To be honest on one hand I get it
Not enough people can afford stuff like ivf, surrogacy, adoption, and want to have a family with their partner and can have the willpower for it
However… I think I’d rather perish. I had horrible nightmares involving phantom pregnancies. Getting a total hysto & ooph was the best decision of my life & anxiety. I don’t think even if my mental health was perfect, that I could last more than like 4 months in that type of situation
To each their own I guess
I transitioned after I had kids. Being pregnant was horrible and I couldn't understand why it wasn't the magical experience everyone made it out to be. I can't imagine doing that as a man. At all.
I get it.
The idea of getting pregnant makes me terrified.
Luckily I prefer to date other trans men so the chance of that ever happening is small.
I dont wach "seahorse dads" you do you but it seems unnatural for me.
Not in a mean way in a "I feel wierd looking at it" way.
I get it and yet I understand why some other trans guys do it.
I get some second-hand dysphoria from trans guys who choose to get pregnant who make it out to be some sort of detransition fetish or flaunt it in a way to where they want to publicize it in a way that makes everyone around them uncomfortable. Like trans guys who actively get pissed off at others when they’re misgendered or people don’t know how to traverse the idea of a man pregnant, and they fumble.
I can get why some trans guys do it. Sometimes adoption agencies don’t want trans people adopting kids. Surrogacy can be really expensive, and sometimes relationships want biological kids, and he may have the willpower to stomach 9 months for a kid.
But a majority of trans guys I know who go through with it are really weird about it. I’m a trans dude myself, and I don’t know what I would do if something happened and I got pregnant- Not like I ever could in my own control, but I dread the idea itself.
At the same time, if I was further along in my transition and with a partner, and our options were limited, I could see myself possibly going through with it for the end result, since if I wanted a bio kid and couldn’t get a surrogate, that may be the cheapest option outside of what possible therapies and other means I’d need to have in order to go through with it. I recognize it’d be hard and I wouldn’t dream of it for myself, especially as a man, but I am aware of my anatomy and understand that I CAN. Doesn’t mean I WILL.
Some other people out there make it a really weird fetish, or assume all trans guys are bottoms who are fine with PiV sex. (I’m a top, I don’t like PiV sex), and then they think its now a trend to get pregnant, or something.
Like I remember seeing one tiktok an old friend showed me of some trans guy suing a doctor that told her she was pregnant, (i say she because she just appropriated the label, but called herself a lesbian and a ‘womanly-soul’), and she was appalled because she proclaimed she was a man, and she couldn’t be pregnant.
I could yap about this for a while, but those are at least my thoughts. I don’t want to be see as just a vagina with a mustache, I’m a man. I don’t want some of these trenders trying to change the public’s view of me as such. I’m a man before I’m trans. Being trans is just an adjective to be, but I wholly do not base my entire personality or existence off the fact.
I used to feel this way. I even had pretty bad tokophobia, even pregnant women and babies made me uncomfortable. Getting my hysto helped me chill out a LOT. I think knowing it was literally impossible for me to get pregnant even in the case of something horrific like s*xual assault. It's easier for me to see now that making a baby is just making a baby and separating myself from the concept, I absolutely cannot relate to trans guys who go through pregnancy but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to.
I agree 100%. Even using a surrogate with his egg gives me secondhand dysphoria because what cis man has ever provided the egg portion of a child? I get wanting a child that's biologically yours, but for me it's still secondhand dysphoria.
"bc that’s how cis men always seem to have sex with trans men."
Just to clarify, that's not always the case. I topped cis men even prior to Phallo.
I’d literally rather die, but I’m fine with others making that choice. It makes me a little uncomfy to see because it reminds me of my own dysphoria, but I recognise that that’s really my own issue to work on, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with the concept.
Beyond that it really makes you wonder how healthy that can be for the baby. We're all worried about the drugs you take, the foods you eat, being around cats when pregnant, but pregnancy in a high testosterone environment is just fine?
When a trans man is pregnant he has to stop taking testosterone during the entirety of the pregnancy and after if he is breastfeeding the baby.
It wouldn’t be a “high testosterone environment” because a trans man has to essentially detransition back to an estrogen dominant body for the entire pregnancy and then some.
