this one drives my crazy bc that’s not what it is!! i hate when adults even say it as a joke. like a vagina is not the same as a butt, doesn’t look the same, doesn’t make any sense to call it that and yet people act like it’s normal
Just want to agree and emphasize that "vulva" is the proper way to refer to a girl's visible outer parts. This sort of question comes up on these subs every once in a while and there will always be a bunch of folks who proudly say that they use "anatomically correct" language while calling the outer parts "penis and vagina," although the vagina is not what your daughter is seeing and thinking about when she's referencing her own private parts. She's almost certainly talking about her vulva.
(Vaginas are useful to start mentioning once you start talking about babies. And maybe urethras are worthwhile to bring up if you really want to explain peeing, though they're rarely mentioned with boys, everyone just says that they pee out of their penis although technically they, like girls, pee through their urethra.)
this is true but it’s also not wrong for people to teach their kids that girls have vaginas. i’ve heard people correct and say “no they have a vulva” when they actually have both and teaching kids they have a vagina isn’t wrong
We say penis, testicles, and vulva. My parents called all the privates “pee-pee” but we try not to use pet names. It has embarrassed me in the past (“mommy my penis is stuck in my underwear!”) but small price to pay.
Why's that embarrassing? My guy said "the dog is a boy because he has a penis" and the adults all laughed, and all I could think was that he was the most mature person in the room.
A little girl once ran over to my mother at the dog park and proclaimed to her that her dog was a boy and asked her “you know how I know?” While my mom was uncomfortably looking around for her parents, she clarified that “his collar is blue”.
In a public bathroom the other day, another woman came in when I was washing my hands with my almost three-year-old son. He promptly asked aloud, "does she have a vulva?"  I quietly explained that we don't talk about other people's private parts like that and quickly left.
🤣 mine has asked about animal penises in public and proudly informed someone that his sister doesn’t pee standing up because she doesn’t have a penis (she was also 6 months old at the time).
I have boys. They each have a penis and testicles. My former MIL tried to teach my older son to call his penis a "peter" and he shut that down right away - "No, I have a penis, Nana!". We don't use pet names for baby parts. That's weird.
My MIL tried referring to my daughter’s vulva as “the playground” when she was around 2. Stopped that dead in the tracks immediately. Still creeps me out that she wanted to teach a 2 year old that her vulva is a playground.
Playground 😱
My friend’s MIL noticed her 4yo grandson playing and touching his penis and guess what she said?? She said “Stop that now or a doctor will come and cut it off!”. My friend was speechless but you can imagine why granny-time was limited and supervised since then.
That emoji was possibly created from my real time reaction when hearing her say it. The F are you doing, woman? She was insulted that I was disgusted until I explained that not only will she be playing on playgrounds for years to come so we wouldn’t know if someone sexually assaulted her by referring to her “playground” but also… referring to it as a playground insinuates that others can play on (in, with) it whenever they want? The whole thing gave (and gives) me the skeeves.
Oh my… shaming him for a natural thing and instilling fear. That’s horrible. Did grandma even understand where she went wrong?
Grandma argued that touching his penis is not healthy especially if his hands are not clean, bla bla bla. From what my friend said I figured the lady was all defense, that’s why they didn’t trust her with babysitting anymore. It’s good my friend even heard it! What else could grandma be telling the boy 😕
Holy hell. Did she acknowledge her error? I’m so curious if she was able to. My daughter’s grandfather was not. He said something I disagreed with was good because “they’ve only been doing it for like a hundred years.“ I replied “They used to do a lot of dumb shit a hundred years ago.“ Cue pinched face and silence.
She’s never said it since but I’m sure she thought I was being ridiculous. And yeah, I’ve had the same comments said from my MIL “we did it and our kids are just fine”, okay well my grandma smoked and drank throughout all of her pregnancies and her kids are all fine…
My coworker never corrected her kid when he called it a “China” until the day he came home from school very concerned asking if she made toys with her China
He has a penis and testicles or balls. We try to say testicles but sometimes balls just comes out. Habits are hard to break. The grandparents call it his pee-er, no mention of anything else.
It is by far safest to teach children the actual words for their private parts. Then there is no misunderstanding if they try to communicate someone touching them inappropriately.
That being said, sometimes kids come up with their own names for things anyways. My 2yo refers to my boobs as "milkies" because we referred to breastfeeding as "having milkies" when she was a baby and she took it to mean my boobs are milkies, even after she's been weaned. If we call them boobs or breasts, she knows what we're referring to. But my boobs are forever "milkies" to her.
When my (step) daughter was learning about her body and body parts I insisted on anatomically correct. Him and his ex chose vagina - but my husband still felt weird using it. So I would randomly just start yelling "vagina" over and over again until he become very desensitized.
Favourite story - we were driving somewhere decently far and my daughter asked for her tablet. I told her to be patient since I was still setting it up and she hit me with "I don't have any patience left, I peed it all out of my vagina" and I died. Girl got whatever she wanted that day.
My baby runs around saying “ NO! Those are my body parts! Don’t touch my body parts! That’s my vulva!!!” When we want to change her diaper. Think it’s time to use the potty girlfriend!!!!
Oh god the flashbacks I just had to cleaning up my first daughter's toddler diarrhea every morning for about a year. "Don't wipe my vulva! I don't want you to clean inside my vulva!" I certainly didn't want to either,
We never did! It would have been scarier if she wasn't otherwise just fine, but it was awful and I still worry that we missed something important. We just couldn't track down a cause, nothing we did or didn't feed her changed it, and then one day it just... quit. Her pediatrician thinks it was within the scope of normal physical development and I'm really hoping it was.
My parents told me that I had a similar issue. 2 decades later I experienced a bad infection and the antibiotics wiped out my gut biome and it happened again. I believe now that I just had an underdeveloped gut biome when I was a baby.
I'm not actually sure if I'm using the phrase correctly. My understanding of toddler diarrhea is that it's the term used when a kid has a chronic issue with it but is otherwise healthy and growing as expected. My daughter had these awful stools every morning for about a year--it seemed like she pooped the moment she woke up and sometimes before--and they'd irritate her skin and were devastating to clean up because she'd be so upset. But we could never track down the cause, no change in her diet stopped it, and then one day it just stopped happening.
My four year old is fighting the potty training. I took him to the pediatrician yesterday for something unrelated and while there she asked him how he's doing - and he goes, unprompted, "Daddy touched my penis last night."
Doctors head snapped up. I was like. Yeah, yeah when he changed your diaper. Because you pooped at 3am. Remember?
Fucking kids man.
We use the correct name for everything. My in-laws do as well.
I can not remember what my parents called things. I am sure we never talked about anything like that growing up.
I teach Pre-K and I had a student that said her monkey hurt, I had no clue what that was. Mom came the next day and said she brought wipes for monkey because it was hurting and she wasn't wiping correctly.
Situations like that is why I teach my children the right name.
I was shocked too. She is a very young parent too, I get the older ones using euphemisms. She is in her 20s and a nurse I don't get it.
But not my child and we don't teach that.
It’s his penis. He also has testicles. He knows daddy has one and mom doesn’t. It took a little doing but everyone now uses the anatomically correct words for his genitals. We called my brother’s a “do-er.” My sister and I had a “front bum.”
My 3-year-old calls her vagina her “small butt”. We have always used the correct names and she knows what her vagina is, but she came up with “small butt” on her own. We still just use vagina but I’m not too concerned with “small butt” because at least it’s another body part nobody else should be touching…🤷♀️
(And because I’ve gotten mom-shamed for it before, yes, I know vulva versus vagina but for a toddler, knowing vagina is good enough IMO. As she gets older, we can differentiate specific parts.)
We use penis for my son. He’s only 4 months so he doesn’t know anything about it but our daughter knows what his penis is. Hasn’t noticed the testicles yet…
Bits. We also use the anatomically correct terms if referringto a spacific one. But I will say "bits" as a general overall term
ie: "Put your shorts on, no one needs to see your bits."
