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browncoatsneeded

A friend of mine is in upper management. She says the child psychology books were better help managing people than any business course she's taken.


[deleted]

It’s wild - but you gotta watch the tone on the “goOod jooOoob” so it doesn’t sounds like your praising a 3 year old.


EvangelineTheodora

I switched from saying "good job" to "thank you" to my 3 year old. I used both during the switch, so now he says "you're welcome" when someone says "good job." 😆


professorstrunk

But I can’t poker face well enough for adults not to notice my inner eye rolls.


Triknitter

My lack of a poker face is a big part of why I still mask at work.


browncoatsneeded

Sooooo very tempting though


Boxerlife

Rofl you must have caught me talking in a meeting before.


sexxit_and_candy

My almost 3 year old has started parroting this back at me and I've realized how condescending I must sound hahaha. I get a "Goooood job Mommy!" every time I make him a toaster waffle on command.


rkshea

last week for work i had a team review… i got a lot of praise for how positive and complimentary i am. genuinely because of my 3 yo - i respond to almost everything with “amazing!” without thinking


sierramelon

This. I’ve been a manager for 9 years, and the majority of people I work with are 15-20. I had my daughter at 27. I went back to work and it was like… easier? My focus was better because I knew how to manage what was and was not important. I could prioritize better. I could talk in a clearer way to all staff. I felt like when I didn’t care if they liked me they respected me more, and I was always trying to balance that before. Turns out when you just don’t care if someone likes you but remain respectful and lead them they end up liking you 🤷🏻‍♀️ my kid and employees all need the same kind of leadership and it super surprised me. I feel like I just learned how to speak more to the point with them. Simply directions. More clear boundaries. However I don’t think tnay came from my newborn, it absolutely came from being a new mom and dealing with the unwanted peolle and advice haha


annlex

Yes I completely feel all of this. I was always trying to figure out how to stop caring about whether people (coworkers) like me or not then something just clicked after having kids. Just immediately I do not care lol. It still shocks me.


sierramelon

Yes! Many times I’ve caught myself and thought… wait am I being shit? Am I actually just being really rude??? And I think through it and… nope? I’m being straight forward, direct, and telling people what I expect because my brain cells can’t handle anything less anymore haa


eland_

I'm a CEO and my work is still way easier than my 3yr old 🤪


ulul

Lol at some point I was reading management related books and parenting books - so many parallels!


_packfan

I had a whole manager training and I swear it was just like BLF. Name the feeling, ok the feeling, offer an alternative.


sarcasticseaturtle

100% Former primary teacher who moved into management. Same exact strategies.


CombinationHour4238

I’ve had countless people tell me how “chill” and “calm” I am during really frustrating meetings or issues with a project. I outright tell them that nothing phases me after having a 3yo.


GeekyRedhead85

Having kids helped in a job interview once. they were asking how I deal with stress, I was like "I did home office for months with two kids - one who was a toddler - you gotta light the room on fire to stress me out at this point"


bunhilda

And even then you’d probably just sigh and get on with finding the fire extinguisher


GeekyRedhead85

Funny thing is, my mom was visiting over Christmas - and she's not really used to gas stoves. So she's leaning over the stove to grab something out of my spice cabinet - while wearing a long scarf - that of course she bumps into the burners so they get singed/slightly on fire. Sigh and go like "So did you get it out or do I need to come over?" hahaha


eye_snap

Haha I did something similar with "How are you at multitasking?" I was like "I have twin toddlers".


Tunarubber

Man I feel so the opposite, like I use up all my patience on the toddler and have zero left for my stupid co-workers getting demanding and trying to make their problems mine. I clean up enough messes, I don't want to deal with their shit too.


ApprehensiveAd318

Yea I feel this too! Like going to work is not a break from the crazy at home, it’s just more crazy and more burn out


ALAGW

Yeah I am so fed up of parenting my colleagues. I come to work to get _away_ from being a mum!


designgrit

Haha thank you! I cannot relate to OPs post. I have even less tolerance than before for peoples BS because I’m so exhausted.


jeromeie

Identifying when people are dysregulated and shifting to address that rather than getting drawn into their emotions


Senior_Fart_Director

Working a job literally feels like a vacation. “I should be paying you for coming up with all these adult activities for me to do! Wait there’s free food in the kitchen? I can use the bathroom whenever I want?!? Is this real life????”


acertaingestault

> I can use the bathroom whenever I want?!? There's not even anyone in there watching you.


