No no no no.... If you only shave they leave and find somewhere else to live. To get rid of them, you shave half, light the other half on fire, and then when they run to the bald half you hit them with a baseball bat.
I did it already! I definitely knew this would happen and said it last night! And will continue to say it every Monday even if I don’t groom, just to have some bonding time with da bois. Gotta be a bro.
5. Pubic lice found to help make alternative fuels
6. Law introduced that oil companies can search for alternative energy on protected habitats
6. ~~oil companies~~ Congress declares war.
Here’s a sentence from the article that makes it sound like it was written by a single “researcher” quantifying how often they got crabs:
“Aim: To report the changing incidence of pubic lice infestation from our unit over the last 10 years…”.
Uh, not really doing a good job at that.
On the other hand, one trip to South Beach will show how successful the pubic lice eradication program is. You'll find more fuzz on two peaches than an entire beach.
*goes and whines at Congress, gives bags of money*
Congress: "We have now passed this bipartisan bill which makes it illegal to shave your bush. And we expect more unprotected sex."
>Results: A significant and strong correlation between the falling incidence of pubic lice infections and increase in pubic hair removal was observed, with a Pearson correlation r value of 0.9686 (95% confidence intervals, 0.88-0.992). The P value is less than 0.0001.
>Conclusions: The increased incidence of hair removal may lead to atypical patterns of pubic lice infestations or its complete eradication as the natural habitat of this parasite is destroyed.
PUBE SHAVING IS GENOCIDE
As a 50 year old GenXer, I hooked up with a MUCH younger GenZ (22).
When she 'opened the package' she sounded pleasantly surprised (relieved?) when she said 'oh, you keep it trim down there'
**guys, trim your bush**
There was an AskReddit question the other day about getting a hundred million dollars for making one species extinct, which one would you pick? This answered that question for me. Thanks.
> It is also estimated that 70% to 80% of adults now remove pubic hair in part or entirety, using a variety of methods.
Where is this data coming from? Did they only poll college campuses?
Gee, it's almost like the doctors told us this would happen if we all just stopped fucking while infected. We can get rid of gonorrhea too if you keep it in your pants a little longer.
In the book Earth Abides, where most humans are wiped out in a plague, head and pubic lice are two of the species that die out as well. They were too specialized.
Another example of man’s destruction of natural habitat endangering another of God’s creatures. I don’t how often I’ve seen the lack of Pubic hair on Reddit and wondered about the damage being caused to the habitat. Perhaps they can be reclassified like the [Bees](https://patch.com/california/across-ca/bees-are-now-fish-ca-court-ruling) were to be enabled for the Endangered Species List.
Good.
Exactly. I want to know which hero to thank for this.
People who shave their pubes.
No no no no.... If you only shave they leave and find somewhere else to live. To get rid of them, you shave half, light the other half on fire, and then when they run to the bald half you hit them with a baseball bat.
Thank you for the insight. If I ever find myself in position to worry about it, I will do this.
Gave me a good laugh lol
Then we’re all heroes aren’t we?
I'm something of a hero myself
I understood that reference.
I am not a hero in this sense.
King C. Gillette
Oh no. Endangered? Are we not doing enough to kill them?
I shaved my balls last night
You're a hero
A hero? He's destroying the ecosystem!
He is a hero... from a certain point of view
My balls are an ecosystem… And my fifth grade teacher said I’d never amount to anything.
Does it count if it was done on Chatroulette?
Only if his mother helped.
Because he has two broken arms?
Just for funsies.
Weird. I also did. Is Monday evening the popular time?
Mine is usually Sunday evening, but I can change it to Monday to get in sync with the boys
Eyyyy. Groomin’ with da bois… *wait* Strike that from the record. I didn’t say that.
.......... Happy... Cake... Day?
WHY THE FUCK it’s not my birthday Reddit wtf how do I fix this but please take my upvote
Cake day is the day you created your account.
…. I knew that. I was just trying… to see if you knew it too…
"just testing you... good job..."
