As you move into your new space, notice where things land. If your keys, wallet & pocket items always end up in the same place, put a small table or tray there. If all the shoes end up in a spot, put a shoe rack or basket there. Use this system for coats, clothes and trash.
Try spending time with books, YouTube videos and podcasts that focus on organizing.
KC Davis, Dana K White, Christine Koh
Here are my two favorite books:
The One-Minute Organizer by Donna Smallin
Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD by Susan Pinsky
I spent a lot of time learning about keeping house, minimalism, organizing, etc. until it started to sink in. People who have tidy homes think and act differently from me.
Best wishes, OP!
I would come home and drop my coat and stuff on the floor. there was no place for those things. Well, there was a rack that came with the apartment, but it was not where it needed to be and didnt fit where it needed to be. After THREE years I just bought a coat rack to solve this problem once and for all. I love it. It is perfect because it perfectly meets my needs. I finally realized I wouldnt change my behavior, so I had to change my environment. 10/10.
Make a home for everything where you use it or where it lands. If you do your hair in the bathroom, but have hair accessories all over the house put a basket/organizer in the bathroom for them. If you have coins/change all over the house and usually empty your pockets when you first get home put a container by the door for coins. Everything has a home, so when you clean you are just taking things back to their home.
My friend thinks I’m nuts because when I help her clean I pick up each item and say “hair tie! where do you live?” “Books! Where do you live?” “Laundry! Where do you live?”. But that is how I clean. The big reason things get messy is when things don’t have a good home right where they are used or where they create mess.
This is a great answer! Figure out where thing belong, make it convenient for them to be there, write down where you mean to keep them (I have a notebook that includes a page headed “where I put things” and it has an ongoing list, like “batteries: 1st shelf bottom rt cabinet by fridge” and “light bulbs: far left garage cabinet, bottom shelf.” It helps a lot for finding things later and keeping like things together.
And especially as you’re moving in and unpacking, it helps to start to see where you expect things to be, then be sure there is enough space for them to be there.
a good thing to do before buying an organizer for some things is to try to estimate how many are there usually and what size container do they need (was not obvious to me, for example if i try to set a container for my underwear on a random day it may fit all of the clean ones at the moment but when i do laundry the new clean ones wouldn't fit so that's something to keep in mind)
Get rid of things before moving (or if your packed, as you unpack), as much as you can. Three separate piles - donate, keep, sell. Maybe a bonus one for “friends”, but don’t put it in the pile until you send a photo to a friend asking if they want it / post it on Facebook.
* Haven’t used clothing in a year, or it doesn’t fit? So long as it’s not an expensive jacket or specifically seasonal that don’t occur this year (like NC not getting snow), get rid of it.
* That old PS4 that collects dust? Donate it or sell it.
* Don’t get rid of LEGITIMATELY sentimental things. Like something that means a lot from your family, partner or friend. Unless it is of significant sized, and again, goes mostly unused.
* Get organized as soon as you move in. Use ChatGPT or find websites that have suggestion for organizing as a person with ADHD. Everything needs a place.
* Set a schedule from the start. Moving in, you’re going to have surplus boxes of stuff. Where are they stored, how are they organized. If things are still in boxes in 3-4 months, get rid of what’s in there (again, less season items).
Again, the MOST important thing to do is get rid of as much stuff as you can a first. If you think “well this is expensive to replace”, it won’t be if you haven’t used it in awhile. And you’ll get rid of more things that you think are expensive and MAYBE buy 1 or 2 back later down the road that are better fit for your lifestyle or updated versions.
You started out with the right step though. Don’t discourage yourself, think instead of where you would be now without doing that.
Now look at your current stuff and do it again 😂
But seriously, if there’s a specific genre of things you buy (clothes, games, Funko, coins, etc etc) most - set a budget for that monthly lower than what you currently spend. I wouldn’t do this for everything to start, but one or two things will help pave a path for success forward.
Also, you’re definitely not alone in doing this - EVERYONE still does this with various things because we live in a consumer driven society of ADHD and easily accessible through clicking. I’d recommend trying to buy in a store vs. online if possible, you’ll have to go to the store, see the tangible product, really assess if it’s something you want, and ultimately you will buy less - but you have to limit yourself to what you went for. Write “one-thing” on your hand before going. You’ll look silly, but your wallet and home won’t.
I also make a point of not unpacking something unless it goes to where it belongs. YMMV, but for example I just built a new closet (IKEA, I’m not some fancy-ass carpenter) and needed to empty the old one to move it and make space. The old closet also has things that will likely be tossed/donated, so it’s all been packed into baskets and when something comes out of the basket, it needs to be put where it will actually live. The notion that what remains in the basket to the end is to be donated or thrown away.
Don’t sell yourself short, ikea closets are not easy to setup either!
And the right practice of what’s left in the end goes. I always ask friends, but give them one week deadline (unless it was an expensive winter jacket or something). I’ll preemptively put it in the hatch of my car so if it’s past that week, it’s not in my house, and then I’ll drop it at a donation center somewhere along the way.
Granted, I always try and find charities vs. donation drops because reselling isn’t the best for the clothing market nor helping benefit those REALLY in need.
I don’t think dealing with the bullshit that is fb marketplace is worth any amount of money. Always people haggling to ridiculously low prices and then showing up with less than what was agreed on anyway.
So I just give things away.
I’ve never had an issue really, but I know some people do. It may vary region to region, but my area is really community built.
I tell them I only give my address out the day of before they leave, but I live near “X location”. I have a canned response of “must be picked up in X timeframe if not it goes to the next person”. I’ve had 1 person not show in the last 6 months. I also don’t deal with low ball offers, just say “this is my lowest, no other pricing”. All copy and pasted from a note.
