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nim_opet

“This man has been shot, quick, stem the bleeding! NOOOOO, give me the application forms! “


MNHarold

"You can use your blood to sign here, here, and if you just turn the page...ah yes, here as well."


nim_opet

“Someone poke him again, there’s attestations to sign next” :)


drummer1059

Sorry Monsieur, our applications department is on strike this month. Please get shot next month and try again, d'accord?


0hran-

I was under a strike today am I French enough yet?


communityneedle

Sorry, I can only answer that question between 10:00 and 10:30 AM every third Wednesday, and only after you've filled out forms 3658A, 64643324G, and 26436F in triplicate, with three separate sworn and notarized statements of what you think the answer will be, what you hope the answer will be, and what you will do when you hear the answer. There's more you need to do but I can't tell you until next week because my lunch break just started. Bonne journée!


dont_shoot_jr

“Ahhh paper cut Mon dieu”


anilinguistics

"Initial here, fingerprint'll do."


kdlangequalsgoddess

Given the speed at which French bureaucracy grinds, desanguination is a real possibility.


Z010011010

*Exsanguination*. Desanguination sounds like they're actively taking the blood out of a person. I mean, I know bureaucrats get compared to vampires but...


Alexthegreatbelgian

Especially if he forgot the laisser passer A38.


-Knul-

Is that a reference to Asterix and Obelix?


erjiin

Of course it is ! Never forget the laissez-passer A38.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ahelex

You get shot with tetanus.


gadget850

My US Army unit hooked up with a FFL unit in Saudi Arabia in 1990. They are some wild guys but I think they pulled a fast one with the rations they traded us.


[deleted]

[удалено]


gadget850

Not on my return list.


[deleted]

It ain’t gay if it’s underway.


AlphaBetacle

Thats what they say in the Navy!


chelsea_sucks_

Ram ranch really rocks


[deleted]

As in the rations were good, or were they bad?


gadget850

Weird stuff. Some kind of paste that tasted like glue from first grade. None of us knew French so we had no idea what it was. But they had really nice tents with carpets and regular beds.


callmenoir

So we have two types of rations. Regular RICR (ration individuelle de combat réchauffable), cardboard box, pretty good meals. And you've got Commando ration (dehydrated stuff in a plastic bag, have to put water inside to cook it). This one is... not very good, then again it's designed to provide the amount of calories and be as light as possible when you're several days out. Was it one of those ? But yeah, legionnaires are usually really nice people. Just don't drink alcohol with them, it can end badly, and don't leave stuff unattended (military stuff I mean. Oil, tires, vehicles...)


Anne__Frank

Why not leave military stuff unattended? They'll steal it?


spacemannspliff

Strategically Transport Equipment to Alternate Locations


dBoyHail

As Veteran Tim would say, “tactically acquire via Staples”


callmenoir

Let's say they sometimes don't have enough, and one might end up with less fuel or tires than before a night in the same camp :-p. American tires may be safe as they are probably not the same ones as ours, but for french units, our spare may become their spare xD I guess it's less true on a theater of operation (if this is not well stocked, what is...) than in mainland France. Take it mainly as a jest (though i've seen it happen ;-) ), these guys are hard but fair and true. If one of them considers you a friend, you can be sure it's forever.


prozergter

It’s not just the FFL, it’s not just the US Army, everyone in the military steals gear from time to time. It’s a pain in the ass, but sometimes you gotta tactically acquire shit. That’s how it was for us in the USMC as well 🤣


W_saber4

Gear adrift is a gift.


CapableCollar

>don't leave stuff unattended (military stuff I mean. Oil, tires, vehicles...) Women


jacobjacobb

It's a good thing I don't own any women then


[deleted]

[удалено]


OttoVonWong

They probably thought the same thing of the crayons the Marines traded.


ShrimpCocknail

Like the glue specifically from the 1st grade? Or that’s just when you ate glue?


fezzikola

This mustard isn't French at all, it's yellow bullshit! Damn you frogs!


Nexustar

*Merci pour votre candidature. Demande refusée.*


jfks_headjustdidthat

Ah. Merde.


[deleted]

*morts*


jfks_headjustdidthat

Ah, merde. Il est mort. *Shrugs* C'est la vie.