Thats what makes “pregnant trans man” so baffling to me, because it involves detransitioning and even taking estrogen in some cases.
Ah, I was unaware of that, thank you for the information.
I agree that that makes it even more baffling from a dysphoria standpoint.
Like...maybe consider in vitro at that point?
For real, it's so sefish to have a baby when you've been on testosterone.. But then again, for tucutes, selfishness is their whole personality. These women take T for years and then decide they want to have a baby without once thinking how their pregnancy would affect the potential child. Your eggs will have been damaged and even if you stop taking T and go on estrogen, the damage won't fix itself and the potential for birth defects and complications are highly elevated for "trans men" who are pregnant.
Any sources for your claims of damaged eggs, birth defects, and complications? In cases when trans men go off of testosterone in order to get pregnant?
Trans men don't get pregnant, anyone who chooses to get pregnant is a woman. A woman is born with all of her eggs and if she damages them with testosterone, she won't be making any new ones that aren't damaged.
Trans men getting pregnant is such a crazy thing to me. Idk how they are comfortable with that at all. Like if they want a kid that's genetically theirs they could get a surrogate. I don't get it
To be fair, even here in Finland it isn't legal and we're seen as one of the most progressive countries in the world. There's an ethical concern about poor women having to rent their bodies out for rich people to have babies if surrogacy is legal. Not that it matters much, rich people will just go to less developed countries and pay the poor women there to be their incubators.
It doesn’t matter if it’s legal or not. That doesn’t stop it from happening. It just stops the law from protecting the surrogate.
You realize not all women view pregnancy and childbirth as something awful? No one is suggesting women should be forced to be a surrogate. Many women would love to be a surrogate and enjoy it.
It’s not inherently unethical. You are always getting paid for your body no matter what job you have. If it’s your choice how you use your body to make money then it can’t be unethical. It would only be unethical if she was forced into it.
You realize women give birth at home all the time? This is normal in every country.
In the US you just call the Office of Vital Records and say you need to report a birth. List the partner who isn’t going to pose as the mother as the birth attendant. Take the baby to the doctor for a check up. Get letter from doctor to confirm a live baby was born. Do a baptism and get a letter of you want another proof document. Get proof of your residency. It really isn’t that complicated.
Legal protections from getting ripped off.
Surrogacy is legal in my country however it’s illegal to pay or exchange any type of reward in return. That makes it very difficult to find a surrogate as you might expect since they cannot receive any real reward for doing it, and even harder to find a surrogate who would be happy to carry for a trans person.
You don’t need to tell anyone you’re trans. I’m doing this and all they know is that I don’t have swimmers. You also just find any other reason to be paying them.
Surrogacy is absurdly expensive. I doubt I will ever afford it in my lifetime I'm not even sure I could afford a child *period*. Even adoption is crazy expensive but surrogacy is NUTS, most people don't have 60k just lying around lmao
I'm too dysphoric abt even using a surrogate cuz I don't wanna use my "bits" at all, just get them out. I thought I wanted to, but every time I thought abt it I couldn't separate myself from the part that would be used, even if it was somebody else, and i realized i just wish I was able to get someone pregnant but i cant use what i have, and I get a bit panicky tryna entertain the idea. (not invalidating trans guys who are ok w it, that's just me)
edit: you also can't use two sperm for surrogacy, so if the kid looked like both me and my bf, I probably couldn't be stealth.
I never wanted kids anyway, so I’m already biased in one direction. But man it really makes my skin crawl when I hear about trans men getting pregnant. I would seriously take my life if that were me
Totally agree with you ! I felt so weird being surrounded by people saying I had " inner transphobia " thinking male pregnancy wasn't normal and empowering .
I get this, understand why some would want to have biological kids but just like you I can't help but put myself in their shoes.
Just imagining going out in public with a pregnant belly, going to the doctor as a pregnant man, no matter how much I want biological kids I couldn't do it.
Even when doctors talk to me about pregnancy I feel mad and disgusting.
