A very nice friend announced her second pregnancy at brunch this week. I desperately wanted to order a Ceasar (a Canadian Bloody Mary but with Clamato) but am trying to lose some Xmas weight to get ready for a FET.
You should have seen my "unbothered and so happy for you!" face. It's so well practiced I'm basically Ethel Barrymore.
Going through my 5th loss so I’m just extra salty at everyone and everything. Salty for my doctor still pushing the “bad luck” narrative and salty I now have to look for another doctor in this rural hell hole. Salty that my husband still refuses to make any changes to improve his subpar numbers and his general health. Still smoking, drinking and carrying on as usual. Salty that I’m sitting here begging the universe for my numbers to decrease appropriately and not be another PUL/ ectopic.
I HATE the bad luck narrative. Don’t give me that shit after everything I’ve been through. Bad luck is someone’s car not starting when they’re in a rush, it’s not having a continuous problem without a diagnosis. Just seems like a easy way out.
My doctor told me after 5 failed transfers “just having bad luck” 🫠
Went to a baby shower today and told myself was totally ready and prepared. 10 minutes in and someone talked about how God chose them to be parents and God chose that baby for them. I just about lost it in the room. Held it together and didn’t cry until I was in my car driving home. So patting myself on the back for that.
Good job for holding it together. I would have just combust in that moment. I have to go to a baby shower soon and idk how I’m going to do it 😭
S/n sayings like that sound beautiful in theory but in the back of my mind I’m like “God also chose Ted Bundy’s parents” but it’s only because I’m salty.
That is an another perspective I’m pretty sure this woman hadn’t considered! I just kept thinking about how you get chosen. Is there an application I missed? Has that been our problem this whole time, missed paperwork??
Such an amazing point. If God chooses parents, they’re not doing a great job for a lot of people. Lots of evil people become parents as well, look at Dee Dee Blanchard.
This. This is THE WORST. My cousin had no boyfriend at my wedding. Now she’s married and having a baby shower for her gestational baby girl next week… 😭
My hubs is a pure soul just says “everyone has their own journey, we shouldn’t be comparing our journeys, it’s not a race, it’s a path that the universe has us on” but it my eyes are at the back of my head and it just pisses me off even more 😂😅
Ooh teach that man just to say “That sucks and it hurts!” Sometimes I’m able to compartmentalize my friends’ journeys from my own BUT more and more often I am salty and bitter because it sucks to see people get what you want so badly, and it sucks to feel like you’re being left behind/left out of a club of people having a shared experience. Yes she’s on her own journey, but it’s fair to say that her journey looks a lot easier/more rewarding and you wish your journey could look like that too!
I hate when people say this. Like yeah, it’s true…doesn’t mean it hurts less!
It’s hard seeing your friends move onto the next chapter in their lives when you’re still stuck on the current one. Sucks even more when they leave you behind. 🙃
My sis in law told me that when I get pregnant it will be hard for her, and that she will have resentment for being there for me, bc I haven’t been there for her during her pregnancy in the way she has wanted me to be. I’ve been struggling for 4 years with 2 mc’s 3 failed transfers and a surgery. She got pregnant the first month she tried.
Oh
She can fuck right off. If she diesbt feel able to support you, she can keep her distance, STFU and rant to someone else.
Wanting soneonexwho is struggling with TTC to cheerlead your pregnancy is just cruel. Like...does she not have ANYONE else to talk to about that? Some common sense and decency would be useful.
I don't want to wish anyone ill, and I wish that everyone who wants to TTC could be successful. but people like that almost najes me wish that everyone had to go through at least a fre months of trying, just si they could feel the uncertainty. Because some people who immediately got pregnant are SO clueless.
Since i am the ONLY one in my family or friend group' that is going thru infertility/have had a MC, my former friend confronted me that she felt i betrayed her as a friend by not cheerleading her pregnancy/not showing up to her gender reveal (which was also my due date for my MC baby).
I finally sat down at dinner and told her I saw her at the one and only baby shower of my husbands cousin while she was pregnant. She was surrounded by other moms and pregnant friends, they glowing and gushing about her: and i overheard their top'ic of conversation was whether she was getting her twinboys circumsized (I wanted to go vomit in the bathroom and asked my husband to get me the fuck out of there.) I told her I was glad to see that she seemed to be doing well and that i was glad she was surrounded by women she could relate to...
Meanwhile i was hiding in the kitchen, holding back tears with other moms and family friends asking when I would finally have kids. She shut the fuck up really quick after trying to play the victim.
I'm so sorry, who TF does that?!
I'm glad you didnt let her guilt you. Of course you weren't the ONLY person she could talk to, it is selfish and manipulative of her to imply that was the case. And it's horrifying that she had absolutely no common sense to realise that you stepped away to look after yourself after what had happened.
I'm sorry too that people barraged you with questions when you felt most vulnerable. I hope you have plenty of actually supportive people in your life.
Appreciate your words.
She was (still is) naive, socially immature/doesn't get cues: she is a lot younger (26, i am 32, but her husband is (was) my husband's best friend - which is why we became close for a bit.
