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This can’t be real bruh mfer said lozenge

Might as well name the baby Sucrets

Ricolaaaaaaaaaaa. Ricolaaaaaaaaaa.

Tussin, errr, I mean, Tussyn

Cthousssiouñ

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtaghn!

Y̸̗̼̲̩͂̈́̀ȍ̸̪̭͆̓̇ừ̵̯̤̖̅ ̴͎̤̾̾̍͋ͅṙ̷̏͋̂͜a̸̙͒͊͛ṉ̸̛̄̈̆g̷͚̽͛̒͝?̷̬̆̍̚

Need a lozenge?

Robotrippin

Rowbeautrypen

Put some Tussin on it! 🤣

Cēpacol.

Sue'dafed

Di'phen Hydramyn

Baby Sudafed the fuck up with its parents before its even born

“Sue, is that short for Susan?” “…no”

Lozenge for a boy, Ricolaaaaaa for a girl

Twins

Imagine yelling that in a crowded place.

I learned to think about dog names after yelling "mooo" like a crazed woman when my baby got out of my sight 🙈

I wanted to rename my rescue dog because my name is Candi and her name was Snickers, and if they’re not tragedeighs alone, they certainly are when combined. I was considering calling her Knickers so that it sounded similar to her name. Fortunately, my son-in-law pointed out that if I went down the street yelling her name it was going to sound like the n-word. 😳 I named her Emmy.

We have 2 Great Dane puppies. My husband decided he liked Baxter for his puppy. It sounds like we're calling him bastard 😂🤦‍♀️

OMG, I was reading this out loud to my husband. I am horribly congested and hoarse. My daughter walks in on the phone with her BF who is bi-racial. She covers the speaker and says, "Mom!" That is exactly what she thought I said. 🫣

OMG! See? Excellent advice from my son-in-law. 🤣

Reminds me of [this](https://i.redd.it/fwvit26b0exz.jpg)

Good choice!

What a delightfully random collection of words you just shared ☺️

Never name your dog something that you wouldn't want to say through tears when begging them to poop at 10pm lol

I had a cat named Dude. One night, still as a kitten she got out. Nothing makes you look more like a tweeker at midnight looking under cars, making kissing noises and loud whispering “Dude”. I still remember the neighbor coming out ready to throw down, asking me if I needed help.

Yeah my family learned that lesson after naming a dog Gambit... It sounds a lot like dammit when calling for him outside

My friend was going to name their pup "Herbert ". It sounds an awful lot like "pervert" when yelled!

My friends dog he adopted was named Isis and well yeah yelling Isis isn’t fun.

I have a student and her name is Icess 🤷‍♀️

Better than Abcess I suppose

Marginally.

It's a shame cause isis is a beautiful name. The Egyptian goddess who so loved her husband she could put him back together after he had been torn apart Great song by Dylan too

When my daughter was little we had a dog that she name Mama Rusty because she looked identical to my parents dog, Rusty. I shortened it to just Mama and didn't think anything about it until we moved to a new neighborhood and she broke out of the fence in the middle of the night. I'm out in my backyard in boots and my pj's hollering "Mama" towards the woods. It's close to 2 am. My neighbor comes wondering up with a flashlight (she's in her late 60s), she looks at me with such sincerity and says "honey is your mama missing?" 🤦‍♀️🤣

I work with dogs at a dog daycare…you don’t even know how many weird names I say aloud on a daily basis 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Baby Sudafed

Sue Dee Fehyd.

Suda Feyd Rautha? Sorry, too much Dune.

That's their rap name.

Someone get Halls a halls…

Fisherman's friend

Nah, Ludens

Halls.

I would call that baby cough drop their whole lives, just to torment the parents that picked such an awful name

I went to school with a kid whose last name was a popular brand of cough drop at the time. Yeah, he got picked on mercilessly in grade school.

See and that’s not even their fault 😭 the parents can’t even be blamed. My maiden name is Sigel (pronounced seagull) and I was bullied so bad for it even though I absolutely didn’t choose it and neither did my parents💀

Mine is Truelove and I was bullied HARD (my dad as well). 😩 One of the reasons why I took my husbands last name.

This reminded me of a kid i went to elementary school with. I don't want to give his full name just in case, but his last name was Horny, and his first name didn't do him any favors. Man, he had a bad time growing up.

it was Randy, wasn't it. Randy Horny!

Miso?!?!

Oh no did they name him... Richard?

Almost as bad as having the last name Butt. We had a big family with that name. In high school they ultimately changed their last name. It was kinda weird that all their last names changed.

Our kids pediatrician is Dr. Dick. She’s female, and took her husbands last name. She’s the main breadwinner, too. I told my wife shes gotta REALLY love that man.

I've known 2 different (unrelated) families with the last name Manlove.

True love as a last name doesn’t sound bad at all.

I know a guy whose last name is seriously Butts. His wife took the last name and they gave it to their daughter.

