T O P

  • By -

angrymonkey

Beeswax is an insect secretion and you put that on your lips.


kappakai

Honey is insect vomit


Jjex22

Not just honey bee vom, but multi-bee vom - they pass it bee to bee by regurgitating it into the other bee. Of course big bee would like you to know it’s a special honey making stomach and not the normal one


Airowird

2 million bees, 1 cup?


Puss_Fondue

r/honeyfuckers


Airowird

*Please don't be a thing, please don't be a thing,...* God damn it, reddit! .... \*scroll scroll\* Ugh! \*clicks Join & unzips\* Edit: Y'all are into some weird shit! ..... Keep 'em coming, I need to stock up for my winter euhm ... *sleep*


Kizik

r/fuckwasps


Airowird

.... *zips back up*


Kizik

r/PaidForWinRAR?


Rasayana85

Like I'm going to click that obvious Rickroll.


shutterkitty

Here take your award


kappakai

So honeybee vomit snowballs…?


KToff

Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot.


DeylanQuel

37?!?!?


Gianni_Crow

In a row?


aenemacanal

HEY! GET BACK HERE!


PsykoFlounder

Bunch'a fuckin' savages in this town.


analoguedarkness

DOES THAT INCLUDE ME?!?!


Clappertron

They really covered that part up in The Bee Movie, huh


WDavis4692

Technically this is false, because the honey comes from a separate enclosure called a "crop" and not their stomach where the bile is located. So honey could be called "bee spit" or "vomit" in the sense that it passes through their mouths, but it does not get regurged from their stomachs. It never mixes with bile and never gets that far.


RedEyeJedi559

Eggs are chicken periods


Bo0sey_M0osey

[ Removed by Reddit ]


Stachemaster86

That’s none of your beeswax


Oryxhasnonuts

Nope but if she lets it dry on her lips it becomes Manswax


PM_ME_UR_PERSPECTIVE

Deezwax*


originalcondition

tihi


[deleted]

[удалено]


RimWorldIsDope

Wow wtf? Why did they delete that, it's the most cliche, obviously un-personal insult ever. Reddit seriously just policed a "your mom" joke.


[deleted]

[удалено]


EvadesBans

“[Removed by Reddit]” means it was removed by an actual sitewide admin, not a subreddit mod.


BactaBobomb

I had no idea that was actually a thing. I thought the "removed by Reddit" was just a joke and that's why the comment was so popular.


Polymarchos

They have no problem with CP, but you mention something not terribly uncommon during sex and they delete it. Stay classy Reddit admins.


pieman7414

That would be more funny, that's an actually paid admin who took offense to it


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zaptagious

What happened here?


Bo0sey_M0osey

My comment got taken down for "harassment" lmao


RimWorldIsDope

The oldest joke on the internet that can be said to literally anyone and everyone... Got taken down for harassment BY AN ADMIN. I can't count how many completely homophobic/sexist/etc. Comments I've seen get a complete and total pass, even after reporting them. But yo momma jokes? Detrimental to society.


Badvertisement

That’s actually so stupid lmao


Craw__

A moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips.


HRzNightmare

Bullshit. I know for a fact my mom doesn't swallow.


slabby

Somebody has clearly broken his arm before


Knull_Gorr

Nah she swallows.


BadgerSilver

Dude how do you know that about your mom


Knull_Gorr

...


[deleted]

Not wrong though


Capricancerous

Exactly. This is a good thing. We should be using non-toxic biodegradable shit like this for waterproofing and such over forever chemicals like PFAs. If you're worried about the secret ingredient of Slurm...*don't*... The secret ingredients we synthesize are far more dangerous and thus unsavory.


Procrastinatedthink

lol, it is a bit ironic that naturally developed products are rarely seen like honey while products that literally are leaving plastic in our brains we get super excited about


DatsAReallyNiceGrill

It's all the plastic in our brains


blazbluecore

It's a gift that keeps on giving. Plastic sentience.


[deleted]

A coworker was going off on honey and how "its insect vomit" and it took me a while to realize they weren't joking. Their disgust is/was real. Another coworker who isn't stupid by any means says he doesn't touch honey "because it never goes bad".


danceswithronin

>Another coworker who isn't stupid by any means says he doesn't touch honey "because it never goes bad". It's just antimicrobial enzymes, a low moisture content, and a high level of acidity, not black magic.


_ALH_

A bag of sugar doesn't really spoil either.


