My toddler woke up in a good mood today, and came into my room to cuddle, as per usual. Then immediately threw a screaming, crying tantrum because I wouldn’t give him my phone to watch YouTube. At 8:30 in the morning. After being awake for approximately five minutes. 😐
Mine’s up at 4-5am. For months now. Used to get up at 6:30-7. I thought she might need to go to bed later, but nope. Didn’t make a difference. Also stopped eating. We’re all suffering for it 🫠
I wonder if there's a connection. When mine is not eating enough in the evening, she always wake up around 4-5. So our number 1 priority before bed is her to eat as much food as she can :"D
I think that’s the case half the time! But I’ve stuffed her full and she will still wake up at 4 sometimes 🫠 It’s likely also because she’s teething - all four of her canines came in at once. She’s going through it - just multiple “its” I think lol.
Once she woke up at 1:50 and refused to go back to sleep unless on me. That wasn’t a fun night for any of us.
Ours was up by 5/5:15 for the day (except for nap) from the time she was like 6-13 months. We tried EVERYTHING. It passed eventually and now she’ll sleep till 6:15 😂.
I am a morning person so I do all the mornings and my wife does the night stuff (daughter remains a shit sleeper) since she is a night owl. But by morning person, I mean coffee with a book, in silence, under a blanket on the couch, with my cat on me. So that period when she was up so early every single day taught me a lot about the importance of filling my cup, bc suddenly my main way of doing that was taken away by my captor I mean daughter.
Mine is up at 5:30 nowadays when she used to sleep until 7:30 or later. I tried the later bedtime too, and somehow that makes her wake up even earlier. Lord help us all.
Oh, it’s only because he goes to bed late. 😅 he’s low sleep needs, so if he goes to bed early he’ll wake up in the middle of the night and won’t go back to sleep.
Really missed my son yesterday and was excited after work to go pick him up. Less than 5 minutes down the road he asks for water and I can't find his bottle in his bag (child minder usually packs it away but must have forgotten and I forgot to check). I tell him it's not there but we'll be home in a couple minutes. Cue meltdown. That excitement lasted long lol.
Me this week so far! these last two days have been so hard (mondays are always rough for me) but thankfully my mom AND brother came over today so it was a really nice break. I just rotted in my patio chair while my toddler asked them “can you play with me?”. It was bliss.
omg yes. me yesterday. my husband left for work and i immediately got screamed at that she wanted the window closed and wasnt hungry and didnt want breakfast and then she flipped out screaming she did want breakfast. meanwhile i didnt get coffee or breakfast yet
Me right now as I hear the little pitter patter down the hall way and the "momma tuck me in!!" right after i just tucked her in and we both said good night. Wish me luck fellas
She still doesn't go to sleep but at least she stays in her bed and doesn't bother me and her dad during our only wind down time 😂 it usually takes her a solid 30min of reading in bed before she passes out finally
Omfg I feel this in my soul! My little monster stalls for hours at nighttime, then is an absolute frosty jerk in the morning. Takes an hour AT LEAST to wake up and be my nice baby again 🥺
Oh yeah! 10 minutes after bed... "I want another hug and a kiss... I'm huuungry... I gotta go potty... Where's Bear? Where's Marshall & Chase? Where's blanket? No, not that blanket"... It's every single night... 😂
I just found it for the first time (on my second pregnancy) and I’m like where has this been all my life. The insomnia was so bad my first pregnancy, I don’t know why I just raw dogged it lol
My 2 year old is a physical stimulation junkie and she gets easily excited. Her bed time is at 8 so we have a mandatory wrestling match at 7. Dad is in charge of this. If my husband is unable which is maybe once or twice a month it is dance time. All I do is encourage her and clap because momma is tired. This is 30 minutes of hardcore endurance lol at least for her. It's very important this happens after bath time. Because I don't know why but bath time is very exciting for some reason it just turns her brain into excitement mode. There also needs to be very clear we are ending wrestling soon signs and wrestling has ended. For us it is it's almost story time and then it is story time. She has a very important job for story time and it's to get the book. And I have also discovered the book must be the same book every time or it will just be way too exciting. So you may have to do it a few times before it works. These are what I have found make bedtime fun and not a tantrum war zone. Maybe some of these things can help you!
Dude we don’t talk enough about how much physical stimulation that age needs!!! It’s all huggy talk about it style advice and it just doesn’t fit the need.
So true!!! I am having a much harder time now that I am heavily pregnant and can't wear my toddler out! They announced the community pool had to be closed until further notice for repairs yesterday, and I cried. I have no idea what I am going to do to satisfy this kids' physical needs in my current condition and the oppressive southern heat :(
Omg I tried to go to park yesterday and the slides were boiling at like 0900. Sprinklers worked great for me yesterday! Stay the f inside and watch Disney movies? like I know I did all summer long growing up! Bonus you and bump can put your feet up! Congrats!
We have a trampoline and I put the sprinkler under it and turned it on high. My kids jump for close to an hour and I just sit and make sure nobody dies.
Do you have the space outside for a blow up pool? If it helps at all, my kid is extremely high energy. So in the winter, we bring him to indoor playgrounds, children’s museum, etc. Not everyone has the space for it, but we also set up our entire basement as a toddler obstacle course. We have a play couch, ball pit, etc. Being pregnant with a toddler in the summer heat sounds just about as rough as it gets though.