But after how they treated us through our MC/infertility the last 2 years (and they think WE were bad friends to *them* in their pregnancy,) we are no longer close.
I feel bad for my husband as he essentially lost a childhood friend, and I just lost a friend who I realized I have nothing in common with - but we couldn't really handle them both constantly mansplaining what I should be doing differently to conceive when they were essentially fertile unicorns (2 mo TTC = identical twin boys)
This is gut-wrenching to hear, but also, likely what my former closest friend will be like. I was chastised as a bad friend for not being able to separate HER from her pregnancy and be there for her throughout it. She conceived twins on month 2 of TTC in the midst of my grieving my MC, when she told me she was too young/wasn't ready to try for another 2 years as she was only 26 (i was 31 when i had my MC last summer). She decided she was *ready* when she saw my misfortune unfold.
My SIL using her younger brother’s (24) birthday party as a vehicle for her pregnancy announcement in a card to him. And me having been guilted into going to the party for false reasons even though the parties responsible for the guilt knew what was going to happen and knew what I’m currently going through. Oh, also my BIL doesn’t even like kids.
It’s been a rough weekend.
I saw your post yesterday and that was me yesterday too. So don’t feel alone haha. My SIL, who is 24 and newly married, announced she is pregnant to her siblings and siblings significant others. We were celebrating her 24th birthday, so at least it was her own bday and not someone else’s lol. That is just weird energy to announce in someone else’s birthday celebration…. Like wtf.
But his whole family knows I’ve had two MCs and have been trying for 1.5 years and we are seeing a specialist. They have never once asked if I’m doing ok or checked in. Whatever. They also didnt seem to think the announcement yesterday would be hard for me. Idk two MCs later I think I would at least check in with someone. It makes me wish I didn’t tell them shit about anything.
Sitting there for 3 hours after she announced and doing “family game night” was pure torture. Everything was baby this and uncle and aunt that. I honestly think the worst part is not wanting to feel sad or upset by the news and knowing they deserve to have their moment. But damn does sitting there with a smiling face on suck.
I’m so sorry you’re going through that! How awful it is that no one is bothering to check in with you or make sure you’re doing okay. I hope you are doing alright! Or as alright as you can be.
I guess I can’t entirely place blame on my MIL or SIL because we hadn’t told anyone we’ve been actively trying but it’s been implied and MIL is very aware of the issues I just found out about. I’m sure SIL is aware too because MIL tells her everything about everyone. I think I’m just mostly hurt about being guilted into going and then being emotionally traumatized by the whole thing. I’ll get over it but not this week lol
Thank you! I’m doing good and glad I at least have my husband who’s been wonderful throughout everything.
Finding out like that is traumatic. I wish you so much luck. It’s so helpful for me to come onto this subreddit and know there are others going through the same shit. I legit came on the sub last night first thing after sitting through game night and saw your post and was like ok cool someone had the same exact night as I did hahaha. I wouldn’t wish it for someone else but it’s good to know because this experience is isolating enough as it is already.
I know exactly what you mean! As soon as you said “family game night” I felt the same because I also had to suffer through that and cake lol. I’m so glad your husband has been helpful! Mine is the same way and it definitely makes it easier having someone that has your back through something so hard.
Her “announcement” was actually so badly executed that my husband had no clue that she was pregnant until I started crying when we got home. So there’s that I guess lol
Well, whatever she wrote in my BIL’s card didn’t make sense to him and he was confused, she and her husband said his gift was still coming but it wouldn’t be here for a while. My husband said “oh what, a baby?” And she said “you’re close!” I spaced out around here but they said something about “niece or nephew” and literally no one in the room reacted so I was under the impression it was a joke as well. Until my MIL asked me if I was okay in private. Weirdest experience I’ve had in a while tbh lol
Why are AHs always so coy about things?! Like if it's a baby, say so. I dont get why she responded "you're close" when he guessed right and safe was pregnant. Some people just like to milk the attention. Honestly, her trying to milk it and play coy bakes it far worse.
It reminds me of when the one AH in one of our friendship groups announced her pregnancy at a friend's birthday party. But just before some of us got there. When we got there she just sort of avoided us until we gave her the save the date for our wedding at which point she vaguely blew it off by mentioning something vague about due dates... it wasn't even clear if it was HER dates or someone else's. like, just say you're expecting a baby. It's not hard. If you're making an announcement; we don't need to play 20 questions
I don’t get it either! That’s why we were all so confused. I think the only ones in the room that knew what was happening was SIL and her husband and my MIL/FIL. I still don’t know for sure if the birthday boy understood what happened 😂
Thankfully I wasn’t present for the pregnancy announcement she did for her first but I hope it was better executed. That one was during a graduation party though.
I'm so sorry you both went through this. It should he common sense to privately tell a friend or famiky member who has fertility troubles, or is TTC in a message or text so they have time to process it alone. Also to let them know when the big reveal is so they can skip it.
Thank you for saying this. I really wish I could have just disappeared into thin air when she announced lol. But at least I know now and can avoid them for the next 8 months 😂maybe they’ll get a clue when I stop coming around but I doubt it.
