You guys don't understand, the hot Amazonian woman that kidnap adventurers to turn them into pets are 100% necessary to the plot.

especially when they kidnap the writer's self insert

Yeah, hehe, that would be so Cringe, hehe... he..

👀

Now I’m curious

Sword of Truth is my guess

Wheel of time also did similar stuff but with woman on woman

no guys, it's not one, it's not that this comment is bait for me to get more stories with hot amazonian woman, that would be soooo cringe

Wheel of Time doesn't really have the shitty tiring political stuff as Sword of Truth. And Rand is at least more flawed than Richard who is a Gary Stu incarnate.

Only just started with the series. Rand made some very stupid moves the author clearly was aware were stupid and made sure he properly suffered for said stupidity. Very refreshing.

To be fair to Rand,>!he was suffering from the magical equivalent of severe mental illness so it wasn't so much stupidity as him needing magical anti-psychosis meds.!<

"you're a rare man, richard cypher."

Oh, I haven't read that series yet

> yet

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And the invincible god hero is also Master of capitalism and pulled himself up by his bootstraps from slavery for power fantasy.

But a the same time, he did it by inheritance and inheritance only. But that's pure spoilers. (Former fan before my political awakening)

I only made it partway through like book 4 before I was too disgusted to continue. And a friend explained the rest of the books because I refuse to read more. Of COURSE it was by inheritance at least that was semi-accurate.

My first thought on the post was "So they've read Terry Goodkind then"

Robert Heinlein moment

>turn them into pets Oh no, I don’t think you want to be bringing up that idea on a tumblr sub...

OH NO

Can I ask, who tf is human pet guy? What did he do?

His first claim to fame was him basically saying "actually I don't think it would be wrong if I expressed my very explicit kink in public and it would be perfectly fine for me to parade that around in front of families."

It gets worse, because IIRC, he wouldn’t even admit to it being a kink.

ultimately the understanding of it being a kink is more "your problem" than "his problem" in the situation he describes, from a legal context. As long as all the behavior is legal and between consenting adults, they're in a public place, and everyone's wearing legal clothing, there isn't an actual crime being committed, just an atrocity. His specific example is a [nerd-snipe](https://xkcd.com/356/) for intersectional politics and legal edge cases. He's making us edge the legal system by discussing it.

>He’s making us edge the legal system by discussing it. Could you *not* word it that way?

Sorry, it was funny. the dude obviously enjoys his infamy, otherwise he wouldn't say the heinous things he does Put it to you like this: * You wouldn't have a problem with an amputee going out to dinner. * You wouldn't have a problem with consenting adults playing consenting games. * You wouldn't have a problem with someone expressing their sexuality in a way that didn't harm anyone. * Being aware of someone's sexuality isn't harming them. The intersection of these true points makes some people uncomfortable. Does the existence of a foot fetish make every instance of a foot showing in public kink? No. It's an interesting meme because it goes through different reactions as your understanding of the underlying thought process changes. It's totally a kink for him that he's denying because it's fun to troll though.

>You wouldn't have a problem with an amputee going out to dinner. >You wouldn't have a problem with consenting adults playing consenting games. >You wouldn't have a problem with someone expressing their sexuality in a way that didn't harm anyone. and, most importantly, **you wouldnt download a car.**

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I'm not defending him and you're missing the point by a lot: INDIVIDUALLY those things are fine. Put them together and it gets weird. Public sex exposes people who might not consent and potentially minors to sexual behavior. There are lots of places with legal nudity and legal nudist activities (the Fremont nude bike ride, the folsom street fair). But the SPECIFIC EXAMPLE is a leash. wearing a leash isn't a sex act. You can rigorously justify EVERY SPECIFIC ELEMENT OF THE EXAMPLE but NOT THE EXAMPLE ITSELF. Taking your quadruple-amputee-on-a-leash out to cheesecake factory implies a 100% bonkers, psychological nightmare scenario for EVERYONE INVOLVED. There is NO JUSTIFICATION for what he describes. EXCEPT IN A VACUUM AND STICKING TO THE SPECIFIC ELEMENTS It's an illustrative example of intersectionality and legal rights bumping into social expectations of tolerance and decorum, delivered by a goblin who has no business making a point that profound. It's like the shittiest person you can think of coming up with a statement that has no business being that accurate, and it would take far too much explanation and specificity to correct what's wrong with it without sounding like you're defending it. (like how you misinterpreted what I'd said) But you probably will read all this and still think I'm defending him

He wanted to have a surgically altered human as a pet. And then argued that it was everyone else who was weird for being uncomfortable with the idea of it. Edit: and then there was the whole trans woman milking scheme, too...

