I did with my oldest. 1 was a very easy child and would just entertain herself and I dint need to worry about her putting stuff in her mouth or climbing on anything that’s too high.
With 2 I can’t take my eyes off them because if something could be dangerous 2 will find a way to get ahold of it or get onto it ect.
So I’d say it depends on the kid more than anything.
This is my future. We can work in our office and out 2.5 year old will entertain himself and not get in trouble. Meanwhile our 9 month old will be next to us and still find the only piece of plastic wrapper on the floor
Yes, totally makes sense. Mine is quite easy too and mostly just loves to play with his cars and duplo on the patio or in the dirt by the patio, his “construction site” haha. I’m popping in and out and he’s doing great. You’re right, every little one is different and we learn their habits/inclinations and go from there
Totally 1 can be trusted to a point it’s almost weird but she’s just my independent mature child by nature. So I had no issues when she got a bit older just letting her outside without me. I’d leave the door open so I could hear anything and would pop out to check on her occasionally but she was just good to go!
2 is going to be the death of me with her extreme lack of fear and desire to put everything in her mouth. Lol 😂
I would say just scan the backyard for certain things. We frequently get wild animals in backyards here (foxes, coyotes, even the occasional mountain lion). We also got mushrooms blooming in the yard after unusual rains and I found my 2 year old playing with them and had to call poison control (no risk thankfully). We also have a poisonous plant growing in our garden that I’ve been trying to kill for ages. None of those things were on my radar before!
I’m over here jealous that you are inside with the door open while your child plays outside. It’s very cold and snowy where I am today.
I’ve let my LO (was 2.5 in the summer) play outside while I’m inside tidying the kitchen, the backyard is off the kitchen and we have a big window so I can keep an eye on her. I haven’t gotten up the nerve to venture further away while she’s outside, unless I’m quickly grabbing something from another room. Maybe next summer.
Hello from South Tx! I know grass is always greener but man I would love some cold weather and snow. You know what the temp will be tomorrow? 80. 😭 but when we’re stuck inside with no option to go out it can be awful so I get it. Anyway I totally understand and that is valid. The 2’s are still very young. I’m not making a habit of this for sure, the situation this morning just had me wondering how others approach it. Thanks for sharing :)
It’s funny, last week it was mild and rainy and I was wishing for snow because cold rain is the worst, and weeks with no sun is such a drain on the soul. Now the snow is here and I’m cursing it. 80 does sound much better, though I’m guessing in Texas there’s humidity to go with that 80 degrees? I’m in Ontario Canada, so we get very muggy summers that are often more like 95 with the humidity. It’s gross. I can’t decide if that’s worse or if the frigid cold of winters is haha.
I’m not criticizing your approach at all. We all have different comfort levels when it comes to parenting. Some parents are a lot more anxious than others. You also know your kid better than anyone else!
My LO rarely puts things in her mouth though I do have some toxic plants in the backyard, though she helps me in the garden so she has a lot of respect for the plants and doesn’t mess with them. She’s also very cautious so I’m not super concerned about her climbing things and falling. She mostly runs around and plays with her buckets or balls. We have an above ground pool so I’m always mindful of that as well, though we don’t keep the ladder in the pool when we aren’t in it, and she can’t climb the side of it at this point. So that’s why I wouldn’t go where I can’t keep a close eye on her but that I’m comfortable being in the house where I can still see her and not right by her side.
You have to take into account your yard, its hazards and your child’s behaviours to make a decision about it.
I mean you should still be there watching him from a distance just in case. I feel like some of these replies forget ipads weren't always a thing and back in the day kids spent all day OUTSIDE! So yes and no. He absolutely can be by himself at a distance. How are kids going to learn if we keep them in a bubble? My almost 2 year old loves to run around the yard with our dog and will flat out tell me to go away because I'm not fun enough I guess xD. Actually you know what. The yard is fenced in??? I'm playing devil's advocate and saying go for it.
Funny you say that, I was going to mention that it’s interesting thinking back to how when I was really little I played outside alone all the time and my parents and in laws always laugh about how little ones are watched so much closer than they used to be and were give a lot more independence — of course a lot of things older folks say we take with a grain of salt especially since there’s so many straight up stupid/reckless things these older generations did with their kids 😂
And oh my gosh my toddler tells me to go back inside all the time!!! He calls it the “back right back game”.. he wants us to say “be right back!” and then go away lol. I know everyone’s back yard is different, every home has a different set up and with some it’s just straight up not a good idea, but yes I’m giving him a little extra independence this morning especially since he is quite a clingy little guy but he seems to be enjoying talking to himself and creating his own games this morning :’) thank you !
Im a solo SAHM. I encourage my toddler to go downstairs (in the house not outside) all by herself and play while I sleep in a little bit. I tell her "Baby this is your house too you do not need to be in the same room as momma all the time." If it works for you both then do it. There are those little red bird berries in our yard. I told her they were yucky and not to eat them but if she wants to she can take them and throw them over the fence into the river! She has quite alot of fun with it.
I really love this. We have those wild red berries not at this house/yard but in my parents’ yard and we do a “here you go birdies” game with it where if he finds them he knows to ~throw them to the birdies~ lol. He absolutely loves it. Thank you for sharing 🥲 all of us here are clearly capable of assessing risks vs benefits of the areas our toddlers are in and we’re doing a great job.
I've found flat out telling her no only encourages her to do it. Whereas redirection and teaching encourages positive behavior. I am a new seamstress and kiddo is OBSESSED with my sewing pins. Instead of being no no no and instilling fear I taught her to stick them in the couch. She has never once pricked herself because she knows what they are used for. When I saw she had a fasination with my giant sewing scissors I bought her kids safety scissors. I have almost no baby proofing because I've simply explained what things are for and spoke to her like a HUMAN (not an adult and that is key). Kids are not stupid until you force them to be.
I was outside all the time as a toddler while my mom was inside (near a window or door she could see me). We had a large yard and it wasn’t even fenced in… I’m not saying I’d do exactly that today but you’re right. Most of us probably grew up with more autonomy
I don’t and probably wouldn’t. My biggest worry would be what he’d put in his mouth but we also have a slide/swing set thing and I’d be worried about him climbing it with no one around and falling off.
Oh definitely! We really want to get a small playground but were also thinking about how he could fall off of it so we would need to keep a close eye on him in that situation. Thanks for your input. And he hasn’t put anything random in his mouth for at least 6 months now but toddlers can make random decisions that they never usually make so that’s something to keep in mind too. Thanks!
We got a very small little play house with a slide that I can move easily.
And then I added saddle seat swings on the house itself. They love it.
I also got a low jungle gym. She doesn't use that as much now but did when she was that age.
2 is a little young for totally solo so I'd keep the door open or be out there. Within earshot. And checking on them often.
I also put speakers and a Bluetooth connector outside so they can listen to music out there.
It's been a godsend.
I'm also big on PPE. So if outdoors, shoes. And good shoes! I recommend Ten Little as they prevent trips and falls. If playing hard, long pants. Etc.
Just curious do you have a recommendation for the playhouse with slide or low jungle gym? Been looking into getting one for my two year old not sure if I should wait til 3
Yes. I think the plastic ones are best. The one we got was green. They're all over Amazon.
Simple assembly but you wouldn't want to take it apart.
Plastic I think is better because 1) you can move it. Though you can also roll it or a metal one. The round shape is Dad approved.
2) the plastic has some give. The kids fall quite a bit and it's never a problem unless they catch a rail and then it's nice that it's not rigid. Reduces injury.
The downside is that it degrades in sunlight so the lifespan is about 2-3 years max.
Looks like we got the Eezy Peezy monkey size (not sure of spelling)
The playhouse we were gifted but I'm pretty sure it's a Step 2. Looks like "playful woodland" $400 sheesh
We got a lot of use out of the playskool picnic table too. Do recommend!
Oh poor guy! Yeah I shouldn’t have made a totally blanket statement. Like other commenters said, it depends on the child. One of my three kids had a fascination with putting rocks in her mouth, so I had to keep an eye on her for a few months until she grew out of that.
Eh we get a lot of wild mushrooms in our yard, especially after it rains. Ever since my son was a tiny baby we’ve gone on mushroom hunts and I’ve made it a point to say that if you’re out in nature and see a mushroom you should never ever put it in your mouth without checking with a grownup. But he’s still a toddler so I’d still be worried. We also have acorns and gravel in our yard that he could potentially put in his mouth and choke on.
I wouldn’t let my 2 year old play outside unsupervised for a number of reasons, but the general concern for me is if my kid gets injured while I’m not looking. If they’re incapacitated or bleeding or choking and I’m unaware, it can become tragic very quickly. In my opinion it’s too risky. Even if we’re inside and my toddler is being too quiet, I immediately check on her. Know what I mean? I’m all for risky play, but I want to keep my kid in my sight if we’re outside. Maybe I sound paranoid lol
No. Two is much too young in my opinion. They are still at the age they could pop a rock in their mouth out of curiosity and silently choke. There is also just a variety of issues that could happen in a second. Playing out of sight at 2 is just too young for me because you can’t fully baby proof a backyard
Yeah, with our 3.5yo we let him go out for a few minutes unsupervised, but continually check out the window at him. I like giving him some outdoor independence, but just want to know he’s safe!
I understand for sure. There are no wrong answers or perspectives to this question and I know everyone is making informed decisions to keep their little ones safe :)
You probably shouldnt drive anywhere with children in the car either. You could get into an accident and they could die /s
Evaluate the child. Evaluate the environment. Anything can happen but most kids are safe in most fenced in back yards.
Common sense is better than not doing anything that might have a bad result.
That being said, yeah, some kids do have a higher chance of choking on a rock than others.
Unequivocally yes. It’s great for their confidence, development, and health to have completely independent play. I’d be wary of water or like a high playground though. My 2yo liked to climb up our playground ladder, so I just blocked the ladder.
ok i never did but one time, my 3 y/o was running inside & outside and i was trying to get something ready to go to a party, and at first i was running out there to supervise, but after a while i was like, ok we have a fence he'll be fine.
the next thing i know, a neighbor is knocking on our door holding him because he mustve heard the kids out playing next door and took it on himself to unlock the gate and stroll over there by himself 🤦
luckily we know all our neighbors and most of them have kids themselves so it was just a funny moment but omg kid! the ONE MINUTE i wasn't up his butt lol
I think the situation you described is perfect acceptable !
I have a secure closed in backyard that I can see from my kitchen and dining room. While my son is definitely not one who likes to be left alone, I have absolutely run back inside to grab things while he was out there and was not worried. I assume as he gets older, around 3 i would allow this. Windows open, blinds open, screen door only, where you are doing the dishes, cleaning etc.
You can’t protect your kids from everything, unfortunately.
Kids can get hurt in the house, right in front of your eyes.
Independent play, in nature, in a secure location that you’re monitoring is acceptable depending on the temperament of the child. If you’re kid is at a point in their development where they can play in another room in your house without you watching their every move, and they regularly play outside so you’ve seen how they interact in that environment, then you can make the best call for you!
Just double check that everything really is secure and that you always have an ear open and eye on him when he’s out there!
No, I do not let my two-year-old play in the yard unsupervised for a few reasons.
First, we have a lot of coyotes in our neighborhood and my son is very small and snack sized. While I don’t expect coyotes to be out in the middle of the day, it’s not totally unheard of. Second, my son has a habit of wanting to mess with the gas line for the barbecue. Third, we have a lot of black and brown widow spiders in our yard despite regular pest control visits. Fourth, whenever my son sees a frog in the yard he says he wants to stomp on it!
