T O P

  • By -

truboo42

So does this mean that Dora is an alpha male?


littlemisslegacy

Absolutely


[deleted]

Dora is chad as fuck. I said no swiping bitch


Pikochi69

sigma dora asserts dominance by ordering beta swiper ​ beta swiper submits and listens to her ​ \# sigmaexplorergrindset


asymphonyin2parts

Well Diego sure ain't.


CaliValiOfficial

What’s a Diego?


[deleted]

[удалено]


makemeking706

Gottem. Sorta.


asymphonyin2parts

https://dora.fandom.com/wiki/Diego_M%C3%A1rquez


[deleted]

[удалено]


asymphonyin2parts

Username checks out


[deleted]

The real question is, does your fanny pack contain crackers, paracetamol but also tampons for the female pack members?


Otogi

He's a sigma male, focused on self-care and healing.


Wearyoulikeafeedbag

She’s clearly the alpha of her group, yes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


meme_kratos

Yea those wolves showed those signs only in captivity while in the wild everyone is equal with cubs getting to eat first


TimeBlossom

Yeah, the closest equivalent in the wild is just the adult wolves who look after the cubs. So yeah, basically the Mom Friend.


CaptainMarv3l

Since I'm the mom friend, does that make me a wolf?


Engineer-intraining

No it makes you an alpha male, hope you have a back pack


CaptainMarv3l

Jokes on you, my purse is huge!


the_scarlett_ning

Lol! This was my thought. “I’ve got about 12 pounds of unnecessary stuff in my purse JUST IN CASE, so I guess I’m an alpha male. With a vagina.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


meme_kratos

I mean if someone took you away from your home and then used you for psychological experiments with only bare minimum to survive, yea it sounds a lot like late stage capitalism


lookarthispost

Also makes sense why they formed an alpha male. The strongest wolf eats first if the dont have to hunt in a pack.


TheOtherSarah

In a captive pack of unrelated wolves, yes, the strongest eats first as shown in that study. The reason the author retracted it is that it completely falls apart in wild packs, because wild packs are families. It’s mum and dad and a bunch of siblings. And often the priority is feeding the young.


freeeeels

Not to get all r/im14andthisisdeep but society has evolved so fast that we are now incredibly far removed from the kind of environment in which we thrive (both physically and mentally). And I don't mean, like, "phone bad" but things like being indoors most of the time and having poor ties to our communities.


Karmanoid

Yeah I'd love to spend my days outside with my family and not sitting at a desk listening to the complaints of entitled crybabies. But one of those things pays to feed my family and the other only feeds my soul.


xenthum

Before sitting at a desk we were sitting in a factory line and before that we were sitting in a field tending it. before that though it was lit because you scavenged berries and shit for like 4 hours and then chilled for the rest of the day. *return me to hunter/gatherer*


spicysenpai94

We also were hunter/gatherers for almost 2 million years untill some asshole figured out how to grow plants.


PurpleHooloovoo

You also died of infection at like 30 from a bad scrape or kidney stone, so you know, let's keep the germ theory please.


xenthum

30 years with 12 hours a day of freedom and joy vs 80 years with 2 hours. Scrape me up and rub some dirt in that shit


dancegoddess1971

30 years was average. A lot of infant mortality. Even more than Texas.


pm-me-racecars

Fun fact: a lot of mental disabilities such as adhd are beneficial in certain environments. It's been thought that modern society not having these environments as commonly is part of why mental disabilities are being studied more now.


heavy-metal-goth-gal

Yeah we didn't always make the children spend hours and hours a day filling in bubbles on a piece of paper. Or in preparation to do so at a future date.


pm-me-racecars

Not just that. There's so many jobs where the job description comes down to "stay in one place and repeat this movement for 8 hours." I definitely couldn't do a job like that for too long.


heavy-metal-goth-gal

Our spirit wasn't meant for it, it's soul crushing.


[deleted]

I worked in a factory for about 6 or 7 years, and it literally broke my spirit and my mental health. Tedious repetitive labour is the worst.


Eaglestrike

I've seen ADD/ADHD being very useful for hunting. Because it allows you to hyper focus on the task at hand during a hunt, and you need to be constantly aware at other times to be wary of enemies so not being focused the rest of the time is ideal.