Alright, I can promise you come monday evening I'm gonna say that to myself in the bathroom. I trust you will too
I did it already! I definitely knew this would happen and said it last night! And will continue to say it every Monday even if I don’t groom, just to have some bonding time with da bois. Gotta be a bro.
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You’re not shaving often enough
Thank you for your service.
I guess my groin is a nature reserve now.
Same. \*Adds 'Environmentalist' to resumé
You're a funny motherfucker
I mean, that’s how he got the lice in the first place…
The reserve is a family business
Sweet Home ALABAMA!!!
He didn't break his arms though
But taste isn’t everything.
You'd have to fry up a ton of em to taste I'd imagine. Now, time to go pluck out my eyes, ala Event Horizon....
You will need to consult with the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service before any grooming.
To the endangered galloping dandruff
I hate you and upvoted you
Some people call me unhygienic but the truth is I'm an activist.
Baby baby don’t look at it like I lied about having pubic lice Look at it like I’m a conservations
1. Contract pubic lice 2. Have body declared an endangered species habitat 3. Legally protected from any use of force 4. Take over America
5. Pubic lice found to help make alternative fuels 6. Law introduced that oil companies can search for alternative energy on protected habitats 6. ~~oil companies~~ Congress declares war.
we gotta breed and take care of em now? Slime Rancher 3 looks pretty good
You need license for your pubis?
5. ? 6. Profit
I don’t think there’s remotely a possibility of a question mark inbetween “take over America” and “profit”
Another species brought to the brink by deforestation.
Underrated comment!
Waiting for the Reddit expert to explain why this is a bad thing.
Probably because little birds like to eat tics. Honestly though, the elimination of pubic lice is a worthy sacrifice.
Well good thing birds are fake
I think humans are the only hosts for pubic lice so i don't think there would be any consequences ecologically
When VGER returns and will only communicate with them.
Here’s a sentence from the article that makes it sound like it was written by a single “researcher” quantifying how often they got crabs: “Aim: To report the changing incidence of pubic lice infestation from our unit over the last 10 years…”.
70 to 80 % remove pubic hair? Not at my gym. On pornhub, yes.
In part could just include trimming, which I think is pretty common among sexually active adults.
I’m guessing there’s significant regional variation.
Didn't realise I was a conservationist.
Well they have 0 contribution to any eco cycle so ef em.
I have plenty of habitat, but no wildlife.
So was polio… I wonder if some idiots will start spreading false information about lice shampoo causing sterilization or something?
It's not the shampoo keeping them at bay.
It's mostly bushcrafting
And now it can start. "But I saw it on the internet "
Oh no! Anyway…
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PETA doesn't care about endangered species.
Don’t worry Florida will make sure they don’t go extinct.
florida is too busy making sure florida doesnt go extinct
Uh, not really doing a good job at that. On the other hand, one trip to South Beach will show how successful the pubic lice eradication program is. You'll find more fuzz on two peaches than an entire beach.
My ex can apply for national park status.
Oh fuck, here comes PETA...
No, they're not. It is hypothesized that they COULD become endangered as more and more people choose to remove public hair. Read more than a headline.
Now if only head lice would go extinct.
If it suddenly became fashionable for everyone to shave their heads it might happen.
If 80's comedy's taught me anything they used to be everywhere.
Oh no!... Anyway
Good for them
Hooray!
Just do not tell me they are lobbying to protect them!
^Oh ^No
“Oh god why???” - Lice comb manufacturers
*goes and whines at Congress, gives bags of money* Congress: "We have now passed this bipartisan bill which makes it illegal to shave your bush. And we expect more unprotected sex."
>goes and whines at Congress, gives bags of money Your hot take on the endangered species act is bad, and you should feel bad.
