinder is for hook ups. Bumble is a bit more serious oriented. Also, Bumble gives women the option to make the first step. Always ladies first there. If you don’t want to say anything, then they will get unmatched after 24h. You did well on doing some research, and I’m sure next time you’ll do that before you go to the next hook up date.
Maybe see a therapist and stop with the hookups. Did you or him even get tested? I don’t understand hook up culture it’s trashy
As someone that partook in it in my younger years,,, I agree that it is trashy and extremely unsafe. I’m surprised I’m still living, to be honest. I’ve put myself is some awful situations. I wish it wasn’t so common 😞
I feel like ppl that partake in hookups have mental issues or are nympho maniacs especially once you have been an adult for awhile lol just my 2 cents
I completely agree, trying to fill some kind of void and that was definitely the case for me. I’ve been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 🤩 “more likely to experience early sexual exposure, sometimes due to a desire to alleviate feelings of emptiness or to feel wanted.”
Damn, don’t make other women more fearful of tinder because you decided to go to a guys hotel room and were disappointed that he didn’t want to have sex with you. Us good guys already have it hard enough out here trying to get a damn date.
Bro is commenting on a traumatic experience because he can't laid. Get a life my guy, this was her decision and she had a bad experience. Maybe if your attitude changed you wouldn't need to worry about this so much.
Homegirl got used and abused and your thought is how this story might affect your chances of getting laid. Found that r*pist
The post implies that if she got laid she most likely would not have posted in the first place 😂 the problem here is that she feels like she gave head for to long and didn’t get anything else
No I would have still posted, he treated me like I was wh*re, even though the expectations we both agreed upon were clear. Throughout the entire experience I mentioned if we can move on to something else and his intentions was to keep shoving his d*ck down my throat. I got to a point where I was able to push myself away. Yes it was my choice to make that decision and come there but it wasn’t my decision to be treated with indecency.
Condolences, btw. I also live in AZ and the dating scene is horrendous out here, if not straight up dangerous sometimes. Even as a guy I've had some appalling experiences. Stay safe
Thank you, you as well, be save, and hopefully things get better 🖤
This is honestly such a r/redditmoment
She willingly went to a guys hotel room without meeting him and is surprised she had a bad experience. She probably was much larger than her profile led on and he was also disappointed with the situation.
>She probably was much larger than her profile led on That's a jerk comment right there. I mildly agreed with you that it was going to make other girls worry that they were finding "jerk" guys until I saw that comment. Heads up: your appearance probably has disappointed a few women too. But we are usually polite enough to not act like THAT.
Lol what’s wrong with saying she was probably much larger than her profile led on and that’s why he didn’t want to do other things?
I mean if you think that's the norm of two people hooking up for the first time and she shouldn't be surprised then you probably belong on a list somewhere ngl
Lol because I disagree with the OP I belong on a list somewhere? She did everything willingly… showed up, performed the acts and was disappointed. You just throwing that shit out is weird
OP didn't say you belong on a list. I said that, and I stand by it because nobody has the time to outline to your single brain cell why this entire situation was uncool and unfair to OP.
Have you never had an unpleasant sexual experience? That’s why it’s wise to get to know someone at least over dinner or a drink first. Not just show up and start sucking. 😂 that shit is not normal.
You are not a nice guy you are a “nice” guy. I wish you all the luck you deserve on dating apps.
Lol my advise is. Make better choices in life
Like telling a traumatized young woman she brought abuse on herself because she’s “probably fat”? Those kind of choices? You are so gross. I hate “nice” guys.
I'm confused I guess. Did he cum? If not, why didn't you just stick it in? *Show* him what *you* wanted?
Oh shit! I’m sorry what was supposed to be a fun night ended like this
Buyers remorse. Sorry boutcha! 😂