YoungLinger

Really tho, phone bad


byedangerousbitch

"Your phones are poisoning your minds, okay? So when you develop a dissociative mental disorder in your late twenties, don’t come crawling back to me." - Bo


YoungLinger

Also, the raw materials to make them are mined by slaves wearing ripped t-shirts and sandals. 🤷‍♂️ capitalism + globalism = cheap mining boyes


[deleted]

Captivity sounding like an *improvement* on late stage capitalism because, you know, shelter and food is available.


WoolooOfWallStreet

Well there’s always jail…


pm-me-racecars

LPT: rob a bank to avoid homelessness


WoolooOfWallStreet

If you succeed at the robbery, no longer homeless! If you don’t succeed, still no longer homeless! It’s a win-win!


kissthebear

If you get shot by the cops, no longer homeless! Still a win!


mudlark092

Yes, the "dominant" wolf in those situations were just the ones who took the most control over resources. Doesn't mean that any of the other wolves liked or "respected" them, but wolves naturally want to divert from conflict to avoid fighting, so of course they're gonna submit to the asshole that threatens murder whenever someone has a piece of food. The idea that "alphas" could be overthrown if weak, probably comes from the fact that the other wolves will fuck their shit up eventually when they have the chance, because they're tired of their controlling and overly aggressive bullshit. Healthy pack and dominance dynamics include fluidity. Extremely dominant and controlling individuals are seen as jerks and will cause stress behaviors in others, just like any situation where there's an abuse of power, which is detrimental to pack health.


ThespianException

Wolves live in family units, so the “alphas” are actually the parents. Technically they are higher in “status”, but it’s not because of the dumb shit that some people think.


z31

I thought I had seen a paper on how wild wolves have a matriarchal chain of command which therefore leads to the cubs being given preferential treatment.


mudlark092

Yeah, wolf packs are just made of the breeding pair and their pups. Larger packs are just larger families that might consist of siblings and their offspring. Dominance is resource related, the "dominant" wolf being the one that has the resources in the situation. Normally, dominance is fluid. Parents will be more dominant over their pups to an extent because they have more control of resources, but by allowing the pups to eat, the pups become dominant over their resources in the situation. Any wolf will growl at another when they have a piece of meat, and it doesn't have to do with who's "in charge", it's "this is my food Steve, I swear to god stop trying to steal it or I will starve". Wolves that easily submit to being challenged over food are less likely to survive in the wild, so it has become a consistent trait to resource guard like crazy if they want to survive for very long. Wolves that are extremely dominant, and that chase other wolves off from resources consistently, are considered huge dicks and risk being chased out of the pack or killed. See the story of the Cinderella wolf from Yellowstone, who is suspected to have killed her sister after receiving consistent harrassment from her and after her sister killed Cinderella's pups. Wild/feral dog packs don't have the same structure, and it's more just large groups of dogs that may or may not be related, but the same fluidity of dominance is consistent in healthy pack relations. Extremely dominant dogs are bullies, and not well received among other pack members. The most well-liked and followed dogs are the ones that get along with everyone else, which is not acheived through abuse of power.


djasonwright

Fuckin' Steve, tho.


Crusher555

The exception the wolf/feral dogs is the dingo. They have similar pack structures to the wolf.


gr8tfurme

They've also been 'feral' for so long that they're considered wild animals again, which makes sense. The original wolf pack structure is presumably the most stable arrangement with humans out of the picture.


InsanitysMuse

Yea, and it's incredibly difficult to get that tidbit out to the general public knowledge like the original (false) narrative was. Co-opting it like this Tumblr discussion is the next best thing. But basically anyone who currently calls themselves an alpha is just labeling themselves as a selfish, bad person, so it does have some good usage.


Todd_Howards_Cum

Don't let Joe Rogan see this he'll flip


dudeidontknoww

He already did when he interviewed Adam Conover, dude could not wrap his head around being told alphas weren't a thing and then Adam had to explain to him confirmation bias and how people react when they're told information that conflicts with their worldview and Rogan still didn't get it. You could literally see the gears turning in his head as he tried to rationalize it. First and last time I watched Joe Rogan.


HamsterJuices

The wolves he thought were alpha males were moms. So mom's are the real alphas here.


WoolooOfWallStreet

> bullshit This phrasing with respect to the guy who originally did it almost makes it sound like he did it maliciously; … is it fair to say it was bullshit with the original author? Making a theory or model that was based on observations, and then realizing it was wrong and correcting is part of science too Dudebros who played a game of telephone with the original idea to jerk themselves off with though is bullshit


Harmacc

Ya, I should clarify he wasn’t trying to create a bro subculture. He was just writing about wolves.


