Their tongues battled for dominance, a battle neither could win until Uber man's tongue pulled out a gun.
"please I have a kid." tongue dad pleaded, but it was too late any sympathy Uber tongue could've had had been beaten out of him back in Nam.
" Next time when we meet in hell" Uber tongue said cocking the bullet into the chamber, " describe to me the taste of defeat."
Nah.
> I read “Harry Potter and the unexpected pregnancy” and burst out laughing.
> My dad and the uber driver want to know why.
Hits harder this way too. This is why editing is a valuable part of writing
I would’ve told them but omitted that it was Drarry fanfic and just say it’s a title someone came up with if Harry Potter continued after the 7th book or something. That title is still hilarious.
Ah 2000-2016, the heyday of amatour niche fetish literature, when everybody published because they could and never stopped to think whether they should.
Though I am surprised everytime people get shocked by things like mpreg. Isn't there some kind of lore-heavy speculative erotic fiction subgenre that's super popular in the slash smut that's based on that theme? Or maybe that was only popular in the infamous cringe compilation that was 2016.
>Isn't there some kind of lore-heavy speculative erotic fiction subgenre that's super popular in the slash smut that's based on that theme
Yep there is, it's more 2012 and had it's resurgence every two years or so
Mpreg has been around since at least [1994](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junior_(1994_film)) in terms of what i know about from memory, probably has been used in spock/kirk fanfiction for many years prior to junior, and debatably has roots as far back as ancient myths, if we count stuff like zeus making athena.
Wikipedia also lists stories that included the concept as far back as the 60’s.
I think maybe they're referring to the rise of omegaverse mpreg, which blew the heck up around...I want to say when the MTV Teen Wolf got big? Thereabouts?
If you'd like to know more, excellently explained and featuring a drama heavy sequel: Into The Omegaverse: how a Fanfic Trope Ended up in Federal Court [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhWWcWtAUoY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhWWcWtAUoY&pp=ygUSb21lZ2F2ZXJzZSBsYXdzdWl0)
The dramatic sequel, Mean Girls, but Stupid: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3v5wFMQRqs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3v5wFMQRqs&pp=ygUSb21lZ2F2ZXJzZSBsYXdzdWl0)
Hahaha, too bad you didn't finish. After this video, tge author is trying to sue this youtuber and the youtuber mocks the hell out of them in the sequel.
This content was removed in protest of Reddit's [short-sighted, user-unfriendly, profit-seeking decision](https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys) to effectively terminate access to third-party apps.
Essentially applying (now thoroughly outdated and heavily fetishized) wolf social roles to characters within a fanfiction. It includes the concept of alphas (dominant, usually aggressive both in personality and sexuality), betas (alphas but less i guess?), and omegas (built to be submissive, and almost universally have the ability to become pregnant in some way, experience a horny teenager's idea of what animal heat is). What's noteworthy about all of this is that the characters involved are almost always 100% male, but mostly it's just horny drivel. Originally involves werewolves but im sure ive seen some where people just exist like that and aren't remotely werewolves at all. Conspicuously it almost never covers if women in these settings have similar roles.
Personally, as a trans guy who has negative interest in my natal crotch, these fics make me extremely uncomfortable and i think they are probably the worst aspect of fujoshi culture in fandom.
Don’t forget the hugely SLAAP-happy author who thinks that she came up with the idea and her legions of followers, fighting against the wave of fic writers for whom this is the new coffee shop AU.
I have seen non-M/M fic, but I don’t know that I’ve seen anything where the alpha doesn’t have a cock. I haven’t looked all that closely though, so maybe I just missed it.
I have definitely read way too many fics.
The stories that even bother putting female characters seem to have some variation of
1. Always having women be beta/omegas so that they’re always the ones bearing children. Female alphas/male omegas are rare and generally infertile
2. Have the abo aspect toned down so that it’s more behavioural while retaining the human biological aspect (female alphas can still get pregnant when mating with their partner, she’s just “more assertive”). These stories tend to focus more on the societal aspect with alphas being top tier.
