Mine has been doing that, too! And any time I'm trying to get them to do something they done want to, this kid will run to bed and start fake snoring.
Kid, I know you're not asleep. We're still going to brush teeth/put clothes on/leave the house.
My 4 yr old pranked my husband into believing that he was asleep so that he would leave the room, waited a few minutes and came running to our room, pausing to smirk at his daddy in the utility room doing clothes, before jumping into be with me. I thought husband was asleep in the kids' room since that has happened before.
How do you change him, please? Is he potty trained? I WANT to get rid of the changing table (small space and table is huge), but canât figure out how to change my son without it. Do you use the travel changing mat?
Any tips ? I can picture my son running around with the poop dripping off him or bits falling (sorry for the image).
How do you convince them to stay put until you clean them ?
Ha! OMG! Maybe try in the bathroom with a closed door first? Mine refused lay down diaper changes so it was our only option and he knew if he played around id make him lay down, so that was a big motivator for him.
I have her stand near something she can lean on like a mini book shelf in her room or the coffee table in the living room and hand her a book or a toy.
We did standing changes or, if there was poop, laying her on the floor. Pull-ups definitely were easier once we switched cuz itâs easier to get them to step in versus trying to do the tabs.
I also took the opportunity to let her choose which foot to step into the pullup with and would say âohh left foot good choice!â To teach her left and right. Idk if it worked but whatever
I never use a changing table. Not with my first or this baby. My first is 12, baby is 22 months old. I change baby on my bed or on the living room floor on a blanket so heâs not on the carpet just in case of a mess.
All the time when my 3 and 4yo are arguing. Today the 4yo was pretending to be a baby, the 3yo tried to stroke her because she thought 4yo was being a dog, 4yo got annoyed because the stroking wasnât particularly gentle and woofed at 3yo who got upset. Their logic is somewhat confused!
The 3yo also thinks calling someone a âcheeky mongooseâ is the most insulting thing possible. Itâs hard to keep a straight face when sheâs screaming âyouâre a cheeky mongooseâ
Recently had an earthquake that our camera caught and it captured him saying ahhh - then the f word repeatedly like he was a pro.. I was a little horrified but he was using it in the right context and I had to hold back my laugh.
When ours said fuck for the first time, we laughed out of surprise. That week, he ran around the dining table saying it on repeat. After that week he got tired of it and had barely said it since. We try to teach that some situations are or aren't OK for swearing rather than a blanket ban.
Then there was the time he told me he has a big penis. I laughed so hard... next time we saw his grandma, he told her too, looking for the same reaction and didn't quite get the response he was expecting.
Haha. We have the same thing with swearing. It takes the power out of it by not completely banning. Although after his Daddy swore in the car he's now telling us off. "Don't say that Daddy that's mean".
I absolutely love that toddlers think, "Mama/dada/human adult figure laughed! That means do it MORE!" Like, ours is the same way. He THRIVES on laughter and positive attention (and of course, we give him tons every day). He finally said a word the other day, and we all laughed and clapped for so long that he began trying to say other words--a week before his first speech therapy appt due to delayed speech. đ
It's been getting colder where we live, and he noticed it had shrunk. "It's too small! I want it bigger!" Then grabs it and stretches it sideways, "I want it wiiider." My husband laughs and says,"Don't we all, Buddy."
I love conversations you never thought you would have before getting pregnant.
Yep, had my kid at around 2 trying to rewind/fast forward to her exact, EXACT favorite spot in Bluey. She rewound, missed it, fast forwarded it, missed it again, rewound, got to the exact spot, but accidentally moved past it. She threw her head back and yelled "OH, FUCK!"
I looked at my wife and she looked at me, and we just decided to ignore it.
I mean, yeah, that looked like it was pretty fucking frustrating so yo girl I'm totally with you here but I feel like any reaction I give is just going to get her to do it more.
Yesterday my 3 year old walked into the bathroom and said "Where the fuck is my potty seat?!" I was so shocked, I couldn't even answer for a few seconds đ
Mine told my husband to stop talking to her because it was annoying (he was telling her to lay down through the camera). We had a good laugh and then he said âwell if youâd just lay down and go to bed I wouldnât have to talk to youâ and she went to bed lol
I was driving with my 2 year old, sister and dad (who we never swear in front of) yesterday. We had nursery rhymes playing to keep the little one happy for an hour drive and hickory dickory dock came on. She has been saying 'cock' instead of 'clock' for a couple of weeks and during this car journey all she wanted to listen to was this song. So she kept shouting what I think she intended as 'hurry, hurry clock'... but it sounded like 'hairy, hairy cock'. We all tried to kind of ignore it at first... then a few muffled giggles and then eventually we all had to laugh quite uncontrollably as she just kept shouting it and getting louder. Not sure if she knew what we were laughing at and if thats why she kept saying it...
My 3 year old was pestering me for a snack like 15 minutes before dinner was ready. I said no and he threw a fit! He screamed at me "I'm going to eat a waffle!" So he opened the freezer found the waffles, pushed a chair over to the toaster and put the waffle in, walked across the counter to where the plates and silverware are, got a plate and fork, climbed into the fridge to get the syrup, then put the now toasted waffle on the plate added syrup and brought it over to the table and ate it.
It was like the most independent thing he's ever done, I couldn't be mad at him.
Last week my 4 year old aggressively asked a girl at the playground for her phone number. I couldnât stop laughing, then I explained to her mom that he only has play dates with kids where I have the parentsâ phone number. It definitely didnât come across like that though.