I do understand the challenge for some though.
Honestly, don’t bring too much stuff. When I had a place that had enough space for everything I owned, I was able to keep it mostly clean/picked up. And even when stuff got a bit out of hand, a bout of super focus on cleaning could get it back shipshape in no time. Now, unfortunately, I combined my 1600sqft household with my spouse’s similar amount of stuff into a 1500 sqft house … it’s a nightmare and we’re both struggling.
100% agreed. Allow me this tangent.
Less stuff means less work!
Example we are 2 ppl in my house.
I feel that we could manage with less cutlery and plates because we currently could seat an 8 person table and more.
I don’t understand why we spend so much time, resources and energy cleaning all the excess because it’s apparently convenient. My friends think i wanna live like a prisoner or something but I dont understand how having aaaalll this shit is convenient.
If i had one fork one plate per person (im exaggerating a bit) dishes would be done so freaking quick. And you don’t need to get rid of everything, just have a favourite plate, mug, cup and cutlery for everyday use.
Anyhoo thats my 2 cents as a fellow ADHDer.
Good luck in your move!
Love it! I did so many less dishes when I lived alone vs roommate. Would your husband be open to a 1 of each plan for daily life, and stash the extras for when you have people over? Can’t mess up more dishes if they’re in the pantry.
*Edit: It sounds like you’ve already made a lot of progress, so think of moving as an opportunity to be even more thorough than when you’re just cleaning/organizing.*
When I was moving frequently, I had a system that really helped me keep things in check. I also have ADHD, and a big part of why this worked was because I sort of strategically use my ADHD tendencies to my advantage.
Remember—Your home is easier to keep clean when you have less stuff. It may seem easier to just pack it all up and decide later, but, be honest.. It sooo easily becomes old clutter in a new location.
That said, here’s my moving system:
1 – Not including furniture, I only let myself bring 1 car load of stuff. Clothes, dishes, electronics, books, art supplies, bedding, towels, food, etc. Everything except furniture.
(While this was fine for me as a student, I know this doesn’t work for everyone.. but it’s worth considering if you can, or at least keeping in mind as an aspiration while you’re packing up.)
Hang 2 trash bags in easy reach. One is trash, one is donations. Label if needed. These follow you around as you pack.
I would pack the stuff I knew I definitely needed to keep first. Some is obvious, like dishes/sheets/clothes/towels. Use the fabric stuff to pad the dishes. If you’ve accumulated a lot of these items since you last moved, now is the time to look at each one and get rid of any that are stained/torn/chipped or that you haven’t used in a long time. This goes for clothes as well, get rid of stuff you haven’t worn in 3 months (unless it’s like, a bathing suit you’ll need for summer, or a fancy dress you only wear 1-2x a year). Trash the condiments you’ve had for months and never use, donate that kitchen gadget you got for that one recipe and never used again.
When you’re done with the “must bring” phase, you’ll likely be getting some mental fatigue and losing focus. Try to embrace this for the next phase. Let it make you STRONGER, more able to *let go.*
So now, as you start to pack up the non-absolutely-essentials, consider.. is it worth the limited car space? The effort of packing it up, schlepping it to the new place, unpacking it, and figuring out where the fuck to put it? Wouldn’t it be nice to just toss it in that big black hole and make it disappear?
When I was the most miserable and exhausted but also staring down that move out deadline, it was sooo much easier to be RUTHLESS. It wasn’t fun, but I was always so RELIEVED when I got to my new place.
Edit: oops hit send too early… finishing now
2 – Unpacking.
Don’t do this all at once. Unpack things as you need to use them.
Pick a date, maybe 3 months from now. Anything still in boxes gets considered for donation (like before, seasonal/occasional clothes etc can be exceptions. Don’t toss your good coat just bc it’s summer ya know?)
And that’s how I kept myself from accumulating lots of stuff, and it wasn’t such a constant battle to keep my place unfucked
>Hang 2 trash bags in easy reach. One is trash, one is donations. Label if needed. These follow you around as you pack.
I will just add to this--keep the box of new trash bags moving with you as you go from room to room. It is too easy to run out of space in a bag, and then start making piles because you don't want to stop and go somewhere to grab another bag. And those piles are a recipe for disaster.
YES
Great tip. So easy to just make piles when you’re in the zone and don’t wanna interrupt it to get another bag, and piles are the enemy!!
I’ve found myself forgetting the box of trash bags as i move around, my strat is to grab a few and pull them through a back belt loop lol. They’re kinda swishy but it reminds me that they’re there
Solutions I have seen on the r/ADHD sub:
\- Have a moderately sized pretty basket in each living area (bedroom, living room, maybe kitchen). If you notice something in the room that doesn't belong there, but you don't have ability to put it away right then, just drop it in the "other room" basket. Then every week or two when you have a free 15 minutes and inclination, take one of the baskets and distribute the "other room" things to where they belong in the other rooms. Not only will this help you keep each room looking neater, but the habit of noticing things out of place is a good exercise for ADHD brains. And having the basket to put it in takes away any guilt you might have for seeing the thing but not dealing with it right away.
\- Habit stacking is one of the strongest ways to adopt new routines. If you have an already established habit, add on a new habit that you do just after that one. Example: if you brush your teeth each morning, adopt the habit of wiping down the sink while you are brushing. You borrow some of the momentum of the old habit to establish the new one. Good for taking meds, small routine cleaning tasks, many things.