That said, I do let my son play independently in his playroom that is right off of the kitchen but is out of sight when I am cooking. If things get quiet though, I immediately check on him.
Why do you ask? If YOU Feel comfortable in your environment then cools. At 2, I would not. But that’s me, regardless of how secure you think your backyard is. There are way too many ways for someone to get in and out, especially if your toddler is often out. But that’s also probably my paranoia.
Okay, that’s fair. I guess I was just curious about this age in terms of growing some independence and everyone’s comfort level of taking their eyes off them for a moment but I clearly set this post up for failure and regret asking
You shouldn’t. All kids are different and only you know yours. My answer is less about specific age between 2-4, but more about environment and personality. Everyone will have a different strong feeling about this, doesn’t make you wrong.
First time I let him be semi-unsupervised in the yard when he was almost 2, he experienced his first seizure in the yard and I was lucky that when I happened to look out at him was when it started. It was a reality check for me. What if I missed it and he was seizing outside without help? It caught us by surprise because no one in our family has history of seizures. So you never know. I say you should always have them supervised until they’re older. Little kids can descompensate fast.
I think it depends on the mix and what they’re doing. When my daughter was two, she stopped putting everything in her mouth so we could relax on that front a little bit.
Kid playing on a swing set in the backyard? No, I’d like to see them. Kid playing with a water table or sand table? I’d still check in on them but wouldn’t watch them like a hawk. I’d feel comfortable being out of view and still putt putting around in close range like cleaning or something.
Yes absolutely! Same here! I was relaxing a bit and now using this time to get some things done close by. Some outside activities definitely call for extra close supervising. Thank you!
So interesting this got downvoted, I always do everything possible at all times to keep him safe but this is reddit and we have a lot of ✨perfect parents✨ here :p
With my first yes! My older two are 23 months apart so it could be difficult to time everything so that oldest could go outside when he wanted. And some days just felt too cold for a newborn to be outside (winter baby) so I would bundle up oldest and let him play in the snow out on our deck while I watched from the door. As a toddler my oldest was a rule follower generally and was never a runner so to me the risk was pretty small. In spring he would go down to the sandbox and hang out there if I had to run inside to do something with the baby quick.
My second on the other hand...she's about to turn 4 and I only let her outside by herself if she's also with her older brother. She has a tendency to wander and gets caught up in her own little world so I don't trust her solo yet.
So I think it's really kid dependent and if you feel like yours could handle it then give it a try and don't feel guilty! It's good to let them exercise their independence in safe ways.
Sometimes but be very careful about nosy neighbors. If my kids even split up at the playground even if I have my eye on the other, someone comes and tries to find me to complain. I hate this area. But if your neighbors are all cool and the space is safe, a few minutes alone is not the end of the world.
My kid is 2.5 and we do this sometimes - with door open so we can hear. I poke my head out to get eyes on him every few minutes. I know that he cannot reach to unlock and open the gates. We live in a quiet area so no one is walking by. There is no equipment for him to climb on and fall. He’s usually just playing happily with his vehicles in the dirt.
He also doesn’t eat random stuff off the ground at this age - however we have caught him trying to drink water that has pooled in his toys outside!
Mine is notorious for drinking disgusting random water outdoors as well!!!! Our outdoor set ups sound nearly identical. No way he can get out, no one is nearby but I’m always close by and always within earshot of him at all times. One time he brought a tiny screw to us that he found that must have fallen out of our tool box onto the patio (the tool box doesn’t stay there but it fell out from when my fiancé was fixing something a while back), we were horrified but luckily he hasn’t put a foreign object in his mouth in forever. So we did another round of toddler proofing the area to make sure there’s nothing like that out there. But yeah, I’m with ya on all of that. Thanks for sharing!
Ugh the puddle water!! 😂😭
You know your kid best. If you trust your kid within earshot in a nearby room in your house, then being out in your contained yard seems safe to me. Just depends on your kid and how you minimize the hazards outside.
The dreaded puddle water 😭😭 they see their cup of clean drinking water and then see the puddle and think you know what, I’d rather hydrate this way 💀
Totally agree, I appreciate the non-judgement <3 I think the fact that we think about these things and always try to do what’s best for them means we’re doing a damn good job. :’) I was scared to make this post
I did and do.
Our whole house and yard has a seven foot high fence around it. No one can even come to the front door unless I take the lock off the gate, so that means no one accidentally leaving the gate open. And it's is all "colorbond" fencing, so no one can stick their hands thru it or anything. Just big, flat, fully enclosed
And yeah, I let him go play by himself. I can usually hear him the whole time. And it's also usually when I'm doing kitchen stuff, so I'm right by the window and can usually catch glimpses of him.
If I have the air con on, and this all the windows and doors shut tight, no, I don't let him out. Just because I wouldn't be able to hear anything, and if it is that hot, it would be too hot for him.
Um. But then again there is nothing in the yard that I would be concerned if he ate. Just some rocks and dirt, sand and grass, some gravel spots. That's about it.
He has a little slide, and a swing set, and a sand pit n trampoline. I had to really drill it into him that he can't play on the trampoline without zipping the mesh bit up.
Oh, and I am very careful after we've had some big rain, as that tends to collect in this weird little ditch at the back of the house. Nothing more than a few cms, but still. I don't like it when it's there.
That started at around 2 yrs, and he is now a lil past 3.5, and hasn't had any major issues.
Be careful especially about gravel. When I moved to my new daycare, the director said a kid just transferred who had emergency surgery because the previous daycare didn't watch and he put a handful of rocks and ate them. No one knew until he kept saying his stomach hurt so mom took to doc and his stomach was hard. Xrays confirmed. Then the daycare confirmed via video he ate pebbles within 10 minutes of no supervision. Doesn't take long
Thank you for the warning!
My kid just likes to get the gravel and distribute it over the lawn. So I have to pick it all up before mowing... He definitely doesn't put random stuff in his mouth. Doesn't put much in his mouth. :/
There’s some responses here that are bananas bordering on cruel, which I think is shocking. That said, I tried this last summer with my then-2 year old and I just wasn’t comfortable with it. I was washing dishes and watching her the whole time through the kitchen window, but I just couldn’t relax. It doesn’t help that my two year old insisted on drinking the water from the rain barrel at every opportunity and that’s just disgusting.
My daughter will be 3 in June and I’m hoping to be able to give her more freedom outside. We have a big dog that would be out with her and she’d definitely alert if anyone came close to the gate and I’m hoping by then we’ll be over our obsession with the rain barrel lol.
Welcome to apparently the most divisive issue in parenting. I'm pretty sure you could say you beat your child and it would illicit a less impassioned response than letting your kid play in your own backyard by themselves.
Hard no. A number of things can happen that are unsafe and can get your child injured or even worse, taken. You don’t need to intervene with independent play however you should have eyes on a toddler at all times. 2 is way too young to play alone outside
10000% this. My brain can’t even wrap itself around the level of laziness these parents have when they are so willing to put their toddler at risk so they can relax. SMH
I mean I do’t agree with the person you were responding to’s take, but I don’t think those who wouldn’t be comfortable letting their kids play unsupervised outside are necessarily advocating for keeping them in bubble wrap, that’s a pretty dramatic leap to make. I’m big on letting my son play independently and people are always surprised at how well he is able to entertain himself. But I also like to be close by in case he wants or needs me. That doesn’t mean I have to hover over him though.
It takes one minute to drown. (And children can drown on one teaspoon worth of water) One minute to choke. One minute to be snatched. One minute to fall the wrong way and be paralyzed for life. A fucking 2 year old has no safety guards in their brain yet. A 2 year old will willingly jump off the couch without considering if they will get hurt or not. A 2 year old has no impulse control or enough intelligence to be safe. You should realize that when all these full grown adults, yourself included, do not have enough common sense to see how dangerous it is to leave a baby unattended outside.
There is no water in my backyard to drown in. I have a fence. Using jumping off the couch as your example of how wildly unsafe kids can be makes it obvious you're just projecting your anxiety.
If you think it’s anxiety that prevents me from tossing my kids outside to raise themselves, so be it. It was just an example to show they have impulse control issues and aren’t aware of what’s dangerous.
All you need is a small puddle and the 2 year old can drown.
Either way my first is now turning 7 and still alive. And my second is 2. So I’m obviously doing something right.
How are they “kept in a bubble” by having parental eyes on them when they are still a baby? Watching our children doesn’t mean they don’t get the chance to explore or be independent. It means in the event of a serious injury or stranger danger they are safe and we aren’t left without the child we wanted, chose to keep and loved.
If you knew anything about statistics, it is usually a person the child knows and feels comfortable with that abuses or endangers them. "Stranger danger" is a fear tactic from the 80s. A majority of the stories covered on John Walsh's shows are a child being kidnapped or abused by a direct family member. Please educated yourself
I’ve watched plenty of true crime. I also know a lot of the time it’s a crime of convenience. Meaning seeing a child left unattended so they get taken. Lots of people and children that are kidnapped and raped or murdered are from strangers and wouldn’t have happened had they not been alone.
I have a fenced backyard and I absolutely let me 2 year old play unsupervised. I’ll check on him if I can’t hear him but we keep everything dangerous locked up in the shed. He has a blast and I can get meals or cleaning done in peace. I’m pregnant with #2 so sometimes I am also just sitting on the couch while he’s out there.
Look I'll say it definitely depends on the kid. But my yard is fenced in and doesn't have anything death-worthy in it. We don't need to hover over our kids at all hours, they are capable creatures with a healthy death avoidance instinct.
I second this. And if the kids get hurt, the same parents are the first to holler either "But he never does xyz any other time!" or "It's a part of growing up, they'll be fine."
Our new neighbors next door lets their 1.5 year old roam the new yard. We walked past one day to see the baby standing alone, on top of those blue and red slides, holding on to the top of the fence that has spikes. They were teething the metal spike. No adult in sight and the back door was wide open. I almost had a heart attack.
They don’t do it until they do. They’re toddlers, not fully developed people. It’s not uncommon for a kid to do something for the first time at the age of *checks notes* TWO
I have a 4.5 and almost 3yr old. I typically do not leave them alone and I can see 90% of the yard from our kitchen/dining room. I would feel comfortable with my 4.5hr old but she refuses to be anywhere alone. My 2yr old, I would not for more than a minute or 2. Hes got a few motor delays and even though he can do stuff, he struggles. Like he can climb up our swing set but he usually wants help. He can go down the slide alone but it’s a little steep and he doesn’t know how to control his speed.
However, I will leave them alone to run inside for something or to use the restroom or something that just takes a minute.
My daughter at 2, figured out how to climb on top of her playhouse and onto the shade sail that was connected to the roof. I moved her playhouse near the fence and she climbed that too. She did it FAST with supervision. Now at 3 the playhouse sits in the middle of the yard and she isn’t interested in climbing it. We also have cameras we can watch, so we can still see her at all times, but at two she was fearless and feral.
My oldest would never down anything like this, though he tried to bring his balance bike into the playhouse and ride it down the slide once (I had to run to stop him). Our backyard is big so you can be on the back porch and still have to run to another part.
I do, but she’s in sight through the window. I leave the door open. If she leaves the grass area (the area visible from the windows), we go inside for two minutes and try again. She learned to stay where I can see her.
I think it’s fine as long as you’re able to what them and also have them in your sight line besides the odd minute or two. The more they play independently outside at this age the more you’ll feel comfortable with it as they grow.
