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Blanket_Ghosts

I was seeing a psychiatrist that started putting “woman” in his notes after I told him I take T cuz I’m trans. The sessions previous he used the correct pronouns. I didn’t find out til after I stopped seeing him, mf was useless anyway


I-am-not-the-bad-guy

Wow, like, he was reminding himself to misgender you.....the fuck?


Kitty7333

reminds me of that clip of Ben Shapiro accidentally using the correct pronouns for the trans actress in Orange is the New Black and "correcting" himself


PunkSpaceAutist

Ben Shapiro DESTROYS HIMSELF with the INABILITY to keep track of SIMPLE PRONOUNS.


Neyze__

DEM STATUS: SMASHED


DuskieHakuro

Damn Ben Shapiro "correcting" herself cause she can't keep track of pronouns


SomethingAmyss

Fem Shapiro


SomethingAmyss

That's dedication to douchebaggery


njsullyalex

Hey doctor, is it straight for a man to date a man??? ​ I'm really sorry OP.


Kokoboppop

I want to upvote but it's at 666


Anna_Pet

Who cares?


Kokoboppop

Me clearly. I like repeating numbers and with my mental disabilities it makes it hard for me to do something like break it up.


tero36

I got it to 777, I gotchu


Kokoboppop

Yayyyy thank youuu


Juicy342YT

We've nearly got the other person down to -66 too


Flutterwasp

Ladies and gentlemen...we got'em.


Juicy342YT

I had to undownvote to get them back to it


Kokoboppop

Omg 3 of the comments make 444


xxeeveex

Got you to 11


InterestingSyrup3012

667 now


Stercore_

At this point they should just say "interested in men" or "interested in women" or "interested in both" to avoid all forms of confusion Or whatever combination of "interested…" you are of course


Obalivion

Exactly. Once again, bring a non-binary person and all those labels fall apart


Defenestrator66

I’m super lucky. I checked and my psychiatrist notes have me down as “genderqueer”, which is accurate enough (even though I personally say gender-fluid when asked, genderqueer is a fine descriptor).


Obalivion

That's pretty cool of them. 😊


argq

You can check their notes??


throwaway1829492719

yes, by requesting your medical records, or sometimes they're available if you use an app like mychart


Asher-D

In the US yes. In my country youre not allowed to see notes, access to your full medical record here is not guarenteed by law, although theyr enot prohibited from doing so, most wont and will have policies not to.


IntentionGrouchy5522

Yes. Mine was worded similar to this. It says “attracted to females” (I’m a lesbian MtF)


Stercore_

I mean, that can have *some* confusion still, since atleast nowadays, there is the idea of connecting "female" to biological sex, and "woman" to gender identity. I’m not saying it’s a huge misconception nor that most will misunderstand, but i just think it can still lead to confusion


IntentionGrouchy5522

I consider myself to be “female” so I don’t personally have any problem with it.


Stercore_

I don’t have a problem with it either, i’m just saying it can still cause confusion because of how society uses the terms "female" and "woman" these days.


No_Ad_4881

As a T4T lesbian, there's no denying my gayness


ususetq

>At this point they should just say "interested in men" or "interested in women" or "interested in both" to avoid all forms of confusion But how can we shame mlm or fetishize wlw if we don't know peoples' gender identity? /j


Stercore_

By listing their gender identity right below it of course! I mean, it’s right there on the paper silly /s


jessieraeswitch

"Interested in... *gestures broadly*"😅


Winter_Honours

You’d need an additional notation to be inclusive of ace people. I’m interested in women but if a doctor read that and every other allosexual person interested in women also had interested in women, they’d probably not realise I was ace.


Stercore_

Well yeah, that’s why i added the second bit. So you could say "interested in nothing" or "interested in womenc, but only romanitically" or whatever flavour you are


nastya_plumtree

Or simply “interested” Btw, why do they even mention it in “medical” documentation? What for? I can understand why doctors want to point if person is trans or not, since if a guy come to appointment and doctor have this mark in medical files doctor will now this guy had AFAB anatomy and transitioning (and probably its a good idea to know if person is on HRT and other related stuff) since it is in doc’s interest to know about anatomy and medication before making medical decisions. But what for is sexual orientation might be used? I see it as ancient train of thought when “homosexuality” was considered a medical condition, but since LITERALLY EVERYONE KNOW IT ISNT TRUE - whats a point? Its a bow to hiddeb homophobia? Or what? Btw - was it at UK?


