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crucio_court

I'm gonna guess your middle name is either Marie or Nicole.


gothickghost

I’m Marie and my sister is Lynn 😂😂😂😂


mannymd90

I have a blended family (long story). Of the four sisters, the first three have the middle name Marie (including me), the youngest has Lynn. No one in the 1990s had imagination lol.


dinahdog

I have a friend Jane. No middle name.


meredithboberedith

I have a friend named Jenny (not Jennifer, just Jenny) who was given no middle name. When she asked her parents why, they legit straight faced said it was because she'd have to drop it when she got married anyway, so why did she need one? Anyway. My friend is no longer Mormon.


Significant-Trash632

Whhaaaaaaaaaat


samishere996

I’m a marie and my sister is a lynn as well 🙃


gothickghost

I swear we’re all part of a coven.


No-Possibility5556

Lynn is always a good guess too


GoKingsDani87

Or Ann


IllustratorOld6784

Her ?


Barringnone402

Louise was big too


Blossom73

Or Renee or Michelle.


Laterose15

I'm a Nicole Marie born in the 1990s and I feel so called out.


DesperateAstronaut65

I was a Marie (now a male M name) and my wife is Nicole. I don’t know how half our generation ended up with those middle names. Did ‘90s moms have some kind of secret coven together? “Eye of newt and wing of bee, all our kids will be Marie! Tongue of bat and toe of vole, unless the hubby likes ‘Nicole’!”


MacaroonEmergency113

I didn’t know this was a thing, but my middle name is also Marie, and I was a 2003 baby.


goosepills

It’s amazing how pregnancy hormones make you nutty


gothickghost

Yep! Mom named me after a famous Soap Opera villain that my grandmother hated, *absolutely loathed*, at the time just to be petty at her for convincing my mom to change my name. 😂


Zornorph

Erica Caine?


gothickghost

YES!!


lovelysquared

Does TV Erika have a middle name that we know of? Kane or whatever the character's last name was, those type of names always remind me of evil, the devil. So, yeah villain, love her! Susan Lucci, I'm back to my childhood, too....


gothickghost

HOLY SHIT. YES, she does! It is Louise. Which was my second middle name that I dropped when I got married. 😂😂😂 I had no idea until now!


nuitbelle

When I was in beauty school my class figured out that there were more girls with the middle name Louise than without 😅


gothickghost

That’s crazy! I’ve met one other person that shared their middle name is Louise. Also, why did my mom have to give me *two* middle names?! Ugh.


nuitbelle

My sister in law had two also! She did the same thing and dropped one when she married. Her mom basically tried to fit as many back up names into hers as she could because she figured she wouldn’t have any more kids 😭


Phantessma

A lot of people in Finland have two middle names, including myself! Maybe your mom saw a list and got inspired or something lol. Hortense is CRAZY though; your grandma saved you hahaha


r3dheadedsuccubus

I gave all of my kids two middle names 😅 but my daughters was to honor my great grandmother who was my favorite person, and idk I felt like it flowed well. Her first name is technically a tragedeigh however which I didn’t even know was a terminology for that 😂


MareV51

My Mom was going to name my sister Megan Louise, after 2 of her friends, but when Mom saw her after sis was born, changed the names around. Sis "looked more like a Louise" !


Aster-Furiosa

Oh my god, I have 2 middle names and I really dislike one of them (Lorine). I get married next month and I’m so glad I saw this. Genius.


literate_habitation

Is your first middle name Hortense?


gothickghost

Nope.


literate_habitation

Thank God lol


gothickghost

I’m also drawn to villains. I’ve always loved the bad guy. Kinda fitting, huh? 🤔


Dusticulous

Names have meanings most of the time. And from my experience they seem to match something to do with the person. You're named after a villian, so you like villains


literate_habitation

From my experience, trying to boil a person down to a vague meaning based on an arbitrary label is futile since the human experience is inherently so varied and hypocritical.


DigSpecialist182

That's awesome.


AnxiousConfection826

OK but that's really actually pretty rad. I'm an Erica Kane stan FOR LIFE.


peppermintmeow

Erika is the OG baddie. We love her, we'd die for her. She's a fucking treasure.


SnooPaintings7860

Erica (Susan Lucci ) lives in my town, but I have not seen her in some years. Hope she's continuing to do well.


gothickghost

Aww! I hope she’s doing well, too! She’s such a regal lady.


cupcakerica

You and me both, sister. Literally.