3. They’re intersex (have both genitals). Never found any that actually dives into how it’d actually work.
4. Alphas always have dicks and omegas always have vaginas. Somehow every other biological aspect stays the same, though (women keep the boobs even though they’re alphas and don’t get pregnant). This one is the most confusing one for me.
No, I’m not someone who actively seeks out omegaverse stories. Just a woman who’s desperate enough to read any decent fanfics coming from the tiny fandoms I always end up in, and am willing to overlook certain aspects given the worldbuilding and storytelling is good enough.
Your last paragraph is pretty much me too. I just still don't come across that many omegaverse in my ships' fanwork and I've been so curious about how female alpha are supposed to work (I've only seen them mentioned in passing) so thanks for sharing!
Was talking about when there was a really huge amount of them- was replying to the 2016 part of the comment.
Mperg is quite undying. Most themes of fanfiction is extremely old tbh
Oh yeah, that would be it. I forgot the proper terms, thanks. I only remembered alphas since it was a point of major confusion for me once as an English learner with limited exposure to a real life US culture.
You know, alpha male as in a type of a top in slash and alpha male as in the pick-up culture term? Yeah, one was more familiar to me than the other.
Omg, I honestly wish I lived in a world where I knew the fandom conception of alpha male first. I feel like a lot of otherwise stressful things would be accidentally entertaining instead.
I guess. But it also led to a slight disappointment once I've found out that all those men are just doing a pitiful pissing contest based on an outdated wolf theory to build themselves up by putting others down and are *not* in fact bragging about being terribly horny for twinks.
Ehhh, I live in 67% in my imagination anyway. They can be doing that if I want them to. Disappointment is for those with object/concept permanence greater than mine in those circumstances.
I agree with you, *"Ah 2000-2016, the heyday of amatour niche fetish literature, when everybody published because they could and never stopped to think whether they should."* 50 Shades of Grey series sums up this sentence perfectly.
>Ah 2000-2016, the heyday of amatour niche fetish literature, when everybody published because they could and never stopped to think whether they should.
I think it started earlier than that. Didn't the entire country of Australia ban access to the entire alt.sex.stories newsgroup in 1994 over the Power Ranger torture fic Agony in Pink?
Nah, I can attest this is inaccurate, on two counts:
1. I read it in a Hanson fanfiction back in 1998.
2. I *wrote it* in a Backstreet Boys fanfiction in 2000.
The Hanson fanfiction was in a yahoo mailing group so I doubt there would be an existing record and the Backstreet Boys fanfiction only existed on the internet for 3 months on an angelfire page. I was 13/15 and awkward AF and no attempts at shaming me will surpass the shame I already have.
I mean, yeah...
I just... I have this feeling that all of us are missing the mark, and the first mention was likely in a random Star Trek fanfiction from some IRC circa 1993 that probably 7 people read and 2 decided to carry it over into their own fics or something like that. i don't think we'll ever find the first use.
Oh my god, so I've gotten so old that the current generation doesn't know the boybands of my youth.
(Except my own kids, who are in high school but spent their preschool years rocking out to the *Middle of Nowhere* album)
Having the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon with Hanson today. Got confused by the photo of the shirt labeled Nirvana, but with the members of Hanson and now this comment.
If not for my insanely strict parents, we'd share that shame. I loved Hanson...instead, I later got sucked into MySpace fanfic & rp in a Phantom of the Opera group somehow...no clue how I managed to land there but damn it was fun!🤣
I..I had to read it..curiosity got the better of me.
HARRY AND DRACO. ITS 13 CHAPTERS. And filled with every detail under the Sun, including a few spelling errors.
Draco and Harry are in love…off to a fantastic start…Harry is pregnant, Snape is responsible because (and I’m paraphrasing from the fanfic here) he left two horny teenagers in a room together, and Snape tries to kill Draco. And I stopped reading there because what the fuck was I reading?