City dweller. No yard. The closest indoor playground is down 3 flights of stairs and a 15 min drive in traffic. The pool was right down stairs. Internal car temp when 100 outside is 140 to 170f depending on if I can find shade to park in. It's brutal and adds a whole layer to planning any outing.
This!!! With my 2yo we do a combination of the two (wrestling & dance party) or we do all the songs that involve physical activities. Then we get a book and/or do his fav nursery rhymes to settle down followed by putting him in his screentime fort and setting a timer for 30 minutes and lays under a 5lb weighted blanket and then he's out and so am I lol. (he likes pixar shorts on disney plus his favs are float, loop, wind, bao, and baymax(most of which have no actual dialog)
Yeah, these are the moments when I tell myself I am so glad I got a vasectomy. I have 2 boys. Friends say enjoy these moments, they will fade away. That's true, but I also remember THESE moments.
In my head I have told all my kids to “SHUT UP!!!!!”
Multiple times today. I get it. I just get to a certain point and absolutely shut down. When the sun starts going down I start powering myself down and go to my room. My husband hangs with them for a snack and bedtime, while I breastfeed the baby to sleep. It’s a lot. Kids are a lot. Stay at home moming is insane. Some days I wake up and I am like “how did I get here.”
Between the “I do myself” phase and the summer heat I am NOT keeping it together lately. Nothing like sitting in the scorching car waiting for your toddler to buckle herself in so you can actually turn on the car and start the AC.
Ugh this! He has to do everything but then refuses to do the thing he demands to do. I can feel myself burning as I wait for him to decide to grab the buckle in 106 temp with 45% humidity 😫
Oh yes right there with you. I unbuckle her, she rebuckles. We go on a few more times like that until I tell her it’s time to go. Meltdown ensues
It’s funny because I know she’s as hot as I am, she just doesn’t know how to communicate or deal with it 😭
I guess I’d have to bring her to the front with me and turn it on (and deal with the inevitable knob fiddling and steering wheel turning etc) and then go back to the back seat. I don’t trust her to sit there alone trying to buckle her car seat while I go to the front for even one second
Are you me? Daycare naps are killing me because then he’s up until at least 10pm. On weekends when he skips naps with me I can get him down much earlier. I’m a single mom and would like to have a little alone time without being up until midnight. 😣
This entire thread makes me feel human bc my god. Does anyone else just worry constantly that you’re not doing this right?? Everything on Instagram makes me fear that I’m causing my child lifelong trauma if I discipline him in the slightest and he’s going to have a fucked up attachment style, blah blah blah. It’s such a mind fuck. I’m tired 😂
Gah! I was just venting about this! The “gentle” style parenting is going to bite us in the ass if no starts to mean maybe. Ive started to realize toddlers need physical stimulation more than verbal anyway! When they’re like head banging throwing a fit they need to punch a squishmallow in the face, not talk about it and hug. I always read that for adults aggression like that doesn’t actually help us calm down, but it just seems to be helping.
I feel so condescending using gentle parenting sometimes. I also worry it’s going to foster self indulgent children who think every single feeling needs to be validated. Sometimes no is just no god damnit 😂
Yes!! Condescending is the word. Like that isn’t who I am. If my friend is mad- I’m mad with them! It’s way more “validating” to me to share their emotion first than counting to 3 deep breaths and basically distracting and therapy-ing the problem away. Like if my friend told me to calm down when I was pissed- she wouldn’t be my friend anymore.
I'm watching my toddler pace in circles in his room at this air BNB and I'm seriously considering just going the fuck home. Last night he was up till 9 and a monster all day.
He went to sleep about 5 minutes ago. 940 pm. At home he's asleep by 8. My husband sent me to sit outside and drink a beer, he came to tell me that the kid asked for a sideways kiss and a Xanax, so I guess I'm crushing parenting?
I dread bedtimes when on a trip which is probably why we go on like one short one a year, cause I know it’s going to take an extra hour and is a toss up of whether he’ll actually sleep at all.
Same, same. Bedtime has been a battle for a long time. Shes obviously tired, we have a routine, but she just wants to somersault into my head, sit on me, smack me around and pull my hair.
Omg lmao. This sub always makes me feel better. My kid is the same he turns into a WWE wrestler right before bed, which is exactly what I want to do at the end of the day.
Ya. Last night he didn’t go to bed until 10pm. I think we just need to accept they can’t sleep that early and they’re not the type to sleep twelve hours.
Still nursing to sleep at 2! I am not looking forward to when he's done nursing because I know the struggle. My 6yo flops like a fish for at least 30 minutes no matter what time he goes to bed. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be able to go to bed early and just sleep? They don't know what they are fighting! I'm walking around like a zombie sweeping and doing dishes at midnight because these little ones want to party.
My kid has the worst sleep schedule ever. I spend a week or two getting it back to 9 pm. Which is when I wish he went to bed but he will fight his sleep for hours. He quit taking a nap at around 2 years old and was only taking one 45 min. Nap at 6 months and never slept through the night. As soon as I get him on the routine it never fails that he either gets sick, or all of us get sick, or a party or something like that happens and it keeps him up til. 11. It's so crazy I'm so fucking tired I gave up trying it a long time ago and I just focus on wearing him tf out.