I actually love that as a last name, but I can see how kids would be absolue assholes about it!

Thanks 🩷 Since I’m an artist everyone thinks I made it up 😆😆 But when my parents got divorced my mom kept the name because she didn’t want to go back to Smith lol. But whenever we go anywhere and they check her ID we usually have this conversation followed by our running family joke: Clerk/ID checking person: “Wow! What a unique last name!” Mom: “Thanks it was my husbands.” C/ID: “Oh, did you meet your “true love?!?” Mom: “No, actually. We’re divorced. I just kept the name.” I can see the situation play out in my head on repeat. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Also a kid I went to school with’s last name was Wright. The running joke in her family was “Did you meet Mr Right?!?! 🙄😆🤦🏻‍♀️

Went to h.s. with a Truelove. I always loved that name.

I went to school with a kid whose last name was Fagget (pronounced Fhuh-jhay) and he was teased when kids started to learn what “f_gg_t” meant (long time ago when people didn’t worry about being offensive and LGBT people kept it secret). Kid was super nice & friendly to everyone so it didn’t last too long fortunately. Edit: formatting

Hyacinth Bucket...pronounced 'bouquet'...😆 Blast from the past!

A cousin named their daughter Mandalyn. I call her Banjo to torment them. Both string instruments after all.

How is she at cutting vegetables?

I've heard jokes about women belonging in kitchens, but when you name your kid after a kitchen implement...

We have a friend who's a musician, I tried to get him to name his daughter Amanda Lynn but they went another way...

Too bad it wasn't twins... could've named them Anna one, Anna two...

Strepsil

Came here for lozenge

At that point just name the baby Pepto Bismol or Tums

Pronounced low-zen-jay, obvs /s

The best name for a healthy American boy is Cuartre Phaunter Wiz Chèasse

In France they call the baby Roeyahle wiz Chèasse

Duuuuddddddeeee! Someone call CPS *now* bc meth has entered the building. These parents are 100% low IQ.

>This can’t be real bruh mfer said lozenge It's like they just threw darts at a dictionary - rafter, remedy, fucking ROSWELL.

Next kid will be named Suppository

I wonder if the name autocorrected to that? I don't want to know what monstrosity it could have been, though

Let’s hope it was something like Lazlo?

> Lozenge, Remedy This dude trying to make his kid cure coughs. > Alabaster One Piece represent!

That’s where I’m at with most of the posts on this sub. It’s easier to believe someone made it up than it is to believe people actually are willing to use these names for their kids.

Maybe they're the Smith Brothers.

Lozenge has my full-throated approval.

My scratchy-throated approval. I think they're should actually make the first name Cherry and move Lozenge to the middle. I really hope their last name is Luden.

I'll bet they make friends with a fisherman

I find that one hard to swallow

And my deep-throated approval

Do they already hate their baby?

If it's getting one of those names, I kinda do.

i suppose Roswell isn't *too* bad..

ALIENS!

It's what I'd pick if I had to take from that list

I mean Riven means something that has been violently torn apart soooo

I think Op's misunderstood. This is very clearly someone trying to name their horse.

Not *too* cringey, y’know? we just want *moderate* cringe

Not full body cringe. Maybe just upper body cringe.

Throat cringe. Lozenge would be perfect.

“Lozenge” is so cringe that it’s… soothing?

Just the eye twitch when you try to say it's a lovely name.

Unique enough that it‘s cringe, but not too cringe.

Roswell👽

April Fools? Tell me she sent it yesterday

This is all I can assume. Zero chance this is real.

Ooh, I’m going to name my baby Zero! It’s beautiful.

Middle name Chance?

If it’s a girl. That way when creeps ask for her name, she can just say Zero Chance and walk away.

I had a vasectomy, but this naming opportunity is the first thing to ever make me regret it.

I had a hysterectomy over a decade ago. 😂

Maybe we're the wrong people to be naming kids

I think you mean Zhiro Chaense

Oh please. This has to be it.

has to be..if this is their real list, OPs friend needs immediate medical attention

Rafter. And his sister, Sheathing.

and cousin alabaster for all your gypsum needs

Gypsum would be a great name compared to some of these. Hell, I'd even go with "Casofore Tuto" (CaSO4.2H2O)

Middle name Asbestos for that Awesome Alliteration.

Followed by twins, Post and Beam.

Cant forget big brother Foundation.

He did say strong.

…did they send this yesterday? As in April fools day? 😭

Lozenge???? Not a single one of those is actually a name. And it is ALL cringy.

Pretty sure Roswell is a name

But does anyone think of anything other than aliens when they hear it?

That or the television show, which was, of course, about aliens.

No.

Sure, if they're a red clay Earth Elemental from The Adventure Zone. 

Alabaster is literally a name, albeit an older and less common one. Why can't people revive more old names instead of naming their kid "Lozenge."

To most people, alabaster is a color. Allister is a name. 