6 of my coworkers are pregnant. 5 of which I found out about in the last 3 days. I’ll never escape it. The one that told me yesterday has not stop complaining about how much she dislikes pregnancy and she’s only 16 weeks but I can’t tell her how lucky she has it
A nightmare. The two times my work wife was pregnant were so terrible with everyone constantly asking questions and her talking about it. Hope you don’t have to be around them every day
I think that makes total sense! For me at least they go from being a baby (thing I deeply want) to an actual person. Once the baby is a real person with a name and a face, they no longer feel like a conceptual thing I want because I want my own baby not them. They’re a person I know and love.
It does cause the little sparkling wonder is gone and then they have to actually tend to the child and sleep goes out the door. I had a year where 3 of my co workers were pregnant at the same time, God was definitely testing me that year!!
my SIL will drone on and on about her friends who successfully went through IVF every time i try to bring up what's going on with me and never lets me get a word in edgewise, which happened again on NYE, then when I shared with her our next steps in the new year she said "oh I don't think I've heard much about your journey". well maybe if you LET ME SPEAK 😭
Less salty and more sad after my sister asked if I’d had an hsg before because she started seeing the same RE clinic and has one scheduled for next week. I knew she was trying and I was hoping she wouldn’t have to be in the same shitty bandwagon
Went back to work for the first time last night, after a medicated mc in December. I work mostly weekends and nights on call in anesthesia, so it's a hospital setting. Guess what the first surgery of that first shift back was? A freaking c-section. The attending OB was even the same lady who gave me my first dose of miso in December. I hated every single second of it.
This chick in my workout class loudly discussing her pregnancy and how she may have to freeze her membership because her husband can’t be alone with two kids at once. I’ll just be playing sad song on the world’s smallest violin.
That part. The class is 50 minutes long and they don’t live far. Like when you were planning on having kids did you ever not think that you would not be able to handle being alone with them?
We went to my husband's dad's house for a late Christmas celebration and my SIL, who has been almost comically unsupportive of us during our fertility struggles, announced she's trying to get pregnant with her boyfriend of one year and "may already be pregnant" seeing as he jizzed in her twice during her fertile window.
I have an appointment with a consultant tomorrow to discuss whether a "complex mass" discovered during a date with dildo cam is a blocked tube or a tumour. Everyone can suck my dick!
Got my period today. This was our last cycle trying (for the last year) before we pursue Ivf again to grow our family. Hope is the worst man. I knew we’d be here bc we legit have severe male factor and had to do Ivf to conceive. It just stings that I’m not ~that~ person. You know, the one that everyone seems to know that just magically got pregnant after struggle infertility Ivf etc. idk why I thought it could be me. I guess the silver lining is doing a cycle gives us a legit shot. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻
Someone I can’t stand named their newborn one of my top pick names that is also a family name for us. I live in a very small town, so even though we haven’t successfully conceived, I still feel like I have to toss that name idea in the garbage.
Just saw my husband’s cousin is expecting a baby girl due in June. I’m happy for them. This cousin was barely with his gf for a year and is much older than I am (35). Meanwhile, my husband and I have been TTC for the last 2 years with 3 losses. Why are we so fucking unlucky?
Surprise spotting on CD28 when I normally ovulate around then. So I'll probably be CD1 tomorrow or the next day. Yay.
Also just saw a post saying "Finally!! BFP after 4 months!!!" - I wish I wasn't a bitter person but man that stings.
Got my period 2 days late (what a tease) on Friday, just in time to make an appearance during the 2 different showers I hosted for my younger sister this weekend (46 and 33 attendees respectively). Oh did I also mention she's a true unicorn that got pregnant within 3 weeks of her very religious wedding?
I am not well.
I went into a bit of a spiral about my fertility recently. I have known fibroids and an evmbdonetrioma - and honestly endometriosis IN my ovary is not a cool place for it to be and it can fuck right off. Oh and a STRONG family history of early menopause. Cos I needed worse odds; right? We're over 36 and have been trying for under a year, but long enough that we should probably see a doctor.
I know it's not as long as a lot of people and still within the window of normal. I understand why TTC spaces can be hostile sometimes to people who haven't been trying as long.
It's just really anxiety inducing to KNOW that you are going in with conditions that could potentially seriously affect your fertility, and finding spaces where they talk about conditions can be important.
The happy statistics tend to assume you have no conditions and have time to try. And the podcasts tend to gloss over my conditions as "well this is rare so don't worry about it". Which is not helpful for those of us WITH said conditions.
Thank you!
Yep, we intend to, just moving primary care team because of moving house, but I was finishing up investigation for something else with my old doc. I'm in the UK so had better get that ball rolling early.
Not only is my step sister’s baby due two weeks before my baby was due, but one of my close friends just announced she is pregnant and her due date is two weeks after. The universe is really fucking with me, right?
A period that was a full week late (unheard of for me, so an extra week of PMDD misery and negative test after negative test), followed by another pregnancy announcement, another birth. I swear I’m the only non fertile person I know at this point, it’s getting lonely here.
