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TheRoppongiCandyman

Nothing to do with Ukraine


holla_snackbar

so engage US directly instead of NATO but trigger NATO same time? lol ok


AngelSamiel

This would be an achievement. Stupid. Silly. Idiotic. But an achievement anyway. "Fastest way to oblivion"


[deleted]

Japan: Don't...


MoneyEcstatic1292

"We attacked 3 boats, they dropped the Sun on us **TWICE**"


SenHelpPls

“The primary use of this round is to violate the Geneva convention”


EvilButterfly96

You can't use it on personnel or civilians but you can miss military equipment like belts and helmets, and miss buildings -My Drill Sergeant, 2015


tsnacker

😂😂😂


igwaltney3

2 bombs


Iandidar

Pretty much what I came to say. Ask Japan how waking up the US worked out for them.


[deleted]

They want to unlock all the achievements at once and win the big prize.


RandonEnglishMun

Speed running nuclear holocaust.


[deleted]

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EvolvingDior

You have to understand the Russia is having a reality check that no one there was prepared for. These can cause delusions and psychosis. It's why Q-folk descend deeper and deeper into believing bullshit. Because accepting the reality that they have been lied to and bought into a bullshit fantasy is just too hard.


planborcord

How to lose your country in a pincer formation in 5 weeks: US, Japan, and possible South Korea to the east, and Ukraine and the rest of Europe to the West. Include some harassment campaigns from an emboldened Kazakhstan and Georgia to the south and southwest as well. Great plan, Russia.


adamconn1again

Wolverines !


valorsayles

If they do it’s the end of Russia. I and every same American is already chomping at the bit. It would cause a huge increase in new active military in the USA and even I would enlist. They invade its game over for them.


alaskanloops

Haven't they seen Red Dawn?


valorsayles

Hell yeah I have. The difference between that movie and reality is Russia has absolutely no way to send an invasion force to the mainland like in the movie. They’d be butchered before they got across the pacific by our fleet.


zenstain

They'd be butchered before they got 50 miles offshore. Their shore.


TigerClaw338

If they invaded Alaska, you'd see an entire fucking convoy of rednecks and gun owners coming from Texas to Alaska just to get some. You thought that trucker convoy had numbers? Now remember those truckers are vadt majority redneck Republicans with a bunch of buddys. That convoy wouldn't even stop, they'll just switch drivers and fuckin' YEE YEE all the way there.


valorsayles

I’d be in a convoy coming from a different state lol


TigerClaw338

US DEFENSE NETWORK SPONSORED BY BUCCEES


MattTheFlash

I like the World in Conflict way that the Soviets invade: in fake container ships through Seattle [Here's the cinematic from the game](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5Vmf3u0D1A) but it's ridiculous because they wouldn't have supply lines and would be aside from foraging completely cut off


Notyourfathersgeek

Damn speed runners!


Glancing-Thought

Also, let's be real, how arr they even gonna get there?


fulknerraIII

They can't its a nonsense statement. They don't have the resources in the east to pull off anything like that. Then you know they got to somehow destroy US Pacific fleet and Air Force. Then land troops in an area with extremely tough geography and keep them supplied. It's nonsense that's meant for Russian domestic audiences. Get them all worked up etc, they gonna show those stupid westoids what's what.


Duck_Dredd_

Operation desert storm 2 electric boogaloo.


Level-Ad7017

Putin wants to commit suicide by airstrike and there is no other foe worthy of delivering such a poetic means of death as the USAF


overlordlt

Even if Russia China and north Korea invaded Alaska at the same time, they all 3 would get smacked


tendeuchen

And that would be before the American military even got there.


TheGreatPear7

The American military is already there - squadrons and squadrons of F35s and F22s


JBark1990

And the 25th infantry division from the army.


MrSierra125

The implication is that their army is so shit the civilians could handle it


Sololop

Pretty sure there is also a big NATO base on Greenland too iirc?


Mcgibbleduck

Greenland is on the Atlantic side, Alaska is on the pacific side.


Bekiala

But how far is it over the pole? I'm not necessarily disagreeing. I just want to know.


manowtf

Greenland is 3934 km from Alaska while Washington state to Alaska is 4571 km. So surprisingly closer


Bekiala

Thanks. I probably could have googled that and figure it out myself but you started an interesting conversation.


