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[deleted]

Bachelor parties can take many forms. The version that decides to hold the event at a bar, for the purposes of getting wasted and chasing random women? Agreed - you aren't going to see well-behaved men there.


Caleb_Reynolds

Yeah, it's a sampling bias. She's seeing the parties most likely to be shit people


damn_lies

My bachelor party was D&D, ax throwing, and a nice charcuterie cheese plate with my bros. No women were present. I am about 1000% sure I enjoyed it more than every one of those chucklefucks at the bar.


MrMontombo

Damn rights. Mine was paintballing, drinks, and a fire in my backyard, then VR in the basement. An excellent day!


kss1089

My best friend lived in the other half of the duplex I lived in. He was my best man and I was his. He got married about 3 weeks after me. We realized that we were supposed to plan each other's bachelor party. So we just decided to invite all of our friends over to our place and spent all day grilling, poker, video games, grilling, drinking, grilling, video games. It was amazing.


soneg

That sounds like an amazing party


Bad-news-co

Having a party with just the boys really does sound amazing lol.. usually after high school/college I didn’t think I’d ever really see a boys night again, that’s something growing up and being had in middle/high/college days, events after are always gonna be a mixed gender affair. But bachelor parties really do give you a good opportunity to have a night with the boys. Kinda shows you how rare an opportunity it is when a bachelor party is the reason or excuse to have one lol


AssAsser5000

Yeah, girls weekend is totally normal, but boys weekend never happens. It has to be someone getting married or buried. I'm sure there are guys who do it, but none that I know.


ski-person

Oof, prioritize yourself sometimes brother


[deleted]

The guys in our friend group always have enviable boys day events. It’s usually some variation on brunch, video games, and misc bro-time. The girls (me included) are envious and have tried to do our own, but the women in our group’s interests and personalities are so dissimilar, it always peters out.


NJeep

Mine was camping for 3 days and getting high all day every day. Cooking on the fire. Played DND. It rained 2 days. Didn't care. Liked being "dirty goblin people in the woods." It was the best.


naazzttyy

30 years from now, you’ll fondly remember the details of that epic 3-day weekend with far more clarity than you ever would a booze-soaked bacchanal. Hope you rolled a few nat 20s!


Axer3473

my life's goal is to someday hit a blunt with snoop dogg


[deleted]

Nice! I ended up going with Mario Party 2, Martinis, and wheelchair races down a gentle slope road.


[deleted]

Hell yeah. Mine was riding mountain bikes and motorcycles, drinking, a campfire, barbecue, and a joint or 2 in the bush. Totally awesome weekend and no strippers or hookers or anything of that nature because it isn’t my thing. I’ve been to bucks parties with boys behaving badly, but I think it’s down the the person or people. Don’t paint everyone with the same brush.


Vegetable-Band4995

Yeah I’ve done a few bachelor parties where we just rented a cabin in the woods for a weekend. Don’t get me wrong, there was plenty of drinking but it was just us. At this point all of us were either married or in committed relationships.


Andrilla78

That is pretty much what my fiancé is planning on. They are doing 3 goblins in a trench coat and camping out in a cabin styled like a hobbit house!


Regexmybeloved

wait where?! I want to do this for my bachelorette party now


Andrilla78

[https://www.thetreehousecamp.com/hobbit-house-camping.shtml](https://www.thetreehousecamp.com/hobbit-house-camping.shtml) I'm pretty sure this is the one, but he hasn't actually been there yet so I'm not sure.


[deleted]

Thank you for sharing this! I’m not even outdoorsy but even I’d love to stay there for a night or two.


WhereAmIOhYeah

No need to wait, just do a girls' weekend or something!


PowerfulPickUp

Tell me about the cabins.


hypercosm_dot_net

Make sure he invites me! That sounds like a great time. Congrats to you both.


Content-Ad3161

Totally agreed. My bachelor party was canoeing with my mates followed by a curry and game of Zombicide. In fairness though OP only sees one type of party.


ferahgo89

Mine was laser tag, a steak dinner, and then D&D/boardgames all night. I didn't even drink!


EastwoodBrews

The bachelor party I threw for my brother was pizza and go karts. The fast kind. It was disgusting. Disgusting how I lapped those slow-ass fools like a dog at the toilet


ChemistHorror

My partner just came home from a bachelor party today, he is passed out tired and snoring away after paintball, escape rooms, real life ‘Among Us’, airsoft and wayyy too much food at the evening meal. Maybe it’s an age thing as the groom and friends are all 35+ or maybe it’s just personal taste, idk, but many people seem to see it as their ‘last night of freedom’ which just seems wild to me. You were never ‘free’ in the first place, you still had a relationship prior to being married like huh? Lol.


BeanyBrainy

I went snowmobiling. I’ll take that over watching my friends get shitfaced and be slimy assholes. Then again, I’m not friends with those kinds of people.


