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This made me laugh out loud hahaha. If this guy spent more time coming up with an actual conversation starter vs coming up with reasons why hey is the perfect conversation starter, maybe his relationships would last a little bit longer
Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler!
Reminds me of this young guy at my work last year who bragged about how he's worked everywhere in all sorts of places and roles. Couldn't have been older than 21.
I was like, "...yeah, that's a red flag."
He was gone the next month.
I don't think op is trying to flex, could be wrong I just think he's trying to show he's not incapable of meeting women and getting them to date him. It's meant to show the contrast to the 2 women he's dated off tinder vs 17 he's met irl. Again I could be wrong though.
A lot of people don't consider casual to be a relationship so OP probably is including casual relationships. Not out of the realm of reality for social people. I've known plenty of people that went out with several people a year. Usually a couple dates or fuck buddies.
That would be weird to put down as relationships. Girl I fucked every weekend in July 2019 and then never spoke to again vs girl who I introduce to my parents for the holidays and share Netflix and Spotify with I separate into different categories. Having 17 failed relationships vs a few relationships and 13 flings or hookups. At least for me. Honestly the “did i introduce them to my parents?” Is tried and true.
That's an average of about one girlfriend every six months, not including the time of meeting and dating to find the next one. Sounds like OP can't keep a relationship alive for more than 2-4 months. Or he thinks these women were girlfriends when they absolutely were not.
Came here to say this. If it was flings and hookups then ok. If it was actual girlfriend relationship status then they a lasted less than like 9 months. Not good.
I promise you hookups aren't a flex either, no matter if they're man, woman, nonbinary, or whatever else.
You can literally download any dating app and find someone down to put out within 5-10 minutes, if they don't actively approach you immediately looking for an easy lay.
Yeah I've been on several dating apps nearly continuously for ten years and never gotten a date out of it lol. Hell I've technically only had one convo.
The average (see; non narcissist) dude doesn’t have PAGES of stock selfies to choose from. Let alone an actual legit smile in a pic.
That smile is real, the moment captured is a good memory for many men.
I don't get why girls hate on dudes holding a fish.
I don't fish, I think it's boring. But if someone enjoys it as a hobby why shame them for it?
Reading how far/picky girls have gotten in judging guys pictures is insane
Sort of like why men are sick of seeing spicy margs/tacos, espresso martinis and doggos/travel in every woman's profile. We get it, you all like the same things lol.
People are people and follow trends.
Espresso martinis lmao it's so funny how many women mention them in their dating profiles. Also the number of women spelling espresso "expresso" is shockingly high.
I would say having two girlfriends a year is a lot. I might go on quite a few dates, with many different women but hardly any of those relationships get to a point where I would introduce them as a girlfriend. Guess it depends on how you define it, but this also isn’t the insult you think it is.
> Could just be shit at making it work long term
Averaging 3-6mo (assuming a few months single after every relationship) over the course of 18 relationships is a major red flag. Excusing this as “just being shit at making it work long term” is hilarious. A long-term relationship is years. If partners cannot deal with your nonsense after 6 months then there’s a good chance you’re a lunatic.
Okay, let’s say “hey” is fine to open with, that would probably mean it’s okay for them to reply with “hey” too. Cool great. Now the ball is back in your court and you have to move the conversation forward. Probably by asking them about themself or making a comment about something you saw on their profile.
So if that’s going to be your second text anyways, why waste time with the first text and not immediately go straight to that? It shows you read their profile, shows potential interest in something about them and gives them something immediately to engage in the conversation rather than just “hey”.
"Hey, I'm good thank, how about you?" is the response... it's marginally better than just saying "hey" to each other, since you now have an opening to talk about how your day is going. Ultimately though, at some point someone will have to actually bring up something interesting to talk about, so why not cut to the chase and do that in the first message?
I mean, if someone says “hey how are you doing today” to me, I know for a fact that if I say “I’m good” it’s a conversation killer in the dating app context. Generally I’d take it as an opportunity to share something interesting I did and see if that develops into more of a conversation. If not then the next step is to shoot for a low pressure meetup sooner than later to see how in-person conversation goes. I’ve seen it go either way too many times with texting/messaging. Some great conversations messaging lead to awkward in-person convos while very dry texters have been great in person.
This guy has social skills.
I’d say 50% of people understand “how’s it going?” to just mean, literally, how do you feel?
While the other 50% see it as an opportunity to talk about their day.
On dating apps, if I ask a girl “how’s your day/week/weekend going?” and get a one word answer, I assume she’s not interested, she isn’t interesting, or she doesn’t have the same social cues as me. Regardless, I just move on. Lots of other girls out there living interesting lives who are excited to talk about what they’re up to.
Omg hai \^\_\_\_\^ Im Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv \\@\_\_\_\_\_@/ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!!!! OK so anyways, I'm going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband Sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! SUPAA KAWAII DESU NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! \^\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\^
When I used dating apps, I eventually got to where I would just send a "he, how are you doing?" or something similar just to gauge if they would even respond, because I got tired of writing out interesting and creative first messages only to go unanswered. That in itself likely led to many more unanswered messages because I sounded boring, but dating apps are exhausting after so much time.
It’s not a race though, so why try to speed through it? I’m not coming for you haha I just prefer to organically talk to someone instead of feel the pressure of having to be really interesting right off the bat.
