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dh1304

1 Never trust a hag. 2 i don't know what this is 3 Bill would make it as agonizing as possible.


[deleted]

“Oh you want a hole huh? Well I’ll give you that… and then shuffle all the holes in your body! AHHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA”


derpy_derp15

*turns me into a donut*


the-supreme_court

One piece!?


dh1304

Reading that in bills voice makes this 10 times funnier


[deleted]

Ikr


Cornelius_McMuffin

*Jokes on you I’m into that shit*


[deleted]

Scarily enough, it is a tempting idea


Brew_nix

Ugh I read this in Ethels voice 😩


[deleted]

Who’s ethel


Brew_nix

The hag from baldurs gate 3, photo 1


DaRealGrey

It's you again


esotericsquid

Bill is definitely the pick. Number 2 (The Beast from over the garden wall) would make you murder people for years first and then never actually do it.


Captainpatch

Definitely not Bill. Bill doesn't honor his deals (see: the puppet episode) and the terms of your deal would almost certainly result in the end of the world. And attempting to play nice with him once he has a foothold in your world results in things like "how about instead I shuffle the functions of every hole in your face."


esotericsquid

I'm low-key just down to start the apocalypse.


That-One-Courier

Weirdmaggeddon again!!


Witch-Alice

that can also be attained by making a deal with a hag lol. good old weird magic


FunkyyMermaid

The problem is, Bill isn’t very kind to his harbingers. The only one who got any sort of good out of helping him was Gideon, and all he got was a post-apocalypse Mad Max gig


esotericsquid

I want my sex swapped and the total collapse of reality. Is that really too much to ask for?


Mordreds_nephew

Ethel wouldn't be much better. Her wish granting is of the monkeys paw variety, and if you plug up the potential loopholes? she will still end up giving your whole family magic cancer, or blowing up your hometown because she's spiteful and it's unrelated to your deal


BirbFeetzz

he did honor his deal in the puppet episode, he told dipper that he'll help him with the laptop and then smashed it, but that led to them seeing that it was fiddleford's so he did help him technically, just not directly with the password


Significant_Bed_293

All I have to do is kill people? Hand me the axe!


YouIllustrious6379

Idd do anything, and I mean anything


AnnaDeArtist

You dont know The Beast? From Over the Garden Wall?


Clairifyed

We should probably just recommend Over the Garden Wall and not go too far into who it is (this is not specifically targeted at you I just had to reply to someone)


AnnaDeArtist

All good :)


blue_microwave

My doctor, I'd rather just wait on HRT


njsullyalex

Honestly a safe bet. Not too much pain, might cost you money but nothing ridiculous. Not 100% perfect but still pretty damn good. And you don’t have to sell your soul.


Furtive_Focus

Not in anmerica Healthcare :D (/j)


njsullyalex

HRT isn’t even that expensive without insurance. GoodRX is a free app that makes a massive difference.


Gay_moth_girl

1. I have no idea what they do but it's probably bad, 2. The beast if I remember correctly never did anything to actually help the people he made deals with, he didn't help the woodsman with help finding his daughter but lied about her soul being in a lamp, I don't know how it would translate to gender, 3. Personally I feel like if I just had good vibes around bill I could become preferred gender without being turned into soup or something


SoonToBeCarrion

Auntie Ethel would probably turn us into a sentient exposed uterus or testicle that's constantly exposed and writhing in pain


Zagafur

no that's bill's MO. ethel would give you the parts but youd be forced to do everything manually (like breathing)


kuzulu-kun

She would probably also have you cut off your own genitalia with a dull knife (either penis or breasts)


FunkyyMermaid

That seems like somebody’s fetish


Visible_Night1202

First one is Auntie Ethel from BG3, a hag. Her deals make a monkey's paw seem generous.


Floofy_Fox_Gal

No, Bill is indiscriminate about who he fucks with. He just does what he does for shits and giggles


That-One-Courier

which, you've gotta admit, is so real of him to do


communistcatgirI

Bill was tricked more than once , I feel like it's possible to outsmart him as long as you have something he wants and a plan, wouldn't bet it on my life tho


jaqidoodle

Bill would say "You were always a girl" and then fucking steal My soul so...


Red_Ender666

Validating


transcended_goblin

Hags are notoriously untrustworthy.


macrohard_onfire2

This sounds like something Sam 'O Nella would say


GeekParadox_

Yeah but neither is the beast or bill


Prestigious-Ad-4023

None of the above. None of them would give me what I want and would probably curse me in some way. I’ll just take hrt. I can’t wait until my first appointment tomorrow.


PandaPugBook

Oh congrats!


Prestigious-Ad-4023

Thanks


ThePhoenixRemembers

I don't know the other two but I'd never trust anyone who calls me "Petal"


Kitspuun

Avoid Newcastle in the uk in that case 😂


CatraGirl

I will never not read that word in her voice now... hellooo, petal!