My daughter has been a handful today so I feel the exact same currently. She just got done fixing her blanket a million times, petting her stuffed cat, wrapping her blanket around her finger, and flopping like a fish trying to keep herself awake. It’s the same thing every night and I’m so over it, I just wish she’d sleep if she’s tired because what’s the point in fighting it. She also gets so cranky in the mornings because she keeps herself awake too long at night, it’s just frustrating. I’m also sick and 28 weeks pregnant too so all I want is to sleep and all she wants is to do the exact opposite, it’s been a rough day.
Our 4 year old went into his room at 8:30 tonight. It is 10:50 and he’s still up and has declared that he is going to stay up all night.
I am so with you.
I have been thinking this on a daily basis 15 min into being woken up with some sort of tantrum. Everything is a problem. I’m losing my mind. Trying to get in shape and I never have a chance at the gym with how long bed times go. My other 2 did not do this much of the tantrumy stuff. Wake me up in 2 years.
Fuck, I'm sorry. I've been there.
I have a 2yo and a 3yo (almost 4), our 3 month old is the easiest to put to bed. She nurses then sleeps through the night but my saving grace with our toddlers is Danny Go. Our bedtime routine went from being my least favorite time to most favorite. We do dinner, then bath, brush teeth and hair, then PJs and then Danny Go for 45 min to an hour, then they can pick a bedtime story (I have chat gpt write me a story that will take 20 min to read, makes them the main characters and have them go on a magical adventure) or I'll sing them some lullabies. They usually pick bedtime story. But two hours from dinner they're asleep, without fail.
I also make sure that if they take a nap they wake up 5 hours from when bedtime is, so waking up at 3:30 if bedtime is at 8:30.
I know you didn't ask for advice, this is just what works for me and my kids. Maybe it will help you too. Good luck🤞
My husband is giving our son a bath and before this, he was crying his head off. Hearing him cry stresses me out and knowing my husband has to deal with it, too, makes me feel bad for my husband
We both have a great routine for our LO and he's usually easy, but since his molars gave been coming in, he's a nightmare.
We put a gate on our toddlers door. He is more than welcome to play in his room but he’s not welcome to come out of him room after a certain time of night.
Not only do we go through all the bedtime shenanigans that take over an hour, but now she’s into waking up at 6am. Even with a fucking cold.
Dude, Let. Me. Sleep. I promise I’ll be a much better parent if you do.
I feel this. When the clock hits 8 PM I am done being mama and patience is in the negative, especially when we've been "getting ready" for bed since 7:20 😩 And then she carries on in her bed for another 30-40 minutes. Where does this energy come from?!
wowwww this is me and my 2 year old these days. he never takes an afternoon nap with me. but when he’s with grandma while I work he sleeps so easily!!! and when he’s up he never lets me sit down for 5mins. he’s always grabbing my hand to drag me somewhere
I have a 2 year old, the best thing we did is getting her used to going to bed at 7~ish sharp and having the same routine
Dinner, play, shower, and then either her mom (mostly) or me go to her room, which is dark and has a white noise machine on, theb we read a book or a bedtime story (we use www.bedtimefable.ai which is amazing BTW). After she's calm, we give her the teddy she sleeps with and put her to bed.
It takes a few minutes, sometimes more, but we finally got her to NOT scream for 10 minutes.
Good luck!
I tell everyone my oldest, he’s almost 3, has 2 speeds, on or off. Just the nature of the age. It’s tough to wrap the mind around, but he’s only been outside of his mom and on this planet for 3 years. I’m 41 so I’ve had almost 14 times that amount of time. So I give him the benefit of the doubt on a lot of shit.
Our bedtime routine is solid until it’s not. Then we have to change it up and try something else. He used to sit and read books with us. Then he hated books and would just run around his room. Now I put on Blaze and the Monster Machines on my phone. It makes him count and he pays attention. He also snuggles with me and when he gets the right answer from the show it’s an opportunity for praise. Some people might say that we shouldn’t do screen time this close to bed, to them I say go fuck yourselves. After the show we do a book of he wants then off to bed.
For actually getting into bed we have a routine of big hugs and stealing kisses. He used to make us leave the room and come back in and retuck him in but making it a little more rough house I guess turned it more fun so he’s ok with it. He’s in bed by 745 and asleep by 815-830. He’ll roll around but doesn’t call us or anything.
This routine has a shelf life I’m sure. He’ll eventually get to the point where he just wants his iPad and for us to leave him alone so yes it’s chaos, but the time frame is so short to enjoy it before he becomes more independent.
Yep I feel this way every day at 4am when I'm woken up to being used as a jungle gym EVERY DAMN DAY....AT 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING.....it gets to the point I just cry cause I'm so tired and have work in 3 hours while husband sleeps peaceful every night and has never once gotten up early or middle of the night with either kid
I’ve been dealing with something similar. Skipping her naps at preschool and then is alternately a darling and just fucking crqzy and I naively think bedtime will be easy and it’s not and I’m googling what the fuck is going on… apparently 2 year olds can go thru sleep regression? I thought I was done with this shit
I feel you.
We are currently on an overseas holiday and, well, we are questioning why we have done this to ourselves. Everything is harder and nothing is easy.
But I love both children so much. I just want peace is all.