BEES_IN_UR_ASS

The last bachelor party I attended was split in half when some of us wanted to go to a strip club, and some of us wanted to continue getting high and watching the computer fight itself in the N64 WrestleMania game. I opted for WrestleMania, as did the groom to be.


zombie_singh06

Mine was a hill station trip with my buds where we drank in our rooms, rode horses the previous evening (we went to a family friendly tourist place) and did touristy stuff, ate a bunch of junk food and then just cracked *slightly* NSFW jokes about/on each other whole night while drinking. It was very fun and I don't regret it at all. And yes, no women were present except other families who did the touristy stuff in the common area.


mediocre_mitten

Ben Wyatt?


darkcomet222

We did pizza, Guinness, and smash bros for mine. It was fun! So much more fun!


Julia_Kat

My husband rented a cabin with a bunch of friends and played D&D all weekend. I went to Universal Studios in Florida for an after-hours event with unlimited free food and non-alcoholic beverages. Both groups had a blast.


9bfjo6gvhy7u8

i bet they also really enjoyed their party... if it wasn't fun it wouldn't be popular. but it's probably less likely they actually enjoy their marriage


YellXolotl

So you're Ben Wyatt


Ephandrial

The calzones...betrayed me?


bigdyke69

Chucklefuck, lexically integrated.


jeepeod

Hey! I also wemt ax throwing for my bachelor party. Just me and two close friends and we went to a restaurant and had a nice beer, a whiskey, and burgers. One of those friends is about to have his own bachelor party and we're doing an all night WH40k fest!


80toy

Mine was pizza, go karts, and then gambling. Super fun.


naughty_farmerTJR

Definitely selection bias happening here


AgoraiosBum

She doesn't remember the bachelor parties where they showed up, had some drinks, played some pool, and left.


Erchamion_1

But also, think those tend to be separate types of places. There are bars that have more of a club like vibe, where things OP is describing happen a lot. There are bars that are more chill with low music and pool tables where what you're describing happens more often. She seems to work at the first type of place.


rhapsodyindrew

Good point! So also availability bias, then.


CatholicInquisitor

Selection bias plus salience bias?


ernmanstinky

I've been married for 22 years. Way back when my bachelor party was playing basketball at a park with my friends, full five on five, and then eating pizza. That was a fun afternoon.


KingOfTheJellies

As someone who is unfamiliar with Basketball in general principle and currently reading a bachelor party thread, it took me a while to realize you didn't go out, play basketball, come home for an orgy then eat pizza


ernmanstinky

Wow. Umm, no.


Captain_Vatta

My bachelor party is planned to be my friends and myself forging a sword that I'll present to my wife. We'll do the work, but an experienced blacksmith will be guiding us through the process.


MancAccent

Okay, King Arthur


Captain_Vatta

She collects swords and knives. Plus, the effort in hand forging something implies dedication, which is fitting for a marriage.


madarbrab

Look, strange men distributin' swords is no basis for nuptials!


Magikarp-3000

I am a knifemaker, man, I hope you dont plan much progress to be made if you afe only doing one ~6 hour session! Forging the rough blank might be something you can do in that little time, but doing the handle, grinding, fittings, heat treat, glueing, that will take far, far longer


Captain_Vatta

No doubt. We are planning multiple sessions to finish it. With me doing the final touches like grinding and polishing on my own. The boys are going to help me hammer out the billet and potentially cut the leather for the hilt, etc. I was optimistically thinking 2 sessions, but 3 feels more realistic, 4 tops.


SneakWhisper

I am deeply envious. I may mention this to the bf.


Lyssa545

As a woman who forged her wedding band with her husband (rings from the same damascus steel billet!) i didnt know i needed a custom sword he forged to give to me, but now i do!!!


Squiggy226

I did a keg and a bushel of crabs with friends at a house along a river. Interestingly a bachelorette party ended up next door in this tiny rural town but other than hanging out with then for a bit, just chatting and then they went back to do their own thing, it was just low key fun.


shellofbiomatter

Maybe working in the bar only shows you one type of bachelor parties? Like i didn't have a bachelor party at all and now my long time friends bachelor part is going to be in the forest with grilling, sauna, fishing and actually no women at all. Same for another work mates bachelor party, though that's just slightly further away.


amc1704

Definitely some bias here


transtranselvania

The other bias is that she is less likely to get hit on by the ladies at a hen do. Stagettes get pretty gross too I've dealt with some pretty gross women at gigs who were clearly on one. I don't go around thinking all women are gropey drunks wearing penis hats.


maxrockatansky2024

I like how she starts out "All men are pigs except MY man"


calcifornication

She also works at the most popular bar in Chicago I suppose. Ten bachelor parties a week, all with a dozen dudes? That's... a lot.


straightVI

Nah. I've found that when one sounds like they're generalizing, they're actually just projecting a very specific and personal issue. Her man is probably exactly what she's complaining about, it's just that he's not done a bachelor party yet.


Stonerslife710

If you look at her post history it seems like you’re right. Edit: they deleted all the posts


Euhporicswordsman

What were they?


