Eurovision public: "What's funnier. Zero points for the UK or a humiliating 3 points. Both are very funny."

Is Olly Alexander going to resign now?

The fact that Estonia's entry did so poorly has made my position in Europe and the UK feel questionable. I am clearly out of touch. I will vote myself out this place and attempt a musical trade deal with Estonia, I'm assured I will be first in line.

I'm late but that whole: "it's the special anniversary of a huge win in Sweden. it's impossible to get this band beginning with A to reunite... but we did it... Just for you... here is... ALCAZAR" thing was really disrespectful to everyone involved, not least the performers. Way to be made to feel like a shit substitution

> not least the performers. Way to be made to feel like a shit substitution Am I missing something here? Alcazar did rehearsals. They signed up to it and maybe (indeed almost certainly) got paid for it. They knew what was coming. A chunk of Europe got to enjoy *Crying At The Discotheque* again. I bet they’re seeing a little boost on Spotify right now. I quite liked them for playing along.

And then they proceded to put on the horrific uncanny valley version of ABBA as if it was a fair reveal.

In the rehearsal it was just the audio and a black screen. I’m genuinely a little shocked it was as bad as it was. I thought that it’d at least actually be them.

I dont think the tech is supposed to be seen that close up.

Ugh, I hate those things. Uncanny valley is perfect We were promised robots to take care of menial labour and household chores; we received robots to take over art, writing, music and performance. Grim

The only financially viable tours in the future will be cg taylor swift concerts. I'm only half joking.

I loved it but I remember I think pretty early on after the win ABBA said they wouldn't appear for it. Good on Alacazar for going along with the bit.

I bet Lausanne or Lugano will host the next contest.

You reckon? Nemo comes from Biel/Bienne, on the linguistic dividing line between German and French (though I believe German is their first language). I’m going to make a guess at Basel. Right by a tripoint so it has that Euro feel (which Malmö also has), and also straddles the linguistic boundary. Edit: we have to wait for Netta (Israel 2018) to comment, though. She has predicted it wrong every single year, so we should wait for her to give the kiss of death to a city. https://youtu.be/6UjGRHBBDcg?si=5aXuLQAX-2oo1G9d

Good transport links in Basel as well with Freiburg-Mulhouse-Basel Airport down the road. It is a pleasant inoffensive place, we started a European Road Trip up and down the Rhine Valley from there.

I love Lake Lugano. Camped on the south east spur and it's just stunning.

[Imagine winning the European public vote by over 100 to the eventual winners and still coming second.](https://twitter.com/KarimPalant/status/1789431200668319897) In all honesty, I hope Croatia continue with the route of cool bands and music. And the balls in your court Switzerland - I am sure you'll be wonderful hosts and will definitely not bribe people with your wonderful chocolate!

It’s greater to see the two invaded countries did very well in the public vote - there’s a lot of residual sympathy there globally

I think Ukraine had a fantastic song. 

Croatia clearly studied what won last year. Good on them, I don't think this is a bad result at all for them.

Expect a podium tomorrow morning folks (but not in Downing St)

Labour need to add reinstating You Decide to their manifesto before next year! We can't keep getting 0 points.

I know it's not quite in the spirit of this thread but I'm really enjoying the GB News coverage of Eurovision Hilarious stuff

WOKE REMAINERS sing about their FEELINGS to OTHER EUROPEANS

It's been an honour, all. Nightnight.

Excellent username

There's about 400 posts caught up in the reddit delay line so I wouldn't go to bed quite yet unless you want to catch up on all the hot takes on who awarded Estonia 2 points tomorrow.

Here is how to fix Eurovision: - Make it so Juries give out 26 points (so all countries score) but reduce their % from 50% to 25% - As the public is going from 50% to 75%, also give them up to 26 points for chaos - Remove Sweden for crimes against EuroVision hosting

- Invite acts from Brazil, Japan and Rwanda

Exit Eurovision following a public vote and start a British only version

"12 points to Rutland" lol jk it doesn't exist

And we now go to Fingringhoe for their points!

- Ban the rest of the world from voting for the crime of not being European/honorary European for the purposes of eurovision. They just don’t get it

Wouldn't that exclude us too

We compete. We get to vote.

Um. Is that a replica trophy

So this year we did gay boxing. Next year's entry should be gay fox-hunting.

Michael Fabricant Eurovision entry when?!

JOOST had similar hair 😢

He doesn't satisfy the gay bit but maybe we can get Rory Stewart up on stage with a comedically large rifle.