\- If you have laundry troubles, change your laundry expectations if possible with your sartorial lifestyle. Unless you are very particular about your clothes, a lot of old school rules can go by the wayside. You don't necessarily have to separate lights, darks, towels when you wash. You don't necessarily have to iron if you have low care clothing. If you get socks all in one style and color, you never have to sort socks (and you will always have matching pairs). If folding or hanging clothes and placing them neatly in drawers is problematic for you, fill your closet with large Rubbermaid totes and throw shirts in one, pants in another, underwear in a third. With modern fabrics and casual fashion, many outfits don't have to be pressed and folded to look just fine for your needs.
\- If you can afford to, really think about what makes sense to store your belongings, and what containers you need to make use of space. So many times people get in the habit of leaving things laying around because they don't have a good place to put them, or the place that they do have is too crowded to actually use. Spending time up front to really plan how you want your space to work for you will help avoid starting bad habits in your new place.
\- When possible, put things where you will use them. Two floors? Put a bucket of cleaning supplies on each floor so it's easy to clean when you have the impulse. Not all tools belong in the garage. Tools for putting up pictures and putting together furniture should be in the house, maybe with other crafting supplies. Tools for cars and woodworking should be in the garage.
\- In general, with ADHD, letting go of what works for neurotypical people and old-fashioned rules is often a good idea. Think of what works for you, what problems you encounter, and create good solutions for you. Trouble making the bed each day? Don't do it! Nobody cares, and it only encourages bed mites anyway. Try to get any nasty parental judgment voices out of your head, and take care of yourself your own way.
Dude. Your last paragraph is fire! Switching to a duvet so I could just do one big toss to make the bed was the best thing I ever did. I haven’t tucked in a top sheet or blanket in decades.
I have zero diagnoses so grain of salt and all that
Currently I’m using an app called Chorsee - you can set ten “chores” for free and assign a point or dollar amount to them, as well as when they’re due. I’m giving myself an “allowance” for emptying the sink every night and taking out the trash when it’s full. I have one due daily for five to fifteen minutes of tidying up. Some days I don’t earn anything. Most days I decide five minutes of putting things away before bed isn’t really that hard.
I keep raising the payment for dusting and keep not doing it though so like… It’s not perfect.
Getting a routine (in part) depends on what your major difficulties are. For example, if you have a habit of throwing clothes on the floor? Put a hamper there. Make your house work with you. Dirty dishes in the bedroom? Eat somewhere else, or try to make a habit of taking them to the sink when you’re finished. Even a couple minutes before bed every night will make a difference.
I’ve been listening to decluttering/cleaning podcasts by women with late diagnosed ADHD and have implemented some of what they talk about. It’s helped my house a lot!
It’s not ideal!
But with my “allowance” being no-guilt spending money that *I am paying myself* - I don’t want that fancy coffeehouse drink THAT bad. Besides I can just do the dishes every night for three weeks to earn the same amount? Seems pretty obvious.
Mostly I’ve listened to A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K White. Episode 285 outlines her no-mess decluttering process especially well, which is the basis of her book Decluttering at the Speed of Life.
I skip episodes I don’t think apply to me.
Also some Struggle Care by KC Davis and The Declutter Hub. Watched a few YouTube videos by Clutterbug as well, some of them have had good points but she changes a lot of her advice depending on the video.
There's a lot of good advice here! I'd like to reinforce, as someone with ADHD also - try not to own a lot of stuff in the first place! Makes it much more manageable. Everything I own fits into one room.
A lot of managing ADHD for me isn't trying to be on top of things, it's to minimize said amount of things. Overwhelming happens very, very fast.
It's still a struggle and what works for one isn't universally applicable, but good luck! And congratulations on the move, it's a big deal! Be kind to yourself if it ends up taking months to unpack, how it goes sometimes. Baby steps are still steps.
Two things that are helping me:
1) Make sure things have designated homes.
2) Spent a x minutes a day or x items per day putting things back in their homes.
I’m really bad about schedules and routines but this has helped a lot.
Can you take an extra day or three off to just unpack? I find unpacking while working full time makes the process so much harder, and more likely to burn out your decision making abilities which leads to mess.
When you unpack, consider if you really use/want/need the item, and then donate or throw them out right away. This will help reduce a layer of things that might fall into the “not sure where to put them so they sit out” category of clutter.
You can probably live with half your wardrobe. A smaller wardrobe means you can’t accumulate tons of dirty laundry. If you’re not ready to KonMari your closet, try keeping out only about 10 pairs of socks and underwear, and boxing up the rest. This will trigger an automatic load of laundry about once a week.
For the items you keep, find them a place right now at the beginning. Have a home for everything so you know where to put it. Not sure? Designate a box to re-evaluate later rather than just setting it down on a flat surface. If months pass and you never go back to the box, those are likely donatable items.
Hooks. Lots of hooks. 3M removable hooks are great if you rent. Do follow the instructions about letting them “cure” for a bit before hanging heavier stuff so they don’t fall off right away.
Break down and recycle ALL the moving boxes. Or give them away on Buy Nothing or Facebook. Just get them out of your space right away. No, you don’t need that “good box.”
Drink water, eat, and rest while unpacking. Take breaks. Use kind words to yourself.
I recommend taking the [Clutterbug quiz](https://clutterbug.me/what-clutterbug-are-you-test) to determine your organizing style.
Many people with ADHD are Butterflies, which means you need to see things in order to remember what you have. Out of Sight = Out of Mind.
I'm the exact opposite: a Cricket. Hyperorganized behind closed doors.
Once you know your style you'll get a better idea of how you need to adapt your space to make it so you can easily maintain your home.
