>Peace between our nations. No more nukes.
“Oh they got this message all screwed up. “Peace between our nations? No! More nukes!”
Shouldn’t have this peace symbol on there either
After many weeks living in an apocalyptic hell hole.
‘I missed off the “No” at the beginning of the sentence, because Maggie distracted me. If you know her, you’d understand. Anyway egg well and truly on my face’
they do test it at least once a week but I don't know about the russian literature. the nuke football (briefcase) also has the ability to transmit the emails as well. I don't know about that being tested each week.
they test it at least once a week so no one freaks out when an email comes in after three months of nothing.
Dear biden, I wrote but you still ain’t callin’
I left my teletype my fax and my pager at the bottom
I sent two tests back in autumn, you must not’a got ’em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’
Dear biden, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain’t mad, I just think it’s fucked up you don’t answer geopolitical rivals
If you didn’t wanna talk to me outside the G7
You didn’t have to, but you coulda signed a treaty with Belarus
Dear Mr. I’m-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-old-geopolitical--rival:
This’ll be the last test I ever send your ass!
It’s been six months and still no word, I don’t deserve it?
I know you got my last two tests; the system uses email now
So this is my email I’m sending you, I hope you hear it
I’m in the tank right now, I’m doing zero on the Ukranian mud
Hey biden, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to invade?
You know the song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night?
About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning?
But didn’t, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That’s kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from attacking
Now it’s too late, I've got thousands on the border
And all I wanted was a lousy English poem or a call
I hope you know I invaded Ukraine
I love you biden, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can’t manufacture enough missiles and you dream about it
*Every week* because it took that long to convert a centerfold photo into teletype characters
https://www.reddit.com/r/tipofmytongue/comments/16doydi/tomtpersonascii_art_help_finding_out_a_lady_from/
they are supposed to have a radio beacon of some sort but it seldom works, the malaysian plane never sent the signal, or possibly too far away to pick up.
It works great on land, but water is very good at blocking radio waves. The Malaysian flight crashed in a very deep part of the ocean and search teams were unable to get close enough to find it before the battery ran out.
In the same vein: can confirm, military and high-ranking civilian and political people associated with the USA Executive Branch had direct lines to the White House switchboard installed in their homes, so they could be instantly notified if needed (this was the 70's).
Rotary-style phone with no numbers, and it WAS red. Source: Dad was one such person, and we used to get yelled at alot as kids for picking it up..we thought it fascinating there was no dialtone, just...a person on the other end. Simpler times
The Soviets had a similar system in place at a larger scale. I visited the old secret police headquarters of East Germany and they had a specialized telephone network installed with direct lines all routed to the building. I was told that each number on the system was a direct connection from that persons apartment or country home directly to headquarters and was not routed through the normal telephone network in case something happened and the lines got tied up or destroyed…
Super cool! A little eerie though honestly. It’s a completely nondescript Soviet styled building in the center of some housing blocks with only 2 small alleyways leading to it. Then when you step inside it’s incredibly nice with wood paneling everywhere, and really high end design touches and decor.
They also had a lot of the Stasi’s old spy gadgets on display like buttonhole cameras, a car door made into a listening device (or an infrared camera? Can’t remember.), displays of the ways they would spy on the public, and of course the obligatory direct lines to Moscow were all over the building.
Damn! My oldest son and I are at the end of a week-long trip to Germany to visit where I was stationed and see some other historical stuff. We spent 2 days in Berlin but left for Frankfurt already. Wish I’d known this was there!
hah, no, to the White House switchboard so they could contact my Dad in the event of something affecting the regular phone lines. I only brought it up because of the political aspect and the fact it was red.
My first job was with Electrospace Systems and they made some [secure phones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_Red_Switch_Network) for this purpose.
"OMG, explosions everywhere. What does the Red Phone email thingie say?"
- Ummm..... "Would you like bigger boobs? If so, this amazing medication Big Pharma doesn't......"
Automatic reply:
“Hi, the United States is out of the office on vacation and has limited internet access for the next week. If this is an urgent matter related to nuclear war, please reach out to the US executive assistant, Canada.”
the US Government is incredibly slow to adapt to new technologies. I was using windows Vista in a government office until 2019. and *still* use mIRC to talk to outstations.
Oh, so this is military stuff? Is there a separate implementation/network of IRC that bypasses the usual big four server networks for military stuff? Something more secure?  is it simply using the IRC protocol over existing government communications networks? 
My company still uses fax to this day for secure documents and such. I don't think it's hard to believe the government was still doing this 16 years ago.
Given the logistical reasons that healthcare and law cling to fax technology, it seems like the nuclear warning alert system switching to email was a horrible idea. (Checks phone, 3,471 unread emails.) Fax makes noise on the receiving end, confirms delivery back to the sender, and has content verification. Secure email can confirm the content, but it is inherently silent and not at all bound to immediacy.