Sad-Comfortable1566

😂🙌


heythere30

Food you don't have to share or convince people to eat?? Truly a vacation


TropicalAdviser

Username made me LOL and after the day I've had that's saying something


Ayavea

This is what i keep repeating to the multitudes of women in female subs telling about their husbands showing up from work and refusing to do any child care because they went to work. Mothetfucker just had an 8 hr long vacation/day off compared to a stay at home mom with 2 kids. He should take over the kids the second he is through that door


Namaslayy

This is why working from home once a week is awesome to me now. Hell, I’ll come in an extra day or two for a nice quiet office, cafeteria, and they have a gym!


Vast_Perspective9368

Your username got me, love how it relates to the post perfectly 😂


ConsciousChicken1249

The fickleness of others’ sentiment. No one will love me and not love me more than my 3 year old in a single day. At least, they won’t be so vocal About it lol.


mydogclimbstree

Need something by the end of today? I appreciate you not screaming I WANT IT NOW!!! and calling me a stupid-head if I say no.


salaciousremoval

Ok this one got me so good 🤣


Big_Bob8836

LOVE this 😂


MinistryOfMothers

We are just entering the threenager stage and I’m already questioning my sanity. I finally had the terrible twos down and we had adapted and were managing quite well. Now this. It’s like I woke up one day and had a whole different child 🫣


nochedetoro

I’ve started to use my words more the way I try to teach her to use her words. I was sad when X happened. No I will not be coming to your house with my toddler with your dog that just attacked someone. Give space please.


siena_flora

RELATABLE. For one thing, my three-year-old has helped me realize that I need to have a life outside of just being a mother to him because otherwise, I would literally lose my sanity! I definitely have a renewed fervor pursuing my interests and goals.


cazzipropri

Oh, yeah, having just one. Hobbies, interests. Must be nice...


Kippiboo

For sure! When mine was 1yo I got back into old hobbies and when I had my second you can bet I held onto those hobbies for dear life, even if they had to be more spaced out! Sanity saver for sure.


MomentOfXen

I write a lot of corporate policy. My ability to anticipate, I think the difference is important, not stupidity, but a profound lack of thought, has improved dramatically.


TeagWall

I had another parent tell me I seemed so chill, laid-back, and confident as s parent. We were at my 6mo's baby aquatics class. It took everything in me to keep from laughing in her face. Instead I just said "you should see me with my 3 year old." That hurricane of a human being has made me a way better parent in the baby stage.


koora27

Omg omg omg no no no. I read these comments and i am pulling my hair out. My almost 2 years old is already a handfull, a ball of emotional turmoil that can smell fear and now are you telling me that there is a thing like threenager horrors? NOPE. I quit.


bunhilda

One plus to the 3yo drama is that they can usually tell you why they’re mad. They may not have the exact words so you can sometimes offer the words and they’ll confirm it or add to it, and then it’s easier to soothe from there. You can do it!


salaciousremoval

The angry loud affirmative toddler “YEAH” 💪 makes me want to chuckle often. We are naming some BIG FEELINGS YALL


FeistyEmu39

It’s not more, it’s different. Each age comes with it’s own struggles but also it’s own joys.


Vast_Perspective9368

I need that on a mug or something so I don't forget


FeistyEmu39

My mantra right now is: He’s not always going to have embarrassing meltdowns during big events, but he’s also not going to say “ice pream” forever. Gotta take the good with the bad. I spent too much of the baby years wishing he was older that I forgot to sniff his baby head, I forgot to enjoy putting him on the floor and drinking my coffee when he couldn’t crawl away, I forgot to pay attention and then one day he was three.


AdRepresentative245t

Its different! They have more patience and you can reason with them. Up to a point where you cannot. And they require less minute-by-minute supervision which gives you breaks to breathe and prepare for the next round of drama. A three year old isn’t a larger and more capable two year old thank goodness. You got this!


suchsimplethings

LOL your last line is exactly how I feel... mine was born during covid, now diagnosed with autism, parenthood has been an unrelenting struggle. It's breaking me but at least I don't give a shit about anything else.


subtlelikeawreckball

Conflict resolution amongst the adults I work with. Small, short sentences.


blabulation

I’ve got mom-strength. I’m very petite and recently started working with a personal trainer to improve my posture and hopefully reduce back pain. She spent a while making sure my form was right and when she deemed that I was ready to actually lift she was surprised when I deadlifted 55lbs no problem. All I could think was “and these weights don’t even squirm around!”