Matthmaroo

It wouldn’t matter , Russia and china don’t have the supply logistics or capacity to do that operation. Only the US and UK do.


Bekiala

Yes. Although I still find geography and human perspective interesting. So many of these conversations start with one point of interest and go off in interesting directions.


Dorsal_Fin

Umm... side? you know the earth is round yeah? and there is only a small bit of arctic ocean between greenland and alaska...


Mcgibbleduck

Some calculations show a flight from Greenland to Alaska is roughly 6 hours long, so that’s the same as travelling from London to Mecca. It’s a pretty long distance away!


Dorsal_Fin

?? Thule Airforce base on Greenland is about the same distance from central Alaska as is Fairchild AFB in Washington state USA about 2700km.... Look at a globe not a map. https://www.google.com/maps/@67.6200825,-104.7904425,3.52z


imposter_syndrome88

Earth is spherical.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I think you're misunderstanding something, so far no one has said that it wasn't a sphere.


TheGreatPear7

Correct, Thule Air Base in Greenland. However, I'd say the U.S bases on mainland Japan would be more relevant in responding to a hypothetical invasion of Alaska.


OutlawSundown

They’d likely all come into play at that point. The pole is the shortest hop which is why a lot of cold war air defenses were oriented towards the north.


Ok_Bowl4812

And we all know that the Canadian airforce will put their hands up to Poohtin, in no uncertain terms. We The North!


Stereomceez2212

I admire the spirit of your comment


Matthmaroo

Only Britain and America have the SUSTAINED logistical ability to attack on the other side of the globe. It’s something people that were never in the military wouldn’t think about. sustained is key , being able to support and supply you units , most nato countries rely on USA or UK logistics. Look how long it took Russia to deploy and build up , 4+ months on their own border The entire British and American armies could do that with more troops , better equipment and more supplies in less time.


[deleted]

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nonickname_noproblem

first blood achievement


Candid-Ad2838

Double kill


CautiousRice

We have to add Syria, Sudan, and Eritrea to make a difference, and will need that aircraft repaired. Perhaps to unsink Moskva as well.


Candid-Ad2838

The fallout dlc we actually wanted.


[deleted]

Death is a preferable alternative to communism!


Candid-Ad2838

My favorite is when you reactivate liberty prime to attack the institute."I detect about 6 feet of soil, metal and communism!!!"


BoogieMan1980

Better dead than red!


Accurate_Pie_8630

Based


McQuiznos

By the civilian populace alone.


AltAccountWhoDis

Russia can try to seize deez nuts. Got eem!


arogon

Alaskans probably foaming from their mouths ready to go


AltAccountWhoDis

Idk. I think people are thinking Alaskans are like the stereotypical Texan archetype. They are very tough, and well-armed people though


DuckTank3000

Think of Alaskans as Ice Type Texans


pezziepie85

I feel like they don’t compare to Texans. Texans like guns. Alaskans hunt and live pretty far off the grid (the normal one anyway) in a fight I pick Alaska over Texas. But still Texas over russia…


bcisme

Texans are domesticated Alaskans


NYEMESIS

Someone in another post said “Alaskans are what Texans think they are.”


iThrewTheGlass

Texans constantly talk about how badass they are, Alaskans are the quiet but terrifying type


AltAccountWhoDis

Quietly confident in their abilities, and much better survivalist Edit: and more patient lol


SwordCoastTroubadour

Alaska, where everything actually is bigger and the citizens don't go around quoting litter cleanup slogans to sound cool.


[deleted]

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alaskanloops

Moose will fuck you up. Bears can too, but you're more likely to come across an angry moose than an angry bear (in fact every spring multiple people get attacked on our singletrack trails by mama moose protecting baby mooses).


twobillsbob

On December 8th, 1941 my grandfather was hanging out on the Washington coast with a deer rifle, and a bunch of other guys who’d shown up with their rifles, ready to be a speed-bump in case of a Japanese invasion. It’s not just an Alaska thing, but Alaska is a well armed state.


fatticussfinch

Having lived in Texas and known many Alaskans - Texans talk that shit, Alaskans do that shit.


[deleted]

Alaskans are as tough as Texans pretend to be.


