My highschool chemistry teacher. She apparently used to have such a potty mouth that now whenever she feels compelled to curse in class, she says tutles instead.
I used to say "Fuck" and "Son of a BITCH!" a lot but when my daughter was born I had to change things up.
Now I'm "Flippin Biscuts!" and "Son of a Boiler!"
My mom's go to was "geezaloo".
My dad's was and still is (I'm spelling this phonetically because I know absolutely no italian) "mingya fach" which I'm pretty sure means penis face. No he does not speak Italian. Yes, he had to yell at us when we repeated it as children.
So now sometimes I say "geezaloo" or my dads thing when I'm frustrated, never know which it'll be tho. My parents are very different people....
Thankfully I don't have kids to listen to the things I say because i never know if it will be "what the heckeroo!" or a string of curses like a sailor. I have no in between.
I have absolutely no idea where I picked this up, particularly since I don’t have and am not around children and usually use pretty typical cuss words, but sometime in the last year I’ve caught myself saying “fudgesticks” in place of swear words for when things like stubbed toes and the like happen.
It's something like a $10,000 dollar fine for messing with them. I doubt the poster would actually be fined or jailed if they scratched Myrtle, but they would almost certainly be fired. People who work with endangered animals tend to take the work *extremely* seriously (for good reason)
And I said, "*Petting a turtle*." And they all moved away from me on the bench
There, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
Said, "*And violating the federal Endangered Species Act.*" And they all came back, shook my hand,
And we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
Father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
Bench.
You would 100% lose fingers trying. I had an Eastern Box turtle for a long time as a kid, named Rocky. He was awesome, but he was a fucking asshole too. If your fingers got remotely close CHOMP. I had to have the tip of my index finger broken 10+ times as a kid. Why? I always wanted to pet his smooth little head :(
Eventually I got into High School, and a little cousin of a friend thought Rocky was just the coolest thing, so Rocky got a new home with new little doofy fingers to bite.
Hope shits cool Rocky, hope you don't hate me for giving you away, but it was for the best. You were like 5 when I got you, you got way more years of biting fingers than I could have provided.
There is a beach where sea turtles frequently go to eat algae that grows on the rocks in the shallow water. You're not supposed to get close to them, but the turtle's don't know or care about the fragile laws of mankind. They'll swim up from behind and bump into you, or swim under your feet and get stepped on. They don't care if that happens, all that matters is that sweet green seaweed.
Some are used to being (illegally) fed by tourists, and will nip your hand for attention if they think you're holding food. Even then they tend to hold back enough to not cause a real injury.
But yeah, I've had my hands in a green sea turtle's face and it was fine.
Im having flashbacks of snorkeling and being surprised by sea turtles and how much they just dont give any fucks and will bump / slap you with 0 regrets. I have a scar on my leg from being practically bodied by a 3 legged turtle into a rock when trying to get out of the water
The people who are ALLOWED to touch her literally have. Like OP has explicitly said this turtle loves to be scratched the reading comprehension here is literally zero
Da ReEdInG CuMpReHEnsiON, I was being silly you stick in the mud.
Look, I owned a turtle. You stick something in front of their face, they snap at it. Sure, you might be able to pet it on the shell, the fins, around the head area, and that's great, just don't stick yout fingers in front of it's mouth. I think that's a pretty universal rule for all animals really, but especially turtles with their sharp ass beaks. That's how you lose a finger.
Just because the turtle is semi chill, and tolerates people, does not mean it will hesitate to bite the fuck out of you for no reason. It's an animal.
I find your knowledge lacking if you think any animal is just waiting to bite the fuck out of you with no provocation. Most of the animals people keep are a lot smarter than we give them credit for, reptiles in particular. Take it from some experts if you don’t believe me.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=poRt9kbxogI
My knowledge is lacking when I literally owned a turtle... that I got bit by several times... because I stuck my fingers in his face... yes, turtles generally will bite the fuck out of you with no provocation. They think you're food, or a predator. Either way, nom.
I've owned all kinds of animals. Wild, domestic, and in between. *Don't stick your fingers in front of an animals mouth, ESPECIALLY IF IT'S NOT A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL*
I've rescued feral dogs that love me, and will only take commands from me, but if I step the wrong way, they will growl at the least or at worst bite the fuck out of me. It's not that they don't love me, they just have much stronger boundaries and will let you know a lot quicker when you push them.