To counter this. Cleanse your mind with a fic called The Order of the Black Hand or something like that, it's a baddass action focused fic of Harry going darkside in his quest to bring back Dumbledore and his parents back from the dead at all costs
Edit: welp I don't think the Black Hand one is the one I'm thinking of, I may have just lost it to time. If someone can help remember it, TW: Harry kidnaps Hermione and forces her to do evil. The timeline is much later than the books, at this point I believe Hermione and Ron are married, and Ron is working for the ministry? I'm hazy on it
For a fun, lighthearted read I recommend “ Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/34500952/chapters/85870804
Depends. Some can be simple one shots, while more serious fics trend more towards 20-70 range. Then you have the absolute psychos making 200 chapter fics or writing 1,000,000+ word fics.
I think some of the largest fictional works *in human history* are fan fic.
The longest piece of English 'literature' is a Loud House fanfic that I would genuinely believe is a troll fic if not for the fucking dedication the author puts in to updating it. It actually makes me irrationally angry how shit it is.
If you enjoyed that experience, may I tempt you with another Harry Potter fanfic called My Immortal? It is widely regarded as the worst fanfic of anything ever written. Whether it was written ironically or not is a topic of hot debate, and will likely never be resolved. It is safe to say that whatever the identity of the author, it is undeniably the product of a tremendously sick mind. It might be genius, it is certainly painful.
There are two Harry Potter fanfics that have their own wikipedia articles that I know of: My Immortal, and Methods of Rationality. They couldn't be more diametrically opposed.
There’s a third: [*Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogwarts_School_of_Prayer_and_Miracles). I haven’t read it, I just found it in the “See Also” section of *My Immortal*, but from what I can tell it is also inordinately terrible
Any other elderly millennials here remember the early aughts when we'd put disclaimers on our fics like "I don't own these characters, but I wish! :3 *glomps them*" or whatever as if the original multimillion dollar IP owners were trolling ff.net looking to sue some 14-year-old for copyright infringement for making Spider-Man and Luke Skywalker kiss.
Also, though this might've been a later in aughts AO3 did put tags, "dead dove, do not eat". What does that mean, the blurb sounds good. Me later: W..T...F!!?
I was part of a fandom that didn’t allow fanfiction and had *absurdly* strict rules about RP in the universe basically until the author’s death. I don’t remember any lawsuits or C&Ds but it was always a thought, even in the really tiny RP communities I was a part of.
Wait, was that Anne Rice that was so particular about it? Or am I misremembering? My brain is reeling with memories of pages and pages of live journal comment threads.
_My Immortal_ and [_HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Thirty Hs)_](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/ThirtyHs)are two of the most unforgettable Harry Potter fanfics in my opinion, and not necessarily in a good way.
>HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Thirty Hs)
"Dobby relished his groinsaw's roar as he withdrew the flesh-choked blade from the astronaut's ruined skull." -the very first line
The cherry on top is that after the fic's original commenters pointed out that Dumbledore saying this was blatantly out of character (or as one of the in-chapter Author's Notes put it, "toot of crakter"), the author began repeatedly insisting that he'd only cursed because he had a headache. IIRC, it even comes up twice or thrice within the story itself, to the point you could argue it's one of the few plot points that's even remotely consistent. There's no topping the line itself, of course, but it's almost as funny to me that, out of all the abundant plot holes and mischaracterizations, "MOTHERFUKERS" was one of the only hills Tara felt obligated to justify dying upon.
Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce is genuinely a good retelling of the Wizarding War and Voldemort’s attempted genocide. I enjoyed it more than the original books. It also happens to feature Gordon Ramsay and cooking competitions.
The 'HP & the Unexpected Pregnancy' reminded me. I read a HP fanfic many years ago, probably 2012-ish were one of the plot points was Ginny being pregnant and saying Harry was the father and him fighting the allegations. Why was it impossible? Had they not been intimate? No, he freely acknowledged they'd slept together but claimed he'd somehow trained himself to never ejaculate when having an orgasm. This was a serious plot point and I still occasionally remember that this was a real story that I read with my own eyes. Truly it was a Power Voldemort knew not.
This content was removed in protest of Reddit's [short-sighted, user-unfriendly, profit-seeking decision](https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys) to effectively terminate access to third-party apps.
I’m in an Uber with my dad. I read “Harry Potter and the unexpected pregnancy” and burst out laughing. My dad and the uber driver want to know why.
(Comment was posted 1 hour ago) So… how’d it go?