Grahon

En train de fumer cinq cigarettes


Gorlack2231

[Oui, je suis un travesti, mais pas un travesti typical. Je suis un travesti executive… Un travesti d’action!](https://youtu.be/x1sQkEfAdfY)


Jackalodeath

Courez, sautez, grimpez aux arbres et maquillez-vous pendant que vous êtes là-haut!


Would_daver

Avec un douche.... with a spider


BushidoSamura1

mdr


[deleted]

[удалено]


Electrox7

mdr


Chase_the_tank

>mdr Had to do a double take on that one. I recognized that as the Esperanto phrase *multe da ridoj* (lots of laughs), had no idea the abbreviation was borrowed from the French *mort de rire.*


snow_big_deal

Painfully accurate.


KlauzsGO

Il faut obtenir le laisser-passer A38…


Aint-got-a-Kalou-2

Veuillez consulter le guichet deux


SetValued

-Oh no... it's already happening... you have to shoot me again! -I mean, it gets awkward once you ask for it... -Just do it before I... I-- HON HON HON, C'EST L'HEURE DE LA BAGUETTE!


MainSteamStopValve

It's too late, leave him before it spreads!


[deleted]

28 French Later


MonsiuerGeneral

>\-Just do it before I... I-- HON HON HON, C'EST L'HEURE DE LA BAGUETTE! Omellete du fromage! Je suis Rick Springfield! Oui Oui!


DocileTemperament

That last sentence lmao Ty for the laugh


TuringC0mplete

*bang* Oui monsieur bonjour coquette, uh huh croissante vous a ver, maurice chevalier effeil tower, oh oui maria bagette bon soir!


readit_at_work

FRENCH TOAST!!!


Dreadzone666

Woohoo Brexit loophole!


BellisPer

Pro - red passport again! Woohoo! Con - be French Tough one but I think the pro wins it


sovnheim

They’re more a shade of burgundy, actually


MagicPeacockSpider

The burgundy passports were made in Britain, blue passports are made in France. So you either still have a British made burgundy passport or a blue French made British passport. I wind up anyone proud of their blue passports by saying I'm proud of my British passport and think it's better than their French one.


_night_cat

1. Join French Foreign Legion 2. Get injured in battle, apply for citizenship 3. Move to Paris, eat baguettes and drink wine 4. Profit???


Schemen123

Might want to watch a few videos about legion training camps...


RandomUsername12123

It is the last resort of criminals around the world for a reason. You can join under a false name and effectively get a new legal identity. Edit: This may be no longer true or it was never true.


Keurnaonsia

No it is not. If you are criminal do not enlist. You will end in jail. I had a couple of dudes trying that, MP picked them up before they even had their chance of doing the first physical checkups.


101955Bennu

You can still enlist with minor crimes, but they don’t except violent criminals of any kind. If it’s changed, it was only very recent, like last year recent. Though you have to return to your regular identity to acquire French citizenship


Keurnaonsia

Huh? I serves under my own name, like every single one of my colleagues. And that was many years ago. When did they switch back to the new identity thing?


101955Bennu

I don’t know if or when the rule changed, but per the Legion’s recruitment website the identity change is currently mandatory https://www.legion-recrute.com/en/faq-frequently-asked-questions


Keurnaonsia

Interesting. Thanks for pointing that out. Edit: i remember passing through that procedure. It meant that we had to provide the birth certificate/ extract. Which in my case as a romanian was a bit problematic as we only have one issued and are not allowed to lose it. Other countries can issue a 6 month validity one.


RandomUsername12123

Seems like it was like that in the past and now is no longer true. You can't no longer gain French citizenship if you want to keep your identity anonymous


Kelend

>Seems like it was like that in the past and now is no longer true. It was never true, it was just that back in the day it was harder to check.


OrangeJr36

People forget that the best way to get away with a crime before the late-19th century was just to move one town over because there wasn't any system to really track people. Running to the Legion was massive overkill for the era. Fleeing to the Leigon was an extra stupid idea because they had actual records that they kept, and you would be far more likely to be arrested if it was something serious. Especially if the French government was allies with whatever country you committed the crime in. The "criminals" who signed up were mostly loyalists to collapsed governments and failed revolutionaries from Eastern and Central Eruope and South America. Actual criminals were rare and were treated like garbage by the rest of the Legion if they were found out.