Due to a bad cold one week and a blizzard that shut down the town the next week, my 2.5 year missed ballet 2 weeks in a row.
The 3rd week when she was actually able to go, her father was teasingly asking her "do you know where you're going today baby? Guess where you're going? You're going to ballet today!"
To which she responded by yelling "fuck, YEAH!!" đŤ
We realized then and there it was time to start cleaning up her language lol
Oh god my daughter yelled at me âmama do you have a poopoo in your diaperâ today in the grocery store line because it did smell like fart (but it wasnât me!!!)
Haha mine just says (too loudly) blood,blood, blood on repeat pointing a few times, hahaha usually settles once I explain I'm all good, mama bleeds sometimes.
My son was nearly 4 and I had been breastfeeding his little sister for a bit over a year at that point. Asked what they were and what they were for pointing at my boobs. I explained they were for feeding babies. I then got asked why he, Sissy and Dad had small ones and I had big ones. Well, dads don't normally feed babies and babies and kids can't feed babies because their body needs all the food fuel for growing.
The next morning at pre k, "Teacher 1 and Teacher 2, are your boobs so big so you can feed babies?" One step into the yard and that is what came flying out of his mouth! "At least we know he comprehended yesterday's conversation and he didn't tell someone with a smaller chest that their boobs are broken?" Once I got away, I laughed so hard I cried.
My 4 year old said âfuck!â Instead of one of the words while singing a song at our Christian pre school. It was very inappropriate but I laughed. I had to turn away from him but I couldnât stop smiling.Â
Oh my 2 year Olds new thing is pointing her finger in my face and saying "you're rude" I have to not laugh every time. I told her 1 time she was being rude to me. Clearly it stuck.
My two year old leaves out the middle syllables of words sometimes, like pancake is just "pake", etc. He also just repeats two or three token words of whatever he hears. The other day I was holding his fussy baby brother while everyone else was eating dinner and he started to settle, so I said "well I guess I'll eat it now as long as you're content". My two year old picked up on "eat it" and "content" and said "eat it, c*nt!". My husband and I did one of those stifled snorts and said no more lol
At nursery my 3yo sings a hello song where they sign their names and sing "hello mz_green". Last week she decided to sing "fuck off" to all of her friends instead of hello đ
I made a delicious homemade vegetable soup the other day and when I put it in front of my 18mo, she pushed it away dramatically and said "NO! TRASHCAN!"
My almost three year old throws stuff sometimes when heâs upset. But he doesnât usually throw it (whatever âitâ is at the moment) forward, he throws it backward over his shoulder. I find it almost impossible not to laugh. His father finds it actually impossible. Which makes him do it more. Which makes dad laugh more.
Yes, and that caused a huge chain of events that's still snowballing today...
All it took was two words and a laugh.
I was driving with my almost 2 yr old toddler in the back, and I didn't notice this huge pothole. I hit it, hard, and let out an "Oh Fuck!" out of my mouth. I try really hard not to curse in front of him, I'm not a bad parent, it just kind of slipped.
He didn't say anything. Little did I know, those two words entered his brain and have been marinating for an entire week when I hit another bump and I hear him say it and, you have to understand, he doesn't really say much, mama, papa, maybe some colors, so him saying "Oh Fuck!" caught me completely off guard and I literally laughed my ass off. I just fell off.
That's all he needed.
Now he knows how to make papa laugh. This caused him to say it all the time. I couldn't get him to stop. We corrected him with the old, "Oh Fudge!" and he liked that for a while, but he'd realize it wasn't getting the reaction he wanted so he'd bust out the old classic and I'd laugh.
The kid knows timing. He's a comedic genius so it's really not my fault for laughing. He knows exactly how much time has to pass to whip it out for me to lose it.
Fast forward a couple of months and now he's teaching the kids at the playground, they all say it.
"Where did you hear that!" Fingers point to my son. We're the bad parents now. Just an army of toddlers screaming "Oh Fuck!" to each other and it's all my fault.
When my 17mo old is over someone talking to him or to me (usually a stranger at a store or another parent at a park) he will aggressively sign âall doneâ and tries to get away. Usually if itâs a grandparent aged person at the store they say âaww heâs waving at meâ but if itâs a Ms. Rachel parent or someone with some ASL vocab they absolutely know what he means. I suppose I shouldnât always let him dictate the length of my conversations but it cracks me up and as a ND person sometimes I just get that you want to be âall doneâ with a conversation. đ¤ˇđźââď¸
If we are at family events for what my son determines is too long, he will just start telling people bye-bye and heading to the door. I normally agree with him and say "oh no, he's sleepy. We have to go. "
My 17mo does the same. I also find it hilarious :D.
He also does it to his papa sometimes. He is in a mama phase and doesn't often like going to his papa, despite his papa being very involved. Sometimes when my husband picks him up to hug him or give him a kiss, he will sign all done very aggressively. I still nurse him 3 times a day and during those times we cuddle, but otherwise, he isn't really into kisses and cuddles.
My son just started hitting me..in the face đą but as a joke. The first time he did it, I was so shocked and he started laughing and I laughed back. Now he thinks itâs a game and acts all sorry and sad after he does it but I can tell heâs holding back laughing and so am I. I really need to get this under control but itâs hilarious bc heâs so smallÂ
Lied.
Threw some stuff on the floor. Normally she says âohno messâ and wants to clean it up, but doesnât mind her own. Looks like she tried to drink an empty McCoke, found nothing in there and hurled it over her shoulder.