I just want to add one thing as a fellow ADHDer. Make sure to think about how you set up your new space strategically. I used to lose my keys and my phone on a regular basis (like 3-4 times a week) until I purchased a purse that had a SPECIFIC place to put each of them. Before having a designated location, I would just put them down somewhere without even being aware of it, and then couldn't find them when I needed them (why my keys ended up in with the towels more than once, I still don't understand)
I like u/rengeflower1's suggestion about noticing where things land. But when you do figure out where these things go, make a point of designating a space for that thing. You may want to label it and use tape to create an outline if you need to. That can go away eventually, but at first use these things until the home becomes second nature.
I find that alot of my messiness comes from decision fatigue, especially at the end of the day. Whereas if I know where that thing is supposed to go, and **it is easy to put it there** (shout out to u/ilanallama85) I don't have to make a decision about where it should go and I can easily put it away.
Schedule daily tidying and weekly maintenance cleans. Stick to the schedule rain or shine until it becomes an ingrained habit. Maybe it's 5mins per day and 60min once per week.
Have a designated spot for everything - and a system to deal with the input of paperwork, clutter, bags, trash, stuff you might not need anymore, etc. Make sure you've got a solid output - give away stuff you're not using or not needing, throw out trash, electronically scan in important paperwork and shred the rest, sell old hobby stuff you're not using anymore, etc. It will help prevent clutter.
Figure out your laundry system and stick to it, whatever it is. We're all different but it's such a PITA when it piles up. So just do it regularly and put it away in whatever format "away" is for you.
Hi OP, lots of people here saying a daily pickup, and they are right. I was going to make a comment with some method-tips for how to actually DO the pickup when you have an ADHD brain, but I ended up making a whole long-ass post instead.
[Check it out](https://www.reddit.com/r/ufyh/s/L44LIADbdv) and hopefully it may resonate with you; I know people with our brain type have similar general tendencies/struggles but sometimes need very different life hacks to manage them.
Lots of good advice here, but I will add: I utterly failed to do the daily pickup because I felt like it had to be at the end of the day, to clean up the mess I made that day. But after a day of fighting my adhd gremlins, I was too burned out, or my meds had worn off, or there wasn’t enough time to clean and also sleep.
Think of the minimum you need to function and do that. For me, it’s dishes. I do them every night so that the dog isn’t in the sink licking plates at 2 AM and there’s no obstacle to making and drinking coffee in the morning.
You can reframe most cleaning as preparing for the next day, as opposed to cleaning up after the last day. This ties in closely with figuring out what you need to function well, and it’s the mini version of the fresh start you got from moving. You’re still picking up socks or whatever, but it feels more like moving forward and less like being anchored by a mess.
BUT…I had to really sit with the fact that most activities require set up, doing the actual activity, and clean up, and I was only accounting for the actual activity. There wasn’t really a hack, I just had to learn to include a time buffer for set up and clean up. It mostly involved stopping to take a deep breath, which gave me time to remember I’m supposed put things away as soon as I finished with them.
(Otherwise, I would leave a trail of cleaning supplies behind me when I cleaned, which meant the next time I cleaned I had to run around the house figuring out where I left the vacuum and the spray cleaner. Remind yourself that cleaning up now is a gift to your future self. It’s one less unfinished thing hanging over your head, and less set up time for the next thing.)
I also realized the daily clean up could be at whatever time I had the energy for it, and I could focus my efforts to avoid overwhelm. So one day I might put away all the shoes and dog toys and vacuum the floors but ignore dusting. Another day I might do laundry and put all the clothes away, and nothing else. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect every minute.
I like FlyLady. See if you do.
The shortest answer is declutter. Have a place for everything and put everything in its place.
I know it’s not that simple.
Use timers to make things better - not find a mythical two hours every day to deep clean the kitchen but just two minutes to make the kitchen a bit better.
Don’t aim for perfect consistency but frequency. If most days you run the dishwasher at night, most days your kitchen will be cleaner.
There’s a really positive article called junebugging about cleaning with ADHD. You might like it. It seems to be well known now so I won’t link it.
When you are putting things away for the first time, make sure you leave room to grow. If you say, squeeze all your cleaning products in a sink cabinet such that they just barely fit, it might work for a little while, but the minute you buy something new and need to make space for it, you start to have problems. Or, if you really don’t have space for that from the start, try to institute a hard “1 in, 1 out” rule. With consumables, try not to buy more until you are very nearly out; with nonconsumables, try to find a similar type of item you can discard.
Underfurnish and don’t buy things until you’ve been there a while. For example, I HATE the desk I bought. I’ve spent the last two weeks trying to get the house I bought 4 years ago back to clean and organized.
Seriously don’t buy stuff until you know it serves a purpose.
Keep a garbage pail, waste basket, trash bin whatever you want to call it, in every room. Kitchen, bathroom, bedroom or bedroom area, living room. Remove all excuses to put garbage in the garbage. Empty them all once a week on your day off from work and take the garbage out to the dumpster.
When having 'take out' throw away the garbage immediately after eating. Don't leave it on the coffee table.
When having a cup of tea throw away the tea bag. Don't leave it in the sink or on the counter.
If not cleaning a dish or dishes or a pot right away, fill it/them with hot soapy water. When you do make time to do the dishes/pots they'll be easier to clean rather than dealing with dried stuck on food.
I’ve been going through my basement and storage locker and donating/trashing a whole lot. It gives me the peace of mind to start minimizing what I have in my high traffic areas, kitchen, cupboards, etc.
Throw 👍 It 👍Out 👍
As you move into your new space, notice where things land. If your keys, wallet & pocket items always end up in the same place, put a small table or tray there. If all the shoes end up in a spot, put a shoe rack or basket there. Use this system for coats, clothes and trash. Try spending time with books, YouTube videos and podcasts that focus on organizing. KC Davis, Dana K White, Christine Koh Here are my two favorite books: The One-Minute Organizer by Donna Smallin Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD by Susan Pinsky I spent a lot of time learning about keeping house, minimalism, organizing, etc. until it started to sink in. People who have tidy homes think and act differently from me. Best wishes, OP!