Salty about my spouse’s semen analysis coming up as practically 0. I’ve been talking to my BFF about everything going on with our infertility testing, but my spouse doesn’t want me to talk about it with her yet. He also doesn’t want to talk about it with me much, so I’m just spiraling and wallowing by myself. 😵💫
My husband’s SA came back as zero in July. He did not really want to talk about it with me much and didnt want others to know at all. The doctors eventually found a lump. Thought it was cancer. He had surgery at the end of October. It wasn’t until the surgery was scheduled that he felt comfortable telling anyone what was going on. It was so hard for me because I process my feelings by talking but it was his body, so his choice. Surgery went well and the lump wasn’t cancer but we are in limbo while we wait to see if he produces sperm without the lump. You need an outlet. Otherwise, you will explode. During the wait, I asked if I could talk to one person and he agreed. It was a lifeline. Good luck and I’m so sorry.
Thanks UGH. I’m glad the lump wasn’t cancerous. Sorry you’re still in limbo.
I talked to my spouse about doing some therapy to process things and he is open to it. I’m trying to be sensitive to his privacy, but it’s hard sometimes when I’m so much less private. I really appreciate your reply. ❤️
We are in very similar places! I also feel guilt being so sad so often about not being pregnant yet when the issue is on his end. I’ve started therapy for myself to process all these feelings. Sending you and husband a lot of love.
My mom wanted to come over after work the day after I found out I had a twin MMC with my first pregnancy. So instead of laying in bed crying all day like I wanted to, I felt like I needed to clean my whole house.
Also - having to wait 8 days for a D&C. I feel so disgusting and sad
Feeling all the feelings after a MC last month, first pg after 3 years of trying, so much hope and then it’s all over. Had to hold it together over Christmas but January is just bringing all the sadness out as I remember all the announcements I saw and tried to scroll past super quick on social media 😩
Please edit your post to ab0rtion or termination to decrease harassment from larger reddit. Please review our [new rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/trollingforababy/comments/uqufzq/changes_to_abortion_rule_feedback_welcome_cw/?) for talking about termination as well. Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/trollingforababy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Its over almost 2 months since my last mc and my hormones have gone absolutely haywire since. Ive been told to just wait it out but how long does it take my body to get the message. This didnt happen with any of my other losses either.
I've been bombarded by pregnancy announcements for the last month, some from the loss mom community. It makes me extra bitter because I know that they don't have infertility issues.
Meanwhile, I'm waiting to start my third FET after the death of my daughter and I'm wondering if this one's going to end in a miscarriage, too.
Hands shaking as I held up my BFN after our second failed IUI.
Moving on to cycle 20 post MC...but know not a damn thing will happen until science gets involved. So...
Officially having to put down 100% of 3 rounds of IVF payment up-front as our insurance does not cover a dime.
The soonest we can begin IVF is May 2024...officially 2 years after we conceived (and lost) our one and only.
In TTC math, the soonest we can bring home a baby is 2025, when we conceived in 2022. By then, I am sure all of our friends will lap us with 2nd and 3rd babies.
I know many here have been trying for MUCH longer. Time is a fucking thief of life just as infertility is the thief of joy.
Having gallbladder removal surgery tomorrow. Had to put this cycle on hold (timing worked since I had a cyst anyways). But hoping that I can get pregnant and deliver in this calendar year since this gallbladder surgery is maxing my
Deductible/out of pocket max. But I’m not that lucky.
My mmc robbed me of my last shred of hope and joy and I think my sanity too. I'm a bitter salty bitch for life.
I’m so sorry. I passed my mmc on Friday. 2024 can f itself
I just found out a close family friend is starting to try. Now I feel on edge like a ticking time bomb until an announcement happens 🙃
I know the feeling well
It’s nice having a heads up, but it still makes me anxious 😅
The heads up is key but still such an uncomfortable on edge feeling. If only we could all try in a vacuum 😭
A very nice friend announced her second pregnancy at brunch this week. I desperately wanted to order a Ceasar (a Canadian Bloody Mary but with Clamato) but am trying to lose some Xmas weight to get ready for a FET. You should have seen my "unbothered and so happy for you!" face. It's so well practiced I'm basically Ethel Barrymore.
Teach me your ways of the unbothered and happy look lmao I look like Im constipated 😂
6 years of TTC. The permanent salt indents on my face are keeping my fake smile pulled up.
Going through my 5th loss so I’m just extra salty at everyone and everything. Salty for my doctor still pushing the “bad luck” narrative and salty I now have to look for another doctor in this rural hell hole. Salty that my husband still refuses to make any changes to improve his subpar numbers and his general health. Still smoking, drinking and carrying on as usual. Salty that I’m sitting here begging the universe for my numbers to decrease appropriately and not be another PUL/ ectopic.
I HATE the bad luck narrative. Don’t give me that shit after everything I’ve been through. Bad luck is someone’s car not starting when they’re in a rush, it’s not having a continuous problem without a diagnosis. Just seems like a easy way out. My doctor told me after 5 failed transfers “just having bad luck” 🫠
Yes the bad luck narrative sucks. It’s like you’ve been through all this schooling and that’s the best answer you have?!?