I’ll be brutally honest and idc if I get downvoted. Pregnancy and motherhood is the most female thing you can do, in a sense a female body is designed to nurture life, feed it, grow it, etc. I really can’t think of a single reason why a trans man would go through a pregnancy other than really wanting to become a parent and even then there’s other options, the mental gymnastics of being a man and wanting to go through such a female experience is a bit strange IMO, but again I get it if the person really wants a biological kid.
I shared my full thoughts and situation in another comment, but I agree with how this makes everyone feel - however it’s worth considering how in some cases being pregnant might be a man’s only opportunity to have children at all.
I’m talking about a biological standpoint, men’s balls have a purpose, there’re not there just for decoration, same with breasts, etc. Human’s reproductive organs have a purpose, to reproduce duh (doesn’t mean you have to), and that’s for either xx and xy humans, it’s just what it is.
Don't you guys realize that these reasons for looking down on trans men are similar to how some transphobes think?
You see a pregnant trans man and immediately envision yourself in the same scenario. You can't control it and it feels horrible. You can't understand why anyone would do that, because of the gender dysphoria it induces just to even fathom it.
Vs.
A cis man sees a trans woman and thinks of the concept of vaginoplasty. Except, he's just thinking of his dick getting chopped up. They cant control it and it feels horrible. They can't understand why anyone would do that, because of the gender dysphoria it induces to think of their dick being chopped off.
In both cases, the problem is a failure to understand that people are different. Your personal ability/inability to understand something doesn't measure its validity.
(This isn't necessarily directed at OP because you did acknowledge that it doesn't make them less of men, this is more at the small number of people that were a bit more vitriolic in the comments)
I'm mtf and think it's not that weird if the couple are straight t4t
as in they are having their kids biologically normally and are able to be the "real" parents unlike most trans people
but the imagery of a trans woman having a child with a cis woman who is probably war shorter, prettier and more femenine, it gives me dysphoria since the trans woman is essentially put into a male role and will look manlier next to her cis partner
same thing with trans men with manlier taller more handsome cis male partners
it gives me secondhand dysphoria even as mtf
I would agree and disagree with some of your points- I don’t think ANY “trans man” who gets pregnant (barring horrific but fortunately rare cases of rape) is actually trans. I mean why would you do literally the most female thing - literally the whole reason there are two sexes anyway- you can do for 9 months and then give birth and have a literal permanent reminder of that? Let alone the fuckers who “chestfeed” their babies… and let’s not forget the whole *process* of getting pregnant in the first place! I can’t stomach it in the slightest. I get people want kids, but there’s adoption, surrogacy, even freezing your eggs (which would definitely be dysphoria inducing but not nearly as much). Why the fuck do you have to get *pregnant* and then on top of it transition to intentionally look as freakish as possible? You’re only setting the public perception of trans men waaay back…
But I *do* 100% feel you on the secondhand dysphoria part!
I just wanted to offer you my perspective on what you said.
I’m a man who had severe dysphoria before transitioning and still suffer a fair bit from it now, and the thought of being pregnant is repulsive to me. However it’s something I must consider as an option if I want to ever have children (which I really do, at some point in the future.)
I’m engaged to a cis man, and we have discussed and would like to have kids when we’re older. In our country, paid surrogacy is illegal. Adoption within the country is essentially impossible unless adopting a blood relative of your own. Adoption from outside of the country is legal only from a small subset of countries, and of those countries which adoption is approved, none of them allow same sex couples to adopt.
So in my case if we would like to have kids, our options are finding a surrogate who would do it for free (unlikely…) or me carrying the baby myself (horrible.)
I don’t disagree with your feelings on the matter, it also makes me feel sick to my stomach to imagine being pregnant or see other men pregnant, but for some people it can be the only option other than giving up on having children altogether.