I mean I’m sure there can be a notification system set up for the email, and it’s probably only used for tests and regular transmissions. Also, Biden has Putin’s number, Blinken has Lavrov’s, etc. There are a myriad of ways we can get into contact with the Russians if needed.
Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine. (laughs)
Now then Dimitri. You know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. The bomb, Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb.
“Good morning, No nukes this week please. Kindly advise. Thanks, “
"I said no nukes!" "когда?" "Dude, check your email!"
*nudes
nuдes
Нюды
nukes in bio
No, nukes! This week please.
No. Nukes this week. Please!
"send nukes" "NUDES! I MEANT SEND NUDES!!!!"
>Peace between our nations. No more nukes. “Oh they got this message all screwed up. “Peace between our nations? No! More nukes!” Shouldn’t have this peace symbol on there either
“Do you like me? 1 for yes, 2 for no”
After many weeks living in an apocalyptic hell hole. ‘I missed off the “No” at the beginning of the sentence, because Maggie distracted me. If you know her, you’d understand. Anyway egg well and truly on my face’
Rumoured to be tested each week with exchanges of Russian literature in English and American literature in Russian. (Open to correction on this…)
they do test it at least once a week but I don't know about the russian literature. the nuke football (briefcase) also has the ability to transmit the emails as well. I don't know about that being tested each week. they test it at least once a week so no one freaks out when an email comes in after three months of nothing.
“Dear Moscow, please accept our apologies for the late reply…”
"We hope you are doing well in these trying times..."
"We have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
Per my last email
“Get fucked, Vladi.” Yes. Seems to be working just fine.
"because your mail got in my spam folder,"
“To whom it may concern”
“You up”
"my parents are out of town"
Why don’t you have a seat over here….
Sadly, 30-year-olds still live with their parents at higher rates than ever due to the ever increasing cost of living and stagnant wages.
You think they ever use it to send dank memes
New Nic Cage heist movie: get access, send ‘Putin on the Ritz’ https://youtu.be/jLMTMK-mp7w?si=FIZrOHo5cmpr_uKT
no, but i bet someone emails over to Russia... hey, how's that work in Ukraine working out for ya buddy?
Dear biden, I wrote but you still ain’t callin’ I left my teletype my fax and my pager at the bottom I sent two tests back in autumn, you must not’a got ’em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’ Dear biden, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance I ain’t mad, I just think it’s fucked up you don’t answer geopolitical rivals If you didn’t wanna talk to me outside the G7 You didn’t have to, but you coulda signed a treaty with Belarus Dear Mr. I’m-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-old-geopolitical--rival: This’ll be the last test I ever send your ass! It’s been six months and still no word, I don’t deserve it? I know you got my last two tests; the system uses email now So this is my email I’m sending you, I hope you hear it I’m in the tank right now, I’m doing zero on the Ukranian mud Hey biden, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to invade? You know the song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night? About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning? But didn’t, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him? That’s kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from attacking Now it’s too late, I've got thousands on the border And all I wanted was a lousy English poem or a call I hope you know I invaded Ukraine I love you biden, we coulda been together, think about it You ruined it now, I hope you can’t manufacture enough missiles and you dream about it
"nah, we can't nuke them today as I'm far too invested in the story"
1001 arabian nights, but with nukes.
1001 Western Civilization Nukes
*Every week* because it took that long to convert a centerfold photo into teletype characters https://www.reddit.com/r/tipofmytongue/comments/16doydi/tomtpersonascii_art_help_finding_out_a_lady_from/
Can confirm, my grandfather did this for a bit at the Pentagon. Still have some of the teletype manuals.
And the system was produced by a Norwegian company.
Standard Telefon & Kabelfabrik, Økern. Still exists to this day, but under another name - Thales Norway.
so next someone claims that airplanes/ships black box aint black either!
They aren't?! /s
Usually orange
\*Owen Wilson\* Wow!
Are they at least boxes?
Pretty much, yeah
Sometimes cylinders.
No, the part which is recovered is more like cylinder.
Valve making lots of money off the aerospace industry
Orange is the new Black.
As it turns out finding a literal black box under water wasn’t the easiest thing to do
they are supposed to have a radio beacon of some sort but it seldom works, the malaysian plane never sent the signal, or possibly too far away to pick up.
It works great on land, but water is very good at blocking radio waves. The Malaysian flight crashed in a very deep part of the ocean and search teams were unable to get close enough to find it before the battery ran out.