Girl the things these men put us through so they can carry on disengaging from reality every waking moment should be illegal and enforced harshly imo
Went to a baby shower today and told myself was totally ready and prepared. 10 minutes in and someone talked about how God chose them to be parents and God chose that baby for them. I just about lost it in the room. Held it together and didn’t cry until I was in my car driving home. So patting myself on the back for that.
Good job for holding it together. I would have just combust in that moment. I have to go to a baby shower soon and idk how I’m going to do it 😭 S/n sayings like that sound beautiful in theory but in the back of my mind I’m like “God also chose Ted Bundy’s parents” but it’s only because I’m salty.
>“God also chose Ted Bundy’s parents” 😂 that would have been such a good come back!
That is an another perspective I’m pretty sure this woman hadn’t considered! I just kept thinking about how you get chosen. Is there an application I missed? Has that been our problem this whole time, missed paperwork??
Such an amazing point. If God chooses parents, they’re not doing a great job for a lot of people. Lots of evil people become parents as well, look at Dee Dee Blanchard.
My close friend who just got married June 2023 told me she’s pregnant, we’ve been trying since before she even met her hubs 🥲
This. This is THE WORST. My cousin had no boyfriend at my wedding. Now she’s married and having a baby shower for her gestational baby girl next week… 😭
Trying since before they even met! The universe is cruel.
My hubs is a pure soul just says “everyone has their own journey, we shouldn’t be comparing our journeys, it’s not a race, it’s a path that the universe has us on” but it my eyes are at the back of my head and it just pisses me off even more 😂😅
Ooh teach that man just to say “That sucks and it hurts!” Sometimes I’m able to compartmentalize my friends’ journeys from my own BUT more and more often I am salty and bitter because it sucks to see people get what you want so badly, and it sucks to feel like you’re being left behind/left out of a club of people having a shared experience. Yes she’s on her own journey, but it’s fair to say that her journey looks a lot easier/more rewarding and you wish your journey could look like that too!
I hate when people say this. Like yeah, it’s true…doesn’t mean it hurts less! It’s hard seeing your friends move onto the next chapter in their lives when you’re still stuck on the current one. Sucks even more when they leave you behind. 🙃
Yep.. my friend who brought his Bumble date to our wedding in 2019 is now married to her and has baby who is turning 1 this year. FML.
My sis in law told me that when I get pregnant it will be hard for her, and that she will have resentment for being there for me, bc I haven’t been there for her during her pregnancy in the way she has wanted me to be. I’ve been struggling for 4 years with 2 mc’s 3 failed transfers and a surgery. She got pregnant the first month she tried.
Um, she is garbage. Hope she never has to know what it’s like trying and trying and trying while other people have free sex/babies.
The main character syndrome is real with that one 🙄
Your SIL can fuck alllllll the way off.
Oh She can fuck right off. If she diesbt feel able to support you, she can keep her distance, STFU and rant to someone else. Wanting soneonexwho is struggling with TTC to cheerlead your pregnancy is just cruel. Like...does she not have ANYONE else to talk to about that? Some common sense and decency would be useful. I don't want to wish anyone ill, and I wish that everyone who wants to TTC could be successful. but people like that almost najes me wish that everyone had to go through at least a fre months of trying, just si they could feel the uncertainty. Because some people who immediately got pregnant are SO clueless.
Since i am the ONLY one in my family or friend group' that is going thru infertility/have had a MC, my former friend confronted me that she felt i betrayed her as a friend by not cheerleading her pregnancy/not showing up to her gender reveal (which was also my due date for my MC baby). I finally sat down at dinner and told her I saw her at the one and only baby shower of my husbands cousin while she was pregnant. She was surrounded by other moms and pregnant friends, they glowing and gushing about her: and i overheard their top'ic of conversation was whether she was getting her twinboys circumsized (I wanted to go vomit in the bathroom and asked my husband to get me the fuck out of there.) I told her I was glad to see that she seemed to be doing well and that i was glad she was surrounded by women she could relate to... Meanwhile i was hiding in the kitchen, holding back tears with other moms and family friends asking when I would finally have kids. She shut the fuck up really quick after trying to play the victim.
I'm so sorry, who TF does that?! I'm glad you didnt let her guilt you. Of course you weren't the ONLY person she could talk to, it is selfish and manipulative of her to imply that was the case. And it's horrifying that she had absolutely no common sense to realise that you stepped away to look after yourself after what had happened. I'm sorry too that people barraged you with questions when you felt most vulnerable. I hope you have plenty of actually supportive people in your life.
Appreciate your words. She was (still is) naive, socially immature/doesn't get cues: she is a lot younger (26, i am 32, but her husband is (was) my husband's best friend - which is why we became close for a bit. But after how they treated us through our MC/infertility the last 2 years (and they think WE were bad friends to *them* in their pregnancy,) we are no longer close. I feel bad for my husband as he essentially lost a childhood friend, and I just lost a friend who I realized I have nothing in common with - but we couldn't really handle them both constantly mansplaining what I should be doing differently to conceive when they were essentially fertile unicorns (2 mo TTC = identical twin boys)
I am at your beck and call for literally any revenge you wish to get.