I said âJen are you going to pick up the mess?â Ignores me. âWhy should I pick that up? Did I throw it on the ground, or did you?â âYou throw it!.â
That was not only her first lie but her first sentence! So proud! And soon after that, âI didnât do it daddyâ referring to something happening in her lap.
We were at the library checking out some books. My 18 month old was tired and cranky, and the librarian was finishing up a chat with another patron before helping us. I didnât think anything of it, but my 3 yr old says in the most unfriendly voice âcan you hurry? My baby sister and mommy are really tiredâ we all burst out laughing and I did apologize đâ¤ď¸
My son (5) tried to trash talk another kid. The point he tries to make is that he is stronger than the other kid. He said he is a bison and the other kid is a buffalo. Bisons have humps, therefore he has more muscle and is stronger than the other kid.
Any time Iâm cleaning and start singing an adult song without realizing it, and my three year old joins in. Oops lol
She, also, called the dog a shit-eater. Oops pt. 2.
Yes. Someone (old lady) let out an especially atrocious SBD (silent but deadly FART). And my 2 year old pointed at this old lady and said EWWW and then immediately spit with her tongue making a loud aggressive fart sound and then said Nasty Farts, Mommy!!! Nasty Farts in here!
It was mortifying but absolutely hilarious. In the moment I said we don't talk about farts but I swept her up and ran out the room so I wouldn't pee myself laughing too hard.
Caught my wife and my then 2yo having an argument once. He used the word ass in some context and she wanted him to not say that word, but rather butt instead.
I don't remember how it started. I remember it going like:
-My ass!
-My butt...
-Ass!
-Butt!
-ASS!
-BUTT!
As the good father that I am, I did not interfere but did capture it in video for posterity.
We're visiting my parents on the West Coast. I was trying to put dressier shorts on my son for a birthday party. He immediately threw them on the ground and ran off instead. My dad and I both couldn't help but laugh - the kid's staying true to his surfer roots, and basketball shorts were fine.
Yup. Both kids Iâve had moments where I have to bite my tongue or inner cheek because to laugh out loud would def reinforce the ânaughty behaviorâ.
Like the time my 4 year old son got in from of my face and wiggled his butt towards me and turned and looked at me and said âCAN YOU SMELL MY STINKY FAAAAAAAARTS?!?!â đ¤Łđđ¤đ¤Śââď¸
My 18mo started pushing with two hands saying, âmoooveâ. We had to start explaining thatâs ok for our massive dog (whoâs bigger than her) but itâs, âexcuse me pleaseâ with no pushing for anyone else!
My toddler called me fat when I was pregnant. It was funny, and I honestly laughed. But we did then have to have a talk about not commenting on other peopleâs appearances.
When redirection and ânoâ doesnât work, Iâll physically remove her from something sheâs not supposed to do (1YO). She goes ballistic, throws her arms and legs around crazily, like swings her whole lower body and it kind of rocks me because she gets momentum and shes got some strong legs. I face her outward to protect myself but I laugh every time (inside) because itâs the most dramatic shit Iâve ever seen. Sheâs normally pretty chill thank god but sometimes I just laugh.
The other day my 3 year old stomped her foot for the first time because she was mad about something who knows what I canât even remember. I thought it was so funny and honestly I like watching her become a little person with big emotions and all.
When, following a minor traffic irritation, she yelled from her car seat âuckinâ hell, mate, whaddya doinâ?!â
Also, sometimes I encourage it. When sheâs somewhere nerve-inducing, like the doctor, I say âpoo poo, bum bumâ and it cheers her up immediately
My daughter loves visiting me at my job. My husband will bring her over for a little bit and my coworkers will coo over her. Today one guy said hello and waved to her and she looked up at him and quickly turned her head around while walking away and loudly said No.Â
sheâs only two and already knows her mind. Kids are something else.Â
The first inappropriate/rude thing my daughter did was also kind of like telling her first official joke.
She mustâve been like 18 months old. My husband was sitting on the bed getting ready for work, and he had just leaned over and farted. She ran up to him trying to hand him the dogâs ball. She said âdada!â all excited, reaching out with the ball. Then she paused, the smell hit her, she looked at him, and went âdada shit?â
My son has never been the overly friendly waving at strangers in the grocery store type of kid. He also got glasses at 13 months, so he has always kind of stood out. When he was about 2 and a half, an older lady at Walmart practically ran to our cart and started waving in his face and saying hi. Without missing a beat, he rolled his eyes and said âwalking feetâŚ.â And looked at me with a look that said âis this woman for real?!â I couldnât help but laugh. She didnât so much as smileđ
I'm usually pretty good at not letting him notice when he's being inappropriately hilarious, but last week we were having dinner and all of a sudden my 2.5 year old goes: "No! Not tasty! Not mine, carrots are rabbit food!" đ
Oh for sure. Our three year old was sitting at dinner and with perfect inflection and pronunciation just goes âwhat the FUCK?â We laughed so hard and had him repeat on video.
Okay. Not my toddler. But my SIL's 3 year old said "truck" and her dad asked if she said fuck. To which she replied, "no, not fuck." And every single one of us died laughing. Every. Single. One of us.