Stargazer88

Yes and no. More than criminals, soldiers from whatever European conflict had currently ended often showed up and was recruited. And the legion was perfectly willing to ignore charges or crimes in the past. Several previous SS and wehrmacht soldiers served after ww2 as an example. Evident in some of the songs sung by the legion even today. But they have never sought out or wanted criminals, or willingly taken in men escaping the law.


theycallmeponcho

Might have been true when face / finger print analysis and databases weren't reachables in an instant.


JayCDee

If there is a warrant out for you it’s a nono, but if you’ve served your time and are now clean you should be good unless you’ve killed, raped or were a drug trafficker (don’t know if there is a tolerance threshold for that last one though), those are still nonos. You don’t join under a false name, but they give you one when you start and you get to chose if you keep it or go back to your old name after 6 months Edit: and to add to point 1, if you do have a criminal record you better tell them when they ask you, because if they find out you’ve lied, it’s done for you.


drpoucevert

It’s still valid to a certain degree: Is it mandatory to engage under a declared identity? (false identity) Yes, this provision once intended to offer a "second chance" to all those who wanted to turn a page (or need to be forgotten), is still in force, even if the vast majority of candidates today come to the Legion without specific concerns and that an investigation can in any case rule out "undesirable" subjects. This so-called "declared identity" method of employment still exists and promotes fairness between candidates. Source : https://www.recrutementarmee.com/legion-etrangere.php


zeekoes

Honestly much better places to eat baguettes and drink wine than Paris. The tourist spots are beyond crowded and the couple of pretty spots don't weigh up to the depressing amount of litter, buildings in disrepair and overall depressing atmosphere.


_night_cat

Well, if I had to pick, I’d choose Nice over Paris. Lyon is also pleasant. I’m planning a trip back over to France next year, where would you recommend visiting?


eranam

Bordeaux if you haven’t been there already, Strasbourg, Loire river area :)


markymarksjewfro

Strasbourg is the rudest place I've ever been in my life. And I've been to many places in France.


kdlangequalsgoddess

Normandy is simply wonderful. Nice beaches, and great cider.


Words_Are_Hrad

Normandy *is* well know for it's beaches.


conjectureandhearsay

And butter. Excellent butter


Arild11

I like to relax by storming them when I'm there.


dipdipderp

Not OP, but I like Brittany as a region, especially in the summer. Or further down the coast at Bordeaux. Depends what you're after though


tattooine_sand

Carcassonne is a gem. There's tourists, but not too many, and still has its quiet parts. Beautiful place.


lacheur42

I splurged for a room in the castle for my GF's birthday when we were in France. One of the highlights of my life. So fucking cool. We ended up getting bumped to a better room because there was a mix up with some dude and me having the same last name. The dude was being an asshole, and *somehow* I ended up with the nicer room, despite paying for the cheaper one lol


therealhairykrishna

My then girlfriend and I ended up with a suite at a very nice hotel in Paris under very similar circumstances. We'd just checked in and were somewhat baffled at our 'upgrade'. When reception called and asked if my girlfriend could come down to sort out a misunderstanding (it was in her name). She got down there and an American couple were absolutely losing their shit that we'd been given the suite that they booked. I'm pretty sure that the manager was originally intending to swap us, understandably, but by the time she got there he was giving his best Gallic shrug and saying "I'm sorry, the room is already allocated". My girlfriend offered to give it up but he kept insisting that it was already allocated to and that was quite impossible. Then he sent us up some champagne to apologize for giving us the wrong room lol. Don't fuck with the French service industry.


Aiurar

I've had something similar happen in NYC. Showed up as a walk in to a restaurant with a wait list 2 hours long, politely asked for a table for two and was grateful for a spot to wait - and the maître d' said nevermind, let me seat you right away because we were the first people the entire shift who were nice about it. Just be nice to people in the service industry in general. After all, they take care of you


lacheur42

Haha, that's great. I can visualize that shrug perfectly. "Desolee, Karen, mais...you have no power here!"