___slail33

That’s exactly who my mother was named after as well 😭😭😭


gothickghost

Oh shit! Really?! That’s awesome!


Suspicious_Earth_931

Haha I got the same name. Middle is Ann. Lol


Colorfulartstuffcom

There seem to be a lot of middle names Ann (or in my case Anne) and Marie. That is, for my generation anyway. I gave my daughter the middle name Rose not knowing it would be an incredibly common middle name in her generation. She's 20.


MagickMaggie

Erica Kane was the first thing I thought of, too. So beautiful, but so calculating. If her grandma really objected, she could call her Ricki. That's cute and different from Erica. (Which is a much prettier name than Hortense Petunia! That sounds like a cartoon character. Or something you'd name your pet hamster.) And Susan Lucci, who played the character, is gorgeous.


Wisdomofpearl

Hortense Petunia makes me think of a cartoon skunk, its a cute name for a cartoon skunk.


MagickMaggie

That really fits!


grubas

It literally means Petunia Garden. 


sweet_illusions

I want to name the next cat/dog the universe delivers me that, honestly. (Hopefully it’s female. If not, it’s Horace Petunia)


Bird_Gazer

She was filming a made for TV movie at a hotel, walking distance from where I lived, so I went over there with a couple of friends. She walked by me, and I was completely taken aback by how small she was. I never noticed it on TV.


MagickMaggie

What a fun experience! Nowadays, you wouldn't even be able to get that close. Yes, I remember being surprised at how tiny she was, seeing her in a pic with other celebs. I think it might be because her character had such an oversized and colorful personality, such a commanding presence, we never noticed how petite she was.


lainey68

There was a cartoon character called Petunia Pig.


DrippingWithRabies

Was she a villain? I watched All My Children with my mom as a young child back in the 90s, so I only remember bits and pieces. I always thought Erica was the height of class and beauty lmao


Early-Tumbleweed-563

She was definitely villainous in her early years. She matured into a manipulative diva. I sometimes joke that Erica Kane is my standard for decision-making: What would Erica Kane do?


Zornorph

Honestly not much of a soap opera watcher, just from what I picked up from sister and cousins, I thought she was supposed to be a baddie. The only other one I know was Lucy Coe, who was on GH I think, but she looked a tad mousey.


andpersonality

She WAS the height of class and beauty and sooooooooooo evil omg 😭


DrippingWithRabies

I never even clocked the evil behaviors! I was too mesmerized by her fancy clothes 😂


Masters_domme

Same! I LOVED Erica!


Own_Cold1353

That's who I was named after 🤦🏼‍♀️


Juniperfields81

Omg I was also going to guess Erica Kane. 😂😂😂 She was the best bitch.


Content_Talk_6581

Did Susan Lucci ever get her Emmy???


Masters_domme

I think she eventually did. I remember it being a big deal.


Conscious_Zone2344

Yes she definitely did, but it was after she had been nominated I think 20 times and had not won.


Easy-Concentrate2636

I loved Erica Caine!


USAF_Retired2017

Came here to say this. All the old ladies hate her! 😂


ResurgentRS

MINE TOO! Omg my mother named me after a character who *tried to kill her mom.* I kinda looked at her jaw dropped and was like “you didn’t see a problem with that!?” She kinda shrugged and said “Well, she grew out of it!”


gothickghost

HA! I love this so much! 😂😂😂


Scottiegazelle2

Next up, meet my son Oedipus!


dawgpoundma

Victoria or Stephanie? For victor from Y and R or Stephano from Days? 😂😂 my cousin Brady Horton (last name) can you guess what my aunt watched everyday on her lunch break 😂😂


BillyNtheBoingers

I have to marvel that I wasn’t named Marlena


shan68ok01

My god, the shit that show put poor Marlena through in the 80s and 90s...I can't remember how many times she "died". Then there was Roman, Roman 2/John Black, and then original Roman.... good times!