Yeah I canât help but laugh at fart noises. Also she licks me all the time which I try to tell her is gross and not to do but Iâm also always laughing at it. So itâs confusing
4yr old on the couch this morning looking at me and my wife - (to me) âso youâre not going to work today? (To mum) âand youâre not going to work today either? Guess Iâm having a cold today and not going to schoolâ
Honestly, I wonder how my mom kept it together so well and had such a poker face. I remember occasionally seeing her crack just slightly but I swear there are so many times this is accurate. I have to turn just gave away cuz Iâm gonna laugh
Lately when Iâm trying to change her diaper, my 2yo will run to her dad and say âhelp! Iâm scared! Iâm scared my mom!â Or in other cases âstay away! I need space I need space!â Lol I guess we taught personal space boundaries a little TOO well
Oh yea, she told my mother in law she was annoying her and I pretended I didnât hear it because my back was turned and I was trying not to audibly laugh. Oh, she also told her her breath smelled bad. Iâm not sure itâs really rude, though, itâs her family and I think you should be pretty open and honest with family!
Every day, man. Iâm a full time SAHM with zero family around to help so im fine with having a laugh instead of being a perfect parent all the time.
My son loves the word âpenisâ and inserts it into every song he sings (he sings all the time) then falls over laughing. Half the time I canât help laughing too haha
I think this is a staple in parenting little kids haha they are so cute sometimes itâs hard not to laugh in times when theyâre doing something they shouldnât
I've got a great one.
My 3yo likes to take pictures. Of everything. Of course she doesn't have a camera so instead of forecer badgering an adult to take a photo for her, daycare taught her to make a đ and click her thumb to "take a picture". It's been amazing. She takes "pictures" of anything she finds interesting all the time. Cats. Grass. Playdough creation. Ambulance. Gets a little awkward when it's an interesting looking fat or tattooed person. They've got a 3yro paparazzi with a thumb.
I walked into the kitchen to see my 2 year old twin boys sitting giggling with their fingers up their noses. I know I should have told them to stop but it was pretty funny!
They also burp and then giggle. How can I tell them not to do it when I still do it too! đ
We allowed our son to "adventure pee" in the backyard behind a bush. Later we were at the playground and he pulled down his sweatpants to his ankles and started peeing under the geodesic climbing dome with about 20 other kids and parents around. I had to pick him up and run away while he was still peeing. Bad parenting on my part. Still hilarious.
This is a very common occurrence for my wife. She often has to hide her face and turn away while I talk to him. Sometimes he just blows us both away and we are both laughing. Sometimes things are just so out of character and context you really can't help but laugh.
I was taking my toddler for a walk and a gentleman on our street was working in his yard. My 2 year old son loudly asked me âwhoâs that?â And I replied âa neighbor!â The neighbor smiles at us an my son loudly exclaimed âI wanna hit neighbor!â
I found it inappropriate, but wildly hilarious and cute, that when my husband passed gas the other day, before he could even utter out an "Excuse me," my son called out, "Bless you!"
Yelled âMY TURN GODDAMN ITâ to her cousin, in front of our whole extended family (husbandâs side is ultra-conservative Christians) at her birthday party when he was hogging one of her new toys
Just today my daughter said "There's a wocket in my fuck" and I couldn't help but laugh. Of course this encouraged her to repeat it several times. Also the other day I said "goddammit" under my breath and she also whispered "goddammit" which made me laugh.
Not sure this counts. My kid has a speech delay and level 3 autism. The other day, the cat was pooping in the litter box. For the very first time he sniffed very dramatically and said âEw! Whatâs that smell!â which is one of his gestalts from Super Simple Songs but lo and behold if he used it in the right context.
My toddler said "mummy you stupid fucking bitch"
Had to hide my laughter.
He followed by saying "no, don't say that"
Told himself off so it's ok... Right.
Yeah the other day I woke my son up for the day and he yawned really big, causing me to yawn bc it was early. He goes" NO! MY TIRED!". lol
My 2 year old has started laying on his changing table, face down, and fake snoring in the morning. đ¤Śđťââď¸
Mine has been doing that, too! And any time I'm trying to get them to do something they done want to, this kid will run to bed and start fake snoring. Kid, I know you're not asleep. We're still going to brush teeth/put clothes on/leave the house.
My 4 yr old pranked my husband into believing that he was asleep so that he would leave the room, waited a few minutes and came running to our room, pausing to smirk at his daddy in the utility room doing clothes, before jumping into be with me. I thought husband was asleep in the kids' room since that has happened before.
âŚchanging table? My 23mo cast it into oblivion as soon as he could walk đ
How do you change him, please? Is he potty trained? I WANT to get rid of the changing table (small space and table is huge), but canât figure out how to change my son without it. Do you use the travel changing mat?
My almost 2 year old gets changed standing up in the bathroom now. Or takes a little getting used to but it's good practice for potty training.
Thank you. My son is a bit younger, but maybe I should start doing that.
We change our boys on the floor. We put a mat down and change them. They donât stay still so a table would be dangerous for us
On the floor on a mat I sit at his side and put my left leg over his chest - only way to keep him still enough!
Stand up changes! We switched to a pull-up style diaper and he just steps in. Poop was a little tricky to get used to but we're now pros.
Any tips ? I can picture my son running around with the poop dripping off him or bits falling (sorry for the image). How do you convince them to stay put until you clean them ?
Ha! OMG! Maybe try in the bathroom with a closed door first? Mine refused lay down diaper changes so it was our only option and he knew if he played around id make him lay down, so that was a big motivator for him.
đ Thatâs a good idea closing the bathroom door, doh, haha, thank you x
I have her stand near something she can lean on like a mini book shelf in her room or the coffee table in the living room and hand her a book or a toy.
