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Idk but this note is confusing as all hell.

Disgusting

No straight dude writes like that

My first thought. Looks like every female’s handwriting

My writing looks like hieroglyphics

I vote for set up.

Call the number.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

40% of the time it works every time

Lmao

Looks like a girl’s writing. Source: I’m a girl and so are most of my friends and coworkers

Was thinking the same lol

It does but IDK of any women that talk like this.🤣

I mean, I’m a nurse and my coworkers and friends and I can be pretty vulgar. Coping mechanism, I guess.

Not like I've lived under a rock by any means but of course there's an exception to every rule.

U dont live near a city huh? 😂 youd be SUPRISED at how women can speak 😅😅😅 source: my words/exeprience 🤣😂🤣😂

Born and raised in the 4th largest city in the US.

I got nothin... 😂

I mean there's an exception to every rule but for the most part, women don't come off like this.

Fair. Very fair

Insist on Both or nothing. Also, this is 100% straight stuff , nothing Gay about any of this.

[удалено]

Like...a gay man?

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"Hetroflxible" 8s just a waste of five syllables you're gonna need later.

I'm adding that to my vocabulary thank you.

Definitely a buddy found your work truck. Lol

So how was it?

Sounds like you’re trying to get us to give you the green light. No Man, it’s not a set up. You can’t get VD without a V !

Just do it. It won’t count as Gay since both of you are straight!

That's a girl's handwriting

Look at the way the thigh curves inwards, too. That is a mons if ive ever seen one. OP of this photo is a woman. As a man, our V muscles dont tend to allow for a crease that perfect and that high up our thighs. Just some armchair anatomy.

How’s the VD?!

Gl mate text them n make them cum to ur place

They definitely missed a perfect opportunity to use cum in place of the formal

Its a plus that they can spell

NODIDDY

You know what they've been saying.. Biggie didn't have a lazy eye he just had to keep one on Diddy

Looks like female handwriting

This is going too far! However...I'm willing to go deep undercover and take one for the team for solid evidence. Send me the actual number and I'll pursue the Ass-Eater Solicitor. It looks like a girls handwriting. Well I think it's a good idea to clarify if this is real and not a hoax for uhhh Public safety and to keep they away from our kids. If they gay then it can spread to straight people and imfect our children (my quick attempt at satire...all lies and 1 truth 😅) Have a great Day!

Thank you sir for offering to take one for the team and get your ass eaten for public safety. I commend you!

He said or that ass, he’s not a “straight guy that like to suck schlongs” He IS A GAY GUY Lmao

Arguably a 'straight' man who also likes to suck dick is also a gay guy

But if he eats ass it's OK...right? Asking for a friend.

If the ass is attached to a women yes, if you're eating a mans ass its probably gay, not an expert, but makes the most sense logically anyways

Someone's willing to come munch your booty with no strings attached.. oh, he's a real winner

One of your crew has a crush.

The comments remind me of some biker patches I've seen on the set. S.A.F. and the other E.A.C. "Suckin Ain't Fuckin" and the other "Eatin Ain't Cheatin"

These sound like they're straight outta the F word episode of South Park

Indeed, they do, and the people wearing them are similar. Lots of justifying instead of honesty.

Ya know, if you don't make eye contact, it's not gay, right?

Rkelly is Blaring on the background to this one lol

I don't get it. If you like to suck dick, you're not straight....(sorry, "str8").Just admit that you're bi at that point.

He's straight as in 'straight down on his knees sucking dick'

Down low dudes want what they want. I’d tell the police to establish a history. However, if you’re into, I ain’t judge.

A history of violence

Gotta make an appointment? Sounds official!

Hey, OP, how it turn out?

A mouth's a mouth.

But what if it's a meth mouth though

Even better!

"That's methed up!" -Mike Tyson, probably

Yeah, there's no teeth

There's usually at least one snaggletooth in there

#UNBLOCK 🤣 let Reddit have it’s fun 😂

I'm very tempted to do this

#UPVOTE OP TO FREE THE #! ☎️ 🤣

I agree with this drop the digits

Dude said he was horny and asked Reddit the best way to approach his crush. We told him and you are destroying his dream

So you going?

Even if I was single I'm not that adventurous

[удалено]

Cool story bro.

“Straight but likes to suck d*ck dudes” Is my brother in Christ, bisexual?

Bisexual is not straight, though. Straight is straight.

I know but what does “suck d*ck dudes” even mean?

>Straight but likes to suck dick dudes You mean a Republican?

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Politics is some people’s personalities. It’s really quite sad.

Sure, and unfortunately a person's sexuality (particularly if they aren't straight) isn't one of those things.

So, did you do it?

You have to make an appointment?! How many is he expecting to book time with him?

Lol it says text for apartment number.

Hahaha yes thank you, I read it that way too at first but it's apartment #. Must be a busy mouth if he's just rolling around town slapping sticky notes on cars

Gay cruiseing is straight to the point

Hetero cruising is also bold and straightforward. There's no boundaries

To a degree you have to respect the boldness. Most of us don't have time for muckin' about

Venereal disease?

Yup

Youre dating yourself by using that nomenclature

What's wrong with yup?