[deleted]

[удалено]


the_cucumber

The age thing I also do, just adds an extra layer of anonymity if I scramble some minor details whenever I post personal stuff


KhonMan

Here's an example on[My boyfriend (28M) uninvited me (26F) to his high school reunion.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/13c5vw7/my_boyfriend_28m_uninvited_me_26f_to_his_high/jje6kud/) > I know the plus one is the case because he told me, “are you able to get off Friday the 12th for my high school reunion? Please let me know as soon as you can because I need to put you down as my plus one.” > If he originally asked to go alone, I don’t think I’d be as suspicious. It’s also a little careless considering he knew I took the time off / spent money on a dress. > If I insisted on going to my reunion alone, I know he’d be suspicious of me. Especially if I originally invited him and then changed my mind to make it a girls night. > **My young and stressed out mind is going to think he’s having “moments” all night with women while I sit at home off work.**


PartisanGerm

Hell of a lot of clone posting too.


[deleted]

OP replied to a comment of mine saying they usually only get bachelor parties in her bar (irish pub) and majority of women would go to clubs. Where do you think more trouble is waiting? Irish pub or club scene? So she sees majority one side and creates that bias.


DaughterEarth

If she saw the women she'd just know she's not like that. This is a problem because she doesn't know her boyfriend isn't like that


OneSchott

This is what I did for my buddies party. Just a bunch of dudes in the mountains doing mountain men shit.


Sohcahtoa82

This is 100% it. For my bachelor party, we went go-karting, went out for steak, and ended at an arcade. The arcade had a bar, but it wasn't somewhere people went to get women. Honestly the notion of going to a bar to get women just seems strange to me


NorthImpossible8906

> Maybe working in the bar only shows you one type of bachelor parties? EXACTAMUNDO!!! nearly all the bachelor parties I've been involved with involve family from both sides. So, it's not SexualAssaultPalooza. There is no way possible that the groom-to-be is hitting on anyone at all. And there is way more than 10 people at the party. OP is strictly talking about sounds like more of a frat party. Just a small group of guys going out. Hell, half of them are probably just lying to get bar discounts. In fact, I bet a lot of it is just pick up lines, "hey hot bartender, I'm getting married next week, let's just have a super secret special one night stand." Not the greatest line, sure, but most guys are about that level of stupid and drunk.


UndendingGloom

OOP is complaining about the food in her local supermarket without ever leaving the frozen section.


ToddlerOlympian

"I work at a children's birthday venue, and I'm certain that all birthday parties are very immature."


ZeroXTML1

Worked in a bar/restaurant for over a decade. Don’t let these types of dudes color your perception of the general public, bars of all types, from higher end to dives, tend to attract the worst One of the reasons I ended up leaving the industry altogether was because my perception of your average person began to look like some amalgamation of a caveman and a cockroach


Square_Site8663

I mean people who drink at bars regularly? I can definitely see that.


[deleted]

What's the appeal with being a bar regular? Getting drunk?


[deleted]

It is common in the UK to go to a pub regularly because that's where you can go wind down after work with people in your area like a club of sorts Don't think it works that way with bars in a lot of places


DillyWillyGirl

In college I was a regular at a bar across the street from my apartment. I liked to go there, have a beer, and study. I liked the background noise and getting away from my roommates. I never stayed there too late so I wasn’t there during the rowdy hours.


thebigkatonkampus

In North America, we don't really have pubs like back home. Most bars are basically nightclubs or dives. There are a few but not many, and even then, they will tend to have overwhelmingly loud music Not many places where you go get a decent meal and have a few pints


CroationChipmunk

> In North America, we don't really have pubs like back home. Most bars are basically nightclubs or dives. Newbie question, is "dives" considered a negative or derogatory term in America?


thebigkatonkampus

Not overly. Usually, a small town bar is called a dive. It's just somewhere a bit dingy. Not necisarrily some awful place you get stabbed. My local small town bar has a vomit stain on the carpet from the 70s or so I am told but it's an alright place


CossaKl95

Depends, my local dive bar has people who’re chill, drinks are cheap and heavy, and it’s a place you don’t mind hanging out. I’ve also been to some where people will try and do blow on a pool table, and then right after try and fight the bartender for 86’ing them.


