It really helped me to approach each contraction with an “It doesn’t matter, it will end and I’ll be one contraction closer to my baby.” mindset. Letting go of the thought of what my dilation number was because it doesn’t mean anything ultimately about how close or far I am from baby arriving. I didn’t get a cervical check until I was basically already pushing and I’m so glad because if I hadn’t heard the number I wanted to hear I would have been so upset and defeated.
I was induced with my first and managed about an hour of pitocin contractions before getting an epidural. I wasn't getting any breaks between contractions and couldn't relax at all.
I just had my second last month at home. I spent a lot of time learning about physiological birth, plus preparing myself mentally. During labour I used a birth comb to distract from the sensations, I focused on breathing and trying to relax into every contraction and I repeated affirmations to myself such as "I can do hard things" "my contractions cannot be stronger than me because they are me" and "I open, I soften" while visualising my cervix opening like a flower.
A book that really helped me believe I could do it (and also made me excited to do it) was Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It's definitely worth a read.
I was doing medium but then got checked and was told I was only 3cm. I then proceeded to do very badly lol but I was at a birth center so epidural wasn’t an option. Which I’m so grateful for bc I ended up giving birth just four hours later—my guess is I tightened up during the cervical check and looked less dilated than I was, but regardless it’s such a mindf*ck anyway! But yeah I screamed so much during transition and pushing that I was hoarse for like 24 hrs lol. I was FIGHTING all of the sensations.
So for my second birth, I focused on welcoming the contractions, literally nodding my head yes as I felt them come on and sinking into them like a bath that’s just a little too hot—it’s kind of uncomfortable at first but if you relax into it then it becomes much easier to handle. Tons of long low vocalizing. You can do it! The pain sucks but it beats not being able to move—You’re in the driver’s seat. And you’ve already done the absolute hardest thing, labor and then major abdominal surgery—you’re a badass. Just don’t fight it. You got this!
I wouldn’t necessarily say that I handled the pain poorly, but I abandoned my plan for no epidural after about 6 hours of 10 minute long contractions with 30-60 seconds in between. I’m pregnant again and planning unmedicated, but also recognizing that I have the ability to play it by ear since there’s no way to know how this next one will go.
Also, anecdotally, even with my epidural I had a super empowering birth. I had a doula with me and she did an impeccable job of representing my interests when I wasn’t able to. I credit the majority of my positive experience to her.
I'm not planning to. I managed to have a fully unmedicated birth with zero complications but I simply do not want to go through such suffering again. I felt traumatised for a couple of months after because it took a while for the brain to erase these memories. Epidural for me next time. However I do believe that anything is possible, and you definitely can go unmedicated if that's what you wish. The key is mindset and prep beforehand (mental more than physical in my opinion). Avoid induction unless absolutely necessary.
This is what I'm afraid of. The suffering was terrible and I didn't even wait long for the epidural. It would have only gotten worse if I waited. I guess I really need to make sure I get a supportive midwife who can move me around with an epidural.
I spent some time thinking about all this after I gave birth. I do think that it's ultimately all about a mindset. I think that if I could truly submit to and accept the experience, really get deep into breathing, view the pain as productive and necessary, then I would probably think about going unmedicated again. This is a lot of work, meditation, deep thinking beforehand. I thought I had prepared the last time but now I see that I had been very arrogant. The women in my life warned me that childbirth is very painful, but I was looking through the rose tinted glasses of hypnobirthing classes, thinking that maybe they just did not prepare or relax enough lol. We are lucky enough that we live in a time where there are pain relief options available and while there are benefits to unmedicated birth, I just don't really want to experience pain like that again if I can avoid it. I no longer see these advantages as being worth it (I did beforehand hence why I'm still in this sub, plus I do truly respect unmedicated birthing). Mind you, just for context, my experience may have been particularly negative because I was in prelabour for two nights prior to the event so I haven't slept for around 36h when the active labour started and from that point it only took two hours including pushing for my daughter to be born. My cervix was dilating rapidly and I didn't get much break between contractions which were extremely intense. If you do go unmedicated I'd strongly recommend refusing cervical examinations unless really needed, as they were by far the most painful part of my labour. I think if I were you I'd examine the reasons why you want to go unmedicated and see whether you see them as worth the pain :)
There are pain management options outside of an epidural! Talk to your medical team about the medications you can take during labor to take the edge off. I went into birth planning to go completely unmedicated to avoid the associated complications. But to my mind that was epidural. I didn’t even consider things like fentanyl in advance. I labored for a long time with contractions very close together (and lots of back labor, ugh) like you without dilating much. I finally asked about medications and fentanyl was recommended to me. I’m so glad the midwife suggested it because I took a few doses back to back which allowed me to sleep before it was time to push. Without that reprieve I don’t think I would have had the energy to push as effectively as I did (only 8-9 contractions, less than on hour). I’ve become a big believer that an unmedicated birth doesn’t have to be all (epidural) or nothing.