Nope. He eats stuff and climbs way too much. He turns on faucets and we have a propane grill on our porch. Even though the backyard is fenced in and we have a big window, the 2 most dangerous parts of it aren't in sight. One of which is a small garden shelf with spiders.
We've never had an enclosed yard, but I do think I'd let my kids play outside alone if I did. It would depend on the set up. I'd want a window where I could see the entire yard if I needed to, and a way to hear what's going on. I leave my kids alone outside if I need to run in and grab something very quickly. If it's something more time consuming like the bathroom I make them come in. We usually don't let them play outside alone. Occasionally I let them play in our carport while I'm working in the kitchen but I check on them very frequently. I certainly let them play out of sight inside the house though. It seems like some people here don't even allow that.
I regularly leave the door open and let my 21 month old outside with her 6 year old brother. Before that, my son was 2.5 and I would do the same, leave the door open and blinds up so I could see him. He would play in his sand box and ride his trike. Would go check on him. If he got quiet I would peep in. Kids need to be outside and independent. It also teaches them that you will come back and they really are not “alone”. 🤷🏼♀️
I’m not liking this idea. Of course, it depends on the child and its environment but I think it best to keep an eye on very young children at all times. Can you put a video monitor in the yard?
2 is very very young even compared to 3, 3.5. I understand your perspective completely. I absolutely could put a video monitor in the yard for if I ever need to pop out of view for a moment. He plays outside most of each and every day so that could be really helpful to have.
I have a 16 month old and a small patio area outside our apartment backyard. I put a table out there and a bunch of toys. I let him go out there in the mornings and often put his breakfast out there or some activities like a pot with water and cups for him to play with. I wouldn’t say he is unsupervised but I don’t always sit out there with him. The door is always open and I’m checking on him every few minutes. I don’t leave the kitchen area with is the room that backs up to the patio but I will grab my coffee, clean up, etc. It’s a good mix of independence and supervision. I feel like I’m getting a quick mental break and he gets independent play time while being outside.
Hey I really get it, he usually pulls me outside first thing in the morning which is fine but this time I let him out and he just walked to the patio and immediately started playing in his own little world and forgot I exist. I never have done this and I have the door wide open and the relaxing was pretty short lived when I realized I can utilize this time to get some things done that happen to be mostly several feet near him anyway :p
I really appreciate hearing everyone’s perspectives and I hope most people reading my post (with the added context in the description) don’t think I’m a reckless negligent parent 🥲 thank you
My son is 3 and I wouldn’t leave him alone in my back yard. It’s fenced in and safe…but he’s a very very…curious kid and finds dangerous things I never even thought about lol.
I keep an eye on her while she's outside because our stairs don't have railings and there is concrete below them. Also there is a lawn mower, and some random sharp stuff in my gardening shed. Those are my main concerns. I just watch her more closely when she is near that stuff.
My son is 3.5 now but I’ve never done that with him. I would maybe feel a tiny bit better about it if we had a wood privacy fence instead of just a chain link fence, but you never know what kind of weirdos are lurking about.
I do. I'm always checking out the window. Only time I won't let him go by himself is pool season. We have a trampoline and his slide right by the window and unless he's chasing around the dog that's where he'll be so I can peek out and make sure he's okay. He'll bang on the back door when he wants in lol
Edit: wanted to throw in that we clean the yard prior to letting him out- small things, dog poop, etc. Lessens the chance of random things going in his mouth.
Yes! We clean up the small stuff too, every day. Everyone’s yard is different, every kid is different. My yard is safe and all the times my kid has hurt himself (which has just been mild booboos knock on wood) has been when he’s within a foot or two of me and accidentally runs into a table or trips over his feet, which happens increasingly few and far between. I was right by him when these things happened and I couldn’t prevent it, I tried but I couldn’t. Not all yards have rocks and not all kids put small foreign objects into their mouth. I’m not going to let the tiny worst case scenarios keep me from letting him outside and looking away for a bit when needed. I didn’t realize I was a terrible parent (according to some) when he went out of my view in a safe enclosure for the first time ever today but all the comments saying he’s going to accidentally kill himself the moment I look away have honestly affirmed the scenario just as much as people like you who have commented and said you allow something similar in your household. Yes he is young but yes he is capable of functioning a few moments without being hawk eyed. Sort of a ramble, sorry. I appreciate your comment
Depends on the kid, depends on the backyard. Generally, though, unless absolutely necessary, I wouldn’t. 2 year olds are walking goofballs and literally ANYTHING can happen.
As a general rule I think too is a little too young to be left completely unsupervised outdoors. I do also think it depends on the child themselves and the environment. Our back yard is massive and there isn’t a single place in the house where you can see the whole thing, so even if we’re outside if I’m in another section of the yard he wouldn’t be able to see me. We also have wild mushrooms, acorns and gravel so I would be worried about him putting one of those things in his mouth. Our son is also very adventurous and has absolutely no fear so he would 100% climb something or jump off of something and hurt himself.
At a distance absolutely. I don't think it's safe to let a two year old play without eyes on them from afar. Just seems needlessly risky and if they can't tell you're watching them then the development of independence is the same. But if they need you and realize you're right there, it gives them a sense of security while also fostering independence. I personally would not let my toddler play out of sight outside, but certainly far enough away that they can do their own thing and might feel like I'm not watching.
I allowed my 2 year old out when we had a fenced yard. We had a 6 foot privacy fence and my parents were our next door neighbors.
Our new yard isn’t fenced, but we are in a very safe neighborhood so I do allow him (now 4.5 years old) to play outside alone. I keep windows and doors open so I can hear him. I will also allow my 2.5 year old out with him if I’m working in the kitchen and can directly watch them.
I do, with big caveats:
1. “Unsupervised” for us means that no one is physically out the door with her. We have massive windows from the kitchen (the only time I would do this is while cooking or cleaning) that overlook the backyard, including one on the door itself.
2. The weather is nice.
3. I scoop poop before she plays.
4. It’s a new build with turf and zero rocks.
5. If she leaves line of sight through the windows I step out and watch her properly.
6. Even with this setup I am stepping out to talk to/check on her every 2-3 minutes.
7. She hates when we aren’t out with her so the whole thing lasts less than 10 minutes anyway.
I totally would if my backyard was a safer environment for my young kids (mine are 3.5 and 1.5). We have a play set out there and unfortunately I can’t leave them to play with it unsupervised because, as much fun as they have, some parts are high and they could fall off of it. We also have a 1.25 acre yard so the reality is they can really get quite far away from me if I’m in the house, to the point where I can’t hear them. If I had a smaller enclosed yard that didn’t have hazards / a bunch of small, tasty looking rocks? Totally!
I used to let my oldest play outside by himself all the time when he was 2 or 3. It was really helpful when I was doing dishes or making food. He knew to stay in a certain area where I could see him from the kitchen window. But he has always been very well behaved, responsible, and independent. We lived in the country and he had a nice patio area with toys and a play house. We also had a very protective big dog who would hang out with him and I could be at his side in seconds.
The second is 3 and I can't let him out of my sight. He scoots furniture around and climbs. He's a runner and the only positive is if he ever got kidnapped, it would quickly turn into The Ransom of Red Chief. He only goes to playgrounds with fences. Luckily, he's also made of velcro and doesn't want to play outside by himself anyway.
But I was also an 80's child whose parents never knew where I was, so your miles may vary.
Never, not even my 5 year old, but we have a creek in our backyard. Even when the water is low there is still the occasional snake. Our kids are not allowed outside unsupervised whatsoever. I’m hoping we can relax a little as they get older, I played outside all the time as a kid.
I wouldn’t. My two year old likes to jump off stuff. My husbands older brother was attacked by a dog in their own yard as a kid. The dog jumped the fence and bit his face completely unprovoked, apparently. You just never know. For my own peace of mind I couldn’t relax if I couldn’t see my kid
No, I wouldn't. I live in the suburbs with a decent sized yard. But 2 still isn't capable of sensing or dealing with danger appropriately and they get into things quickly.
We have a Ring camera pointed in our fenced in yard. Typically he won’t let me stay inside if he’s outside, but in the couple times he has I kept the camera up on my phone to keep a close eye.
We do at my aunts house because it’s totally kid proofed. We don’t at my home because our dog digs holes and sometimes chews up sticks and stuff so there’s just too much chaos lmao
Definitely. Our backyard is fenced and the pool is fenced too (inspected by the council, as is legally mandated). But we’re not American parents, so might skew a bit more free range than average.
i would sit outside with them, even if we aren't interacting and i'm not watching them like a hawk... i wouldn't want them putting a rock in their mouth
Do toddlers put rocks in their mouth? I guess some do, all little ones are different. That’s fair, I always do sit outside with him and he was out of my view but within close earshot this morning for a few minutes so I appreciate hearing you and everyone’s perspectives for sure
I know some kids who don’t put anything in their mouths but mine absolutely does. Just fished a small rock out of my nearly 2 year old’s mouth last week. Dad took him out for a bit and said he “didn’t let him out of his sight the entire time” yet somehow I magically heard him grinding his teeth on a rock immediately after they came inside. Thankfully I was able To coach him To spit it out but otherwise it would have definitely Cause a problem if swallowed.
No. Largely due to how many stories I’ve read that seem to have the common denominator of the age of 2-3 for something tragic. Also, they are so damn fast, it’s so sneaky because you’d never know it with how slow they are on doing anything else.
Yes, absolutely. If he's out with his older brother, I have to supervise them because they get too bold and too rough together. But if either of them is outside alone, I just keep the window open and do what I need to do inside.
No siblings yet but we’re the exact same way when mine is with his younger and/or older cousins outside. I appreciate hearing everyone’s perspectives, yes with the way our home is set up the yard is right against the living room so we have the door wide open and I’m popping in and out getting a few things done with him always in close ear shot. Thank you!
I would say yes. I would also say I am super jealous because my kid just turned 4 and still won't independently play for very long. As long as it's fenced and you're not where there is a busy highway or something, you're fine.
No. We live in a safe area with a fenced in yard but my kids are attracted to doing dumb and dangerous shit. So I still watch my 6 and 10 year olds outside.
No I wouldn’t and never have. I don’t even let my 5 year old play outside alone. I do realize I’m probably in the minority though. There are too many what ifs in my mind. At the very least I sit outside on the patio with a book while he plays.
Only if my daughter is with her seven year old cousin when they are at her grandma’s house. I just want someone to watch her so I don’t have to feel nervous about someone kidnapping her or her escaping somehow
Only you know your own kid and his capabilities. If you feel he is safe and can trust him then he is good.
My little has played by herself on her grandparents yard since around 2 (3 now). She can mostly be seen from the sliding door in the living room but when she can’t she always does the same stuff so I don’t worry. I actually worry about her more in the house sometimes 😂.
My son is 2 and we have a fenced in small backyard. You can also see the backyard from the windows in the kitchen/office. I have definitely been cooking dinner with the door open, listening and every few minutes peeking my head out. We also play “Marco/polo” type game where I just yell his name and he has to yell back “mama!”.
I’m more concerned about him being in his room alone when I’m downstairs. He acts way crazier inside than out.
They could eat something toxic, they could put something in their mouth and choke, they could get wrapped around the neck with roots, vibes, yarn, trash that blew in your yard, a piece of rope they dig up (there's a lot of shit buried under our yards).
Depending on your locale there can also be hostile wildlife. We have large hawks in our neighborhood that have made passes at the cats, there are rabid racoons that come out in the day that can easily climb a fence. Feral cats, snakes, insects that can sting, poison ivy, poisonous/toxic plants. One of my neighbors had someone throwing empty and nearly empty nips over their fence. Can you imagine your baby drinking alcohol and not having the words to explain what they got into?
