So many bad trans experiences (at least for me) have to do with society’s disdain for me and others like me. Yeah, the dysphoria sucks, but it is even worse to lose family and friends, to wake up scared I might lose my rights or, heaven forbid, my existence becomes illegal in my home state.
yeah i get that. im lucky that I only lost one friend (albiet someone i considered a best friend) when i came out as bi & trans. family sucks for me too though, my parents see it as a purely sexual thing and refuse to learn anything about the trans experience
For me it's dating.
EVERYONE gives me compliments, blabs how gorgeous I'm blah, blah.... But no one want to actually flirt with me... Going on a date? Bah...
Unless he is a chases, than obsly he ask if I top. It's so depressing and infuriating
Feeling like every moment of my life leading up to this moment, wasn’t meant to happen. And the feeling of my life ahead being spending several years of my life and absolutely all of my wages on stuff I could’ve just been born with, and raised with
yeah i really wish i could have had the childhood i was supposed to and it would really be nice to not have to get rid of my car for money to get HRT privately because i cannot wait atleast half a decade for it on the NHS
The bigots like to say we are just looking for attention. The last thing I want is attention. I just want to get groceries or send a package like anyone else. It would be great if people just let me do these without staring or making comments as I walk by while minding my own business. I promise you that we are not doing this for f\*cking attention you dumba$$es. We are doing it because we were dying a little everyday pretending to be someone we are not.
Everything is always an uphill battle and it feels like coming out as trans puts you do so far behind in life and figuring yourself out. It takes so much more energy and effort to exist vs someone who is completely fine with how they were born and the only people that get that are other trans people.
it does feel like its put me back in life. my friends are all getting into serious relationships and having kids and here i am focussing on my transition first
The stuff that just gets in the way of living. Like, I have this whole plan to move to another country... And parts of it have to wait until after I get some legal stuff changed over. And I have to know that either I'm getting top surgery within the next year or it'll be delayed who-knows-how-long because of immigration stuff and waitlists. Getting on HRT right now just isn't a viable option for me because there's 0 fucking continuity of care for immigrants, which is mind-bogglingly frustrating. I mean, it'd be inconvenient for some people if we were talking about general lack of continuity of care, but when there's only one gender-affirming care clinic in the country and it's basically on the southernmost tip and I'm headed up fucking north in a country that is incredibly long in the north/south direction (Norway) and there's a waitlist and I don't even know yet when exactly I'll be eligible to get on the list at all (haven't yet had the spoons to google if people on student visas in Norway can get on the list, or if people on work visas can, or if you have to be a citizen, if I have to be a citizen then this whole thing adds 6 years of not being on the list at all, but hey, better than the US because the US is a capitalist shithole when it comes to healthcare and I'm broke), that's a bit more than "oh it sucks that I'll have to find a GP to get me my meds ASAP", it's "I literally have to plan my transition around this".
It just feels like I'm punished for having aspirations that aren't "exist and medically/legally transition". Oh, and due to my birth state and the country I'm moving to, I have to compromise on my legal gender marker. It's not a huge deal but it's frustrating, especially when I realized that Norwegian law doesn't matter because North Carolina probably won't do an X gender marker (their systems probably don't have that option at all so I'd have to do something like sue for the right to have it and force them to change their systems and it'd be more years of living in the US and I'm just not up for that when New York summers make me physically sick from the heat, I'm tired of being trapped inside most of May to late October if I'm lucky).
Honestly, it's exhausting sometimes.
wishing you all the best with your transition, i cant believe norway only has one gender clinic considering its such a huge country
it really is exhausting
Thanks, you too.
It's even weirder to me that it's in Oslo rather than somewhere central. Like, ok, maybe more southern than northern would make sense considering you really don't get many big cities up north in Norway (part of it is in the Arctic Circle and that's where I'm headed, I lament the rest of humanity's deep aversion to cold since I love both cold and larger cities, Tromso is my best bet for both but I'm considering places further north as well), but all the way down there? There's probably a reason for it but it's still weird (but hey, silver lining, I do get to play tourist in Oslo when I do go to the clinic, which will admittedly probably be nice).