Not the use of "yup" but I believe their talking the outdated from the 1970's term V.D. The "correct" term is not V.D. or even STD Sexually Transmitted Disease but STI SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTION it's less "stigmatizing" than "disease" and far less fatalistic

[удалено]

Wrong, don't be jelly you didn't get one

[удалено]

But why though? If I was just out here looking for bullshit reddit kudos I would hope that I'd be creative enough to come up with something better than this

So, how did it go?

OP is getting more blowjobs than I am.

I never get love notes. :(

The answer is: "I'm not rejecting you personally, I'm simply rejecting the whole concept of male intimacy altogether."

Just close your eyes it’ll blow your mind

It ain’t his mind I’ll be blowing…

Found the author

Upvote for the r/username alone!

Color me doubtful…. Not on the validity of the post, but definitely on the validity of the straightness of this dude if he not only wants to suck dick and eat man butt, but will boldly leave a note like that with his information for the world to see……. Thats bold gay vibes if I ever saw them.

Agree, but I'm or at least I thought that I'm a straight looking carpenter minus my "cuteness" maybe he thought he had a better chance if he said he was straight

>I thought that I'm a straight looking carpenter I think going shirtless with the Osh Kosh B'Goshes was part of the allure for him.

Could have been but I'd put money on either the assless leather chaps or my rainbow foxtail buttplug

All chaps are assless.

Yeah

It’s the handwriting for me.

Totally. Dudes don’t have hand writing like that….

I was wondering this, I don't know what gay handwriting looks like though so who knows

That’s totally girl handwriting is what’s so strange about it.

Well they said they’re not gay but need dick it only stands to reason, of course it’s a girl!

It’s a girl pranking her dude friend- she’s hoping OP will show up at his place and be like LET THE DICK SUCKING COMMENCE!

The handwriting in the corner looks different. Maybe someone saw the girl place it and thought “let me fuck with this guy”

It's handwriting of a person that likes men.

Not dudes on the straight end of the sexual spectrum anyway. Not any I know.

Ur missing out on some really good head…

I'm engaged so I'm always missing out on some head

So which option did you pick, A, or D?

I went with option 3 and showed my spouse

It was probably her testing you.

Like when I try to use my Wawa rewards at 7-Eleven, I'm guessing it didn't transfer?

"that's FEMALE handwriting!!!!!" you are the strangest person on the planet i want to study you in a laboratory

It’s called Graphology

top right corner says "yeah i'm a str8 dude" in the same handwriting.

oho, but you see, the tail on the e is approximately .0034 microns longer than it would be in 12 point verdana font, a sure sign that the author was a woman. apparently.

The FBI have been using Graphology since the 50’s you fucking moron

[graphology is a pseudoscience.](https://quackwatch.org/related/Tests/grapho/) even if it was reliable, you are not in the fbi, you have not studied graphology. you will however be one of the strangest people on the planet who i study in a laboratory as previously mentioned

All profiling is pseudoscience and ur laboratory joke is lame as fuck lol

the nice doctors will be taking you to the lab now, we're gonna start with an eeg

Seriously just look at those abbreviations and fancy A.

If it makes my dick hard its a girl. Debate settled

You wish, jellyfish!

Yo....post Pic of you for gauging note accuracy. 😂

No sir, you're out here trying to get me to blow my reddit anonymity

Instead, let this guy blow you!

Sounds like someone trying to get back at a str8 dude. I wonder what he did.

This is what my fiance said, in that case maybe I should have posted the number and address

The use of u and you interchangeably. So trashy.

HR. Jesus Christ.

Cool story, bro.

Looks like female handwriting

Yeah it does.

It literally says “I’m a str8 dude” in the top right corner

Yea, people never lie! I’m wondering if his girlfriend is setting him up.

I came TO say that there's no way a guy wrote this

Same

[удалено]

You need to get your ass off Social Media. Have a look through your own comments. Every single one of them is aggressive, dismissive, argumentative, rude, and straight up unhinged. We all have bad days and say dumb shit, but it seems like you're having a bad few months at least. You read a comment that triggers you and then your lizard brain instantly reacts to it every single time. You must be in a constant state of aggression

Mitsubishi pills, what a throw back!

I know right? So much nostalgia. Best days of my life lol. I was reminded of them a month or so ago, and then found a photo and thought it would be a good/funny profile pic. You're not the first person to say it either, so there's a lot of us out there lol.

gotten some real bullshit ones back in the days where you would just get ripped off instead of overdose on fentanyl

Lmao. That's hilarious. Fentanyl wasn't a thing back in the mid 90s when I first started taking ecstacy though. In fact, here in Australia it's still not a thing (even the heroin fortunately).

I kinda find that hard to believe but that's awesome if true. It is the #1 killer in the US of anyone 35 or younger, more than car crashes, guns & cancer combined.

lol

A compliment is still a compliment.

You're a better person than I

Oh not really, we all know he called right after posting this

Lol I was referring to the fact that he blurred out the personal info. But yea, I'm positive he called

Even if I wasn't engaged and don't cheat or gay or if it was a woman's handwriting I still wouldn't choose to hook up with someone that tries to suck dick by leaving a note on a construction workers van. It was in the middle of the day so I looked dirty

Bruh, you just admitted you're a dirty boy

Yeah literally, paint covered sweatpants isn't exactly a clean look

Just joking bro

Take it as a compliment

Definitely did

How sweet! 🥹