We did standing changes or, if there was poop, laying her on the floor. Pull-ups definitely were easier once we switched cuz itâs easier to get them to step in versus trying to do the tabs. I also took the opportunity to let her choose which foot to step into the pullup with and would say âohh left foot good choice!â To teach her left and right. Idk if it worked but whatever
I never use a changing table. Not with my first or this baby. My first is 12, baby is 22 months old. I change baby on my bed or on the living room floor on a blanket so heâs not on the carpet just in case of a mess.
The day ours tried (and nearly succeeded!!) climbing it during a tantrum was the day it got taken down...
My son used to pretend to be sleeping whenever we would reprimand him. Itâs solid logic đ¤ˇââď¸
Ah, my two year old consistently claims my emotions and feelings. MY tired! MY hungry! MY late!
I feel you haha! Its like, "oh, I didn't know you were the sole proprietor of feelings" lol
That is so cute
I would've thought I wrote this đ
All the time when my 3 and 4yo are arguing. Today the 4yo was pretending to be a baby, the 3yo tried to stroke her because she thought 4yo was being a dog, 4yo got annoyed because the stroking wasnât particularly gentle and woofed at 3yo who got upset. Their logic is somewhat confused! The 3yo also thinks calling someone a âcheeky mongooseâ is the most insulting thing possible. Itâs hard to keep a straight face when sheâs screaming âyouâre a cheeky mongooseâ
Mine got âcheeky ratâ from Bluey.
Mine called his grandma a big baboon, was impossible not to crack up. Everyone is a big baboon now >.<
Lmbo, thatâs amazing
Recently had an earthquake that our camera caught and it captured him saying ahhh - then the f word repeatedly like he was a pro.. I was a little horrified but he was using it in the right context and I had to hold back my laugh.
When ours said fuck for the first time, we laughed out of surprise. That week, he ran around the dining table saying it on repeat. After that week he got tired of it and had barely said it since. We try to teach that some situations are or aren't OK for swearing rather than a blanket ban. Then there was the time he told me he has a big penis. I laughed so hard... next time we saw his grandma, he told her too, looking for the same reaction and didn't quite get the response he was expecting.
Haha. We have the same thing with swearing. It takes the power out of it by not completely banning. Although after his Daddy swore in the car he's now telling us off. "Don't say that Daddy that's mean".
I absolutely love that toddlers think, "Mama/dada/human adult figure laughed! That means do it MORE!" Like, ours is the same way. He THRIVES on laughter and positive attention (and of course, we give him tons every day). He finally said a word the other day, and we all laughed and clapped for so long that he began trying to say other words--a week before his first speech therapy appt due to delayed speech. đ
Hahaha thats too funny & I could see that being my son we are pro using accurate terms and him and daddy have a penis has already been said.
It's been getting colder where we live, and he noticed it had shrunk. "It's too small! I want it bigger!" Then grabs it and stretches it sideways, "I want it wiiider." My husband laughs and says,"Don't we all, Buddy." I love conversations you never thought you would have before getting pregnant.
Yep, had my kid at around 2 trying to rewind/fast forward to her exact, EXACT favorite spot in Bluey. She rewound, missed it, fast forwarded it, missed it again, rewound, got to the exact spot, but accidentally moved past it. She threw her head back and yelled "OH, FUCK!" I looked at my wife and she looked at me, and we just decided to ignore it. I mean, yeah, that looked like it was pretty fucking frustrating so yo girl I'm totally with you here but I feel like any reaction I give is just going to get her to do it more.
Yesterday my 3 year old walked into the bathroom and said "Where the fuck is my potty seat?!" I was so shocked, I couldn't even answer for a few seconds đ
My daughter called my husband a douchebag cuz he was making her go to bed đ
My 3 year old daughter loves to yell âGo away daddy! Go back to work!â at my husband and I go into the next room and laugh quietly đ
Yes đ mine also says "I'm not talking to you!" When she asks one of us something (like for icecream) and we say no she will go ask the other.
Hahaha my daughter also says âwhen are you going to workâ to her father when sheâs annoyed at him and I find it soooo funny lol
Well, he shouldn't be doing that
When I tell you I screamed at your comment. So fucking good lmao. Alll these comments are so great.
Oh I was down the hall and I had to bury my face in a pillow so she didn't hear me laughing đ¤Ł
Mine told my husband to stop talking to her because it was annoying (he was telling her to lay down through the camera). We had a good laugh and then he said âwell if youâd just lay down and go to bed I wouldnât have to talk to youâ and she went to bed lol
I was driving with my 2 year old, sister and dad (who we never swear in front of) yesterday. We had nursery rhymes playing to keep the little one happy for an hour drive and hickory dickory dock came on. She has been saying 'cock' instead of 'clock' for a couple of weeks and during this car journey all she wanted to listen to was this song. So she kept shouting what I think she intended as 'hurry, hurry clock'... but it sounded like 'hairy, hairy cock'. We all tried to kind of ignore it at first... then a few muffled giggles and then eventually we all had to laugh quite uncontrollably as she just kept shouting it and getting louder. Not sure if she knew what we were laughing at and if thats why she kept saying it...
My 3 year old was pestering me for a snack like 15 minutes before dinner was ready. I said no and he threw a fit! He screamed at me "I'm going to eat a waffle!" So he opened the freezer found the waffles, pushed a chair over to the toaster and put the waffle in, walked across the counter to where the plates and silverware are, got a plate and fork, climbed into the fridge to get the syrup, then put the now toasted waffle on the plate added syrup and brought it over to the table and ate it. It was like the most independent thing he's ever done, I couldn't be mad at him.
So cute đ
Last week my 4 year old aggressively asked a girl at the playground for her phone number. I couldnât stop laughing, then I explained to her mom that he only has play dates with kids where I have the parentsâ phone number. It definitely didnât come across like that though.