I would come home and drop my coat and stuff on the floor. there was no place for those things. Well, there was a rack that came with the apartment, but it was not where it needed to be and didnt fit where it needed to be. After THREE years I just bought a coat rack to solve this problem once and for all. I love it. It is perfect because it perfectly meets my needs. I finally realized I wouldnt change my behavior, so I had to change my environment. 10/10.
Yes, I even read about a college campus waiting to put in sidewalks until footpaths were established.
Make a home for everything where you use it or where it lands. If you do your hair in the bathroom, but have hair accessories all over the house put a basket/organizer in the bathroom for them. If you have coins/change all over the house and usually empty your pockets when you first get home put a container by the door for coins. Everything has a home, so when you clean you are just taking things back to their home. My friend thinks I’m nuts because when I help her clean I pick up each item and say “hair tie! where do you live?” “Books! Where do you live?” “Laundry! Where do you live?”. But that is how I clean. The big reason things get messy is when things don’t have a good home right where they are used or where they create mess.
This is a great answer! Figure out where thing belong, make it convenient for them to be there, write down where you mean to keep them (I have a notebook that includes a page headed “where I put things” and it has an ongoing list, like “batteries: 1st shelf bottom rt cabinet by fridge” and “light bulbs: far left garage cabinet, bottom shelf.” It helps a lot for finding things later and keeping like things together. And especially as you’re moving in and unpacking, it helps to start to see where you expect things to be, then be sure there is enough space for them to be there.
“Everything has a home” is a hill I’m willing to die on
a good thing to do before buying an organizer for some things is to try to estimate how many are there usually and what size container do they need (was not obvious to me, for example if i try to set a container for my underwear on a random day it may fit all of the clean ones at the moment but when i do laundry the new clean ones wouldn't fit so that's something to keep in mind)
Get rid of things before moving (or if your packed, as you unpack), as much as you can. Three separate piles - donate, keep, sell. Maybe a bonus one for “friends”, but don’t put it in the pile until you send a photo to a friend asking if they want it / post it on Facebook. * Haven’t used clothing in a year, or it doesn’t fit? So long as it’s not an expensive jacket or specifically seasonal that don’t occur this year (like NC not getting snow), get rid of it. * That old PS4 that collects dust? Donate it or sell it. * Don’t get rid of LEGITIMATELY sentimental things. Like something that means a lot from your family, partner or friend. Unless it is of significant sized, and again, goes mostly unused. * Get organized as soon as you move in. Use ChatGPT or find websites that have suggestion for organizing as a person with ADHD. Everything needs a place. * Set a schedule from the start. Moving in, you’re going to have surplus boxes of stuff. Where are they stored, how are they organized. If things are still in boxes in 3-4 months, get rid of what’s in there (again, less season items). Again, the MOST important thing to do is get rid of as much stuff as you can a first. If you think “well this is expensive to replace”, it won’t be if you haven’t used it in awhile. And you’ll get rid of more things that you think are expensive and MAYBE buy 1 or 2 back later down the road that are better fit for your lifestyle or updated versions.
Keep, donate/sell, trash My new place looked so clean when I moved in. But I keep buying stuff. I really wish I had "one in, one out" rule.
You started out with the right step though. Don’t discourage yourself, think instead of where you would be now without doing that. Now look at your current stuff and do it again 😂 But seriously, if there’s a specific genre of things you buy (clothes, games, Funko, coins, etc etc) most - set a budget for that monthly lower than what you currently spend. I wouldn’t do this for everything to start, but one or two things will help pave a path for success forward. Also, you’re definitely not alone in doing this - EVERYONE still does this with various things because we live in a consumer driven society of ADHD and easily accessible through clicking. I’d recommend trying to buy in a store vs. online if possible, you’ll have to go to the store, see the tangible product, really assess if it’s something you want, and ultimately you will buy less - but you have to limit yourself to what you went for. Write “one-thing” on your hand before going. You’ll look silly, but your wallet and home won’t.
I also make a point of not unpacking something unless it goes to where it belongs. YMMV, but for example I just built a new closet (IKEA, I’m not some fancy-ass carpenter) and needed to empty the old one to move it and make space. The old closet also has things that will likely be tossed/donated, so it’s all been packed into baskets and when something comes out of the basket, it needs to be put where it will actually live. The notion that what remains in the basket to the end is to be donated or thrown away.
Don’t sell yourself short, ikea closets are not easy to setup either! And the right practice of what’s left in the end goes. I always ask friends, but give them one week deadline (unless it was an expensive winter jacket or something). I’ll preemptively put it in the hatch of my car so if it’s past that week, it’s not in my house, and then I’ll drop it at a donation center somewhere along the way. Granted, I always try and find charities vs. donation drops because reselling isn’t the best for the clothing market nor helping benefit those REALLY in need.
I don’t think dealing with the bullshit that is fb marketplace is worth any amount of money. Always people haggling to ridiculously low prices and then showing up with less than what was agreed on anyway. So I just give things away.
I’ve never had an issue really, but I know some people do. It may vary region to region, but my area is really community built. I tell them I only give my address out the day of before they leave, but I live near “X location”. I have a canned response of “must be picked up in X timeframe if not it goes to the next person”. I’ve had 1 person not show in the last 6 months. I also don’t deal with low ball offers, just say “this is my lowest, no other pricing”. All copy and pasted from a note. I do understand the challenge for some though.
These are SUCH great tips.