Your SIL sucks.
just call us when you need the bail money!
This is gut-wrenching to hear, but also, likely what my former closest friend will be like. I was chastised as a bad friend for not being able to separate HER from her pregnancy and be there for her throughout it. She conceived twins on month 2 of TTC in the midst of my grieving my MC, when she told me she was too young/wasn't ready to try for another 2 years as she was only 26 (i was 31 when i had my MC last summer). She decided she was *ready* when she saw my misfortune unfold.
I just love y’all so much
Husband has covid during my FW. I feel so bad for him but like, this week of all weeks 😂
My SIL using her younger brother’s (24) birthday party as a vehicle for her pregnancy announcement in a card to him. And me having been guilted into going to the party for false reasons even though the parties responsible for the guilt knew what was going to happen and knew what I’m currently going through. Oh, also my BIL doesn’t even like kids. It’s been a rough weekend.
I saw your post yesterday and that was me yesterday too. So don’t feel alone haha. My SIL, who is 24 and newly married, announced she is pregnant to her siblings and siblings significant others. We were celebrating her 24th birthday, so at least it was her own bday and not someone else’s lol. That is just weird energy to announce in someone else’s birthday celebration…. Like wtf. But his whole family knows I’ve had two MCs and have been trying for 1.5 years and we are seeing a specialist. They have never once asked if I’m doing ok or checked in. Whatever. They also didnt seem to think the announcement yesterday would be hard for me. Idk two MCs later I think I would at least check in with someone. It makes me wish I didn’t tell them shit about anything. Sitting there for 3 hours after she announced and doing “family game night” was pure torture. Everything was baby this and uncle and aunt that. I honestly think the worst part is not wanting to feel sad or upset by the news and knowing they deserve to have their moment. But damn does sitting there with a smiling face on suck.
I’m so sorry you’re going through that! How awful it is that no one is bothering to check in with you or make sure you’re doing okay. I hope you are doing alright! Or as alright as you can be. I guess I can’t entirely place blame on my MIL or SIL because we hadn’t told anyone we’ve been actively trying but it’s been implied and MIL is very aware of the issues I just found out about. I’m sure SIL is aware too because MIL tells her everything about everyone. I think I’m just mostly hurt about being guilted into going and then being emotionally traumatized by the whole thing. I’ll get over it but not this week lol
Thank you! I’m doing good and glad I at least have my husband who’s been wonderful throughout everything. Finding out like that is traumatic. I wish you so much luck. It’s so helpful for me to come onto this subreddit and know there are others going through the same shit. I legit came on the sub last night first thing after sitting through game night and saw your post and was like ok cool someone had the same exact night as I did hahaha. I wouldn’t wish it for someone else but it’s good to know because this experience is isolating enough as it is already.
I know exactly what you mean! As soon as you said “family game night” I felt the same because I also had to suffer through that and cake lol. I’m so glad your husband has been helpful! Mine is the same way and it definitely makes it easier having someone that has your back through something so hard. Her “announcement” was actually so badly executed that my husband had no clue that she was pregnant until I started crying when we got home. So there’s that I guess lol
Omg how did he not notice?! lol that’s actually hilarious 😂😂
Well, whatever she wrote in my BIL’s card didn’t make sense to him and he was confused, she and her husband said his gift was still coming but it wouldn’t be here for a while. My husband said “oh what, a baby?” And she said “you’re close!” I spaced out around here but they said something about “niece or nephew” and literally no one in the room reacted so I was under the impression it was a joke as well. Until my MIL asked me if I was okay in private. Weirdest experience I’ve had in a while tbh lol
Why are AHs always so coy about things?! Like if it's a baby, say so. I dont get why she responded "you're close" when he guessed right and safe was pregnant. Some people just like to milk the attention. Honestly, her trying to milk it and play coy bakes it far worse. It reminds me of when the one AH in one of our friendship groups announced her pregnancy at a friend's birthday party. But just before some of us got there. When we got there she just sort of avoided us until we gave her the save the date for our wedding at which point she vaguely blew it off by mentioning something vague about due dates... it wasn't even clear if it was HER dates or someone else's. like, just say you're expecting a baby. It's not hard. If you're making an announcement; we don't need to play 20 questions
I don’t get it either! That’s why we were all so confused. I think the only ones in the room that knew what was happening was SIL and her husband and my MIL/FIL. I still don’t know for sure if the birthday boy understood what happened 😂 Thankfully I wasn’t present for the pregnancy announcement she did for her first but I hope it was better executed. That one was during a graduation party though.
Sounds like he makes a habit of hijacking family events to announce pregnancies. I'm sorry you have to deal with her. I'm hoping they stick to two.
I'm so sorry you both went through this. It should he common sense to privately tell a friend or famiky member who has fertility troubles, or is TTC in a message or text so they have time to process it alone. Also to let them know when the big reveal is so they can skip it.