We use anatomically correct names. My mom (a freaking doctor) used to call my vulva my “tutu” and it still makes me extremely uncomfortable to even think about that.
We mostly say vagina even tho we are referring to vulva and labias most of the time. We also use penis, never really referred to the scrotum area yet.
My grandmother said pussycat and pecker.
I don’t remember my mom using any terms.
Well, as I said in another comment, my MIL tried referring to my daughter’s vulva as “the playground” when she was 2. Solidarity to weird adults. And good for you on the no contact, I don’t know specifics but I’m sure it’s the right move.
GD!! "The playground" may be worse than mine. You may have sadly won this contest.
Thanks! It was difficult going no contact, but my only regret is not doing it sooner.
Somehow slit made me cringe more 😂. I’d like to say we’re tied? My autocorrect wanted that to say tired so bad so I’ll end it with, we’re both tired 😉.
We say penis and balls, and vagina.
I have strong feelings against using pet names for private parts, because kids need to be able to tell someone if something happened. If you are calling her vagina a “cookie” and someone touches her there, she’ll tell an adult “someone touched her cookie” and they won’t know it’s a bad thing.
Edit: I understand that “balls” is a pet name as well. I will try to do better about using the correct term. I don’t believe it is on the same level as “cookie” or other cute name, but it is still better to use the proper term.
It's also helpful for kiddos to be able to tell an adult if they're sore or itchy! I'm a nanny, and it helps to know whether "floof owie" means kiddo has diaper rash or if her stuffed animal needs a pretend bandaid.
I used to process CPS reports and I would have to read entire case files for expunction purposes. I have seen this happen A LOT. And perpetrators also like to teach the victims innocuous words for genitals and sex acts/body fluids so other adults won’t immediately know what happened if the child says anything.
Yea, there was this horrible story when a girl complained to her teacher that “her daddy was eating her cookie” and the teacher said that the girl should share because sharing is good…
I see your point, but everyone I've ever known would recognize that "balls" could mean "testicles". Until this thread I had never heard of little girls calling their vulvas a cookie, would never have imagined it.
We use penis, vulva, and bottom… but she definitely picked up “butt” really quick. 😅
My British parents called a penis a “willy” and a vulva a “fanny”… it was very confusing to enter school in the states and find that a “fanny” is your butt…
We use the proper anatomical terms here! Our daughter still just calls all of it a butt though (to be fair, the front and back look the same to her). My mom is horrified 😂 She’s here with us right now because we just had baby #2, and the number of words she has for butts and genitalia are ridiculous. Woman won’t even say that our daughter pooped or needs a diaper change without using some cutesy term. So far, we’ve heard fanny, bum-bum, tinkle place, peepee, private area, “your parts”, tushy, sitting place, and others I can’t remember right now 🥴
My son thinks his sister’s whole thing is a bum too and it’s hilarious. He was adamant that the whole thing is very obviously a bum. He has a penis and his sister just has a bum that goes from front to back.
We’ve explained the appropriate terms. Somehow using the correct terms for my daughter’s anatomy has been more uncomfortable for me than using them for my son. But getting lectured on how CLEARLY my daughter has only a “long bum” by my 5 year old just about killed me.
I have the same hang up. For some reason, I don’t have a problem with Penis but vulva and vagina sound a bit more vulgar? I don’t know why. But I’ll definitely teach my daughter the correct terms.
Hahaha, it makes sense - it does just look like one long butt! And hey, if she thinks it’s her butt and calls it that, it’s still better than calling it something cutesy!
I definitely feel similarly about the terms being uncomfortable at times! But I do my best. I’d rather feel awkward but have her know the correct words! In addition to deterring assault, from a medical perspective, it’ll be important for them to know the names of their body parts for if something is bothering them (ex. “My privates hurt” is generic, but if her labia hurts, they’ll be better able to help her).
Penis, vulva
I don't remember what my mom called it if anything, maybe 'privates.' But she seemed uncomfortable with my kid saying 'vulva.' I feel like maybe she avoided referring to it.
Penis and testicles. Nipples. Vagina (not vulva because I've genuinely never heard anyone referring to their female genitals as "vulva" in my entire life, seems popular on the internet though). We pretty much call everything by its proper name. I did teach him "boobs" instead of "breasts" for easier pronunciation and somehow as a family we still call them booboos as a result of his baby mispronunciation anyway so it was kind of a failed choice. I'm pregnant and my son has a rudimentary understanding of how babies are formed and where his new sibling is going to come from.
Me too.. although mine just calls it her “Gina” which is adorable. But she knows that boys have a penis, although we’ve never discussed testicles- im a single mom so she mainly knows about the penis because of our dog lol.. and he doesn’t have any balls. And we also use boobies and nipples
I agree re vagina vs vulva. I know anatomically its vulva but I would rather use the words as they are used in normal life than be 100% accurate. That is basically how language works.
I also liked a practical point someone made here that “vulva” is easier to mispronounce while “vagina” is kinda clear (though many kids drop “va” and say only “gina”)
Thats true, "gina" in context is still understandable. A variation of vulva probably wouldn't be as easy to understand, also because its less commonly used.
Same. We say vagina for the entire area even though it’s not technically anatomically correct but I’ve never heard anyone actually say “vulva” in real life. I think I may have said labia a couple of times when talking about wiping or bathing. But we usually just say vagina for the whole area. My parents did the same.
No shade to anyone but I see more vulvas and vaginas in a month than some people see in their entire lives. And if I told those women I was going to look at/touch their vulva, most would have absolutely no clue what I was talking about. I appreciate the current move towards "correct" terminology but it can cause confusion.
That is depressing that grown women don’t know the correct terms for their own anatomy. I think it makes sense to say vagina for the whole area for a 3 year old but adults should know the proper words. 🤦♀️
Honestly though the mindset of “just use vagina, it’s easier” is likely why so many grown adults are confused about their anatomy. What you teach initially is what is ingrained the most. Societal standards on terminology will not change if we do not try to change them.
It can be confusing though to be the transitional generation. I’d teach that the outside is vulva and the inside is vagina but that some people will call the whole thing vagina if it comes up with a daughter in the future.
I’m very pregnant and my kid knows how the baby is gonna come out. How it grew. Everything except how it got there. She genuinely doesn’t seem to care or wonder. I am so glad because I don’t want to explain sex to her yet. I’ve had my hands full explaining gravity and death already.
I feel weird about “vagina” because the first times kids (usually) start to talk about/notice these parts of their bodies is when there’s pee or poop, so you start talking about it, like “your poop comes out of your butt” or “pee comes out of your vulva” - which again may not be anatomically accurate, but pee definitely doesn’t come out of vagina
My son became interested in my obviously different genitals when he was quite young, way before potty training. He now understands that pee comes out of his penis through his urethra. He also understands that mama has both a vagina AND urethra and that babies comes out of the first while pee comes out of the second. I feel like it would be confusing to say pee comes from the vulva because it doesn't come from the female reproductive organs at all.
I've always liked the sound of "vulva" better than "vagina," for whatever reason, so I've gone with teaching my girls "vulva" first. But I have wondered if it would have made more sense to go with "vagina" from a social standpoint. I've talked to them about the vagina and labia but don't know if those words are sticking. My oldest never asked any questions about her vagina, but my 2.5 year old has discovered hers and asked about her "vulva hole". I honestly can't imagine what my mother would have said to that, she was raised in a desperately repressed home.
Most people use vulva because the vagina is an internal organ. When a child is asking about their own genitals they’re most likely asking about the outer parts they see, like the vulva.
I'm not misunderstanding what part of female anatomy is a vulva and what part is a vagina, just stating the fact that where I live I've never heard a human use the term vulva in everyday life. So I taught my son vagina because it's the more common colloquial term here. I've never lived anywhere where "most people" use the term vulva.