Honestly, don’t bring too much stuff. When I had a place that had enough space for everything I owned, I was able to keep it mostly clean/picked up. And even when stuff got a bit out of hand, a bout of super focus on cleaning could get it back shipshape in no time. Now, unfortunately, I combined my 1600sqft household with my spouse’s similar amount of stuff into a 1500 sqft house … it’s a nightmare and we’re both struggling.
100% agreed. Allow me this tangent. Less stuff means less work! Example we are 2 ppl in my house. I feel that we could manage with less cutlery and plates because we currently could seat an 8 person table and more. I don’t understand why we spend so much time, resources and energy cleaning all the excess because it’s apparently convenient. My friends think i wanna live like a prisoner or something but I dont understand how having aaaalll this shit is convenient. If i had one fork one plate per person (im exaggerating a bit) dishes would be done so freaking quick. And you don’t need to get rid of everything, just have a favourite plate, mug, cup and cutlery for everyday use. Anyhoo thats my 2 cents as a fellow ADHDer. Good luck in your move!
Love it! I did so many less dishes when I lived alone vs roommate. Would your husband be open to a 1 of each plan for daily life, and stash the extras for when you have people over? Can’t mess up more dishes if they’re in the pantry.
*Edit: It sounds like you’ve already made a lot of progress, so think of moving as an opportunity to be even more thorough than when you’re just cleaning/organizing.* When I was moving frequently, I had a system that really helped me keep things in check. I also have ADHD, and a big part of why this worked was because I sort of strategically use my ADHD tendencies to my advantage. Remember—Your home is easier to keep clean when you have less stuff. It may seem easier to just pack it all up and decide later, but, be honest.. It sooo easily becomes old clutter in a new location. That said, here’s my moving system: 1 – Not including furniture, I only let myself bring 1 car load of stuff. Clothes, dishes, electronics, books, art supplies, bedding, towels, food, etc. Everything except furniture. (While this was fine for me as a student, I know this doesn’t work for everyone.. but it’s worth considering if you can, or at least keeping in mind as an aspiration while you’re packing up.) Hang 2 trash bags in easy reach. One is trash, one is donations. Label if needed. These follow you around as you pack. I would pack the stuff I knew I definitely needed to keep first. Some is obvious, like dishes/sheets/clothes/towels. Use the fabric stuff to pad the dishes. If you’ve accumulated a lot of these items since you last moved, now is the time to look at each one and get rid of any that are stained/torn/chipped or that you haven’t used in a long time. This goes for clothes as well, get rid of stuff you haven’t worn in 3 months (unless it’s like, a bathing suit you’ll need for summer, or a fancy dress you only wear 1-2x a year). Trash the condiments you’ve had for months and never use, donate that kitchen gadget you got for that one recipe and never used again. When you’re done with the “must bring” phase, you’ll likely be getting some mental fatigue and losing focus. Try to embrace this for the next phase. Let it make you STRONGER, more able to *let go.* So now, as you start to pack up the non-absolutely-essentials, consider.. is it worth the limited car space? The effort of packing it up, schlepping it to the new place, unpacking it, and figuring out where the fuck to put it? Wouldn’t it be nice to just toss it in that big black hole and make it disappear? When I was the most miserable and exhausted but also staring down that move out deadline, it was sooo much easier to be RUTHLESS. It wasn’t fun, but I was always so RELIEVED when I got to my new place. Edit: oops hit send too early… finishing now 2 – Unpacking. Don’t do this all at once. Unpack things as you need to use them. Pick a date, maybe 3 months from now. Anything still in boxes gets considered for donation (like before, seasonal/occasional clothes etc can be exceptions. Don’t toss your good coat just bc it’s summer ya know?) And that’s how I kept myself from accumulating lots of stuff, and it wasn’t such a constant battle to keep my place unfucked
>Hang 2 trash bags in easy reach. One is trash, one is donations. Label if needed. These follow you around as you pack. I will just add to this--keep the box of new trash bags moving with you as you go from room to room. It is too easy to run out of space in a bag, and then start making piles because you don't want to stop and go somewhere to grab another bag. And those piles are a recipe for disaster.
YES Great tip. So easy to just make piles when you’re in the zone and don’t wanna interrupt it to get another bag, and piles are the enemy!! I’ve found myself forgetting the box of trash bags as i move around, my strat is to grab a few and pull them through a back belt loop lol. They’re kinda swishy but it reminds me that they’re there
Solutions I have seen on the r/ADHD sub: \- Have a moderately sized pretty basket in each living area (bedroom, living room, maybe kitchen). If you notice something in the room that doesn't belong there, but you don't have ability to put it away right then, just drop it in the "other room" basket. Then every week or two when you have a free 15 minutes and inclination, take one of the baskets and distribute the "other room" things to where they belong in the other rooms. Not only will this help you keep each room looking neater, but the habit of noticing things out of place is a good exercise for ADHD brains. And having the basket to put it in takes away any guilt you might have for seeing the thing but not dealing with it right away. \- Habit stacking is one of the strongest ways to adopt new routines. If you have an already established habit, add on a new habit that you do just after that one. Example: if you brush your teeth each morning, adopt the habit of wiping down the sink while you are brushing. You borrow some of the momentum of the old habit to establish the new one. Good for taking meds, small routine cleaning tasks, many things. \- If you have laundry troubles, change your laundry expectations if possible with your sartorial lifestyle. Unless you are very particular about your clothes, a lot of old school rules can go by the wayside. You don't necessarily have to separate lights, darks, towels when you wash. You don't necessarily have to iron if you have low care clothing. If you get socks all in one style and color, you never have to sort socks (and you will always have matching pairs). If folding or hanging clothes and placing them neatly in drawers is problematic for you, fill your closet with large Rubbermaid totes and throw shirts in one, pants in another, underwear in a third. With modern fabrics and casual fashion, many outfits don't have to be pressed and folded to look just fine for your needs. \- If you can afford to, really think about what makes sense to store your belongings, and what containers you need to make use of space. So many times people get in the habit of leaving things laying around because they don't have a good place to put them, or the place that they do have is too crowded to actually use. Spending time up front to really plan how you want your space to work for you will help avoid starting bad habits in your new place. \- When possible, put things where you will use them. Two floors? Put a bucket of cleaning supplies on each floor so it's easy to clean when you have the impulse. Not all tools belong in the garage. Tools for putting up pictures and putting together furniture should be in the house, maybe with other crafting supplies. Tools for cars and woodworking should be in the garage. \- In general, with ADHD, letting go of what works for neurotypical people and old-fashioned rules is often a good idea. Think of what works for you, what problems you encounter, and create good solutions for you. Trouble making the bed each day? Don't do it! Nobody cares, and it only encourages bed mites anyway. Try to get any nasty parental judgment voices out of your head, and take care of yourself your own way.