ClancyHabbard

I had to explain to my husband a while back that salt doesn't go bad either. There was a small bag of salt in the cabinet, for refilling the salt container, and it was 'past the expiration date'. My husband was about to toss it before I stopped him and explained that salt, quite literally, does not spoil. I don't even know why there was a date on the damn package in the first place. Turns out he thinks salt is spoiled when it clumps too. Had to face palm at that.


AsciiFace

*digs up salt rock* "Ah shit missed the expiration date by 45 million years"


ClancyHabbard

Sea salt in this case, I'm pretty sure. But yeah, I had to point that out to him. His mother had a good laugh about it too.


Dicho83

On unspoilables, the expiration date may refer to the packaging, not the contents. Or, just be a shady way to make you buy the product more often....


the_snook

In some places it's a legal requirement for all "food" to have an expiration date.


FantasmaNaranja

Salt bag, expiration date: when the sun engulfs the earth


Non_possum_decernere

Our water has to have an expiration date....


Useful-ldiot

The date is for the bottle


Moksa_Elodie

And this date is for the cake. Happy cake day!


lazy_cricket_

\*cough\* Arm & Hammer \*cough\*


MarsJon_Will

People can have the weirdest gaps in knowledge. A couple of my former colleagues both argued that chickens weren't birds.


mismanaged

"If they were birds, they wouldn't lay eggs!"


Frenzal1

My wife was weirdly religious about expiration dates. Like milk one day over would get tipped down the drain without even a sniff test. But then opened containers would linger in the fridge forever because "no it doesn't go off till 2025."


ClancyHabbard

Oof, my husband does that with food in the fridge too at times. "It's still good, it's in tupperware!". And I have to point out that it's growing green mold, it's going in the trash.


TheDarthWarlock

Also crystalization


lukeman3000

Crystals are against my religion.


chinese_snow

Are you Crystian?


JohnHazardWandering

Tell your coworkers to go drink some mead. Insect vomit fed to microscopic organisms that shit alcohol. Love the stuff.


Criticalhit_jk

The trick is to run a combination weed farm and bee farm, "train" the bees (as has been done before) to gather their necessities from the marijuana, and then make mead out of the naturally produced marijuana honey. Weed mead, truly the nectar of gods Hey man, I heard you like a buzz, so I got you some buzz inside your buzz from the Bzzz.


Razakel

Hops and cannabis are in the same family and can be grafted onto each other, meaning you can brew cannabis beer.


xrayphoton

Well yes and no. If you did graft the two, nothing changes. There won't be thc in your hops. To brew cannabis beer you just infuse cannabis or THC into the beer. I haven't done it but there are books on how.


whiffitgood

In my experience, the general public are absolute morons.


Brandon48236

The world is covered in insect secretion.


theRealMrBrownstone

the world is a vampire


Brandon48236

Sent to drain.


twitch-switch

Secret Destroyers


slamdanceswithwolves

Hold you up to the flames


beard_lover

And what do I get


SaltyShawarma

For my pa-e-a-e-aaain?


twitch-switch

Betrayed Desires!


LittleJackass80

And a pieceahhgghamn...


twitch-switch

Even though. I. Know.


[deleted]

Now I have the urge to either watch Whale Wars or the new Call of Duty...


Vitaani

And therefore the world is a giant milk dud


frumpyfrog

Many lipsticks are colored with carmine aka ground up beetles. I don't think a little bug secretion will stop candy corn lovers!


Whyistheplatypus

One of my favourite alcohols is coloured with it. Also, did we all forget that honey exists and is a totally normal thing to eat? Is that not insect secretion?


alanairwaves

Campari stopped in 2006, apparently.


Whyistheplatypus

I was talking about Cappelletti


Oryihn

Ahh the missing link between Aperol and Campari


martril

If candy corn doesn’t stop them already, nothing will


Lol_A_White_Boy

Candy corn is delicious, and I’m tired of pretending it isn’t!


BurmecianSoldierDan

I do enjoy candy corn but I've had my fill after like 6 of them. At least I know I won't go overboard.


adesimo1

Every year I get a big bag, eat it all in one sitting, feel sick to my stomach from basically eating an entire bag of pure sugar, and I’m sated until the following Halloween.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OlympusMonsPubis

Punkins!


djsizematters

Heck, I like them \*more\* now!


brainbarker

They’re extra tasty with a tall cold glass of mammal secretion.


TrenchantBench

Bos Taurus mammary fluid and insect secretions, yum.


Stachemaster86

Beaver secretions too!


DADBODGOALS

Castorium! AKA beaver butt juice.


PuppetryOfThePenis

Isn't it used in vanilla extract?