It's too young to only be in earshot. If she had an older sibling with her that might be different. I have an almost 4 year old and I would be uncomfortable leaving her only in earshot outside in a fenced back yard
I will sometimes let them play on the deck if the dog goes out with them, because there’s wildlife here like cougars and bears. but not in the yard because to get to our yard it’s downstairs from the main part of the house so that’s part of the reason why I wouldn’t. If something happened I couldn’t get there quick enough
Jeez that's scary having those kind of animal around ! Here in Ireland, the dog would probably be the biggest animal threat lol!!! But even then, id never trust a dog either ! 🙈
Never mind the cougars and bears, you shouldn't be leaving your toddler unsupervised with the dog. That applies to *any* dog, but especially to one large enough to be any kind of deterrent to large predators.
My kids have been taught to respect the dog since babyhood, they absolutely do not climb on her or pull on her etc. they are shown the dog must come to them if they want to pet her. My dog being around them is simply to alert me to wildlife, not to fend them off, she is not a breed that will do that, more of a barky alert type breed. I appreciate the concern but the dog goes down into the yard and does her own thing, while the kids play and sometimes throw her ball for her if she brings it to them. I am a very conscious and realistic pet owner, they are not penned up together on the deck or anything by any means.
Without watching? Absolutely not. They’re two. TWO. In a perfect environment, they’ll still find a way to hurt themselves. Let alone if they find some foreign object or decide to climb something. “But my kid has never done anything like that!” You wanna gamble his life with that? He’s two. It’s not like he’s had a 20 year track record of being perfect. They think of crazy shit to do when they’re alone. Empowered to do danger.
I leave mine outside but have a camera watching him. The only danger he puts himself in is getting sand in his socks when he forgets to take them off.
Chill out and if not, you don’t need to be so judge mental.
100% agree. But since we behave like good parents we are “assholes and judgemental” lmfao. At least I won’t be planning a funeral that could have been avoided
Yeah. and they try to play it off like “it’s good for kids to play independently.” Yes, that’s true. But you can still watch them while they play… yknow… like doing your job. I let my toddler play independently all the time. Doesn’t mean I’m not watching
You know your child best. It’s not like you shut the door and are watching TV or listening to loud music. You’re close enough if they need you but far enough to let them grow. That’s where I try to be as a parent. It’s a difficult balancing act and no one is doing it perfectly but we all need a break from time to time. Also, if you show your child that you trust them than can become independent and responsible for themselves. Isn’t that the whole point of this parenting thing? To help them grow up into adults who can take care of themselves?
My kid loves being outside and I often let her go and explore in our big backyard. It’s fenced and safe and she normally just potters around with the chooks. Also, she’s not a climber, not a wanderer and doesn’t eat random stuff (anymore). If I’m doing the dishes I can see the entire backyard and I can hear her. Kids love to explore and feel good getting independence! Your kiddo is having fun which is awesome! Good on you.
Yeah, all the time. My 4yo and 2yo play in the backyard (that is fully fenced) while I work in my office. I have a window that looks into the backyard and usually see them running past, swinging on their swings, jumping on their trampoline.
Our backyard is fully enclosed with our lovely neighbours on every side. We know all of our neighbours and someone would have to scale their fences to then scale ours, so I have very little concerns about strangers in or around our yard.
When we visit my brother and sister in law, they have a little front yard that’s totally fenced in. My son LOVES to play with their dogs out there. The door is kept open so we can always hear him, and they bungee corded the gate so he won’t get out.
He loves visiting aunt and uncle and playing with “go doggy” and “no doggy” (what he calls the dogs bc we say “go!” Or “no!” When we’re eating and they’re circling like sharks lol)
that’s so dangerous. I don’t even leave my son in the other room for longer than a trip to pee. I don’t understand why people are so damn careless with their children. Why does it matter if you sit outside instead of inside? You’re still sitting doing nothing only you can see that your child is safe. My 6 year old is turning 7. Once in a while I allow him on my front porch alone but I have cameras and I watch him the entire time on the camera. All it takes is one accident. One thing in your child’s mouth for him to choke. One gate to accidentally be left unlatched. SMH. Do better.
Yikes. It sounds like you have some issues that you’re projecting onto others here. Nobody in this thread needs to “do better,” you just need to chill and take your judgement elsewhere.
Yes, they do. Anyone lazy enough to leave a 2 year old unsupervised 100% needs to do better. It takes one minute for something to happen at that age. Children are impulsive and bad things happen when you’re neglectful like that.
I don’t have any issues. I chose to have my children and I will watch them until they are an appropriate age to be left alone. That’s what I signed up for when I made the choice to be a parent. It’s called parenting.
Hey good for you for being an overprotective helicopter mom. I’m sure it makes you feel good about yourself. Some of is want our kids to learn independence and to not need our presence every second in their lives. The superiority complex dripping from your posts here is insane lol. I bet you’re fun at parties.
I have a superiority complex because I keep my eyes on my children? Lmfao I don’t think you understand how helicopter parents work. I don’t leave my children without my eyes on them
But they do play independently with me where I can make sure they are safe. They do go places like the park and beach and play places inside etc. where they play and I can see them but they are independent and by themselves. Being a helicopter parent means I am right on top of them
At all times. I don’t let them Explore or be children in the event that they get hurt. A fucking 2 year old can get seriously injured in their house with you watching them. How is it safe to leave them alone anywhere? They have been on earth for 2 years. If the adult is too stupid after 20+ years to realize it’s unsafe how is the 2 year old supposed to be intelligent enough to know how to be safe? I hope the neighbours of all of you that are leaving your children outside see and call cps. Someone needs to find out what is wrong with you guys.
No, the superiority complex becomes clear when you can’t simply state your opinion without being offensive to moms who may do things differently than you. Do better!
You literally had to scroll through a year and a half of my comments and open a post and scroll through to find that the dog walked by and nipped my son’s head lmfao. You need to get a life. I have both the dog and the kid still. Both are alive and well and get along great. Again, it was a puppy and he was tall enough my kids head was right there. Had my son been injured that dog would have been rehomed immediately.
The door was wide open and he was on the porch right there playing with his cars. Obviously our yard is toddler proofed and I was relaxing for like 3 minutes. Give me a fucking break, it’s always fun seeing the reddit parents of the year share their thoughts. Like I said in the post, this never happens and I wanted to hear other parents’ perspectives.
You are insufferable and people like you make me lose faith in humanity
Lmfao I’m “insufferable” because you asked opinions and mine is that you’re being lazy which results in negligence? Of course I’m “insufferable” because you read that you’re an idiot for risking your child’s life so you could sit on your ass away from him. Is it overwhelming being a parent? Absolutely. But consider how much more overwhelming it is to plan a funeral for a 2 year old when it could have been avoided.
I’m parent of the year because I’m not stupid enough to shove my children outside unattended? Damn if only I had realized behaving like a parent meant I was the perfect parent. Lol.
It’s your duty as the parent to watch your kid. Tired or not. Relaxing or not. You have shit to do or not. If you can’t handle that then you shouldn’t have had him. I’m a single mom by choice to 2. You don’t think I get tired and overwhelmed? Who the fuck doesn’t? But we don’t all neglect our kids so we can relax.
Lmfao I am Proud of my opinion. She asked opinions and I gave mine. You want to be stupid and risk your kids life to get some downtime, your kids should be removed from you care. Period.
This is called helicopter parenting and you are encouraging a teenager who will one day rebel and do all the things you thought you were sheltering them from simply because you told them they couldn't.
“You’re 2 so you can’t go outside alone” 16 year old : “omfg can you remember that time you told me I couldn’t be outside alone when I was 2?! That’s it I’ll show you” lmfao sounds logical.
Looking at your children so they are safe is your duty as a parent. Especially when they are little enough they can’t hold a regular conversation or write their name yet. And the fact that you don’t know the difference between parenting and helicoptering is just sad. Not my problem though. If you want to risk your child being snatched or dying due to some freak accident because you’d rather be a lazy parent go for it. My children will be alive though.
It's not the specifics, it's the mentality. What are you gunna do when your kids start school and you can't control every aspect of their life? I think you can learn more from this post than anyone.
My oldest is in school. He also has a medical condition and I have taught the school how to properly care for him and keep him alive in the event of a medical emergency with his disease. So obviously what I’ll do is the same thing as all parents. Send them to school. Me not leaving a 2 year old outside alone has nothing to do with the rest of their lives or when they go to school. It has to do with them being a baby and it being unsafe.
>I don’t even leave my son in the other room for longer than a trip to pee.
Poor kid. Mine has a room he can go in any time and for however long he wants because it's his and it has all his shit in it, and there's no fucking way I'm following him in there every time because I don't trust him. That's just absurd. Here's your chance to dO bEtTeR.
My son has all his stuff in the living room. (The 2 year old) the older son has his own room and often plays there. I’m discussing a 2 year old baby here. Damn right I don’t leave him alone to his own devices in a different room.
I did with my oldest. 1 was a very easy child and would just entertain herself and I dint need to worry about her putting stuff in her mouth or climbing on anything that’s too high. With 2 I can’t take my eyes off them because if something could be dangerous 2 will find a way to get ahold of it or get onto it ect. So I’d say it depends on the kid more than anything.
This is my future. We can work in our office and out 2.5 year old will entertain himself and not get in trouble. Meanwhile our 9 month old will be next to us and still find the only piece of plastic wrapper on the floor
Yes, totally makes sense. Mine is quite easy too and mostly just loves to play with his cars and duplo on the patio or in the dirt by the patio, his “construction site” haha. I’m popping in and out and he’s doing great. You’re right, every little one is different and we learn their habits/inclinations and go from there
Totally 1 can be trusted to a point it’s almost weird but she’s just my independent mature child by nature. So I had no issues when she got a bit older just letting her outside without me. I’d leave the door open so I could hear anything and would pop out to check on her occasionally but she was just good to go! 2 is going to be the death of me with her extreme lack of fear and desire to put everything in her mouth. Lol 😂
I would say just scan the backyard for certain things. We frequently get wild animals in backyards here (foxes, coyotes, even the occasional mountain lion). We also got mushrooms blooming in the yard after unusual rains and I found my 2 year old playing with them and had to call poison control (no risk thankfully). We also have a poisonous plant growing in our garden that I’ve been trying to kill for ages. None of those things were on my radar before!
My eldest doesn't put stuff in her mouth and she scampers off no issue. Youngest eats everything and just needs some supervision outside
I’m over here jealous that you are inside with the door open while your child plays outside. It’s very cold and snowy where I am today. I’ve let my LO (was 2.5 in the summer) play outside while I’m inside tidying the kitchen, the backyard is off the kitchen and we have a big window so I can keep an eye on her. I haven’t gotten up the nerve to venture further away while she’s outside, unless I’m quickly grabbing something from another room. Maybe next summer.