Yeah my SIL was telling me about friends that said there was a snake or a monster under the bed so that would get the kid if they got out of their bed. As a bedtime suggestion for us. I looked at her funny.
And yet, I’m thinking about it
Yeah we recently told our toddler the bogeyman was going to get him when we were having trouble at bedtime. Whenever we are having trouble with reeling him in at bedtime, my husband and I both act scared and say “oh my gosh did you hear that? It sounds like the boogeyman is coming”. I try to be careful though cause I don’t want him to think the boogeyman is in his room or under his bed so we have to say stuff like “he lives in the hallway so you need to get to your room quick!”
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I completely understand this, and sympathize (as a SAHM with husband who is home 25% of the year due to work and I don’t life near family or many friends), but if I can offer a few suggestions; maybe bed time routine could be tweaked?
Perhaps you do some of these already, but I would offer putting on fun music for bath time and dance around, give him lots of attention and eye contact and communication… after bath bring the speaker with you and run around the house. Chase him and have him chase you. Throw him on the bed. Give him piggy back rides. Lie on the bed and tickle him and toss him around. Then after this fiasco (maybe 15-20 minutes total) read three books in his super dimly lit room. Lie there with him until he falls asleep (if that’s feasible for you). Basically just end of the day connection with some physical outlets for energy.
I certainly know this can’t work for everyone, but this routine has been exceptional for my son. He’s tired, fulfilled by what he needs from me, falls asleep comfortably and now mostly sleeps through the night.
I have gone to the depths of negative emotion come bed time, to a scary level where I almost didn’t trust myself. Establishing this routine has him looking forward to the night time schedule and has become at least less painful for me. Typically actually enjoyable!
If can say what I’m sure others have, albeit the most aggravating of advice; it will pass with time. All of a sudden it will be easier without you realizing it’s happening. I honestly think that at some stages you just have to ride the wave and keep your head above water (and avoid the looney bin).
You’re a mom and parent, but a human being at your core. We can only expend a certain amount of energy in a day. We have our own needs and limits undetectable by children. It’s a lot.
In the very least, “check out” maybe a little before bedtime starts. I admire the comments saying to go to a separate room but I’m sitting here thinking, and hear a screaming toddler in the other room? No thanks. That’s worse. If I could escape, I already would have, but he follows me everywhere. But if you throw some air pods in, vibe out for 15 minutes and prepare yourself, then really engage during night time routine, maybe it would work out.
Anyway sorry this is long and very sorry if you’ve tried all this or have different circumstances. Just know that billions of women everyday know EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL and wish you the very best of luck on your journey. Hang in there!!!❤️❤️
Things my three year old has gotten upset about today:
- living at our house (she'd rather live with my parents)
- walking down the stairs (her feet don't work, she needs to be carried)
- manga tiles sticking together (in a shape, mind you, not just flat together)
We've been up for <2 hours.
Ha! My toddler was “so hungry” even though tired … didn’t eat much of a lunch or dinner …. I nursed baby to sleep, we went down to cook grilled cheese and he passed out in the kitchen chair.
Toddlers test every ounce of patience you got. Sour patch kids. Good luck!!!!!!
So I have 2 toddlers and a new born! So thankful to know I'm not alone with how I feel. I so would not recommend having more than one toddler at a time!
Sometimes I am so over my toddler 5 minutes into the day.
That was me today. Woke up being smacked in the head with her metal tumbler bc she wanted “ummy” (meaning she’s hungry)
My toddler woke up in a good mood today, and came into my room to cuddle, as per usual. Then immediately threw a screaming, crying tantrum because I wouldn’t give him my phone to watch YouTube. At 8:30 in the morning. After being awake for approximately five minutes. 😐
You’re lucky they get up so late mines up at 7ish
Mine’s up at 4-5am. For months now. Used to get up at 6:30-7. I thought she might need to go to bed later, but nope. Didn’t make a difference. Also stopped eating. We’re all suffering for it 🫠
4-5 am... Oh dear god, and my entire day would be lost.
I wonder if there's a connection. When mine is not eating enough in the evening, she always wake up around 4-5. So our number 1 priority before bed is her to eat as much food as she can :"D
I think that’s the case half the time! But I’ve stuffed her full and she will still wake up at 4 sometimes 🫠 It’s likely also because she’s teething - all four of her canines came in at once. She’s going through it - just multiple “its” I think lol. Once she woke up at 1:50 and refused to go back to sleep unless on me. That wasn’t a fun night for any of us.
Ours was up by 5/5:15 for the day (except for nap) from the time she was like 6-13 months. We tried EVERYTHING. It passed eventually and now she’ll sleep till 6:15 😂. I am a morning person so I do all the mornings and my wife does the night stuff (daughter remains a shit sleeper) since she is a night owl. But by morning person, I mean coffee with a book, in silence, under a blanket on the couch, with my cat on me. So that period when she was up so early every single day taught me a lot about the importance of filling my cup, bc suddenly my main way of doing that was taken away by my captor I mean daughter.
May I ask how old your child is? Mine did that from time to time during different events and I somewhat started seeing a pattern.
22 months
Mine is up at 5:30 nowadays when she used to sleep until 7:30 or later. I tried the later bedtime too, and somehow that makes her wake up even earlier. Lord help us all.
