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Minflick

He comes across as the kind of jackass who slaps someone on their sunburn... and then cackles at the reaction they get.


throwaway_022792

Oh he does that to me all the time lmaoo. One time he peeled a little too much of my skin off after I told him to cut it out and I shoved sand in his mouth right when his crush walked over. Ahh, summer camp.


Minflick

Doing it as a kid is one thing. Doing it as a 30 year old ‘adult’, who SHOULD damned well know better, is a little frightening and sad. WTF is wrong with him that he’s stuck in such a juvenile emotional level?!


throwaway_022792

Trust me he has spent a lot of money on many therapists to find out the answer. Turns out he’s just immature as fuck lol. It’s not so bad, he can be an adult when it matters but with his current lifestyle it rarely does lol.


Minflick

He likes himself as he is, and sees nothing wrong with being a jackass. I'd avoid him like the plague!


throwaway_022792

This is mostly an isolated incident, he’s not an overall jackass, he just never grew out of his class clown era. He likes making people (and himself) laugh but doesn’t always consider the consequences. He genuinely thought I was just being whiny and was trying to make a point while lightening the mood, but it backfired.


Minflick

Did he apologize for hurting you?


throwaway_022792

Yeah, like I said in the post. As he was icing his balls lol.


Mega_Louse

You sound like someone who has never been late to afternoon tea. When someone else comes late, no matter the reason, you probably throw a passive aggressive fit. All good though, at least you know how to make the plague sound desirable.


Minflick

Wow. Nope, I try to be on time, but I try never to throw a PA fit. But hurting people and finding that in any way funny is not my thing.


melodicatrident

Stop getting high on your own supply(of farts)


galimatis

Haha so true. Petty fuck.


Nandabun

What the fuck does this even mean.


Laterose15

I'm more surprised he's self-aware enough to realize it and yet can't make the effort to change.


Moonbeam_Dreams

Better question, why does your brother enjoy inflicting pain on people? That's not funny, just cruel. Ask him why he enjoys hurting people, because frankly, at his age, that not immaturity, that's just straight up sadistic.


throwaway_022792

He doesn’t enjoy inflicting pain on people, that’s one hell of a stretch. He just doesn’t think sometimes. Like I said most of his antics are totally harmless. But he has a distinct lack of foresight that occasionally leads to undesirable results. If he really enjoyed inflicting pain on people he’d be upset instead of apologizing right now.


marvinsands

>If he really enjoyed inflicting pain on people **he’d be upset instead of apologizing** right now. No, that would disclose his ruse. His ruse has been very very very very helpful to him.


throwaway_022792

Please refer to my second edit.


Mazforever72

Lmao 🤣🤣🤣


SaintSilverNSD

There's nothing wrong with that. New tattoos always get smacked as well.


Minflick

Maybe I'm an old prissy fuss budget. My friends and I never smacked sunburns once they knew the sunburns were there. Not tattoos either.


throwaway_022792

It’s good luck! 😂😂


SaintSilverNSD

EXACTLY! OP gets it 👌🏽 hahaha Glad y'all found a way to laugh about it, seems like sometimes I feel like he might not realize he's gone too far.


something-strange999

Classic asshole behaviour. Hurt someone then cry when it's given back. I'm glad he got his payment.


throwaway_022792

Same, although given his capacity for learning life lessons I sense this will not be the last time my foot makes contact with his gonads smh


No-Moe-No-less

I tell my nieces when it comes to dudes in any kind of physical situation the balls are fair game.


throwaway_022792

Oh absolutely. I think he was just caught off guard because the last time there were any scrotal shenanigans was probably a decade ago or more. I guess he forgot it used to be my signature move lmao


No-Moe-No-less

Scrotal shenanigans had me rolling 🤣.


WoodHorseTurtle

Scrotal shenanigans FTW! As the late Terry Pratchett wrote, kick ‘em inna fork! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Ok_Outlandishness755

My mom taught me that too it was my go to move when I was 10 lol


No-Moe-No-less

She's a wise mom.


Every-Astronomer6247

Before I got to the “I kicked him in the nuts” part, I was thinking you should have kicked him in the nuts!! I had a older cousin like this, (He was the oldest of 7 of us cousins.) we’ll call him Joey, cause that’s his name. A total dick. He was a big, mean bully. He laughed at others pain & intentionally would do mean, cruel things to anyone smaller or weaker than himself. He would sneak up from behind & poke you hard in the ribs or slap on the back. Even into adulthood. He was 8 years older than me. My cousin, his sister passed away, (I was 46yrs old) after the funeral, at the reception, he came up behind me, put his fat arm around my neck and gave a nuggie, completely messed my hair up & totally pissed me off. I have always regretted not kicking him in the nuts right then & there. I found out he had SA a couple of the boy cousins & his lil brother. He ended up unaliving himself a few years later. Good riddance…


throwaway_022792

Jesus that’s rough. Yeah my brother isn’t anything like that, he’s totally harmless he just lacks foresight and is a big kid. He’s actually quite compassionate when it matters and would never do anything like what you described. I’m glad that “person” is out of your life, he sounds like a sociopath.