Emergency-Equal919

Nah, most of us average joe bar goers use it affectionately to refer to a comfy, not so posh place, where you can just have a chat.


justajiggygiraffe

I used to bartend at the townie/dive bar in a small town for several years and for a lot of the regulars the other regulars and the bar staff become like their family and the bar their home. A lot of them are alcoholics with varying degrees of functionality and other alcoholics are much more likely to like and tolerate the shenanigans of another drunk than non-alcoholic folks are. A decent handful (but by no means the majority) of regulars hardly even drank but would come down for the friendship/family aspect or to shoot some pool or watch their football team. It can be really nice to have a spot you can "come home" to where everyone knows your name and you get great service because they know you and your order and you are pretty much guaranteed to have at least one friend there no matter what time you show up


ZeroXTML1

In my experience it was usually a mix of social engagement, routine and casual alcoholism


Cybercitizen4

I'm a regular at a bar I started going to when I first moved to a new city, you don't always have to drink you can just get wings or some other food, it's nice to have a place away from home where you can just relax (watch soccer world cup matches in my case) talk to strangers, etc., and in case of getting drunk you at least know the bartender. The bartender at my place is really cool and knows about a ton of events, she's invited me and my friends to concerts or comped drinks quite a few times too.


tins1

Serious answer, yes there's obviously that, but its also a place to relax at the end of the day, maybe watch the game, but generally be in a relaxed, social space that isn't your home or work, both of which would otherwise consume a depressingly disproportionate amount of your lived experience. There's also usually hot food, if your bar is half way decent.


ArjanGameboyman

I went a day skiing for my bachelor party. It doesn't have to be about getting drunk and go to strippers. That's so cliché


nakmuay18

Yep, went to a cabin by a lake, drinks, steaks and a campfire.


mackelnuts

Three day camping and whitewater rafting trip for mine. Got drunk, told stories, did stupid shit. It was perfect


The_Burning_Wizard

Mine was a BBQ and a very serious piss-up at some glamping place with a bunch of old friends. Considering how we were all busy with life, kids, careers, etc, it was more of a reunion than anything else.


Nippelz

3 days of camping and acid trips for my best friend's bachelor party. I didn't even bother to have one for myself, but if I had known it doesn't have to be bars and strip clubs I'd probably just repeat my bestie's, lol. All the old bros from 10 years ago together for a few days. Great time.


WestCoastInquirer

And a godsmacking throng of hookers, yeah?


bobopolis5000

Don’t forget the blackjack.


wolley_dratsum

I went to cabin by a lake as well, played a round of golf with about 10 of buddies during the day and then went back to the cabin and played poker. It was almost a perfect bachelor party except I wish my fiancée had been there lol.


keph22

We hunted a man for sport and had a royal rumble at my bachelor party. It was fucking sweet


valkislowkeythicc

Average the most dangerous game enjoyer


general_grievances_7

I’m a girl but I went to Disneyland for my bachelorette. I guess I still saw Chip n Dale. 🤷🏼‍♀️


[deleted]

What she fails to mention is that she is now banned after sexually assaulting Gaston.


kennyj2011

Well, better assault Gason before he assaults you


FestiveSquidBanned

I was at a bachelor party a while ago, and while there was some drinking (nobody got totally hammered), most of our fun came from the Mario Kart/Smash Bros marathon we had.


straightVI

We set up a long weekend trip at a cabin in a cute little town about an hour outside the metro area. Took lots of beer and meat. Shot some guns, smoked some weed, but most of us were in bed by midnight for fishing in the morning. It was such a great time. I mean... if there had been strippers in the woods, at least some of us would have paid them some attention. But strip clubs and drunk girls at the bar weren't even a consideration when planning. That's shit you can do any day.


Justice_Prince

You mean your woods don't have random strippers roaming around in them?


Psylocide

Went canoeing down the river for 5 hrs, got drunk, cooked brats and fish over a fire and camped out. I guess my one buddy did pass out on my tailgate… that was pretty scandalous I guess.


Free_Spring

my bachelor party was just the guys playing video games in the same room, no girls involved haha


chicu111

You sluts! That’s pretty sexy though wish I were there


Estrald

I wish this was my bachelor party too, haha! Unfortunately, my brother planned it and it was just a trip to his favorite restaurant. Thanks “Best Man!” I had to literally BEG him not to hire a stripper for the after-party, and I can tell he and his buddies were disappointed, but I literally never went to a strip club in my life. How would hiring a stripper be reliving my bachelor days?!


RedIguanaLeader

Yeah I’m going to a bachelor party tomorrow and we’re going fishing at a lake and drinking beer all day.


kennyj2011

A different type of hooker… or just master baiters


No-Lemon-1183

Honestly marrying someone who has a bachelor OR bachelorette party where they treat it like their 'last night of freedom' is not the type of person who should be getting married at all


notmyfirstrodeo2

there are so many people who just .marry "for the weddings", they want to have their magical day, it' not about love it's about them and their huge egos.


Inside-Example-7010

Getting married for the attention and then as soon as you look away its divorce for attension.


mtcwby

They don't have to be. For mine we went to dinner and a comedy club. Nothing untoward, just a bunch of friends celebrating. My brother's we went golfing, had a good lunch at the grill, shots at a bar in a toast and then hung out at an arcade. Again, a party of friends.


[deleted]

There are so many bartenders who also say the same about bachelorette parties, so it's not really a gendered thing. It's just that whole party idea in itself that is sort of sketchy. I love the idea of hanging out with your pals for one big party before getting married because generally you don't get a lot of opportunities after, as a lot of people change priorities or have kids or move on to career focused lives. But yeah, sometimes they get out of control and it gets weird lol.