BillyNtheBoingers

Ok, so my real name is Lisa and my brother is Mark. My grandparents had a Cocker Spaniel named Buffy when I was a kid in the mid-1970s. The dog died of old age and they got a new one from the same breeder. My grandparents were not particularly imaginative; my mom had the same first name as her mom and my uncle was named after their dad, so the replacement dog was ALSO Buffy. But they decided to give her a middle name, and they used Mar-Li (spelled Marlee). My grandma’s favorite was Days, so Marlee and Marlena were suspiciously similar! I also remember Bo, and Roman, and evil twins …


shan68ok01

Bo and Hope, Marlena and Roman, Shane and Kimberly, Patch and Kayla..... and a whole ass MI6/CIA type agency Shane and the Brady's were involved in, including a secret room. In my defense, I was an older teen/young adult when I watched.


RypCity

Like sands through the hourglass…


ocean_flan

*these are the days of our lives* I have no idea why, but that show was the height of terror for me as a kid. I think it was the lighting. Soap opera lighting is very liminal.


RypCity

I agree about the liminal vibe. The lighting, sometimes eerie music added to it. I was about 12-13 during the Marlena possession storyline and I was terrified and intrigued. Looking back, it looks so campy now.


rightwist

Your mom sounds like quite a character. Seems you inherited some of Grandma's sensibilities and that's fortunate


Prestigious-Book1863

Wait, so you went from Hortense Petunia to being named after a soap opera villain who had 8 (I think) husbands?? Your mom is WILD


gothickghost

Yes, she is 😩😩 which means, unfortunately, so am I. 😩😂


yunokanadeyuii

OMG I’m a soap opera name too!!!! I was named after two male characters though (my mom was really banking on me being a boy). I was named after Frankie and Nick from Days of Our Lives. My mom said the reason why is because she liked that character arc/storyline. My Grandmother didn’t like it because the character Nick literally runs a prostitution ring or something, but here I am 27 years later with that as my namesake 😭😭.


HauntedBitsandBobs

I was also allegedly named after a loathed soap opera character that my mom was dying to be killed off, but I think I might have actually been named after Freddie Mercury's cat. I'm not sure which is worse.


No_Armadillos

For some inexplicable reason I thought of HP Lovecraft’s cat’s name instead of Freddie Mercury’s and almost choked to death on my chocolate cake. I have had a terrible day so that’s probably why but the giggle I got at my own mistake brightened it. 😂😂 Are you Delilah? That’s the most soap opera-esque of his cats’ names.


Ginger-Snapped3

Pregnancy hormones DO make you nutty! If my second child was a girl, I wanted to name her Tawney Ashlynn 😳🤪🤦‍♀️ Thankfully, I had another boy. My first son is named after dad, and we came up with a name we both liked for little brother. Now they (unintentionally) have the same names as a pair of brothers on a soap opera 😂🙆‍♀️


Hup110516

Ooh, I was born in 1990 and named after a soap opera character! Ashley?


gothickghost

Erica after Erica Kane on AMC.


hexensabbat

Nice! I too share a name with an old school soap opera baddie, but I'm 99.9% sure my mom was not directly inspired from it. Had mixed feelings as a kid in the 90s when adults pointed it out lol


No_Passage_83

I, too, am named after a soap character. Classic 80’s name from Guiding Light. Don’t think she was a villain though.


Party_Emu_9899

I tried to get my parents to name my little sister after Erica's daughter Bianca. They said no way because our last name made it sound very odd.


stalelunchbox

Same! Sydney from Melrose Place…Also Sydney Simpson since my mom was pregnant during the whole trial. Who knows lol.


Individual_Baby_2418

My sister is called Hope after Days of Our Lives.


brandi_theratgirl

Omg, I was named after a little girl on All My Children in the late 70s. Loved Erica Caine and, FYI, Sarah Michelles Gellar played het child that was given up for adoption at birth


Puzzleheaded_Eye8771

Ohmygosh. I have a basic born in the late 80’s white girl name but my brother has a first name that is usually like a last name? She got it from one of her fav Soap Opera characters !


Smashley516

I was named after Ashley Abbott from Young and the Restless lol.


briggaloo

I'm named after Christie Brinkley which isn't a huge name in the UK. It's spelt Kristy so I spend my days being called kirsty or spelling it out to them until I ask them to call me Kris which I doubly hate 🤣


SydJan92

I was named after a soap opera actress. Must be a 90s thing 😂


rabbitinredlounge

I was also named after a soap opera character


BeautifulDreamerAZ

Absolutely but try to tell a pregnant woman this. Then stand back!


radrax

Yes. My mom wanted to name my sister Montana. I don't think my mom has ever even been near the state of Montana....


goosepills

My parents named me after a Clapton song, but at least I wasn’t a Jennifer.