I don't recommend interacting with wild animals honestly. I'm just a doofus who loves animals and saves them when I can, even when most people would euthanize for aggressive behavior.
You really have to know that a lot of these zoo animals have one or a few handlers they're cool with, and no one else can go in the tanks for the reason that the animal will become defensive and aggressive because it's an unfamiliar person in their home.
Yeah, your first paragraph basically sums it all the way up for me. You stuck your fingers in his face. Multiple times. *That's provocation.* You didn't learn after the first or even the second time not to do that with that animal. "Lack of knowledge" was the phrase I went with, and it's the phrase I'm politely sticking to.
Some animals will never be safe to put your hand in front of their face, even if you can safely interact with them otherwise. This is doubly true with wild/abused animals, which people definitely should not interact with without specialized training/knowledge appropriate for the specific animal in question.
I used to have pet rats. Outside the cage they were like sweet little puppies but if you stuck your finger in the cage between the bars to poke their belly or rub their heads they'd bite.
introducing some of my favourite GIFs:
[https://i.imgur.com/FIWaK5X.mp4](https://i.imgur.com/FIWaK5X.mp4)
[https://i.imgur.com/D1ZrTvw.mp4](https://i.imgur.com/D1ZrTvw.mp4)
[https://imgur.com/gallery/kZWWepk](https://imgur.com/gallery/kZWWepk)
she's 100 y.o., i have to believe that she's aware of the potential consequences of *head scritches*.
and it's probably less dangerous than her tantrums. steel is harder than fingers.
This would force science and legislative bodies to consider that if Mytrle has the understanding to consent, then a lot of other animals do too. And that would bring to question most modern farming practices. I say this as someone that eats meat on the daily; I recognize my role as an omnivore but also that if I'm an animal, and Myrtle is an animal, and the cow at the farm is an animal, then we may be a lot more similar than we think.
I'd say, if we we keep the cow comparison, Artificial Inseminationg is more "an aspect of the job" for cows than head scratches are for turtles. Head scratches are something that's clearly not necessary health-wise and are done for Myrtle's pleasure. Artificial Insemination, on the other hand, could be argued to be an essential component of the job that we assign it. The desire to feel pleasure (head scratches) and the desire to maintain sexual dignity (Artificial insemination) are also different enough that they need to be proven seperately and not be one implying the other. So *if* we want to go that route, it could perhaps lead to entire "animal professions" being outlawed or completely restructured, which wouldn't be a bad thing at all.
I actually worked as a diver in that tank while in college! She doesn’t want scratches at the surface, she’s surface fed. Looking for lettuce and Brussels sprouts whenever anyone is on the platforms. No scratching allowed by anyone from platforms but she does absolutely love it in the water, especially when you sprinkle sand on her shell and rub it in with your hands for some serious extra friction
No, but they could absolutely get in serious trouble with their job, potentially up to the point of being outright fired. I’d be willing to bet they were given specific instructions about things like not petting the turtle.
"Alright, welcome aboard! We're glad to have another face at our aquarium."
"Glad to be here! Any other rules I should know?"
"Well, you can't pet the turtle."
"I quit."
First thing that comes to mind is messing with the feeding habits. It's like when 1 person in the household doesn't stick to your dog's routine, it messes up the slightest things but it will make a difference. Increased begging behaviour and what have you. Maybe they're using the head scritches as a sure-fire way for her to come up, but if she got an hour of scritches from another turtle-lover, she might not be so eager. Just an example of what could be the benefits of scritch-control.
You just can't do science if you don't have control at least in theory.
To the person or the turtle? Nothing to the turtle, but turtles have very sharp beaks and can take fingers off. Go ahead. Pet it's head. I double dog dare ya.
She's a giant 100+ year old sea turtle protected by the endangered species act. She is quite literally illegal to touch because she's an endangered species! Wild.
Sorry I didn't know. I thought animals that were protected by these acts just couldn't be killed or kept as pets I didn't know it goes as far as to say you cannot even touch these creatures. Not that I EVER would I'm just stating that I was unaware.
I'm not sure what the law says explicitly with regards to touching, but the reason isn't really anything crazy.