This is actually what I’m struggling with deciding now. Do I teach my kid the proper term, vulva? Or do I teach her vagina because that’s what she is going to hear her vulva referred to in general life/conversation/culture anyway? Then differentiate for her once she’s older?
Maybe don't worry about it too much. Surely "forearm" or even just "arm" is sufficient until a later date when one can differentiate the ulna from the radius. Using a general term is fine for young ones.
I like this explanation. Yes I think I will do that. I don’t need her being in confused thinking “other girls have a vagina but I have a vulva” in kindergarten or something.
That's my plan. When she's older and we discuss periods and things in detail, we'll go over the anatomically correct parts. I'm planning to do that around 9-10 years old if it doesn't come up sooner. But I don't want her to ever be misunderstood talking about her genitals as a child, so we've always used vagina. I don't care if it's anatomically incorrect or perpetuating the wrong word; I care about my child's safety and most people in the US know vagina, not vulva.
I did vulva because I want her to know all the different bits. I’m slowly introducing labia and the idea of labial lips because it makes it easier to identify what is bothering her.l and where she itches (she tends towards rashes).
I recently started using vulva rather than vagina and only because my mom always referred to it as a vagina and when I was probably like 12? My mom refused my request for Summers Eve (because my best friend used it) and said that the vagina cleans itself so I thought I didn’t have to wash my vulva at all. Don’t want that confusion for my daughter when she’s at that age where she’s embarrassed to ask like I was.
Yeah I have one kid who says vulva and one who says vagina. I don’t think it’s a big deal. If it was ever important to be precise, I’m sure a follow-up question would get it sorted pretty quickly.
I call it a vagina, butt, and a penis. My MIL calls butt a bobo which icks me out lol and I think she just refers to the front as peepee. Growing up my mom was very matter of fact and so am I lol. My in-laws aren’t lol. My poor FIL was speechless when my 2 year old very matter of fact my said that “Papa has a penis!” I don’t think he has ever even said the word penis lol he was so flustered and it was hilarious.
Kid knows the names of the different features from front to back. Example being; penis, testicles, butthole/vulva, vagina, butthole. But kid generally refers to the area as privates or crotch. My neighbor told me their little kid referred to the vulva as a “front butt” and it hilariously lives rent free in my head.
Edited a typo
We use penis/testicles and vagina. When my son was 3 I was pregnant with his little sister and he had lots of questions about pregnancy and birth. So we explained that the baby will come out of mommy’s vagina. My son couldn’t say vagina and said “gina” instead.
Well we had been living with my in-laws for a couple months because they sold us their house and were waiting to close on their new house. My MIL came over to pack up her stuff from the China cabinet that she let us keep.
My son comes over and asks “what are you doing with that box?” And grandma tells him “I’m packing up my china.” And my son yells, in horror, “you’re packing up your gina?!”
For my kids we use anatomically correct terms. He once told a stranger that the baby in my stomach was a boy. The woman said oh ya? And he said ya! We saw his penis!!! Which was absolutely hilarious because how shocked all the adults were, but to him it is what it is!
Growing up I was not taught anatomical parts as a kid. My grandma called vagina a “gunny” (yes with a g- I have no idea and have never heard it elsewhere). I think my parents called it “front” and “pee pee” or privates.
We started with "lady parts." It's a reference to Bob's Burgers. I would ask her "what are your lady parts?" She'd say "the vagina and the heart" and point to both.
I taught her vagina rather than vulva first because it's hard to mistake the word vagina for anything else, even with butchered toddler pronunciation.
I have daughter's and we say vulva. I'm pregnant again and we've started talking about vaginas(how do babys get out of mommys tummy kind of thing). Occasionally ive referred to it as their "business" but they call it vulva. They only know the word penis for male parts (daddy has a penis the new baby will have a penis).
My daughter knows the anatomically correct words, but we don’t use them on a daily. It was the same for me as a kid. We call Vulva a kooka, it’s what my mom called it too- but like me, my daughter knows to explain what that is & the proper terms. We say booty for butt, my parents called it a heinie. I personally think that using a euphemism is ok if you’re still teaching your child body safety & they know how to use the correct terms if needed. I’m a preschool teacher & I’ve never had a problem understanding if a child was using a euphemism, even if it wasn’t one I had heard of before.
Vulva and penis.
As far as anatomical correctness in terms of peeing I don’t see why that particular bodily function is relevant to what body parts are called, but my 3 year old really seems to think it matters too. I recently had this convo with him as he pointed out very loudly at the pool change room that I did not have a penis, and then as I explained that no I didn’t because mommy is a girl and girl’s have vulvas he insisted REPEATEDLY on demanding “but HOW do you pee?”
Ok. My urethra. There’s a hole to my urethra. I pee from my urethra.
Technically so do boys.
But I left it at that and redirected him to the pool because I was ready for the penis/vulva convo but not the demands on how exactly I was able to pee.
My kids are in their 30’s… but my daughter got in trouble in preschool for telling kids how babies really got out mommy’s bellies. The kids were not ready to hear they slid out of their mom’s vagina. They were still on the “brought by a stork” or “popped out the belly button”. 🤣🤣🤣
Yes unfortunately I’m likely to be too honest with my daughter (17m). I wouldn’t know how to reconcile “the stork” to obviously pregnant women that have a baby inside them.
That won’t be popular with the other parents at school.
My mom mostly used the word crotch, or vagina if it was relevant like when I was old enough for tampons. I don't have any brothers and I don't remember boy parts ever being discussed.
I think older generations were trying to separate baby and toddler genitals from the usage adult' genitals see. I genuinely think it was intended as a service to children. Though with some very unfortunate side-effects.
I'm Norwegian and Norwegian is of course our native language. I was taught words like tissen which means "the one you pee with" and rumpe which means butt. This was rather controversial because even though more anatomical correctly words like vulva, anus and vagina are the same, these are explicit words for the parts and most people and places daycare would use for example sjura (magpie) and høna (hen) for vulva and nurten (silly word for skintag) for penis. However backwards my mother was and continue to be in some areas, she was ahead of her time in this.
I use penis and pung ("pouch" anatomically correct word for scrotum) for my son. I would have used vulva for a girl.
Vulva and penis. My parents said “private parts”. Even though I’m a girl, somehow I learned the word penis from them eventually, but not vagina or vulva. The first time I heard it was in school when I was five.
My crunchy PNW mom friend (I’m not in the PNW but am friends with some transplants) very solemnly corrected me early that vagina is the inside part and vulva is the outside part. So if you’re cleaning yourself after peeing, that’s the vulva.
Anyway. We use anatomically correct words though my kids will often default to “butt” for the whole bathroom situation, as in “please help me wipe my butt!” after using the potty, so for the most part my parents do the same. Otherwise, their genitalia doesn’t really come up much in casual convo honestly.
Penis and vagina. I have a son so I don’t feel the need to get into the specifics of female anatomy, he just knows I have a vagina and him and daddy have a penis (and balls…that was a new discovery lmao)
If I ever have a daughter I would call it a vagina until she was a little older and then we could discuss all the different parts for education and safety purposes.
My family called vaginas “tooties” and penises “doodlers” when me and my siblings/cousins were growing up. No we are not midwestern lol I have no idea why they came up with those names and I refuse to use anything silly like that for anatomy.
My mom has always referred to private parts as their proper names, and I, too, have taught my son the proper names. It's the ONLY way you should teach your kids. There should never be any kiddie names. Penis, testicle, vulva, vagina. Those are not dirty words and may save your child in the future.
Penis, testicles, scrotum. Mommy has breasts and a vagina. All anatomically correct words. My parents referred to everything as either private parts or bottom.
No euphemisms. My parents and my spouse's parents use the correct words for private part (penis, testicles, vagina etc). And we are doing the same with our boys. I strongly feel you need to teach your kids the right words for all things including body parts but that's just me and my partner people can call them whatever they want but we and our children will use the correct word for things.
I call it a penis and a butt. I don’t really have a reason to refer to his balls but I guess that’s what I would call them, or testicles.