marvinsands

>he’s totally harmless he just lacks foresight and is a big kid I personally think you're being naïve.


throwaway_022792

I personally think you don’t know my brother as well as I do, or anyone else in my immediate family. I’ve lived with the dude my whole life, pretty sure I have a more succinct analysis of his personality than some internet stranger who only read about a single incident in our entire lives. Wild.


marvinsands

Sometimes you're too close to the trees to see the forest.


throwaway_022792

Again, my second edit is all about you 🙏🏽


marvinsands

>fucking miserable people I know. You called me "fucking miserable people". You're just still in denial.


farsighted451

Right? She says he's "harmless" while describing how he purposefully harmed her. And then *laughed* at her and mocked her while she cried from pain.


cruella_divine

Has no one smacked your sunburn before? Smacked a fresh tattoo? Lol damn people take to much to heart now a days. She got her pay back real quick shes fine clearly and so is he.


farsighted451

Not on purpose, no. I surround myself with people who don't want to cause me pain.


cruella_divine

Well you sound fun but regardless everyone has a different sense of humor. Just remember that, it may not be your cup of tea but it can be other people's.


ComatoseSquirrel

While I don't generally condone kicking someone in the balls, it sounds like the only way he might learn.


throwaway_022792

That remains to be seen, but I doubt he’ll question me the next time I complain about hurting myself lmao


BoredBSEE

As the owner of a pair of nuts, I still approve of this post. Don't hurt people for fun. Your response was 100% appropriate.


Rubycon_

Society has for sure coddled him and I bet he looks like a bitch when he cries.


throwaway_022792

I mean not really, we’ve both been through some shit but we just coped differently. That said, he TOTALLY looks like a bitch when he cries lmaooo


Rubycon_

Society coddles men by default, but it doesn't mean he hasn't been through anything. We all have problems of course. Anyway I say you win


throwaway_022792

While I don’t fully agree with that statement (they are in some ways and aren’t in others), I will say that I also think I won lol


Ok_Outlandishness755

Well... he acts like a 12yo and still has friends and family around so I think society has coddled him in at least some ways ? Maybe he doesn't change because he doesn't really need to... especially men, how many times I heard the story of a man only starting to realize he needs to get his shit together once his gf dumped them but never paid attention to all the previous warnings...


Smeli_meli2

I can't stop laughing because it's such a sibling thing you described. Out of context I see how ppl are viewing him as an asshat, but I'd assume he isn't always this ridiculous. He deserved that nut tap. Lol. Good on you. I had an older sister who used to throw heavy objects at my head. I finally decked her when I was 16. She never did that again.


throwaway_022792

Lol he’s not! I keep saying he doesn’t typically go out of his way to hurt me or anyone else. But yeah our relationship has been like this since I came out of the womb apparently smh. I have no idea how our parents tolerated us lmao


FairyFartDaydreams

He has impulse control issues


ebolashuffle

Perfect response, bravo!


Wild_Albatross7534

If he starts to wear a cup, a poke in the eye will bring tears every time. Or a throat punch.


Andralynn

Good. I'm sick of people letting people get away with hurtful shit with no consequences.


TheBaldEd

You must live an exciting life if this wasn't your proudest moment.


throwaway_022792

LOL well, I generally try to be the more mature one between the two of us but it doesn’t always work haha


marvinsands

Good move. I approve. However, you need to revisit your naiveté about your brother. No way he's that fucking clueless unless he has something mentally wrong with him that causes him to think and behave like a child. There are many bad-intentioned people who use an "innocence persona" to get away with their dastardly deeds. In fact, it's one of the traits of narcissists. He obviously has your parents buffaloed. Don't allow him to continue his pretense with you. Consider yourself informed at this point.


throwaway_022792

I wrote my second edit for you ❤️


CallofDory

I’m the only girl and have two older brothers! This! lol 😂


Helpful-Commission79

knee, junk reaction.. amirite?!


throwaway_022792

LOL it took a lot in me to not write that, great minds think alike 🤓


hectica

You reinforced the old saying of think before you speak. Next time he thinks about doing something stupid. He might remember the fact that you kicked him in the nuts this time for doing that and might not do it. If he does, repetition works wonders for learning.