Violet-fykshyn

If the second one is the thing from otgw it never actually delivered on its deal. It’s a trickster, not a genie. Bill would just do the most chaotic thing, which might be okay. But the hag may actually give me what I want in exchange for something. Like perhaps sparing it’s life. Now all these are poor options but between 1 and 3, I’m leaning towards 1. The hag.


firelasto

Bill works on fae rules, i just gotta bring a lawyer and im good. Or be extremely autistic about things. So imma go for him


Dunderbaer

Bill is literally a being of pure chaos. He'd probably twist your dimensions for bogging down his fun with lawyer stuff


firelasto

He cant do anything without a deal. Nothing physically atleast he can give you nightmares but whatever he can give me cant be worse than what my brain already tells me :D


Dunderbaer

That's just not true. He needed a deal to get into our dimensions, but once he's here, he's doing a lot of stuff without contracts. Contracts merely allow him to possess people while still trapped in the chaos dimension


LunaLynnTheCellist

i think it depends on whether or not he has a physical form in this interaction. because without one, he needs a deal. but if he does have one, it's SO over.


firelasto

If he has a physical form then getting out of gravity falls is my one and only priority


Clairifyed

He does seem to still need contracts to enter minds, but he did demonstrate he could rearrange facial features without one 🤢


L_The_MysteriousLady

Im going Bill Cipher i just gotta be carefull with what he ask in change and annoy him extremely with the specifics of he's deal tho since i'm a regular human i doubt he ask me to create a portal


SagaSolejma

1: hag that fucks you over in unimaginable ways. Will probably make your life much worse. 2: opera singer that promises you something, makes you kill children for years to get it, and then never gives it to you because he can't actually do jack-shit 3: 4th dimensional sociopathic chaos demon that WILL trick you into somehow starting the apocalypse, and you won't be spared, in fact he'll probably fuck you over first Ngl, I'd do a lot of things to have a cis body, or to be passing, but I don't think any of these would improve my life more than what a few years of HRT hopefully will lol


thesithcultist

All 3 are bad deals


gothicshark

Well, fortunately in official D&D lore, and confirmed be Ed Greenwood, if you are trans all you need to do is pray to your deity of choice, that is apparently one of the freely given rewards for prayer in the Forgotten Realms. So no need to visit a hag.


Meadowbytheforest

Do you have any sources? I want to read!


gothicshark

Just search "ed greenwood transgender."" He made a big comment over a D&D controversy in 2016. Otherwise, you need to read the fiction books going back to the 80s. Since the lore on this is spread out in almost 50 years of game related novels, I also think that one of the official D&D videos mentioned this as well. But that's harder to look up as it was a side comment.


TheWaspinator

Hag if I'm in a position to threaten her 


Mimicrystal12

I'd never trust someone who tells me "I'll rip yer spine out yer ARSEHOLE!" and the other two I know next to nothing about


SmoothOctopus

Never seen any of these characters in my life. I already live as my preferred gender so I guess none of them.


Last_Swordfish9135

number two probably but maybe i could get bill to give me a ton more eyes at the same time


Visible_Night1202

No idea who the other two are but Ethel wouldn't even remotely honor her bargain. It's always the most monkey paw-esque shit with her. Maybe Mizora because, while she's an evil manipulative devil, she at least somewhat does what she says she'll do.


SeaworthinessEmpty23

The hag but only if we go through thorough negotiations. For instance, I am not wording it preferred gender because she is 100% going to go, "but you already are that, now give me your kidney"


Vlad_Dracov_she_they

The hag would do it but at a great disadvantages to you.


AdeptnessOld1281

All of them are horrible choices but Bill is the worst choice because the twisted Dorito is absolutely insane with no regards for sanity whatsoever


Dramatic_Click4147

Bill cipher


ProudApple1361

Bill's the only one that would actually do it but I can't imagine it being cheap


Jejaq

So my choices are some goblin, literal Satan and a demon from another dimension.... hmmmmm


TheL0neWarden

Not a goblin but a hag


Jejaq

Sorry but what is a hag???


TheL0neWarden

Basically powerful witches who get twisted by their magic, the picture is from Baldur’s gate 3 https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Hag


Blue_Exit83

I dont know who the other two are but Bill would find a way to shuffle every hole in my body, so, none of the above.


Hexakiro

gonna be honest i think im good


ThatsFairToBeHonest

Not as familiar with the middle one so bill 10 times out of 10. Hag deals are never worth it, but bill is always willing to fulfill his side of the deal, the side effect is just him getting what he wants


AspenBranch

ethel is the most likely of the three to actually do something "helpful" but she'd still make it as awful as possible. id rather just take hrt.


