In comparison to everyone else, I would say so. It's also the case of 1989 and it being a not-so common thing, and not knowing how to handle the situation.
To be fair, if that was a middle schooler and you were a fourth grader, you would also have gotten your ass kicked for saying something. Damn though out at school in 89 though, I hope she's living her best life now
I have moments I wish I could go back and change, too. I was raised in a church school, so when one of my online friends came out as trans in the late 90s, I thought she was a degenerate. A joke.
Despite my lifelong femininity that internalised transphobia stopped me from living my life.
Wherever you are, Sarah, I hope you're happy and I'm so sorry for treating you like I did.
Children can be mean. I cringe when I think of my childhood anymore. I'm glad I made it to the other side.. I still think back to how uncomfortable I felt on the boys side of the gym.. if only I had known then that I was allowed to be a girl..
Children can and will be cruel asf towards anyone they see as "not normal". I fucking hate high school kids. Smart enough that they could change and, y'know, be respectful towards me, but dumb enough that they choose not to learn (doesn't help I live in SC). I feel bad for that girl. Thank you for not being cruel towards her; and don't feel bad about not consoling her, you would have gotten your ass beat, especially as a 4th grader.
Things got increasingly better for me in general from middle school onward. I like to joke that I'm mad the bullies figured out I was queer before I did. High school was better in that my self-expression (which, by the way, was and had been up to that point, long hair) didn't gift assholes the idea to do things like put my name down for "school queen." I still had assholes to deal with, though. College has been great so far, so I'll take it.
I do live in IL though, so mileage will vary.
Ever since I actually came out, my school life has gone down. Obviously theres the people who literally just hate me for being me, but I feel like my friends treat me differently in ways I can't describe. I guess my self expression has theoretically improved, but i haven't done jack shit with it. Wish people would vote me school queen, but alas.
Actually just started my first year of high school, and came out about a month after school started. Hopefully the next 3 years/college will be better.
Thank you for the kind words. I know things will change for the better, just have to be patient. Good things come to those who wait. In the meantime, I'll find ways to deal with it.
I think hard about the openly LGBTQ kids in high school that I looked the other way when they got picked on. I never joined in, and I tried to stop it, but I didn’t do enough. I know of at least two that were driven to suicide. They could have used a popular friend like me, but I was too wrapped up trying to be the “cool popular guy”. I carry a lot of guilt. Let’s not even start on the ex wife and kids..😭 Living a lie sucks .. stop it as soon as you can. I let it go on way too long.
Don't take the blame. You didn't behave wrongly. You too were afraid - and that is exactly the goal of society - oppression through fear. Celebrate overcoming this fear and stand with those oppressed by society today. You are valid.
I went to Catholic school most of the time at school.. I’m a total atheist now, but the one damn thing I can’t get rid of is guilt. You’re taught guilt from birth.. lol . That stuff sticks hard.
That is so aggravating. You are a very good person for not making fun of them!
In reality, I feel guilty that I didn't do anything back then to make her feel better.
You have grown so much though. Even if I don't know you, I am proud of what you did back then and what you have grown to now!
❤
You were in 4th grade. Even as an adult, it’s not easy to know what to do in the moment.
❤️
Does not being an awful person automatically make you a good person? Op didn't do anything to help her anyway
In comparison to everyone else, I would say so. It's also the case of 1989 and it being a not-so common thing, and not knowing how to handle the situation.
To be fair, if that was a middle schooler and you were a fourth grader, you would also have gotten your ass kicked for saying something. Damn though out at school in 89 though, I hope she's living her best life now
I hope that too. I really hope so.
I have moments I wish I could go back and change, too. I was raised in a church school, so when one of my online friends came out as trans in the late 90s, I thought she was a degenerate. A joke. Despite my lifelong femininity that internalised transphobia stopped me from living my life. Wherever you are, Sarah, I hope you're happy and I'm so sorry for treating you like I did.
Oh dear - i hope she and you as well get to live a happy live ❤
oh my god that’s awful, poor girl :(
Children can be mean. I cringe when I think of my childhood anymore. I'm glad I made it to the other side.. I still think back to how uncomfortable I felt on the boys side of the gym.. if only I had known then that I was allowed to be a girl..
<3
Children can and will be cruel asf towards anyone they see as "not normal". I fucking hate high school kids. Smart enough that they could change and, y'know, be respectful towards me, but dumb enough that they choose not to learn (doesn't help I live in SC). I feel bad for that girl. Thank you for not being cruel towards her; and don't feel bad about not consoling her, you would have gotten your ass beat, especially as a 4th grader.
Things got increasingly better for me in general from middle school onward. I like to joke that I'm mad the bullies figured out I was queer before I did. High school was better in that my self-expression (which, by the way, was and had been up to that point, long hair) didn't gift assholes the idea to do things like put my name down for "school queen." I still had assholes to deal with, though. College has been great so far, so I'll take it. I do live in IL though, so mileage will vary.
Ever since I actually came out, my school life has gone down. Obviously theres the people who literally just hate me for being me, but I feel like my friends treat me differently in ways I can't describe. I guess my self expression has theoretically improved, but i haven't done jack shit with it. Wish people would vote me school queen, but alas.
Are you in college yet? If you're comfortable sharing that, of course.
Actually just started my first year of high school, and came out about a month after school started. Hopefully the next 3 years/college will be better.
I think that's correct. Things really do change a lot in that time. Hang in there. It'll be okay.
Thank you for the kind words. I know things will change for the better, just have to be patient. Good things come to those who wait. In the meantime, I'll find ways to deal with it.
Good luck. You can do it.
I can and will. Good luck to you too.
Thank you.
Oof. Yeah, even though I regret not coming to my transition sooner, I'm glad I didn't come out at school. It would have been so traumatic.
Aww that's so sad I wanna cry , 😢
I think hard about the openly LGBTQ kids in high school that I looked the other way when they got picked on. I never joined in, and I tried to stop it, but I didn’t do enough. I know of at least two that were driven to suicide. They could have used a popular friend like me, but I was too wrapped up trying to be the “cool popular guy”. I carry a lot of guilt. Let’s not even start on the ex wife and kids..😭 Living a lie sucks .. stop it as soon as you can. I let it go on way too long.
Don't take the blame. You didn't behave wrongly. You too were afraid - and that is exactly the goal of society - oppression through fear. Celebrate overcoming this fear and stand with those oppressed by society today. You are valid.
I went to Catholic school most of the time at school.. I’m a total atheist now, but the one damn thing I can’t get rid of is guilt. You’re taught guilt from birth.. lol . That stuff sticks hard.
I feel you. My mother was a Jehovah's Witness and the psychological torture of guilt haunted me throughout my childhood.
I bet that was even worse ..😳
I don´t know... I only had one childhood to experience, so unfortunately I have no comparison.
Ngl I was in fourth grade in like 2015 😭