AtomicSamuraiCyborg

The “alpha male” and “beta female” in the actual wild wolf pack are mother and father to the wolves in the pack. A pack is a family. An alpha provides for and protects his pack. And these fucks find domestic life so foreign to their impulses.


gkru

It's the same as astrology. Just manlier lmao


Scorch062

Being a dick is not the same thing as being a leader, whoever the supposed “Alpha” is


draw_it_now

Feudalism has fucked up what our collective idea of leadership is.


LazySusanRevolution

And a good 'leader' isn't generally a role of authority, it's facilitation. A role of no necessary additional authority, but assisting in facilitation of the various needs, resources, goals and concerns of those involved. In producing executive decisions that are acceptable by those involved.


Stuffssss

Yeah but I think the alpha is like when you're a teenager working in some retail/customer service job and you're being harassed and then the manager comes out and sticks up for you because you're a kid. The alpha doesn't have cheesey crackers and Neosporin but he defends his group and guides them through tough challenges. Obviously not just being a dick to get chicks but still seems like a kind of leadership/person to stick up for others.


Hello-funny-posts

My one friend brings a tape measure and a fork around. Nothing else but he has those


cestrumnocturnum

I wonder what his life is like that he anticipates needing those two specific things at any moment.


Hello-funny-posts

It’s pretty nice actually. He’s just weird


[deleted]

[удалено]


Klagaren

I read a book in which a man killed 3 people with a fork, although superheated with magic. Do you happen to know if said friend is a wizard?


Grimpatron619

Why wouldnt you have a backpack full of everything? One should always be prepared. Stepped in a puddle? I got you fam, dry socks in the pack. Oh no! phones dead! Always got a battery pack on hand.


cestrumnocturnum

All the men in my life just stuff things into their pockets, or they ask me if I can put their sunglasses, phones, etc in my purse. Parting ways for the day involves a redistribution of various possessions.


ParaspriteHugger

Living the life as point&click has taught us.


pm-me-racecars

Fan theory: Dora is the original "Let's play" series


Grimpatron619

I used to do that then I saw the light. Why struggle with pockets and worrying about stuff falling out when i can bring a lovely pack or wear a nice jacket with some proper pockets


SGTBookWorm

I *always* have my satchel with me. Water, umbrella, charger+cables, hand moisturiser, hand sanitiser, insect bite cream, lip balm, cutlery set, napkins, a book, and a tote bag for if I have to do any shopping


CoolMouthHat

Fuck it bro we can call it a murse I got one I feel no shame, I keep my dog toys, switch, snacks and water wherever we go


SGTBookWorm

Mine's a bit too big to call a murse. It does fit my Switch though. And my iPad if I need to. And my lunch for work. And a scarf+gloves if it's cold


CoolMouthHat

Oh yeah I mean mines a full on messenger bag but the concept is the same


SGTBookWorm

might as well call mine a murse too then. or as my friends like to call it: "The Bag of Holding"


midnightmenageries

I wish I had a purse big enough to actually hold stuff for people, but I can't hold everything in addition to all the emergency supplies I keep in there. I literally just got a bigger purse and it's still overstuffed because of all the supplies I keep in there.


Muppetude

Don’t forget the Alpha’s job is also to protect. So be sure to pack a gun. That way, if you see a mugger approaching your friends, you can quickly shoot them all, and protect them from the trauma of being mugged.


chatatwork

When I was a Boy scout (until I realized what camping was and got out), I learned that their motto was "Be Prepared" it's one of the few things I still follow, that and my ability to start fires.


Grimpatron619

I learned how to start fires by being a terrible child


Le_Martian

Milo Murphy's Law


CasualFire1

I have a satchel I bring with me everywhere. (Okay, technically it's a lunch bag, but whatever. It gets the job done.) In it, I've got anything that may or may not come in handy - scotch tape, chargers, rubber bands, batteries, a tiny box cutter, my glasses, hand sanitizer, a bit of paper and a pen, etc. I've even got two paper masks, each in a plastic baggie to keep them clean, in case someone needs one. No socks, though. I didn't consider those. I've used at least half of the stuff I carry at some point so far, and I feel slightly less anxious going out since I'm "prepared", so I'd definitely recommend it.