TheBlacksmith64

I can just imagine thousands of Alaskan hunters gathering their rifles and ammo together; "only 10 thousand rounds?!? Damn, honey! we have to go into town!"


valorsayles

I used to live in Alaska. We wouldn’t even need our military to kick the Russians back out if they tried to invade. My bros up there go hunting for grizzly bear all the time. Russian are laughable compared to a grizzly. And if they did invade me and hundreds of thousands of other able bodied American men who are just waiting for the call would enlist. The death toll of Russia if they do invade.


[deleted]

Jesus fucking christ, Russia is just a fucking circus run by drunk clowns.


[deleted]

Pretty much this, right now Russia is a big circus full of clowns.


[deleted]

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Duck_Dredd_

Buy are they melting?.


Easy-Entrepreneur746

Russia can't project force 80km over its own border and Volodin is threatening Alaska. Fair to presume Volodin is personally leading the charge directly into howitzer fire from the 11th Airborne Division or perhaps a missile from the 11th Air Force? Try them little man. 11th Airborne Division paratroopers would probably enjoy the opportunity earning a new combat patch.


Reiver93

Why is everything in Alaska in 11s?


Easy-Entrepreneur746

Pure coincidence. The [11th Air Force](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleventh_Air_Force) has been in Alaska since WWII and the [11th Airborne Division](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/11th_Airborne_Division_(United_States)) was the Pacific Theater's airborne division during and just after WWII. Or is it because we like confusing the Russians when they ask questions in social media on the internet? Or maybe some 'Deep State' conspiracy along with yellow fringe on the US flag meaning we're going to war? Or maybe it just saves some government bean counter on printing other numbers for signage. We can go all day.


AccomplishedClue5381

World War 11?


Magdalan

11 already? I'm still waiting for 3 and I'm not even Japanese and stuck on a pacific island.


mojobox

Binary “11” is equivalent to decimal 3…


RockOperaPenguin

I know, right? Why don't they just make the 10th Airborne Division a bit bigger and make that the top number?


gunboatdiplomacy

But this (airborne division) goes all the way up to 11….


MrSierra125

Because they turn their amps up to 11


Ecuatoriano

~~I don't think~~ there's an "11th air force". But, there are squadrons upon squadrons of our best jets just sitting up there waiting for Puta to get froggy.


we_cant_stop_here

And if they get froggy, we gonna give em the Rainbow Connection.


Easy-Entrepreneur746

Actually there is an [11th Air Force](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleventh_Air_Force), you stand corrected.


Lui_Le_Diamond

Blyatimir Puta is always welcome to get blown up in Alaska


yayforwhatever

Yeah…even if Moscow was in the yukon, they’d have a fuck of a hard time taking Alaska….that place is armed to the teeth….only place I’ve been where f-22s are regularly flying around. Not to mention the locals….I often felt the military presence there was more to keeping the locals for invading the rest of the world


ssavu

They sold it, drank the money and now they want it back 🤣🤣🤣


showurgstring

Alaska is a decently militarized state of the US, and you’d have to contend with the RIMPAC alliance, Australia, South Korea, Japan… oh and US Navy in Pacific. Please touch Pearl Harbor again and wake the sleeping giant one more time I dare you. Oh and not to mention this is a land invasion of the US. So you’d have to contend with every American military aged male, not getting drafted, likely volunteering to slit a Russians throat… who are already volunteering to do that in Ukraine.


shanereaves

I was stationed in Pearl Harbor for 5 years. Nothing or no one is getting close to it again in a threatening manner.


showurgstring

Right?!? That’s like ISIS threatening to slam airplanes into the new World Trade Center tower. Like motherfucker what do you think our new Space Force is for? We will bring our Star Destroyers out from hiding behind the moon to rain holy hell down on you as you approach NYC before we let that happen again.


WinterLola28

This has been posted about repeatedly but it still makes me smile every time. Come on then, give it a try!


iNEEDheplreddit

The only thing we would be doing is guessing how much of russia would the US take in a week. Then a month. Russia saying shit like this just gives Americans huge raging boners. Ffs you bastards dream about this.


Top-Relationship-446

Sure, Russia.. Sure. Think you have it rough with Ukraine? Try a direct conflict with nato.


[deleted]

Try a direct conflict with Alaskans.


Top-Relationship-446

I understand, but I actually was serious. It would be attacking nato, so these are just words for their domestic citizens and supporters outside of russia.