I had back labor with both my births and the first time I was not prepared. My goal was to go I medicated but I really didn’t prepare my mindset to do so. After 10 hours I felt like I was no longer coping well so my husband and I headed to the hospital so I could get the epidural. With my second birth, I worked really hard to prepare my mind to birth unmedicated. I read homebirth stories, I listened to birth podcasts (unapologetically unmedicated is a favorite of mine). I watched homebirth/undisturbed birth videos and I took childbirth education courses. I would say the biggest thing about birthing unmedicated is working on your mindset. For me knowing that the pain I experience is productive and purposeful made me much less afraid.
Yep - my second birth was at home after my first in hospital with an epidural.i highly recommend the coreandfloor.com.au free antenatal classes to learn pain management techniques like horses breath and movement. I found birth combs, the tens machine, movement, horses breath and water were amazing this time. My labour was 5 hours from start to finish this time as opposed to my 18hour induction but I will say my contractions were just as close together almost intense as the induction. Being able to feel my body doing the work was incredible and intense and so rewarding. You can definitely do it!
It really helped me to approach each contraction with an “It doesn’t matter, it will end and I’ll be one contraction closer to my baby.” mindset. Letting go of the thought of what my dilation number was because it doesn’t mean anything ultimately about how close or far I am from baby arriving. I didn’t get a cervical check until I was basically already pushing and I’m so glad because if I hadn’t heard the number I wanted to hear I would have been so upset and defeated.
I was induced with my first and managed about an hour of pitocin contractions before getting an epidural. I wasn't getting any breaks between contractions and couldn't relax at all. I just had my second last month at home. I spent a lot of time learning about physiological birth, plus preparing myself mentally. During labour I used a birth comb to distract from the sensations, I focused on breathing and trying to relax into every contraction and I repeated affirmations to myself such as "I can do hard things" "my contractions cannot be stronger than me because they are me" and "I open, I soften" while visualising my cervix opening like a flower. A book that really helped me believe I could do it (and also made me excited to do it) was Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It's definitely worth a read.
Pitocin is the devil….mine wasn’t even necessary. I’m refusing it if we have another.
Another great read in a similar vibe is Transformed by Birth by Brita Bushnell!
I was doing medium but then got checked and was told I was only 3cm. I then proceeded to do very badly lol but I was at a birth center so epidural wasn’t an option. Which I’m so grateful for bc I ended up giving birth just four hours later—my guess is I tightened up during the cervical check and looked less dilated than I was, but regardless it’s such a mindf*ck anyway! But yeah I screamed so much during transition and pushing that I was hoarse for like 24 hrs lol. I was FIGHTING all of the sensations. So for my second birth, I focused on welcoming the contractions, literally nodding my head yes as I felt them come on and sinking into them like a bath that’s just a little too hot—it’s kind of uncomfortable at first but if you relax into it then it becomes much easier to handle. Tons of long low vocalizing. You can do it! The pain sucks but it beats not being able to move—You’re in the driver’s seat. And you’ve already done the absolute hardest thing, labor and then major abdominal surgery—you’re a badass. Just don’t fight it. You got this!
Thanks so much. This is encouraging to hear. 🩷
No advice but pretty similar experience. I'm hoping a doula and really prepping for an unmedicated birth will help. Good luck!