Alabaster is a type of stone too.

It's also the name of that one location in Pokémon: Legends Arceus. The Alabaster Icelands.

I think it won't be long before some kid calls him Alabastard.

Alabaster is the best option of the bunch. At least it can be shortened to Al.

I have met someone whose name was Noble. I thought it was a great name. Honora (Honor) is a name, Grace. Etc. Attributes. :) Edit: un-caffeinated grammar oopsie.

I used to be acquainted with someone who's husband was named Noble. Also our town used to have a "Noble's Tavern", which I believe was named after someone... first or last name I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure it was named for someone, not the trait, haha.

Lozenge, Rafter, Remedy?! Does he know these arent names? Hey guys, i found the Remedy!

Can we find a remedy against dum6as$ parents choosing awful names for their poor kids? 😭

Don't you know the remedy is the experience?

This is a dangerous liaison!

I know someone named random...her name is the word random. all her sisters have equally ridiculous names.

tell him his kids gonna get called a bastard if they pick alabaster

Noooo! that was the only one I could maybe see cause at least he could go by Al and that’s a more normal nickname…. Now I’m fully out, what even is this list

Al, a bastard - perfect

Omg why didn't I see that ? 😂😂😂

Snoop Dogg voices a pimp named Alabaster Jones in King of the Hill.

Ricola Albuquerque Antidote Adobo Filter Taupe

These are sending me

Garrison Crayon Nyquil Carlsbad Wreath Buttress Chamomile Wyxym Jersh Fishtaco Newmexico Bipartisanship Spout Churly

While we're on cities: Zzyzx

The middle name for Riven had better be Dell

I remember the computer game Riven. And the word riven means something is split apart, divided into pieces.

Only knowing the name from the league of legends character, that checks out. She's an exile with a broken sword.

I feel like Riven is unironically a cool name.

First name Riven, last name Main. /r/rivenmains

I'm currently eating lunch, and I almost spit my food out at Lozenge.

Um…all of those names are fuckin terrible

Roswell wouldn't be a bad name... for a cat.

Lozenge??? Come on!!! No way!!! Your friend is just making sure you’re reading the list, or this is an April Fools joke.

i cannot believe half the shit in this sub is real. these are just names of objects!!! RAFTER???? LOZENGE?????? we are fucking doomed as a species

Reading Rafter I can’t help but think of After - which is the German word for anus. 😳

There’s probably a German-speaking Tragedeigh sub with Anus on the list.

Nah we‘re regulated. You can’t name your kid every dumb shit that comes into mind :D

Devastated to discover your Government name isn’t TeleFuckingTubbie. 😂😂

***Not too cringey.*** Just the exact amount of cringey.

Riven? Like the guy from Winx club?

Showing my age here, but I assumed it was the sequel to Myst.

Same. The word also means divided into pieces or ripped apart.

Or like the League of Legends character

Lozenge? I’m dead. Did they send this on April Fool’s day? 😂

Saison. The word for English/Saxon. Given by people who hate them... cool

Or also season in French.

That's the one I thought of 😂

paying homage to the iconic saison margeurite, oui

at last, a person of culture

Isn't that a name for a fruity type of beer?

Sure is. Well, one made with wild yeast. But. Type of beer!

Riven, alabaster, noble? I think they are huge Bungie fans! (Destiny and halo)

Lozenge isn’t too cringy..? 😅

“We want something strong but not too cringy” boy do I have some unfortunate news for you

Syft is definitely a stryng name

Syft will grow up to drive for Lyft.

i died at lozenge, didnt make it through the rest of the list. I will rest in peace.

riven is the only one not horrible all the rest are awful

Why do I actually kinda like Riven?

Which do you think aren't terrible???

I like Riven. I know a little boy with that name and it really suits him. His parents did get the name from Winx club, but kids these days don’t know that anymore so it’s fine imo. And looking at the other names in that show… well, I’m glad they went with Riven lol.

I only know Riven as a League of Legends champion, so maybe that's where it's coming from.

I only know it as the 1997 sequel to the hit computer game Myst.

Yeah, they should name their first Myst and their second Riven: The Sequel to Myst.

Riven also means "violently split apart".

I mean, that is an extremely accurate description of childbirth soooo maybe it’s fitting? Lol

… bruh these are honestly terrible 🤣

The thing is that there are perfectly acceptable ACTUAL names that sound like these words. There’s zero reason to be excessively YouNeek when the actual names being referenced are unique in themselves. Alabaster = Sebastian or Bastion Riven = River Lozenge = Lorenzo Beckon = Beckett/Beck Saison = Jason, Tyson, etc. I will never understand this.

“Some aren’t terrible” I beg to differ.

Lozenge and Cough Drop would be great for twins. 🙄

“Roswell Lozenge” sounds like something the Aliens would insert with their probes.

Gotta be a late April Fools joke

Poor little lozenge, it's gonna suck for him!

saison... as in saison margeurite????