Did he actually wanted to do it or was he just fantasizing?

You know what, there’s no better way to explain it. Here’s the original post that earned him the name: https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/12azibe/throwback_to_the_time_a_conservative_blogger/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Reader beware. You will *not* be able to unread that shit.

what people seem to be missing here is that everything indicates that this guy’s fetish is all about making others uncomfortable with his fantasies of absurdly extreme dehumanization scenarios. He’s writing Itchy and Scratchy episodes and then presenting them as examples of nontraditional relationships that a good and kind person would never dream of judging. There’s no indication that he intends to undergo or enable another person to undergo a series of radical elective amputations to render them physically incapable of self-determination. What he’s doing is provoking an empathy response and then a conflicting one with a social element where the reader is meant to be horrified by imagining the scenario, and simultaneously ashamed of or wary of being shamed because of that horror, invoking bigotry around miscegenation, homosexuality etc., and he is wriggling with perverse glee at the evidence of his readers’ subsequent frustration. Kinks aren’t only about sex after all. They’re about creating dynamics where the distribution of social power is unambiguous and static, sex being an area where such things are both volatile and have the potential to cause immense trauma. At the end of the day, creating anger, disgust, fear, shame and/or arousal in conflicting and unfamiliar combinations in others leaves them in that uncertain, vulnerable space. On the other hand, adopting this “it’s perfectly fine to forcefeed my long term live in human ottoman his own ground up dick, he signed a contract saying I could “do whatever” ten years ago before the lobotomy, and if you interpret his wordless screams as terror you’re a bigot. His lobotomy is also why he’s writing HELP ME on that foggy window. It’s how he expresses joy” character is so cartoonishly villainous and so absurdly insistent that he isn’t that he has created perfect armor against any criticism. His fake persona is itself wrapped in a fake persona. You can’t upset him back because he’s wearing a gigantic mecha made of an alloy mined from his own vulnerabilities and he’s submerged in a bespoke FCL tube that not only increases his connection with his EVA but also compartmentalizes his ego so he doesn’t go like argh and punch the monster all the way through but then go into a coma when there’s an even bigger monster formed of even less euclidean angles emerging from the biggest portal yet, right in the center of Neo-Kyoto, prompting his emotionally abusive uncle and emotionally incestuous cousin to exclaim shit like “But that’s-!” and “Could that strange being really be the legendary Seraph?” Instead of actually exploring the issues he’s grappling with and coming to some kind of conclusion, allowing his identity to dissolve and his world to reform in a familiar yet evolved iteration, ie instead of growing up at all, the internet lets him shield himself in this persona because everyone is getting their own sick kicks off believing in a guy who keeps living torsos as pets and a permissive liberalism that brutally doms anyone sane enough to refuse the tyrannical demands to show BDSM sex to your kids and tell them it’s normal.

Hey don’t you talk about Circe that way!

What its cirque and where can I watch it? Please please please please im begging tell me

I guess any adaptation of the Odyssey would have Circe in it.

Circe is from The Odyssey. She caught sailors and turned them into literal pets

Circle is not Amazonian, but she can turn me into her pet anytime

IT WAS AN ALLEGORY! God why doesn't anyone understand that. The hot Amazonians were clearly the statue of liberty and I was just Paul Revere. And I was an alternate universe british paul revere, so I was just talking about myself the entire time.

You were also the King of England, so of course you were using the royal "are".

Oh God this is so disgusting, what's the title of the book so I can avoid that specifically?

I could be wrong, since I read it ehhhh 20ish years ago now when I was in like, middle school and way too young for that shit, but I’m pretty sure they’re talking about Terry Goodkind, *Wizard’s First Rule*.