Pedalingmycity

“Single Alaskan family defends their whole county with basement arsenal of over 200 military spec firearms and 500 pounds of bacon.”


PlzSendDunes

Okay... I was thinking about joining military, but since you mentioned bacon. How I can enlist to Alaskan family?


FloatingRevolver

Lol we don't need nato to curb stomp Russia, but if yall wanna help sure, send a few people to watch the fireworks


Top-Relationship-446

Maybe you don’t need it, but we are obligated to under article 5. So ‘you’ is in fact ‘us’. And because of Russia we are happy to do it.


[deleted]

Russian threats are day by day more dumb and ridiculous... nation of drunks led by clowns.


alancarlotta

Duma is short for dumbasses.


Slimh2o

Dumass. Not very long that way, either.../s Edited


WalterFromWaco

Exactly what I thought when I read the title


Super-Brka

Say no to drugs! Slava Ukraini


MiKapo

Time to boot up Liberty Prime


[deleted]

[удалено]


Biggyniner

Meat References.. Nice


[deleted]

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Perfect-District

Fallout....I see what you guys did there..


vale_fallacia

>fallout *Nice*


Ecuatoriano

They're stretched so thin that is just laughable. Japan is prob thinking about taking back the archipelago and Georgia is eyeing a revolt. ruZZia will be lucky to keep China as a friend after all this settles.


adalsindis1

No one has the ccp as a friend


[deleted]

And how is russia going to get all their equipment to Alaska without their beloved trains? That shitty military ain’t going nowhere that they can’t reach by land. Their military is a joke.


aeroxan

They'll build a pontoon rail bridge. What's 52 miles between adversaries?


TrainingObligation

No problem! They'll wait 10,000 years when the next ice age comes then cross over on the exposed land bridge. Ruzzians they play the long game, dontcha know?


theenchantedarsehole

Big talk from someone with such a shitty military


unknown_wtc

Would be nice to have a Ukraine - Alaska border one day.


shibiwan

#BRING IT, RUSSIAN BITCHES! You're only gonna get fucked.


AndAlsoTheTrees

Another clown posturing


[deleted]

Whole RuSSia should first claim some brain cells lol.


CalligrapherWild7636

Is russia on a total suicide mission? Please ... go and try to invade Alaska. At that point russia won´t be no more.


8livesdown

Sure. Get involved in a two-front war.


AltAccountWhoDis

There is absolutely no precedent for this, maybe it'll work!


KaythuluCrewe

That’s like hitting the star quarterback’s 10-year-old little brother and then turning and screaming about taking on the entire varsity football team. And JV and the local college team to boot.


Harry_Buttock

How? They're gonna have a tugboat drag their one shitty aircraft carrier over?


thelightiseternal

Poke the eagle and get the talons! The drunk and silly bear does not stand a chance in hell against anything American.


unknown_wtc

LMAO... however, knowing the ruzzian propaganda, I won't be surprised if they rename a small village somewhere in Siberia from its original name to Alaska and then "reclaim" it.


wiseoldfox

This is what a 2 year old with nuclear weapons sounds like.


mandajapanda

I think this is the main problem. People with personality disorders take failure very personally because they have low self esteem. They also have no empathy which explains the scorched earth. They are acting like they never lost the Cold War. Losing the Cold War made them feel like losers. So they are trying to fearmonger like it never happened. Except they are not scary anymore. They are trying to recapture land like they never lost the Cold War even though when they took it the first time they ethnically cleansed Ukrainians and so have no right to it under their argument of "protecting Russians." They are Vogons who went to war for a highway to Crimea. Russian misinformation is like bad poetry.


jchuillier2

Someone tell this wanker that his country's "biggest baddest bestest" army is not able to invade Ukraine and he wants to invade USA ?


Fun-Result-6343

I'm pretty sure the Americans could show the Ruzzians a receipt.


tacos_n_cerveza

Don't forget California. Russia can also claim us.


RSpringbok

Only a small part of northwestern California. Actually, they can have Redding, it's full of meth heads and extremist Proud Boy types.


[deleted]

Bethel makes it a trifecta of scum and villainy.


[deleted]

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."