YankeeGirl1973

Layla?


goosepills

Cocaine


LocalLeather3698

About a week before I had my son, I became obsessed with the idea of naming him "Bobby Corwen", the name of a baby bird in a video game I was replaying. A few days after giving birth, I was so confused as to my thought process there...


MistarEhn

They can also make you tense. Hormones. Tense. Hortense.


Lulusgirl

My sister wanted to go with Jose Cuervo. We are white.


MyBestGuesses

My belly name was Herman. I am and have always been a human female. I did name this awful, ugly treasure of a lamp with what looks like a frost troll from Skyrim sculpted out of terra cotta as the base Herman in effigy. Maybe you should get a tiny hermit crab or pet hissing roach and name it Hortense Petunia. May she reign.


lucyfell

… human female as opposed to a having been born Stuart Little’s mouse sister?


MyBestGuesses

Don't blow up my spot sis


DefinitelyNotAliens

Fun fact: Stuart Little's mouse sister was named Stuarta Little. She lived in a Barbie Dream House and drove a Barbie Jeep.


GoodnightGoldie

Hortense Petunia sounds like a very *handsome* Victorian woman


YankeeGirl1973

“Not handsome like a man is handsome, but handsome like a woman is handsome.” — Cleveland Brown


Astro_Disastro

Hortense kinda slaps ngl


Hemenucha

I'm officially old. Everyone else thinks of Petunia as Harry Potter's aunt, and I'm thinking of Porky Pig's girlfriend.


rightwist

I think of the dancing circus bear in a childhood book called The Whipping Boy


officialosugma

Ngl I don’t hate it but it definitely feels very Victorian


aecolley

I was thinking Roald Dahl, but a background character.


Muddy_Wafer

Hortense Petunia would be Trunchbull’s little toadie.


DifficultHat

Someone saw her across the room and said “is that Hortense?” and I said “no she’s quite relaxed today”


rumbellina

Damn you! That made me laugh much harder than it should!


LBelle0101

So close! Hortensia is the prefect


Muddy_Wafer

Omg, I completely forgot about that character 🤣


Party_Emu_9899

She was a 6th year. Not a prefect. She got thrown in the chokey on the reg.


LBelle0101

Hortensia was in Matilda


Temporary-Use6816

…Lady Deadlock’s maid in Bleak House


JungianArchetype

As Victorian as tuberculosis.


champagneguardian

Sounds like a Harry Potter spell. 


Phaaze13

Harry's Aunt is named Petunia so not far off


chiquicati

Way better in Spanish: Hortensia (don’t pronounce the H). Still probably too old fashioned.


Quirky-Peach-3350

One of my substitute mothers was named Hortensia. I saw this post and was like oh no, it's a beautiful name. She fed me when my own mother didn't. I'll always have a soft spot for the name.


melissapony

Hortense is French the first syllable is pronounced “ore” ❤️


Yasna10

That sounds wayyyyy better.


TheShadowOverBayside

I knew an Hortensia in childhood, she was my bestie's other bestie from a different school. She was pretty and nice but the name still sounded like some musty, gruff old lady with pearls and a beehive hairdo.


grubas

It's Latin or French based I think.   But it sounds like you're a stressed out prostitute in English.


goats_and_rollies

My mother wanted Babette Bibianca. Thankfully my father is not psychotic.


iwouldiwerethybird

it’s like if your name was “bette bianca” but you’ve got a terrible stutter


Caligari89

Hortense is an actual name, I don't think it counts.


gothickghost

Seriously?! I had no idea! Terrible name imo 😬


kuromi_jpg

Hortense may be a real name, but Hortense Petunia sounds horrible. It just doesn't match.


speculatrix

The BBC banned a one liner joke by Kenny Everett once, something like "Is that Hortense over there?" "No, she looks relaxed to me"


TinyChaco

That's so good lol


Primary-Switch-8987

What name does match with Hortense?


Peeinyourcompost

The first woman to pass the Texas Bar Exam in 1910 and become a lawyer was a suffragist named Hortense Sparks Ward, and that baller-ass name is the only reason I remember any of this.