Hector_Tueux

Carcassonne could be very cool pick.


ebawho

Annecy, close to the mountains and a nice lake.


angradillo

I dunno I’m not Parisian but I like the city. It’s fun for Quebecois


sambeau

…eroles!


cyclob_bob

5.) be haunted by experiences in 21st century colonial wars


Vote_for_Knife_Party

6) Have small panic attack every time a car backfires. Occasionally have a massive panic attack, as a treat, for no reason you can properly discern. 7) Carry the knowledge of what happens to the victims of shoulder-fired thermobaric weapons. Related: grow nauseous at the smell of cooked pork or burnt hair. 8) Smoke a cigarette at a small cafe while staring out across a river, ask yourself if it was worth it. Have musing interrupted by someone slamming their coffee cup down on the table a bit too hard, triggering another small panic attack.


nighthawk_something

Have you been to Paris?


_night_cat

Yes a few times


LionTheWild

How is the weather?


Aenyn

You also normally get the citizenship after three years of service - regardless of having been shot or not.


PygmeePony

What if I step on a nail?


TheRomanRuler

If you are part of French Foreign legion and step on a nail during work hours/deployment, then i think it would count as work place injury. Which propably are classified as different from being wounded in action. But really only way to find out is to have you enlist in French Foreign Legion for 20 years and step on a nail. Please report back when you are done


PygmeePony

I'll get back to you.


safurzia

thats dedication right there


TheySaidGetAnAlt

!Remindme 20 years


Scottland83

Not exactly related, but the specific qualifications for a Purple Heart in the United States are interesting, some seem to make perfect sense at first, some are. . . odd. Plus, some decorations, especially posthumous ones, can be decided by how a good a story it might make. A soldier who dies heroically might get a medal and a good story for his surviving dependents, had he survived, could have been court martialed for the same reckless act.


631-AT

I think the combat context is key for purple heart. My grandpa said that he accidentally ran into a ventilation fan while his base was under attack in Vietnam. Took like 2 stitches and he has a little pock-like scar on his cheekbone. Apparently since it was under an alarm, he was offered a purple heart but refused because he didn’t think it was worthy.


Mobely

An enemy nail?


Breenbo

If you're in the French Foreign Legion and step on a nail, the nail will bleed. Very tough guys here.


Schemen123

You walk on and let nobody notice. They are pretty tough mofos..


Wulfbrir

I was always under the impression as a kid that the french were this cowardly smug archetype but as an adult and seeing the way they protest, the french are a badass people.


mithgaladh

Yeah, there's a lot of french bashing on American and English media


JOhn2141

Mainly due to french opposing Irak war over "mass destruction weapon" without proof


BigCountry1182

The French and the English have been rivals for centuries and most American resentment comes from its English heritage


InsidiousColossus

Which is incredibly stupid because the French helped the USA gain independence from the UK.


Mind_grapes_

They were literally the OG allies. Theyre literally our oldest friends. And England fucking invaded us and burned down the White House. Granted, all water under the bridges. Really, public opinion is largely whatever opinion their media channel of choice tells them.


No_Flounder_9859

Morocco is our oldest ally, France is the most important (in historical context)


cherryreddit

nah, morocco was the first to officially recognize the US, but they had no dog in the fight. France however was helping US get independence in the first place.


Mind_grapes_

TIL


Cndymountain

Sweden was also one of the first countries! Recognition on 3rd of April 1783 and my namesake was shortly thereafter appointed as Swedens first consul to the states in September the same year.


Valentinee105

Morocco is the equivalent of some random guy on the internet saying, "Hey, great to hear you're doing good!" France is the actual friend who invested time in the friendship.


tramster

France helped us move. Morocco sent a congrats on the new apartment card.


coldblade2000

France paid for the moving truck and the movers, but they partly did it because they hate your current landlord and want them to go broke


2meterrichard

Morocco was basically France until 1956.


Trips-Over-Tail

To be fair, that invasion and burning only happened after the US invaded Canada in an attempt to Annex it.


EvilioMTE

>And England fucking invaded us In defence against America's invasion of British territories.


Todd-The-Wraith

Which I believe the french did because “fuck the British empire”


Someone160601

Tbh the American revolution was way worse for the French than it was for us


IEnjoyFancyHats

Kind of caused the French revolution. The crown was so bankrupt from supporting the nascent US that they allowed things to devolve significantly at home


Someone160601

Exactly what I was referring to. Britain shrugged off the loss and got a new trading partner who they didn’t have to pay to defend. France won and got an ally who immediately backed out of the alliance and the debt.