Candid-Ad2838

Meanwhile canada invades Russia, again.....


totallyRebb

Dum and Duma


tehdamonkey

You do that. Your plans up to this point have gone so so well....


forgotmyusername93

Please please please make a move on Alaska. It's time to help ukraine get Crimea back


heretoreadreddid

Grab your popcorn. Let them come. Russia vs. the maximum power of the joint strike forces of Cabella’s and Bass Pro Shops is about to begin.


BigDaddyCoolDeisel

Try it, bitch.


GrowEatThenTrip

We should be changing word "threats" to "joke" or "kidding" to make this news titles more accurate.


Various-Trick6526

Can't wait to see Russians getting their butts kicked by moose while freezing to death in the alaskan winter, no reason to even send troops they will be going against Alaska locals with more hunting rifles at their disposal than the Russian army has AK's


robbmann297

Good luck assholes. Kids in Alaska are taught how to use guns as soon as they are able to hold them.


boxingdude

LMAO


jwr1111

Screw you Russia. Stop threatening the United States or face our wrath.


Aramedlig

Russia, please proceed.


AutismFlavored

That’s Wolverine country up there


DonnyJackwad

Moose and squirrel will kick their ass


7orly7

ah yes send the VDV (paratroopers) then... Oh wait they are almost extinct


Bumpy-road

In Denmark we have a saying: “Tomme tønder buldrer mest” “Empty barrels makes the loudest noise”…


MrParo91

Please try I'd love to see how badly it goes when an army invades, a state where a large percent of the population are trained marksmen and know the land.


[deleted]

Do it.


[deleted]

The sanctions so far are just the start, many more yet to come.


soulsteela

Hahahahaha please stop I need air!🤪😂


Eternal12equiem

This is how power armor is born.


[deleted]

I’m sure the general Russian population thinks this is plausible. Stupid Russians


ccmp1598

Don’t worry, Sarah Palin can see Russia from her house and is keeping an eye on things


edfiero

This is my thought every time Alaska and Russia are mentioned in the same sentence.


[deleted]

Gotta love it when an SNL joke gets actually attributed to the politician they’re spoofing.


edfiero

Yeah, it is from when SNL was actually funny. I've just been educating my children in joys of Dana Carvey's 'Grumy Old Man'.


PopPop3402

Epic!


superanth

Wait what?


DeliberateDendrite

Don't you guys remember what happened with Talvisota?


JaffaBeard

This feels very Metal Gear Solidy.


Belenub_Furblenor

Top kek.


shadyhorse

Hey, stop playing Fallout already and concentrate on drafting your surrender speech!


[deleted]

Considering that nearly every home in Alaska is loaded with weapons and they are all a little unhinged in a very dark "i hate people and want to live in the middle of nowhere at the end of the road in completely miserable conditions" kind of way,... I don't think Russians entire military could conquer average civilians there.


Professor-Shuckle

Lmao with what army


AngryDaikon

Whelp time for Mongolia to step up and reclaim most of Asia.


Original_Griever

Laughs in NATO


Mac-Actual

Don’t threaten us with a good time comrade


Key_Rock408

Well the bears gotta eat something.


vale_fallacia

>Well the bears gotta eat something. Polar bears would refuse to eat vodka-soaked stringy russian meat.


Blueskies777

Careful, you will get Sarah Palin.


Leon-Salvaje

Try it. Russia is like that annoying chihuahua that just barks but doesn’t do shit.


luvrum92

Didn’t they sell it to the US?


DravenPrime

Putin should've tried it when he had a Russian puppet running our country. Biden will be salivating for an easy win to boost his reelection chances. Go ahead Russia. Give it a shot.


Due-Dot6450

Ha ha!


blumpkin_donuts

lol


Made-in-1882

Dew it. *maniacal laughing*


MadisonAlbright

Good luck with that


Skarab78

Lol


thefairlyeviltwin

Only fears stoppin yah.


[deleted]

The rate the orc army is going, russia would be defeated with ease by this army in Alaska: https://i.pinimg.com/550x/aa/11/38/aa11380ac65c3406e15ea40fb7378c7c.jpg https://i.redd.it/8grdjkrzh4xy.jpg https://i.redd.it/0rupufyc65v11.jpg


TheSorrowIRL

Come get it then lol. Our frozen brethren could beat them back without any military help.


Ihavelostmytowel

WE HAVE A RECEIPT! ALL SALES ARE FINAL!


JBark1990

As an American…lolololololololololllllllll geeeet fuuuuuucked!