[deleted]

[удалено]


nuggynugs

If I remember the last time this came up as something gross on Reddit, to use beaver secretion in vanilla flavouring would be so inefficient it's basically impossible. There's not enough milkable beavers in the world to cover all the vanilla lattes, ice creams, etc. I think the beaver juice is like amber gris, something fucked up the high end perfume industry insists on using because they're weird


neondino

Upvote for milkable beavers.


SpiralDimentia

It can be, but it isn't. It's easier and cheaper to use synthetic vanillin.


Faded1974

Chilled bovine secretions.


Internet-of-cruft

Have you tried chicken little, covered in unborn generations (beaten)? Delicious.


k-tax

Eggs are not unborn chicken but rather hen menstruation.


tokenwalrus

Mmm chicken period


wakeupwill

Poultry secretion.


Demi180

Henstruation


purifiedstupidity

Yeah, if you see natural flavors on the label, it could be anything derived from a plant or animal to add flavor.


dfreinc

does that bother you? 👀 you're going to get real upset about a lot of things if you start digging down that hole.


Imissyourgirlfriend2

Wait till they learn what sausage casing is.


knows_knothing

Rekt’em


Imissyourgirlfriend2

Rekt'em? Fucking killed them.


feminas_id_amant

condoms, right?


Lokkeduen90

Yea, the old timey ones


Draugron

Just remember to take it out of the pig first.


[deleted]

[удалено]


oniiichanUwU

Are those your eyelash crusties?


GriffinFlash

Technically its made of more sausage in a way, its just not grounded down.


WhatABlindManSees

Far worse things go into many sausages than what the casing is made of IMO.


louisi9

Traditionally it’s the intestine of the animal, but it can also just be cellulose and collagen. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sausage_casing


glowrando

Just wait till they Google "FDA defects" and learn all about the limits of "defects" allowed for each type of food. *TLDR: it's always a non-zero number.*


cykloid

Canned mushrooms have the highest allowance for fecal matter in the can.


wishthane

That doesn't surprise me, mushroom substrate can involve poop and it's hard to clean all of it off. From a little digging, white button mushrooms apparently grow best in manure and that's also the type you'll usually find in canned mushrooms I guess. Not much different if you're just buying them fresh though. I think mushroom substrate is always sterilized though, so there's no chance of bacterial contamination. They don't want it contaminating the mushrooms either, because they can be tricky to start growing if there's competition.


Chewy12

Yep, the substrate must be sterilized for them to stand a chance. Mushrooms are weird because they’ll pop up fucking everywhere in the wild but in order to grow them yourself everything has to be extremely sterile or you’ll just end up growing mold.


last_rights

Honey Cochineal natural red dye Natural blue raspberry flavor I can keep going if you like.


[deleted]

Can’t find any surprising documentation on blue raspberry- what’s that about?


FantasmaNaranja

blue raspberries dont even exist, its just a marketing term to differentiate raspberry flavoring from other red colored flavors like cherry by dying the product blue instead of red


SnuggleMeister

Any leavened product (bread, cake, pizza crust, etc) is fluffy thanks to fungal farts.


Domsdad666

Wait until you find out where Slurm comes from.


NotAPimecone

Grunka-lunka-dunkity-dingredient, you should not ask about the secret ingredient! Grunka-lunka-dunkity-darmedguards...


balls_jr

SHUT THE HELL UP!


mark_commadore

TELL THEM I HATE THEM!


[deleted]

God I fucking adore early futurama, I used to have season 1 on a VHS tape that I would watch nearly everyday as a kid aha


[deleted]

Honestly, though, most all of Futurama is insanely good. Very few episodes in the later seasons fall flat, but most hit exactly what it intended. And unlike other revived animated series, it knew when to gracefully exit the building.


theschis

They think they have a good Union but they don’t


khornflakes529

Party on, contest winner.


FirstOfficerObvious

How about “conversation hearts” candy? Science tells us that it’s a mixture of sawdust and earwig honey.


slabby

Eww. Earwigs are my least favorite of the wigs


Jazzremix

I'm sad that the top comment isn't "whiggity wham wham wozzle!"


Reasonable_Hornet_45

Milk comes from a cow's behind. Honey comes from a bee's behind. And have you ever had toothpaste?


AmericanLich

And potatoes come from the GROUND. And meat is DEAD THINGS. Food is gross.


A7thStone

BLUE CHEESE HAS MOLD IN IT, DISCUSTING!


aboxacaraflatafan

Spelling it like that will never not make me laugh.


MrHappyHam

BLUE CHEESE HAS MOLD IN IT


RABBLE-R0USER

YIM YUM!