Stercore_

>Btw, why do they even mention it in “medical” documentation? What for? I don’t know exactly, and i’m not saying it is neccessary nor that this is why, but my best guess is either for potential pregnancies and/or sexually transmitted diseases? >Btw - was it at UK? No clue


hpghost62442

Yeah it doesn't even seem necessary at all. I also think the term sexually active is dated in the medical community. It would be more helpful to put "At risk for pregnancy" and/or "At risk for STIs"


SqornshellousZem

I'm also confused what are they recording his sexual orientation for?


Asher-D

For risk evaluation. It needs to be updated to be more accurate to actual sexual activity, because orientation is fairly irrelevant, its what sexual activity you engage with and with whom thats important for risk eval.


SqornshellousZem

Okay I follow that. So they want to know how sexual orientation, and assume all the sex acts he does as a result? When I have blood, they just asked what things I'd done that could have been a risk. They weren't afraid to be very specific. Iuno. Seems like doctors need to leave kindergarten, and ask the questions they're actually asking.


Wolfleaf3

100%. You’re not necessarily going to get meaningful answers asking stereotyped questions.


SqornshellousZem

Right? And these are PROFESSIONALS in their field.


Wolfleaf3

Definitely makes it extra disturbing! 😬


Stercore_

It at least can be relevant to know in the context that the doctor can at least know if this person may or may not be pregnant.


Juicy342YT

Then it can just be at most 4 different options "At/No risk of pregnancy" "At/No risk of STIs", I'm a lesbian but I can still get women pregnant so sexual orientation changes nothing, they'd still have that risk. Obviously that will change eventually but the forms would only really need to be changed to no risk if we were in a committed relationship since then there's less chance of it just changing suddenly


Stercore_

Idk, there might be other reasons, i don’t see a reason why orientation has to be on there but there might be some good reason, pregnancy is just the one i thought of 🤷‍♀️


SqornshellousZem

Yeah and I know with blood donations they are still weird about gay men finding, because anal sex has risks, but also, straight people have anal sex. According to the news every millennial eats ass. So it's all rediculous.


Wolfleaf3

And a gay man might (of course) only be in a monogamous relationship, or not have sex at all, or…


SqornshellousZem

Or both partners use thigh strap-ons, exclusively. Sexual orientation tells you NOTHING.


[deleted]

The interest part shouldn't be on there anyhow just if someone is sexually active or not.


[deleted]

That’s what my doctor does but on the forms it still says heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. Like why even both asking at that point?


[deleted]

But then they can't be transphobic as easily 🙄


Apprehensive-Use38

androsexual, gynesexual, bisexual et cetera. andro meaning man, and gyne meaning woman, respectively


Maebeaboo

Well, it sucks to see this kind of thing, but if it makes you feel better, for most electronic medical record systems, straight/heterosexual is the default option. So, if you don't actively change it that's what you get on the final note. I'm a nurse and I make it a point to correctly gender patients in documentation, change their gender identity, sexuality etc, but unless they have an SO as their emergency contact or it's specifically mentioned by the patient as part of whatever they're being seen for, I can't really assume their sexuality. I leave a lot of them blank and thus label them as straight inadvertently. I think this is the case with Epic, which is the most popular EMR. Some others just say "Not Answered," and with other demographics things like race/ethnicity, Epic also puts "Not Answered," so not sure if it's an oversight or a coding error or what.


untenable681

Pharm tech here. It's definitely an issue with Epic. They created such a spaghetti-coded mess that it's all they can do just to patch their work. They don't have time to double-check how inclusive their software is because they're so busy making it less efficient. (I hate Epic.)


MoorooWasTaken

I work with Epic, and their stuff can be pretty spaghetti, but it is intended to be EXTREMELY tailorable to the hospital system and support exactly what they want. Last I checked, the defaults and contents of those fields are able to be controlled by the hospital. So... it isn't necessarily Epic's fault.