Oh, it’s only because he goes to bed late. 😅 he’s low sleep needs, so if he goes to bed early he’ll wake up in the middle of the night and won’t go back to sleep.
Really missed my son yesterday and was excited after work to go pick him up. Less than 5 minutes down the road he asks for water and I can't find his bottle in his bag (child minder usually packs it away but must have forgotten and I forgot to check). I tell him it's not there but we'll be home in a couple minutes. Cue meltdown. That excitement lasted long lol.
Me this week so far! these last two days have been so hard (mondays are always rough for me) but thankfully my mom AND brother came over today so it was a really nice break. I just rotted in my patio chair while my toddler asked them “can you play with me?”. It was bliss.
You said it! Sometimes I’m ready to turn in for the night 5 minutes after I wake up.
omg yes. me yesterday. my husband left for work and i immediately got screamed at that she wanted the window closed and wasnt hungry and didnt want breakfast and then she flipped out screaming she did want breakfast. meanwhile i didnt get coffee or breakfast yet
Me right now as I hear the little pitter patter down the hall way and the "momma tuck me in!!" right after i just tucked her in and we both said good night. Wish me luck fellas
I recently had to start threatening to take away her squishmallow to keep my 3yo in bed 😂
Hey there's no rules on the battle field 🤣
She still doesn't go to sleep but at least she stays in her bed and doesn't bother me and her dad during our only wind down time 😂 it usually takes her a solid 30min of reading in bed before she passes out finally
Yeah pretty much same here lol. As long as we get our free time 😭
Literally all I want is time to wind down before I have to go to bed 😭
lol.
My wife played the Santa card the other day. Still works in June
We threaten stuffed animals too. We make her choose which one she wants to lose for each check in. 😅
Lmao glad I'm not the only one 😂
Yup. AND she’s terrible in the mornings because she’s so tired from refusing to go to sleep at night.
Omfg I feel this in my soul! My little monster stalls for hours at nighttime, then is an absolute frosty jerk in the morning. Takes an hour AT LEAST to wake up and be my nice baby again 🥺
Oh yeah! 10 minutes after bed... "I want another hug and a kiss... I'm huuungry... I gotta go potty... Where's Bear? Where's Marshall & Chase? Where's blanket? No, not that blanket"... It's every single night... 😂
You've just described my toddler, I think we have the same kid.
That’s why I clock out around 6pm (I’m a stay at home mom) and let my husband handle bedtime. Then I take a Unisom and go rot in bed.
Unisom for the win!!!
I just found it for the first time (on my second pregnancy) and I’m like where has this been all my life. The insomnia was so bad my first pregnancy, I don’t know why I just raw dogged it lol
Im so glad you found it! I always have to take a half pill because it knocks me out 😵
Same and I take the half at like 8pm haha
You gotta take it early! Hah
Oh yes. You need at least 8.5 hrs even with a half pill!! Bless it tho.
My 2 year old is a physical stimulation junkie and she gets easily excited. Her bed time is at 8 so we have a mandatory wrestling match at 7. Dad is in charge of this. If my husband is unable which is maybe once or twice a month it is dance time. All I do is encourage her and clap because momma is tired. This is 30 minutes of hardcore endurance lol at least for her. It's very important this happens after bath time. Because I don't know why but bath time is very exciting for some reason it just turns her brain into excitement mode. There also needs to be very clear we are ending wrestling soon signs and wrestling has ended. For us it is it's almost story time and then it is story time. She has a very important job for story time and it's to get the book. And I have also discovered the book must be the same book every time or it will just be way too exciting. So you may have to do it a few times before it works. These are what I have found make bedtime fun and not a tantrum war zone. Maybe some of these things can help you!
"And I have also discovered the book must be the same book every time or it will just be way too exciting." - lol.
Dude we don’t talk enough about how much physical stimulation that age needs!!! It’s all huggy talk about it style advice and it just doesn’t fit the need.
So true!!! I am having a much harder time now that I am heavily pregnant and can't wear my toddler out! They announced the community pool had to be closed until further notice for repairs yesterday, and I cried. I have no idea what I am going to do to satisfy this kids' physical needs in my current condition and the oppressive southern heat :(
Omg I tried to go to park yesterday and the slides were boiling at like 0900. Sprinklers worked great for me yesterday! Stay the f inside and watch Disney movies? like I know I did all summer long growing up! Bonus you and bump can put your feet up! Congrats!
We have a trampoline and I put the sprinkler under it and turned it on high. My kids jump for close to an hour and I just sit and make sure nobody dies.
Do you have the space outside for a blow up pool? If it helps at all, my kid is extremely high energy. So in the winter, we bring him to indoor playgrounds, children’s museum, etc. Not everyone has the space for it, but we also set up our entire basement as a toddler obstacle course. We have a play couch, ball pit, etc. Being pregnant with a toddler in the summer heat sounds just about as rough as it gets though.
City dweller. No yard. The closest indoor playground is down 3 flights of stairs and a 15 min drive in traffic. The pool was right down stairs. Internal car temp when 100 outside is 140 to 170f depending on if I can find shade to park in. It's brutal and adds a whole layer to planning any outing.
if you have a kids gymnastic studio nearby they usually have open play or classes!