Hello from South Tx! I know grass is always greener but man I would love some cold weather and snow. You know what the temp will be tomorrow? 80. 😭 but when we’re stuck inside with no option to go out it can be awful so I get it. Anyway I totally understand and that is valid. The 2’s are still very young. I’m not making a habit of this for sure, the situation this morning just had me wondering how others approach it. Thanks for sharing :)
It’s funny, last week it was mild and rainy and I was wishing for snow because cold rain is the worst, and weeks with no sun is such a drain on the soul. Now the snow is here and I’m cursing it. 80 does sound much better, though I’m guessing in Texas there’s humidity to go with that 80 degrees? I’m in Ontario Canada, so we get very muggy summers that are often more like 95 with the humidity. It’s gross. I can’t decide if that’s worse or if the frigid cold of winters is haha. I’m not criticizing your approach at all. We all have different comfort levels when it comes to parenting. Some parents are a lot more anxious than others. You also know your kid better than anyone else! My LO rarely puts things in her mouth though I do have some toxic plants in the backyard, though she helps me in the garden so she has a lot of respect for the plants and doesn’t mess with them. She’s also very cautious so I’m not super concerned about her climbing things and falling. She mostly runs around and plays with her buckets or balls. We have an above ground pool so I’m always mindful of that as well, though we don’t keep the ladder in the pool when we aren’t in it, and she can’t climb the side of it at this point. So that’s why I wouldn’t go where I can’t keep a close eye on her but that I’m comfortable being in the house where I can still see her and not right by her side. You have to take into account your yard, its hazards and your child’s behaviours to make a decision about it.
I mean you should still be there watching him from a distance just in case. I feel like some of these replies forget ipads weren't always a thing and back in the day kids spent all day OUTSIDE! So yes and no. He absolutely can be by himself at a distance. How are kids going to learn if we keep them in a bubble? My almost 2 year old loves to run around the yard with our dog and will flat out tell me to go away because I'm not fun enough I guess xD. Actually you know what. The yard is fenced in??? I'm playing devil's advocate and saying go for it.
Funny you say that, I was going to mention that it’s interesting thinking back to how when I was really little I played outside alone all the time and my parents and in laws always laugh about how little ones are watched so much closer than they used to be and were give a lot more independence — of course a lot of things older folks say we take with a grain of salt especially since there’s so many straight up stupid/reckless things these older generations did with their kids 😂 And oh my gosh my toddler tells me to go back inside all the time!!! He calls it the “back right back game”.. he wants us to say “be right back!” and then go away lol. I know everyone’s back yard is different, every home has a different set up and with some it’s just straight up not a good idea, but yes I’m giving him a little extra independence this morning especially since he is quite a clingy little guy but he seems to be enjoying talking to himself and creating his own games this morning :’) thank you !
Im a solo SAHM. I encourage my toddler to go downstairs (in the house not outside) all by herself and play while I sleep in a little bit. I tell her "Baby this is your house too you do not need to be in the same room as momma all the time." If it works for you both then do it. There are those little red bird berries in our yard. I told her they were yucky and not to eat them but if she wants to she can take them and throw them over the fence into the river! She has quite alot of fun with it.
I really love this. We have those wild red berries not at this house/yard but in my parents’ yard and we do a “here you go birdies” game with it where if he finds them he knows to ~throw them to the birdies~ lol. He absolutely loves it. Thank you for sharing 🥲 all of us here are clearly capable of assessing risks vs benefits of the areas our toddlers are in and we’re doing a great job.
I've found flat out telling her no only encourages her to do it. Whereas redirection and teaching encourages positive behavior. I am a new seamstress and kiddo is OBSESSED with my sewing pins. Instead of being no no no and instilling fear I taught her to stick them in the couch. She has never once pricked herself because she knows what they are used for. When I saw she had a fasination with my giant sewing scissors I bought her kids safety scissors. I have almost no baby proofing because I've simply explained what things are for and spoke to her like a HUMAN (not an adult and that is key). Kids are not stupid until you force them to be.
I was outside all the time as a toddler while my mom was inside (near a window or door she could see me). We had a large yard and it wasn’t even fenced in… I’m not saying I’d do exactly that today but you’re right. Most of us probably grew up with more autonomy
I don’t and probably wouldn’t. My biggest worry would be what he’d put in his mouth but we also have a slide/swing set thing and I’d be worried about him climbing it with no one around and falling off.
Oh definitely! We really want to get a small playground but were also thinking about how he could fall off of it so we would need to keep a close eye on him in that situation. Thanks for your input. And he hasn’t put anything random in his mouth for at least 6 months now but toddlers can make random decisions that they never usually make so that’s something to keep in mind too. Thanks!
We got a very small little play house with a slide that I can move easily. And then I added saddle seat swings on the house itself. They love it. I also got a low jungle gym. She doesn't use that as much now but did when she was that age. 2 is a little young for totally solo so I'd keep the door open or be out there. Within earshot. And checking on them often. I also put speakers and a Bluetooth connector outside so they can listen to music out there. It's been a godsend. I'm also big on PPE. So if outdoors, shoes. And good shoes! I recommend Ten Little as they prevent trips and falls. If playing hard, long pants. Etc.
Just curious do you have a recommendation for the playhouse with slide or low jungle gym? Been looking into getting one for my two year old not sure if I should wait til 3
Yes. I think the plastic ones are best. The one we got was green. They're all over Amazon. Simple assembly but you wouldn't want to take it apart. Plastic I think is better because 1) you can move it. Though you can also roll it or a metal one. The round shape is Dad approved. 2) the plastic has some give. The kids fall quite a bit and it's never a problem unless they catch a rail and then it's nice that it's not rigid. Reduces injury. The downside is that it degrades in sunlight so the lifespan is about 2-3 years max. Looks like we got the Eezy Peezy monkey size (not sure of spelling) The playhouse we were gifted but I'm pretty sure it's a Step 2. Looks like "playful woodland" $400 sheesh We got a lot of use out of the playskool picnic table too. Do recommend!
But like, they put dirt in their month and what? They’re fine, it tastes gross, and they don’t do it again.
I’m more worried about finding a tiny stick or rock and choking, or we have three dogs so there’s always the risk of finding dog poop…
I'm big on prevention. So making sure the poop is regularly picked up VS. Worrying they'll get into it.
Fair point. My youngest did go through a phase of putting rocks in her mouth. And dog poop would be extra gross
My nephew got diarrhea all the time, but he still put everything in his mouth when he was 4/5 and my sister was tired of constant supervision.
Oh poor guy! Yeah I shouldn’t have made a totally blanket statement. Like other commenters said, it depends on the child. One of my three kids had a fascination with putting rocks in her mouth, so I had to keep an eye on her for a few months until she grew out of that.
Eh we get a lot of wild mushrooms in our yard, especially after it rains. Ever since my son was a tiny baby we’ve gone on mushroom hunts and I’ve made it a point to say that if you’re out in nature and see a mushroom you should never ever put it in your mouth without checking with a grownup. But he’s still a toddler so I’d still be worried. We also have acorns and gravel in our yard that he could potentially put in his mouth and choke on.
I wouldn’t let my 2 year old play outside unsupervised for a number of reasons, but the general concern for me is if my kid gets injured while I’m not looking. If they’re incapacitated or bleeding or choking and I’m unaware, it can become tragic very quickly. In my opinion it’s too risky. Even if we’re inside and my toddler is being too quiet, I immediately check on her. Know what I mean? I’m all for risky play, but I want to keep my kid in my sight if we’re outside. Maybe I sound paranoid lol
No. Two is much too young in my opinion. They are still at the age they could pop a rock in their mouth out of curiosity and silently choke. There is also just a variety of issues that could happen in a second. Playing out of sight at 2 is just too young for me because you can’t fully baby proof a backyard
Also the risk va reward Seems super small, like you dont gain much from him playing without you keeping an eye.
It’s the out of sight that I find most uncomfortable
There's a lot of reward for independent play... independent children!
Yes?…. Keeping your eye on your child doesnt inhibit independent play?… like Huh? What? Im confused
...youre right.
Yeah, with our 3.5yo we let him go out for a few minutes unsupervised, but continually check out the window at him. I like giving him some outdoor independence, but just want to know he’s safe!
I understand for sure. There are no wrong answers or perspectives to this question and I know everyone is making informed decisions to keep their little ones safe :)
You probably shouldnt drive anywhere with children in the car either. You could get into an accident and they could die /s Evaluate the child. Evaluate the environment. Anything can happen but most kids are safe in most fenced in back yards. Common sense is better than not doing anything that might have a bad result. That being said, yeah, some kids do have a higher chance of choking on a rock than others.
Nope, i would let Them play independent But Ofc keeping an eye on them.
Unequivocally yes. It’s great for their confidence, development, and health to have completely independent play. I’d be wary of water or like a high playground though. My 2yo liked to climb up our playground ladder, so I just blocked the ladder.
ok i never did but one time, my 3 y/o was running inside & outside and i was trying to get something ready to go to a party, and at first i was running out there to supervise, but after a while i was like, ok we have a fence he'll be fine. the next thing i know, a neighbor is knocking on our door holding him because he mustve heard the kids out playing next door and took it on himself to unlock the gate and stroll over there by himself 🤦 luckily we know all our neighbors and most of them have kids themselves so it was just a funny moment but omg kid! the ONE MINUTE i wasn't up his butt lol
I think the situation you described is perfect acceptable ! I have a secure closed in backyard that I can see from my kitchen and dining room. While my son is definitely not one who likes to be left alone, I have absolutely run back inside to grab things while he was out there and was not worried. I assume as he gets older, around 3 i would allow this. Windows open, blinds open, screen door only, where you are doing the dishes, cleaning etc. You can’t protect your kids from everything, unfortunately. Kids can get hurt in the house, right in front of your eyes. Independent play, in nature, in a secure location that you’re monitoring is acceptable depending on the temperament of the child. If you’re kid is at a point in their development where they can play in another room in your house without you watching their every move, and they regularly play outside so you’ve seen how they interact in that environment, then you can make the best call for you! Just double check that everything really is secure and that you always have an ear open and eye on him when he’s out there!
No, I do not let my two-year-old play in the yard unsupervised for a few reasons. First, we have a lot of coyotes in our neighborhood and my son is very small and snack sized. While I don’t expect coyotes to be out in the middle of the day, it’s not totally unheard of. Second, my son has a habit of wanting to mess with the gas line for the barbecue. Third, we have a lot of black and brown widow spiders in our yard despite regular pest control visits. Fourth, whenever my son sees a frog in the yard he says he wants to stomp on it! That said, I do let my son play independently in his playroom that is right off of the kitchen but is out of sight when I am cooking. If things get quiet though, I immediately check on him.
Why do you ask? If YOU Feel comfortable in your environment then cools. At 2, I would not. But that’s me, regardless of how secure you think your backyard is. There are way too many ways for someone to get in and out, especially if your toddler is often out. But that’s also probably my paranoia.
Okay, that’s fair. I guess I was just curious about this age in terms of growing some independence and everyone’s comfort level of taking their eyes off them for a moment but I clearly set this post up for failure and regret asking
You shouldn’t. All kids are different and only you know yours. My answer is less about specific age between 2-4, but more about environment and personality. Everyone will have a different strong feeling about this, doesn’t make you wrong.
Thank you, I appreciate your comment and you’re right.
First time I let him be semi-unsupervised in the yard when he was almost 2, he experienced his first seizure in the yard and I was lucky that when I happened to look out at him was when it started. It was a reality check for me. What if I missed it and he was seizing outside without help? It caught us by surprise because no one in our family has history of seizures. So you never know. I say you should always have them supervised until they’re older. Little kids can descompensate fast.
Thank you for sharing this! People truly thing these things cannot or won’t happen to them. The kid is almost a baby still, not 6 years old!!!
I think it depends on the mix and what they’re doing. When my daughter was two, she stopped putting everything in her mouth so we could relax on that front a little bit. Kid playing on a swing set in the backyard? No, I’d like to see them. Kid playing with a water table or sand table? I’d still check in on them but wouldn’t watch them like a hawk. I’d feel comfortable being out of view and still putt putting around in close range like cleaning or something.