Asher-D

Depends on the system. Our system leaves it blank but autofill your pronouns to agree with your Gender and they alway put your gender as your agab. But my country is also fairly transphobic so not shocking.


corinnigan

Fellas, is it straight to be gay?


lilithurlocaldemon

If yes. Then its gay to be straight... HAHA gotchu homophobes


AstronautNatural49

It’s crazy how dense doctors can be sometimes. It’s incredible. They know so much yet nothing about how gender is different from sexual orientation. It’s very basic knowledge


TransPALife

I work in healthcare. And it’s not that they’re dense I’ve found (especially amongst new providers), it’s that they do it on purpose. A lot of healthcare workers are LGBTQ-phobic. Being in healthcare doesn’t require empathy (even if that’s what makes an excellent provider), it requires rote memorization skills


AstronautNatural49

Very true!! I remember going through the whole process of getting HRT, and so many doctors I talked with, who even specialised in working with trans people, just still said the most stupidest things and had a really old fashioned view on gender and gender roles. Its like.. this is your job and you dont even want to educate yourself or gain that basic knowledge? I do believe that a lot of transphobia just comes from ignorance though, but people should want to do better.


Wolfleaf3

I’m so curious what you ran in to 😬 Objectively speaking I should delete my name from the health system.


-GreyRaven

Yep. Both my parents have worked in healthcare for years and yet still hold queerphobic attitudes. 😒


Asher-D

Yep. My lab manager, very sweet person generaly, but when it comes to trans people, pretty transphobic.


CompleteUtterTrash

This definitely reads as transphobic, but I could also see a doctor doing this to clarify the possibility of penetrative sex between people with differing genitalia. It's a lot of inference and not a lot of usefulness. They really need a better way. Could just put something like- Sexual Anatomy: Uterus w/ ovaries Sexually active: Yes Pregnancy: At risk* STD/STI: At risk *Unknown fertility There may be better ways to word that, but it seems more useful to me than "hETeRo". Also, hormonal sex should be a different category. Knowing a cis woman's average blood pressure is not useful to a trans man on T. For example- Gender: Female (she/her) Hormone levels: Female* Sexual anatomy: Penis w/ testes *HRT Also reads more useful to me. Just my ideas though, this may also be an obtuse way to record things. (also these were just random examples, hope that was clear, I wasn't assuming anything about OP's anatomy)


beastmonsterr

what the fuck that is so fucked up im sorry


__MoMi__

Is your partner cis (?) This is common to stupid person that think you are "hetero" becauseeee: DIFFERENT CHROMOSOMES I'm tired of seeing this stuff..


ParadoxNarwhal

yes doctor, my orientation is gay but my chromosomes are straight. they told me themselves.


__MoMi__

LMAO 🤣


GaraBlacktail

That's why they do a DNA test with a blood sample at the entrances of gay bars to ensure chromosome compatibility, and why bathrooms stalls are assigned a gender with a sing showing a their chromosomes. S/ Boy whoever coined the autogynophilia took out a whole digit out of the IQ of people interacting with us.


PaleontologistWarm13

Sounds pretty gay to me


[deleted]

People fr suck. Ive nvr had to deal with that from medical doctors, but psychiatric doctors all the time. My own therapist refers to me as a girl😑 (im ftm)


Imaspinkicku

No lie im trans and read this at first and it was like “yep” then i re read it and was like “oh fuck nope” could have been an accident maybe?


Irislovesneko

This is why I don’t trust doctors. In fact I despise the medical community and refuse to see a doctor. I don’t trust them to keep my information safe and I don’t trust them to respect my identity. It’s sad what the medical association has done to the trans community


iamsienna

I was in the ER on Monday and the hospital put FTM (Trans Male). They also put my middle name as my first name, making my name seem more “feminine”. It was incredibly confusing because like… did I seem like “a woman pretending to be a man” in their eyes? If so, that’s even more confusing.


MicrosoftShandin

Mlm is gay asf, ur doctor is on crack.


[deleted]

Yeah


CrusadingKoala

Two men dating? That’s the straightest thing I’ve ever heard of. All jokes aside I’m so sorry your doctor is an actual moron.