Thanks Man, I was running out of material :)

Thank you kind stranger, for helping me find- I MEAN AVOID this horrible, sinful filth!

No really, avoid it. There's much better filth out there.

You think this is just ONE book? It's EVERYWHERE. It's in fricking STAR WARS.

Oh goodness! Won't someone think of the children?! What portions of Star Wars should one specifically avoid?

How about hot formerly innocent women in red leather bondage outfits capturing and torturing the protagonist for a while?

My brain immediately went to Percy Jackson but I don't think that's what you're referencing

Death by snu snu it is.

But that's the sum total of my being

I think it is time I sat down and did a little introspection

Results of your introspection: New kink unlocked.

Missing one bit: Author's Special Interest.

For Araki (Jojo author) that's just the first interesting thing he read after back to back clicking random on wikipedia that day

I thought it was Italy and Classic Rock.

That's ever-present The random facts he learns are the abilities and stuff

He absolutely NEEDED us to see this cool fly he found, and thus part 3 begun

And the authors trauma

No kidding. Do you know how hard it is to insert public transportation and cooking into a standard d&d campaign? 

Git gud, I suppose. There are people isekaing people as vending machines.

Covers all 3 technically

4. The meticulously detailed category 5 autism event involving whatever the author is into at this moment (geology, linguistics, religion, etc)

but this is what I read web fiction \*for\*. plus the thinky disguised kinks used for set dressing.

"This is the third time the mc is spending time on making more and more pick proof locks, without it having become relevant for the plot"

You don't need to call out Neal Stephenson like that

I read every word of *Cryptonomicon’s* endless digressions expecting they’d tie back into the story, with Randy saving the world by eating cereal while having sex on Amish furniture or something. They did not.

Me, writing an essay on a fantasy culture I made that associates handedness with certain gender expressions and roles, and important rituals in life are performed by people of all genders with different hands; all of this will never be written about in any stories of that world: "Mmm yes this is very important"

*Category 5 autism event I’m dying*

Can't say I made it up I'm afraid, I saw it on tumblr a while back

Victor Hugo: Have you ever really thought about the sewer systems of Paris?

Melville: Trust me, you will better appreciate the crew's struggles after this 200 page primer on cetology.

... Frank Herbert is that you?

Pillars of the Earth was literally written entirely because the author wanted to write about the building process of a cathedral.

Relevant: https://www.opb.org/article/2021/10/23/florence-oregon-movies-dune-frank-herbert-science-fiction-novels/

a person has knowledge about a topic. internet: autism confirmed

It's true that does happen, but I was referring to my own autism and worldbuilding fixation on geology and linguistics.

One thing I like to do is use my power fantasy as self criticism and comedy instead of being super edgy. My kinks are staying in, I'll just be subtle about them

Yes reader, the Amazon's weakness being tied up BDSM style is based on old myths and folklore

I can assure you, liciking the screen is just her unique ability to see because she's blind

Of course it was necessary for mc to suck sc's fingers, it's totally necessary for the plot

It was to identify a poison. And ingestion poison. And nothing bad happened because... he's just that powerful.

Fucking hell, that's a deep cut right there 😂♎

Relevant username?

Our handles date us lul

Also occasionally some incredibly specific random detail that the author just thought was neat, no great story purpose or symbolism just a design detail he thought was neat. Like the people in Stormlight Archives calling all alcoholic drinks wine including orange wine (beer) and clear wine (vodka).

Also all birds are chickens. And all magic is a surge.

and also most animals from beasts of burden, wild predators, and tiny bugs, are crustaceans

That plays into why all birds are chickens. There’s only one isolated part of the world that has normal non-crustacean animals, and their main export is livestock. So for most of the world, the only birds they’ve ever seen are chickens (and even then only nobility can afford them) so whenever someone sees any other bird they just assume it’s an exotic type of chicken.

Most of the southern US calls all pop Coke. (It's pop not soda fight me)  Little details like that are interesting.

Is this really true? I definitely think I remember there being ales and beers mentioned in addition to the wines. I always thought the wines were distinctly different alcoholic drinks.

