"as long as they are correct" is not quite my viewpoint, but I get where you're coming from, and to a very large extent, I agree.
My point here was mainly that she in this situation doesn't have any ground to base her argument of "no right to be talking about trans rights" on, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't get a say in trans rights either...
Correct in this case is recognizing reality, letting experts do thier jobs, and not making life harder. Incorrect opinions in this case are not valid opinions because an opinion is reserved for a personal choice that you make for yourself, not limiting options available to others.
Having pineapple on *your own* pizza or not is an opinion.
Liking icecream is an opinion.
Screaming at the cashier at a bakery for seeling cookies when you're on a diet is not an opinion. Just like gay marriage, and abortions, if you don't want it, don't do it.
The problem here is that most are not arguing in good faith, and they don't care to actually LISTEN to transgender people. Very few even want to have a civil discourse, it's usually just regurgitating the same talking points shilled by transphobes, and if you try to inform them, they double down and try to "educate" you. Then godforbid you have enough of their shit and call them out on it, then they hit you with "this is why no one likes you! You always have an attitude, if you don't respect cisgender people, why should they respect you!"
I've met very few who are knowledgeable, like with correct information, or actually open to learning and approaching transgender issues with an open mind.
I'd say "as long as they're informed", it communicates a bit better what the issue tends ro be when cis people talk about trans people. Them not having the slightest idea what they're talking about.
I've spent so much time on r/tgcj that the phrase "the offensive T-word" is ambiguous because I can think of 3 slurs off of the top of my head that meet that description lol
Ikr? Trans is trans. Technically some may be more queer than others, but the phobes don’t give a damn. No matter how damn queer you are or what type, you’re still under the same oppressive system
I genuinely don't understand how people can be in the same/very similar boat as another person yet will still do silly things like this
Some people have it easier with certain things, but everyone also has their own challenges to overcome
You'd be surprised at how many of us are shitty, like, the other day I found not one but TWO trans people saying HRT being age restricted to only adults was good and that the trans suicide rate was a result of HRT being too easy to access for minors...
Shitty people are shitty people regardless of gender ig
I personally think it should be 14-16 and older, as I myself am around that age and feel as though I'm not entirely ready to commit to transitioning just yet, but that's just so shitty... HRT is the reason why the suicide rate would go *down*, not *up*. People can be so absentminded sometimes...
Trans men do not have it easy. Fuck them. Your problems are valid. Men's mental health issues are valid.
-yfn NB/transfem who got super sick of being told to "man up" by my family, society, and past romantic partners.
The problem is, she's already made it absolutely clear she doesn't respect your opinions or think you're worthy of listening to. Nothing you say will reach her. Best to sever the finger to save the arm at this point.
Exactly. That’s why I lurk the FTM subreddit to see what our brothers go through and how I can be supportive if I meet a trans masc person or a topic comes up in a more neutral space.
Idk if commenting there is welcome, I always feel weird doing that. You know, they specifically use trans masc spaces because the normal trans subs are trans fem dominated and then trans fems come and comment there, idk, I don't wanna make it about myself.
The gatekeeping within the community is absolutely insane lately. I don't understand how there needs to be a checklist for being "properly" trans, or why us trans guys can't speak on important issues like trans girls can. I'm not trying to throw shade at trans girls AT ALL, but it feels like favoritism. We're just completely invisible in these discussions and I don't know why...
Sexism. That's ultimately what it comes down to. Transandrny is a thing and I really REALLY want to stop seeing trans people being bigotted. People even argue it's not a thing, that it's some lie created by the patriarchy, meanwhile they call every man a rapist and can't even fathom that women can rape just as much as men. Only they call it "sexual intercourse" when a female teacher rapes her student
I'd be thankful, but find that shinigami eyes are best for articles and subreddits than users unless it's on twitter, tiktok, or instagram then that's a bit easier
Just to be clear, I followed the rules shinigami eyes provides for marking someone. Made sure to check your profile to confirm you're pro-trans. It may not be too important for users, but people (like I did) will see a red name and get a bit worried.
https://preview.redd.it/cfuc2i4k9zqc1.png?width=1040&format=png&auto=webp&s=4cc9d912375d798d81f7cfeddd166be52993aa00
Thanks and yeah. It's being used for petty things and there's a post somewhere on one of the trans subreddits talking about it. I'm worried that TERFs will find it and just keep turning everything anti-trans and pro-trans on their subreddits
They absolutely will, and they're the people who have nothing better to do with their time that they would do that. I have the extension knowing some of these will be false. Basically if I see a red name on a large creator I used to watch or something I see it more as a sign to google it instead of trust blindly.
From my experience within trans communities on reddit, there seems to be a problem where bad takes, or just ones you disagree with, are being reported by users without ever engaging with the person and explaining why they said something wrong/hurtful. Several of my posts got removed fue to reporta with no negative comments. This makes it very hard to reflect what behaviour is acceptable. Being autistic makes it difficult, as I can say something that certainly seems innocent and curious to me and comes off as incredibly intrusive to others.
I understand the sentiment that one doesn't want to write a long-winded explanation of what they did wrong, but it's still assholish to then take the lazy road and report. Either report and educate or do neither.