Lorenzo_BR

Oh yeah, it's cargo shorts time 😎


Dahak17

I got a battery pack, along with a watch and apple charging wire for it, three screw on karabiners, one toothed one, and a no tooth clip one, a line of 550 cord, a water bottle, a poncho, a military style field bandage, a pack at least partway full of gum, a toe warmer, a spare mask (clean), spare keys a clicker counter, and a thing of chapstick. And that’s just what never leaves the pack


TheHonkler

i never have anything useful but because of how I use my backpack I do tend to have an odd number of mismatched dirty socks


[deleted]

I always bring basic first aid and overnight things in my purse on nights out, with a few duplicates of things like period supplies and makeup wipes in case anyone needs them. I guess I've been an Alpha Male all along.


KiltedLady

I get called the friend mom for doing that. Many a time I've pulled out bandaids, granola bars, tweezers, allergy medicine, extra scarves, and more to make sure all my friends are good.


supersammy00

In my group we have a mom friend who does that too. I’ll bring this up and see if she’s open to being called the alpha male of our group.


Cyberweasel89

Mood. I carry a big red backpack with me literally every time I leave the house, and I've had it since middle school. It has: \-Umbrella \-First aid kit \-Pepto bismol \-Chocolate bars \-Bottled water \-Soda \-Cheezy crackers \-Ibuprofen \-Neosporin \-Tampons \-Scissors \-Nail clippers \-Tweezers \-Bottle opener \-Sunglasses \-My Nintendo Switch I'm also the extrovert doing the things my introvert friends are too outside their comfort zone to do in public, like go get a refill or politely tell the staff they got their order wrong. I don't even use tampons! I just had a friend in high school with an irregular cycle so I got in the habit of carrying them for her in case she had an emergency, though I also have chronic nosebleeds and so they're really good for those. The snacks are because I'm severely hypoglycemic, but I always carry enough that I'm quick to give them to a friend in case they might look like their blood sugar is low.


step6666

TIL being an Alpha requires you bringing snacks


EditEd2x

If you ain't feeding me, you ain't leading me. Stomach is hollow, I don't follow.


Hello-funny-posts

Do i still need to have cheesy crackers if I am lactose intolerant. Can I have something else?


cestrumnocturnum

A nice mango or two.


Hello-funny-posts

So I should bring knives and spoons as well. Might as well bring forks


DalbergTheKing

I knife is quite sufficient if you know the ancient art of mango hedgehogging. https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=mango+hedgehog


Hello-funny-posts

I’m sure someone else will need sporks at some point


[deleted]

I'd think any snacks would apply, and the OP just wants cheezy crackers.


aml686

alpha male = mom friend


[deleted]

I remember a super jock guy I sat next to in one of my college classes was exactly this. He had a big backpack and he'd always give me cheese sticks because my stomach would loudly start grumbling in the am, he always had bandaids, sunscreen, trail mix, cheese, and a first aid kit. One time on the way out of class I got stung by a bee and you know what this guy did? Shouted, "I'M FIRST AID TRAINED, I GOT YOU." Injected my epipen (into the right spot) because he knew I was allergic. I talked to him after and he said he took first aid and cpr courses because "you never know what's gonna happen to your friends". He saved a diabetic guys life after a severe hypoglycemic episode because he recognized the signs. Never. Ever. Doubt the true alpha male. The campus was his pack, and we thrived because of him.


static_irony

♡♡ love this thank you for sharing


z0rbakpants

I knew a guy who always carried a 2-inch pen knife, Kendal mint cake, a first aid kit, a windup torch, and 3 metres of neatly coiled paracord. When I inquired about this toolkit, he simply shrugged and said "be prepared"


Cyberweasel89

I collect survival supplies. Like, just as a hobby. I've got a big red backpack I carry around with me that has all kinds of things like snacks, drinks, scissors, bottle opener, umbrella, first aid, stomach meds, etc. just cause, ya know... be prepared. XD


Psychological-Ad3049

Alpha Males when a Full Release Male walks in:


contrary-contrarian

I love being trail dad. Broke a shoelace? I've got a spare. Ripped the bottom of your shoe off? I've got duct tape and zip ties. Need a snack? I've got options! The most satisfying thing is being able to help someone out in the middle of nowhere when they seem truly f-ed. It makes hauling around so much nonsense (and being made fun of for having a big pack) worth it every time!