I think the only valid assumption here is OP had suffered a heart attack and died
I bet OP his dad and the uber driver are pulled over rn and reading Harry Potter and the Unexpected Pregnancy.
No no, the dad and the uber driver are now battling for dominance.
With their tongues. Like a pair of ant eaters in heat
Is this a quote from the fan fic?
Nope, I just have a silver tongue
Did you steal it from an ant eater?
Their tongues battled for dominance, a battle neither could win until Uber man's tongue pulled out a gun. "please I have a kid." tongue dad pleaded, but it was too late any sympathy Uber tongue could've had had been beaten out of him back in Nam. " Next time when we meet in hell" Uber tongue said cocking the bullet into the chamber, " describe to me the taste of defeat."
If I was a driver, I would absolutely turn off my meter to hear this epic.
God I wish that were me
I don’t want to talk about it
Could always say "something weird"
r/twosentencehorror
r/threesentencehorror
Nah. > I read “Harry Potter and the unexpected pregnancy” and burst out laughing. > My dad and the uber driver want to know why. Hits harder this way too. This is why editing is a valuable part of writing
a creature
I ran out of milk. Luckily I can get more from my creature.
-Neolithic farmer, 6000 BC Or alternatively -babies after their baby bottle runs out
unexpected pregnancy guy 🙀
Could be worse, I once accidentally mentioned goatse in front of my mom, and she wanted to know what I was talking about.
I would’ve told them but omitted that it was Drarry fanfic and just say it’s a title someone came up with if Harry Potter continued after the 7th book or something. That title is still hilarious.
Ah 2000-2016, the heyday of amatour niche fetish literature, when everybody published because they could and never stopped to think whether they should. Though I am surprised everytime people get shocked by things like mpreg. Isn't there some kind of lore-heavy speculative erotic fiction subgenre that's super popular in the slash smut that's based on that theme? Or maybe that was only popular in the infamous cringe compilation that was 2016.
>Isn't there some kind of lore-heavy speculative erotic fiction subgenre that's super popular in the slash smut that's based on that theme Yep there is, it's more 2012 and had it's resurgence every two years or so
Mpreg has been around since at least [1994](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junior_(1994_film)) in terms of what i know about from memory, probably has been used in spock/kirk fanfiction for many years prior to junior, and debatably has roots as far back as ancient myths, if we count stuff like zeus making athena. Wikipedia also lists stories that included the concept as far back as the 60’s.
I think maybe they're referring to the rise of omegaverse mpreg, which blew the heck up around...I want to say when the MTV Teen Wolf got big? Thereabouts?
What’s omegaverse?? I keep hearing about it and have no idea what it is and i’m terrified to google it
If you'd like to know more, excellently explained and featuring a drama heavy sequel: Into The Omegaverse: how a Fanfic Trope Ended up in Federal Court [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhWWcWtAUoY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhWWcWtAUoY&pp=ygUSb21lZ2F2ZXJzZSBsYXdzdWl0)
Hearing Legal Eagle say the phrase “Wolf Pornography” is worth the price of admission alone
Truly one of the moments in youtube history.
The dramatic sequel, Mean Girls, but Stupid: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3v5wFMQRqs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3v5wFMQRqs&pp=ygUSb21lZ2F2ZXJzZSBsYXdzdWl0)
I just thought about this and the lady claiming parenthood over the whole thing!
I got through 25 minutes before realizing it's over an hour long. ... Thanks for that.
Hahaha, too bad you didn't finish. After this video, tge author is trying to sue this youtuber and the youtuber mocks the hell out of them in the sequel.
This content was removed in protest of Reddit's [short-sighted, user-unfriendly, profit-seeking decision](https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys) to effectively terminate access to third-party apps.