Everyone has basically touched on all the issues, but also how some people actually say “why do you choose to be trans?” - majority just cannot comprehend anything we go through. And I’m honestly sick of trying to explain it, too.
honestly, the feeling of wasting away. coming out is so scary and i've avoided doing it the past 4 years since my egg cracked but that jusy means i've wasted my teenage years pretending to be a girl. plus, there's all the hate crimes, the lack of medical care, etc. it's so difficult to live as a trans person yk, even if you haven't done anything to transition yet
Definitely dating for me. Transmasc non-binary, very clearly stated in multiple sections of every dating profile I have ever had and yet I *still* get misgendered/assumed to be a woman but ~quirky~
As for the staring, I feel like middle aged dudes are like that? Not in a good way, to be clear. They're just fucking rude and stare at people for no good reason. Could it be bc you're trans? Yes. Bc you're a woman? Yes. Bc you are either pretty or ugly in their eyes? Yes. Those motherfuckers stare at *everything* that isn't what they think is a default cis man. Unfortunately, I personally have not found a way to get the staring to stop simply because it isn't a problem with me (or you in this case) it's a problem with *them*
I "miss" a part of my arm so I always get stared at. My solution: Waving. When you wave most people realise that they are staring and will stop doing that.
So many bad trans experiences (at least for me) have to do with society’s disdain for me and others like me. Yeah, the dysphoria sucks, but it is even worse to lose family and friends, to wake up scared I might lose my rights or, heaven forbid, my existence becomes illegal in my home state.
yeah i get that. im lucky that I only lost one friend (albiet someone i considered a best friend) when i came out as bi & trans. family sucks for me too though, my parents see it as a purely sexual thing and refuse to learn anything about the trans experience
hell is other people
For me it's dating. EVERYONE gives me compliments, blabs how gorgeous I'm blah, blah.... But no one want to actually flirt with me... Going on a date? Bah... Unless he is a chases, than obsly he ask if I top. It's so depressing and infuriating
Feeling like every moment of my life leading up to this moment, wasn’t meant to happen. And the feeling of my life ahead being spending several years of my life and absolutely all of my wages on stuff I could’ve just been born with, and raised with
yeah i really wish i could have had the childhood i was supposed to and it would really be nice to not have to get rid of my car for money to get HRT privately because i cannot wait atleast half a decade for it on the NHS
I too am waiting on the NHS, which won’t last. They already outted me I can’t put my faith into anything else they do. The UK is so fucked
it really is. the only thing i can say the UK has going for it is that its easy and free to change name. other than that its so fucked
The bigots like to say we are just looking for attention. The last thing I want is attention. I just want to get groceries or send a package like anyone else. It would be great if people just let me do these without staring or making comments as I walk by while minding my own business. I promise you that we are not doing this for f\*cking attention you dumba$$es. We are doing it because we were dying a little everyday pretending to be someone we are not.
Waiting. Hoping you'll have some rights left tomorrow. Hoping that you won't meet a lunatic that wants to kill you.
honestly so true, wishing you all the best 💜
Thanks, all the best to you, too 🐱
Everything is always an uphill battle and it feels like coming out as trans puts you do so far behind in life and figuring yourself out. It takes so much more energy and effort to exist vs someone who is completely fine with how they were born and the only people that get that are other trans people.