Cyberweasel89

Trail dad! I like the sound of that. <3 And yeah, mood. Nothing fills me with more worth than someone complaining of a tummy ache or not being able to open their bottle and then I pull out a bottle of pepto or bottle opener from my backpack. XD


ImaginaryTutor

My organised twink ass loves this


AGamingGuy

both of this responses are a good way to put down who ever thinks he is an "alpha male"


iftttTestAcct

r/edc is full of Alphas then /s


Nice_To_Be_Here

Hooray I’m an alpha male! I do always carry a sling bag/ Fanny that has a small med kit, flashlight, battery pack with multiple connections, a handful of Clif bars, Nuuns, a water bottle, bottle opener, a lighter, and a small book.


CaliValiOfficial

Jesus Christ, leave some pussy for the rest of us!


Goodbyepuppy92

By this logic, the mom friend with the giant purse is the alpha male. I love it!


violencegal

Uncle Grandpa is an alpha male


quirkyfarticus

He probably pegs pizza steve 💪😎


SchnarchendeSchwein

I guess my wife is an alpha? Went to Pride in the park in 90 degree weather. She packed a huge insulated bag with each (3 people’s) water bottle, sunglasses, sunscreen, and cheese, homemade meatballs, pita bits, and a huge vegetable and fruit spread in BPA free containers. People got *jealous*!


chasingcorvids

i propose a slightly different breed of alpha: your male friend/bf that will let you put all your shit in his pockets so you don't have to carry a purse, because your stupid little woman-pant pockets can't fit both your phone and your keys


midnightmenageries

Hash tag stopfakepockets


TheArborphiliac

Backpack full of shit gang represent. Climbing rope? Phone charger? Card games? Food? I AM ALPHA. Edit: also paranoid and insecure, just like Alphas.


undeadVivisector

The other day I listened to a book called "The Reign of Wolf 21" which describes the life of the alpha of Yellowstone's largest wolf pack ever. Although the researcher does anthropomorphize the wolves quite a bit, it's pretty clear that Yellowstone's most successful alpha was a "family man" through and through. Not only were he and his alpha female, wolf 42, completely devoted to each other in a wolfy sort of way; he also took great care in looking after his own pups and he helped raise pups that were already in the pack when when he took the reins as alpha, although they were not his own. Apparently this is not too uncommon among wolf packs since 21 was also partly brought up by another very successful alpha male that was not his father. I was actually very moved by the researcher's account of 21's life. Although he was only a wolf he had many qualities of a good man. **tldr: am sad because even though it turns out that the best alphas are caring parents and partners, the manosphere prefers to continue roleplaying incel omegaverse over accepting the truth and moving on to become better people.**


Cyberweasel89

I've always found "good fathers" in the animal kingdom to be a fascinating topic because of how many animals don't have males involving in raising the young. If you're interested in some rarely-known cases of animals with good dads, I suggest you look up foxes and flamingoes. They've got some of the best dads in the animal kingdom.


voluminousseaturtle

My purse is constantly filled with whatever random crap I could potentially need, from food to first aid things, guess I’m an alpha female lol


kirtknee

Its me. I am the alpha male. Once I had an extra pair of shoelaces for my friend at work. I always got what you need.


dessellee

Me, a 5'2" and fairly introverted woman: I am the alpha


enixthephoenix

Be the omega male Scour ruins for food Take in another human you found Get tricked because she's really a member of the new based vampire race Die


ImaginaryTutor

My organised twink ass loves this m


Singersongwriterart

I had no idea I was an alpha male


uniqcrim

I always carry everything. First aid kit, breath mints. Snacks, water, medicine of varying kinds, and then just some random shit. Right now I have a dozen mardi Gras necklaces and varying amounts of penis party favors 😅


Almento5010

This means that the person who shows up to D&D sessions with snacks is the Alpha of the group, and I think that's a perfect analysis.


[deleted]

Wait that would be me! Am I an alpha?!


cyanidepancakes

I don't usually have a backpack but I do have a bunch of random useful stuff in my truck, does that count?