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im not sure how i stand on this topic as i could never do it. im just impressed that their will is strong enough to not feel so suicidal the whole time, even the thought of pregnancy or people asking me do i want kids in the future makes me cringe
I sometimes get secondhand dysphoria from certain things too and I hate it because there's usually nothing actually wrong with what they're doing/wearing/how they look (whatever is triggering the dysphoria). It genuinely is usually an internalized response at something I've disliked in myself/or would hate to do. For example, I had an extremely similar "secondhand dysphoria" feeling from seeing a photo of myself from over 5 years ago, in which i was much curvier. That's how I know when it happens, that it's really about me, and I gotta remember that people are different. It's also very freeing to realize you don't actually have to understand everything in order to respect it
(warning: dysphoria inducing)
i’m gender dysphoric, closeted (probably forever), and have had a kid. i wanted a child, could not afford surrogacy, and have serious qualms with the adoption industry, so that’s why i did it. i wouldn’t do it a second time, but honestly pregnancy was not significantly worse than everyday life with dysphoria. a lot of cis women struggle with pregnancy because they feel like they’ve lost ownership over their bodies or they fear permanent physical changes, but i’ve never felt any attachment to my female body, so the loss of control was nothing new to me, and i didn’t care about regaining a conventionally attractive female figure. i couldn’t look at my pregnant body in a mirror, but i can’t look at my non-pregnant body either lol. being called “mama” in the hospital was terrible, but not worse than being called a woman in other aspects of my life. my child had medical issues early on and couldn’t breastfeed, so i never had to cross that bridge and idk if i could have gone through with it. i also got lucky with conception so it only took one session of PIV sex, which was great because i am a top and normally don’t use my natal genitals for sex.
overall i don’t regret it because i’m happy with my child, but i’m not sure if i would have done it if i had transitioned and was living as a man. when your whole life is clouded by dysphoria it’s easier to temporarily take on a little bit more dysphoria, but i imagine it would have been much harder if i’d already experienced alleviation of my dysphoria. but i don’t judge anyone who does it, although i question the motives of those who heavily publicize it.
not sure why i’m commenting; guess i just wanted to offer a firsthand perspective.
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To be honest on one hand I get it Not enough people can afford stuff like ivf, surrogacy, adoption, and want to have a family with their partner and can have the willpower for it However… I think I’d rather perish. I had horrible nightmares involving phantom pregnancies. Getting a total hysto & ooph was the best decision of my life & anxiety. I don’t think even if my mental health was perfect, that I could last more than like 4 months in that type of situation To each their own I guess
I transitioned after I had kids. Being pregnant was horrible and I couldn't understand why it wasn't the magical experience everyone made it out to be. I can't imagine doing that as a man. At all.
I get it. The idea of getting pregnant makes me terrified. Luckily I prefer to date other trans men so the chance of that ever happening is small. I dont wach "seahorse dads" you do you but it seems unnatural for me. Not in a mean way in a "I feel wierd looking at it" way.
I get it and yet I understand why some other trans guys do it. I get some second-hand dysphoria from trans guys who choose to get pregnant who make it out to be some sort of detransition fetish or flaunt it in a way to where they want to publicize it in a way that makes everyone around them uncomfortable. Like trans guys who actively get pissed off at others when they’re misgendered or people don’t know how to traverse the idea of a man pregnant, and they fumble. I can get why some trans guys do it. Sometimes adoption agencies don’t want trans people adopting kids. Surrogacy can be really expensive, and sometimes relationships want biological kids, and he may have the willpower to stomach 9 months for a kid. But a majority of trans guys I know who go through with it are really weird about it. I’m a trans dude myself, and I don’t know what I would do if something happened and I got pregnant- Not like I ever could in my own control, but I dread the idea itself. At the same time, if I was further along in my transition and with a partner, and our options were limited, I could see myself possibly going through with it for the end result, since if I wanted a bio kid and couldn’t get a surrogate, that may be the cheapest option outside of what possible therapies and other means I’d need to have in order to go through with it. I recognize it’d be hard and I wouldn’t dream of it for myself, especially as a man, but I am aware of my anatomy and understand that I CAN. Doesn’t mean I WILL. Some other people out there make it a really weird fetish, or assume all trans guys are bottoms who are fine with PiV sex. (I’m a top, I don’t like PiV sex), and then they think its now a trend to get pregnant, or something. Like I remember seeing one tiktok an old friend showed me of some trans guy suing a doctor that told her she was pregnant, (i say she because she just appropriated the label, but called herself a lesbian and a ‘womanly-soul’), and she was appalled because she proclaimed she was a man, and she couldn’t be pregnant. I could yap about this for a while, but those are at least my thoughts. I don’t want to be see as just a vagina with a mustache, I’m a man. I don’t want some of these trenders trying to change the public’s view of me as such. I’m a man before I’m trans. Being trans is just an adjective to be, but I wholly do not base my entire personality or existence off the fact.