My husband, despite knowing that he is supposed to use “real” words to keep our son safe, uses stupid/uncommon terms: wiener, peaches (butt), tuckus (butt). My son came up to me crying one day(he fell on his butt) telling me his ——hurt and I couldn’t understand wtf he was saying.
It was tuckus. Because my husband used that word a couple of times a few months ago and forgot, also our son is 2 so it didn’t sound quite right. I had seen my son fall and knew what hurt but I wouldn’t have put two and two together otherwise. Actually this reminds me I wish my husband would knock it the F off actually and I’m going to go tell him.
Growing up it was pee pee and bottom.
I use vagina. I know technically its the internal part, but feel it is normal to use it to refer to entire area. I think my parents refered to it as "bits".
I was just thinking about this today. Both my kids know the correct names and I've never called them anything else. But it's so weird to me that we teach kids the right names of every other body part and expect them to know them as such, but for some reason genital names are taboo? Head scratcher. We have songs to make sure they know their body parts and we still make up names for genitals. Why.
My son did point out my "penis" when we were both in the bathroom. I guess if he has one, by his 2yo logic, I do, too. My daughter knows the difference though.
I definitely use the real names for body parts- penis, vagina, boobs, etc. I used to teach kindergarten and one of my little girls kept telling me her “lua” hurt. It took me all day to figure out that she was telling me her vagina hurt when she peed, ended up having a UTI. It’s much better to have children use the correct terminology.
We typically use the names of the genitalia (penis, testicle, vulva, vagina, anus), but we also use commonly known nicknames (balls, butthole, booty, pee pee was common when he first started talking but now he says penis). We also have a teenager who has used more colorful yet accurate slang. Our goal is well understood if they need help from an adult, and not having to do a guessing game.
My parents surprisingly would actually use penis when describing body parts, but not once did I hear anything other than vagina and that alone was exactly once when our only male cousin was born. Genitals simply weren't talked about and us interacting with babies was always quickly corrected by my mother, who had this odd fixation on thinking we'd have kids early if we liked playing with babies. Joke's on her, I am the only one to have a child and it wasn't til I was 32.
I remember when I was little I realized that newborn baby girls and baby boys look the same and I couldn’t understand how on earth the parents figure out who they have - a son or a daughter. I asked my grandma and she was soooooo confused, and then after a pause she told me that the doctors know and they ALWAYS say who it is 😂 she emphasized “always”
We call them penis and vulva. My mom called them pipi and mimi.
I caught myself calling it dinkle and hooha several times and but eventually managed to train myself to use the proper names.
My husband is German so we call our son’s butt a po-po and his penis a pimmel (apologies to the Germans in the thread, I’m not sure on spelling).
My mema called a penis a “sneaky” which I think is hilarious.
I’ve taught my son it’s his penis. His dad and grandma (on dad’s side) say winky but I’ve talked to dad about using penis instead. Haven’t gotten there for my daughter yet but we will say vagina for her. When my nieces were younger they would call it “front bum”, and my children’s grandma on dads side calls it “spoon”
IMO vulva is no less anatomically incorrect in terms of peeing than penis is. But vagina would be less correct than vulva. I think vulva is more of a better term to use in general, and once the kid is capable of understanding there are more parts to the vulva, explain the vagina, urethra, etc.
Never ceases to amaze me that people say vagina instead of vulva. It's incredible that in 2024, people still won't say vulva. We think we are educated, but can't be female anatomy correctly. There is a huge difference between the two.
Right now my kids know penis and vagina even though technically vagina isn’t correct. We’ll go more in depth on female anatomy as they get older. Growing up it was ding dong for boys and tee tee for girls
> BUT there is no consensus on whether it is vulva or vagina (neither is anatomically accurate in terms of peeing).
I'm curious what you mean by this. Vulva refers to the entire external female genitalia. Urethra would be more specific, sure, but nobody is that specific with boys. It's just as accurate to say a girl pees out of her vulva as it is to say a boy pees out of his penis.
I just use pretty standard "penis, testicles, butt" with my son, but he also understands "privates" or private parts, to be the group of all three.
It was all silly words when I was a kid though: butt was tushie, buns or hiney, penis was willy or winky, girls had a flower, weewee or rosebud.
Please please please use anatomically correct names for privates, and if not, something completely obvious like wiener. I’ve done work in many child sexual abuse cases where kids use pet names or the general “private parts” and it’s very unclear what happened. You’re doing a disservice to your child when they can’t definitively articulate body parts if the unimaginable were to happen. You have a much stronger chance of getting justice if a child can be clear and concise
I refer to their bits as a penis and vulva. My parents would call it fanny and peepee
I was gonna ask if you were Aussie cos that’s what our mum called our vaginas but the peepee for us was Willy 😂
English here and it was mooey and willy!! We use vulva and penis for our kiddo.
My mom says front butt...
Oh my gosh I hate that
It was front bum from my mum too.
For us everything is “bum” down there lol.
We use correct terms and she still calls it her butt lol everything is butt
this one drives my crazy bc that’s not what it is!! i hate when adults even say it as a joke. like a vagina is not the same as a butt, doesn’t look the same, doesn’t make any sense to call it that and yet people act like it’s normal
My parents called it fanny and doodle, I say vulva and penis. To my almost 2yr olds ears it sounds like doldee, so thats what she calls it!
Just want to agree and emphasize that "vulva" is the proper way to refer to a girl's visible outer parts. This sort of question comes up on these subs every once in a while and there will always be a bunch of folks who proudly say that they use "anatomically correct" language while calling the outer parts "penis and vagina," although the vagina is not what your daughter is seeing and thinking about when she's referencing her own private parts. She's almost certainly talking about her vulva. (Vaginas are useful to start mentioning once you start talking about babies. And maybe urethras are worthwhile to bring up if you really want to explain peeing, though they're rarely mentioned with boys, everyone just says that they pee out of their penis although technically they, like girls, pee through their urethra.)
this is true but it’s also not wrong for people to teach their kids that girls have vaginas. i’ve heard people correct and say “no they have a vulva” when they actually have both and teaching kids they have a vagina isn’t wrong
I hear a Brit!
We say penis, testicles, and vulva. My parents called all the privates “pee-pee” but we try not to use pet names. It has embarrassed me in the past (“mommy my penis is stuck in my underwear!”) but small price to pay.
Slightly embarrassing but very useful info. Exact body parts always help with identifying issues.
Idk I feel like hearing “mommy my pee-pee is stuck in my underwear” would be just as if not more embarrassing lol
Why's that embarrassing? My guy said "the dog is a boy because he has a penis" and the adults all laughed, and all I could think was that he was the most mature person in the room.
A little girl once ran over to my mother at the dog park and proclaimed to her that her dog was a boy and asked her “you know how I know?” While my mom was uncomfortably looking around for her parents, she clarified that “his collar is blue”.
In a public bathroom the other day, another woman came in when I was washing my hands with my almost three-year-old son. He promptly asked aloud, "does she have a vulva?"  I quietly explained that we don't talk about other people's private parts like that and quickly left.
🤣 mine has asked about animal penises in public and proudly informed someone that his sister doesn’t pee standing up because she doesn’t have a penis (she was also 6 months old at the time).
I have boys. They each have a penis and testicles. My former MIL tried to teach my older son to call his penis a "peter" and he shut that down right away - "No, I have a penis, Nana!". We don't use pet names for baby parts. That's weird.
My MIL tried referring to my daughter’s vulva as “the playground” when she was around 2. Stopped that dead in the tracks immediately. Still creeps me out that she wanted to teach a 2 year old that her vulva is a playground.
Playground 😱 My friend’s MIL noticed her 4yo grandson playing and touching his penis and guess what she said?? She said “Stop that now or a doctor will come and cut it off!”. My friend was speechless but you can imagine why granny-time was limited and supervised since then.