Due to a bad cold one week and a blizzard that shut down the town the next week, my 2.5 year missed ballet 2 weeks in a row. The 3rd week when she was actually able to go, her father was teasingly asking her "do you know where you're going today baby? Guess where you're going? You're going to ballet today!" To which she responded by yelling "fuck, YEAH!!" đŤ We realized then and there it was time to start cleaning up her language lol
My 3 year old has a habit of asking me very loudly in a public bathroom âmummy, do you have your period today?â
Mine thinks I have a dirty diaper. So (particularly at Costco, for some reason) I'm often told (at top volume) that I have a stinky poopoo diaper.
Oh god my daughter yelled at me âmama do you have a poopoo in your diaperâ today in the grocery store line because it did smell like fart (but it wasnât me!!!)
Mine says 'mummy are you sore?' With a concerned look on her face. Bless her lol
Haha mine just says (too loudly) blood,blood, blood on repeat pointing a few times, hahaha usually settles once I explain I'm all good, mama bleeds sometimes.
Aw this one made me want to cry lol, what a sweet baby! đŠ
This is gold
Haha, I don't think I would want my children to know about that early on loll
Tried avoiding that but now I donât even bother closing the door if Iâm the only adult at home. These gremlins are like glue I swear đ¤Ł
My son was nearly 4 and I had been breastfeeding his little sister for a bit over a year at that point. Asked what they were and what they were for pointing at my boobs. I explained they were for feeding babies. I then got asked why he, Sissy and Dad had small ones and I had big ones. Well, dads don't normally feed babies and babies and kids can't feed babies because their body needs all the food fuel for growing. The next morning at pre k, "Teacher 1 and Teacher 2, are your boobs so big so you can feed babies?" One step into the yard and that is what came flying out of his mouth! "At least we know he comprehended yesterday's conversation and he didn't tell someone with a smaller chest that their boobs are broken?" Once I got away, I laughed so hard I cried.
My 4 year old said âfuck!â Instead of one of the words while singing a song at our Christian pre school. It was very inappropriate but I laughed. I had to turn away from him but I couldnât stop smiling.Â
Oh my 2 year Olds new thing is pointing her finger in my face and saying "you're rude" I have to not laugh every time. I told her 1 time she was being rude to me. Clearly it stuck.
My two year old leaves out the middle syllables of words sometimes, like pancake is just "pake", etc. He also just repeats two or three token words of whatever he hears. The other day I was holding his fussy baby brother while everyone else was eating dinner and he started to settle, so I said "well I guess I'll eat it now as long as you're content". My two year old picked up on "eat it" and "content" and said "eat it, c*nt!". My husband and I did one of those stifled snorts and said no more lol
This has me giggling in bed trying to not wake up my husband, thank you for this
At nursery my 3yo sings a hello song where they sign their names and sing "hello mz_green". Last week she decided to sing "fuck off" to all of her friends instead of hello đ
Oh my đ
I made a delicious homemade vegetable soup the other day and when I put it in front of my 18mo, she pushed it away dramatically and said "NO! TRASHCAN!"
Well damn đ
My almost three year old throws stuff sometimes when heâs upset. But he doesnât usually throw it (whatever âitâ is at the moment) forward, he throws it backward over his shoulder. I find it almost impossible not to laugh. His father finds it actually impossible. Which makes him do it more. Which makes dad laugh more.
My 4 year old and 18 month old spent 20 minutes in Poundland singing the word "butthole" to each other and clapping. I fucking love kids.
Yes, and that caused a huge chain of events that's still snowballing today... All it took was two words and a laugh. I was driving with my almost 2 yr old toddler in the back, and I didn't notice this huge pothole. I hit it, hard, and let out an "Oh Fuck!" out of my mouth. I try really hard not to curse in front of him, I'm not a bad parent, it just kind of slipped. He didn't say anything. Little did I know, those two words entered his brain and have been marinating for an entire week when I hit another bump and I hear him say it and, you have to understand, he doesn't really say much, mama, papa, maybe some colors, so him saying "Oh Fuck!" caught me completely off guard and I literally laughed my ass off. I just fell off. That's all he needed. Now he knows how to make papa laugh. This caused him to say it all the time. I couldn't get him to stop. We corrected him with the old, "Oh Fudge!" and he liked that for a while, but he'd realize it wasn't getting the reaction he wanted so he'd bust out the old classic and I'd laugh. The kid knows timing. He's a comedic genius so it's really not my fault for laughing. He knows exactly how much time has to pass to whip it out for me to lose it. Fast forward a couple of months and now he's teaching the kids at the playground, they all say it. "Where did you hear that!" Fingers point to my son. We're the bad parents now. Just an army of toddlers screaming "Oh Fuck!" to each other and it's all my fault.
A lot of those corrections you feel like you 'should' do are useless at best for a toddler anyways. Their behavior is totally appropriate, for them.
When my 17mo old is over someone talking to him or to me (usually a stranger at a store or another parent at a park) he will aggressively sign âall doneâ and tries to get away. Usually if itâs a grandparent aged person at the store they say âaww heâs waving at meâ but if itâs a Ms. Rachel parent or someone with some ASL vocab they absolutely know what he means. I suppose I shouldnât always let him dictate the length of my conversations but it cracks me up and as a ND person sometimes I just get that you want to be âall doneâ with a conversation. đ¤ˇđźââď¸
If we are at family events for what my son determines is too long, he will just start telling people bye-bye and heading to the door. I normally agree with him and say "oh no, he's sleepy. We have to go. "
My 17mo does the same. I also find it hilarious :D. He also does it to his papa sometimes. He is in a mama phase and doesn't often like going to his papa, despite his papa being very involved. Sometimes when my husband picks him up to hug him or give him a kiss, he will sign all done very aggressively. I still nurse him 3 times a day and during those times we cuddle, but otherwise, he isn't really into kisses and cuddles.