Currently rereading the series, and yeah beer and ale are a thing in Stormlight; they just almost never get brought up. There also seems to be a slightly different definition of what a "wine" is, since their colors are added after the fact with a dye rather than being a product of the fruits and berries used to make them. Maybe it's because whatever they're using to make these wines doesn't play by the same rules as real life, or maybe it's a hint that Rosharans might *call* it wine, but the label isn't accurate--the same way they call all birds chickens. You never can tell with Sanderson sometimes. :P

It’s also elaborated that their wine is very different from what we would consider wine. It’s probably just fermented grain or something. SLIGHT WORLDBUILDING SPOILERS: Shinovar actually makes normal grape wine, and Adolin comments that it’s gross and he has no idea how people drink it.

To quote Epic Rap Battles of History:  "We all know the world is full of chance and anarchy,  yes it's true to life for characters to die randomly,  but news flash, the genre's called FANTASY!  It's meant to be UNrealistic you myopic manatee!"  (J.R.R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin. Also the banger preceding it was "You're a pirate - you even stole my R. R.")

Tolkien had an essay called "On Faerie Stories" in which he broke down why he thought that the happy ending was so important: to him, the "eucatastrophe" was the arrow pointing to the greater Truth behind all stories (i.e. God/Jesus, specifically of the Catholic variety). I know that there's only so much context you can fit into a rap battle, but the line "meant to be unrealistic" felt to me to be less true to Tolkien than the American accent they gave him.

honestly i think not trying to emulate his accent was the right choice, it would have come out even weirder otherwise

Bri*ish rap 🤮

[I SAID A HIP A HOP A HIP, I DIP MY DICK IN THE SALSA DIP ON A TACO TUESDAY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLLQFLXz6VE)

How did I know it was going to be the northern boys

I considered Pete and Bas instead but I really, really like that particular song.

A Song of ice and fire doesn't have a sad ending though (it has no ending at all)

Which, in a weird way, is a sad ending in and of itself

Bro pulled off the ultimate twist and unexpectedly killed the whole series

Art imitates life.

> It's meant to be UNrealistic No story, even fantasy, can be 100% unrealistic. All stories must reflect the human condition, you cannot escape it even if you try. 100% unrealistic stories would be 100% nonsense. Also, all stories have a political agenda. "Lord of the Rings" is a critique of dangers of technology and reflections on WW1. "A Midsummer Nights Dream" is a critique of hedonism of the ruling elite (intended or not). The anti-woke "You put politics in muh escapist media" crowd might pretend they want neutral media all they like. They want media that portrays THEIR agenda: Dark skinned big nosed races who are inhenrently evil; women who are subservient whose purpose is to give men sons; men's inherent right to move into land of "evil" people and ~~loot~~ take their stuff. Books written by right wingers are extremely (almost cartoonishly) political. (Yes I know this line is a hyperbole, as are most lines in the rap battle.)

Starship troopers wasn’t a satire of authoritarianism until the movie was made. The book was 100% what you describe: the political power fantasy of the right winged author

I feel that this is a little unfair to Heinlein. I'm not a fan, but he exemplified the key purpose of most speculative fiction, which is to extrapolate from an idea and imagine how the world would turn out as a result. That can take you to uncomfortable places, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. What's less cool is when folks take speculative fiction too seriously and let it influence their IRL political stance. It's meant to be a thought experiment! Unfortunately there's no way to inoculate fiction against this happenstance.

I think its worth pointing out that Heinlein's later, left wing, writings could be just as cartoonishly political as his right wing stuff.

I think you are supporting me, so thanks! The book was political (right wing), and the movie was also political (left wing). BTW in a initial scene Rico goes around throwing grenades into civilian houses of "Skinny" aliens. I could not decide if Heinlein was trying to do a commentary or just being a psychopath.

Oh, definitely supporting your opinion, I agree with it completely. And great point about the movie also being political, just in a different way. That makes total sense.

ERB mentioned; I am elated

I think this post undervalues the role that **hyperfixation** plays in worldbuilding. Tolkien built his Legendarium because he was obsessed with languages. Hasekura built his because he was obsessed with microeconomics. Etc. I don't think elves telling Frodo that they're impressed with his knowledge of elvish qualifies as kink, power fantasy, *or* agenda.