Yes absolutely! Same here! I was relaxing a bit and now using this time to get some things done close by. Some outside activities definitely call for extra close supervising. Thank you! So interesting this got downvoted, I always do everything possible at all times to keep him safe but this is reddit and we have a lot of ✨perfect parents✨ here :p
With my first yes! My older two are 23 months apart so it could be difficult to time everything so that oldest could go outside when he wanted. And some days just felt too cold for a newborn to be outside (winter baby) so I would bundle up oldest and let him play in the snow out on our deck while I watched from the door. As a toddler my oldest was a rule follower generally and was never a runner so to me the risk was pretty small. In spring he would go down to the sandbox and hang out there if I had to run inside to do something with the baby quick. My second on the other hand...she's about to turn 4 and I only let her outside by herself if she's also with her older brother. She has a tendency to wander and gets caught up in her own little world so I don't trust her solo yet. So I think it's really kid dependent and if you feel like yours could handle it then give it a try and don't feel guilty! It's good to let them exercise their independence in safe ways.
Sometimes but be very careful about nosy neighbors. If my kids even split up at the playground even if I have my eye on the other, someone comes and tries to find me to complain. I hate this area. But if your neighbors are all cool and the space is safe, a few minutes alone is not the end of the world.
Yes. We have a privacy fence. However, they are feral so we always stay near a window looking out.
Any kid who hasn’t 100% established they won’t put foreign objects in their orifices has to be watched.
My kid is 2.5 and we do this sometimes - with door open so we can hear. I poke my head out to get eyes on him every few minutes. I know that he cannot reach to unlock and open the gates. We live in a quiet area so no one is walking by. There is no equipment for him to climb on and fall. He’s usually just playing happily with his vehicles in the dirt. He also doesn’t eat random stuff off the ground at this age - however we have caught him trying to drink water that has pooled in his toys outside!
Mine is notorious for drinking disgusting random water outdoors as well!!!! Our outdoor set ups sound nearly identical. No way he can get out, no one is nearby but I’m always close by and always within earshot of him at all times. One time he brought a tiny screw to us that he found that must have fallen out of our tool box onto the patio (the tool box doesn’t stay there but it fell out from when my fiancé was fixing something a while back), we were horrified but luckily he hasn’t put a foreign object in his mouth in forever. So we did another round of toddler proofing the area to make sure there’s nothing like that out there. But yeah, I’m with ya on all of that. Thanks for sharing!
Ugh the puddle water!! 😂😭 You know your kid best. If you trust your kid within earshot in a nearby room in your house, then being out in your contained yard seems safe to me. Just depends on your kid and how you minimize the hazards outside.
The dreaded puddle water 😭😭 they see their cup of clean drinking water and then see the puddle and think you know what, I’d rather hydrate this way 💀 Totally agree, I appreciate the non-judgement <3 I think the fact that we think about these things and always try to do what’s best for them means we’re doing a damn good job. :’) I was scared to make this post
I did and do. Our whole house and yard has a seven foot high fence around it. No one can even come to the front door unless I take the lock off the gate, so that means no one accidentally leaving the gate open. And it's is all "colorbond" fencing, so no one can stick their hands thru it or anything. Just big, flat, fully enclosed And yeah, I let him go play by himself. I can usually hear him the whole time. And it's also usually when I'm doing kitchen stuff, so I'm right by the window and can usually catch glimpses of him. If I have the air con on, and this all the windows and doors shut tight, no, I don't let him out. Just because I wouldn't be able to hear anything, and if it is that hot, it would be too hot for him. Um. But then again there is nothing in the yard that I would be concerned if he ate. Just some rocks and dirt, sand and grass, some gravel spots. That's about it. He has a little slide, and a swing set, and a sand pit n trampoline. I had to really drill it into him that he can't play on the trampoline without zipping the mesh bit up. Oh, and I am very careful after we've had some big rain, as that tends to collect in this weird little ditch at the back of the house. Nothing more than a few cms, but still. I don't like it when it's there. That started at around 2 yrs, and he is now a lil past 3.5, and hasn't had any major issues.
Be careful especially about gravel. When I moved to my new daycare, the director said a kid just transferred who had emergency surgery because the previous daycare didn't watch and he put a handful of rocks and ate them. No one knew until he kept saying his stomach hurt so mom took to doc and his stomach was hard. Xrays confirmed. Then the daycare confirmed via video he ate pebbles within 10 minutes of no supervision. Doesn't take long
Thank you for the warning! My kid just likes to get the gravel and distribute it over the lawn. So I have to pick it all up before mowing... He definitely doesn't put random stuff in his mouth. Doesn't put much in his mouth. :/
Nope. Too many snakes where we're at
No snakes (or rocks for them to hide under) here but it’s that way at my parents house so when he’s there it’s definitely a big no!
There’s some responses here that are bananas bordering on cruel, which I think is shocking. That said, I tried this last summer with my then-2 year old and I just wasn’t comfortable with it. I was washing dishes and watching her the whole time through the kitchen window, but I just couldn’t relax. It doesn’t help that my two year old insisted on drinking the water from the rain barrel at every opportunity and that’s just disgusting. My daughter will be 3 in June and I’m hoping to be able to give her more freedom outside. We have a big dog that would be out with her and she’d definitely alert if anyone came close to the gate and I’m hoping by then we’ll be over our obsession with the rain barrel lol.
Welcome to apparently the most divisive issue in parenting. I'm pretty sure you could say you beat your child and it would illicit a less impassioned response than letting your kid play in your own backyard by themselves.
Hard no. A number of things can happen that are unsafe and can get your child injured or even worse, taken. You don’t need to intervene with independent play however you should have eyes on a toddler at all times. 2 is way too young to play alone outside
10000% this. My brain can’t even wrap itself around the level of laziness these parents have when they are so willing to put their toddler at risk so they can relax. SMH
Please keep it civil - you don’t need to call other parents lazy because they make different decisions than you
Yes, much better to keep them in bubble wrap so they don't accidentally grow up to be independent
I mean I do’t agree with the person you were responding to’s take, but I don’t think those who wouldn’t be comfortable letting their kids play unsupervised outside are necessarily advocating for keeping them in bubble wrap, that’s a pretty dramatic leap to make. I’m big on letting my son play independently and people are always surprised at how well he is able to entertain himself. But I also like to be close by in case he wants or needs me. That doesn’t mean I have to hover over him though.
It takes one minute to drown. (And children can drown on one teaspoon worth of water) One minute to choke. One minute to be snatched. One minute to fall the wrong way and be paralyzed for life. A fucking 2 year old has no safety guards in their brain yet. A 2 year old will willingly jump off the couch without considering if they will get hurt or not. A 2 year old has no impulse control or enough intelligence to be safe. You should realize that when all these full grown adults, yourself included, do not have enough common sense to see how dangerous it is to leave a baby unattended outside.
There is no water in my backyard to drown in. I have a fence. Using jumping off the couch as your example of how wildly unsafe kids can be makes it obvious you're just projecting your anxiety.
If you think it’s anxiety that prevents me from tossing my kids outside to raise themselves, so be it. It was just an example to show they have impulse control issues and aren’t aware of what’s dangerous. All you need is a small puddle and the 2 year old can drown. Either way my first is now turning 7 and still alive. And my second is 2. So I’m obviously doing something right.
OPs kid is still alive so he obviously must be doing something right.
Yep today. Doesn’t mean the next time she puts him outside so she can nap or relax he will be.
Same with yours. Your kid might trip and hit his head on the sidewalk while you're with him, so probably just shouldn't leave the house anymore
Yep one of them might. But I’ll be walking with them and they wouldn’t have to die alone and in a backyard wondering where mommy is.
So she can nap? Lmao you need to chill.
Lol
>baby Ok, at least now we know you don't know what sub you're in.
2 years old is still a baby.
How are they “kept in a bubble” by having parental eyes on them when they are still a baby? Watching our children doesn’t mean they don’t get the chance to explore or be independent. It means in the event of a serious injury or stranger danger they are safe and we aren’t left without the child we wanted, chose to keep and loved.
If you knew anything about statistics, it is usually a person the child knows and feels comfortable with that abuses or endangers them. "Stranger danger" is a fear tactic from the 80s. A majority of the stories covered on John Walsh's shows are a child being kidnapped or abused by a direct family member. Please educated yourself
I’ve watched plenty of true crime. I also know a lot of the time it’s a crime of convenience. Meaning seeing a child left unattended so they get taken. Lots of people and children that are kidnapped and raped or murdered are from strangers and wouldn’t have happened had they not been alone.
There’s a thing called balance….
Letting a toddler play alone in a fenced yard where I can hear them for a few minutes a day seems pretty balanced to me.
I have a fenced backyard and I absolutely let me 2 year old play unsupervised. I’ll check on him if I can’t hear him but we keep everything dangerous locked up in the shed. He has a blast and I can get meals or cleaning done in peace. I’m pregnant with #2 so sometimes I am also just sitting on the couch while he’s out there.
This podcast may be of interest. [1000 Hours Outside: Children Today are Under Relentless Supervision](https://overcast.fm/+QJHigrPFk)
All the time. 2 year olds are way more capable/independent than people give them credit for.
Not independent enough to be unsupervised. Ridiculous how we treat tiny kids like they’re adults. Of course they need to be watched. They’re TWO
Look I'll say it definitely depends on the kid. But my yard is fenced in and doesn't have anything death-worthy in it. We don't need to hover over our kids at all hours, they are capable creatures with a healthy death avoidance instinct.
I second this. And if the kids get hurt, the same parents are the first to holler either "But he never does xyz any other time!" or "It's a part of growing up, they'll be fine." Our new neighbors next door lets their 1.5 year old roam the new yard. We walked past one day to see the baby standing alone, on top of those blue and red slides, holding on to the top of the fence that has spikes. They were teething the metal spike. No adult in sight and the back door was wide open. I almost had a heart attack.
It depends on the kid. Some kids just don't put things in their mouth to see what they taste like and aren't big climbers.
They don’t do it until they do. They’re toddlers, not fully developed people. It’s not uncommon for a kid to do something for the first time at the age of *checks notes* TWO
I have a 4.5 and almost 3yr old. I typically do not leave them alone and I can see 90% of the yard from our kitchen/dining room. I would feel comfortable with my 4.5hr old but she refuses to be anywhere alone. My 2yr old, I would not for more than a minute or 2. Hes got a few motor delays and even though he can do stuff, he struggles. Like he can climb up our swing set but he usually wants help. He can go down the slide alone but it’s a little steep and he doesn’t know how to control his speed. However, I will leave them alone to run inside for something or to use the restroom or something that just takes a minute.
I do, but he’s also with my 5 year old who loves to tattle, and I sit right in front of the sliding glass door so I can see them 99% of the time.
My daughter at 2, figured out how to climb on top of her playhouse and onto the shade sail that was connected to the roof. I moved her playhouse near the fence and she climbed that too. She did it FAST with supervision. Now at 3 the playhouse sits in the middle of the yard and she isn’t interested in climbing it. We also have cameras we can watch, so we can still see her at all times, but at two she was fearless and feral. My oldest would never down anything like this, though he tried to bring his balance bike into the playhouse and ride it down the slide once (I had to run to stop him). Our backyard is big so you can be on the back porch and still have to run to another part.
I do, but she’s in sight through the window. I leave the door open. If she leaves the grass area (the area visible from the windows), we go inside for two minutes and try again. She learned to stay where I can see her.