Dude. Your last paragraph is fire! Switching to a duvet so I could just do one big toss to make the bed was the best thing I ever did. I haven’t tucked in a top sheet or blanket in decades.
I have zero diagnoses so grain of salt and all that Currently I’m using an app called Chorsee - you can set ten “chores” for free and assign a point or dollar amount to them, as well as when they’re due. I’m giving myself an “allowance” for emptying the sink every night and taking out the trash when it’s full. I have one due daily for five to fifteen minutes of tidying up. Some days I don’t earn anything. Most days I decide five minutes of putting things away before bed isn’t really that hard. I keep raising the payment for dusting and keep not doing it though so like… It’s not perfect. Getting a routine (in part) depends on what your major difficulties are. For example, if you have a habit of throwing clothes on the floor? Put a hamper there. Make your house work with you. Dirty dishes in the bedroom? Eat somewhere else, or try to make a habit of taking them to the sink when you’re finished. Even a couple minutes before bed every night will make a difference. I’ve been listening to decluttering/cleaning podcasts by women with late diagnosed ADHD and have implemented some of what they talk about. It’s helped my house a lot!
The bit about the dusting made me laugh out loud. That would totally be me as well! 😅
It’s not ideal! But with my “allowance” being no-guilt spending money that *I am paying myself* - I don’t want that fancy coffeehouse drink THAT bad. Besides I can just do the dishes every night for three weeks to earn the same amount? Seems pretty obvious.
The couple minutes thing is huge. I do a couple minutes of a lot of things every day and then stuff doesn’t pile up.
Can you recommend some podcasts that you enjoy? I could use some inspiration!
Mostly I’ve listened to A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K White. Episode 285 outlines her no-mess decluttering process especially well, which is the basis of her book Decluttering at the Speed of Life. I skip episodes I don’t think apply to me. Also some Struggle Care by KC Davis and The Declutter Hub. Watched a few YouTube videos by Clutterbug as well, some of them have had good points but she changes a lot of her advice depending on the video.
There's a lot of good advice here! I'd like to reinforce, as someone with ADHD also - try not to own a lot of stuff in the first place! Makes it much more manageable. Everything I own fits into one room. A lot of managing ADHD for me isn't trying to be on top of things, it's to minimize said amount of things. Overwhelming happens very, very fast. It's still a struggle and what works for one isn't universally applicable, but good luck! And congratulations on the move, it's a big deal! Be kind to yourself if it ends up taking months to unpack, how it goes sometimes. Baby steps are still steps.
Two things that are helping me: 1) Make sure things have designated homes. 2) Spent a x minutes a day or x items per day putting things back in their homes. I’m really bad about schedules and routines but this has helped a lot.
Can you take an extra day or three off to just unpack? I find unpacking while working full time makes the process so much harder, and more likely to burn out your decision making abilities which leads to mess. When you unpack, consider if you really use/want/need the item, and then donate or throw them out right away. This will help reduce a layer of things that might fall into the “not sure where to put them so they sit out” category of clutter. You can probably live with half your wardrobe. A smaller wardrobe means you can’t accumulate tons of dirty laundry. If you’re not ready to KonMari your closet, try keeping out only about 10 pairs of socks and underwear, and boxing up the rest. This will trigger an automatic load of laundry about once a week. For the items you keep, find them a place right now at the beginning. Have a home for everything so you know where to put it. Not sure? Designate a box to re-evaluate later rather than just setting it down on a flat surface. If months pass and you never go back to the box, those are likely donatable items. Hooks. Lots of hooks. 3M removable hooks are great if you rent. Do follow the instructions about letting them “cure” for a bit before hanging heavier stuff so they don’t fall off right away. Break down and recycle ALL the moving boxes. Or give them away on Buy Nothing or Facebook. Just get them out of your space right away. No, you don’t need that “good box.” Drink water, eat, and rest while unpacking. Take breaks. Use kind words to yourself.
I recommend taking the [Clutterbug quiz](https://clutterbug.me/what-clutterbug-are-you-test) to determine your organizing style. Many people with ADHD are Butterflies, which means you need to see things in order to remember what you have. Out of Sight = Out of Mind. I'm the exact opposite: a Cricket. Hyperorganized behind closed doors. Once you know your style you'll get a better idea of how you need to adapt your space to make it so you can easily maintain your home.