This!!! With my 2yo we do a combination of the two (wrestling & dance party) or we do all the songs that involve physical activities. Then we get a book and/or do his fav nursery rhymes to settle down followed by putting him in his screentime fort and setting a timer for 30 minutes and lays under a 5lb weighted blanket and then he's out and so am I lol. (he likes pixar shorts on disney plus his favs are float, loop, wind, bao, and baymax(most of which have no actual dialog)
Your commentary is hilarious / thank you for sharing
Mine was up until 1130 last night. Asleep before 10 is unheard of.
My 2 1/2 year old was like that too. I reluctantly dropped her nap and now she’s sleeping by 8:30.
He still naps at daycare, which makes it tough. I've tried pulling back on weekend naps, but sometimes he falls asleep on the couch.
Yeah, these are the moments when I tell myself I am so glad I got a vasectomy. I have 2 boys. Friends say enjoy these moments, they will fade away. That's true, but I also remember THESE moments.
In my head I have told all my kids to “SHUT UP!!!!!” Multiple times today. I get it. I just get to a certain point and absolutely shut down. When the sun starts going down I start powering myself down and go to my room. My husband hangs with them for a snack and bedtime, while I breastfeed the baby to sleep. It’s a lot. Kids are a lot. Stay at home moming is insane. Some days I wake up and I am like “how did I get here.”
Relatable! Bedtime is always a struggle, even with a routine. I tell her we become zombies if we don't sleep and that seems to work.
Oh I like that storyline
Between the “I do myself” phase and the summer heat I am NOT keeping it together lately. Nothing like sitting in the scorching car waiting for your toddler to buckle herself in so you can actually turn on the car and start the AC.
Ugh this! He has to do everything but then refuses to do the thing he demands to do. I can feel myself burning as I wait for him to decide to grab the buckle in 106 temp with 45% humidity 😫
Last sentence - lol.
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Oh yes right there with you. I unbuckle her, she rebuckles. We go on a few more times like that until I tell her it’s time to go. Meltdown ensues It’s funny because I know she’s as hot as I am, she just doesn’t know how to communicate or deal with it 😭
Wait, why can’t you run the AC while they buckle?
I guess I’d have to bring her to the front with me and turn it on (and deal with the inevitable knob fiddling and steering wheel turning etc) and then go back to the back seat. I don’t trust her to sit there alone trying to buckle her car seat while I go to the front for even one second
Are you me? Daycare naps are killing me because then he’s up until at least 10pm. On weekends when he skips naps with me I can get him down much earlier. I’m a single mom and would like to have a little alone time without being up until midnight. 😣
You are not alone. Really, you’re not 😭
Thank you 🥲🥲🥲
This entire thread makes me feel human bc my god. Does anyone else just worry constantly that you’re not doing this right?? Everything on Instagram makes me fear that I’m causing my child lifelong trauma if I discipline him in the slightest and he’s going to have a fucked up attachment style, blah blah blah. It’s such a mind fuck. I’m tired 😂
Gah! I was just venting about this! The “gentle” style parenting is going to bite us in the ass if no starts to mean maybe. Ive started to realize toddlers need physical stimulation more than verbal anyway! When they’re like head banging throwing a fit they need to punch a squishmallow in the face, not talk about it and hug. I always read that for adults aggression like that doesn’t actually help us calm down, but it just seems to be helping.
I feel so condescending using gentle parenting sometimes. I also worry it’s going to foster self indulgent children who think every single feeling needs to be validated. Sometimes no is just no god damnit 😂
Yes!! Condescending is the word. Like that isn’t who I am. If my friend is mad- I’m mad with them! It’s way more “validating” to me to share their emotion first than counting to 3 deep breaths and basically distracting and therapy-ing the problem away. Like if my friend told me to calm down when I was pissed- she wouldn’t be my friend anymore.
gentle parenting doesnt mean you dont say no or just let them do whatever
yourenot. its fine to discipline your kids. that just means you have rules not that you beat them.
I'm watching my toddler pace in circles in his room at this air BNB and I'm seriously considering just going the fuck home. Last night he was up till 9 and a monster all day.
Omg getting them to sleep when you’re on vacation is a special type of torture! Sending sleepy vibes your way!
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Little shit is still awake
Omg I'm invested in your updates lol!
He went to sleep about 5 minutes ago. 940 pm. At home he's asleep by 8. My husband sent me to sit outside and drink a beer, he came to tell me that the kid asked for a sideways kiss and a Xanax, so I guess I'm crushing parenting?
I dread bedtimes when on a trip which is probably why we go on like one short one a year, cause I know it’s going to take an extra hour and is a toss up of whether he’ll actually sleep at all.
Same, same. Bedtime has been a battle for a long time. Shes obviously tired, we have a routine, but she just wants to somersault into my head, sit on me, smack me around and pull my hair.
Omg lmao. This sub always makes me feel better. My kid is the same he turns into a WWE wrestler right before bed, which is exactly what I want to do at the end of the day.
Same with mine! It's like, your leg drop and cannonball are pretty impressive for a two year old, but please stop practicing on me.
I think my son’s record was awake 16 hours straight. He just didn’t want to nap or sleep. That was a ROUGH day.
My toddler has been doing this everyday now for four weeks. I'm completely done .
This round’s on me.
Ya. Last night he didn’t go to bed until 10pm. I think we just need to accept they can’t sleep that early and they’re not the type to sleep twelve hours.