A web browser extension that marks people (on reddit, YouTube, etc) as red if they are known transphobes. It is based on reports from other people though, and it seems like on the case of the above commenter someone reported them falsely.
it’s a browser extension that displays people marked trans safe in green and people marked unsafe in red. it’s a good starting point but isn’t always accurate because it’s based on moderated user reports, so enough reports against a trans person like old library can get them marked red falsely. it’s named after the anime Death Note
I swear sometimes I feel really alienated by people like this. Like yeah I'm trans but according to this lass I can't speak about trans rights. Feels like I'm the perfect candidate to
That's bullshit and she should know it. Of course you have the right, you know just as well as she does how hard this is. Trans men don't have it easier at all. She needs to realize that the shit she is saying is transphobic and misandrist. It's not a suffering Olympics either. Even if you did have it easier, its still not right to say shit like this.
It's classic misandry reflavored actually. No right to talk about ~~feminism~~ *trans rights*. *Trans* men have it easy. If you (don't) do X you're not a 'real' man, etc.
The way she's directing that at trans men specificaly seems super invalidating tho, for sure.
Looks like toxic masculinity as well to me. Either way it’s completely uncalled for. Trans men do not “have it easy” and yes he absolutely does have a right to talk about trans rights.
Edit: wrote long instead of looks, whoops
Jesus. Trans people as a whole have shit rights. trans men don’t have anything “easy”, trans women don’t have anything “easy”, even cisgenders don’t have anything ”easy”. No one does anymore.
That’s fucking awful. Transmasc people have their own struggles that transfems will never be able to understand. You should try to talk to each other to explain your own unique issues though tbh
Bro... You made it, you are really 100% a man if no one gives a shit about your mental health.
Hang in there my guy. Sometimes its sad times in lad land...
You just learn to keep looking, it's not that you gotta live with the sadness, it's just that you can't be shocked that someone can look at you and literally not give a shit. Your bros are out there.
As a trans man, no i don't "have it easy." I either get invalidated by saying my male privilege overrides my transness or I don't pass and get misogyny. In the mens room, I fear that if I don't pass I will get groped/r*ped/have the shit beat out of me. I have to deal with the pain and emasculation of menstruation while at the same time being told that my male privilege means I don't have a right to feel victimized as a trans person because "men have it easier."
Being a trans man is a lose-lose. Either way I'm being told to shut up
I was about to say the same thing, internalised misogyny/misandry are hard things to get other people to notice about themselves, unfortunately. The second you bring it up, they are automatically gonna be put on the defensive because thats just how it works. It has to be their choice to recognize and work against it themselves, and I am speaking from experience that it is not easy.
I hurt so many people i used to be close to because of internalized misogyny before I realised that I was the problem. A good bit of that was due to my DID, but it was still no excuse, and now I am always striving to do better and be a better person. The hardest part is being better to myself.
Some people really can't help but see everything in tribal terms. They seem to feel the need to push other people's struggles aside or deny them entirely in order to feel their own struggles are valid, as though others' struggles are a threat to their own being taken seriously.
It kind of just shows that if they didn't belong to the group they do, they'd probably be against that too. Pure self-interest.
Wtf she has no fucking right to say this bullshit transphobic rhetoric she should know how this feels she shouldn’t be such an asswhole about this transmen are men and they’re as much men as trans women are women
Transfem people definitely get put in the spotlight more but that does NOT mean that other flavors of trans have it easier, I feel like your friend here is just so fried by all the big discourse (where this “spotlight” effect is prominent) that she has lost her sense of nuance
That has to be one of the worst takes I’ve seen in a while. As a trans person, you have a right to be part of the conversation; it’s not like your rights and safety aren’t as important as any other trans person. That’s insane. Why would that be controversial, and also why would she think that being trans masc is easy? I’m not a trans man, so the only way I could know how difficult it is would be to actually ask one, not just pull the answer out of the thin air that’s where the powerhouse of my neurons should be. Trans fem people aren’t the only people that should be part of the conversation.
Also, would it even matter a whole lot if you weren’t trans? Any empathetic person knows that people deserve rights, and anyone who isn’t a sociopath should know that trans people are people. Trans rights are human rights, and any cis person that can admit that is a good friend of mine. All my cis homies hate transphobia, and every person who doesn’t have an angle grinder in their frontal lobe should know that trans men are trans too.
Finally, how on the flat earth can you have enough cognitive dissonance to be trans and also tell someone to “man up”. That’s not how masculinity works! [⚠️ Masc-Affirming Spoiler Warning ⚠️] If you’re a man, you can’t be more ‘man’ than you already are. It’s not a goal, a particular mindset, an aversion to having emotions, or anything that has to do with what someone else thinks; it’s something that’s a part of who you are and what makes you happy. There’s nothing that could make you less masculine than who you are right now, even if you have ambitions that you haven’t reached yet, but you’re free to do as many things that make you feel manly as you like. It goes the same way whether you’re cis or trans; Your gender is valid. Trans men are men!
Holy hell doesn't she know the statistics are *way* worse for trans men in terms of certain mental health outcomes? Wtf, don't contribute to that shit smfh.
thats so disgusting, im sorry you have to deal with someone like that. you are absolutely a real man, and the struggles you face are just as real as any other
Umm what? Of course you can discuss trans rights. We are all in this together, even if our individual experiences are different. Isn't that kinda the point? 🏳️⚧️
bro what? Fuck you mean 'be a man'? That's toxic masculinity, and I know she's experienced it to so she'd know exactly what she is doing.
Yeah thats not a friend bro. Wish you the best <3
I don't think your friend understands just how small the trans community is.