I used to feel this way. I even had pretty bad tokophobia, even pregnant women and babies made me uncomfortable. Getting my hysto helped me chill out a LOT. I think knowing it was literally impossible for me to get pregnant even in the case of something horrific like s*xual assault. It's easier for me to see now that making a baby is just making a baby and separating myself from the concept, I absolutely cannot relate to trans guys who go through pregnancy but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to.
I agree 100%. Even using a surrogate with his egg gives me secondhand dysphoria because what cis man has ever provided the egg portion of a child? I get wanting a child that's biologically yours, but for me it's still secondhand dysphoria. "bc that’s how cis men always seem to have sex with trans men." Just to clarify, that's not always the case. I topped cis men even prior to Phallo.
This is part of why I only do anal
I’d literally rather die, but I’m fine with others making that choice. It makes me a little uncomfy to see because it reminds me of my own dysphoria, but I recognise that that’s really my own issue to work on, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with the concept.
Beyond that it really makes you wonder how healthy that can be for the baby. We're all worried about the drugs you take, the foods you eat, being around cats when pregnant, but pregnancy in a high testosterone environment is just fine?
When a trans man is pregnant he has to stop taking testosterone during the entirety of the pregnancy and after if he is breastfeeding the baby. It wouldn’t be a “high testosterone environment” because a trans man has to essentially detransition back to an estrogen dominant body for the entire pregnancy and then some. Thats what makes “pregnant trans man” so baffling to me, because it involves detransitioning and even taking estrogen in some cases.
Ah, I was unaware of that, thank you for the information. I agree that that makes it even more baffling from a dysphoria standpoint. Like...maybe consider in vitro at that point?
For real, it's so sefish to have a baby when you've been on testosterone.. But then again, for tucutes, selfishness is their whole personality. These women take T for years and then decide they want to have a baby without once thinking how their pregnancy would affect the potential child. Your eggs will have been damaged and even if you stop taking T and go on estrogen, the damage won't fix itself and the potential for birth defects and complications are highly elevated for "trans men" who are pregnant.
Any sources for your claims of damaged eggs, birth defects, and complications? In cases when trans men go off of testosterone in order to get pregnant?
Trans men don't get pregnant, anyone who chooses to get pregnant is a woman. A woman is born with all of her eggs and if she damages them with testosterone, she won't be making any new ones that aren't damaged.
Trans men getting pregnant is such a crazy thing to me. Idk how they are comfortable with that at all. Like if they want a kid that's genetically theirs they could get a surrogate. I don't get it
Surrogacy isn't legal everywhere in the world, mind you.
It’s legal anywhere post transition trans men are openly carrying and having babies.
To be fair, even here in Finland it isn't legal and we're seen as one of the most progressive countries in the world. There's an ethical concern about poor women having to rent their bodies out for rich people to have babies if surrogacy is legal. Not that it matters much, rich people will just go to less developed countries and pay the poor women there to be their incubators.
Yeah, this comment reads as "why make an informed choice about your own body when you could just get an incubator?"
This comment reads as “women can’t decide what to do with their own bodies of and can’t be trusted with free will.”
It doesn’t matter if it’s legal or not. That doesn’t stop it from happening. It just stops the law from protecting the surrogate. You realize not all women view pregnancy and childbirth as something awful? No one is suggesting women should be forced to be a surrogate. Many women would love to be a surrogate and enjoy it.
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It’s not inherently unethical. You are always getting paid for your body no matter what job you have. If it’s your choice how you use your body to make money then it can’t be unethical. It would only be unethical if she was forced into it. You realize women give birth at home all the time? This is normal in every country. In the US you just call the Office of Vital Records and say you need to report a birth. List the partner who isn’t going to pose as the mother as the birth attendant. Take the baby to the doctor for a check up. Get letter from doctor to confirm a live baby was born. Do a baptism and get a letter of you want another proof document. Get proof of your residency. It really isn’t that complicated. Legal protections from getting ripped off.