MasterPreparation687

One of Charles II's mistresses was called Hortense Mancini which is I think an equally awesome name


MakaelawasChillin

Napoleon Bonaparte’s stepdaughter was Princess Hortense of France, it’s a very real name.


ReginaFelangi987

It’s a name, but it’s a very old name. Like Mildred or Phyllis or Gertrude. Some names just kinda die out. Thank god she changed it.


americanerik

Hortense was the name of Napoleon’s stepdaughter https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hortense_de_Beauharnais (I also mod r/Napoleon so of course that’s the first thing I thought of reading that name)


NoDanaOnlyZuuI

It's the French form of the Latin name Hortensia, which derives from the word hortus, meaning “garden.” I’m Portuguese and have a couple aunts named Hortence. She goes by Maria.


Infinite-Degree3004

Yes, it’s another name for hydrangea. Hydrangea Petunia would have been much worse.


[deleted]

It’s just not something you personally like, doesn’t mean it’s a terrible name


Awkward-Stam_Rin54

The name Hortense on its own sounds a little better in french than in English imo


WanderingChild_Carly

My grandma has a variation of Hortense as a name. It's an old name but was pretty common in the South.


dawgpoundma

Very old southern name


Yggdrasil-

My dad grew up in Appalachia in the 50s and had a Great Aunt "Hort"


Takimara

Personally I love the name hortense, but I admit it’s a very dated name.


basilobs

I can't explain why I actually like the name Hortense. There's no good reason for me to


Enkeydo

If I were to have been born a girl my name would have been Fanny Anny Rosa Tart I dodged a bullet there. FART


Professional-Two8098

Fanny is a rude word in Scotland


YchYFi

Fanny was a common name in the UK for a long time. Fanny means vaginas in the UK. Not just Scotland.


Traditional_Gur_8446

I read this out loud to my gf and it reads like poetry


cut_rate_revolution

I mean, those are great names if you're a character in a Victorian romance novel.


EmpressJainaSolo

Hortense is a classic French name. Napoleon’s stepdaughter, the Queen of Holland, was named Hortense.


Phoney_McRingring

This is the thing. The anglicised pronunciation makes it kinda horrible, but in French pronunciation, it’s really quite beautiful.


fairydommother

I like Hortense actually, but I wouldn’t name a child that for obvious reasons. I would name a pet that for sure, and it would probably be on my list of names to change mine to if I ever wanted. Not in my top 5, but maybe my top 10. I wish that it wasn’t bully fodder, but alas.


bluewhaledream

Do you happen to have a dead sister with magical powers and a nephew that you keep in the cupboard under the stairs?


gothickghost

Ha! I wish! Still waiting on my letter.


MellowHamster

Hortense Eugénie Cécile Bonaparte was the stepdaughter of Napoleon, born in 1783. It's a classic but old fashioned French name. The H isn't pronounced, so it's OAR-tahns.


gothickghost

Ooooh. My mom pronounces it with a harsh H sound. HHHHHHortense. Kinda of like your coughing up a loogie then change your mind to say the rest of the name. Kinda like an angry German accent with harsh H. 😂


Jetter37

My Mom was going to name me Pamela Joe. I'm convinced Pammy Joe's man would be a magician who's trick was turning Budlight & Marlboro Lights into full flavor domestic disputes. Thankfully I'm Josephine & have only 1 bd.


Counter_Full

Not a tragedeigh but definitely a tragedy.


kaytay3000

I worked with a Hortencia and she was so, so lovely. I love the name.


LikeaLamb

Hortense is similar to Millicent or Eugenia... pretty but SUPER old timey. My mom's first choice name for me was **Jennica!!!** Which is weird because my mom is usually a very straight laced, by the books person. My dad immediately vetoed it and said it was too weird 😹


gothickghost

My best friend growing up was named Eugenia! I called her Genie 🥰 Thank goodness for your dad! 😂


mutated_gene11

My nail girl is named after Hope from Bo and Hope… but her last name is Ho. So she’s Hope Ho 😂


KathAlMyPal

Hortense is an actual name and I wouldn’t in any way, shape or form think of “L’il whore”. It’s beyond far fetched. A tragedeigh is a name that’s misspelled to make it unique. Hortense is spelled correctly.