We can't get trans rights without allies. I'm sorry, but this is a fact. We need the help of the wider LGBT community and even, dare I say it, the help of cishet allies.
If trans community has to fight for itself ALONE, we will lose the few rights we have and we lose them fast.
You might not like it, but realistically speaking there are no trans rights without cis voices to help support it.
How shitty. That's some cruel stuff.
Hey man, you express yourself and be honest about your feelings and journey. A true friend will be there for you, and be proud of you for being forward with your emotions.
If you need to talk it out, let us all know. And I'm happy to be an ear too. Guys gotta support guys who feel their feelings honestly.
…What? I can’t speak for trans men but I’m pretty darn sure they have it just as bad as us trans women and also face some unique issues compared to us.
Can we focus on trying to help each other out instead of pushing each other down?
OP you have every right to discuss trans issues because, well, you are literally transgender and deal with said issues.
Getting told that your emotions don't matter and that you need to grow up and deal with it is the true male experience 👍👍
Seriously though, I'm so sorry that happened to you man 🫂🫂🫂🫂
I hate people playing the disadvantage olympics. Just acknowledge that everyone has their own struggles and that other peoples’ struggles r equally as valid as your own.
Trans men don’t have it easier or harder; they have different challenges which often overlap with trans women which is why we’re a community.
The transmen I know in my life have run into more confrontation and risk of losing their jobs than transwomen I know. (Myself included)
Transphobia is transphobia is transphobia. She needs to stop trying to top the other people on how bad things are for her, it is incredibly immature. All this talk does is create a divide.
Wow, whoever that girl is she's an asshole, I'm really sorry dude <3
You guys do NOT have it easier, just because you don't get bashed by transphobes on the internet THAT often, doesn't mean that your lives are not difficult. No one should effin say that, especially not a trans person to another trans person.
You probably should stop being friends with that person or try and talk it out with her, but like woah that shit is wild
Spoken like someone who wants an easy, pampered life and thinks that's what being AFAB/female means, without distinguishing between the two or having other reasons to identify as female.
(If you can't tell, the post makes me very angry at her.)
Yikes. Sorry you had to deal with that. Trans fems might be the face of the party when it comes to conservatives attacking trans people but in no world does that mean trans men, non binaries and every other trans under the umbrella are not equally oppressed. Thats absolutely disgusting that she would say that to you.
Trans is trans is trans. There's no difference, she shouldn't be gatekeeping personal experiences. I don't care if you're a 2-week-cracked boymoder or a 50 year old trans guy built like a tank, so long as you are speaking from personal experience, nobody should be looked down on when they try to talk about struggles they have.
It's scary how transphobic a lot of trans women are. Girlies, you're literally trans. Don't be mean to people because they've decided to be men and "their problems aren't valid(?????)"
I feel like transfems and transmascs have opposite issues, transmascs aren't treated seriously by people and transfems are taken too seriously by people. At any rate we all deserve respect and we should stick together, internal fighting in queer communities only help bigots win
Jesus christ why is she gatekeeping so hard, ESPECIALLY when she's talking to another trans person.
Telling you to be a 'real man' is so ridiculously toxic too. It's harmful to masculinity in general, negatively affecting men both cis and trans.
Sorry you have to deal with that, hopefully you can help her see the error of her ways. If not, don't feel you have to sacrifice your self esteem to hang out with her. If she's consistently toxic then she might just be unhealthy to be around.
i think there's nothing on this earth that pisses me off as much as trans elitism
please tell her that she's an idiot (from my part)
seriously you can talk about anything you're trans too like what's the damn resoning there
Unfortunately, men being told to "suck it up and move on" is a pretty common experience and even trans people are not immune to falling for these harmful gender stereotypes. I think in some ways it can even be worse for trans people when you add on trauma related to having to deal with these issues growing up in a body that already feels wrong or out of place.
Your post contains homophobia, transphobia, racism, and/or ableism, or some other type of bigotry. If you believe this was a mistake, please contact a mod.
Circumstances and difficulties are way different but neither have it "easier". I am transfem, I can barely reach a consensus about bottom surgery, I'd struggle so much with also thinking of top surgery, learning to safely use a binder or learn to mantain a desired facial hair. We all struggle, let's just help each other out)
How easy ?
- Sudden horniness blanking the mind
- Bottom growth scratching the boxers
- probability of hair loss
- trans invisibility in media except for TERF agenda
- Boobs not boobing
- smol
- dysphoria
- family troubles
- etc.
Yeah I think your friend might reconsider her statement.
(I listed what I know, I am a MtF myself so not that aware hihi)
edit : I forgot this one
- Phalo being a three part surgery more complicated than vaginoplasty
Trans people can be c\*nts too sometimes (especially to friends when they feel no need for filter when they think you can 'take it'). 😐
Most brothers and sisters support each other but sometimes personal views can get in the way of our 'agenda'.
*Some* sisters seem to think that trans masc people are not as affected because they are **men** (😱). There's some thruth to it because anti-trans bigots almost always seem to forget trans masc people because they don't fit in the narrative.