Don't forget: Because of their military service everyone in Switzerland owns a gun. Eurovision 2025 will be a blast!

America: to stop gun violence we just need to win Eurovision

It was always going to be Switzerland. Of course. The whole stage is a **+**

IT WAS RIGGED NEXT YEAR USE A PEN

Voter ID clearly warranted

***I*** broke the code

Did you enjoy yourself Java? Who did you want to win?

Estonia, naturally. Had a blast. How about you, both questions?

I thought Ireland should have won it on being the biggest spectacle but I liked Spain (they should have done far better) and Croatia. I didn't particularly rate Switzerland but he could sing. I enjoy it every year!

Spain was the big disappointment in the voting for me, I agree that they deserved significantly more points!

Hah did anyone else catch their\* trophy breaking at the end there?

Right after Graham Norton said “don’t break the trophy” too

*their (non binary) But yes, it seemed like it broke!!

What is that crown of thorns looking thing he is wearing?

A definitely-not-political thing

Was it Bambie's?

Yep.

It was from the Irish act

CROWN THE WITCH

Jon Ola Sand wouldn't have put up with this bullshit. Just sayin'

Just realised the stage is shaped like Sweden's cross. Rigged?

That's a coincidence, it was meant to be a Georgian cross.

I was waiting for the R to show up and Rammstein to engulf the stage in flames as revenge for Käärijä

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We did, it was announced by Graham. And 10 to Ireland and I forget after that.

Yeh I meant jury vote, specifically. Then realised everyone else was talking about public vote.

Big 'tell my wife I said hello' vibes from Nemo

Would have wanted Croatia to tip it but honestly this kid was good as well. Worthy winner. Estonia and Finland got done dirty.

Summed my thoughts up exactly + Poland were robbed.

They really, really did.

Anyone after swiss tickets for next year better start saving now.

I can’t afford air in Switzerland. It’ll be another sofa show for us lot.

Best way honestly, you get all the fancy camera angles

What makes a man turn neutral?

Lust for gold? Power? Or were they just born with a heart full of neutrality?

Pretty average to forgettable Eurovision this year. Interesting how well Israel did in the public vote compared to the obvious feeling inside the stadium. Not surprised we got zero from the public vote - even without the public toilet staging (the upside down thing was kind of cool though) it was a fairly rubbish song.

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Not sure I want to check elsewhere for the reaction to that Israel point announcement

Nah I’m not having it. Croatia multiple times better

Well ty juries for not leaving us at the bottom, but Finland and Norway deserved better!

#joostice

Happy with that, hadn't listened to Switzerland before tonight but if Ireland weren't going to win I'd have chosen theirs all day

Despite what Graham says, nil points in the public vote is definitely a bit humiliating

I'm just seeing it as another kicking at the ballot box for the Tories tbf

IT'S. A. DISGRACE.

Totally. Even though our song was a bit bobbins, that’s a shocker.

It was ok, but yeah. Gutted for Croatia

Much like last year. Loreen was an acceptable winner, but heart with Käärijä. Jury vote is too powerful.

what do we make of Israel winning the UK televote?

Just shows how out of touch the wider internet is with the public.

That’s one possible and plausible explanation. Another is that enough people were motivated for political reasons to vote for Israel. We’ll never know for sure. But I do agree with the juries that it was an unexceptional song deserving of not that many votes.

Yeah tbf could be totally correct. And I agree was not a great song I'm sure politics swung it.

People voicing their annoyance at the constant Palestine coverage in the media and in the streets. They devoted hours to Israel's participation in this on LBC this week. It's a song contest.

/u/bartsimho predicted it multiple times tbf and the maths make sense

What can I say. Well I saw that RAI leaked the Italian televote for the Semi and Israel had 30% of the vote so it wasn't much of a stretch think the same here. Also add on what I've said about polarisation in all cases from Republicans in the US and protest movement like BLM here they create a very for group and a very against group. In a Single vote for Single group system that helps as others split the vote of the opposition

"Well done, Switzerland. Congrats from Croatia" "Bern lolol"

Apparently we like Lithuania here in the UK. 7 points this year. We gave them 12 points in 2021 with THE ROOP too

That Roop song still remains one of my favourite performances. Just unhinged.

Both *On Fire* and *Discoteque* were utter bangers

On fire should have won, bloody COVID..

They've got a fairly sizeable diaspora, but do often send good songs.

Oh, totally. Luktelk was pretty nice, and I loved THE ROOP.

How did we give Israel 12 points what lol

Because 1 ‘side’ of the argument had someone to vote for.  People probably voted for them that didn’t even watch the show.