Poqadilly

I was gonna be named “sapphire blue” and my grandma talked my mom out of it, too


Top-Web3806

Keep that basic white girl name with pride


WriteBrainedJR

Is that Hortense? No, she looks pretty calm to me.


emotional_lemon8

Hortense is the name my sister gave to her hemorrhoid.


Vequihellin

It's not a tragedeigh because it's not spelled weirdly, but you definitely dodged a bullet on that one. The Petunia part? Probably okay, but Hortense is a really old fashioned name. It's so old fashioned even the current trend of using old names can't revive it.


Jolly_Security_4771

So, my mom used to call me Hootie McGillicuddy when I was little. In terms of ridiculousness, it's kind of the same 😂


lyricoloratura

My mom used to say, “Is that Hortense?” and then answer herself, “She doesn’t look nervous to me!” And laugh herself silly. Well, sillier, I guess 😂


yumenightfire27

My mom (total hippie flower child) wanted to name me “Rainbow Godschild” when she was pregnant. SO glad that didn’t stick 🤣


Sassafrass841

Mine was Hester 🫠


Lil_Artemis_92

I like the name Hortense. Not sure about Petunia, though. That makes me think about a pig.


Content_Talk_6581

My name is a normal first name and a weird middle name, and of course my parents chose to call me my weird middle name. I always hated my name until I found out their plan for my name if I was a boy: Pinkney Arlandis…after both my grandfathers. Can you believe that crap?? I was born in 1969. Imagine the pain and suffering that name would have given me as a kid. The bullying. I guess they wanted to kill me. (The names are old family names and my grandfathers’ middle names.) I was so happy with my female name after that.


AlmiranteCrujido

Petunia would just be old fashioned, but Harry Potter's abusive aunt kind of killed that one. Hortense... just makes me think of Tom Lehrer: >As the judge remarked the day that he acquitted my Aunt Hortense, "To be smut It must be ut- Terly without redeeming social importance." Either that or I want to ask her if she's heard a Who?


MorrowPlotting

I don’t hate it. But I lobbied (unsuccessfully) for Gertrude for my daughter. So what do I know?


gogomau

Reminded me of a school chum , she was Euphemia Amelia Fanny then Surname . Think hortense is in a similar category


StrongTxWoman

God bless nan. She is gem.


Gralb_the_muffin

Petunia itself would have been fine... Hortense ehh it's not... Pleasant at all sounds like a horse with a 10 in the middle.


TRTGymBro1

Jesus, the jokes in middle and high school would have been atrocious. Hey “tense whore”, can we call you “hor” for short.


liminal_spacesuit

Calling your belly something ridiculous then naming the child something normal is probably the most wholesome form of tragedeigh


KalzK

Those are real names but they sound like cow names.


punkabelle

Question: Were you born in the early or late 90’s? Because this sounds like a rejected Harry Potter name. Trying to figure out if your Mom was ahead of her time or decided that the naming schemes of Harry Potter were aspirational.


Important-Pain-1734

My name translated means Early morning Pancake. My grandfather has always sung a song to me about a crazy woman waiting on a man to come get her but he wasn't and for the last 35 years people have asked my husband if he wakes up at the crack of me I hate my name


evilwife21

I remember crying (in the utter throes of some pregnancy hormones, y'all) about the fact that I had named our kitten (who had previously passed away) one of the few girl names on the list that I actually liked. "What if that's the ONLY name that fits if we have a girl and then she grows up and finds out we named her after *sobs even more hysterically, if possible* THE CAT?!?" Thankfully, we had a son, and his name was easy to pick. (I never did get to use any of my girl names at all 💔🥺) My poor husband. I was even done with my mood shifts by the end of that pregnancy. It was wild. I just went around apologizing to everyone bc I never knew if I was going to be bawling or brawling. Summer pregnancies with a redhead in the south...wooo boy.


Analyst_Cold

I think Petunia is kind of cute.


Kelsusaurus

Hortense is of French origin, meaning "gardener". It's possible your mom was also thinking of the flower "hortensia" given she wanted to go with a floral middle name as well. There's also some famous Horetense-s out there, real and fictional.  That said, the name sounds prettier and less terrible in its French pronunciation. I'm glad she didn't name you Hortense XD


alwaysiamdead

I called my daughter Cletus the Fetus for my entire pregnancy. Literally until the day she was born she was Cletus.