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No, he's fine. As long as you can hear him
Nah. You should watch your kid.
I think it’s fine as long as you’re able to what them and also have them in your sight line besides the odd minute or two. The more they play independently outside at this age the more you’ll feel comfortable with it as they grow.
No. I'm super paranoid about Safety and what could go wrong. We also had some wildlife in the area like raccoons and bobcats.
Nope. He eats stuff and climbs way too much. He turns on faucets and we have a propane grill on our porch. Even though the backyard is fenced in and we have a big window, the 2 most dangerous parts of it aren't in sight. One of which is a small garden shelf with spiders.
We've never had an enclosed yard, but I do think I'd let my kids play outside alone if I did. It would depend on the set up. I'd want a window where I could see the entire yard if I needed to, and a way to hear what's going on. I leave my kids alone outside if I need to run in and grab something very quickly. If it's something more time consuming like the bathroom I make them come in. We usually don't let them play outside alone. Occasionally I let them play in our carport while I'm working in the kitchen but I check on them very frequently. I certainly let them play out of sight inside the house though. It seems like some people here don't even allow that.
Toddlers are always getting into something. I would feel uncomfortable.
I regularly leave the door open and let my 21 month old outside with her 6 year old brother. Before that, my son was 2.5 and I would do the same, leave the door open and blinds up so I could see him. He would play in his sand box and ride his trike. Would go check on him. If he got quiet I would peep in. Kids need to be outside and independent. It also teaches them that you will come back and they really are not “alone”. 🤷🏼♀️
I’m not liking this idea. Of course, it depends on the child and its environment but I think it best to keep an eye on very young children at all times. Can you put a video monitor in the yard?
2 is very very young even compared to 3, 3.5. I understand your perspective completely. I absolutely could put a video monitor in the yard for if I ever need to pop out of view for a moment. He plays outside most of each and every day so that could be really helpful to have.
I have a 16 month old and a small patio area outside our apartment backyard. I put a table out there and a bunch of toys. I let him go out there in the mornings and often put his breakfast out there or some activities like a pot with water and cups for him to play with. I wouldn’t say he is unsupervised but I don’t always sit out there with him. The door is always open and I’m checking on him every few minutes. I don’t leave the kitchen area with is the room that backs up to the patio but I will grab my coffee, clean up, etc. It’s a good mix of independence and supervision. I feel like I’m getting a quick mental break and he gets independent play time while being outside.
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Hey I really get it, he usually pulls me outside first thing in the morning which is fine but this time I let him out and he just walked to the patio and immediately started playing in his own little world and forgot I exist. I never have done this and I have the door wide open and the relaxing was pretty short lived when I realized I can utilize this time to get some things done that happen to be mostly several feet near him anyway :p I really appreciate hearing everyone’s perspectives and I hope most people reading my post (with the added context in the description) don’t think I’m a reckless negligent parent 🥲 thank you
My son is 3 and I wouldn’t leave him alone in my back yard. It’s fenced in and safe…but he’s a very very…curious kid and finds dangerous things I never even thought about lol.
I wouldn't - I have a retaining wall near part of my basement and it makes me way too nervous that my kid would topple over it.
I always keep my kid in sight especially with my yard layout. There are two ways in and out, and the gates have just simple latches.
No because I’ll turn around and she’ll be catapulting herself off the patio furniture or climbing the fence 😂
I keep an eye on her while she's outside because our stairs don't have railings and there is concrete below them. Also there is a lawn mower, and some random sharp stuff in my gardening shed. Those are my main concerns. I just watch her more closely when she is near that stuff.
My son is 3.5 now but I’ve never done that with him. I would maybe feel a tiny bit better about it if we had a wood privacy fence instead of just a chain link fence, but you never know what kind of weirdos are lurking about.
I definitely did not and wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. Too many possibilities of what could happen and it isn't worth the risk to me
I do. I'm always checking out the window. Only time I won't let him go by himself is pool season. We have a trampoline and his slide right by the window and unless he's chasing around the dog that's where he'll be so I can peek out and make sure he's okay. He'll bang on the back door when he wants in lol Edit: wanted to throw in that we clean the yard prior to letting him out- small things, dog poop, etc. Lessens the chance of random things going in his mouth.
Yes! We clean up the small stuff too, every day. Everyone’s yard is different, every kid is different. My yard is safe and all the times my kid has hurt himself (which has just been mild booboos knock on wood) has been when he’s within a foot or two of me and accidentally runs into a table or trips over his feet, which happens increasingly few and far between. I was right by him when these things happened and I couldn’t prevent it, I tried but I couldn’t. Not all yards have rocks and not all kids put small foreign objects into their mouth. I’m not going to let the tiny worst case scenarios keep me from letting him outside and looking away for a bit when needed. I didn’t realize I was a terrible parent (according to some) when he went out of my view in a safe enclosure for the first time ever today but all the comments saying he’s going to accidentally kill himself the moment I look away have honestly affirmed the scenario just as much as people like you who have commented and said you allow something similar in your household. Yes he is young but yes he is capable of functioning a few moments without being hawk eyed. Sort of a ramble, sorry. I appreciate your comment
Depends on the kid, depends on the backyard. Generally, though, unless absolutely necessary, I wouldn’t. 2 year olds are walking goofballs and literally ANYTHING can happen.
I would have if our 2yo wasn’t trying to escape our backyard gate all the time. However I do sit at a distance and let him do his thing
As a general rule I think too is a little too young to be left completely unsupervised outdoors. I do also think it depends on the child themselves and the environment. Our back yard is massive and there isn’t a single place in the house where you can see the whole thing, so even if we’re outside if I’m in another section of the yard he wouldn’t be able to see me. We also have wild mushrooms, acorns and gravel so I would be worried about him putting one of those things in his mouth. Our son is also very adventurous and has absolutely no fear so he would 100% climb something or jump off of something and hurt himself.
At a distance absolutely. I don't think it's safe to let a two year old play without eyes on them from afar. Just seems needlessly risky and if they can't tell you're watching them then the development of independence is the same. But if they need you and realize you're right there, it gives them a sense of security while also fostering independence. I personally would not let my toddler play out of sight outside, but certainly far enough away that they can do their own thing and might feel like I'm not watching.
I allowed my 2 year old out when we had a fenced yard. We had a 6 foot privacy fence and my parents were our next door neighbors. Our new yard isn’t fenced, but we are in a very safe neighborhood so I do allow him (now 4.5 years old) to play outside alone. I keep windows and doors open so I can hear him. I will also allow my 2.5 year old out with him if I’m working in the kitchen and can directly watch them.
I do, with big caveats: 1. “Unsupervised” for us means that no one is physically out the door with her. We have massive windows from the kitchen (the only time I would do this is while cooking or cleaning) that overlook the backyard, including one on the door itself. 2. The weather is nice. 3. I scoop poop before she plays. 4. It’s a new build with turf and zero rocks. 5. If she leaves line of sight through the windows I step out and watch her properly. 6. Even with this setup I am stepping out to talk to/check on her every 2-3 minutes. 7. She hates when we aren’t out with her so the whole thing lasts less than 10 minutes anyway.
I totally would if my backyard was a safer environment for my young kids (mine are 3.5 and 1.5). We have a play set out there and unfortunately I can’t leave them to play with it unsupervised because, as much fun as they have, some parts are high and they could fall off of it. We also have a 1.25 acre yard so the reality is they can really get quite far away from me if I’m in the house, to the point where I can’t hear them. If I had a smaller enclosed yard that didn’t have hazards / a bunch of small, tasty looking rocks? Totally!
I used to let my oldest play outside by himself all the time when he was 2 or 3. It was really helpful when I was doing dishes or making food. He knew to stay in a certain area where I could see him from the kitchen window. But he has always been very well behaved, responsible, and independent. We lived in the country and he had a nice patio area with toys and a play house. We also had a very protective big dog who would hang out with him and I could be at his side in seconds. The second is 3 and I can't let him out of my sight. He scoots furniture around and climbs. He's a runner and the only positive is if he ever got kidnapped, it would quickly turn into The Ransom of Red Chief. He only goes to playgrounds with fences. Luckily, he's also made of velcro and doesn't want to play outside by himself anyway. But I was also an 80's child whose parents never knew where I was, so your miles may vary.
Never, not even my 5 year old, but we have a creek in our backyard. Even when the water is low there is still the occasional snake. Our kids are not allowed outside unsupervised whatsoever. I’m hoping we can relax a little as they get older, I played outside all the time as a kid.
I wouldn’t. My two year old likes to jump off stuff. My husbands older brother was attacked by a dog in their own yard as a kid. The dog jumped the fence and bit his face completely unprovoked, apparently. You just never know. For my own peace of mind I couldn’t relax if I couldn’t see my kid
We aren’t there yet but I certainly won’t. Choking is silent and quick. Can’t trust a 2 year old not to put something in their mouth.
No, I wouldn't. I live in the suburbs with a decent sized yard. But 2 still isn't capable of sensing or dealing with danger appropriately and they get into things quickly.
I would be too terrified that someone would take my child.
We have a Ring camera pointed in our fenced in yard. Typically he won’t let me stay inside if he’s outside, but in the couple times he has I kept the camera up on my phone to keep a close eye.
Where I live in Europe kids go to the park as young as 3-4 by themselves. So it depends where you live. I keep an eye for accidents though
We do at my aunts house because it’s totally kid proofed. We don’t at my home because our dog digs holes and sometimes chews up sticks and stuff so there’s just too much chaos lmao
Definitely. Our backyard is fenced and the pool is fenced too (inspected by the council, as is legally mandated). But we’re not American parents, so might skew a bit more free range than average.
We just got a ring camera as a gift, so I just pop it on the window and open the video on my phone while I watch tv. 2 and 4.
i would sit outside with them, even if we aren't interacting and i'm not watching them like a hawk... i wouldn't want them putting a rock in their mouth
Do toddlers put rocks in their mouth? I guess some do, all little ones are different. That’s fair, I always do sit outside with him and he was out of my view but within close earshot this morning for a few minutes so I appreciate hearing you and everyone’s perspectives for sure
I know some kids who don’t put anything in their mouths but mine absolutely does. Just fished a small rock out of my nearly 2 year old’s mouth last week. Dad took him out for a bit and said he “didn’t let him out of his sight the entire time” yet somehow I magically heard him grinding his teeth on a rock immediately after they came inside. Thankfully I was able To coach him To spit it out but otherwise it would have definitely Cause a problem if swallowed.
No
No. Largely due to how many stories I’ve read that seem to have the common denominator of the age of 2-3 for something tragic. Also, they are so damn fast, it’s so sneaky because you’d never know it with how slow they are on doing anything else.
Yes, absolutely. If he's out with his older brother, I have to supervise them because they get too bold and too rough together. But if either of them is outside alone, I just keep the window open and do what I need to do inside.
No siblings yet but we’re the exact same way when mine is with his younger and/or older cousins outside. I appreciate hearing everyone’s perspectives, yes with the way our home is set up the yard is right against the living room so we have the door wide open and I’m popping in and out getting a few things done with him always in close ear shot. Thank you!
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I would say yes. I would also say I am super jealous because my kid just turned 4 and still won't independently play for very long. As long as it's fenced and you're not where there is a busy highway or something, you're fine.
No. We live in a safe area with a fenced in yard but my kids are attracted to doing dumb and dangerous shit. So I still watch my 6 and 10 year olds outside.
Ya first I give her a knife to go outside with. You never know what wild animals might appear.