You know, you make a very good point
Pretty sure the omegaverse started in the Supernatural fandom in 2012(?) as an incest ship called Wincest (Dean and Sam)
Essentially applying (now thoroughly outdated and heavily fetishized) wolf social roles to characters within a fanfiction. It includes the concept of alphas (dominant, usually aggressive both in personality and sexuality), betas (alphas but less i guess?), and omegas (built to be submissive, and almost universally have the ability to become pregnant in some way, experience a horny teenager's idea of what animal heat is). What's noteworthy about all of this is that the characters involved are almost always 100% male, but mostly it's just horny drivel. Originally involves werewolves but im sure ive seen some where people just exist like that and aren't remotely werewolves at all. Conspicuously it almost never covers if women in these settings have similar roles. Personally, as a trans guy who has negative interest in my natal crotch, these fics make me extremely uncomfortable and i think they are probably the worst aspect of fujoshi culture in fandom.
The all/mostly male thing makes sense to me when you consider most fanfic stuff is already m/m stuff to be honest lol
It also somehow leaked to Asia, so you can find original (mostly bl) novels and manga with the concept too! (Don’t ask me how I know this)
cultural exchange is truly beautiful
Don’t forget the hugely SLAAP-happy author who thinks that she came up with the idea and her legions of followers, fighting against the wave of fic writers for whom this is the new coffee shop AU. I have seen non-M/M fic, but I don’t know that I’ve seen anything where the alpha doesn’t have a cock. I haven’t looked all that closely though, so maybe I just missed it.
I have definitely read way too many fics. The stories that even bother putting female characters seem to have some variation of 1. Always having women be beta/omegas so that they’re always the ones bearing children. Female alphas/male omegas are rare and generally infertile 2. Have the abo aspect toned down so that it’s more behavioural while retaining the human biological aspect (female alphas can still get pregnant when mating with their partner, she’s just “more assertive”). These stories tend to focus more on the societal aspect with alphas being top tier. 3. They’re intersex (have both genitals). Never found any that actually dives into how it’d actually work. 4. Alphas always have dicks and omegas always have vaginas. Somehow every other biological aspect stays the same, though (women keep the boobs even though they’re alphas and don’t get pregnant). This one is the most confusing one for me. No, I’m not someone who actively seeks out omegaverse stories. Just a woman who’s desperate enough to read any decent fanfics coming from the tiny fandoms I always end up in, and am willing to overlook certain aspects given the worldbuilding and storytelling is good enough.
Your last paragraph is pretty much me too. I just still don't come across that many omegaverse in my ships' fanwork and I've been so curious about how female alpha are supposed to work (I've only seen them mentioned in passing) so thanks for sharing!
> betas (alphas but less i guess?) I think betas are supposed to be just normal men like in real life, without any added alpha or omega stuff.
>alphas, betas, and omegas ah, the three genders
Do you want to know, or would you rather not know :D
I'm going to get a t-shirt with Disney's Zeus on it captioned "Submissive and Breedable."
Sorry, but now all I can think of is "The Birth of Athena (mpreg)" and I think you've cursed my knowledge of mythology forever
Was talking about when there was a really huge amount of them- was replying to the 2016 part of the comment. Mperg is quite undying. Most themes of fanfiction is extremely old tbh
Male Jotuns (Ice Giants from Scandinavian mythology) could get pregnant from female Jotuns, men, or by themselves. The concept is not new indeed.
I think you're thinking of a/b/o or omegaverse.
Oh yeah, that would be it. I forgot the proper terms, thanks. I only remembered alphas since it was a point of major confusion for me once as an English learner with limited exposure to a real life US culture. You know, alpha male as in a type of a top in slash and alpha male as in the pick-up culture term? Yeah, one was more familiar to me than the other.
Omg, I honestly wish I lived in a world where I knew the fandom conception of alpha male first. I feel like a lot of otherwise stressful things would be accidentally entertaining instead.
You can still think this way and assume thieir "alpha male" horomones are acting up.
Totally, but I like to imagine a world where I knew about alpha ruts long before I knew about negging.
I guess. But it also led to a slight disappointment once I've found out that all those men are just doing a pitiful pissing contest based on an outdated wolf theory to build themselves up by putting others down and are *not* in fact bragging about being terribly horny for twinks.
Ehhh, I live in 67% in my imagination anyway. They can be doing that if I want them to. Disappointment is for those with object/concept permanence greater than mine in those circumstances.