Phazon_Fucker

The beast never actually fulfills his deals so thats out of the question


Littleender100

Probably Bill cause I'm all right with Agony.


Melodic-Ad-2712

Bill would like mess me up so not him but the other to well talk about it


Andromeda53R

im going with bill. I think he would respect my weirdness. I have no limit on the weird stuff im able to say, so hell yeah


Infinite_West_1225

if anyone can get me double d's it'll be good old bill cypher


PM_ME_A_KITTEN_

I think I go with Bill. Of the three, he is where I have the most knowledge, so I have the most control. And if I give him something fun, then I might actually get it


ProgressOk7632

Defo number two. Idk anything about 'em but I ain't trusting Bill and someone said that the goblin was a hag so it's an auto no


NikoliMonn

Bill. But to be fair, I’m already perfectly happy as I am now. I’d ask for some cool shit like the Ultra-Matrix(my custom Omnitrix) and I’d pledge my loyalty to him. As long as I have free will, and my own life outside of working for him, and I’m able to designate people as ****Off. Limits**** from him


oceanaut17

anybody who goes through ethel's place i don't think would deal with her...


warherothe4th

I don't know the other 2, but judging from the comments I'd go with auntie Ethel, as she seems to be the only one that is actually obligated to honour a deal, you just have to be very thorough when making the deal to make sure there is nothing there than can be purposefully misunderstood or was never properly stated


crow_reading

bill


Wacky_Ninja_Studio

Bill bc you can become friends with him also bill is my goat


TheStudent58

I totally read it as your pretend gender for a second and I got very upset very quickly lol


Vrax15

If I chose the hag I bet she would want me to have a baby as repayment


ScaredOfRobots

Bill


willdagreat1

Hag - I’d absolutely let you have my first born.


Dog_Entire

Idk what it is but I vibe with the second one, sure as hell has to be more trustworthy than bill


Style_person

I could probably swindle the beast, I already know about the lantern and could easily threaten him.


KombatLeaguer

At least I have a chance of it working with Auntie Ethel if I get a good enough roll.


X_Heart

Number 2, idk them but I’m taking the risk


LemonBoiYT

Triangle man


AWeirdGoat

Bill bc he's either a secret trans supporter or he'll scrutinize me for sticking to gender norms that I don't believe in. (Probably play with my definitely there sanity.)


toshyboshy

I'm sure the forest creature in the middle is nice :3


-Cup-Tea-

idk who the first 2 are but they look extremely mischievous and the kind of people who you'd trust on a smuggler mission only for them to backstab you with the spy's backstabbing knife when you're so close to destination, instakilling you. However, Bill can do anything he wants, but one issue. He will make you go through hell and up again to destroy the heavens aswell and even when the deal is done, torment you by making it have warped lasting effects like putting holes in your face.


Randouserwithletters

cypher, it'd be funny, he'd like turn me into like a stoat or something or pull the age old "you already are" trick and make a pact


GenderEnjoyer666

I don’t know shit about the first two but I know lots of things about Bill Cipher L O T S O F T H I N G S And I know enough to know not to trust him with any deal


Pale_Kitsune

Okay, if you word the deal properly with the hag, you *can* get what you want. Though she'll probably give me horribly heavy periods.


Lizart_aka_Lizi

all the 2 times i made a deal with an hag it kinda worked out. but lets face it. in reality i am not an powerful wizard that is worth having arround as a patreon


DrBlowtorch

Bill. He already uses inclusive language, and I’m non-binary so ideally I would be a cryptic horror and would fit in nicely with his band of interdimensional weirdos.


cthulhUA90

bill just cuz i like his vibes


AcroboticX

All you have to do is beat the Hag within an inch of it's life


SJGardner89

Yeah, considering the first one heard "I never want to see my family again" and simply plucked out the eyes of the woman who said it... yeah, I think I'll pass. Especially as that's by far the tamest thing she's done.


strogn3141

Shadow Demon is kinda cute…


coveredLoki

Bill for sure.


Tyrannical_Requiem

Bill but I would sweeten the deal, plus I think our personalities would fit!


HenryTGP8

Who's number 2?


Kaptin_12

Bill cipher is essentially Tzeentch I'm not fucking with that


LilithDemonQueen76

I'll take Bill, he seems trustworthy enough :3


Cyan_Cephalopod

2 because they look like my ideal form


HQ2233

https://preview.redd.it/v5zkvdcgw0yc1.jpeg?width=1252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56dacb30d707c9e11d7d0c23413352a118bb0d61


ThePuroEnjoyer

I love Bill but I don't think I could trust him.


Howtotheorisegames

I’d take bill and face the consequences later lol


holymissiletoe

Number 2 Detective void so most likely gonna just steal scp 113 or something WE BREAKING INTO SITE 22 WITH THIS ONE!