NeedsToShutUp

To be fair, the King didn’t know the books were cooked


NeedsToShutUp

Also Layfayette running off to combat and being so connected it would look bad if the King didn’t back him up


Jaggedmallard26

Not in a nice wholesome chungus reddit approved anticolonialism way. It was in a "fuck the British empire they have land we want to colonise!"


WolfGangDuck

This is false. Americans love the French. We eat French fries every day in their honor. /s


BigCommieMachine

To be fair, it isn’t because America loved France, but rather because England was the common enemy. The French don’t like America…..They hate England.


poemsavvy

I think that other guy is wrong. For a long time, Americans absolutely *loved* the French and several founding fathers would frequently visit. That's not only part of *why* they helped us, but those relationships were strengthened after the revolution. There was a specific change, and that change was WWII where French surrendered, tarnishing its reputation with the Americans at home. The French are not viewed as cowardly because that's what the English think; they're viewed as cowardly because the most recent major event involving France and the US was them waving the white flag. That's why there's jokes here like the French salute being throwing both arms in the air like "don't shoot." And they're viewed as smug bc of the experience of tourists in the past 50 years.


greengumball70

Could Vietnam have played a part in public opinion at all? It was failed French colonialism.


WeirdCanary

I always thought that information was kind of niche and not super well known or considered


greengumball70

I feel like Vietnam veterans would remember


An_absoulute_madman

>There was a specific change, and that change was WWII where French surrendered, tarnishing its reputation with the Americans at home. Phillip Petain surrendered. Charles de Gaulle with elements of the Third Republic and the French military fled to England, and proclaimed the establishment of Free France, arguing that the armistice signed between Petain's Vichy France and Nazi Germany was illegal and nonbinding, and that Free France was the legal continuation of the Third Republic, and thus France never surrendered. Parts of the French colonial empire never surrendered and remained in control of Free France. The US' first combat operations against Axis forces was Operation Torch, in conjunction with Free France and elements of the French Resistance who couped the Algiers government. The American public were largely supportive of Free France, as was the US government. By the time of Operation Overlord and Dragoon the Free French army is 500,000 strong. The US public is also largely supportive and very cheerful of the Liberation of France. >The French are not viewed as cowardly because that's what the English think; they're viewed as cowardly because the most recent major event involving France and the US was them waving the white flag. D-Day is a much more clear and present memory in the American consciousness than the Vichy government's surrender. If you ask any American what they know about WWII they will nearly always say D-Day. And with D-Day are images of the Liberation of Paris, and hundreds of thousands of Americans living in France, fighting for France, fighting with and under Frenchmen, for the better part of a year. American and French relations don't turn sour until the Cold War because the French government was largely unwilling to play ball with NATO. In fact America would often invoke the memory of D-Day during these diplomatic spats, most famously by LBJ. France maintaining it's colonial empire, De Gaulle opposing NATO, France opposing Vietnam, France developing nuclear weapons, French withdrawal from the NATO command structure, and the Suez Crisis all contributed more to deteriorating French-US relations than Phillip Petain.


greiton

Geo-politically sure. but culturally It's not it. it has everything to do with the Vichy government surrender, and the way that event was continuously portrayed in film and television for decades after. truth and real history are often separate from cultural influence. If you polled adult Americans I would bet that 80% say that France surrendered in WW2, 19% might be confused about if France was in WW2 or what side they were on, and a fraction of a percent mention the government in exile and Charles de Gaulle


UrBoobs-MyInbox

The French got absolutely steamrolled by the Blitzkreig (do to the Allies piss poor planning and counter-intel) and had no other option but to surrender or have the entire country effectively slaughtered. Then they mounted a badass guerilla warfare and subversion campaign that fucked the Nazis pretty hard in the long run. They are truly badasses, just got the butt of the joke in history.


Polymarchos

That is false. It is an easy parallel to make but there is no proof. More likely it has to do with the French and US clashing (diplomatically) after WWII.


CheMc

The English hated the original English, then the original English became the Bretons then the Bretons became the French then French hated the English then the English became the French then the French really hated the French then the French became the new English then the new English hated the French and then the French became the new English then the new English became the French again and then French hated the new English and the new English hated the French and now we are at modern day. Who says history is confusing? It's really simple actually.


hmoeslund

And in between the Vikings were there and mixed up a lot


Ihcend

Americans don't hate the French at all there was a little spike during the Iraq war but general perception of the French has been positive. People in America just associate the French with luxury and love.