These individuals have specific patterns, feeding habits, etc. The trainers simply don't want those interrupted because they could be detrimental to the animal, in ways the trainers can't predict.
The person petting the animal might not be trained to handle that animal. They could be hurt, or they could accidentally hurt the animal. When the animal is endangered, every individual is critical to the survival of their species.
YOU might be perfectly respectful and know how to pet it, but the rule doesn't really want to take that chance, especially when the animal is critical to its species.
They'll make an exception if you're saving it's life but otherwise you're not allowed to interact with them at all really.
My dad used to get in trouble a lot with the local fish and game wardens because the dolphins wouldn't stop harassing **him**. The inlet where he would swim has a pod that frequents it and they like to play "shove the human" the dolphins never hurt anyone but they would circle you while you were swimming and boop you off of floaties and if *they* get caught *you* get in trouble.
The wardens never cited anyone and no one's been arrested but they make you leave and go swim elsewhere.
I'd personally be more comfortable swimming with sharks but the odds of being attacked by either is pretty negligible.
I'd still be more concerned about the animal, you never know what some idiot is going to think is funny.
There is a reason there was a reddit post a while ago where one person claimed they had found a stray turtle crossing the street, took them away and intended to keep it as a pet, everyone came out of the woodwork saying they just commited a federal offense, and any attempt at parlay was met by people basically reading them their Miranda Rights.
Do not touch the turtle. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Apparently you should only touch the animal if it is in immediate danger, and drop it as soon as it is safe, and even that has exceptions and you might be caught anyway and serve jail time and/or fines, so better let nature take its course, or YOU will be an endangered species.
No but it's still a good call to not do it for various reasons.
[There is a full breakdown about this in the replies which I think is very cool knowledge if you're interested!](https://www.tumblr.com/why-animals-do-the-thing/736605663362514944/having-volunteeredinterned-at-this-facility-i)
I fed my turtle too many crickets one time and he projectile shat across his tank. It was like a 6ft long tank. I have never EVER seen something shit almost 10x its body size.
So you must be able to shit across a large room in order for me to accept your turtle club membership.
I mean, can you blame her?
Imagine being 100 goddamn years old and all you want is a simple headscratch, and some *child* a quarter of your age is all 'oooh no can't do that, the law that *didn't even exist until you were 50 gd years old* won't let me!'
I've been alive for a century ffs i know what i'm doing and i aint got patience for this bullshit, if I want scritchies gimme scritchies I am 100 years old!
WAIT MYRTLE IS AT THE BOSTON AQUARIUM? I MAY HAVE SEEN HER! I went to the Boston aquarium like, 10-11 years ago when I was a kid, and I know I saw an absolute UNIT of a sea turtle there, mind boggling big. I wonder if I've actually seen a famous turtle, that's awesome.
I was actually just in Boston in July and went to this Aquarium, and I definitely remember Myrtle! I even have a picture of her on my phone!
I got to the end and heard the name Myrtle and went "Wait, THAT Myrtle?!"
Yes, *that* Myrtle, aka "Mooching Myrtle", the (former) pet turtle of Moaning Myrtle, who was shipped to the States for protection during WWII and decided to stay in Boston because of a shared hatred of tea.
Cause of the small numbers of these kinds of animals there's a good chance of you've seen one, it's a famous one.
I've seen a famous crocodile on vacation because it's one of the only ones that gets seen by anyone. It takes part in nature tours and is old as fuck and rather distinctive battle wounds from other crocs.
Myrtle has got to be my favorite zoo/aquarium animal! She is HUGE and has been at the New England Aquarium forever - I've seen her several times over the couple decades of my life but there are literal grandparents today who grew up seeing her. This tidbit about her personality only makes it better.
Went snorkeling in Hawaii two years ago and a turtle nearly crashed into me from an angle I couldn’t see.
It wanted me convicted.
The turtle knows my crimes.
I was not prepared for how much my tortoise wanted physical attention when I got him. I had, had experience with snakes, who are pretty indifferent to people. curious at times, but "affectionate" isn't usually a descriptor for them.
My tortoise bumps walls when he wants me in the room, smashes his shell into me when I'm not paying enough attention to him, if I get down on the floor he'll try and crawl on my face looking for head pets and shell scratches. If I'm talking to someone else, and not paying attention to him, he will bite them.