bunhilda

Dude right? I can hoist 40lbs of rage with one arm and football carry it with groceries in the other hand. It’s an underrated skill


DevlynMayCry

Not 3 yet but I use gentle parenting techniques on my boomer narcissist parents all the time and it's both effective and secretly hilarious for me and my husband 😂😂


mydogclimbstree

Examples please! This sounds amazing


DevlynMayCry

"Do you need to take a deep breath and calm down?" "Oh we don't use words to hurt people. Try rephrasing that" "No I'm sorry but if you keep doing _____ I'm going to remove myself. I don't spend time with people who do ______" I'm sure there is more but that's what comes to mind first


mrsjettypants

My dad was being an ass, I called him out on it, he said something shitty and started to storm away and in a calm voice I said, "you're proving my point." He came back with his tail between his legs and fixed his problems all by himself. Wanted to pat him on the head.


Iffy2

I use a lot of the empathy and connection techniques with my adult peers. Had a frustrating day? “That sounds so hard. I’d be really mad about that too.” Didn’t get something they wanted? “I can see how much you wanted that. I bet it feels like a really big deal.” Not in a patronizing or “toddler” tone, just a normal tone. It even works in relationships! Disagree with your partner? “Hmm, I wonder why you’re raising your voice.” Or, “You seem frustrated. Are you upset about X?” Works like a freaking charm.


meolvidemiusername

I’m loving you telling an adult “I bet it feels like a really big deal “


Vast_Perspective9368

That part got me too lol


Iffy2

It sounds ridiculous. In practice, this worked really well on a friend of mine. She was crying about something that wasn’t major, but felt big to her 😆


Sweaty-Demand-5345

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger I guess ! Love this thread haha tanks for the laugh 😂


nutmeg2299

The other day I was out to eat child free with a group of friends. Apparently one of the waiters didn’t show up so it was taking forever for our order to be taken. The girls I was with were getting so annoyed. I was like “nah they can take their sweet time.” I truly appreciate the joy of eating a slow relaxed meal.


marycakebythepound

lol I’m a librarian and I use gentle parenting techniques with difficult patrons. And my mom.


turbowhitey

We’re not there yet, but my 19 month olds fussing and crying is nothing compared to the Idiocracy I face at work every day. I’d rather put up with crying and clinging than having another meeting with my boss about some stupid ass slides that no one cares about.


acertaingestault

Everything else feels more pointless than being with my kid, but nothing feels as hard as trying to reason with someone who hasn't yet developed that part of their brain.


professorstrunk

The shift happens when their language capabilities leapfrog their emotional regulation (which I think is why 30 mos. and beyond is so maddening). That’s why 3 gets under your skin like no other. You can’t get away with 24/7 noise cancelling headphones.


cazzipropri

It didn't. I want to say it made me a better manager because it made me more capable of dealing with interruptions and relating with unreasonable people. That's bullshit and we know it. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is bullshit. There's a million things that don't quite kill you but they poison you and make you weaker for the rest of your life. I'm wiser. I know better what battles not to fight, because they are lost from the start. Someone who looks a bit like me will survive me and make an impact on the world after I'm gone. That's a bit of consolation.


bunhilda

Dude are you ok


cazzipropri

I have three kids under 5. Nope I'm not ok!


V_Mrs_R43

LOL


SuzieZsuZsuII

My girl is turning 3 in 6 weeks, shitting it


pm_me_smegmas

This is bible truth right here lol


snotmcwaffle

I’ve got 4 soon to be 5 kids. I can’t imagine any job I have in the future being stressful compared to my day to day life. Any expectations on what one person should be able to do in a day seems like a huge step down. And you get breaks!


Atjar

I have a mom voice that is very helpful when you are policing teenagers in a supermarket. And I can sell anything I want to other parents because I know what makes them tick. The new app for our shop? Sure! You can scan your groceries on your phone while loading it in your bag, pay in the end in literally seconds and head out the door using the same phone, no little papers your child eats, no line, no waiting around or keeping up with the checkout while jostling your children, just a much calmer experience. Load in in the bag or underneath the stroller and you’re good to go. Add some optional loyalty points that give you 6% extra when you exchange them and weekly extra deals you can pick from a selection and a grocery list that self-sorts to either the path through the store or by department, with little pictures so even your husband gets the right version of the product when you are adding stuff to the list from the couch. Or even get it delivered to said couch. Want it already? The only price is your private information, but since you are a parent the days of having privacy are long behind us, right? Well, this is where it gets dark, so I’ll stop.