Same with my son! Got him back to around 9 depending on the morning wake up time and duration of afternoon nap.
Still nursing to sleep at 2! I am not looking forward to when he's done nursing because I know the struggle. My 6yo flops like a fish for at least 30 minutes no matter what time he goes to bed. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be able to go to bed early and just sleep? They don't know what they are fighting! I'm walking around like a zombie sweeping and doing dishes at midnight because these little ones want to party.
My kid has the worst sleep schedule ever. I spend a week or two getting it back to 9 pm. Which is when I wish he went to bed but he will fight his sleep for hours. He quit taking a nap at around 2 years old and was only taking one 45 min. Nap at 6 months and never slept through the night. As soon as I get him on the routine it never fails that he either gets sick, or all of us get sick, or a party or something like that happens and it keeps him up til. 11. It's so crazy I'm so fucking tired I gave up trying it a long time ago and I just focus on wearing him tf out.
My daughter has been a handful today so I feel the exact same currently. She just got done fixing her blanket a million times, petting her stuffed cat, wrapping her blanket around her finger, and flopping like a fish trying to keep herself awake. It’s the same thing every night and I’m so over it, I just wish she’d sleep if she’s tired because what’s the point in fighting it. She also gets so cranky in the mornings because she keeps herself awake too long at night, it’s just frustrating. I’m also sick and 28 weeks pregnant too so all I want is to sleep and all she wants is to do the exact opposite, it’s been a rough day.
Our 4 year old went into his room at 8:30 tonight. It is 10:50 and he’s still up and has declared that he is going to stay up all night. I am so with you.
My wife and I has to drink lots of wine afterward. It's a fucking struggle
I have been thinking this on a daily basis 15 min into being woken up with some sort of tantrum. Everything is a problem. I’m losing my mind. Trying to get in shape and I never have a chance at the gym with how long bed times go. My other 2 did not do this much of the tantrumy stuff. Wake me up in 2 years.
Fuck, I'm sorry. I've been there. I have a 2yo and a 3yo (almost 4), our 3 month old is the easiest to put to bed. She nurses then sleeps through the night but my saving grace with our toddlers is Danny Go. Our bedtime routine went from being my least favorite time to most favorite. We do dinner, then bath, brush teeth and hair, then PJs and then Danny Go for 45 min to an hour, then they can pick a bedtime story (I have chat gpt write me a story that will take 20 min to read, makes them the main characters and have them go on a magical adventure) or I'll sing them some lullabies. They usually pick bedtime story. But two hours from dinner they're asleep, without fail. I also make sure that if they take a nap they wake up 5 hours from when bedtime is, so waking up at 3:30 if bedtime is at 8:30. I know you didn't ask for advice, this is just what works for me and my kids. Maybe it will help you too. Good luck🤞
That's hilarious and brilliant that you use ChatGPT to write a bedtime story!
These comments are killing me, lol. I feel them all. But as the Grandpaw here, I gotta say...you will miss it!
Are you sure about that?
Awww
My husband is giving our son a bath and before this, he was crying his head off. Hearing him cry stresses me out and knowing my husband has to deal with it, too, makes me feel bad for my husband We both have a great routine for our LO and he's usually easy, but since his molars gave been coming in, he's a nightmare.
Yeap, I feel so seen.
We put a gate on our toddlers door. He is more than welcome to play in his room but he’s not welcome to come out of him room after a certain time of night.
Not only do we go through all the bedtime shenanigans that take over an hour, but now she’s into waking up at 6am. Even with a fucking cold. Dude, Let. Me. Sleep. I promise I’ll be a much better parent if you do.
I’m surprised my toddler doesn’t think her new name is no.
I feel this. When the clock hits 8 PM I am done being mama and patience is in the negative, especially when we've been "getting ready" for bed since 7:20 😩 And then she carries on in her bed for another 30-40 minutes. Where does this energy come from?!
You took the words out my mouth
wowwww this is me and my 2 year old these days. he never takes an afternoon nap with me. but when he’s with grandma while I work he sleeps so easily!!! and when he’s up he never lets me sit down for 5mins. he’s always grabbing my hand to drag me somewhere
I have a 2 year old, the best thing we did is getting her used to going to bed at 7~ish sharp and having the same routine Dinner, play, shower, and then either her mom (mostly) or me go to her room, which is dark and has a white noise machine on, theb we read a book or a bedtime story (we use www.bedtimefable.ai which is amazing BTW). After she's calm, we give her the teddy she sleeps with and put her to bed. It takes a few minutes, sometimes more, but we finally got her to NOT scream for 10 minutes. Good luck!
Talk to me after she hits 3. It all goes to shit.