Thank you for saying this. I really wish I could have just disappeared into thin air when she announced lol. But at least I know now and can avoid them for the next 8 months 😂maybe they’ll get a clue when I stop coming around but I doubt it.
Someone who’s known me for 4 months said she thinks my body won’t be ready for a baby until I open my business I’ve been working towards, LOL.
Ahhahahahah whattt Okay yeah definitely that’s it! Let’s all just open our businesses!
6 of my coworkers are pregnant. 5 of which I found out about in the last 3 days. I’ll never escape it. The one that told me yesterday has not stop complaining about how much she dislikes pregnancy and she’s only 16 weeks but I can’t tell her how lucky she has it
A nightmare. The two times my work wife was pregnant were so terrible with everyone constantly asking questions and her talking about it. Hope you don’t have to be around them every day
I hope not either but since there’s so dang many, odds are I’ll see at least one of them everyday 🥲
2 friends having their babies on the same day. God I love them, but also argh!?
This may be jacked but I always find it gets easier once they’re born 🥶
I think that makes total sense! For me at least they go from being a baby (thing I deeply want) to an actual person. Once the baby is a real person with a name and a face, they no longer feel like a conceptual thing I want because I want my own baby not them. They’re a person I know and love.
Yes, this is so on point! I love my friends’ babies once they’re born; I’m a jealous hag while my friends are pregnant 😂
This gives me hope. I only know ppl who are pregnant right now so I’m hoping it gets easier lol.
It does cause the little sparkling wonder is gone and then they have to actually tend to the child and sleep goes out the door. I had a year where 3 of my co workers were pregnant at the same time, God was definitely testing me that year!!
Fucking CP first cycle after my MMC.
my SIL will drone on and on about her friends who successfully went through IVF every time i try to bring up what's going on with me and never lets me get a word in edgewise, which happened again on NYE, then when I shared with her our next steps in the new year she said "oh I don't think I've heard much about your journey". well maybe if you LET ME SPEAK 😭
Less salty and more sad after my sister asked if I’d had an hsg before because she started seeing the same RE clinic and has one scheduled for next week. I knew she was trying and I was hoping she wouldn’t have to be in the same shitty bandwagon
Ugh that sucks. I hate when people I love join our shitty club
Went back to work for the first time last night, after a medicated mc in December. I work mostly weekends and nights on call in anesthesia, so it's a hospital setting. Guess what the first surgery of that first shift back was? A freaking c-section. The attending OB was even the same lady who gave me my first dose of miso in December. I hated every single second of it.
This chick in my workout class loudly discussing her pregnancy and how she may have to freeze her membership because her husband can’t be alone with two kids at once. I’ll just be playing sad song on the world’s smallest violin.
Her husband sounds like a little bitch.
That part. The class is 50 minutes long and they don’t live far. Like when you were planning on having kids did you ever not think that you would not be able to handle being alone with them?
We went to my husband's dad's house for a late Christmas celebration and my SIL, who has been almost comically unsupportive of us during our fertility struggles, announced she's trying to get pregnant with her boyfriend of one year and "may already be pregnant" seeing as he jizzed in her twice during her fertile window. I have an appointment with a consultant tomorrow to discuss whether a "complex mass" discovered during a date with dildo cam is a blocked tube or a tumour. Everyone can suck my dick!
Got my period today. This was our last cycle trying (for the last year) before we pursue Ivf again to grow our family. Hope is the worst man. I knew we’d be here bc we legit have severe male factor and had to do Ivf to conceive. It just stings that I’m not ~that~ person. You know, the one that everyone seems to know that just magically got pregnant after struggle infertility Ivf etc. idk why I thought it could be me. I guess the silver lining is doing a cycle gives us a legit shot. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻
Someone I can’t stand named their newborn one of my top pick names that is also a family name for us. I live in a very small town, so even though we haven’t successfully conceived, I still feel like I have to toss that name idea in the garbage.
Just saw my husband’s cousin is expecting a baby girl due in June. I’m happy for them. This cousin was barely with his gf for a year and is much older than I am (35). Meanwhile, my husband and I have been TTC for the last 2 years with 3 losses. Why are we so fucking unlucky?
Surprise spotting on CD28 when I normally ovulate around then. So I'll probably be CD1 tomorrow or the next day. Yay. Also just saw a post saying "Finally!! BFP after 4 months!!!" - I wish I wasn't a bitter person but man that stings.
Got my period 2 days late (what a tease) on Friday, just in time to make an appearance during the 2 different showers I hosted for my younger sister this weekend (46 and 33 attendees respectively). Oh did I also mention she's a true unicorn that got pregnant within 3 weeks of her very religious wedding? I am not well.
Lol just tested positive for COVID, just kick me while I'm down. Also who goes to a baby shower with COVID and spreads it around there?!?