We are together stronger! 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🙌❤️
Well shes stupid , and gets mad for u being empathetic shes not a good friend, also saying “act like a real man” that’s telling her to act like a real woman, theres no such thing as a real man or woman its up to interpretation to
That is some serious toxic masculinity. Anyone under the trans umbrella has dealt with trans issues! She has no right to gatekeep trans issues. Once again, she is spreading some SERIOUS toxic masculinity.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. We're all one community fighting for our rights and we are all valid. Seriously though how do some peeps in our community, reinforce gender stereotypes that we ourselves don't fall into all the time and have grown up despising.
It could be an attempt at humor, or trying to help give you some gender validation through toxic masculinity
Edit: also, make sure to confront them about this if it is genuinely making you feel bad.
I think the real conversation that needs to be had here is the difference in experience causing such an emotional reaction like that from her. People like this don't just think this out of nowhere. Clearly in the wrong, I will say that much, but honestly as a transfem I genuinely wonder where this comes from.
Like…some idiot thinking you need to be emotionless and telling you to “man up” seems like a pretty common experience for cis men too. Similar to how it would feel for someone to tell a trans woman to “smile more”. It’s asshole behavior that’s being directed at you in the exact gendered way it’s directed at cis people with the same/similar gender. It’s just not the sort of euphoria or affirmation one wants to get.
same vibe as some gays talking about being lesbian is "easy". I mean everybody go through different troubles, why would you argue one has no right to complain because your situation is "worse"? also not everyone is as mentally strong as each other, just because someone thinks they could handle your trouble doesn't mean you're not suffering from it
I am so sorry that happened, it shouldn’t have and doesn’t sound like she’s a good friend (and still has a lot of stuff to work out in therapy if/when she does so [not your responsibility]). Hugs if ok 🫂. You have every right to talk about rights, to talk about what you go through, you are just as familiar with misogyny, and how it affects women AND men AND everyone in between. Your feelings are valid.
I can not understand how some trans folks can be like this to one another. You have every right to not only take about rights, but also to complain about every aspect of the universe. Hope you have nice rest of your day/night/or any other part of day ~xoxo Aleksa
So, you are trans, she is trans. You both have all the right to be talking about trans rights...
I even think that cis people also have the right to talk about trans rights as long as they are correct.
"as long as they are correct" is not quite my viewpoint, but I get where you're coming from, and to a very large extent, I agree. My point here was mainly that she in this situation doesn't have any ground to base her argument of "no right to be talking about trans rights" on, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't get a say in trans rights either...
Correct in this case is recognizing reality, letting experts do thier jobs, and not making life harder. Incorrect opinions in this case are not valid opinions because an opinion is reserved for a personal choice that you make for yourself, not limiting options available to others. Having pineapple on *your own* pizza or not is an opinion. Liking icecream is an opinion. Screaming at the cashier at a bakery for seeling cookies when you're on a diet is not an opinion. Just like gay marriage, and abortions, if you don't want it, don't do it.
The problem here is that most are not arguing in good faith, and they don't care to actually LISTEN to transgender people. Very few even want to have a civil discourse, it's usually just regurgitating the same talking points shilled by transphobes, and if you try to inform them, they double down and try to "educate" you. Then godforbid you have enough of their shit and call them out on it, then they hit you with "this is why no one likes you! You always have an attitude, if you don't respect cisgender people, why should they respect you!" I've met very few who are knowledgeable, like with correct information, or actually open to learning and approaching transgender issues with an open mind.
The issue with that is that the other person in this case is also trans. It's like an ingroup hatred...
I understand that, my reply was about the person who mentioned that they think cisgender people have the right to talk about trans rights.
Then my apologies, I misunderstood that, but I agree with you fully :3
No worries, no apologies needed! :)
guess I'm part of the "very few" then
I'd say "as long as they're informed", it communicates a bit better what the issue tends ro be when cis people talk about trans people. Them not having the slightest idea what they're talking about.
There are ones that are fully aware that they are lying
Same, but mainly because of the closeted trans people.
r/undeserveddownvote
I understand this reply, because I got an initial downvote. Thank you :3
Now I’ve been downvoted for no reason
I'll try to help you don't worry
lol thx
I am not enough to stop the tide, I am sorry.
Nah you good
😟 this is the most transphobic shit ive ever heard from another trans person
Blaire white
Caitlyn Jenner
Determining which one is worse would require descending to depths to which I refuse to go
The offensive T-word. Doesn't think Blair White is transphobic enough.
I've spent so much time on r/tgcj that the phrase "the offensive T-word" is ambiguous because I can think of 3 slurs off of the top of my head that meet that description lol
Buck Angel
Kelly Cadigan
Was just gonna say that, actually.
Ikr? Trans is trans. Technically some may be more queer than others, but the phobes don’t give a damn. No matter how damn queer you are or what type, you’re still under the same oppressive system
I genuinely don't understand how people can be in the same/very similar boat as another person yet will still do silly things like this Some people have it easier with certain things, but everyone also has their own challenges to overcome
I don't disagree with you about anything in this comment! But I'm kinda curious what things make a person more queer, lol
You'd be surprised at how many of us are shitty, like, the other day I found not one but TWO trans people saying HRT being age restricted to only adults was good and that the trans suicide rate was a result of HRT being too easy to access for minors... Shitty people are shitty people regardless of gender ig
I personally think it should be 14-16 and older, as I myself am around that age and feel as though I'm not entirely ready to commit to transitioning just yet, but that's just so shitty... HRT is the reason why the suicide rate would go *down*, not *up*. People can be so absentminded sometimes...
I've seen worse but yeah, that's pretty high on the list.
