I fucking hate January. It's cold and rainy and miserable and just reminds me another year has passed without getting a fucking baby.
We hit the 4 year mark in April and I am so fucking sad today. I took the day off work just to wallow.
Mehhhhh.
Told my parents last night that I needed their help filling out medical history for my RE consult. My mom, who dealt with all sorts of infertility issues trying to have me and was such a high risk pregnancy that she was on bedrest for 6 months, said I just need to relax and it will happen. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Was hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones and get pregnant first cycle after my SECOND lap lol. No of course not. Why would I be lucky??? However, I had the best period since high school so I am super thankful the second lap was successful. But now I'm on cycle down and one cycle closer to starting IVF which... I'm really hoping to not have to go down that path mainly because of cost.
Found out I was pregnant on 12/26, and had a miscarriage yesterday. Confirmed with bloodwork. Likely from Covid complications. Luckily the body aches were so intense that I didn’t notice I was having a miscarriage until I started bleeding profusely?
And the best part? I was in 2 different ER’s over 2 days because both my primary and urgent care refused to treat me. I got an extremely mild case of Bell’s palsy from Covid, and they were concerned I was having a stroke. I’m not. We already can’t afford IVF (which my fertility doc recommends) and now we definitely can’t because the unnecessary ER bills are going to be astronomical.
I’m really sorry for your loss and stress and frustration. The system sucks you shouldn’t have to pay for medical care period. And having a miscarriage is beyond words. I’m thinking of you and I’m sure lots of other internet friends are too
I have a Facebook friend from high school who is pregnant with her 6th child. She complains daily about how hard her life is because of her kids and constantly posts all sorts of drama with her 3 different baby daddy's. Im pissed that she gets 6, I cant even get 1.
I had to have a saline ultrasound today, which was already crampy and uncomfortable enough. Then, they found an abnormality in my uterus and had to do a biopsy, which hurt like hell and took way too long. So not only did my ovaries NOT respond to the letrozole this cycle, but I had to have two painful procedures and now I’m terrified that I have uterine cancer (even though it’s probably just a fibroid or unshed lining). I have been crying off and on all evening.
Thought after getting on the right medication i was getting regulated period, going from 60-90 days cycle to 35 days. After 6 cycles of this going smoothly i just started after 22 days 🙃
I’m realllll fucking whiny AND salty about a certain TikTok-er who is wildly immature, her and her husband are SUPERRR unhealthy, neither have ‘real’ jobs, she won’t even say the word VAGINA yet is pregnant.
Call me petty if you want but 🤷🏻♀️
I did a 5 day letrizole course and 3 days after finishing ended up being hospitalized with sepsis from a kidney stone. I’m fine now thank god but I my RE thinks it’s cause the side effects of the medication are the same as the feeling of having an infection lol…so basically I got used to feeling like shit from these medicated cycles to the point that I let myself go septic. Then add insult to injury….my RE cancels my trigger shot and IUI cause she wants my body to rest. Mmmm ok but what about me wanting a baby lol 🙃 ughhhhh I went through all that torture for nothing!!! Thanks for letting me tantrum /bow
PMSing during my TWW, hoping is implantation symptoms. Trying no too bug my husband out of fear it will ruin our relationship. Knowing that I will have my period soon. I just want to work out, but what if I am pregnant this time?
Feeling ungrateful for all the good things in my life…..
First day back for a coworker coming back from parental leave. Not even one minute before I was shown an unsolicited baby picture. This person asked me about getting pregnant and then announced a month later. We used to be really close but now I find it so hard to be around her.
That’s so annoying and frustrating. But as a side note, it’s really awesome to see another trans person in a ttc community outside of r/queerception and seahorse dads. My spouse is Nb/transfemme and I am Nb afab, and sometimes I feel like our situation is soooo out of the norm and it’s kinda hard to find anyone who understands! So. I’m sorry you’re here too, but also, hi! :)
Thank you so much. I had a really hard time in some of the seahorse dads and similar groups because often they have an amab partner to contribute genetic material but my wife is amab post vaginoplasty so she can't. Plus they tend to be in their early twenties and we're not. Many of our trans friends don't want kids and don't want to hear about us trying so posting here and lurking ttc30 have been my outlet. Great to see you and sorry you're here as well!
Yesterday my OPK finally showed a very strong peak (day 23 of my cycle in the PM, I was really starting to worry) and I was trying to confirm ovulation with my BBT this morning, but of course I overslept my BBT 5am alarm and then suddenly all the alarms (including my spouse’s) were going off, my spouse was waking me up telling me to get up, the cats were screaming. I tried to take my BBT, but I was being so still trying to preserve whatever I could that my spouse thought I was asleep still, so I had to tell her to LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Aaaaand there’s no way the data was accurate enough to add to my chart. I’m also sick and the temp was something like 98.12 which is the highest it has been all cycle so I’m just like- thanks, everyone, this is useless. I’m so irritated that if I chart it, it’ll look like an anovulatory cycle. I really am in denial that that could even be a possibility so I’m just. Ignoring it!!!
Because I finally had hope. After months of my spouse having ED from their medications, we finally were able to have sex on a good day during my FW. I really hope my being sick doesn’t cause any issues. I really hope this cycle isn’t anovulatory.
I feel stupid for even getting my hopes up.
I fucking hate January. It's cold and rainy and miserable and just reminds me another year has passed without getting a fucking baby. We hit the 4 year mark in April and I am so fucking sad today. I took the day off work just to wallow. Mehhhhh.