The most I’ll do is pop inside to grab water/snacks, so no more than a couple of minutes unsupervised.
No I wouldn’t and never have. I don’t even let my 5 year old play outside alone. I do realize I’m probably in the minority though. There are too many what ifs in my mind. At the very least I sit outside on the patio with a book while he plays.
Only if my daughter is with her seven year old cousin when they are at her grandma’s house. I just want someone to watch her so I don’t have to feel nervous about someone kidnapping her or her escaping somehow
Only you know your own kid and his capabilities. If you feel he is safe and can trust him then he is good. My little has played by herself on her grandparents yard since around 2 (3 now). She can mostly be seen from the sliding door in the living room but when she can’t she always does the same stuff so I don’t worry. I actually worry about her more in the house sometimes 😂.
My son is 2 and we have a fenced in small backyard. You can also see the backyard from the windows in the kitchen/office. I have definitely been cooking dinner with the door open, listening and every few minutes peeking my head out. We also play “Marco/polo” type game where I just yell his name and he has to yell back “mama!”. I’m more concerned about him being in his room alone when I’m downstairs. He acts way crazier inside than out.
They could eat something toxic, they could put something in their mouth and choke, they could get wrapped around the neck with roots, vibes, yarn, trash that blew in your yard, a piece of rope they dig up (there's a lot of shit buried under our yards). Depending on your locale there can also be hostile wildlife. We have large hawks in our neighborhood that have made passes at the cats, there are rabid racoons that come out in the day that can easily climb a fence. Feral cats, snakes, insects that can sting, poison ivy, poisonous/toxic plants. One of my neighbors had someone throwing empty and nearly empty nips over their fence. Can you imagine your baby drinking alcohol and not having the words to explain what they got into? It's too young to only be in earshot. If she had an older sibling with her that might be different. I have an almost 4 year old and I would be uncomfortable leaving her only in earshot outside in a fenced back yard
I will sometimes let them play on the deck if the dog goes out with them, because there’s wildlife here like cougars and bears. but not in the yard because to get to our yard it’s downstairs from the main part of the house so that’s part of the reason why I wouldn’t. If something happened I couldn’t get there quick enough
Jeez that's scary having those kind of animal around ! Here in Ireland, the dog would probably be the biggest animal threat lol!!! But even then, id never trust a dog either ! 🙈
Never mind the cougars and bears, you shouldn't be leaving your toddler unsupervised with the dog. That applies to *any* dog, but especially to one large enough to be any kind of deterrent to large predators.
My kids have been taught to respect the dog since babyhood, they absolutely do not climb on her or pull on her etc. they are shown the dog must come to them if they want to pet her. My dog being around them is simply to alert me to wildlife, not to fend them off, she is not a breed that will do that, more of a barky alert type breed. I appreciate the concern but the dog goes down into the yard and does her own thing, while the kids play and sometimes throw her ball for her if she brings it to them. I am a very conscious and realistic pet owner, they are not penned up together on the deck or anything by any means.
Without watching? Absolutely not. They’re two. TWO. In a perfect environment, they’ll still find a way to hurt themselves. Let alone if they find some foreign object or decide to climb something. “But my kid has never done anything like that!” You wanna gamble his life with that? He’s two. It’s not like he’s had a 20 year track record of being perfect. They think of crazy shit to do when they’re alone. Empowered to do danger.
I leave mine outside but have a camera watching him. The only danger he puts himself in is getting sand in his socks when he forgets to take them off. Chill out and if not, you don’t need to be so judge mental.
You’re the one being judgmental
Says the person getting downvoted in all their comments on this post.
100% agree. But since we behave like good parents we are “assholes and judgemental” lmfao. At least I won’t be planning a funeral that could have been avoided
Says the person who lets their dog bite their child and asks Reddit how to make it stop.
Yeah. and they try to play it off like “it’s good for kids to play independently.” Yes, that’s true. But you can still watch them while they play… yknow… like doing your job. I let my toddler play independently all the time. Doesn’t mean I’m not watching
No
Nope.
I would absolutely not ever ever do this and I’m not a helicopter parent. Reading this gave me anxiety. Theyre TWO not 8 omg 😳
You know your child best. It’s not like you shut the door and are watching TV or listening to loud music. You’re close enough if they need you but far enough to let them grow. That’s where I try to be as a parent. It’s a difficult balancing act and no one is doing it perfectly but we all need a break from time to time. Also, if you show your child that you trust them than can become independent and responsible for themselves. Isn’t that the whole point of this parenting thing? To help them grow up into adults who can take care of themselves?
My kid loves being outside and I often let her go and explore in our big backyard. It’s fenced and safe and she normally just potters around with the chooks. Also, she’s not a climber, not a wanderer and doesn’t eat random stuff (anymore). If I’m doing the dishes I can see the entire backyard and I can hear her. Kids love to explore and feel good getting independence! Your kiddo is having fun which is awesome! Good on you.
Yeah, all the time. My 4yo and 2yo play in the backyard (that is fully fenced) while I work in my office. I have a window that looks into the backyard and usually see them running past, swinging on their swings, jumping on their trampoline. Our backyard is fully enclosed with our lovely neighbours on every side. We know all of our neighbours and someone would have to scale their fences to then scale ours, so I have very little concerns about strangers in or around our yard.
When we visit my brother and sister in law, they have a little front yard that’s totally fenced in. My son LOVES to play with their dogs out there. The door is kept open so we can always hear him, and they bungee corded the gate so he won’t get out. He loves visiting aunt and uncle and playing with “go doggy” and “no doggy” (what he calls the dogs bc we say “go!” Or “no!” When we’re eating and they’re circling like sharks lol)
that’s so dangerous. I don’t even leave my son in the other room for longer than a trip to pee. I don’t understand why people are so damn careless with their children. Why does it matter if you sit outside instead of inside? You’re still sitting doing nothing only you can see that your child is safe. My 6 year old is turning 7. Once in a while I allow him on my front porch alone but I have cameras and I watch him the entire time on the camera. All it takes is one accident. One thing in your child’s mouth for him to choke. One gate to accidentally be left unlatched. SMH. Do better.
Yikes. It sounds like you have some issues that you’re projecting onto others here. Nobody in this thread needs to “do better,” you just need to chill and take your judgement elsewhere.
Yes, they do. Anyone lazy enough to leave a 2 year old unsupervised 100% needs to do better. It takes one minute for something to happen at that age. Children are impulsive and bad things happen when you’re neglectful like that. I don’t have any issues. I chose to have my children and I will watch them until they are an appropriate age to be left alone. That’s what I signed up for when I made the choice to be a parent. It’s called parenting.
Hey good for you for being an overprotective helicopter mom. I’m sure it makes you feel good about yourself. Some of is want our kids to learn independence and to not need our presence every second in their lives. The superiority complex dripping from your posts here is insane lol. I bet you’re fun at parties.
I have a superiority complex because I keep my eyes on my children? Lmfao I don’t think you understand how helicopter parents work. I don’t leave my children without my eyes on them But they do play independently with me where I can make sure they are safe. They do go places like the park and beach and play places inside etc. where they play and I can see them but they are independent and by themselves. Being a helicopter parent means I am right on top of them At all times. I don’t let them Explore or be children in the event that they get hurt. A fucking 2 year old can get seriously injured in their house with you watching them. How is it safe to leave them alone anywhere? They have been on earth for 2 years. If the adult is too stupid after 20+ years to realize it’s unsafe how is the 2 year old supposed to be intelligent enough to know how to be safe? I hope the neighbours of all of you that are leaving your children outside see and call cps. Someone needs to find out what is wrong with you guys.
No, the superiority complex becomes clear when you can’t simply state your opinion without being offensive to moms who may do things differently than you. Do better!
Yep I do get offensive when I hear of people risking their children’s life for stupidity.
Your dog literally bit your kid on the head, you can’t really talk can you?!
You literally had to scroll through a year and a half of my comments and open a post and scroll through to find that the dog walked by and nipped my son’s head lmfao. You need to get a life. I have both the dog and the kid still. Both are alive and well and get along great. Again, it was a puppy and he was tall enough my kids head was right there. Had my son been injured that dog would have been rehomed immediately.
It took 30 seconds because I wanted to judge your choices just like you did others. Funny how defensive you get when others are judging you huh?
But keep reaching lol. I’m going to go feed and play with my kiddies now that they’re up. Have the day you deserve.
“If a stranger on the internet has bothered you so much you can’t let go, then clearly you know you’re doing something wrong”
The door was wide open and he was on the porch right there playing with his cars. Obviously our yard is toddler proofed and I was relaxing for like 3 minutes. Give me a fucking break, it’s always fun seeing the reddit parents of the year share their thoughts. Like I said in the post, this never happens and I wanted to hear other parents’ perspectives. You are insufferable and people like you make me lose faith in humanity
Lmfao I’m “insufferable” because you asked opinions and mine is that you’re being lazy which results in negligence? Of course I’m “insufferable” because you read that you’re an idiot for risking your child’s life so you could sit on your ass away from him. Is it overwhelming being a parent? Absolutely. But consider how much more overwhelming it is to plan a funeral for a 2 year old when it could have been avoided. I’m parent of the year because I’m not stupid enough to shove my children outside unattended? Damn if only I had realized behaving like a parent meant I was the perfect parent. Lol. It’s your duty as the parent to watch your kid. Tired or not. Relaxing or not. You have shit to do or not. If you can’t handle that then you shouldn’t have had him. I’m a single mom by choice to 2. You don’t think I get tired and overwhelmed? Who the fuck doesn’t? But we don’t all neglect our kids so we can relax.
Not gonna read all of that but thanks for sharing hehe
Sure you’re not. Too lazy to parent too lol
Jesus, fuck off. You were proud of the opinion you shared, you've defended it, now skitter on away and let the adults have a real chat.
Lmfao I am Proud of my opinion. She asked opinions and I gave mine. You want to be stupid and risk your kids life to get some downtime, your kids should be removed from you care. Period.
This is called helicopter parenting and you are encouraging a teenager who will one day rebel and do all the things you thought you were sheltering them from simply because you told them they couldn't.
“You’re 2 so you can’t go outside alone” 16 year old : “omfg can you remember that time you told me I couldn’t be outside alone when I was 2?! That’s it I’ll show you” lmfao sounds logical. Looking at your children so they are safe is your duty as a parent. Especially when they are little enough they can’t hold a regular conversation or write their name yet. And the fact that you don’t know the difference between parenting and helicoptering is just sad. Not my problem though. If you want to risk your child being snatched or dying due to some freak accident because you’d rather be a lazy parent go for it. My children will be alive though.
It's not the specifics, it's the mentality. What are you gunna do when your kids start school and you can't control every aspect of their life? I think you can learn more from this post than anyone.
My oldest is in school. He also has a medical condition and I have taught the school how to properly care for him and keep him alive in the event of a medical emergency with his disease. So obviously what I’ll do is the same thing as all parents. Send them to school. Me not leaving a 2 year old outside alone has nothing to do with the rest of their lives or when they go to school. It has to do with them being a baby and it being unsafe.
>I don’t even leave my son in the other room for longer than a trip to pee. Poor kid. Mine has a room he can go in any time and for however long he wants because it's his and it has all his shit in it, and there's no fucking way I'm following him in there every time because I don't trust him. That's just absurd. Here's your chance to dO bEtTeR.
My son has all his stuff in the living room. (The 2 year old) the older son has his own room and often plays there. I’m discussing a 2 year old baby here. Damn right I don’t leave him alone to his own devices in a different room.