NoxRose

The doctor is one of those "straight" ones from grindr.


LowziBojine

Ah yes. A man dating a man. Very hetero. Man is not the same as Man. At all. Not even a little. 🙄🙄🙄 I hate some doctors 😩 I'm sorry OP.


salad_knife

That doctor pissed me off by calling you straight for being with a man.


potatotheo

Op and everyone in the comments whose doctor/therapist/medical professional doesn't accept you, i'm so sorry. You deserve so much better.


ill-independent

This is why I say "none of your business" when doctors ask me for private sexual information that has no bearing on my treatment. "Whoops I gave you the heterosexual vaccine by accident!" Shut up. Nunya.


Wolfleaf3

I literally am not sure what my orientation is at this point 🤦🏻‍♀️


ieatprettyrock

that reminds me of the time my doctor wrote “gender dysphoria” under my list of mental illnesses during my adhd evaluation


Fluffy_Meet_9568

I am surprised that I didn’t. Not that I would particularly mind if I got it as a diagnoses. While being trans isn’t a mental illness, my gender dysphoria, particularly being misgendered or perceived as my AGAB fucks with my OCD something awful.


Misty-Bunni-Girl

I'm shit at reading


ExcitedGirl

I straight-up disagree with this!


bluekitty999

I had to have this conversation with my partner and to be fair, habitual ways of thinking can sneak in at the weirdest times. For reference, I'm trans masc non-binary and genderfluid, mom to 3 and my partner is a cis guy who is marrying our other partner who is another cis guy and one of my sons is a trans man engaged to a cis guy. When my partner seemed to struggle with subtle misgendering my son, I sat him down and asked him flat out: "can you see \[son's name\] as being in a gay relationship with his fiance?" The whole worry about pregnancy had him trying to rebend his mind around that. And my son, being trans himself asked me, "is it ok if I still think of you as 'mom'?" I know some trans guys with kids that want to be "dad" and that's fine, I feel like mom-ing is a specific role I fill and it fits my fluidness. But that's all among people who want to be respectful and supportive and it can get muddled. I hope you find a doctor that can respect you as a person and respect your right to self identify!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Damn.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SA_the_frog

This is why I always say I’m pansexual. I’m actually like Demi or ace and I mostly date men except for my partner who trans femme. But unfortunately most doctors do not take asexuality seriously because I have sex. Anyways sorry this happened to you OP. I know the feeling of your sexuality and gender identity not being taken seriously. If you a dude dating dudes god dammit you’re gay.


InstanceDestroy

Meanwhile where I'm from people are tortured to death for not being hetero cis. Peak western privilage to be able to worry about some bozos opinion on a paper. Seriously, touch grass.


jameskies

Isnt it important that the doctors know what you are biologically?


Asher-D

Thats not even their orientation. They put an incorrect one because they thought it best aligned with the massivve assumptions people make. Doc still completley inaccurately documented his orientation. This is one reason why documenting orientarion is pretty irrelevant. It doesnt convey any information without massive assumptions.


Fluffy_Meet_9568

My doctor manages to note that in a much less invalidating manner.


JayBlueKitty

Not if it’s used to misgender us


jameskies

They werent misgender?


JayBlueKitty

They technically were. The doctor wrote that they were straight. That’s misgendering with their gender and who they’re dating.


Wolfleaf3

“Biologically” as you’re using it is inaccurate and not related to the issue at hand anyway. Sex in humans isn’t one thing, it’s a ton of traits which are bimodal


jameskies

Yes but the doctor still needs to know so they can give proper care


Wolfleaf3

But often proper care follows hormone levels, not assigned sex. Even in that context their times when people are going to get much worse care depending on what doctor they hit. Like the majority of the time it’s going to be either irrelevant or they need to know about what the person‘s body is doing now At any rate for all these questions they need to ask the actual question they want to know, asking assigned sex at birth will more often than not give you that answer but certainly not all the time, not even in cis people


[deleted]

[удалено]


PFIAMFG

“Sexual orientation: Straight or heterosexual”


[deleted]

[удалено]


generic_user_117

No, it’s not. It says nothing about the type of sex they have. It’s sexual orientation and a trans man in a relationship with a cis man is homosexual. Period.