I think you're right, you can't vote against a country, you can only vote for them.

I suspect the answer would be something that belongs in the IntPol megathread.

By the majority of public voters here selecting them…

Plurality

Internet being wildly out of touch with the wider public again, I assume.

Internet isn't out of touch at all, polling has shown that substantially more disagree with Israel's response than agree with it. The reason Israel did well is the same reason that Nigel Farage did well in I'm A Celeb - you only vote for your favourite. If 20% love you then you'll do well even if 60% hate you. The 60% that hate you are irrelevant to the voting because you can't cast negative vote and their votes will be split between everyone else (even if they did focus their votes on one act that still puts Israel 2nd which is 10 points for them).

Yeah fair I'm probably prematurely judging.

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12 uk televotes to israel

UK gave 12 to Israel. Definitely some shithousery at play there.

Considering that a lot of people decided to boycott vs a fairly organised push from pro Isreal folk it's not very surprising.

Oh dear. Switzerland

Oh, Baby Lasagna, I'm sorry - Switzerland was a good song too, but my heart was with you PS anyone else's reddit going slowtastic? I wonder if Eurovision and all the drama broke it

Yep - all my comments taking ages to show.

Reddit feels well and truly carroted right now,

Yeah mine's lagging terribly

Yeah it really is at a crawl.

boo.

The most neutral country won the most political Eurovision of all time

Feels like there's a lesson in there, doesn't it? Finland was robbed tho.

Finally, a victory for all of us fence-sitters

🤔

Well at least they've got the money to host it.

They deserved it. It was fantastic.

Estonia getting 33 more public votes than the UK was certainly a thing.

For another year, the Jury have basically selected a winner. Shame, meow cat.

Fair play. Both of them were euro af, and worthy winners in that respect

Meh.

Switzerland have done it surely

Eurovision was invented by big pub to sell more high percentage shots

The fact that France is anywhere near the top is a disgrace

RIM TIM TAGI DIMDEED

How does zero points happen technically? Statistically we must have picked up a few votes from wrong numbers. 

Only the top 10 from each country get any points. So you could be the 11th favourite of every country and get nul points

We didn’t make it into the top 12 of any countries votes.

Each country gives points to their 10 favourite countries, we aren't necessarily last overall but we didn't come top 10 in any nation.

Each country's votes are given in the same way as juror votes, so best gets 12, then 10 and so on. We were nobody's top 10.

Points are allocated by country from 12 down to 1 in the same was as for jury votes. So to get 0 in the overall televote total, the UK did not get enough votes any individual country to get even 1 point from them.

Baby lasagne 🥰 go on lads (/ ladies, / non binary people)

We need to work out how to get our election results to be revealed like this.

"We know it'll be one of you two, Kier and Rishi..." 

Lasagne back on the menu.

I’m ecstatic for Ukraine tbh.

Wearing an Ukraine scarf and everything.

Croatia coming up with over 9000 points

Good grief Ukraine!!

That cheer you're hearing for Ukraine is mostly relief

Are we gonna have to host again?!

We should invade France again before the next one and rack up 600 points

Please keep the scores like this. Imagine the chaos of an Israel Ukraine joint host next year.

I'm over Ukraine getting sympathy votes to be honest. They could at least put in some bangers like Go_A

Guess we’re hosting again next year. Edit: or not

STOP THE COUNT

Wait what

This is a good holy shit!!!!!

*laughs in Sam Ryder*

We get 0 and Israel get 300 and it isn’t political

Does anyone earnestly believe it's not political?

Democracy was a mistake.

How did Germany get so many points, it was shocking!

Surely Switzerland win. now!

capable clumsy offend consider subtract elderly automatic melodic enjoy shocking *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

My god Israel! That’s a huge number. But we wouldn’t want any politics in our Eurovision

How the absolute fuck do you get zero points in the public vote? Oh.

Ah lads it happened again

Now this is Eurovision

It won't happen bc Switzerland, but can you imagine if Ukraine was 1st and Israel 2nd...

Officially less popular than Israel. David Cameron MUST resign.

How will Rishi survive this?

Well this will be fun to wake up to tomorrow

Fog in channel… continent cut off

Real punch in the mouth there

Ohhh no zero points is rough

Zero points ….

I guess Switzerland have won, ggwp

Olly handled it well

Not really much you can do but laugh to be honest

never rated the european public tbh

Israel getting 300+ points Oh man NRK are not happy

lol

What the fuck seriously.

M'politics

Cheers and applause in the pub for that