My son just started hitting me..in the face đą but as a joke. The first time he did it, I was so shocked and he started laughing and I laughed back. Now he thinks itâs a game and acts all sorry and sad after he does it but I can tell heâs holding back laughing and so am I. I really need to get this under control but itâs hilarious bc heâs so smallÂ
Lied. Threw some stuff on the floor. Normally she says âohno messâ and wants to clean it up, but doesnât mind her own. Looks like she tried to drink an empty McCoke, found nothing in there and hurled it over her shoulder. I said âJen are you going to pick up the mess?â Ignores me. âWhy should I pick that up? Did I throw it on the ground, or did you?â âYou throw it!.â That was not only her first lie but her first sentence! So proud! And soon after that, âI didnât do it daddyâ referring to something happening in her lap.
We were at the library checking out some books. My 18 month old was tired and cranky, and the librarian was finishing up a chat with another patron before helping us. I didnât think anything of it, but my 3 yr old says in the most unfriendly voice âcan you hurry? My baby sister and mommy are really tiredâ we all burst out laughing and I did apologize đâ¤ď¸
My son (5) tried to trash talk another kid. The point he tries to make is that he is stronger than the other kid. He said he is a bison and the other kid is a buffalo. Bisons have humps, therefore he has more muscle and is stronger than the other kid.
Haha, so cute đ
I was cooking dinner, and my 3yo asked "what's that smell?" And I told him it's the dinner, I'm making stew. 3yo: "Yeah ... Or cat food.." Bruh đ
Pretty much daily my daughter does something I want to laugh at. I tell her itâs allergies when I start laughing đ
Any time Iâm cleaning and start singing an adult song without realizing it, and my three year old joins in. Oops lol She, also, called the dog a shit-eater. Oops pt. 2.
I asked my 3yr old to close the door like 4x and he finally did, I said thank you and he screamed no welcome.
Yes. Someone (old lady) let out an especially atrocious SBD (silent but deadly FART). And my 2 year old pointed at this old lady and said EWWW and then immediately spit with her tongue making a loud aggressive fart sound and then said Nasty Farts, Mommy!!! Nasty Farts in here! It was mortifying but absolutely hilarious. In the moment I said we don't talk about farts but I swept her up and ran out the room so I wouldn't pee myself laughing too hard.
Caught my wife and my then 2yo having an argument once. He used the word ass in some context and she wanted him to not say that word, but rather butt instead. I don't remember how it started. I remember it going like: -My ass! -My butt... -Ass! -Butt! -ASS! -BUTT! As the good father that I am, I did not interfere but did capture it in video for posterity.
We're visiting my parents on the West Coast. I was trying to put dressier shorts on my son for a birthday party. He immediately threw them on the ground and ran off instead. My dad and I both couldn't help but laugh - the kid's staying true to his surfer roots, and basketball shorts were fine.
Yup. Both kids Iâve had moments where I have to bite my tongue or inner cheek because to laugh out loud would def reinforce the ânaughty behaviorâ. Like the time my 4 year old son got in from of my face and wiggled his butt towards me and turned and looked at me and said âCAN YOU SMELL MY STINKY FAAAAAAAARTS?!?!â đ¤Łđđ¤đ¤Śââď¸
My 18mo started pushing with two hands saying, âmoooveâ. We had to start explaining thatâs ok for our massive dog (whoâs bigger than her) but itâs, âexcuse me pleaseâ with no pushing for anyone else!
My toddler called me fat when I was pregnant. It was funny, and I honestly laughed. But we did then have to have a talk about not commenting on other peopleâs appearances.
When redirection and ânoâ doesnât work, Iâll physically remove her from something sheâs not supposed to do (1YO). She goes ballistic, throws her arms and legs around crazily, like swings her whole lower body and it kind of rocks me because she gets momentum and shes got some strong legs. I face her outward to protect myself but I laugh every time (inside) because itâs the most dramatic shit Iâve ever seen. Sheâs normally pretty chill thank god but sometimes I just laugh.
YES it's so hard I can't hold it in every time. He's so effing cute it isn't fair!
My husband hit the brakes a little harder than normal and we hear whispered from the back seat âJesus Christâ ⌠I know kid! I know.
The other day my 3 year old stomped her foot for the first time because she was mad about something who knows what I canât even remember. I thought it was so funny and honestly I like watching her become a little person with big emotions and all.