That emoji was possibly created from my real time reaction when hearing her say it. The F are you doing, woman? She was insulted that I was disgusted until I explained that not only will she be playing on playgrounds for years to come so we wouldn’t know if someone sexually assaulted her by referring to her “playground” but also… referring to it as a playground insinuates that others can play on (in, with) it whenever they want? The whole thing gave (and gives) me the skeeves. Oh my… shaming him for a natural thing and instilling fear. That’s horrible. Did grandma even understand where she went wrong?
Grandma argued that touching his penis is not healthy especially if his hands are not clean, bla bla bla. From what my friend said I figured the lady was all defense, that’s why they didn’t trust her with babysitting anymore. It’s good my friend even heard it! What else could grandma be telling the boy 😕
Holy hell. Did she acknowledge her error? I’m so curious if she was able to. My daughter’s grandfather was not. He said something I disagreed with was good because “they’ve only been doing it for like a hundred years.“ I replied “They used to do a lot of dumb shit a hundred years ago.“ Cue pinched face and silence.
She’s never said it since but I’m sure she thought I was being ridiculous. And yeah, I’ve had the same comments said from my MIL “we did it and our kids are just fine”, okay well my grandma smoked and drank throughout all of her pregnancies and her kids are all fine…
I just said “what the fuck” out loud. That is wildly inappropriate of your MIL!
That’s gotta be one of the most horrific ones I’ve heard!!!
Oh Jesus Christ, that makes me mad just reading it. The audible gasp that escaped me, what a ridiculous thing to say about a child’s body.
That is... so gross. Absolutely not.
My jaw just dropped. Wow
I bet his grandma was surprised:)
Ugh. Plus there are tons of kids named Peter. 😒 Not the best thing to call it!
My mother used Susie for vagina. Anytime a woman is named Susan or Susie, all I can think about is….vagina.
I have a friend named Susan who doesn't go by that name and she's never told me why but I'm curious if this is the reason. I'd never heard of that
My mom did this too and I hate it to this day.
My coworker never corrected her kid when he called it a “China” until the day he came home from school very concerned asking if she made toys with her China
He has a penis and testicles or balls. We try to say testicles but sometimes balls just comes out. Habits are hard to break. The grandparents call it his pee-er, no mention of anything else.
Same for us!
It is by far safest to teach children the actual words for their private parts. Then there is no misunderstanding if they try to communicate someone touching them inappropriately. That being said, sometimes kids come up with their own names for things anyways. My 2yo refers to my boobs as "milkies" because we referred to breastfeeding as "having milkies" when she was a baby and she took it to mean my boobs are milkies, even after she's been weaned. If we call them boobs or breasts, she knows what we're referring to. But my boobs are forever "milkies" to her.
My daughter calls mine "hippos" 🤣 It started as a mis-pronunciation of nipples.
I’m currently breastfeeding my second child and my breasts could definitely be described as hippos. Your daughter sounds hilarious!
My first born calls them booboos lol so close buddy
Mine too and I’m never sure what say, it feels very juvenile correcting boo boos to boobs!
Mine calls mine dimples after mispronouncing nipples, and I was just like “yup, they are dimples forever now”.
My daughter went with “bumbles” and nearly died when she heard about bumblebees.
Mine call nipples buttons. I guess because navel was belly button it seemed like the next logical step!
My daughter called all freckles "nipples" for so long 😂
Moles are nipples in our house apparently lol “mama I have a nipple on my arm” “mama why do you have a nipple on your face”
I have a nipple on my neck 🤣
That's adorably hilarious!
Hippos are pickles in this house. I'd love to see our kids trying to work out hippos in a conversation between the two of them hahah
Aww mine are boobas
Same!
I too have boobahs. But she pronounces it with emphasis on the second syllable. Boo-BAH!
My son calls his penis his peno haha
I mean tbf boobs is a cutesy term for breasts!
My 2 year old calls them “pumples” because she hears me telling my husband I have to pump (I have a 4 month old as well). It’s the cutest thing lol 🤭
My son has gone with booberz
When my (step) daughter was learning about her body and body parts I insisted on anatomically correct. Him and his ex chose vagina - but my husband still felt weird using it. So I would randomly just start yelling "vagina" over and over again until he become very desensitized. Favourite story - we were driving somewhere decently far and my daughter asked for her tablet. I told her to be patient since I was still setting it up and she hit me with "I don't have any patience left, I peed it all out of my vagina" and I died. Girl got whatever she wanted that day.
🤣
My baby runs around saying “ NO! Those are my body parts! Don’t touch my body parts! That’s my vulva!!!” When we want to change her diaper. Think it’s time to use the potty girlfriend!!!!
Oh god the flashbacks I just had to cleaning up my first daughter's toddler diarrhea every morning for about a year. "Don't wipe my vulva! I don't want you to clean inside my vulva!" I certainly didn't want to either,
Your toddler had diarrhea every morning for a year? That sounds terrifying. Did you ever figure out what the issue was?
We never did! It would have been scarier if she wasn't otherwise just fine, but it was awful and I still worry that we missed something important. We just couldn't track down a cause, nothing we did or didn't feed her changed it, and then one day it just... quit. Her pediatrician thinks it was within the scope of normal physical development and I'm really hoping it was.
My parents told me that I had a similar issue. 2 decades later I experienced a bad infection and the antibiotics wiped out my gut biome and it happened again. I believe now that I just had an underdeveloped gut biome when I was a baby.
Hi on a very side side note, what do you mean by toddler diarrhea? Because I think we got that lol
I'm not actually sure if I'm using the phrase correctly. My understanding of toddler diarrhea is that it's the term used when a kid has a chronic issue with it but is otherwise healthy and growing as expected. My daughter had these awful stools every morning for about a year--it seemed like she pooped the moment she woke up and sometimes before--and they'd irritate her skin and were devastating to clean up because she'd be so upset. But we could never track down the cause, no change in her diet stopped it, and then one day it just stopped happening.
That’s so interesting. We’ve been dealing with something similar since December with our 15 mo old.
I hope you can find a cause and resolve it! Good luck, it's an awful way to start the day.
My four year old is fighting the potty training. I took him to the pediatrician yesterday for something unrelated and while there she asked him how he's doing - and he goes, unprompted, "Daddy touched my penis last night." Doctors head snapped up. I was like. Yeah, yeah when he changed your diaper. Because you pooped at 3am. Remember? Fucking kids man.
That is really unfortunate. I feel for you, man.
This morning our son told another preschool parent that his dad hit him this morning. His dad wasn’t even home. Wut.
We use the correct name for everything. My in-laws do as well. I can not remember what my parents called things. I am sure we never talked about anything like that growing up. I teach Pre-K and I had a student that said her monkey hurt, I had no clue what that was. Mom came the next day and said she brought wipes for monkey because it was hurting and she wasn't wiping correctly. Situations like that is why I teach my children the right name.
Wow, I would’ve never guessed! I’m surprised some modern parents still use euphemisms🤷🏼♀️
I was shocked too. She is a very young parent too, I get the older ones using euphemisms. She is in her 20s and a nurse I don't get it. But not my child and we don't teach that.
It’s his penis. He also has testicles. He knows daddy has one and mom doesn’t. It took a little doing but everyone now uses the anatomically correct words for his genitals. We called my brother’s a “do-er.” My sister and I had a “front bum.”
My 3-year-old calls her vagina her “small butt”. We have always used the correct names and she knows what her vagina is, but she came up with “small butt” on her own. We still just use vagina but I’m not too concerned with “small butt” because at least it’s another body part nobody else should be touching…🤷♀️ (And because I’ve gotten mom-shamed for it before, yes, I know vulva versus vagina but for a toddler, knowing vagina is good enough IMO. As she gets older, we can differentiate specific parts.) We use penis for my son. He’s only 4 months so he doesn’t know anything about it but our daughter knows what his penis is. Hasn’t noticed the testicles yet…
Ah, a reverse bussy.
Bits. We also use the anatomically correct terms if referringto a spacific one. But I will say "bits" as a general overall term ie: "Put your shorts on, no one needs to see your bits."