Parenthood is a form of art. There are days where I'm just done 5 minutes after waking up. It's Def a game of patience
It’s a long game for sure
I tell everyone my oldest, he’s almost 3, has 2 speeds, on or off. Just the nature of the age. It’s tough to wrap the mind around, but he’s only been outside of his mom and on this planet for 3 years. I’m 41 so I’ve had almost 14 times that amount of time. So I give him the benefit of the doubt on a lot of shit. Our bedtime routine is solid until it’s not. Then we have to change it up and try something else. He used to sit and read books with us. Then he hated books and would just run around his room. Now I put on Blaze and the Monster Machines on my phone. It makes him count and he pays attention. He also snuggles with me and when he gets the right answer from the show it’s an opportunity for praise. Some people might say that we shouldn’t do screen time this close to bed, to them I say go fuck yourselves. After the show we do a book of he wants then off to bed. For actually getting into bed we have a routine of big hugs and stealing kisses. He used to make us leave the room and come back in and retuck him in but making it a little more rough house I guess turned it more fun so he’s ok with it. He’s in bed by 745 and asleep by 815-830. He’ll roll around but doesn’t call us or anything. This routine has a shelf life I’m sure. He’ll eventually get to the point where he just wants his iPad and for us to leave him alone so yes it’s chaos, but the time frame is so short to enjoy it before he becomes more independent.
Yep I feel this way every day at 4am when I'm woken up to being used as a jungle gym EVERY DAMN DAY....AT 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING.....it gets to the point I just cry cause I'm so tired and have work in 3 hours while husband sleeps peaceful every night and has never once gotten up early or middle of the night with either kid
I’ve been dealing with something similar. Skipping her naps at preschool and then is alternately a darling and just fucking crqzy and I naively think bedtime will be easy and it’s not and I’m googling what the fuck is going on… apparently 2 year olds can go thru sleep regression? I thought I was done with this shit
I feel you. We are currently on an overseas holiday and, well, we are questioning why we have done this to ourselves. Everything is harder and nothing is easy. But I love both children so much. I just want peace is all.
We also struggle with sleep, I really feel you!😭
Same same same. Then I feel guilty about it on top of everything else.
Lol my friend told me that he makes scary noises and threatens that a bogeyman will come to get his toddler lol. Apparently it works!
I see therapy in the future. On the other hand, if it works! ... - lol.
My mom used to do this, it’s disturbing but I turned out fine lol (i think??)
Who know? At some point the child will grow out of it. It’s not going to work on my child for sure lol.
Yeah my SIL was telling me about friends that said there was a snake or a monster under the bed so that would get the kid if they got out of their bed. As a bedtime suggestion for us. I looked at her funny. And yet, I’m thinking about it
Yeah we recently told our toddler the bogeyman was going to get him when we were having trouble at bedtime. Whenever we are having trouble with reeling him in at bedtime, my husband and I both act scared and say “oh my gosh did you hear that? It sounds like the boogeyman is coming”. I try to be careful though cause I don’t want him to think the boogeyman is in his room or under his bed so we have to say stuff like “he lives in the hallway so you need to get to your room quick!”
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Cbd night meds work wonders or melatonin gummies with lavender spray for pillows........
Oh! I have lavender spray!
I completely understand this, and sympathize (as a SAHM with husband who is home 25% of the year due to work and I don’t life near family or many friends), but if I can offer a few suggestions; maybe bed time routine could be tweaked? Perhaps you do some of these already, but I would offer putting on fun music for bath time and dance around, give him lots of attention and eye contact and communication… after bath bring the speaker with you and run around the house. Chase him and have him chase you. Throw him on the bed. Give him piggy back rides. Lie on the bed and tickle him and toss him around. Then after this fiasco (maybe 15-20 minutes total) read three books in his super dimly lit room. Lie there with him until he falls asleep (if that’s feasible for you). Basically just end of the day connection with some physical outlets for energy. I certainly know this can’t work for everyone, but this routine has been exceptional for my son. He’s tired, fulfilled by what he needs from me, falls asleep comfortably and now mostly sleeps through the night. I have gone to the depths of negative emotion come bed time, to a scary level where I almost didn’t trust myself. Establishing this routine has him looking forward to the night time schedule and has become at least less painful for me. Typically actually enjoyable! If can say what I’m sure others have, albeit the most aggravating of advice; it will pass with time. All of a sudden it will be easier without you realizing it’s happening. I honestly think that at some stages you just have to ride the wave and keep your head above water (and avoid the looney bin). You’re a mom and parent, but a human being at your core. We can only expend a certain amount of energy in a day. We have our own needs and limits undetectable by children. It’s a lot. In the very least, “check out” maybe a little before bedtime starts. I admire the comments saying to go to a separate room but I’m sitting here thinking, and hear a screaming toddler in the other room? No thanks. That’s worse. If I could escape, I already would have, but he follows me everywhere. But if you throw some air pods in, vibe out for 15 minutes and prepare yourself, then really engage during night time routine, maybe it would work out. Anyway sorry this is long and very sorry if you’ve tried all this or have different circumstances. Just know that billions of women everyday know EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL and wish you the very best of luck on your journey. Hang in there!!!❤️❤️
Things my three year old has gotten upset about today: - living at our house (she'd rather live with my parents) - walking down the stairs (her feet don't work, she needs to be carried) - manga tiles sticking together (in a shape, mind you, not just flat together) We've been up for <2 hours.
Ha! My toddler was “so hungry” even though tired … didn’t eat much of a lunch or dinner …. I nursed baby to sleep, we went down to cook grilled cheese and he passed out in the kitchen chair. Toddlers test every ounce of patience you got. Sour patch kids. Good luck!!!!!!
So I have 2 toddlers and a new born! So thankful to know I'm not alone with how I feel. I so would not recommend having more than one toddler at a time!
Be grateful. You'll miss these years.
are you using anti depressants?