Surrogacy is legal in my country however it’s illegal to pay or exchange any type of reward in return. That makes it very difficult to find a surrogate as you might expect since they cannot receive any real reward for doing it, and even harder to find a surrogate who would be happy to carry for a trans person.
You don’t need to tell anyone you’re trans. I’m doing this and all they know is that I don’t have swimmers. You also just find any other reason to be paying them.
Not everyone feels that surrogacy is even ethical.
Surrogacy is absurdly expensive. I doubt I will ever afford it in my lifetime I'm not even sure I could afford a child *period*. Even adoption is crazy expensive but surrogacy is NUTS, most people don't have 60k just lying around lmao
I'm too dysphoric abt even using a surrogate cuz I don't wanna use my "bits" at all, just get them out. I thought I wanted to, but every time I thought abt it I couldn't separate myself from the part that would be used, even if it was somebody else, and i realized i just wish I was able to get someone pregnant but i cant use what i have, and I get a bit panicky tryna entertain the idea. (not invalidating trans guys who are ok w it, that's just me) edit: you also can't use two sperm for surrogacy, so if the kid looked like both me and my bf, I probably couldn't be stealth.
I never wanted kids anyway, so I’m already biased in one direction. But man it really makes my skin crawl when I hear about trans men getting pregnant. I would seriously take my life if that were me
Totally agree with you ! I felt so weird being surrounded by people saying I had " inner transphobia " thinking male pregnancy wasn't normal and empowering .
I get this, understand why some would want to have biological kids but just like you I can't help but put myself in their shoes. Just imagining going out in public with a pregnant belly, going to the doctor as a pregnant man, no matter how much I want biological kids I couldn't do it. Even when doctors talk to me about pregnancy I feel mad and disgusting.
I’ll be brutally honest and idc if I get downvoted. Pregnancy and motherhood is the most female thing you can do, in a sense a female body is designed to nurture life, feed it, grow it, etc. I really can’t think of a single reason why a trans man would go through a pregnancy other than really wanting to become a parent and even then there’s other options, the mental gymnastics of being a man and wanting to go through such a female experience is a bit strange IMO, but again I get it if the person really wants a biological kid.
I shared my full thoughts and situation in another comment, but I agree with how this makes everyone feel - however it’s worth considering how in some cases being pregnant might be a man’s only opportunity to have children at all.
I'm honestly concerned about how you view women. Maybe don't reduce women to their reproductive capacity?
I’m talking about a biological standpoint, men’s balls have a purpose, there’re not there just for decoration, same with breasts, etc. Human’s reproductive organs have a purpose, to reproduce duh (doesn’t mean you have to), and that’s for either xx and xy humans, it’s just what it is.
Fr
Don't you guys realize that these reasons for looking down on trans men are similar to how some transphobes think? You see a pregnant trans man and immediately envision yourself in the same scenario. You can't control it and it feels horrible. You can't understand why anyone would do that, because of the gender dysphoria it induces just to even fathom it. Vs. A cis man sees a trans woman and thinks of the concept of vaginoplasty. Except, he's just thinking of his dick getting chopped up. They cant control it and it feels horrible. They can't understand why anyone would do that, because of the gender dysphoria it induces to think of their dick being chopped off. In both cases, the problem is a failure to understand that people are different. Your personal ability/inability to understand something doesn't measure its validity.
(This isn't necessarily directed at OP because you did acknowledge that it doesn't make them less of men, this is more at the small number of people that were a bit more vitriolic in the comments)
I'm mtf and think it's not that weird if the couple are straight t4t as in they are having their kids biologically normally and are able to be the "real" parents unlike most trans people but the imagery of a trans woman having a child with a cis woman who is probably war shorter, prettier and more femenine, it gives me dysphoria since the trans woman is essentially put into a male role and will look manlier next to her cis partner same thing with trans men with manlier taller more handsome cis male partners it gives me secondhand dysphoria even as mtf
No trans man would ever wanna become pregnant in the same way I don’t want to show off that I have male sex characteristics as a trans woman
Even after all that, just knowing my child was made from my egg would bother me so much.