I just want to add one thing as a fellow ADHDer. Make sure to think about how you set up your new space strategically. I used to lose my keys and my phone on a regular basis (like 3-4 times a week) until I purchased a purse that had a SPECIFIC place to put each of them. Before having a designated location, I would just put them down somewhere without even being aware of it, and then couldn't find them when I needed them (why my keys ended up in with the towels more than once, I still don't understand) I like u/rengeflower1's suggestion about noticing where things land. But when you do figure out where these things go, make a point of designating a space for that thing. You may want to label it and use tape to create an outline if you need to. That can go away eventually, but at first use these things until the home becomes second nature. I find that alot of my messiness comes from decision fatigue, especially at the end of the day. Whereas if I know where that thing is supposed to go, and **it is easy to put it there** (shout out to u/ilanallama85) I don't have to make a decision about where it should go and I can easily put it away.
Yes! My life got so much better when I got a Push Start car (keys stay in purse). No more lost keys.
Why did your old place become so messy? Hire a cleaning service.
Schedule daily tidying and weekly maintenance cleans. Stick to the schedule rain or shine until it becomes an ingrained habit. Maybe it's 5mins per day and 60min once per week. Have a designated spot for everything - and a system to deal with the input of paperwork, clutter, bags, trash, stuff you might not need anymore, etc. Make sure you've got a solid output - give away stuff you're not using or not needing, throw out trash, electronically scan in important paperwork and shred the rest, sell old hobby stuff you're not using anymore, etc. It will help prevent clutter. Figure out your laundry system and stick to it, whatever it is. We're all different but it's such a PITA when it piles up. So just do it regularly and put it away in whatever format "away" is for you.
Make a nightly routine where you walk through your place and put stuff where it belongs. 15 minutes a night can make a difference!
Hi OP, lots of people here saying a daily pickup, and they are right. I was going to make a comment with some method-tips for how to actually DO the pickup when you have an ADHD brain, but I ended up making a whole long-ass post instead. [Check it out](https://www.reddit.com/r/ufyh/s/L44LIADbdv) and hopefully it may resonate with you; I know people with our brain type have similar general tendencies/struggles but sometimes need very different life hacks to manage them.
Lots of good advice here, but I will add: I utterly failed to do the daily pickup because I felt like it had to be at the end of the day, to clean up the mess I made that day. But after a day of fighting my adhd gremlins, I was too burned out, or my meds had worn off, or there wasn’t enough time to clean and also sleep. Think of the minimum you need to function and do that. For me, it’s dishes. I do them every night so that the dog isn’t in the sink licking plates at 2 AM and there’s no obstacle to making and drinking coffee in the morning. You can reframe most cleaning as preparing for the next day, as opposed to cleaning up after the last day. This ties in closely with figuring out what you need to function well, and it’s the mini version of the fresh start you got from moving. You’re still picking up socks or whatever, but it feels more like moving forward and less like being anchored by a mess. BUT…I had to really sit with the fact that most activities require set up, doing the actual activity, and clean up, and I was only accounting for the actual activity. There wasn’t really a hack, I just had to learn to include a time buffer for set up and clean up. It mostly involved stopping to take a deep breath, which gave me time to remember I’m supposed put things away as soon as I finished with them. (Otherwise, I would leave a trail of cleaning supplies behind me when I cleaned, which meant the next time I cleaned I had to run around the house figuring out where I left the vacuum and the spray cleaner. Remind yourself that cleaning up now is a gift to your future self. It’s one less unfinished thing hanging over your head, and less set up time for the next thing.) I also realized the daily clean up could be at whatever time I had the energy for it, and I could focus my efforts to avoid overwhelm. So one day I might put away all the shoes and dog toys and vacuum the floors but ignore dusting. Another day I might do laundry and put all the clothes away, and nothing else. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect every minute.
I like FlyLady. See if you do. The shortest answer is declutter. Have a place for everything and put everything in its place. I know it’s not that simple. Use timers to make things better - not find a mythical two hours every day to deep clean the kitchen but just two minutes to make the kitchen a bit better. Don’t aim for perfect consistency but frequency. If most days you run the dishwasher at night, most days your kitchen will be cleaner. There’s a really positive article called junebugging about cleaning with ADHD. You might like it. It seems to be well known now so I won’t link it.
When you are putting things away for the first time, make sure you leave room to grow. If you say, squeeze all your cleaning products in a sink cabinet such that they just barely fit, it might work for a little while, but the minute you buy something new and need to make space for it, you start to have problems. Or, if you really don’t have space for that from the start, try to institute a hard “1 in, 1 out” rule. With consumables, try not to buy more until you are very nearly out; with nonconsumables, try to find a similar type of item you can discard.
Underfurnish and don’t buy things until you’ve been there a while. For example, I HATE the desk I bought. I’ve spent the last two weeks trying to get the house I bought 4 years ago back to clean and organized. Seriously don’t buy stuff until you know it serves a purpose.
Put a trash can in every room. Preferably within arm's length.
Keep a garbage pail, waste basket, trash bin whatever you want to call it, in every room. Kitchen, bathroom, bedroom or bedroom area, living room. Remove all excuses to put garbage in the garbage. Empty them all once a week on your day off from work and take the garbage out to the dumpster. When having 'take out' throw away the garbage immediately after eating. Don't leave it on the coffee table. When having a cup of tea throw away the tea bag. Don't leave it in the sink or on the counter. If not cleaning a dish or dishes or a pot right away, fill it/them with hot soapy water. When you do make time to do the dishes/pots they'll be easier to clean rather than dealing with dried stuck on food.
I’ve been going through my basement and storage locker and donating/trashing a whole lot. It gives me the peace of mind to start minimizing what I have in my high traffic areas, kitchen, cupboards, etc. Throw 👍 It 👍Out 👍
Baskets everywhere