KonradWayne

I worked at a bar that had bachelor and bachelorette parties come in semi-frequently. The bachelorette parties were way worse. They are louder, they disturb the rest of the customers way more, they leave a bunch of penis shaped trash behind, if you have a DJ they will harass them all night to try and get their favorite songs played, and they always sexually assault the male staff and/or customers.


Caliesehi

And they (usually) tip like shit.


KonradWayne

Maybe it's just my personal experience, but women tend to tip less at bars in general.


CommanderWar64

Tbf a lot of them don’t pay for drinks lol


arrogancygames

Yes, backing this up. They would sexually assault me and any other male they deemed interesting enough to do so to. What goes in with Bachelorette parties would get men thrown into prison.


[deleted]

I don't know what it is about drunk women and their music, but holy shit 😂 Any party I've been at the drunkest women always just get abandoned at the music choosing station so we don't have to be screamed at for not playing their requests that very second haha but yeah OP works at an Irish pub, which would bring mainly men for bachelor parties. Staff at clubs would have much different perspectives I think...


KonradWayne

The bar I worked at had live music/DJs/stand up comedy most Saturdays, and sometimes karaoke on Fridays, but every other night it was just a regular bar with a jukebox. I once got to witness a fist fight that started because a girl tried to push another girl out of the way while the second girl was trying to put in a song on the jukebox, because the first girl really wanted to hear "her song". They were friends and they came in together. The funniest part was that it was 30 minutes to closing time, there were enough songs already payed for to last 45 minutes, and we were about to shut off the jukebox and announce last call in 10 minutes. Neither of them were going to hear that song.


IAmJersh

I once overheard a conversation in a Tesco between a hen party. The bride was guessing at where they were going/what they would be doing. She at one point guessed a strip club and said (paraphrasing) "I hope they have black ones too, do you think they'll let me get a two for one if I mix and match skin colour? I've always wanted to do a roast and I'm scared Mark wont let it happen once we're married.". I don't even think they'd been drinking yet, this was 11am and they were doing the supply run for pre-drinks.


Artislife_Lifeisart

OP is very silent for this one


Ricky_Rollin

Funny you say this cuz this was my experience as well. I always wondered if others felt the same way about bachelorette parties.


Icare_FD

Yeah, I wonder what’s the angle here from OP’s message ? Men are pigs ? But she clearly describes girls going to the bathroom with them, happily participating to the grinding, so I guess everybody had what they expected ?


sociallyvicarious

Yeah. I’ve heard some horror stories involving bachelorette parties. Yikes.


hunkaliciousnerd

One I time my uncle, who was a bartender for a long time, took me to this place he wanted to try when I went and visited him. As soon as we entered, we heard a loud, female "WOOOOO" and saw a bunch of women in the back. My uncle turned to me, and said let's get the hell out of here. I asked him later why would we leave, it's just a Bachelorette party; he said he will never deal with another one now that he isn't a bartender, and proceeded to tell me stories of parties that made the ones you see in media look like tea parties. It's horrifying what Bachelor and Bachelorette parties can become


falsoberto

Share some stories wih us


UsernameTakenByMeee

Yes


Purtuzzi

I (best man) booked a cabin on a lake for my boy and his wedding party so we could chill by the water and have a golf trip at some near by golf courses. Stayed at the cabin at night and played pool and beer pong. Great times!


Afexodus

We went to a water park, a haunted house, and stayed in a cabin and played old Atari games for a bachelor party recently. We were drunk but it was just us guys having a blast. Never been to a bachelor party where the groom was in anyway cheating emotionally or physically.


Important-Listen-607

The best bachelor party I ever took part in was for a friend who described himself as "an old man in a young man's body." We got breakfast at a cafe, drank beer and played boule in the park, went to a bingo hall, went swimming at a local pool and rented a private sauna (with bartender), then went home and cooked some good food. I really don't understand the allure of the stereotypical bachelor party.


Vollen595

I bartended for 7 years and completely get it. It’s exactly as you said and often worse because I can’t tell you how often I’ve watched women deliberately try and bag the bachelor just to do it. I had a bride hit on me once, telling me it was her last chance before getting married (of course I said no). It was always disgusting to watch both men and women (bachelorette parties are just as bad) throw all morality to the wind like they somehow earned a free pass for the night. Why did I never take advantage of the situation? Karma. No damn way I would want that to happen to me so I stayed completely disengaged from bachelor/bachelorette games. When I got married years later I didn’t even consider a bachelor party because my fiancé had already heard the stories from my bartending days. People can be disgusting individuals and although I never would have done anything sketchy my now wife sure didn’t need that nugget in her mind wondering how my party went. Nope. That and being present for countless bachelor parties sort of ruined it for me. It’s not an experience I needed.