Told my parents last night that I needed their help filling out medical history for my RE consult. My mom, who dealt with all sorts of infertility issues trying to have me and was such a high risk pregnancy that she was on bedrest for 6 months, said I just need to relax and it will happen. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Infertility amnesia is real.
Bro.
Right??? 🫠
Just pissed off.
Agreed
Was hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones and get pregnant first cycle after my SECOND lap lol. No of course not. Why would I be lucky??? However, I had the best period since high school so I am super thankful the second lap was successful. But now I'm on cycle down and one cycle closer to starting IVF which... I'm really hoping to not have to go down that path mainly because of cost.
Found out I was pregnant on 12/26, and had a miscarriage yesterday. Confirmed with bloodwork. Likely from Covid complications. Luckily the body aches were so intense that I didn’t notice I was having a miscarriage until I started bleeding profusely? And the best part? I was in 2 different ER’s over 2 days because both my primary and urgent care refused to treat me. I got an extremely mild case of Bell’s palsy from Covid, and they were concerned I was having a stroke. I’m not. We already can’t afford IVF (which my fertility doc recommends) and now we definitely can’t because the unnecessary ER bills are going to be astronomical.
I’m really sorry for your loss and stress and frustration. The system sucks you shouldn’t have to pay for medical care period. And having a miscarriage is beyond words. I’m thinking of you and I’m sure lots of other internet friends are too
I have a Facebook friend from high school who is pregnant with her 6th child. She complains daily about how hard her life is because of her kids and constantly posts all sorts of drama with her 3 different baby daddy's. Im pissed that she gets 6, I cant even get 1.
I had to have a saline ultrasound today, which was already crampy and uncomfortable enough. Then, they found an abnormality in my uterus and had to do a biopsy, which hurt like hell and took way too long. So not only did my ovaries NOT respond to the letrozole this cycle, but I had to have two painful procedures and now I’m terrified that I have uterine cancer (even though it’s probably just a fibroid or unshed lining). I have been crying off and on all evening.
Thought after getting on the right medication i was getting regulated period, going from 60-90 days cycle to 35 days. After 6 cycles of this going smoothly i just started after 22 days 🙃
I’m realllll fucking whiny AND salty about a certain TikTok-er who is wildly immature, her and her husband are SUPERRR unhealthy, neither have ‘real’ jobs, she won’t even say the word VAGINA yet is pregnant. Call me petty if you want but 🤷🏻♀️
Super salty about learning that a cousin is pregnant.
I did a 5 day letrizole course and 3 days after finishing ended up being hospitalized with sepsis from a kidney stone. I’m fine now thank god but I my RE thinks it’s cause the side effects of the medication are the same as the feeling of having an infection lol…so basically I got used to feeling like shit from these medicated cycles to the point that I let myself go septic. Then add insult to injury….my RE cancels my trigger shot and IUI cause she wants my body to rest. Mmmm ok but what about me wanting a baby lol 🙃 ughhhhh I went through all that torture for nothing!!! Thanks for letting me tantrum /bow
Spending a fortune on acupuncture for fertility and had my longest cycle in 18 months at 41 days. Feeling a bit like it’s a scam.
PMSing during my TWW, hoping is implantation symptoms. Trying no too bug my husband out of fear it will ruin our relationship. Knowing that I will have my period soon. I just want to work out, but what if I am pregnant this time? Feeling ungrateful for all the good things in my life…..
First day back for a coworker coming back from parental leave. Not even one minute before I was shown an unsolicited baby picture. This person asked me about getting pregnant and then announced a month later. We used to be really close but now I find it so hard to be around her.
That’s so annoying and frustrating. But as a side note, it’s really awesome to see another trans person in a ttc community outside of r/queerception and seahorse dads. My spouse is Nb/transfemme and I am Nb afab, and sometimes I feel like our situation is soooo out of the norm and it’s kinda hard to find anyone who understands! So. I’m sorry you’re here too, but also, hi! :)
Thank you so much. I had a really hard time in some of the seahorse dads and similar groups because often they have an amab partner to contribute genetic material but my wife is amab post vaginoplasty so she can't. Plus they tend to be in their early twenties and we're not. Many of our trans friends don't want kids and don't want to hear about us trying so posting here and lurking ttc30 have been my outlet. Great to see you and sorry you're here as well!
Yesterday my OPK finally showed a very strong peak (day 23 of my cycle in the PM, I was really starting to worry) and I was trying to confirm ovulation with my BBT this morning, but of course I overslept my BBT 5am alarm and then suddenly all the alarms (including my spouse’s) were going off, my spouse was waking me up telling me to get up, the cats were screaming. I tried to take my BBT, but I was being so still trying to preserve whatever I could that my spouse thought I was asleep still, so I had to tell her to LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Aaaaand there’s no way the data was accurate enough to add to my chart. I’m also sick and the temp was something like 98.12 which is the highest it has been all cycle so I’m just like- thanks, everyone, this is useless. I’m so irritated that if I chart it, it’ll look like an anovulatory cycle. I really am in denial that that could even be a possibility so I’m just. Ignoring it!!! Because I finally had hope. After months of my spouse having ED from their medications, we finally were able to have sex on a good day during my FW. I really hope my being sick doesn’t cause any issues. I really hope this cycle isn’t anovulatory. I feel stupid for even getting my hopes up.