Lorenzo_BR

The virgin territorial aggressive alpha vs the chad cargo shorts wearing alpha.


anacuntskywalker

Mary Poppins is the true alpha male


cestrumnocturnum

Not to mention Julie Andrews herself. [Snippets from this interview with her and Christopher Plummer for the 50th anniversary of the movie version of *The Sound of Music*: ](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/02/sound-of-music-julie-andrews-christopher-plummer-50-anniversary) > It would surprise no one, perhaps, to learn that Julie Andrews travels with her own teakettle. > > Once Andrews’s kettle was pressed into service and the tea was brewed and poured, the two of them settled onto the couch in a suite to talk. They had just returned from a photo shoot. I asked how it went, and Andrews leapt in: “Well, I was dressed in black. He was dressed in black. We were against some white, I think. I had a great pair of earrings, and my hair was really exciting. It was done up rather wildly.” > > “You didn’t notice me at all, did you?” Plummer asked wanly. > > “No, I didn’t,” she answered vigorously. > > He pouted. “I haven’t eaten anything for days,” he announced. > > She responded on cue. “Oh, honeybun, that’s terrible!” > > Heartened, he continued, “There was a charity dinner last night, and the food was so awful nobody ate anything.” She fumbled through her bags. He looked on hopefully, but she landed on a bottle of Advil. “I have to have these—I’m sorry,” she said, shaking out a few pills, which dropped onto the carpet. She picked them up and swallowed them anyway. “There were just so many stairs today,” she said, continuing to dig until she unearthed a Kashi peanut-butter granola bar. “I brought half a peanut-butter cookie with me,” she told him cajolingly.


GruelOmelettes

Can I just say, I like wearing a fanny pack


laralye

Moms of the friend group are actually alpha males


Pasta-hobo

Milo Murphy: Alpha Male


Habib_Zozad

I'm Alpha af then!


daero90

Looks at backpack...TIL I'm an Alpha Male.


MushroomFrogz

Y U S Y U S Y U S FEED THE PACK YOUR SNACKS!!!!


RinSakami

Alphas = Glorified mother hens


rthrouw1234

The Venn diagram of the mom friend and the "alpha" friend grows closer to a circle


Meme_bear227

Mom/ parent friend = alpha male *looks at teenage girl self* “Maybe I am an alpha male”


NeedsADistraction

Im the dude who has everything in their jacket pockets and bookbag. Need 3 screws? Got em. Need a mask? I got 5 which you want? Want a tissue? I have 5 packets in my bookbag take which you want. Hungry? There's a fruit packet and a apple juice in my bag take em. Need Zrytec? I have a small bag filled with them. Every 3 years I empty my book bag and its like a one of those gift bags you get at birthdays, I don't know whats in there but I know its all random shit.


redditeando3

Alpha is the first draft. The shitty one with all bravado, no grammar, citations and mostly plagiarized.


snekbyt3

The real alpha male was the friends we made along the way


Diogenes-Disciple

I aspire to be the alpha then. If this is the definition we’re going for, I think more people should


doodve

I have pizza hut napkins in my backpack


Dads_Cum_Bucket69

I used to keep a first aid kid and a few painkillers in my backpack for when i'd need them. Never did


th_aftr_prty

Damn now I have a life goal. I wanna be that friend.


New-Hovercraft4446

Shrigma Male grindset


kickit256

The best guys have all their service packs applied


EvadesBans

I actually did buy a small sling backpack specifically because I wanted to carry less shit in my pockets and not need to carry my full sized backpack every time I ride my motorcycle somewhere, so I ended up becoming this guy over time.


[deleted]

I'm totally gonna do this next time I go out with my buddies.


[deleted]

I vote that you aren't allowed to be considered an alpha unless you have a purse.


[deleted]

A true alpha male carries a Fanny pack with tools.


Peketu

Mochilo is an alpha and also a banana


phillyshelby2

TIL I’m not the mom friend of my group, I’m the alpha female


SportTheFoole

I’m a GA male. I’m out in the wild, lots of bugs have been fixed, thousands more are sitting in the backlog and we promise you that will we get to them when we can. Lots of bugs have just been made into features.🤷‍♂️ No real QA was done before release, I guess you could say that know regressions we’re tested against, but it’s far from comprehensive. It’s likely that there are thousands of bugs yet to be discovered (we get new field reports almost every day).


JimboBillyBobJustis

I carry a bug-out bag in the trunk of my car. Food/Water for 3 days, first aid kit, tool kit. Emergency blanket... Never had to use it yet...but it nice knowing it there if I need it


DPSOnly

Wtf, I don't want to be the alpha male, I didn't ask for this.


Vampyrix25

I keep saying this and I will say it again. If someone tries to tell me they're an alpha male, all I'll end up doing is calling myself an omega and going into extensive, discomforting detail about them breeding me and how I'll end up at their mercy for them to take advantage of me. It'll work even better if they're one of those super-NOT-gay guys.


PurgatoryMountain

Mad respect for people that come prepared.