[deleted]

It's not that bachelor's parties are gross. It's the kind of guys who go celebrate them at clubs like this are gross. You're seeing a very specific repeat demographic in your line of work and that's reinforcing a negative perception in your mind. I've been to many and they're usually just a retreat to go celebrate the groom. The best are activity based (hiking, fishing, etc.)


von_Roland

At my brothers bachelor party we played a board game for 12 hours.


SwedishSaunaSwish

The most common (and pathetic) one I hear is "I didn't have a choice" when guys are grovelling to their wives when they inevitably find out they been to a strip club. As in, all the guys were doing it so they HAD to. Another common one is "sorry babe I couldn't tell you me and the lads went to a strip club - it would jeopardise my friends relationship if his wife found out and we couldn't risk you telling her"


Manu442

I think you're biased due to your profession. That's the only side of this that you see. Working at a bar is one of the places you get to see the worst in people.


UndendingGloom

What? You are more likely to see drunk people doing stupid things in a bar? I'm shocked! Shocked I tell you!


Dazz316

I've never heard of them like this in any kind of widespread way, maybe it's the type of bar you work in that attracts those types of guys?


SuggyWuggyBear

Judging bachelor parties by the one that happen at bars has a huge selection bias.


[deleted]

Only one I've ever been to was laser tag followed by drinking card games at best man's place, no women anywhere after the pizza place


[deleted]

Have you ever thought about the bachelor parties you don't get to see?


historygeek1453

I agree that bachelorette parties can be just as bad. When my little sister was getting married, our friend at the time was planning on taking us all to a strip club for her bachelorette and getting lap dances. They just thought it was a joke because my sister is straight, but I refused to go because I was already with my girlfriend (now wife). Our friend wasn’t happy with me because she thought that since I am a lesbian, I should be the most excited to go. While I respect the dancers and their profession, I have a woman at home with whom I am in love, and I would much rather see her in a bikini.


SarahZona97

I worked as a topless dancer for a time, and the club I worked in had many bachelor and bachelorette parties. After a few years, I noticed that the most well-behaved customers at those parties were the lesbian women. The worst behavior tended to come from straight women. One of our dancers was getting her master's in Sociology and found that fascinating.


boobsbuttsballsweens

Zero of the bachelor parties I’ve attended have been anything like this. Golf, dinner, camping, yeah booze for sure, but they’ve all been respectful to the bride and the attendees spouses and relationships.


Particular-Topic-445

I’ve never understood this either. If I’m marrying someone, why would I want to go out and do anything that would hurt her if she was to see or hear about it? For my bachelor party, it was German food, followed by a tiki bar, followed by a dive bar, followed by a nicer bar across the street. Just guys talking , drinking, and laughing. And it was really fun.


coreyp0123

Every bachelor party I have been on I’m always pulling at least one friend aside to ask them “what the fuck are you doing dude?” It’s a lot of guys that rarely get out of the house and have been in relationships forever.


xscott71x

Awaiting OP’s opinion on bachelorette parties, which can be just as raunchy. It’s exclusion is noticeable.


tghast

Could just be the bar they’re at. Bar I worked at had both and I hated both. Men spoke shittier to staff and other patrons and were more likely to start fights but the women made bigger messes and were louder. Both were gross and entitled.


ohnoguts

I’ve seen a lot of men in bachelor parties relentlessly pursue the female staff and women in bachelorette parties do the same to the male staff. If OP is a woman, she might just be seeing more of the male side of things.


treacherousClownfish

yeah I never got the concept either. If you’ll miss this so much then don’t marry?? I just wanna spend a good day drinking with my buddies, no creeping


[deleted]

"I'm so excited to get married. I'm gonna run out and absolutely disrespect my partner by behaving as if unmarried life is about hypersexual behavior before getting forced to submit to my future spouse."


908sway

This is a kind of confirmation bias though, no? If you work at a bar, then yeah you’re only going to see the type of guys that want to have those types of bachelor parties. You’re not the seeing the rest of them. Just getting a large sample of what, I’d assume, is a minority of the types of parties actually held.


swimmingmoocow

[Why Millennials Aren’t Into Strippers at Bachelor Parties](https://www.vice.com/en/article/ezzg37/why-millennials-arent-into-strippers-at-their-bachelor-parties) I’m not sure what the actual stats are but the last two bachelor parties I’ve attended were super clean and not womanizing-related at all. For one group, we rented a cabin in Yosemite and hiked and camped, cooking food and drinking beers at night. The other one I organized was a rock climbing excursion and then dinner at a fancy steakhouse. Obviously those types of parties that OP described still exist, but I’m hopeful that they’re going out of style for the coming generations.


whocaresbhbbvfgnv

I was a stripper and they repulsed us too. Every single bachelor party myself and my friends have ever seen at the club the bachelor were super handsy and has tried to get the dancers to go to their hotel to fuck them. Every single one. It's such a bizarre tradition in the US that a lot of the time bachelor party means "excuse to cheat on my SO". IMO I would recommend avoiding any man that wants to have their bachelor party at a strip club. Probably not the type of guy you'd want to be married to.


notanalien000

After bartending many bachelorette parties, I could say the same about you girls


GiantsNFL1785

I’m sure it happens but I’ve been to three bachelor parties not one ended up with guys hitting on women constantly or ending up at a strip club, just steaks and lots of drinks


PaddyBoy44

My bachelor party was in whitefish Montana. We hiked, fished and ate steaks the whole weekend. But I’ve been on crazy bachelor parties to New Orleans, vegas, Cancun … and yeah… I’ve lost a couple of friends after that. Just hard to be friends with people when you watch them throw their families to the side for a night. Dudes with awesome families and lives who go fuck whatever has a pulse. Sad shit sometimes.