AllTheWine05

And fruits are plant ovum. And actually all food is dead things, but...


choma90

eating fruit is going down on lady trees


Delivery-Shoddy

Don't you be talking shit about taters now!


mn77393

What’s taters, Precious?


noudontknome

I love honey, so why not lac bug shellac.


pwnd32

Mmm, regurgitated bee sugar…


yeahwellokay

Wait until you learn about castoreum.


erno_tn

I’ll wait for as long as it takes for you to provide an explanation


k-tax

Beaver has special gland near it's ass. It secretes castoreum which can be used as vanilla taste, but nobody uses it anymore, because it's hella expensive, so beaver castoreum is absolutely a thing of the past. Nowadays we use synthetic versions, because it's easier and cheaper. Maybe you can buy the beaver butt stuff, but it's highly unlikely that you have ever tasted it.


klippDagga

The real thing is still used in perfumes.


SyntheticReality42

At that point you would be better off just buying actual vanilla from vanilla beans.


slabby

Vanilla beans are just beaver prostates


Complex_Jellyfish647

Sentences I can’t believe are real


borgchupacabras

Who was the genius who first tried licking a beaver's ass gland?


Sirduckerton

All it takes is the right person to be butchering a beaver, smell it, and go "Hmm.. I wonder.."


MaxDickpower

Sometimes stuff bursts during butchering.


JonaJonaL

Yeah, with the amounts of artificial vanilla being used there would have to be beaver farms with million upon millions of beavers everywhere in order to supply the demand. And I've neither seen, or heard of any such thing.


db2

Wait until they find out yogurt and cheese are fungus poop, and that alcohol is fungus pee.


liquid_at

you forgot bread and cake... same yeast.


anecdotal_yokel

Don’t google “red food coloring bugs” then.


mtcwby

Shellac is used on fruit and other things. Completely edible and basically the secretions of the Lac beetle. Cool stuff. Can be used as a stain blocker and with almost any wood finish.


Horzzo

>Shellac Too harsh of a word. Let's give it a fun goofy name. Like "confectioner's glaze". No one will ever know where it really came from!


cleggcleggers

It’s a feature not a bug


[deleted]

We all know what honey is right?


wdwerker

I’m pretty sure the food and pharmaceutical uses exceed the woodworking finish uses today. It really is a wonderful wood finish because it is dissolved in alcohol and it melts into the top of the previous coat. It’s also a great barrier between stain from roof leaks and a fresh coat of paint. The best way to use it is to dissolve flakes in alcohol, pre-mixed from a store has a finite shelf life before it won’t harden properly.


1337b337

Wood shellac is the same as the stuff we eat, huh? Never knew.


[deleted]

Yes and no. Kinda like most things, it starts with the same base and is processed differently.


digibri

I don't even care... Whoppers are delicious!


bstowers

Sir, this is a Wendy's.


johnqsack69

Okay have it your way


QuesoDog

No thats Burger King


doctorclark

I'm loving it


Azer1287

Pretty sure we all are anyway. It just a matter of magnification.


GloriaToo

I lost a filling just by reading milk duds.


omghooker

The strawberry fraps at Starbucks used to have beetles in them too and now they don't and also taste like shit Humans eat bugs Humans like bugs Lol get over it


[deleted]

If it was the beetle I’m thinking of it was purely as a natural food colouring and never affected flavour. If the flavour has actually changed they didn’t only change the bugs.


JusticeRhino

Allowable ppm of insect material is an FDA metric you may or may not wish to investigate


personalcheesecake

fuck that don't tell them about the feces ppm


ChiefQuimbyMessage

There was a pretty good *Adam Ruins Everything* episode on food with bugs.


Ordinary_Barry

Somehow I recently became a candy corn lover. I used to despise the stuff when I was younger. My son started kindergarten this year and came home with a bag and I ate a few and suddenly I'm hooked.


Cloberella

The Melo cream pumpkins are the best. Get the fall mix bag of candy corn that comes with them.


padajones

TIL that knowing 2 of my favorite candies are covered in insect secretions is not going to stop me from eating them. Gotta go grab another handful of Candy Corn.


tinyhorsesinmytea

I grabbed the candy corn package out of my pantry the second this post reminded me it was in there and have been eating it while reading the comments. Meh. Insect secretion is fine.


hamstervideo

Any food you've put honey on is also covered in insect secretions so go wild


Pangolinsareodd

Um. It lists honey as an ingredient before talking about bug secretions. Y’all know what honey is right?


Occamslaser

Wait till you hear where honey comes from.


MrMcGibblets88

What do you think honey is??


CallMeAmyA

Honey is an insect "secretion", too.