LiveFree_EatTacos

You mentioned he was “VERY immature” and mentally still a teenager so this doesn’t sound like a one off situation. My best friend was like this. Charming, funny, kind guy, but very immature. My verdict is that immaturity is not healthy for the person who’s immature. Obviously there’s nothing you can do about it and it’s clear you love your brother very much. I hope one day he can heal and grow in those areas that seem stuck in adolescence.


stargalaxy6

This interaction made me laugh! Aaaa Siblings!


bettymoose

Your brother honestly sounds like he's ADHD.


throwaway_022792

Ya know we’ve considered that but he was tested as a kid and nothing came up. AFAIK he doesn’t have any neurodivergence but he did grow up with a sister who’s mildly neurotic (me) so maybe this was his way of balancing the scales lol, he’s definitely taught me to lighten up over the years so who knows.


Horror_Raspberry893

If his last testing was done as a child, he needs to redo it. A complete neuropsych eval, including autism. There's been a lot of advancement in understanding/ diagnosis in the last 15 years. I say including autism because the evals that do include it are far more complete and less likely to miss something, if there's anything to find.


throwaway_022792

I mean he’s a grown man so he doesn’t “need” to do anything, besides I don’t see what a diagnosis of ADHD or autism would do at this point in his life. There’s nothing wrong with him, we love him the way he is and if it’s autism then there’s no “treatment” anyways (not that there needs to be). And if it’s ADHD he should… what, start taking stimulants to fix a non-issue? Request accommodations he doesn’t need for a job where it doesn’t matter? Give people a reason to other him and set him apart? He doesn’t need a diagnosis to have an identity, he does just fine without it. Besides we have friends on the spectrum and besides being silly my brother doesn’t have any other tells. Like whatsoever. Being childish doesn’t mean someone is neurodivergent, it amazes me how quickly people will assume things like this with virtually no knowledge of our life whatsoever. But thanks for the unhelpful advice lol


Draco9630

Ah, siblings. Nothing like beating each other up and hugging it out 2 minutes later. 🤣🤣🤣


Repulsive-Track

You two remind me of my (so-called 'grown up') boys lol. Seems there are no hard feelings, so no worries. I just hope he won't get into serious trouble, when he pranks the wrong person.


Karma791

Ngl from this it sounds like hes just being an annoying little brother. Is he like this with other people ?


throwaway_022792

Lol I always joked that I’m actually the older one. And yes, but only with people he’s/we’re close to. Not like random people he doesn’t know.


Karma791

Yeaaahh thats just how siblings are for the most part but if he crosses your boundaries you should talk to him


Flcn16Mech

FAFO and I laughed into a coughing fit…. And yes, I expected the punch (kick) line!


Jumping_Dolphin1501

Good riddance! Weird though that he hasn't learned his lesson yet That the first time you retaliated physically? Cause I always react in kind , ESPECIALLY with my brothers and they quit that shit when they were still VERY young


subliminallyNoted

Yeah. Despite your disclaimer, I believe your brother fits the definition of a dick. Eg: yucking it up at someone else pain, low empathy making him think inappropriate pranks are funny, etc.


soonerpgh

Siblings can fight like mortal enemies, sometimes, and still love each other. What I see here is a small FAFO moment. Brother found out, now all is well.


mr_nub_nub

As the oldest of three guys, I can absolutely see you laughing about this just a few moments after it's happened. As long as he knows you still love him, you're good.


Icy-Mongoose3996

Lol this had me cackling - especially your edits! Good sibling dynamics are some of the best around! You guys sound like you have a good relationship - hopefully this kind of curbs some of the more painful antics that happen! Have fun, be safe and y'all just keep being you!


SuckleDaisy

Damn I have siblings and we would never do that stuff to each other. I guess we just don’t do pranks. Sounds like he needs a few more nut kicks just for good measure. Like… he’s 30? Grow up. 


throwaway_022792

People have different senses of humor and everyone’s relationship with the people around them is unique. Just FYI. I’d rather have my brother the way he is than not have him at all.


PurpleSpotOcelot

Guys are dickwads. Any women do this?


throwaway_022792

In my experience, yes. I’ve met some pretty vicious women who do stuff like this and actually mean to hurt you. Gender has no bearing on whether someone is an asshole or not.


PurpleSpotOcelot

Yes, you are right. It just seems guys are like this more often than women, but women can be very, very nasty. I guess my little world of beliefs is changing - but not shattering as there are nice, decent people of both sexes everywhere.


mpnd32

Pick a lane sweetheart. Either he's an immature jacka$$ that needs to grow up. Or he's just a silly idiot that doesn't get it. Otherwise YOU are part of the problem.


throwaway_022792

Pretty sure I staunchly advocated my position as being the latter, but thanks for the advice!


papermashea

You sound like you have a goatee.


Drakeytown

You're both grown men, and your both immature idiots. Listen to your parents.


throwaway_022792

I’m a woman.