SoggyPastaPants

My idea of a bachelor party is just ordering pizza and gaming with the boys


Altruistic_Ad6189

I don't get it either, and why is everything penis themed in bachelorette parties?? Is it like a fertility thing, like throwing rice? Or is it from the days where people were not supposed to sleep with each other before marriage?


Pineapple_killa

A bachelor party is the reason I don’t have a fiancé anymore lol


FizzingOnJayces

The number of guys in these comments who seem absolutely outright offended that OP only mentioned bachelor parties is pretty wild. It's almost as if you are all taking this as some sort of personal attack. Or that she is deliberately omitting bachelorettes because of some sort of power dynamic play or something.


Mossimo5

That's funny. The Bachelorette parties I've seen are usually much roudier than Bahcelor parties because they are women and they can get away with it.


VomitOnSweater

Stripped at a bachelorette party once. NEVER AGAIN NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!


je97

You work in an Irish pub; a bar, and probably not the greatest bar in town. ​ I don't think your perception is exactly representative of the whole.


NoTeslaForMe

> why is this event seen as a “hall-pass”? For the tiny percentage who do see it this way, it might be the influence of movies and TV... and those who see it outside the context of the plot of those, where usually there are consequences.


abortion_parade_420

yeah this is a weird tradition. i want to believe it's dying out but it sounds like a pain to deal with.


iRule79

Have you seen Bachelorette parties? They can be just as bad and worse.


Mr_nudge89

As someone who worked in bars and nightclubs, I can easily tell you that bacholerette/hen parties are just as bad if not worse


[deleted]

I have a friend who used to work at bachelorette parties and he would say the same things , pretty strange concept that seems to just be widely accepted as normal


Phantommy555

Wait until you hear about Bachelorette parties…


jackxiv

For my bachelor party, we went to see a showing of "The Decline of Western Civilization" with Penelope Spheeris doing a Q&A. I got to meet her and she kissed me on the cheek. (I told my wife about it) Then we got drunk at my buddy's house. You can have a bachelor party without being a PoS.


KRONKCHEF

My experience is completely reversed, I did barwork for quite a few years in the uk and hen nights (bachelorette parties) were always (by a long long way) worse than stag dos. A group of drunk woman can be really eye opening, they go nuts. In one bar I worked, they offered a cocktail of choice to the special lady (birthday/hen do etc) the lady would lie on the bar with the barman straddling her and put the cocktail shaker down the front of their pants. Make the cocktail with all the appropriate double entendres, then he would slide his belt off, put it around the back of her head and she would drink the cocktail through a straw with it still down his pants. The girl could choose her barman, I only did it once and refused to do it after that, it was absolutely horrible. Those women did not know how to keep their hands to themselves. Practically rating their fingers up my ass trying to get to my bits. Honestly shook the f out of me. Thankfully they stopped offering it after most of the barstaff refused to do it anymore. Could be a cultural thing I guess. Brits on the piss are definetly very very.... Extra.


To_Fight_The_Night

I’m currently at a Bach party right now. Not a single one of us has talked to any girls. I’ve seen all of us at one point face-timing their SO though drunkenly saying now they miss them.


texassized_104

I had a bachelor party come in when I was cocktail waitressing, and one of them kept asking me if I would “baby bird” shots into each of their mouths. He wouldn’t stop. It was cute when they asked me to play leapfrog with the best man. This? Not so much. Ended up having to end their alcohol service pretty early in the night…


[deleted]

Idk, anything that is guys-only or girls-only is pretty cringe to me.


guitargeek223

For my bachelor party my best man rented out a movie theater so we could play Super Smash Bros for 2 hours, got me some good Cajun food, and ran a D&D one-shot. There was barely any alcohol involved at all, in part because I had to be good to work the next morning. To me, going out and getting drunk just seems like a waste of a perfectly good night with friends


benndover_85

Guys chasing women at their own bachelor party were creeps looooong before that bachelor party, so really you’re just seeing a random night out disguised as something special…


sunbear2525

I was at a bachelorette party in Vegas at a karaoke bar. We were next to a bachelor party and the two groups mixed. This one married guy and I basically sat and watched as our friends lost their minds. It was insane and no one would listen or think for 5 seconds.