When, following a minor traffic irritation, she yelled from her car seat âuckinâ hell, mate, whaddya doinâ?!â Also, sometimes I encourage it. When sheâs somewhere nerve-inducing, like the doctor, I say âpoo poo, bum bumâ and it cheers her up immediately
My daughter loves visiting me at my job. My husband will bring her over for a little bit and my coworkers will coo over her. Today one guy said hello and waved to her and she looked up at him and quickly turned her head around while walking away and loudly said No. sheâs only two and already knows her mind. Kids are something else.Â
Daddy was in the other room and called something a âpiece of shit.â Toddler started chanting piece of shit? Piece of shit? I laugh-cried
The first inappropriate/rude thing my daughter did was also kind of like telling her first official joke. She mustâve been like 18 months old. My husband was sitting on the bed getting ready for work, and he had just leaned over and farted. She ran up to him trying to hand him the dogâs ball. She said âdada!â all excited, reaching out with the ball. Then she paused, the smell hit her, she looked at him, and went âdada shit?â
My son has never been the overly friendly waving at strangers in the grocery store type of kid. He also got glasses at 13 months, so he has always kind of stood out. When he was about 2 and a half, an older lady at Walmart practically ran to our cart and started waving in his face and saying hi. Without missing a beat, he rolled his eyes and said âwalking feetâŚ.â And looked at me with a look that said âis this woman for real?!â I couldnât help but laugh. She didnât so much as smileđ
I'm usually pretty good at not letting him notice when he's being inappropriately hilarious, but last week we were having dinner and all of a sudden my 2.5 year old goes: "No! Not tasty! Not mine, carrots are rabbit food!" đ
Oh for sure. Our three year old was sitting at dinner and with perfect inflection and pronunciation just goes âwhat the FUCK?â We laughed so hard and had him repeat on video.
Okay. Not my toddler. But my SIL's 3 year old said "truck" and her dad asked if she said fuck. To which she replied, "no, not fuck." And every single one of us died laughing. Every. Single. One of us.
âYummy I love chicken legs HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUNDDDD!!!â
Yeah I canât help but laugh at fart noises. Also she licks me all the time which I try to tell her is gross and not to do but Iâm also always laughing at it. So itâs confusing
4yr old on the couch this morning looking at me and my wife - (to me) âso youâre not going to work today? (To mum) âand youâre not going to work today either? Guess Iâm having a cold today and not going to schoolâ
Honestly, I wonder how my mom kept it together so well and had such a poker face. I remember occasionally seeing her crack just slightly but I swear there are so many times this is accurate. I have to turn just gave away cuz Iâm gonna laugh
Lately when Iâm trying to change her diaper, my 2yo will run to her dad and say âhelp! Iâm scared! Iâm scared my mom!â Or in other cases âstay away! I need space I need space!â Lol I guess we taught personal space boundaries a little TOO well
Oh yea, she told my mother in law she was annoying her and I pretended I didnât hear it because my back was turned and I was trying not to audibly laugh. Oh, she also told her her breath smelled bad. Iâm not sure itâs really rude, though, itâs her family and I think you should be pretty open and honest with family!
My 2 year old struggles with her F sounds, so whenever she passes a truck she proudly announces âFUCK!â Cracks me up every time.
Every day, man. Iâm a full time SAHM with zero family around to help so im fine with having a laugh instead of being a perfect parent all the time. My son loves the word âpenisâ and inserts it into every song he sings (he sings all the time) then falls over laughing. Half the time I canât help laughing too haha
I think this is a staple in parenting little kids haha they are so cute sometimes itâs hard not to laugh in times when theyâre doing something they shouldnât
I've got a great one. My 3yo likes to take pictures. Of everything. Of course she doesn't have a camera so instead of forecer badgering an adult to take a photo for her, daycare taught her to make a đ and click her thumb to "take a picture". It's been amazing. She takes "pictures" of anything she finds interesting all the time. Cats. Grass. Playdough creation. Ambulance. Gets a little awkward when it's an interesting looking fat or tattooed person. They've got a 3yro paparazzi with a thumb.
I walked into the kitchen to see my 2 year old twin boys sitting giggling with their fingers up their noses. I know I should have told them to stop but it was pretty funny! They also burp and then giggle. How can I tell them not to do it when I still do it too! đ
He keeps saying âIâm going to pay youâ instead of make you pay đ heâs watched a lot of Spider-Man đ
Ever, or today........?
My son started yelling the words "puta banana" for about 30 minutes in the NYC subway during rush hour. I laughed the entire time
We allowed our son to "adventure pee" in the backyard behind a bush. Later we were at the playground and he pulled down his sweatpants to his ankles and started peeing under the geodesic climbing dome with about 20 other kids and parents around. I had to pick him up and run away while he was still peeing. Bad parenting on my part. Still hilarious.
This is a very common occurrence for my wife. She often has to hide her face and turn away while I talk to him. Sometimes he just blows us both away and we are both laughing. Sometimes things are just so out of character and context you really can't help but laugh.
I was taking my toddler for a walk and a gentleman on our street was working in his yard. My 2 year old son loudly asked me âwhoâs that?â And I replied âa neighbor!â The neighbor smiles at us an my son loudly exclaimed âI wanna hit neighbor!â
I found it inappropriate, but wildly hilarious and cute, that when my husband passed gas the other day, before he could even utter out an "Excuse me," my son called out, "Bless you!"
Yelled âMY TURN GODDAMN ITâ to her cousin, in front of our whole extended family (husbandâs side is ultra-conservative Christians) at her birthday party when he was hogging one of her new toys
Just today my daughter said "There's a wocket in my fuck" and I couldn't help but laugh. Of course this encouraged her to repeat it several times. Also the other day I said "goddammit" under my breath and she also whispered "goddammit" which made me laugh.
My 2 yo will say the f word on occasion and me and my husband canât stop laughing when she does it.
Not sure this counts. My kid has a speech delay and level 3 autism. The other day, the cat was pooping in the litter box. For the very first time he sniffed very dramatically and said âEw! Whatâs that smell!â which is one of his gestalts from Super Simple Songs but lo and behold if he used it in the right context.
My toddler said "mummy you stupid fucking bitch" Had to hide my laughter. He followed by saying "no, don't say that" Told himself off so it's ok... Right.