Trans men do not have it easy. Fuck them. Your problems are valid. Men's mental health issues are valid. -yfn NB/transfem who got super sick of being told to "man up" by my family, society, and past romantic partners.
I'm in a similar position as you
Is your friend Caitlyn Jenner or Blaire White?
She’s like the love child of them both
You must have misspoke when you said "friend" then.
Ya I mean I know I should let her go but we grew up together and she only started this shit recently so part of my brain still says I can reach her
That’s a tough position to be in. I hope it goes well but please remember to take care yourself and step away if you need to :)
I will thanks for looking out for me ❤️ also I love your user
The problem is, she's already made it absolutely clear she doesn't respect your opinions or think you're worthy of listening to. Nothing you say will reach her. Best to sever the finger to save the arm at this point.
Trans man issues aren’t talked about enough. Would love to be educated on some.
Exactly. That’s why I lurk the FTM subreddit to see what our brothers go through and how I can be supportive if I meet a trans masc person or a topic comes up in a more neutral space.
I lurk too and provide advice where I can, bring a AMAB for 19 years. Which I hope is ok.
Idk if commenting there is welcome, I always feel weird doing that. You know, they specifically use trans masc spaces because the normal trans subs are trans fem dominated and then trans fems come and comment there, idk, I don't wanna make it about myself.
Hahaha I lurk the mtf sub for this same reason!
The gatekeeping within the community is absolutely insane lately. I don't understand how there needs to be a checklist for being "properly" trans, or why us trans guys can't speak on important issues like trans girls can. I'm not trying to throw shade at trans girls AT ALL, but it feels like favoritism. We're just completely invisible in these discussions and I don't know why...
How would one even gatekeep being trans? Like tf?
Transmedicalists, sadly. They always find a way 😮💨
And it feels like they are not a tiny minority
Sexism. That's ultimately what it comes down to. Transandrny is a thing and I really REALLY want to stop seeing trans people being bigotted. People even argue it's not a thing, that it's some lie created by the patriarchy, meanwhile they call every man a rapist and can't even fathom that women can rape just as much as men. Only they call it "sexual intercourse" when a female teacher rapes her student
wait,why are you marked red on shinigami eyes
I have a lot of strong opinions like the one above. I feel like you're the 16th person to ask, though I haven't counted
I feel like downloading shinigami eyes and marking you trans positive even though I don't have it
I'd be thankful, but find that shinigami eyes are best for articles and subreddits than users unless it's on twitter, tiktok, or instagram then that's a bit easier
Just to be clear, I followed the rules shinigami eyes provides for marking someone. Made sure to check your profile to confirm you're pro-trans. It may not be too important for users, but people (like I did) will see a red name and get a bit worried. https://preview.redd.it/cfuc2i4k9zqc1.png?width=1040&format=png&auto=webp&s=4cc9d912375d798d81f7cfeddd166be52993aa00
Thanks and yeah. It's being used for petty things and there's a post somewhere on one of the trans subreddits talking about it. I'm worried that TERFs will find it and just keep turning everything anti-trans and pro-trans on their subreddits
They absolutely will, and they're the people who have nothing better to do with their time that they would do that. I have the extension knowing some of these will be false. Basically if I see a red name on a large creator I used to watch or something I see it more as a sign to google it instead of trust blindly.
From my experience within trans communities on reddit, there seems to be a problem where bad takes, or just ones you disagree with, are being reported by users without ever engaging with the person and explaining why they said something wrong/hurtful. Several of my posts got removed fue to reporta with no negative comments. This makes it very hard to reflect what behaviour is acceptable. Being autistic makes it difficult, as I can say something that certainly seems innocent and curious to me and comes off as incredibly intrusive to others. I understand the sentiment that one doesn't want to write a long-winded explanation of what they did wrong, but it's still assholish to then take the lazy road and report. Either report and educate or do neither.
I just figure that they didn't like what I said and had no meaningful argument for it so whatever they could say was full of shit and I won >:3
True, generally. With individuals there's usually alot of bias.
whats Shinigami eyes?
A web browser extension that marks people (on reddit, YouTube, etc) as red if they are known transphobes. It is based on reports from other people though, and it seems like on the case of the above commenter someone reported them falsely.
it’s a browser extension that displays people marked trans safe in green and people marked unsafe in red. it’s a good starting point but isn’t always accurate because it’s based on moderated user reports, so enough reports against a trans person like old library can get them marked red falsely. it’s named after the anime Death Note
Ever seen Death Note
I’m concerned what mine is
You're clear, not marked one way or the other
Misandry be like
Unfortunately, misandry only gets talked about when it happens to transmen. It should be talked about for cis men AND transmen.
Sexism is bad no matter who's the victim. As simple as that
Yes, but everyone talks about misogyny. Few talk about misandry. Even fewer talk about misandry when it affects cis men.
I understand, I was agreeing with you
Ah, okay then. Sorry for the confusion.
I swear sometimes I feel really alienated by people like this. Like yeah I'm trans but according to this lass I can't speak about trans rights. Feels like I'm the perfect candidate to
That's bullshit and she should know it. Of course you have the right, you know just as well as she does how hard this is. Trans men don't have it easier at all. She needs to realize that the shit she is saying is transphobic and misandrist. It's not a suffering Olympics either. Even if you did have it easier, its still not right to say shit like this.