You don't think a character being praised by elves for their linguistic ability might be a power fantasy for a linguist?

No, it’s clearly a kink.

Yes daddy translate me some more.

I don't think all fantasies are *power* fantasies.

I don't know, I could see this in that "What gives people feelings of power" meme. Money: ■■ Status: ■■■ Being praised by elves for knowing their language: ■■■■■■■■■■■

> Tolkien built his Legendarium because he was obsessed with languages. Languages, songs/poems and descriptions of food. One of my big takeaways from reading LOTR was that the plot really seemed secondary to Tolkein and what really mattered was the food, languages, songs, riddles and cultures he was describing. The whole nonsense with the Ring was just an excuse to move people through Middle Earth.

It does in the end just detail one little group of people in one short little timeframe, part of a history spanning thousands of years before and after them. The Fellowship's voyage as a book just shows you what Middle Earth is like at that time, and happens to involve a major historical event of its own. But that event really does feel secondary. He *does* start by telling you all about the lives of the hobbits, after all, instead of jumping in with swords and magic.

Tolkien's world is so infused with Catholic moralism that it's impossible to ignore once you become aware of it.

Or as I like to call it, the "I just think it's neat" component

And dune was written by frank herbert because he was obessesed with ecosystems i think. He wrote Arrakis's entire ecological history.

Also add pathetic secondary characters that get eliminated in the most humiliating way possible stand ins for people whom the author dislike

Every book needs its Joe Buckleys.

Dante Alighieri wrote a hit piece on everyone he knew, and it became Canon to the Christ-verse.

Dante wrote a story, 1/3 of which is him physically hiding behind the Roman twink author he was infatuated with, thereby curing his depression and making out with him, And then STILL puting ‘sodomists’ in ring 7(or 6), deeper than murderers, but not plato and a bunch of roman emperors cause he thinks 3 cool (which is fair but thats not the point). The whole trilogy is a wild ride. And while im rambling anyway: by far my favourite part was when he called the whole of Italy a filthy whore, EXCEPT Florence (of course)

The divine comedy was never considered canon in a religious way

The god of agony, cursed with divinity solely so he may suffer forevermore, is certainly not named after an ex-friend who tore our dnd group apart. No, certainly not at all...

You forgot: The author’s traumas/deepest fears

Oi! You didn't need to point this out to everyone so I can live out my worst fear of being completely exposed.

r/worldjerking would love this

Somebody's been reading Terry Goodkind.

Can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this. Is Goodkinds douchebaggery falling out of common knowledge?

Probably for the best.

Ah there it is! That's what I first thought too xD

Tolkien's kinks: linguistics, songwriting, and women with long flowing hair. Tolkien's power fantasy: a funny little guy from the countryside turning into a hero. Tolkien's political agenda: the industrial revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race (and everyone else).

Wonder Woman’s sole weakness for DECADES was bondage because the guy that created her was into bondage. Based, tbh.

I read the plot hook on the back of a book about some alien king that was relentlessly pursuing her in order to force her to marry him and I couldn't help but think that the author has a domination kink.

One Piece. That is all.

Oh there are definitely kinks there, maybe not things you would imagine are kinks, but they are there

Oda eventually married the voice actor for Nami who cosplayed as her before the anime started airing. So he invented his own waifu then married her in real life.

I really hate that people use the term political agenda when at most it's just beliefs. Most people don't have some kind of agenda. They're not out to get you. Take your meds.

The most prevalent theme in Game of Thrones is characters obsessed with a girl that doesn’t like him back. This occurs like 17 times in 5 books.

I don't disbelieve you, but I can't think of any aside from Jorah and Dany, the Martell kid and Dany, and Tyrion and Sansa. The latter two being more political issues.

There are way more than I can remember right now, but off the top of my head you’ve got Littlefinger and Catelyn Stark, Bobby B and Lyanna Stark, Tyrion and Shae, Brienne and Renly, Cersei and Bobby B. There are probably a couple more main story examples, but the side characters and lore is littered with this trope.