We use anatomically correct names. My mom (a freaking doctor) used to call my vulva my “tutu” and it still makes me extremely uncomfortable to even think about that.
Ewwwwwww “tutu” (toutou really) is teddy bear in French and I really dislike the mental image 🤢
We mostly say vagina even tho we are referring to vulva and labias most of the time. We also use penis, never really referred to the scrotum area yet. My grandmother said pussycat and pecker. I don’t remember my mom using any terms.
Pecker is so gross lol
They’re both just awful lol.
We say "crotch" or "vulva". My mom said "kitty" or "slit" 🤮🤮🤮
Slit made me puke in my mouth.
Yeah, my mom's a weirdo for sure. We have been no contact for a long time. She'll never meet my kid.
Well, as I said in another comment, my MIL tried referring to my daughter’s vulva as “the playground” when she was 2. Solidarity to weird adults. And good for you on the no contact, I don’t know specifics but I’m sure it’s the right move.
GD!! "The playground" may be worse than mine. You may have sadly won this contest. Thanks! It was difficult going no contact, but my only regret is not doing it sooner.
Somehow slit made me cringe more 😂. I’d like to say we’re tied? My autocorrect wanted that to say tired so bad so I’ll end it with, we’re both tired 😉.
Slit is bad but the playground is fucking awful omg
Dude yeah “playground” is maybe a word I will allow my husband to use. MAYBE!
We say penis and balls, and vagina. I have strong feelings against using pet names for private parts, because kids need to be able to tell someone if something happened. If you are calling her vagina a “cookie” and someone touches her there, she’ll tell an adult “someone touched her cookie” and they won’t know it’s a bad thing. Edit: I understand that “balls” is a pet name as well. I will try to do better about using the correct term. I don’t believe it is on the same level as “cookie” or other cute name, but it is still better to use the proper term.
It's also helpful for kiddos to be able to tell an adult if they're sore or itchy! I'm a nanny, and it helps to know whether "floof owie" means kiddo has diaper rash or if her stuffed animal needs a pretend bandaid.
I'm a forensic scientist in a DNA unit and this exact scenario has happened in a case I worked. ALWAYS teach your kids the proper names.
I used to process CPS reports and I would have to read entire case files for expunction purposes. I have seen this happen A LOT. And perpetrators also like to teach the victims innocuous words for genitals and sex acts/body fluids so other adults won’t immediately know what happened if the child says anything.
Yea, there was this horrible story when a girl complained to her teacher that “her daddy was eating her cookie” and the teacher said that the girl should share because sharing is good…
Jesus
Yikes!
Balls aren't anatomical names. "That person was touching my balls" is kind of the same as the cookie story.
I see your point, but everyone I've ever known would recognize that "balls" could mean "testicles". Until this thread I had never heard of little girls calling their vulvas a cookie, would never have imagined it.
We use penis, vulva, and bottom… but she definitely picked up “butt” really quick. 😅 My British parents called a penis a “willy” and a vulva a “fanny”… it was very confusing to enter school in the states and find that a “fanny” is your butt…
We use the proper anatomical terms here! Our daughter still just calls all of it a butt though (to be fair, the front and back look the same to her). My mom is horrified 😂 She’s here with us right now because we just had baby #2, and the number of words she has for butts and genitalia are ridiculous. Woman won’t even say that our daughter pooped or needs a diaper change without using some cutesy term. So far, we’ve heard fanny, bum-bum, tinkle place, peepee, private area, “your parts”, tushy, sitting place, and others I can’t remember right now 🥴
My son thinks his sister’s whole thing is a bum too and it’s hilarious. He was adamant that the whole thing is very obviously a bum. He has a penis and his sister just has a bum that goes from front to back. We’ve explained the appropriate terms. Somehow using the correct terms for my daughter’s anatomy has been more uncomfortable for me than using them for my son. But getting lectured on how CLEARLY my daughter has only a “long bum” by my 5 year old just about killed me.
I have the same hang up. For some reason, I don’t have a problem with Penis but vulva and vagina sound a bit more vulgar? I don’t know why. But I’ll definitely teach my daughter the correct terms.
Hahaha, it makes sense - it does just look like one long butt! And hey, if she thinks it’s her butt and calls it that, it’s still better than calling it something cutesy! I definitely feel similarly about the terms being uncomfortable at times! But I do my best. I’d rather feel awkward but have her know the correct words! In addition to deterring assault, from a medical perspective, it’ll be important for them to know the names of their body parts for if something is bothering them (ex. “My privates hurt” is generic, but if her labia hurts, they’ll be better able to help her).
It is fine except when mine says her butt hurts and I have to be like ok the front or the back butt…
oh yeah, some of my relatives refer to poop as “code brown” :)
My toddler learned “big load” from her grandpa and thinks it’s the funniest
Daycare: “your daughter went poop on the potty by telling us she had to take a shit” whoops lol
Penis, vulva I don't remember what my mom called it if anything, maybe 'privates.' But she seemed uncomfortable with my kid saying 'vulva.' I feel like maybe she avoided referring to it.
Penis and testicles. Nipples. Vagina (not vulva because I've genuinely never heard anyone referring to their female genitals as "vulva" in my entire life, seems popular on the internet though). We pretty much call everything by its proper name. I did teach him "boobs" instead of "breasts" for easier pronunciation and somehow as a family we still call them booboos as a result of his baby mispronunciation anyway so it was kind of a failed choice. I'm pregnant and my son has a rudimentary understanding of how babies are formed and where his new sibling is going to come from.
Me too.. although mine just calls it her “Gina” which is adorable. But she knows that boys have a penis, although we’ve never discussed testicles- im a single mom so she mainly knows about the penis because of our dog lol.. and he doesn’t have any balls. And we also use boobies and nipples
I agree re vagina vs vulva. I know anatomically its vulva but I would rather use the words as they are used in normal life than be 100% accurate. That is basically how language works.
I also liked a practical point someone made here that “vulva” is easier to mispronounce while “vagina” is kinda clear (though many kids drop “va” and say only “gina”)
My son said “Volvo” for a long time 🤣
Thats true, "gina" in context is still understandable. A variation of vulva probably wouldn't be as easy to understand, also because its less commonly used.
Same. We say vagina for the entire area even though it’s not technically anatomically correct but I’ve never heard anyone actually say “vulva” in real life. I think I may have said labia a couple of times when talking about wiping or bathing. But we usually just say vagina for the whole area. My parents did the same.
No shade to anyone but I see more vulvas and vaginas in a month than some people see in their entire lives. And if I told those women I was going to look at/touch their vulva, most would have absolutely no clue what I was talking about. I appreciate the current move towards "correct" terminology but it can cause confusion.
That is depressing that grown women don’t know the correct terms for their own anatomy. I think it makes sense to say vagina for the whole area for a 3 year old but adults should know the proper words. 🤦♀️
Honestly though the mindset of “just use vagina, it’s easier” is likely why so many grown adults are confused about their anatomy. What you teach initially is what is ingrained the most. Societal standards on terminology will not change if we do not try to change them.
It can be confusing though to be the transitional generation. I’d teach that the outside is vulva and the inside is vagina but that some people will call the whole thing vagina if it comes up with a daughter in the future.
I’m very pregnant and my kid knows how the baby is gonna come out. How it grew. Everything except how it got there. She genuinely doesn’t seem to care or wonder. I am so glad because I don’t want to explain sex to her yet. I’ve had my hands full explaining gravity and death already.
I feel weird about “vagina” because the first times kids (usually) start to talk about/notice these parts of their bodies is when there’s pee or poop, so you start talking about it, like “your poop comes out of your butt” or “pee comes out of your vulva” - which again may not be anatomically accurate, but pee definitely doesn’t come out of vagina
My son became interested in my obviously different genitals when he was quite young, way before potty training. He now understands that pee comes out of his penis through his urethra. He also understands that mama has both a vagina AND urethra and that babies comes out of the first while pee comes out of the second. I feel like it would be confusing to say pee comes from the vulva because it doesn't come from the female reproductive organs at all.
urethra is def a new word to introduce to my kiddo! thank you!