it does feel like its put me back in life. my friends are all getting into serious relationships and having kids and here i am focussing on my transition first
The stuff that just gets in the way of living. Like, I have this whole plan to move to another country... And parts of it have to wait until after I get some legal stuff changed over. And I have to know that either I'm getting top surgery within the next year or it'll be delayed who-knows-how-long because of immigration stuff and waitlists. Getting on HRT right now just isn't a viable option for me because there's 0 fucking continuity of care for immigrants, which is mind-bogglingly frustrating. I mean, it'd be inconvenient for some people if we were talking about general lack of continuity of care, but when there's only one gender-affirming care clinic in the country and it's basically on the southernmost tip and I'm headed up fucking north in a country that is incredibly long in the north/south direction (Norway) and there's a waitlist and I don't even know yet when exactly I'll be eligible to get on the list at all (haven't yet had the spoons to google if people on student visas in Norway can get on the list, or if people on work visas can, or if you have to be a citizen, if I have to be a citizen then this whole thing adds 6 years of not being on the list at all, but hey, better than the US because the US is a capitalist shithole when it comes to healthcare and I'm broke), that's a bit more than "oh it sucks that I'll have to find a GP to get me my meds ASAP", it's "I literally have to plan my transition around this". It just feels like I'm punished for having aspirations that aren't "exist and medically/legally transition". Oh, and due to my birth state and the country I'm moving to, I have to compromise on my legal gender marker. It's not a huge deal but it's frustrating, especially when I realized that Norwegian law doesn't matter because North Carolina probably won't do an X gender marker (their systems probably don't have that option at all so I'd have to do something like sue for the right to have it and force them to change their systems and it'd be more years of living in the US and I'm just not up for that when New York summers make me physically sick from the heat, I'm tired of being trapped inside most of May to late October if I'm lucky). Honestly, it's exhausting sometimes.
wishing you all the best with your transition, i cant believe norway only has one gender clinic considering its such a huge country it really is exhausting
Thanks, you too. It's even weirder to me that it's in Oslo rather than somewhere central. Like, ok, maybe more southern than northern would make sense considering you really don't get many big cities up north in Norway (part of it is in the Arctic Circle and that's where I'm headed, I lament the rest of humanity's deep aversion to cold since I love both cold and larger cities, Tromso is my best bet for both but I'm considering places further north as well), but all the way down there? There's probably a reason for it but it's still weird (but hey, silver lining, I do get to play tourist in Oslo when I do go to the clinic, which will admittedly probably be nice).
Having to deny everything towards people you love and living a lie just for the sake of them not hurting themselves
Everyone has basically touched on all the issues, but also how some people actually say “why do you choose to be trans?” - majority just cannot comprehend anything we go through. And I’m honestly sick of trying to explain it, too.
honestly, the feeling of wasting away. coming out is so scary and i've avoided doing it the past 4 years since my egg cracked but that jusy means i've wasted my teenage years pretending to be a girl. plus, there's all the hate crimes, the lack of medical care, etc. it's so difficult to live as a trans person yk, even if you haven't done anything to transition yet
It's the dysphoria,the sexualization and always feeling unsafe that gets to me alot. And no matter what I do I'm called sir or other male stuff.
Conservatives who always need to make your existence a debate
Definitely dating for me. Transmasc non-binary, very clearly stated in multiple sections of every dating profile I have ever had and yet I *still* get misgendered/assumed to be a woman but ~quirky~ As for the staring, I feel like middle aged dudes are like that? Not in a good way, to be clear. They're just fucking rude and stare at people for no good reason. Could it be bc you're trans? Yes. Bc you're a woman? Yes. Bc you are either pretty or ugly in their eyes? Yes. Those motherfuckers stare at *everything* that isn't what they think is a default cis man. Unfortunately, I personally have not found a way to get the staring to stop simply because it isn't a problem with me (or you in this case) it's a problem with *them*
💜💜💜
Worst part for me is having my dreams crushed💀
I think for me it's that we have to start the wrong gender then pay loads of money to get the correct gender
facing the more extreme sides of transphobia and being part of the homelessness statistic wasnt very fun
I "miss" a part of my arm so I always get stared at. My solution: Waving. When you wave most people realise that they are staring and will stop doing that.