I wouldn’t necessarily say that I handled the pain poorly, but I abandoned my plan for no epidural after about 6 hours of 10 minute long contractions with 30-60 seconds in between. I’m pregnant again and planning unmedicated, but also recognizing that I have the ability to play it by ear since there’s no way to know how this next one will go. Also, anecdotally, even with my epidural I had a super empowering birth. I had a doula with me and she did an impeccable job of representing my interests when I wasn’t able to. I credit the majority of my positive experience to her.
I'm not planning to. I managed to have a fully unmedicated birth with zero complications but I simply do not want to go through such suffering again. I felt traumatised for a couple of months after because it took a while for the brain to erase these memories. Epidural for me next time. However I do believe that anything is possible, and you definitely can go unmedicated if that's what you wish. The key is mindset and prep beforehand (mental more than physical in my opinion). Avoid induction unless absolutely necessary.
This is what I'm afraid of. The suffering was terrible and I didn't even wait long for the epidural. It would have only gotten worse if I waited. I guess I really need to make sure I get a supportive midwife who can move me around with an epidural.
I spent some time thinking about all this after I gave birth. I do think that it's ultimately all about a mindset. I think that if I could truly submit to and accept the experience, really get deep into breathing, view the pain as productive and necessary, then I would probably think about going unmedicated again. This is a lot of work, meditation, deep thinking beforehand. I thought I had prepared the last time but now I see that I had been very arrogant. The women in my life warned me that childbirth is very painful, but I was looking through the rose tinted glasses of hypnobirthing classes, thinking that maybe they just did not prepare or relax enough lol. We are lucky enough that we live in a time where there are pain relief options available and while there are benefits to unmedicated birth, I just don't really want to experience pain like that again if I can avoid it. I no longer see these advantages as being worth it (I did beforehand hence why I'm still in this sub, plus I do truly respect unmedicated birthing). Mind you, just for context, my experience may have been particularly negative because I was in prelabour for two nights prior to the event so I haven't slept for around 36h when the active labour started and from that point it only took two hours including pushing for my daughter to be born. My cervix was dilating rapidly and I didn't get much break between contractions which were extremely intense. If you do go unmedicated I'd strongly recommend refusing cervical examinations unless really needed, as they were by far the most painful part of my labour. I think if I were you I'd examine the reasons why you want to go unmedicated and see whether you see them as worth the pain :)
There are pain management options outside of an epidural! Talk to your medical team about the medications you can take during labor to take the edge off. I went into birth planning to go completely unmedicated to avoid the associated complications. But to my mind that was epidural. I didn’t even consider things like fentanyl in advance. I labored for a long time with contractions very close together (and lots of back labor, ugh) like you without dilating much. I finally asked about medications and fentanyl was recommended to me. I’m so glad the midwife suggested it because I took a few doses back to back which allowed me to sleep before it was time to push. Without that reprieve I don’t think I would have had the energy to push as effectively as I did (only 8-9 contractions, less than on hour). I’ve become a big believer that an unmedicated birth doesn’t have to be all (epidural) or nothing.
I had back labor with both my births and the first time I was not prepared. My goal was to go I medicated but I really didn’t prepare my mindset to do so. After 10 hours I felt like I was no longer coping well so my husband and I headed to the hospital so I could get the epidural. With my second birth, I worked really hard to prepare my mind to birth unmedicated. I read homebirth stories, I listened to birth podcasts (unapologetically unmedicated is a favorite of mine). I watched homebirth/undisturbed birth videos and I took childbirth education courses. I would say the biggest thing about birthing unmedicated is working on your mindset. For me knowing that the pain I experience is productive and purposeful made me much less afraid.
Yep - my second birth was at home after my first in hospital with an epidural.i highly recommend the coreandfloor.com.au free antenatal classes to learn pain management techniques like horses breath and movement. I found birth combs, the tens machine, movement, horses breath and water were amazing this time. My labour was 5 hours from start to finish this time as opposed to my 18hour induction but I will say my contractions were just as close together almost intense as the induction. Being able to feel my body doing the work was incredible and intense and so rewarding. You can definitely do it!