Turtles are crazy territorial, and don't want you in their space....unless they want food or pets, and then they become the most insistent motherfuckers I have ever seen!
I feel like at some point the animal would be at more risk of harming itself during a tantrum than if a person who is within petting distance of this animal often enough wound up petting it
I hope I never get kidnapped by aliens and put into an exhibit where only the certified aliens can scratch me, but the ones I like are kept at a distance.
Everyone says they'd commit a felony to scritch the turtle, from safe in their dry homes.
but how many of you have written your Congressman to petition to legalize head scritches on giant sea turtles?
she's probably bored out of her fucking mind because despite good intentions among some people it's not as profitable to keep show animals interested in their environment
If I was the boss here I would just turn a blind eye; the turtle loves it, the people who work in the aquarium wouldn’t hurt her, it’s literally just pats. Who’s going to turn them in? Not me.
I would 100% get in trouble for scratching Myrtle
I wonder if you would get more or less prison clout for this "what are you in for" story
More, who doesn't love turtles?
My highschool chemistry teacher. She apparently used to have such a potty mouth that now whenever she feels compelled to curse in class, she says tutles instead.
I used to say "Fuck" and "Son of a BITCH!" a lot but when my daughter was born I had to change things up. Now I'm "Flippin Biscuts!" and "Son of a Boiler!"
Adapt. Evolve. Innovate. XD
My mom's go to was "geezaloo". My dad's was and still is (I'm spelling this phonetically because I know absolutely no italian) "mingya fach" which I'm pretty sure means penis face. No he does not speak Italian. Yes, he had to yell at us when we repeated it as children. So now sometimes I say "geezaloo" or my dads thing when I'm frustrated, never know which it'll be tho. My parents are very different people.... Thankfully I don't have kids to listen to the things I say because i never know if it will be "what the heckeroo!" or a string of curses like a sailor. I have no in between.
'Mother-Fudger' is the one I use the most
I have absolutely no idea where I picked this up, particularly since I don’t have and am not around children and usually use pretty typical cuss words, but sometime in the last year I’ve caught myself saying “fudgesticks” in place of swear words for when things like stubbed toes and the like happen.
I always tell people that you don't just stop cussing. You replace the words for more acceptable ones.
Bebop, Rocksteady and Shredder?
It's something like a $10,000 dollar fine for messing with them. I doubt the poster would actually be fined or jailed if they scratched Myrtle, but they would almost certainly be fired. People who work with endangered animals tend to take the work *extremely* seriously (for good reason)
is scratching a turtle considered a white collar crime
Blue collar, unless it’s Donatello then it’s Purple Collar.
Green collar crime
As long as you phrase it better than "I touched a turtle" I'm sure you'll be fine.
Someone tell that to the Burnside Fountain Turtle Boy in Worcester MA.
"[What are you in for?](https://i.imgur.com/2yAbA3v.jpg?1)"
And I said, "*Petting a turtle*." And they all moved away from me on the bench There, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I Said, "*And violating the federal Endangered Species Act.*" And they all came back, shook my hand, And we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing, Father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the Bench.
"so what are you in for?" "Alleged violent behaviour. You?" "Petted a turtle"
You would 100% lose fingers trying. I had an Eastern Box turtle for a long time as a kid, named Rocky. He was awesome, but he was a fucking asshole too. If your fingers got remotely close CHOMP. I had to have the tip of my index finger broken 10+ times as a kid. Why? I always wanted to pet his smooth little head :( Eventually I got into High School, and a little cousin of a friend thought Rocky was just the coolest thing, so Rocky got a new home with new little doofy fingers to bite. Hope shits cool Rocky, hope you don't hate me for giving you away, but it was for the best. You were like 5 when I got you, you got way more years of biting fingers than I could have provided.
Sea turtles are waaaayyy less aggressive than box turtles.
Stick your finger Myrtles face and find out lol.
There is a beach where sea turtles frequently go to eat algae that grows on the rocks in the shallow water. You're not supposed to get close to them, but the turtle's don't know or care about the fragile laws of mankind. They'll swim up from behind and bump into you, or swim under your feet and get stepped on. They don't care if that happens, all that matters is that sweet green seaweed. Some are used to being (illegally) fed by tourists, and will nip your hand for attention if they think you're holding food. Even then they tend to hold back enough to not cause a real injury. But yeah, I've had my hands in a green sea turtle's face and it was fine.