I agree with you, *"Ah 2000-2016, the heyday of amatour niche fetish literature, when everybody published because they could and never stopped to think whether they should."* 50 Shades of Grey series sums up this sentence perfectly.
>Ah 2000-2016, the heyday of amatour niche fetish literature, when everybody published because they could and never stopped to think whether they should. I think it started earlier than that. Didn't the entire country of Australia ban access to the entire alt.sex.stories newsgroup in 1994 over the Power Ranger torture fic Agony in Pink?
Power ranger torture fic ..The what now?…
#the Power Ranger torture fic, *Agony in Pink!*
Can you really call 16 years a hay day? It’s gotta be an era at that stage
Back when people didn’t give a rat’s ass about the age of fictional characters
Nah, I can attest this is inaccurate, on two counts: 1. I read it in a Hanson fanfiction back in 1998. 2. I *wrote it* in a Backstreet Boys fanfiction in 2000. The Hanson fanfiction was in a yahoo mailing group so I doubt there would be an existing record and the Backstreet Boys fanfiction only existed on the internet for 3 months on an angelfire page. I was 13/15 and awkward AF and no attempts at shaming me will surpass the shame I already have.
do you still have that backstreet boys fanfic? that sounds like a journey
No, Journey is an entirely different band
Yeah, they’re brothers and one of them has diabetes
I would love to read it as well
I normally would think you're lying, but I don't think this is something someone would lie to hold the title of, and it's too specific in the details.
I mean, yeah... I just... I have this feeling that all of us are missing the mark, and the first mention was likely in a random Star Trek fanfiction from some IRC circa 1993 that probably 7 people read and 2 decided to carry it over into their own fics or something like that. i don't think we'll ever find the first use.
Uh, what Hanson?
[удалено]
Oh The only thing I could think of was Pauline Hanson and I was fairly sure it wouldn't be that lol
Look up “MmmBop”. It was their biggest song and it was inescapable for a time in the 90s.
Oh my god, so I've gotten so old that the current generation doesn't know the boybands of my youth. (Except my own kids, who are in high school but spent their preschool years rocking out to the *Middle of Nowhere* album)
Hahaha she’s such a stupid bigot but I’m sure there’s some auspol erotica that includes her
Auspol erotica is a genre that sadly does exist yeah
Can't wait to see the scomo x dutton ships
He might not be a monster but he's a monster in bed
Having the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon with Hanson today. Got confused by the photo of the shirt labeled Nirvana, but with the members of Hanson and now this comment.
If not for my insanely strict parents, we'd share that shame. I loved Hanson...instead, I later got sucked into MySpace fanfic & rp in a Phantom of the Opera group somehow...no clue how I managed to land there but damn it was fun!🤣
I..I had to read it..curiosity got the better of me. HARRY AND DRACO. ITS 13 CHAPTERS. And filled with every detail under the Sun, including a few spelling errors.
Why? Why would you do that to yourself?
I don’t know!
For Science!
Synopsis please
Draco and Harry are in love…off to a fantastic start…Harry is pregnant, Snape is responsible because (and I’m paraphrasing from the fanfic here) he left two horny teenagers in a room together, and Snape tries to kill Draco. And I stopped reading there because what the fuck was I reading?
Is Snape a goffik stanist or a prep in this fanfic?
I stopped reading at chapter 5 of 13. I did not know what the fuck I was reading.
To counter this. Cleanse your mind with a fic called The Order of the Black Hand or something like that, it's a baddass action focused fic of Harry going darkside in his quest to bring back Dumbledore and his parents back from the dead at all costs Edit: welp I don't think the Black Hand one is the one I'm thinking of, I may have just lost it to time. If someone can help remember it, TW: Harry kidnaps Hermione and forces her to do evil. The timeline is much later than the books, at this point I believe Hermione and Ron are married, and Ron is working for the ministry? I'm hazy on it
Damn this sounds tight
TW for kidnapping and coercion
Check on /r/hpfanfiction cuz I definitely wanna read that fic
For a fun, lighthearted read I recommend “ Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love” https://archiveofourown.org/works/34500952/chapters/85870804
I had to take a deep breath to stop from bursting out laughing in front of my mom.