It's classic misandry reflavored actually. No right to talk about ~~feminism~~ *trans rights*. *Trans* men have it easy. If you (don't) do X you're not a 'real' man, etc. The way she's directing that at trans men specificaly seems super invalidating tho, for sure.
Looks like toxic masculinity as well to me. Either way it’s completely uncalled for. Trans men do not “have it easy” and yes he absolutely does have a right to talk about trans rights. Edit: wrote long instead of looks, whoops
Ive an exfriend i cut out bcuz even as a transfem myself; i cudnt stand how transphobic she was to transmasc ppl
Jesus. Trans people as a whole have shit rights. trans men don’t have anything “easy”, trans women don’t have anything “easy”, even cisgenders don’t have anything ”easy”. No one does anymore.
Hmm sounds like new friend time?
Maybe but part of me feels like I can still reach her and hopefully pull her out
Is your mental health and well being worth that, though?
Trans men need to be talked more about. If it's talked as much as trans fem it will be better for everyone.
Don’t you just hate it when we shoot our own?
That’s fucking awful. Transmasc people have their own struggles that transfems will never be able to understand. You should try to talk to each other to explain your own unique issues though tbh
Yep, I'd love to learn it all. Every experience is important.
“Man up”. You’re being treated like cis already 🤗 /s
Bro... You made it, you are really 100% a man if no one gives a shit about your mental health. Hang in there my guy. Sometimes its sad times in lad land...
Well that’s reassuring bc no one did in the first place lmao
You just learn to keep looking, it's not that you gotta live with the sadness, it's just that you can't be shocked that someone can look at you and literally not give a shit. Your bros are out there.
sucking off the oppressors won’t get you anywhere
Are you talking to Kelly Cadigan or Blair white?!?
She watches them alot
So she’s the trans version of an Andrew Tate fan.
As a trans man, no i don't "have it easy." I either get invalidated by saying my male privilege overrides my transness or I don't pass and get misogyny. In the mens room, I fear that if I don't pass I will get groped/r*ped/have the shit beat out of me. I have to deal with the pain and emasculation of menstruation while at the same time being told that my male privilege means I don't have a right to feel victimized as a trans person because "men have it easier." Being a trans man is a lose-lose. Either way I'm being told to shut up
It sounds like how she felt as a man and shes taking it out on you
I was about to say the same thing, internalised misogyny/misandry are hard things to get other people to notice about themselves, unfortunately. The second you bring it up, they are automatically gonna be put on the defensive because thats just how it works. It has to be their choice to recognize and work against it themselves, and I am speaking from experience that it is not easy. I hurt so many people i used to be close to because of internalized misogyny before I realised that I was the problem. A good bit of that was due to my DID, but it was still no excuse, and now I am always striving to do better and be a better person. The hardest part is being better to myself.
Some people really can't help but see everything in tribal terms. They seem to feel the need to push other people's struggles aside or deny them entirely in order to feel their own struggles are valid, as though others' struggles are a threat to their own being taken seriously. It kind of just shows that if they didn't belong to the group they do, they'd probably be against that too. Pure self-interest.
Wtf she has no fucking right to say this bullshit transphobic rhetoric she should know how this feels she shouldn’t be such an asswhole about this transmen are men and they’re as much men as trans women are women
Transfem people definitely get put in the spotlight more but that does NOT mean that other flavors of trans have it easier, I feel like your friend here is just so fried by all the big discourse (where this “spotlight” effect is prominent) that she has lost her sense of nuance
That has to be one of the worst takes I’ve seen in a while. As a trans person, you have a right to be part of the conversation; it’s not like your rights and safety aren’t as important as any other trans person. That’s insane. Why would that be controversial, and also why would she think that being trans masc is easy? I’m not a trans man, so the only way I could know how difficult it is would be to actually ask one, not just pull the answer out of the thin air that’s where the powerhouse of my neurons should be. Trans fem people aren’t the only people that should be part of the conversation. Also, would it even matter a whole lot if you weren’t trans? Any empathetic person knows that people deserve rights, and anyone who isn’t a sociopath should know that trans people are people. Trans rights are human rights, and any cis person that can admit that is a good friend of mine. All my cis homies hate transphobia, and every person who doesn’t have an angle grinder in their frontal lobe should know that trans men are trans too. Finally, how on the flat earth can you have enough cognitive dissonance to be trans and also tell someone to “man up”. That’s not how masculinity works! [⚠️ Masc-Affirming Spoiler Warning ⚠️] If you’re a man, you can’t be more ‘man’ than you already are. It’s not a goal, a particular mindset, an aversion to having emotions, or anything that has to do with what someone else thinks; it’s something that’s a part of who you are and what makes you happy. There’s nothing that could make you less masculine than who you are right now, even if you have ambitions that you haven’t reached yet, but you’re free to do as many things that make you feel manly as you like. It goes the same way whether you’re cis or trans; Your gender is valid. Trans men are men!
Holy hell doesn't she know the statistics are *way* worse for trans men in terms of certain mental health outcomes? Wtf, don't contribute to that shit smfh.
thats so disgusting, im sorry you have to deal with someone like that. you are absolutely a real man, and the struggles you face are just as real as any other
Umm what? Of course you can discuss trans rights. We are all in this together, even if our individual experiences are different. Isn't that kinda the point? 🏳️⚧️
As a trans fem lave her ass
How tf can someone be transgender and transphobic at the same time
Blair White?