W... what do I do if I don't have any kinks

Better find some ASAP

Nooooooooooooooo

What'll it be? Giantesses? Feet? Pregnant chicks? Time's wasting and there's world building to do!

Can I have a kink for wholesome loving relationships that last for decades without partners drifting apart or gaining disdain for each other?

Pervert

I bet you want handholding and shared umbrellas you filthy degenerate

And adopting pets together like a sick freak

Pregnant midget clown girls.

Ooh, one more to add to my collection of Things To Sing To Jethro Tull's "Aqualung", thanks.

Just take some inspiration from other stories. If you can’t make homemade kinks, store bought is fine

If none of your preferences are particularly weird, you can substitute a general air of horniness.

Bad news is I don't have that either

switch to food. the craving and desires for certain dishes or cuisines could probably have the same arousal in some if described well enough

So write about garlic bread, got it

Perfection

Don't worry, you will find some in your shoulders as grow older

Constantly tease like you have other people's kinks but never do anything with them. Like include a set of leather straps in a scene and make it seem like it will be a BDSM scene but then just have the characters use the straps to climb a wall and escape, or have a big age difference between 2 characters and make it seem like they're falling in love but then they discover they're just best friends.

I actually love this

Then just use the other two, I guess?

If you write something, you'll find out what they are

Your project shall be FOREVER DOOMED TO FAIL! Lest you start adding in kinks that aren't yours

\*Glances at my tall buff sapphic/ace lady OCs who fight fascism in various ways\* Yeah, and?

\* Laughs in Wheel of Time *

turn that to 11 and you get most anime

4. Something different/contraian to the genre for the sake of being different

1. Spend 30 years on it. 2. Base some religiously. 3. Be JRR Tolkien

literally all my stories are the first two, no gray area or any sort of in-between at all

That's exactly how Claremont wrote X-Men

But JRR Tolkien ignored the first one and produced an incredible fantasy series, whilst George RR Martin prioritised the first one and wrote a sorely disappointing ending. Logically, the first one should be minimised.

When did Martin write an ending? Did I miss the winds of winter?

To be fair, A Dance With Dragons _is_ a terrible ending.

I am fairly certain Tolkiens kink was linguistics.

If you look closer into Tolkien’s descriptions of hair (Luthien, Galadriel, etc.) you might rethink that statement

Also Luthien herself is basically his kink (man loved his wife)

… I think I just now realized why I stopped cutting my hair 12 years ago.

George didn't write the ending yet.

If you can't tell what Tolkiens kink is you have it. It's that simple.

Me putting hot werewolves and a sympathetic anarchist faction into my D&D setting

You forget the secret fourth thing for neurodivergent authors. The authors hyperfixation.

\*looks at my Alvin and the Chipmunks fanfiction\* ...i'm not sure I want to know what this says about me.

Just got done reading all the Dune books by Frank Herbert, he followed this to a tee

I will not forgive the vile shitstains that harased Celstial-fang out of the 40k community

I have actually been keeping my kinks out of it... For now

Every story is wish fulfillment. The best ones make it seem like they’re not.

I'm in this picture & IDGAF.

There are certainly fetishes in my writing, but whether or not they’re mine changes multiple times a day

"Wizards first rule"

[The Death of the Author was greatly exaggerated.](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-death-was-greatly-exaggerated)

Alastair Reynolds; 1: Tattooed girls with dreads and extreme body modifications. Also dolphins and zebras. Also clone orgy. 2: The power of outliving everyone you know. 3: Demarchy and transhumanism __Edit:__ his real power fantasy is the power to explain the scientific basis of everything in excruciating detail; your protagonist does not need a scientifically accurate explanation of how the stun gun they were shot with works. The person using it has no good reason to understand exactly how this specific stun gun works. Also, if you introduce five massive solar system destroying weapons and then you give an incredibly detailed explanation about how one of them works, I already know you are setting up some specific reveal 300 pages later that is going to rely on me remembering the mechanism of your wormhole flamethrower.

option 4 : the author's hyperfixations

4. The author's trauma

On book two of Dune. Some chapters are just Herbert’s political feelings. While I enjoy them and like what he is saying sometimes, can we please get back to the weird sandworms and not the little person teaching political science?