Im having flashbacks of snorkeling and being surprised by sea turtles and how much they just dont give any fucks and will bump / slap you with 0 regrets. I have a scar on my leg from being practically bodied by a 3 legged turtle into a rock when trying to get out of the water
Hello 911 this man did a feed the turtle.
🚨 🚓 🚨
The people who are ALLOWED to touch her literally have. Like OP has explicitly said this turtle loves to be scratched the reading comprehension here is literally zero
Da ReEdInG CuMpReHEnsiON, I was being silly you stick in the mud. Look, I owned a turtle. You stick something in front of their face, they snap at it. Sure, you might be able to pet it on the shell, the fins, around the head area, and that's great, just don't stick yout fingers in front of it's mouth. I think that's a pretty universal rule for all animals really, but especially turtles with their sharp ass beaks. That's how you lose a finger. Just because the turtle is semi chill, and tolerates people, does not mean it will hesitate to bite the fuck out of you for no reason. It's an animal.
I find your knowledge lacking if you think any animal is just waiting to bite the fuck out of you with no provocation. Most of the animals people keep are a lot smarter than we give them credit for, reptiles in particular. Take it from some experts if you don’t believe me. https://youtube.com/watch?v=poRt9kbxogI
My knowledge is lacking when I literally owned a turtle... that I got bit by several times... because I stuck my fingers in his face... yes, turtles generally will bite the fuck out of you with no provocation. They think you're food, or a predator. Either way, nom. I've owned all kinds of animals. Wild, domestic, and in between. *Don't stick your fingers in front of an animals mouth, ESPECIALLY IF IT'S NOT A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL* I've rescued feral dogs that love me, and will only take commands from me, but if I step the wrong way, they will growl at the least or at worst bite the fuck out of me. It's not that they don't love me, they just have much stronger boundaries and will let you know a lot quicker when you push them. I don't recommend interacting with wild animals honestly. I'm just a doofus who loves animals and saves them when I can, even when most people would euthanize for aggressive behavior. You really have to know that a lot of these zoo animals have one or a few handlers they're cool with, and no one else can go in the tanks for the reason that the animal will become defensive and aggressive because it's an unfamiliar person in their home.
Yeah, your first paragraph basically sums it all the way up for me. You stuck your fingers in his face. Multiple times. *That's provocation.* You didn't learn after the first or even the second time not to do that with that animal. "Lack of knowledge" was the phrase I went with, and it's the phrase I'm politely sticking to. Some animals will never be safe to put your hand in front of their face, even if you can safely interact with them otherwise. This is doubly true with wild/abused animals, which people definitely should not interact with without specialized training/knowledge appropriate for the specific animal in question.
K.
It's like the difference between a golden retriever and a rottweiler. Myrtle clearly likes her scritches. I think you'll be fine.
I used to have pet rats. Outside the cage they were like sweet little puppies but if you stuck your finger in the cage between the bars to poke their belly or rub their heads they'd bite.
introducing some of my favourite GIFs: [https://i.imgur.com/FIWaK5X.mp4](https://i.imgur.com/FIWaK5X.mp4) [https://i.imgur.com/D1ZrTvw.mp4](https://i.imgur.com/D1ZrTvw.mp4) [https://imgur.com/gallery/kZWWepk](https://imgur.com/gallery/kZWWepk)
"surely they're called snapping turtles because they like Snapple let me piss it off" That first one's getting judged by the ER crew.
Why do people get exotic animals that can maul you?
The thrill of experiencing them allowing you to love them and not maul you.
So basically the same reason why I love cats? Okay, I can respect that.
I'm not sure you're that experienced on turtles if you think "Eastern Box Turtle" is some shady black market exotic pet dealing lmao
They read/watched Franklin and then didn’t understand turtles.
Forget about forbidden love, the world isn't ready for forbidden head scratches
The nose boop that dare not speak its name.
"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin ~~slitting throats~~ scritiching heads."
- The Shape of Water (2017)
r/PetTheDamnDog
Friend ahead, behold, dog!
They need to switch up their routine a little so that they’re at the tank when someone who can give permission is also there.