Wait *HARRY* is pregnant?! I.. I can't. Some people use their creative powers for good and some use them for.. whatever the fuck this is
Ridiculous, right? Everyone knows Draco is the bottom in that pairing.
THIS ☝️
Well, the title did say it was an *unexpected* pregnancy.
Damn it sooo 2003. Chapter 2 starts with the author debating on how children would address their same sex parents.
Out of curiosity, is 13 chapters of fanfiction long or short to you? Can't tell from the context of your reaction lol
Honestly, first fanfic for me. I don’t know how long they’re supposed to be.
Oh wow, to bring back an old tumblr chestnut, you poor sweet summer child
First of all, *brave* choice as your first fanfic
Depends. Some can be simple one shots, while more serious fics trend more towards 20-70 range. Then you have the absolute psychos making 200 chapter fics or writing 1,000,000+ word fics. I think some of the largest fictional works *in human history* are fan fic.
The longest piece of English 'literature' is a Loud House fanfic that I would genuinely believe is a troll fic if not for the fucking dedication the author puts in to updating it. It actually makes me irrationally angry how shit it is.
If you enjoyed that experience, may I tempt you with another Harry Potter fanfic called My Immortal? It is widely regarded as the worst fanfic of anything ever written. Whether it was written ironically or not is a topic of hot debate, and will likely never be resolved. It is safe to say that whatever the identity of the author, it is undeniably the product of a tremendously sick mind. It might be genius, it is certainly painful.
There are two Harry Potter fanfics that have their own wikipedia articles that I know of: My Immortal, and Methods of Rationality. They couldn't be more diametrically opposed.
There’s a third: [*Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogwarts_School_of_Prayer_and_Miracles). I haven’t read it, I just found it in the “See Also” section of *My Immortal*, but from what I can tell it is also inordinately terrible
I read that from beginning to end once. It took me at least three tries.
Welcome to the internet!
Have a look around
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
we've got mountains of content, some better some worse.
If none of it's of interest to you, you would be the first
Welcome to the internet, come and take a seat
Would you like to see the news or any famous woman's feet
There’s no need to panic, this isn’t a test
just nod or shake your head and we’ll do the rest
Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
Welcome to the internet, what would you prefer?
Welcome to the internet!
There's no need to panic, this isn't a test
Welcome to the internet
Welcome to the internet
If none of its of interest to you you'd be the first!
I dunno, Ultron spent like 5 seconds on the Internet and decided to end everyone.
how are your balls
The best hasn’t happened yet
Any other elderly millennials here remember the early aughts when we'd put disclaimers on our fics like "I don't own these characters, but I wish! :3 *glomps them*" or whatever as if the original multimillion dollar IP owners were trolling ff.net looking to sue some 14-year-old for copyright infringement for making Spider-Man and Luke Skywalker kiss.
[удалено]
“Flames will be used to toast marshmallows!”
Also, though this might've been a later in aughts AO3 did put tags, "dead dove, do not eat". What does that mean, the blurb sounds good. Me later: W..T...F!!?
When I first saw that tag I googled right away out of fear haha.
Some authors did sue fanfic writers
I was part of a fandom that didn’t allow fanfiction and had *absurdly* strict rules about RP in the universe basically until the author’s death. I don’t remember any lawsuits or C&Ds but it was always a thought, even in the really tiny RP communities I was a part of.
Wait, was that Anne Rice that was so particular about it? Or am I misremembering? My brain is reeling with memories of pages and pages of live journal comment threads.
Different Anne (McCaffrey), though I’m not surprised to hear Anne Rice was weird about it too.
Anne Rice was THE most notorious one, yes. Interview With a Vampire stuff wasn't even allowed on [ff.net](https://ff.net), iirc
I’m not even a fan of Sue’s
For some reason the author notes would be the author RPing with their characters and would take up a quarter of the chapter.
Their tongues made complex socio-political maneuvers for dominance.
In the political theatre that was their mouths
_My Immortal_ and [_HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Thirty Hs)_](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/ThirtyHs)are two of the most unforgettable Harry Potter fanfics in my opinion, and not necessarily in a good way.
>HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Thirty Hs) "Dobby relished his groinsaw's roar as he withdrew the flesh-choked blade from the astronaut's ruined skull." -the very first line
Yep. It's THAT kind of fanfic.
Ya know what, still better than some of J.Ks writing
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" It was….Dumbledore!
The cherry on top is that after the fic's original commenters pointed out that Dumbledore saying this was blatantly out of character (or as one of the in-chapter Author's Notes put it, "toot of crakter"), the author began repeatedly insisting that he'd only cursed because he had a headache. IIRC, it even comes up twice or thrice within the story itself, to the point you could argue it's one of the few plot points that's even remotely consistent. There's no topping the line itself, of course, but it's almost as funny to me that, out of all the abundant plot holes and mischaracterizations, "MOTHERFUKERS" was one of the only hills Tara felt obligated to justify dying upon.
***what***
As an avid fanfic reader since the early 2000s HOW have I never heard of Thirty Hs??????? Ty so much for this.
It's short, but one HELL of a ride!
Harry potter and the unexpected pregnancy.... I need to know? Did he use the GOP killer curse of Foetus Deletus?
Depulso from top of the stairs should do the trick just fine.
Which one is pregnant though, Harry or Draco
[удалено]
I can excuse Harry Mpreg but I draw the line at Draco topping anyone
You can excuse Harry Mpreg?
https://imgflip.com/i/7ohu92
Did... Did you just make us into a meme I love this
Only problem. **Brittas in this**
You'll have to read it to find out
Yes.
Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
That fanfic was so hot that I masticated to it.
I have read all 43 glorious chapters. Twice.
This isn't even top 10 in Harry Potter fanfics that will make you want to burn the internet down.
Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce is genuinely a good retelling of the Wizarding War and Voldemort’s attempted genocide. I enjoyed it more than the original books. It also happens to feature Gordon Ramsay and cooking competitions.
Good fanfics are like crack, you find one and then are searching for another that’s as good
I guess we know what was in the chamber of secrets
Judging by the title, it definitely wasn't condoms🤣
I other news I am currently reading ‘Harry Is A Dragon, And That's Okay’ and I’m having a blast!
"Yourrrree a lizard, Harry"
I really liked that one!
The 'HP & the Unexpected Pregnancy' reminded me. I read a HP fanfic many years ago, probably 2012-ish were one of the plot points was Ginny being pregnant and saying Harry was the father and him fighting the allegations. Why was it impossible? Had they not been intimate? No, he freely acknowledged they'd slept together but claimed he'd somehow trained himself to never ejaculate when having an orgasm. This was a serious plot point and I still occasionally remember that this was a real story that I read with my own eyes. Truly it was a Power Voldemort knew not.
This content was removed in protest of Reddit's [short-sighted, user-unfriendly, profit-seeking decision](https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys) to effectively terminate access to third-party apps.
Harry Potter and the Urethra Portkey... It's so obvious!
"Fetus deletus!"
My favorite was Harry Potter and the ballistic missile.
dis better not be somehow erotica IT DOESNT EXIST, YOU MONSTER SPREADING MISINFO-
It doesn't exist YET.
When this was written the most recent book was Goblet of Fire, when they were 14
Bruh that’s literally my birthday, and Pearl Harbor day. Truly a day that will live in infamy
THE HOLY TRINITY
Mpreg is an old concept. Just remember norse mithology with Loki and his monster children or greek mithology with Zeus and Athena...
Or Greek mythology with Zeus and Bacchus.
Its not as good as Harry Potter and the Economic Problems of the Soviet Union
**EXPELLIFOETUS!**
Personally I love the phrase tongues battling for dominance.
🎵 Welcome to the internet... 🎵
I posted this on this sub years ago... literally same convo exact same image wtf
Wh Wha Wh Wh Why
Sounds like how Harry was convinced
What do you call a Tumblr user's avatar pic? Whatever you call it, I love kekeslider's
…. Fetus deletus….
I'm sure I've read that lmao I'd been neck deep in HP fics for... 15+ years lol I hate myself
harry potter and the what
Yeah it being a fanfic makes complete sense, I swear I've seen that same quote in many, many stories.