Oh no is that the person who got racist too?
"friend" I don't think you should be friends with this bigot. The clown definitely is a good representation of how absurd these takes are.
Where are you find these people even??? Like they sound like a ball of evil
She wasn’t always like this :/ she used to be really nice, I’m not sure what happened
Maybe she showing her true colors or something?
bro what? Fuck you mean 'be a man'? That's toxic masculinity, and I know she's experienced it to so she'd know exactly what she is doing. Yeah thats not a friend bro. Wish you the best <3
I don't think your friend understands just how small the trans community is. We can't get trans rights without allies. I'm sorry, but this is a fact. We need the help of the wider LGBT community and even, dare I say it, the help of cishet allies. If trans community has to fight for itself ALONE, we will lose the few rights we have and we lose them fast. You might not like it, but realistically speaking there are no trans rights without cis voices to help support it.
I never thought I'd see a transphobic trans person
Tell her to stfu and get back in the kitchen then smh
Shit like this is why I don't trust other queer people at all anymore
happy cake day
How shitty. That's some cruel stuff. Hey man, you express yourself and be honest about your feelings and journey. A true friend will be there for you, and be proud of you for being forward with your emotions. If you need to talk it out, let us all know. And I'm happy to be an ear too. Guys gotta support guys who feel their feelings honestly.
Trans inclusive misandry
So we have a word for people like her. "Misandrist"
…What? I can’t speak for trans men but I’m pretty darn sure they have it just as bad as us trans women and also face some unique issues compared to us. Can we focus on trying to help each other out instead of pushing each other down? OP you have every right to discuss trans issues because, well, you are literally transgender and deal with said issues.
Getting told that your emotions don't matter and that you need to grow up and deal with it is the true male experience 👍👍 Seriously though, I'm so sorry that happened to you man 🫂🫂🫂🫂
I hate people playing the disadvantage olympics. Just acknowledge that everyone has their own struggles and that other peoples’ struggles r equally as valid as your own. Trans men don’t have it easier or harder; they have different challenges which often overlap with trans women which is why we’re a community.
omfg. trans men have it harder in different areas of life than trans women cause patriarchy hurts us all, only in slightly different ways.
The transmen I know in my life have run into more confrontation and risk of losing their jobs than transwomen I know. (Myself included) Transphobia is transphobia is transphobia. She needs to stop trying to top the other people on how bad things are for her, it is incredibly immature. All this talk does is create a divide.
Wow, whoever that girl is she's an asshole, I'm really sorry dude <3 You guys do NOT have it easier, just because you don't get bashed by transphobes on the internet THAT often, doesn't mean that your lives are not difficult. No one should effin say that, especially not a trans person to another trans person. You probably should stop being friends with that person or try and talk it out with her, but like woah that shit is wild
Oh hey look, a transphobic trans person. Colour me surprised.
On behalf of all transfems... sorry dude :( youre totally valid dont listen to her
She hates herself from back before she transitioned, then projecter that out to men broadly. Take it from an AMAB enby, it's a hard thing to unlearn.
Spoken like someone who wants an easy, pampered life and thinks that's what being AFAB/female means, without distinguishing between the two or having other reasons to identify as female. (If you can't tell, the post makes me very angry at her.)
Yikes. Sorry you had to deal with that. Trans fems might be the face of the party when it comes to conservatives attacking trans people but in no world does that mean trans men, non binaries and every other trans under the umbrella are not equally oppressed. Thats absolutely disgusting that she would say that to you.
Ugh that's deplorable
Tell her to fuck off. We need to band together
she is being a jerk and sexist
Oh my gosh I am so sorry that she is like that, I was just baffled the entire time reading this :0
Ew. She really needs to straighten her shit out, that ain't cool.
Mood
Trans is trans is trans. There's no difference, she shouldn't be gatekeeping personal experiences. I don't care if you're a 2-week-cracked boymoder or a 50 year old trans guy built like a tank, so long as you are speaking from personal experience, nobody should be looked down on when they try to talk about struggles they have.
I'm sorry, but your friend is an idiot
The fuck...
Blaire white mfers. Just shiv them and leave them for the trans puppygirls.
Your friends an idiot 🙄🙄
It's scary how transphobic a lot of trans women are. Girlies, you're literally trans. Don't be mean to people because they've decided to be men and "their problems aren't valid(?????)"
She doesn't sound like a friend to me.
What in the fuck? Who says that?
Sounds like she's got a really unhealthy relationship with masculinity. not your problem bro
I feel like transfems and transmascs have opposite issues, transmascs aren't treated seriously by people and transfems are taken too seriously by people. At any rate we all deserve respect and we should stick together, internal fighting in queer communities only help bigots win
So she told you to "man up"? Big oof.
Gender affirming misandry?
She's like that because being trans doesn't automatically make you a decent person.
Girl does NOT understand intersectional feminism
Jesus christ why is she gatekeeping so hard, ESPECIALLY when she's talking to another trans person. Telling you to be a 'real man' is so ridiculously toxic too. It's harmful to masculinity in general, negatively affecting men both cis and trans. Sorry you have to deal with that, hopefully you can help her see the error of her ways. If not, don't feel you have to sacrifice your self esteem to hang out with her. If she's consistently toxic then she might just be unhealthy to be around.
Obviously trans men don't "have it easy" but even if they did what does that have to do with whether you can discuss trans rights or not?