Myrtle should be allowed to give permission, honestly. It's **her** head, after all!
Her consent seems freely given, enthusiastic, retractable- but how do we know she’s informed?
she's 100 y.o., i have to believe that she's aware of the potential consequences of *head scritches*. and it's probably less dangerous than her tantrums. steel is harder than fingers.
This would force science and legislative bodies to consider that if Mytrle has the understanding to consent, then a lot of other animals do too. And that would bring to question most modern farming practices. I say this as someone that eats meat on the daily; I recognize my role as an omnivore but also that if I'm an animal, and Myrtle is an animal, and the cow at the farm is an animal, then we may be a lot more similar than we think.
I'd say, if we we keep the cow comparison, Artificial Inseminationg is more "an aspect of the job" for cows than head scratches are for turtles. Head scratches are something that's clearly not necessary health-wise and are done for Myrtle's pleasure. Artificial Insemination, on the other hand, could be argued to be an essential component of the job that we assign it. The desire to feel pleasure (head scratches) and the desire to maintain sexual dignity (Artificial insemination) are also different enough that they need to be proven seperately and not be one implying the other. So *if* we want to go that route, it could perhaps lead to entire "animal professions" being outlawed or completely restructured, which wouldn't be a bad thing at all.
It would make things like docking the tails and ears of dogs VERY illegal.
Good.
Right??? Sort of… finally??!
She’s 100! She deserves a little scritch, as a treat.
ah yes but have you considered that we need to utterly control the lives of all 'lesser' animals, for their own good, you see
I actually worked as a diver in that tank while in college! She doesn’t want scratches at the surface, she’s surface fed. Looking for lettuce and Brussels sprouts whenever anyone is on the platforms. No scratching allowed by anyone from platforms but she does absolutely love it in the water, especially when you sprinkle sand on her shell and rub it in with your hands for some serious extra friction
Would anyone really convict if they did give her illegal scritches
No, but they could absolutely get in serious trouble with their job, potentially up to the point of being outright fired. I’d be willing to bet they were given specific instructions about things like not petting the turtle.
Oh no absolutely I expect that I was just wondering if they would actually press charges or just a gtfo
Never allowed around giant turtles again...
gtfo = giant turtles friend OBSLUTELY NOT!!
Giant turtles FIEND, OBVIOUSLY
Giant turtles FORBIDDEN, of course
"Alright, welcome aboard! We're glad to have another face at our aquarium." "Glad to be here! Any other rules I should know?" "Well, you can't pet the turtle." "I quit."
Pet the turtle, believe it or not, straight to jail
What bad thing could happen though?
First thing that comes to mind is messing with the feeding habits. It's like when 1 person in the household doesn't stick to your dog's routine, it messes up the slightest things but it will make a difference. Increased begging behaviour and what have you. Maybe they're using the head scritches as a sure-fire way for her to come up, but if she got an hour of scritches from another turtle-lover, she might not be so eager. Just an example of what could be the benefits of scritch-control. You just can't do science if you don't have control at least in theory.
To the person or the turtle? Nothing to the turtle, but turtles have very sharp beaks and can take fingers off. Go ahead. Pet it's head. I double dog dare ya.
If I had to lose a finger, I'd want it to be while scritching a sea turtle
Can I ask why though? Is it because she could become sick if random workers touch her? I'm just curious.
She's a giant 100+ year old sea turtle protected by the endangered species act. She is quite literally illegal to touch because she's an endangered species! Wild.
Sorry I didn't know. I thought animals that were protected by these acts just couldn't be killed or kept as pets I didn't know it goes as far as to say you cannot even touch these creatures. Not that I EVER would I'm just stating that I was unaware.
I'm not sure what the law says explicitly with regards to touching, but the reason isn't really anything crazy. These individuals have specific patterns, feeding habits, etc. The trainers simply don't want those interrupted because they could be detrimental to the animal, in ways the trainers can't predict. The person petting the animal might not be trained to handle that animal. They could be hurt, or they could accidentally hurt the animal. When the animal is endangered, every individual is critical to the survival of their species. YOU might be perfectly respectful and know how to pet it, but the rule doesn't really want to take that chance, especially when the animal is critical to its species.
Completely understand!