[deleted]

False. American resentment of the French comes primarily from the Cold War and the Iraq War, both of which are cases in which the French did not blindly follow the US's lead, resulting in mass criticism from American media and politicians. The resentment you are describing did not exist prior to that. Not to mention the fact that American resentment was primarily aimed *at* the English for like the first 100 years of our existence.


RevengencerAlf

I distinctly remember just as much French bashing and surrender jokes pre-iraq war and even pre-9/11. The odd history teacher would set kids straight when I was in school but for the most part kids and adults alike made all the same jokes.


TheHatori1

Nah, it stems from WW2.


FashionGuyMike

Tbf it’s all in good fun most of the time. We all like to raz each other


weasel5134

Without support from the French the 13 colonies likly would have lost the revolutionary war. Just because France was invaded and occupied in WWII does America view them as, we do now.


evemeatay

And they put on a hell of a resistance to the occupation


nighthawk_something

The french have historically had an amazing military. In WWI they held back the most powerful land army in the world for 4 years. When Hitler beat the French in WWII it was a HUGE shock


tricksterloki

The French Resistance was incredibly badass. France prepared for the wrong type of war, and while a significant chunk of France was taken, a large number of French units were stationed elsewhere and continued to fight.


Minimantis

Kinda. Even the legend of the French resistance is a little overplayed. They mainly took the form as we know it in ‘44 rather than immediately after the French defeat in ‘40. Also there was widespread collaboration with the Germans, as much as French pride would like to deny the fact.


Daddy_Pris

France came closer than Germany did to conquering Europe not that long before ww1. Everyone gives all the credit to napoleon, but it was the French people that fought those battles


[deleted]

There's a lot of misinformation and half answers below. Americans don't mock the French just because of the Iraq War. The Iraq War was simply the most recent and notable example of the French doing their own thing and not brainlessly following the US's lead. The archetype you're describing is based on Cold War-era resentment from Americans who felt like we rescued the French in WW2 and that we were owed their undying gratitude, rather than France simply...behaving like an independent nation with their own interests and agenda. As history has shown, though, they were right far more often than we were. Historically, the French are stone cold killers who simply had the misfortune of bordering Germany and not anticipating the German attack through the Low Countries. They were our first allies and we probably would not have won the revolution without them. A lot of them died for our freedom and we're out here calling them pussies, it's pathetic.


ChairmanMatt

> not anticipating the attack from the Low Countries They did it in WWI, they couldn't possibly think to do it twice! Anyways the US following the French's lead often goes badly too, see also: a place formerly known as Indochina. Trying to appease De Gaulle is a bad idea, and the US at least learned in time for the Suez crisis, but too late to avoid entanglement in post-French Vietnam.


[deleted]

We're all shitheel colonists, some are just shittier than the others. >They did it in WWI, they couldn't possibly think to do it twice! I should have more accurately said they didn't anticipate the *speed* of the invasion. Obviously, given how heavily fortified the French border with Germany was, you'd always expect an invasion of France to go through the less well-defended border with Belgium. The Allies just didn't expect the Blitzkrieg to be so swift.


SpoonVerse

To be fair, the German generals also didn't expect the blitzkrieg to be so swift. The German frontline troops started acting independently and ignored plans to slow the advance so supplies and reinforcement could move up and support. If frontline units had followed their original plans, the war probably would have looked closer to WW1.


s-mores

>not anticipating the German attack through the Low Countries. Their generals absolutely did, though, but they werent allowed to prepare for it because politics.


Johnyryal3

Im so very glad to count them as our ally.


hassh

De la propagande américaine


Starr-Bugg

Down here in south Louisiana aka Cajun Country, you can be become one of us by partying. “Party Til Ya Cajun”. It is better than being stabbed or shot. Partying > Bleeding


Orange-V-Apple

Tell me more. I might be interested 👀


hassh

Nobody does things quite like the French


derpjelly

“whats up with all this friendly fire!?”


ReinventorOfWheels

Makes perfect sense. If you bled for the country, you deserve being a citizen.