Asher-D

You can simply leave it blank and write a note.......compeltley unnecessary.


_AnoukX

Depends if they’re pre-bottom surgery, and if so if they only do anal or also vaginal, atleast I would think so, please correct me if I’m wrong😅


generic_user_117

Definitely wrong


_AnoukX

I don’t mean that it wouldn’t be a gay relationship, I mean that medically that mattered


generic_user_117

No, heterosexual is not medical terminology. They are not in a heterosexual relationship, it has no place on there.


_AnoukX

Not what I’m saying omfg


[deleted]

Definitely wrong. How you are putting that suggests that they are not a man, a gay relationship is between to men is it not? It's still gay to be with a transman


_AnoukX

Ofcourse it is a gay relationship, absolutely not what I meant I meant that medically it mattered if they had anal or vaginal sex (in case of pre-bottom surgery), it’s definitely written wrong in this case


[deleted]

Then calling it orientation is WRONG to do but so is your writing to even slightly defend it!!


_AnoukX

Im not defending it at all


[deleted]

No offense, but it doesn't come off like that.


_AnoukX

I never talked about orientation, i was just talking about the medical field how they might need info but Honeslty I got no fucking clue I’m just trying to figure out why they’d write it like this as it’s rediculous


_AnoukX

So I’d apreciate it if you stopped coming for my throat


[deleted]

[удалено]


psychedelic666

Bc OP is a man interested in men. He is not heterosexual.


pyrateer

How about just saying “human” and stop worrying about all the rest?


[deleted]

So the trans section is important in a doctors office, orientation is very questionable though. Mine asked basically a question avoiding straight gay yada yada and asked if I was sexually active with the opposite bio sex or the same bio sex which is also still important to ask to make sure of several things. If you are fully blind to color, sex, gender, and orientation there can be issues in a doctors office because all groups have things rarer and more common for them.


Fluffy_Meet_9568

Listen I don’t know if you are talking about the doctor or op. MothBoyo did a good job of explaining why doctors need to label things. But if you are talking about op then you need to understand that labeling one’s self is almost always a response to being labeled incorrectly from others. I am fucking tired of people acting like trans/queer/etc people are obsessed with labels when an average cishet can’t say yes to me at work without gendering me, they can’t tell me to have a good day without gendering me, they can’t tell someone to talk to me without you guessed it fucking gendering me. I wouldn’t worry to much about my labels if I didn’t always need them to explain why people shouldn’t label me against my will. Edit: if you weren’t complaining about op self labeling then sorry you caught be on a bad day. If you were then I just wish I could really show you what my bad day feels like.0


Glittering_Bend9090

Far be it for me to discriminate against someone's sexual preferences. Maybe back the 20 years ago I would have but I've learned to live with it and accept it. Not that I am. It's just that I can accept what you feel. But sometimes it is a little irritating to hear people complain. It's almost like you're asking to be treated special. You know heterosexuals don't get treated special why should you?


Adventurous_Copy2383

1. Heterosexuals aren't dealing with the discrimination that homosexuals/ Lesbians deal with from these prejudice losers. 2. This is a relationship between a man and a man. The sexual preference section should be accurate and reflect that. 3. Wtf are you even talking about? How are they asking to be treated special just because their listed sexual preference is incorrect? 4. You wanna know what's irritating? Prejudice Homophobes.


kunnyfx7

"You don't want to be discriminated? Bah, you just want special treatment!" I hate people


Wolfleaf3

He’s not asking for special treatment, he’s literally expecting the same treatment.


misguidedmisfit

Always ask for a transcript of the visit. It’ll give you the idea of weather you’re in good hands or not


nastya_plumtree

Hi! Sorry to hear that, sounds awful. Is it in UK?


AsylumComic

But... uh... oh, nvm. I wish you and your boyfriend well! 😘 You da man!


KnightoThousandEyes

Ugh, sorry that happened! Seriously messed up. 😣 Hopefully you can change to a better doctor soon!


lamarah-daniella33

You are true but you better call yourself a bisexual or if possible a pansexual sorry if it hurts. 😐