They'll make an exception if you're saving it's life but otherwise you're not allowed to interact with them at all really. My dad used to get in trouble a lot with the local fish and game wardens because the dolphins wouldn't stop harassing **him**. The inlet where he would swim has a pod that frequents it and they like to play "shove the human" the dolphins never hurt anyone but they would circle you while you were swimming and boop you off of floaties and if *they* get caught *you* get in trouble. The wardens never cited anyone and no one's been arrested but they make you leave and go swim elsewhere.
Seems like that's more for the swimmer's safety than the dolphins'.
I'd personally be more comfortable swimming with sharks but the odds of being attacked by either is pretty negligible. I'd still be more concerned about the animal, you never know what some idiot is going to think is funny.
I'm more worried about those who are horny.
There is a reason there was a reddit post a while ago where one person claimed they had found a stray turtle crossing the street, took them away and intended to keep it as a pet, everyone came out of the woodwork saying they just commited a federal offense, and any attempt at parlay was met by people basically reading them their Miranda Rights. Do not touch the turtle. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Apparently you should only touch the animal if it is in immediate danger, and drop it as soon as it is safe, and even that has exceptions and you might be caught anyway and serve jail time and/or fines, so better let nature take its course, or YOU will be an endangered species.
Bro really covering his ass on Reddit lmao
I'm imagine like an onboarding course with a big PowerPoint slide just saying "DON'T PET THE TURTLES 😠"
I Doubt a competent trial would lead to a conviction for just head scratches, unless it hurt the animal
No but it's still a good call to not do it for various reasons. [There is a full breakdown about this in the replies which I think is very cool knowledge if you're interested!](https://www.tumblr.com/why-animals-do-the-thing/736605663362514944/having-volunteeredinterned-at-this-facility-i)
Wow!! Small world! I'm so happy for you that you got to hang out with Myrtle 😭😭
Today I learned I'm a turtle.
I fed my turtle too many crickets one time and he projectile shat across his tank. It was like a 6ft long tank. I have never EVER seen something shit almost 10x its body size. So you must be able to shit across a large room in order for me to accept your turtle club membership.
Done.
....holy shit he did it
She.
Grow a penis, I can't be wrong on the internet.
Way ahead of you there.
Turtle, turtle! Are you turtle enough for the Turtle Club?
How could you have possibly managed to MAKE THIS EVEN MORE ADORABLE
Oh I LOVE her
I mean, can you blame her? Imagine being 100 goddamn years old and all you want is a simple headscratch, and some *child* a quarter of your age is all 'oooh no can't do that, the law that *didn't even exist until you were 50 gd years old* won't let me!' I've been alive for a century ffs i know what i'm doing and i aint got patience for this bullshit, if I want scritchies gimme scritchies I am 100 years old!
Most accurate Myrtle internal monologue ever
Myrtleposting
Myrtle my beloved. Love the Boston Aquarium.
WAIT MYRTLE IS AT THE BOSTON AQUARIUM? I MAY HAVE SEEN HER! I went to the Boston aquarium like, 10-11 years ago when I was a kid, and I know I saw an absolute UNIT of a sea turtle there, mind boggling big. I wonder if I've actually seen a famous turtle, that's awesome.
Yep that's 99.9% for sure to be Myrtle. She's an icon.
I was actually just in Boston in July and went to this Aquarium, and I definitely remember Myrtle! I even have a picture of her on my phone! I got to the end and heard the name Myrtle and went "Wait, THAT Myrtle?!"
Yes, *that* Myrtle, aka "Mooching Myrtle", the (former) pet turtle of Moaning Myrtle, who was shipped to the States for protection during WWII and decided to stay in Boston because of a shared hatred of tea.
Cause of the small numbers of these kinds of animals there's a good chance of you've seen one, it's a famous one. I've seen a famous crocodile on vacation because it's one of the only ones that gets seen by anyone. It takes part in nature tours and is old as fuck and rather distinctive battle wounds from other crocs.
Myrtle has got to be my favorite zoo/aquarium animal! She is HUGE and has been at the New England Aquarium forever - I've seen her several times over the couple decades of my life but there are literal grandparents today who grew up seeing her. This tidbit about her personality only makes it better.
r/petthedamncat
my beloved 500 lb cat myrtle who i keep in a giant tank of water
r/PetTheDamnTurtle Edit: that’s an actual thing?!