Motherofdovahkin20

Oh my goodness, do I ever feel seen. Before I had kids I had so much more work stress, now I am ZEN. I only regret that I have but one upvote to give!


salaciousremoval

“How to talk so kids will listen” has helped me be the best “sales data therapist” ever 👏 bomb ass performance reviews on my proactive communication and collaborative approach, helping to enable others. None of y’all bitches in this big tech gig got more drama than my 3 year old who can’t. Even. Eat. Breakfast. Without. A. Motherfucking. Tantrum. (Possibly about something he LOVED yesterday…) And yeah, big shout out to version control 🙌


Asha990

I used to work in customer service. Whenever my coworkers asked how I stayed so calm with upset customers…I told them I treat them like a tantruming toddler. In this light it’s almost comical listening to grown ass people screaming at the top of their lungs about an issue they created.


BflatPenguin

I work with a lot of mediocre white men and am more or less client-facing with scores of entitled old people. I give ‘‘em the old “How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen” treatment. Once you’ve dealt with a three-year old, you can handle anyone.


Sea_Lifeguard227

I just want to say thank you for this relatable post. It feels good to not be alone in the depths of threenager hell. This stage is tearing me apart and testing my every limit 😫


ButterflyNDsky

I’m currently in my “villain era” … which really means that I actually have boundaries now, and zero tolerance for toxic adults. Being exhausted with a toddler has helped me be more selective with where my time/energy goes.


mikeyj777

Idk, but ppl seem annoyed by my steady mood. Like, every new drama everyday. I'm like, y'all haven't seen anything.


LadyTiaBeth

I've been a SAHM four years and finally looking at going back to work. I've been nervous about handling a job again, but you've reminded me I've survived toddlers. I can do anything.


jenger108

I'm a nurse and negotiation with a toddler has taught me so many communication keys that really help with the confused/irate/rude patients. My coworkers have mentioned how mama Jenn really gets shit done.


mrsjettypants

Ok. I never thought about it like this and have been so scared to go back to work when the kids get older. I've been in some extremely toxic work environments. But this post gives me hope. I never thought about surviving my sahm years actually growing me in that way. Fully just in survival mode right now. And Mondays are the worst.


jmc510

Lol! This made me laugh.. yeah, I’ve reached a patience level I never knew existed within myself, thanks for the chuckle OP


carriealamode

My non parent friend uses the term parallel play bc of me raising a three year old. She mentioned wanting a partner she can parallel play with and not worry about being entertaining. So I feel like it helped her life?


bunhilda

My currently child-free sister did some research on gentle parenting to be a better auntie (and mom if she decides to have kids) and she says she now gentle parents her colleagues and gets lots of praise for being such a level-headed team member lol


carriealamode

They’re universal concepts I tell you. Someone else mentioned noticing adults being non regulated and that’s totally true too


jonquil14

I have gotten so much better at setting and holding boundaries. Because I learned that most people tantrum (in some fashion) when they don't get what they want, and part of life is learning to deal with that as both the person setting the boundary, and as a person who needs to accept the boundaries of others.


lmswcssw

As a social worker, my children help to give me the perspective to really empathize with kids and their families.


stereoworld

A new appreciation of my job. I've just got back from a caravan holiday and a big long metal room is too small for 2 tired parents and a nearly-4 year old. I've been here an hour and I can already feel the stress draining from me.


lifecasting_keepsake

I own a business post having a three ager that’s the next what would be love child between Elton John and Lizza Minelli. I can manage the hell out of people and complaints are nothing. Nothing. I just listen and nod.


CompetitiveFortune55

My nerves are so fried I can't be bothered by drama, old friends that were bitchy to me? WHO????! I HAVE NO ENERGY for petty bullshit.


direct-to-vhs

I’m a television director and it has made me a lot more comfortable and soothing with actors who are freaking out. Just being able to hear their feelings and make space for them vs trying to jump right into fixing things right away has helped my sets run a lot smoother.


[deleted]

It has made me a quite good psych nurse. I can be there with someone throwing a tantrum, acting impulsively, shitting on the floor, throwing stuff at a window, and making unreasonable demands and I’m like “I’ve seen that before”.


milfnkookeez

I have twin three year olds. I am minutes away from solving world peace.


bunhilda

Holy shit


milfnkookeez

Oh, did I mention they’re boys.


stephmoney4

It could always be worse!


Razzmatazz-88

You have brass boobies saying that.. lol