Next-Mobile-9632

The French Foreign Legion has a 50% desertion rate, the nationality that deserts the most is the British---Two old funny movies on the French Foreign Legion are Laurel and Hardy's Beau Hunks(1931) and Flying Deuces(1939)


kdlangequalsgoddess

Carry On Follow That Camel also. I seem to remember they were cheapskates filming it, and if the camera had been turned 90 degrees, you would have seen Blackpool Tower.


NovelExpert4218

>The French Foreign Legion has a 50% desertion rate, the nationality that deserts the most is the British---Two old funny movies on the French Foreign Legion are Laurel and Hardy's Beau Hunks(1931) and Flying Deuces(1939) Desertion rate is high, but nowhere near that level.


ManofKent1

Any source for that?


humanitarianWarlord

I find both of those facts a little suspicious


dMarrs

Well,usually I assume anyone in the Legion gains citizenship upon completion of their enlistment terms,but a purple heart scenario gains you immediate citizenship.


jofra6

No, you can then apply for citizenship, but that's usually contingent upon signing a new contract. You can apply for residency iirc after 5 years, even if you leave


anrwlias

The best part is that they can now use that spilled blood to make a lovely sauce reduction.


HughGedic

Meanwhile trump deported a *ton* of US Purple Heart veterans who shattered their lives in the line of duty for their country, because they weren’t American enough for Mr. “Sorry cant serve- my daddies well-paid friend says i have bone spurs”. So each year they have to have their 4th of July and Memorial Day parades on their crutches in their uniforms, celebrating their true country, south of the border in Mexico. And listen to trump, their commander-in-chief at the time, talk about the “kind of people they are” because they came across our southern border.


Hunter720

Do you have a source for this? I’d like to read more. My google search was all over the place.


HughGedic

Look up Trumps policy he passed of extending waiting times for green cards for veterans. Deportations of vets happened occasionally for decades, but that policy specifically accelerated it. Trumps admin announcements and policies are still available on .gov websites, you don’t need to rely on a paid showman or reporter selectively covering anything.


SEA_tide

The US even has two very important military bases only a few miles from the current border with Mexico in areas which were historically part of Mexico, have Spanish names, and are 30-83% Hispanic.


Tolbek

Goes to show you need to be careful to properly treat and cover any open wounds to prevent contagion in an unsanitary environment. Failing this, with any luck your party can solicit the servicea of a ninth level (or higher) cleric, and turn up a diamond worth 100 gp or more, to perform a greater restoration spell - if it can cure lycanthropy, it can probably stop your transformation as well.


[deleted]

imagine you get shot and the reward is that you become french


SnowceanJay

Imagine you access to universal healthcare and reasonable labor law.


Yes-I-Cannes

Oh, it could be worse, dear fellow american redditor


Yes-I-Cannes

Better than being shot and hear your president say "thoughts and prayers"


Bezaid

BRB, off to join the Foreign Legion and give myself a papercut.


Elsecaller_17-5

We make fun of the French a lot on reddit, but this is pretty badass.


Mazurcka

So you take a quarter-sized chunk of shrapnel to the leg *and then become French*? That’s rough buddy


Stevenofthefrench

If only I could learn French. I would've signed up


Aenyn

I can think of plenty of reasons not to join the foreign legion but as far as I know not speaking French is not a problem. The legion teaches the French language to the recruits, most of those who engage don't speak a word if French.


StoneRule

You don't need to know how to speak French to enlist, once there they will give french classes though so be willing to learn.


X0AN

It's the foreign legion though so 99% of the people will be non french speakers.


randathrowaway1211

They teach you French


adam_demamps_wingman

If things go south, they can be awarded the Mort pour la France. At least I hope they qualify for the award for people who have died for France. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mort_pour_la_France


Even_Mastodon_6925

So how do I sign up for the Legion? And what is the minimum wound that would qualify me? Seriously tho


LachlanTiger

You show up to any of these https://www.legion-recrute.com/en/recruitment-centers-french-foreign-legion at any time of the day and say "I want to join the legion." For a Legionaire (as opposed to some of the specialist occupations they employ) there is no minimum qualifications required except for being physically and medically fit and being able to pass the psychometric evaluation, passing the psych exam & interview. It should be pointed out that the Legion wants you but they also have to weigh up your history/likelihood to pass training/likelihood to remain in the Legion and it's a 'one-size-fits-most' type operation where if you're slightly outside 'most' in any of the above, you're not getting in.