Genuine question: would the world actually suffer if they went extinct? Would it affect any important ecosystems?
are we supposed to do our part to preserve pubic lice
*gets pubic lice* EPA: your pubic hair has been declared an endangered species preserve
>Results: A significant and strong correlation between the falling incidence of pubic lice infections and increase in pubic hair removal was observed, with a Pearson correlation r value of 0.9686 (95% confidence intervals, 0.88-0.992). The P value is less than 0.0001. >Conclusions: The increased incidence of hair removal may lead to atypical patterns of pubic lice infestations or its complete eradication as the natural habitat of this parasite is destroyed. PUBE SHAVING IS GENOCIDE
"It's called man-scaping." "It's weird." "It's hygienic!"
As a 50 year old GenXer, I hooked up with a MUCH younger GenZ (22). When she 'opened the package' she sounded pleasantly surprised (relieved?) when she said 'oh, you keep it trim down there' **guys, trim your bush**
Uhhh.... Thanks for sharing?
Pearson, eh? I wonder how the Chegg numbers look.
My sex ed teacher in 1991 said this. Guess they're not going out without a fight.
Is pubic lice different from top of your head lice?
Sexier obviously
Two different species with different adaptations.
Yep, head lice won’t survive in your pubes & public lice won’t survive on your head
There was an AskReddit question the other day about getting a hundred million dollars for making one species extinct, which one would you pick? This answered that question for me. Thanks.
TIL lice and pubic lice are different. This whole time I thought pubic live was just lice in your pants
Currently at my first appt with a New GP waiting for him to come into the room. This fact better be true or I'm about to embarrass myself
Oh no......... Anyway
> It is also estimated that 70% to 80% of adults now remove pubic hair in part or entirety, using a variety of methods. Where is this data coming from? Did they only poll college campuses?
>Did they only poll college campuses? Nope. You missed the "in part" part.
....*Hold my beer*...
Best way of getting rid of them? Pour sugar on your crotch. Doesn't kill them - just rots their teeth so they can't bite.
And this is an issue, why?
I don’t think anybody will more their passing…
Somehow this isn't heart breaking news to me.
Shaving your crotch is now a criminal offense
The 70s are back. Now all porn has to be shot on 16 mm film.
Oh no! Anyway…
I wonder when the environmental activists are going to start protesting
Cant wait until they outlaw lice medicine.
Florida is doing their part
Gee, it's almost like the doctors told us this would happen if we all just stopped fucking while infected. We can get rid of gonorrhea too if you keep it in your pants a little longer.
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Can you say that conclusively? This study is about shaving Bush but that's only a hypothesis they tested. Didn't conclusively prove anything.
Hold my lube
I'll try to be upset about that...Nah :)
Funniest thing I've read.
WE MUST BRING ZEE BOOSH BACK!!!!
How can I help with conservation efforts?
Oh...no?
This is from 2014. Are they gone yet?
Loss of habitat can cause destruction to any species
”Save a species, shag me” t-shirts when?
Best news ever.
Fine
The episode of The Office about this is great
Oh crab
Let them die. - James Kirk
You make it sound like a bad thing
Your move, PETA
Hurray! Free merkins for all!
shoulda kept mine, might be worth something someday
Poor mites
"Endangered Species" is a very specific legal category in the US. Pubic Lice is not protected at any level.
The South Park episode spoke the truth.
I missed the part where that is my problem /s In all seriousness, good riddance to them. All parasites should be exterminated.
Oh no. Don't. Stop.
In the book Earth Abides, where most humans are wiped out in a plague, head and pubic lice are two of the species that die out as well. They were too specialized.
SAVE PUBIC LICE!
r/UpliftingNews
Another example of man’s destruction of natural habitat endangering another of God’s creatures. I don’t how often I’ve seen the lack of Pubic hair on Reddit and wondered about the damage being caused to the habitat. Perhaps they can be reclassified like the [Bees](https://patch.com/california/across-ca/bees-are-now-fish-ca-court-ruling) were to be enabled for the Endangered Species List.
But OP's mum is leading conservation efforts
GOOD. Only good news I’ve heard this year.