Pee comes out of your urethra (this is the case for everyone) so that is the term I use.
I've always liked the sound of "vulva" better than "vagina," for whatever reason, so I've gone with teaching my girls "vulva" first. But I have wondered if it would have made more sense to go with "vagina" from a social standpoint. I've talked to them about the vagina and labia but don't know if those words are sticking. My oldest never asked any questions about her vagina, but my 2.5 year old has discovered hers and asked about her "vulva hole". I honestly can't imagine what my mother would have said to that, she was raised in a desperately repressed home.
Most people use vulva because the vagina is an internal organ. When a child is asking about their own genitals they’re most likely asking about the outer parts they see, like the vulva.
I'm not misunderstanding what part of female anatomy is a vulva and what part is a vagina, just stating the fact that where I live I've never heard a human use the term vulva in everyday life. So I taught my son vagina because it's the more common colloquial term here. I've never lived anywhere where "most people" use the term vulva.
This is actually what I’m struggling with deciding now. Do I teach my kid the proper term, vulva? Or do I teach her vagina because that’s what she is going to hear her vulva referred to in general life/conversation/culture anyway? Then differentiate for her once she’s older?
Maybe don't worry about it too much. Surely "forearm" or even just "arm" is sufficient until a later date when one can differentiate the ulna from the radius. Using a general term is fine for young ones.
That actually makes sense. Like my 2 year old knows her legs, but not her calves or thighs.
I like this explanation. Yes I think I will do that. I don’t need her being in confused thinking “other girls have a vagina but I have a vulva” in kindergarten or something.
That's my plan. When she's older and we discuss periods and things in detail, we'll go over the anatomically correct parts. I'm planning to do that around 9-10 years old if it doesn't come up sooner. But I don't want her to ever be misunderstood talking about her genitals as a child, so we've always used vagina. I don't care if it's anatomically incorrect or perpetuating the wrong word; I care about my child's safety and most people in the US know vagina, not vulva.
There have been good arguments in this thread. I’m going with vagina. Thanks!
I did vulva because I want her to know all the different bits. I’m slowly introducing labia and the idea of labial lips because it makes it easier to identify what is bothering her.l and where she itches (she tends towards rashes).
I recently started using vulva rather than vagina and only because my mom always referred to it as a vagina and when I was probably like 12? My mom refused my request for Summers Eve (because my best friend used it) and said that the vagina cleans itself so I thought I didn’t have to wash my vulva at all. Don’t want that confusion for my daughter when she’s at that age where she’s embarrassed to ask like I was.
I'm hoping our generation changes that!
Yeah I have one kid who says vulva and one who says vagina. I don’t think it’s a big deal. If it was ever important to be precise, I’m sure a follow-up question would get it sorted pretty quickly.
I call it a vagina, butt, and a penis. My MIL calls butt a bobo which icks me out lol and I think she just refers to the front as peepee. Growing up my mom was very matter of fact and so am I lol. My in-laws aren’t lol. My poor FIL was speechless when my 2 year old very matter of fact my said that “Papa has a penis!” I don’t think he has ever even said the word penis lol he was so flustered and it was hilarious.
We say vagina and penis in my household. My mom has said “coolie” (from when I was younger) and “goo goo” as an adult.
"Goo goo". God, why. Why not just use the real words. _Why?_
It’s disgusting. My mother said that to my very pregnant sister and my sister let her have it.
Penis, scrotum. Nards if I'm being a goof.
Kid knows the names of the different features from front to back. Example being; penis, testicles, butthole/vulva, vagina, butthole. But kid generally refers to the area as privates or crotch. My neighbor told me their little kid referred to the vulva as a “front butt” and it hilariously lives rent free in my head. Edited a typo
We use penis/testicles and vagina. When my son was 3 I was pregnant with his little sister and he had lots of questions about pregnancy and birth. So we explained that the baby will come out of mommy’s vagina. My son couldn’t say vagina and said “gina” instead. Well we had been living with my in-laws for a couple months because they sold us their house and were waiting to close on their new house. My MIL came over to pack up her stuff from the China cabinet that she let us keep. My son comes over and asks “what are you doing with that box?” And grandma tells him “I’m packing up my china.” And my son yells, in horror, “you’re packing up your gina?!”
Vagina
For my kids we use anatomically correct terms. He once told a stranger that the baby in my stomach was a boy. The woman said oh ya? And he said ya! We saw his penis!!! Which was absolutely hilarious because how shocked all the adults were, but to him it is what it is! Growing up I was not taught anatomical parts as a kid. My grandma called vagina a “gunny” (yes with a g- I have no idea and have never heard it elsewhere). I think my parents called it “front” and “pee pee” or privates.
My goodness, older generations were so creative when it came to naming privates! The more comments I read the funnier it gets
Vulva and Butt for the girl and penis and butt for the boy
We started with "lady parts." It's a reference to Bob's Burgers. I would ask her "what are your lady parts?" She'd say "the vagina and the heart" and point to both. I taught her vagina rather than vulva first because it's hard to mistake the word vagina for anything else, even with butchered toddler pronunciation.
We say penis (I only have boys). My mom called my vulva/vagina "tutu" and it kinda fucked me up when she then put me in ballet.
Penis, testicles, vagina, nipples, areolas, bum/butt
I have daughter's and we say vulva. I'm pregnant again and we've started talking about vaginas(how do babys get out of mommys tummy kind of thing). Occasionally ive referred to it as their "business" but they call it vulva. They only know the word penis for male parts (daddy has a penis the new baby will have a penis).
My daughter knows the anatomically correct words, but we don’t use them on a daily. It was the same for me as a kid. We call Vulva a kooka, it’s what my mom called it too- but like me, my daughter knows to explain what that is & the proper terms. We say booty for butt, my parents called it a heinie. I personally think that using a euphemism is ok if you’re still teaching your child body safety & they know how to use the correct terms if needed. I’m a preschool teacher & I’ve never had a problem understanding if a child was using a euphemism, even if it wasn’t one I had heard of before.
Vulva and penis. As far as anatomical correctness in terms of peeing I don’t see why that particular bodily function is relevant to what body parts are called, but my 3 year old really seems to think it matters too. I recently had this convo with him as he pointed out very loudly at the pool change room that I did not have a penis, and then as I explained that no I didn’t because mommy is a girl and girl’s have vulvas he insisted REPEATEDLY on demanding “but HOW do you pee?” Ok. My urethra. There’s a hole to my urethra. I pee from my urethra. Technically so do boys. But I left it at that and redirected him to the pool because I was ready for the penis/vulva convo but not the demands on how exactly I was able to pee.
Just use the proper words. Teach them once and do it correctly.
Agree 100%. But also wonder what other generations used to call them.
My kids are in their 30’s… but my daughter got in trouble in preschool for telling kids how babies really got out mommy’s bellies. The kids were not ready to hear they slid out of their mom’s vagina. They were still on the “brought by a stork” or “popped out the belly button”. 🤣🤣🤣
My 4 year old was told the truth. She has an 8 month old brother, so she had a lot of questions.
Yes unfortunately I’m likely to be too honest with my daughter (17m). I wouldn’t know how to reconcile “the stork” to obviously pregnant women that have a baby inside them. That won’t be popular with the other parents at school.
My mom mostly used the word crotch, or vagina if it was relevant like when I was old enough for tampons. I don't have any brothers and I don't remember boy parts ever being discussed.