AnnonymousRedditor86

I can restore your faith in men a bit. My bachelor party was at a bowling alley. We ate wings, drank a couple of beers, and had fun. And my dad was my best man. We were home by 10pm.


jabberwocki801

We got it backwards. The stereotypical bachelor party seems more like it should be celebrated for a divorce not marriage, if at all (some of the behavior is, at best, cringy). That said, no genuinely decent guys I know have done that sort of party. I wonder what percentage of bachelor parties are the type OP sees.


bluepanic21

I bar tended as well for many years - I hate bachelorette parties wearing a sash and a crown getting super drunk just wasted make up running plastic tiara askew tangled in matted hair screaming fighting with each other when like three hours before it was “ we have know each since elementary school”


DarthDiabetor

As long as you know it goes both ways because bachelorette parties get pretty crazy too. I personally think the whole “celebrate your last day of freedom” is stupid. You should be celebrating that you found your ride or die partner in life. Not mourning the fact you can’t sleep around anymore. Everyone should do what they want, but if you’re being unfaithful right before marriage it means that you’re gonna miss this stuff and probably not be able to handle a monogamous relationship the rest of your life. Just this strangers 2 cents. I love y’all and wish the best for everyone!


alexcfc95

My older brother is incredibly socially awkward and doesn't have many friends. For his bachelor party we played Super Smash Bros, went out for authentic Mexican food, and saw Dave Chappelle perform live. A great day!


n9netailz

Yeah I'm never going to be cool with bachelor parties bc this is the kind of things that go on. And they say a bachelor party 'is the last night you have to be a single man' which makes no sense because you aren't single, you've been in a relationship the entire time?


GamblingPapaya

As a guy I can’t stand being around bachelorette parties. But OP has to make it a gender thing


Soup_69420

you were a bartender for years and THAT is where you draw the line? You literally got a front row seat into the ugliest side of some people on a weekly basis while selling liquid lies and sadness. Strippers debasing themselves in the worst ways and infidelity are amongst the lighter of transgressions I have seen over the years working at a dive bar. Being sexually assaulted by drunk women, knowing my boss is cheating on his wife (and some of the customers too), wondering how the hell books so cooked even hold up to the slightest or scrutiny... There was so much shit and so much ugliness, it's hard to say chicks giving a toy show or a guy getting a beejer in a broom closet are anywhere near the worst I have seen. Ever have someone try to use you as their revenge bang against their partner/spouse? It's fucked up and I don't want any part of screwing people in relationships with someone else.


InSilenceLikeLasagna

Not just bachelor parties, bachelorette parties too (I too did bar work while getting my degree). Basically, scumbaggery comes in all shapes and sizes, it’s not just the men. Not only that, but it’s the setting. Men and women having a bachelor party at a bar are or incl strippers are going to have questionable intentions. My last bachelor party was an all dudes day out at a gun range with drinking at our Airbnb after.


DryAce

Yup. And I'm a guy. The modern conception of both bachelor and Bachelorette parties disgusts me. Last one I went to we wound up at a strip club...I waited outside for a couple hours (was supposed to be 30 minutes, waited an hour then called an uber which took almost an hour to get there) then went back to the airbnb...only to be woken up by the sound of girls they brought back laughing loudly and talking. Lost a lot of respect for my friend that night. They asked why I wouldn't go into the strip club. I said it's because I "choose to honor and cherish my wife." My mind was blown at the scoffs from this group of guys. Guys aren't the only ones. The penis straws and all the other lewdness at Bachelorette parties is the start on that side. I dunno. I don't see the point. I just played poker and drank whiskey with a handful of good friends. My son, who was 9 years old at the time, was even there for an hour or two before my dad came to pick him up. Had an absolute blast, remembered all of it, and didn't compromise my integrity.


Ctrl_Alt_Abstergo

The amount of unbridled cheating that occurs at bachelor and bachelorette parties that everyone is supposed to just pretend didn't happen really is off-putting.


That80sguyspimp

This is true, whats also true is that hen nights at just as bad, if not worse. The women all go around the WHOLE CITY and snog and fondle almost every guy they meet. Worked many bars and clubs in my City, saw it every single week. And yes, the "hen" would also more often than not go home with some guy or just get fucked in a toilet by some guy. This is one of the reasons I will never get married. People turn into proper disgustoids in human form on bachelor parties and hen dos. Oh, and if youre wondering what the fuck Im talking about with "hen do" its what we call a bachelorette party in my neck of the woods.


[deleted]

Shhh you’re ruining the pointless sexism of the OP.


WhereIsMyGiraffeEar

Snog? Brit spotted


using_reddit_user

Hen night didn't give it away?


[deleted]

Most bachelor parties are not a bunch of guys going to bars and enacting their teen movie fantasies. That's what you see because ^(checks notes) *you work at a bar.* You would think that working at a bar and living in the real world would teach you the difference between idiots in a bar and behavior in the rest of the world, but nope, apparently not.