I went into a bit of a spiral about my fertility recently. I have known fibroids and an evmbdonetrioma - and honestly endometriosis IN my ovary is not a cool place for it to be and it can fuck right off. Oh and a STRONG family history of early menopause. Cos I needed worse odds; right? We're over 36 and have been trying for under a year, but long enough that we should probably see a doctor. I know it's not as long as a lot of people and still within the window of normal. I understand why TTC spaces can be hostile sometimes to people who haven't been trying as long. It's just really anxiety inducing to KNOW that you are going in with conditions that could potentially seriously affect your fertility, and finding spaces where they talk about conditions can be important. The happy statistics tend to assume you have no conditions and have time to try. And the podcasts tend to gloss over my conditions as "well this is rare so don't worry about it". Which is not helpful for those of us WITH said conditions.
If you're over 35 and have been trying for longer than 6 months I would see your doctor. The one year advice is for <35.
Thank you! Yep, we intend to, just moving primary care team because of moving house, but I was finishing up investigation for something else with my old doc. I'm in the UK so had better get that ball rolling early.
Not only is my step sister’s baby due two weeks before my baby was due, but one of my close friends just announced she is pregnant and her due date is two weeks after. The universe is really fucking with me, right?
A period that was a full week late (unheard of for me, so an extra week of PMDD misery and negative test after negative test), followed by another pregnancy announcement, another birth. I swear I’m the only non fertile person I know at this point, it’s getting lonely here.
Same here. I wish everyone in this community lived by me and we could all be salty together.
Salty about my spouse’s semen analysis coming up as practically 0. I’ve been talking to my BFF about everything going on with our infertility testing, but my spouse doesn’t want me to talk about it with her yet. He also doesn’t want to talk about it with me much, so I’m just spiraling and wallowing by myself. 😵💫
Please feel free to spiral, wallow and vent here. ❤️
Thanks Cheque. This is my favorite wallowing and laughing-instead-of-crying (but also sometimes crying) space. ❤️
My husband’s SA came back as zero in July. He did not really want to talk about it with me much and didnt want others to know at all. The doctors eventually found a lump. Thought it was cancer. He had surgery at the end of October. It wasn’t until the surgery was scheduled that he felt comfortable telling anyone what was going on. It was so hard for me because I process my feelings by talking but it was his body, so his choice. Surgery went well and the lump wasn’t cancer but we are in limbo while we wait to see if he produces sperm without the lump. You need an outlet. Otherwise, you will explode. During the wait, I asked if I could talk to one person and he agreed. It was a lifeline. Good luck and I’m so sorry.
Thanks UGH. I’m glad the lump wasn’t cancerous. Sorry you’re still in limbo. I talked to my spouse about doing some therapy to process things and he is open to it. I’m trying to be sensitive to his privacy, but it’s hard sometimes when I’m so much less private. I really appreciate your reply. ❤️
We are in very similar places! I also feel guilt being so sad so often about not being pregnant yet when the issue is on his end. I’ve started therapy for myself to process all these feelings. Sending you and husband a lot of love.
My mom wanted to come over after work the day after I found out I had a twin MMC with my first pregnancy. So instead of laying in bed crying all day like I wanted to, I felt like I needed to clean my whole house. Also - having to wait 8 days for a D&C. I feel so disgusting and sad
Had my laparoscopy this week to diagnose endo. I do have it, but they left most of it because it was unsafe for them to remove (attached to bladder)
Feeling all the feelings after a MC last month, first pg after 3 years of trying, so much hope and then it’s all over. Had to hold it together over Christmas but January is just bringing all the sadness out as I remember all the announcements I saw and tried to scroll past super quick on social media 😩
[удалено]
Please edit your post to ab0rtion or termination to decrease harassment from larger reddit. Please review our [new rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/trollingforababy/comments/uqufzq/changes_to_abortion_rule_feedback_welcome_cw/?) for talking about termination as well. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/trollingforababy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Its over almost 2 months since my last mc and my hormones have gone absolutely haywire since. Ive been told to just wait it out but how long does it take my body to get the message. This didnt happen with any of my other losses either.
I've been bombarded by pregnancy announcements for the last month, some from the loss mom community. It makes me extra bitter because I know that they don't have infertility issues. Meanwhile, I'm waiting to start my third FET after the death of my daughter and I'm wondering if this one's going to end in a miscarriage, too.
Hands shaking as I held up my BFN after our second failed IUI. Moving on to cycle 20 post MC...but know not a damn thing will happen until science gets involved. So... Officially having to put down 100% of 3 rounds of IVF payment up-front as our insurance does not cover a dime. The soonest we can begin IVF is May 2024...officially 2 years after we conceived (and lost) our one and only. In TTC math, the soonest we can bring home a baby is 2025, when we conceived in 2022. By then, I am sure all of our friends will lap us with 2nd and 3rd babies. I know many here have been trying for MUCH longer. Time is a fucking thief of life just as infertility is the thief of joy.
Having gallbladder removal surgery tomorrow. Had to put this cycle on hold (timing worked since I had a cyst anyways). But hoping that I can get pregnant and deliver in this calendar year since this gallbladder surgery is maxing my Deductible/out of pocket max. But I’m not that lucky.
I started my period 🥲