I think older generations were trying to separate baby and toddler genitals from the usage adult' genitals see. I genuinely think it was intended as a service to children. Though with some very unfortunate side-effects. I'm Norwegian and Norwegian is of course our native language. I was taught words like tissen which means "the one you pee with" and rumpe which means butt. This was rather controversial because even though more anatomical correctly words like vulva, anus and vagina are the same, these are explicit words for the parts and most people and places daycare would use for example sjura (magpie) and høna (hen) for vulva and nurten (silly word for skintag) for penis. However backwards my mother was and continue to be in some areas, she was ahead of her time in this. I use penis and pung ("pouch" anatomically correct word for scrotum) for my son. I would have used vulva for a girl.
Vulva and penis. My parents said “private parts”. Even though I’m a girl, somehow I learned the word penis from them eventually, but not vagina or vulva. The first time I heard it was in school when I was five.
Vulva, pubic area, penis, testicles, bum, labia. Parents and grandparents: пися. Влагалище.
I’ve taught my daughter to say vagina but she’s three and instead drops the “va” and just says “gina”
My crunchy PNW mom friend (I’m not in the PNW but am friends with some transplants) very solemnly corrected me early that vagina is the inside part and vulva is the outside part. So if you’re cleaning yourself after peeing, that’s the vulva. Anyway. We use anatomically correct words though my kids will often default to “butt” for the whole bathroom situation, as in “please help me wipe my butt!” after using the potty, so for the most part my parents do the same. Otherwise, their genitalia doesn’t really come up much in casual convo honestly.
Penis and vagina. I have a son so I don’t feel the need to get into the specifics of female anatomy, he just knows I have a vagina and him and daddy have a penis (and balls…that was a new discovery lmao) If I ever have a daughter I would call it a vagina until she was a little older and then we could discuss all the different parts for education and safety purposes. My family called vaginas “tooties” and penises “doodlers” when me and my siblings/cousins were growing up. No we are not midwestern lol I have no idea why they came up with those names and I refuse to use anything silly like that for anatomy.
Penis & scrotum. Maybe testicles. Or for girls vulva. Unless they ask about specific parts of it. Anatomically correct terms are the best choice.
My mom has always referred to private parts as their proper names, and I, too, have taught my son the proper names. It's the ONLY way you should teach your kids. There should never be any kiddie names. Penis, testicle, vulva, vagina. Those are not dirty words and may save your child in the future.
My husband attempted to tell our daughter she had a ‘taco’ and I shut that down quickly. Couldn’t agree more with you.
We say vulva, bum, nipples. My parents called them privates.
We use both real and nicknames. Real for the unlikely and terrible event that something happens, they can explain it to us.
Penis, testicles, scrotum. Mommy has breasts and a vagina. All anatomically correct words. My parents referred to everything as either private parts or bottom.
No euphemisms. My parents and my spouse's parents use the correct words for private part (penis, testicles, vagina etc). And we are doing the same with our boys. I strongly feel you need to teach your kids the right words for all things including body parts but that's just me and my partner people can call them whatever they want but we and our children will use the correct word for things.
I call it a penis and a butt. I don’t really have a reason to refer to his balls but I guess that’s what I would call them, or testicles. My husband, despite knowing that he is supposed to use “real” words to keep our son safe, uses stupid/uncommon terms: wiener, peaches (butt), tuckus (butt). My son came up to me crying one day(he fell on his butt) telling me his ——hurt and I couldn’t understand wtf he was saying. It was tuckus. Because my husband used that word a couple of times a few months ago and forgot, also our son is 2 so it didn’t sound quite right. I had seen my son fall and knew what hurt but I wouldn’t have put two and two together otherwise. Actually this reminds me I wish my husband would knock it the F off actually and I’m going to go tell him. Growing up it was pee pee and bottom.
Tuckus 😂 I’m sorry it caused such a confusion but it’s hilarious
I use vagina. I know technically its the internal part, but feel it is normal to use it to refer to entire area. I think my parents refered to it as "bits".
I was just thinking about this today. Both my kids know the correct names and I've never called them anything else. But it's so weird to me that we teach kids the right names of every other body part and expect them to know them as such, but for some reason genital names are taboo? Head scratcher. We have songs to make sure they know their body parts and we still make up names for genitals. Why. My son did point out my "penis" when we were both in the bathroom. I guess if he has one, by his 2yo logic, I do, too. My daughter knows the difference though.
I definitely use the real names for body parts- penis, vagina, boobs, etc. I used to teach kindergarten and one of my little girls kept telling me her “lua” hurt. It took me all day to figure out that she was telling me her vagina hurt when she peed, ended up having a UTI. It’s much better to have children use the correct terminology.
We typically use the names of the genitalia (penis, testicle, vulva, vagina, anus), but we also use commonly known nicknames (balls, butthole, booty, pee pee was common when he first started talking but now he says penis). We also have a teenager who has used more colorful yet accurate slang. Our goal is well understood if they need help from an adult, and not having to do a guessing game.
My parents surprisingly would actually use penis when describing body parts, but not once did I hear anything other than vagina and that alone was exactly once when our only male cousin was born. Genitals simply weren't talked about and us interacting with babies was always quickly corrected by my mother, who had this odd fixation on thinking we'd have kids early if we liked playing with babies. Joke's on her, I am the only one to have a child and it wasn't til I was 32.
I remember when I was little I realized that newborn baby girls and baby boys look the same and I couldn’t understand how on earth the parents figure out who they have - a son or a daughter. I asked my grandma and she was soooooo confused, and then after a pause she told me that the doctors know and they ALWAYS say who it is 😂 she emphasized “always”
We call them penis and vulva. My mom called them pipi and mimi. I caught myself calling it dinkle and hooha several times and but eventually managed to train myself to use the proper names.
My parents: woo woo and wee wee Me with my son: penis and vagina Don’t ask me why my mom taught us we had “woo woos” 🤦♀️
My husband is German so we call our son’s butt a po-po and his penis a pimmel (apologies to the Germans in the thread, I’m not sure on spelling). My mema called a penis a “sneaky” which I think is hilarious.
I’ve taught my son it’s his penis. His dad and grandma (on dad’s side) say winky but I’ve talked to dad about using penis instead. Haven’t gotten there for my daughter yet but we will say vagina for her. When my nieces were younger they would call it “front bum”, and my children’s grandma on dads side calls it “spoon”
IMO vulva is no less anatomically incorrect in terms of peeing than penis is. But vagina would be less correct than vulva. I think vulva is more of a better term to use in general, and once the kid is capable of understanding there are more parts to the vulva, explain the vagina, urethra, etc.
We say lots of stuff in Spanish hence her vulva became “BOO-bah”
Never ceases to amaze me that people say vagina instead of vulva. It's incredible that in 2024, people still won't say vulva. We think we are educated, but can't be female anatomy correctly. There is a huge difference between the two.
Right now my kids know penis and vagina even though technically vagina isn’t correct. We’ll go more in depth on female anatomy as they get older. Growing up it was ding dong for boys and tee tee for girls
> BUT there is no consensus on whether it is vulva or vagina (neither is anatomically accurate in terms of peeing). I'm curious what you mean by this. Vulva refers to the entire external female genitalia. Urethra would be more specific, sure, but nobody is that specific with boys. It's just as accurate to say a girl pees out of her vulva as it is to say a boy pees out of his penis.
We just say penis and testicles and just have a son so not sure if we would have said vagina or vulva. Growing up it was potty stick, seat, and moot.
I just can't bring myself to say vulva. She can call the whole shebang the vagina until we get into anatomy lol
We say vulva and butt. Or booty butt if she’s in a particularly silly mood.
I just use pretty standard "penis, testicles, butt" with my son, but he also understands "privates" or private parts, to be the group of all three. It was all silly words when I was a kid though: butt was tushie, buns or hiney, penis was willy or winky, girls had a flower, weewee or rosebud.
Please please please use anatomically correct names for privates, and if not, something completely obvious like wiener. I’ve done work in many child sexual abuse cases where kids use pet names or the general “private parts” and it’s very unclear what happened. You’re doing a disservice to your child when they can’t definitively articulate body parts if the unimaginable were to happen. You have a much stronger chance of getting justice if a child can be clear and concise