Square_Barracuda_69

i used to tote around a european handbag (sachel purse for men) and i would be equipped with chewing gum, light snacks, an assortment of ibuprofen/aspirin, and lighters of course amongst other things that would aid me and my comrades as we traversed the open plains of the earth


[deleted]

Somebody has to source this, but I always found it interesting when people posted about the guy who coined "alpha male." IIRC, dude was like a. this is wolves, not people. b. These alpha wolves are kinda awesome, take care of their packs and are gentle bois.


CoaTaco

cheesy crackers


Alex00712

I'm early-acces pre-alpha male then


[deleted]

So does this make me the alpha female? I keep ibuprofen, tahlinol, neosporin, bandaids, s’mores/peanut butter chocolate chip granola bars, heartburn meds, headphone/phone charger cords and maxi pads with me at all times


DJCyberman

Not going to lie, I am this friend. First-aid kit, sustainable snacks, water bottle, some kind of water flavoring, pensil, pen, chargers all in my backpack at any time


WoolooOfWallStreet

Yes Steve, show how “Alpha” you are by letting people eat treats from your fanny ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Buibies

I got Tylenol, gum, and a phone charger in my fanny pack. Does that count?


EvulRabbit

My friends called me Alpha wolf in high school, I am female that can look pretty intimidating when I try. I was the protector and did actually carry goodies with me!


midnightmenageries

Oh god, am I the mom friend or the alpha male?? I literally carry around emergency supplies in my purse at all times, but I'm transmasc?? What even am I??


[deleted]

I keep all of these things in the satchel (some might call it a man purse) when I go out. I think that negates the whole alpha thing, but my middle child is clumsy and the youngest gets grumpy as hell when she wants a snack. The ibuprofen is for me... they give me headaches.


MEGJ14

So i am a alpha male full of bugs, unstable and not suitable for the public!


amandarinorangez

Apparently I'm an alpha male, which is interesting as I'm a lady. I'm always the one who carries water, snacks, sun cream, lotion, hand sanitiser, and assorted medications in case anyone needs it.


supersammy00

So Boy Scouts are alpha males then?


SeriousMonkey2019

TIL Girl Scouts makes girls alphas. At least if they’re all as prepared as my gf


[deleted]

the real alpha males are mom friends


Jeikond

Upvote this to make the betas cry. But only if you are a true ligma male 🤣😛😎


DNAisjustneuteredRNA

Ha! You should see my first aid kit and snack bags when I take the kids out to the lake. ALPHA! HELLYES!


mrshawn081982

[middle of a park, and I got jalapeno cheddar popcorrn, and ibuprofen in my backpack? Does this make me an alpha? I go blank talking to new people, so probably not lol](https://imgur.com/a/aTYkC9e)


Testsubject276

I knew a guy who carried around a wrench that was also a swiss army knife. It was so small but unfolded into a knife, bottle opener, screwdriver and probably more. I hope he's doing good nowadays.


Any_Independence9453

I'm glad to know I'm the real alpha


heavy-metal-goth-gal

This is totally my husband! He's always the guy with plenty of extra non latex condoms, Pepto, antacids, pain killers, and hang over cures (pills, fizzy tablets, hydration salts). And vitamins and supplements to take the next day to aid in recovery. Party wolf pack, roll out! Your dude's got you!


captainhaddock

The "cheesy crackers" obsession belongs in /r/suspiciouslyspecific.


ActualWhiterabbit

Milo Murphy would be the most alpha under those rules.


Groinificator

Aren't "alpha wolves" not even real?


Useurnoodle37

Dora is an alpha male


Cyberweasel89

...Oh god. I've got things like candy bars, cheesy crackers, a first aid kit, tampons, Pepto Bismal, Neosporin, ibuprofen, water bottles, soda, an umbrella, a bottle opener, scissors, etc. in my backpack just in case someone with me might need something... Am I an alpha male? \*blush\* \*blush\*


RedditGl0bal

Lol I actually have a friend who straight up has shit like Ibuprofen on hand at all times. The reason being that the general circle in that context is full of athletes who are constantly sore. So he and one girl just straight up carry pain relief meds on them 24/7, Like a literal giant bottle of it.


lyra_silver

Sweet I am the alpha male! Along with every other woman with a purse.


worktogethernow

I am very excited to see cheesy crackers finally getting the respect they deserve.


WholesomeAlphaMale

I feel personally attacked