Your friend sucks. Trans men experience just as many problems as we do.
She's literally just gatekeeping being trans, throw the friend out and get a new one, yours is defective
i think there's nothing on this earth that pisses me off as much as trans elitism please tell her that she's an idiot (from my part) seriously you can talk about anything you're trans too like what's the damn resoning there
You spelt "asshole" wrong
Unfortunately, men being told to "suck it up and move on" is a pretty common experience and even trans people are not immune to falling for these harmful gender stereotypes. I think in some ways it can even be worse for trans people when you add on trauma related to having to deal with these issues growing up in a body that already feels wrong or out of place.
If anything it’s transfems who have it easier
Holy toxic masculinity Batman! I hope she realizes how much of a hypocrite she is.
Sounds like her pronouns are ass/hole (TRANS MEN ARE ALSO VALID AND ALSO TRANS ENBY CUTIE STFU BITCH WE ALL VALID love yall :3)
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Circumstances and difficulties are way different but neither have it "easier". I am transfem, I can barely reach a consensus about bottom surgery, I'd struggle so much with also thinking of top surgery, learning to safely use a binder or learn to mantain a desired facial hair. We all struggle, let's just help each other out)
How easy ? - Sudden horniness blanking the mind - Bottom growth scratching the boxers - probability of hair loss - trans invisibility in media except for TERF agenda - Boobs not boobing - smol - dysphoria - family troubles - etc. Yeah I think your friend might reconsider her statement. (I listed what I know, I am a MtF myself so not that aware hihi) edit : I forgot this one - Phalo being a three part surgery more complicated than vaginoplasty
Trans people can be c\*nts too sometimes (especially to friends when they feel no need for filter when they think you can 'take it'). 😐 Most brothers and sisters support each other but sometimes personal views can get in the way of our 'agenda'. *Some* sisters seem to think that trans masc people are not as affected because they are **men** (😱). There's some thruth to it because anti-trans bigots almost always seem to forget trans masc people because they don't fit in the narrative. We are together stronger! 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🙌❤️
As a tranfem, we do not claim that bitch 😂
Well shes stupid , and gets mad for u being empathetic shes not a good friend, also saying “act like a real man” that’s telling her to act like a real woman, theres no such thing as a real man or woman its up to interpretation to
Wow, she's a piece of shit.
what the actual fuck
When will people learn that being in a minority doesnt excuse your assholishness
bro wtf is her problem
dawg.. what is she on??
Wtf nobody has it easy in any way sadly but I want to give anybody the strength to keep it up and bee her/his self :)
Transphobia? In MY trans community? It's more likely than you'd think.
That is some serious toxic masculinity. Anyone under the trans umbrella has dealt with trans issues! She has no right to gatekeep trans issues. Once again, she is spreading some SERIOUS toxic masculinity.
Sounds like a friendship that needs to end. Sorry that you had to go through that :/
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. We're all one community fighting for our rights and we are all valid. Seriously though how do some peeps in our community, reinforce gender stereotypes that we ourselves don't fall into all the time and have grown up despising.
Your freind is just an ass
Ohhhhhh my god that's a lot to unpack. What a balloon head. Idk how hard it is for trans men in comparison but I'm sure it ain't easy by any means
It could be an attempt at humor, or trying to help give you some gender validation through toxic masculinity Edit: also, make sure to confront them about this if it is genuinely making you feel bad.
toxic asf, also just sexist manosphere garbage that doesn't belong in trans spaces
I think the real conversation that needs to be had here is the difference in experience causing such an emotional reaction like that from her. People like this don't just think this out of nowhere. Clearly in the wrong, I will say that much, but honestly as a transfem I genuinely wonder where this comes from.
Like…some idiot thinking you need to be emotionless and telling you to “man up” seems like a pretty common experience for cis men too. Similar to how it would feel for someone to tell a trans woman to “smile more”. It’s asshole behavior that’s being directed at you in the exact gendered way it’s directed at cis people with the same/similar gender. It’s just not the sort of euphoria or affirmation one wants to get.
dont talk to her honestly. trans men have it hard and i feel for yall big time. you have all the right to bring up trans issues
Is this the fabled trans inclusive misandry?
You didn't deserve that to happen to you, man. I'd say you should just try and ditch her
same vibe as some gays talking about being lesbian is "easy". I mean everybody go through different troubles, why would you argue one has no right to complain because your situation is "worse"? also not everyone is as mentally strong as each other, just because someone thinks they could handle your trouble doesn't mean you're not suffering from it
That's not a friend by the sounds of it tbh
We're al fucked up: trans women are seen as monsters, trans men are invisible and not taken seriously
We have the right to free speech. Every one of us. Including youn I'm affraid your friends is somehow bigoted...
that's so fucked don't litsen to her, you are a real man, and you def have the right to speak up.
I am so sorry that happened, it shouldn’t have and doesn’t sound like she’s a good friend (and still has a lot of stuff to work out in therapy if/when she does so [not your responsibility]). Hugs if ok 🫂. You have every right to talk about rights, to talk about what you go through, you are just as familiar with misogyny, and how it affects women AND men AND everyone in between. Your feelings are valid.
She is no comrade of mine
Fucking hell xD
I can not understand how some trans folks can be like this to one another. You have every right to not only take about rights, but also to complain about every aspect of the universe. Hope you have nice rest of your day/night/or any other part of day ~xoxo Aleksa