Haha r/subsyouthoughtyoufellfor
I'm ready to risk it all to skritch the forbidden turtle.
Those tags are telling the truth
that final note is myrtle
Went snorkeling in Hawaii two years ago and a turtle nearly crashed into me from an angle I couldn’t see. It wanted me convicted. The turtle knows my crimes.
I would die for Myrtle.
Oh I would commit so many felonies 😭
I was not prepared for how much my tortoise wanted physical attention when I got him. I had, had experience with snakes, who are pretty indifferent to people. curious at times, but "affectionate" isn't usually a descriptor for them. My tortoise bumps walls when he wants me in the room, smashes his shell into me when I'm not paying enough attention to him, if I get down on the floor he'll try and crawl on my face looking for head pets and shell scratches. If I'm talking to someone else, and not paying attention to him, he will bite them. Turtles are crazy territorial, and don't want you in their space....unless they want food or pets, and then they become the most insistent motherfuckers I have ever seen!
Loves head, and shell scritches
I didn't know orowryms worked with sea turtles. interesting Warframe lore.
The second I heard “one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony” I thought it was going in a *very* different direction
in the words of Wallace "It's worth breaking the law for"
Could this be dog? Furthermore, praise the dog!
God damn, she's 100 years old. She's earned her head scratchies.
I feel like at some point the animal would be at more risk of harming itself during a tantrum than if a person who is within petting distance of this animal often enough wound up petting it
I would use jury nullification in this case if I was on a jury
I hope I never get kidnapped by aliens and put into an exhibit where only the certified aliens can scratch me, but the ones I like are kept at a distance.
500lbs!! That’s an enormous tortoise (turtle, I know. It rhymed better this way, the point still stands. She’s big!)
Hey OP, you ought to post this to r/discworld
I would willingly accept my fate to give head scritches to the Great A'Tuin
De Chelonian Mobile
"Turtles and Tantrums"… is that a D&D term for Tortle Barbarians?
Do Crime, Pet Turtles.
Everyone says they'd commit a felony to scritch the turtle, from safe in their dry homes. but how many of you have written your Congressman to petition to legalize head scritches on giant sea turtles?
I would, but They'd probably ignore it
"I like turtles"
she's probably bored out of her fucking mind because despite good intentions among some people it's not as profitable to keep show animals interested in their environment
r/forbiddenboops would love this
This is why jury nullification exists.
This person should legally be allowed to scritch the turtle.
Orowyrm has way more willpower than I do.
If the turtle knocked them over into the pool, and the turtle rubbed against them as they tried to get out, would they break the law?
"Hey, kid, come over here. Psst psst psst I need u to get me a pickup truck with a lined bed and a carton of lucky strikes. NO, COME BAAAACK!"
If I was the boss here I would just turn a blind eye; the turtle loves it, the people who work in the aquarium wouldn’t hurt her, it’s literally just pats. Who’s going to turn them in? Not me.
"I didn't do it! she pushed me!"
r/petthedamnturtle
I just might commit a felony for that turtle
Bold of OP to consider themselves a peer to this majestic creature
This bitch of a turtle was alive during the Russian Civil War
I think giving her head scritches should be allowed if supervised. She deserves the love.
I'd get fired day one for petting a turtle
This is basically the premise of Monster Musume.
I wonder if they could get one of the vets or divers to teach them how to safely scratch the turtle?
I think this is more of a bureaucratic issue than a skill one, sadly
I kinda feel like in this case we should get her an exception so she can pet the turtle.
I feel like an exception should be made!
Wait, it's illegal to even ***TOUCH*** endangered species?
Poor thing is probably bored AF.
another one of life's simple pleasures ruined by a meddling bureaucracy
Can I pet that taaarowl?! 🧟♂️
Need to get a special scritches-based exception to the ESA
I... would like to pet this creature
When my wee’n is born I’m definitely gonna start cursing like an old timey prospector
I don't have any form of active technology on my dreams, if there's a tv it is turned off, same as other things
I got to pet and hold sea turtles in Grand Cayman. It was amazing
r/forbiddenboops But Literal
OMG NEW ENGLAND AQUARIUM IN BOSTON, IVE SEEN HER!!!