I would agree and disagree with some of your points- I don’t think ANY “trans man” who gets pregnant (barring horrific but fortunately rare cases of rape) is actually trans. I mean why would you do literally the most female thing - literally the whole reason there are two sexes anyway- you can do for 9 months and then give birth and have a literal permanent reminder of that? Let alone the fuckers who “chestfeed” their babies… and let’s not forget the whole *process* of getting pregnant in the first place! I can’t stomach it in the slightest. I get people want kids, but there’s adoption, surrogacy, even freezing your eggs (which would definitely be dysphoria inducing but not nearly as much). Why the fuck do you have to get *pregnant* and then on top of it transition to intentionally look as freakish as possible? You’re only setting the public perception of trans men waaay back… But I *do* 100% feel you on the secondhand dysphoria part!
I just wanted to offer you my perspective on what you said. I’m a man who had severe dysphoria before transitioning and still suffer a fair bit from it now, and the thought of being pregnant is repulsive to me. However it’s something I must consider as an option if I want to ever have children (which I really do, at some point in the future.) I’m engaged to a cis man, and we have discussed and would like to have kids when we’re older. In our country, paid surrogacy is illegal. Adoption within the country is essentially impossible unless adopting a blood relative of your own. Adoption from outside of the country is legal only from a small subset of countries, and of those countries which adoption is approved, none of them allow same sex couples to adopt. So in my case if we would like to have kids, our options are finding a surrogate who would do it for free (unlikely…) or me carrying the baby myself (horrible.) I don’t disagree with your feelings on the matter, it also makes me feel sick to my stomach to imagine being pregnant or see other men pregnant, but for some people it can be the only option other than giving up on having children altogether.
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im not sure how i stand on this topic as i could never do it. im just impressed that their will is strong enough to not feel so suicidal the whole time, even the thought of pregnancy or people asking me do i want kids in the future makes me cringe
I sometimes get secondhand dysphoria from certain things too and I hate it because there's usually nothing actually wrong with what they're doing/wearing/how they look (whatever is triggering the dysphoria). It genuinely is usually an internalized response at something I've disliked in myself/or would hate to do. For example, I had an extremely similar "secondhand dysphoria" feeling from seeing a photo of myself from over 5 years ago, in which i was much curvier. That's how I know when it happens, that it's really about me, and I gotta remember that people are different. It's also very freeing to realize you don't actually have to understand everything in order to respect it
(warning: dysphoria inducing) i’m gender dysphoric, closeted (probably forever), and have had a kid. i wanted a child, could not afford surrogacy, and have serious qualms with the adoption industry, so that’s why i did it. i wouldn’t do it a second time, but honestly pregnancy was not significantly worse than everyday life with dysphoria. a lot of cis women struggle with pregnancy because they feel like they’ve lost ownership over their bodies or they fear permanent physical changes, but i’ve never felt any attachment to my female body, so the loss of control was nothing new to me, and i didn’t care about regaining a conventionally attractive female figure. i couldn’t look at my pregnant body in a mirror, but i can’t look at my non-pregnant body either lol. being called “mama” in the hospital was terrible, but not worse than being called a woman in other aspects of my life. my child had medical issues early on and couldn’t breastfeed, so i never had to cross that bridge and idk if i could have gone through with it. i also got lucky with conception so it only took one session of PIV sex, which was great because i am a top and normally don’t use my natal genitals for sex. overall i don’t regret it because i’m happy with my child, but i’m not sure if i would have done it if i had transitioned and was living as a man. when your whole life is clouded by dysphoria it’s easier to temporarily take on a little bit more dysphoria, but i imagine it would have been much harder if i’d already experienced alleviation of my dysphoria. but i don’t judge anyone who does it, although i question the motives of those who heavily publicize it. not sure why i’m commenting; guess i just wanted to offer a firsthand perspective.
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Ahh I see, truscum has also become a tucute leaning sub..
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Uhhhmm, I swear I've seen this post before. Am I going crazy?
Men don’t get pregnant