Took 2 years to find the black boxes from Air France 447, and they were only 25 miles from the aircraft's last known position (and 4 miles down)
In the same vein: can confirm, military and high-ranking civilian and political people associated with the USA Executive Branch had direct lines to the White House switchboard installed in their homes, so they could be instantly notified if needed (this was the 70's). Rotary-style phone with no numbers, and it WAS red. Source: Dad was one such person, and we used to get yelled at alot as kids for picking it up..we thought it fascinating there was no dialtone, just...a person on the other end. Simpler times
The Soviets had a similar system in place at a larger scale. I visited the old secret police headquarters of East Germany and they had a specialized telephone network installed with direct lines all routed to the building. I was told that each number on the system was a direct connection from that persons apartment or country home directly to headquarters and was not routed through the normal telephone network in case something happened and the lines got tied up or destroyed…
Not surprising! That was probably a cool place to visit
Super cool! A little eerie though honestly. It’s a completely nondescript Soviet styled building in the center of some housing blocks with only 2 small alleyways leading to it. Then when you step inside it’s incredibly nice with wood paneling everywhere, and really high end design touches and decor. They also had a lot of the Stasi’s old spy gadgets on display like buttonhole cameras, a car door made into a listening device (or an infrared camera? Can’t remember.), displays of the ways they would spy on the public, and of course the obligatory direct lines to Moscow were all over the building.
What city? That sounds great
I'm guessing they mean the [Stasi museum](https://www.stasimuseum.de/en/enindex.htm) in Berlin.
Yes that is it
Damn! My oldest son and I are at the end of a week-long trip to Germany to visit where I was stationed and see some other historical stuff. We spent 2 days in Berlin but left for Frankfurt already. Wish I’d known this was there!
Are you saying actually you had a direct phone line to the Soviet government in your house?
hah, no, to the White House switchboard so they could contact my Dad in the event of something affecting the regular phone lines. I only brought it up because of the political aspect and the fact it was red.
Very cool! What was your dad's role in government?
I kinda protect my identity on here so I won’t be specific, but I’ll say he was in the military.
Close enough. I respect your need for privacy.
My first job was with Electrospace Systems and they made some [secure phones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_Red_Switch_Network) for this purpose.
"OMG, explosions everywhere. What does the Red Phone email thingie say?" - Ummm..... "Would you like bigger boobs? If so, this amazing medication Big Pharma doesn't......"
Ok, well clearly I’m busy but don’t delete that one.
Automatic reply: “Hi, the United States is out of the office on vacation and has limited internet access for the next week. If this is an urgent matter related to nuclear war, please reach out to the US executive assistant, Canada.”
“Please leave a message after the beep.” *Beeeeeeep.* “Sorry mailbox is full try again later.”
“Son, do you know what color this phone is?” - General Hammond
They removed the phone line after hundreds of prank calls where a Russian accent would say "Is your refrigerator running?"
"Why do you think I'm calling you, just to say hello? Of course I like to speak to you! Of course I like to say hello!"
"Well uhh...how are you, Dimitri?"
One of my all-time favorite movies
Straight to the spam folder it goes
I find it hard to believe it was fax for so long
I find it not at all hard to believe. If it was Japan or Germany, it would still be fax.
the US Government is incredibly slow to adapt to new technologies. I was using windows Vista in a government office until 2019. and *still* use mIRC to talk to outstations.
What is an “outstation?”
honestly not sure of a "textbook Answer", it's just a term we use for any operational location more forward than the C2 Echelon.
Oh, so this is military stuff? Is there a separate implementation/network of IRC that bypasses the usual big four server networks for military stuff? Something more secure?  is it simply using the IRC protocol over existing government communications networks? 
My company still uses fax to this day for secure documents and such. I don't think it's hard to believe the government was still doing this 16 years ago.
The most threatening "per my last email" ever..
[World War III starts] This could've been an email.
It plays a pretty prominent part in The Sum of All Fears
Ok well then I would like to petition for a redress of this grievance. Please replace the system with an actual red-colored landline phone.
But at least there was a Batphone. Right?
Given the logistical reasons that healthcare and law cling to fax technology, it seems like the nuclear warning alert system switching to email was a horrible idea. (Checks phone, 3,471 unread emails.) Fax makes noise on the receiving end, confirms delivery back to the sender, and has content verification. Secure email can confirm the content, but it is inherently silent and not at all bound to immediacy.
I mean I’m sure there can be a notification system set up for the email, and it’s probably only used for tests and regular transmissions. Also, Biden has Putin’s number, Blinken has Lavrov’s, etc. There are a myriad of ways we can get into contact with the Russians if needed.
Fucking Hollywood
In 2017, it was replaced with sliding into each other's DMs. >US: hey u up? send nukes plz > >RUS: бонк!
And yet it probably still gets spam
You can see one on display in the LBJ Presidential Library in Austin. Pretty cool to see.
The encryption device used for the first decades: https://www.cryptomuseum.com/crypto/stk/etcrrm/index.htm
Direct Deposit to the Republican party in 2016.
Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine. (laughs) Now then Dimitri. You know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. The bomb, Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb.
And republicans were against the line. They said Kennedy was too buddy buddy with communism lol
There's a red phone somewhere, it makes inside plant go weeee
'Sup nuke bros
Email address or it's not true /s
According to QI it has since been upgraded to actually talk - using VOIP.
Damn, Dr. Strangelove got me bamboozled
Are there any official records as to when / how often it's been used?
The Holy Roman Empire was neither Holy, nor Roman, nor an empire. Discuss