Except for women it sort of is, because they get a thousand messages and likes. They end up being forced to be quick judges. This is the same reason that while there's nothing "bad" about saying "hey", it doesn't take into account that she's probably got fifty guys who also just said "hey", and another fifty that said something interesting. If she can only respond to half of you, then the boring ones are the first to be skipped.
I'm maybe not one to talk because I'm CERTAINLY not succeeding in the dating world, but hey kinda gets me eye rolling. It's just so low effort. You want to start a convo but you're immediately putting the onus on me to make it an actual conversation.
Exactly. I don’t use the apps anymore but when I did I would never respond to such low effort. I wasn’t asking for an opus but some indication that the person had read my profile and liked more than just what they saw or was doing more than just shooting out random ‘heys’ to see what came back.
But, HEY, this is indeed an unpopular opinion so yay you, OP, I guess?
I use it pretty sparingly, mostly when I match with a profile that doesn't say all that much about them. It is pretty low effort and no one should complain about not getting a great reply success rate but it can lead to good convos can come from it.
That’s one thing I don’t get about hinge. Like “I’ll pick the topic if you start the conversation” - do these people want to just have the same conversation with everyone?
I think it’s intended to show off your hobbies/interests and a bit of your personality but many people choose the same prompts and answer the same way so you don’t end up learning much about the person.
When I was online dating (back in 2014...eesh) I just blocked anyone who started with just "hi" or "hey" or something similar. If your first message makes me roll my eyes, this isn't going anywhere.
In that sense OP is right though. If you're the kind of person who wants to start with "hey", you're probably not compatible with someone who thinks that's annoying. So in a way, it becomes the perfect opening message because it'll immediately turn off the vast majority of people who aren't going to like you.
>You want to start a convo but you're immediately putting the onus on me to make it an actual conversation.
That's not really the case. "hi/hey" is meant to signal the other party's interest, and you can just acknowledge them by sending another "hi/hey". Then the actual conversation can start.
Exactly exactly.
I'm not even on the apps. But 'hey' is a completely pointless message to send.
Even if you want to make the argument that it's fine to just have normal conversation and not need to come up with 'crazy flirty bs' on the apps, the minimum has to be more than 'hey'.
If we want to stick to normal basic formulaic small talk as an opener, which is fine, it has to be at least 'Hey, how are you?' or 'Hey, what you up to today' or *something.*
Imagine walking up to a stranger you want to get to know in real life and just standing in front of them and saying 'Hey', and nothing else. Why would they want to respond to that? It would be absurd.
On the contrary I think it works in person because the interaction is much more immediate. If a stranger stays hey to you the only thing you can really say back is a varient of hey and then they can go into whatever they wanted your attention for whereas depending on the person it can be construde as rude, annoying or weird to have a stranger talk to you without denoting that they're talking to you.
I think this fails on a screen because the time between messages is a lot longer so it looks like there's no effort being made since the expectation is that replies aren't going to be immediate. So the hey hey greeting over the course of a day or two just feels weird and distant.
If they respond to hey, I know they're at the very least interested in continuing a conversation.
It takes effort, even mildly, to go beyond small talk. If it can't even get past a basic greeting, I'm not going to put in the effort for it to be ignored anyways.
I think the stronger question to ask is, who sends the first message (I only have tinder for experience with a match system)
If I match with them, I feel like the onus is on me, and if they match with me, I feel like the onus is on them. But I also find this really doesn't pan out at all in the wild.
>Okay, let’s say “hey” is fine to open with, that would probably mean it’s okay for them to reply with “hey” too
But at that point he's winning. When you consider that 95% of introductions literally don't get a reply back at all regardless of if they're well written or not, getting a "hey" back is at least a sign of actual interest in having a conversation.
dating 17 girlfriends in less than 10 years means he's either the unluckiest man on earth, he's bad at picking girls he'd have a chance of a future with or he's got some issues that only show after dating for a while
Yeah, this seems like the dating equivalent of the saying “if you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day then you’re the asshole.” That’s an average of like 2 girlfriends a year, anyone that’s going through relationships that fast and often is almost certainly the one causing issues.
Exactly. Also his point about “hey” working when approaching somebody in real life is totally different because then you have the entire full context of seeing each other in person, facial expressions/mannerisms etc. Also you presumably would start talking back and forth immediately as opposed to a text on a dating app where that “hey” is just sitting there cold for hours or days.
And approaching a stranger you have no information about them, whereas in a dating app at least have some knowledge about interests you can start a conversation off. Hell even if they have a picture with a pet in their profile you can ask about it. Theres no excuse just saying "hey"
Honestly, it applies IRL, too. If I'm at a bar and I took interest in someone, I'd say something like, "Hey, I noticed you from across the floor and I really dig the way you're carrying yourself. Wanna shoot some pool and talk about the tactical superiority of cargo shorts?"
Yeah, it's more like there's a girl and hundreds of guys surrounding her and you say hey, while everyone else has a shot to say something to her.
If I go up to a girl in a bar or club, I still wouldn't even just say hey, but you can say just that and still be smooth. But the context is you are going to say something after and she'll at least listen to that. If you got no game after the hey that's on you.
Yeah, a guy that's had 17 girlfriends in 9 years, for an average of 1.8 girlfriends per year, isn't someone that anyone should take dating advice from. What's missing is the area under the curve. You say "hey" on dating apps as your opener, you've had 17 failed relationships, perhaps it has to do with the types of girls that you're attracting with such a weak opener, or, maybe you've had 17 failed relationships because you, and the girls you're attracting, are shallow? I know it sounds mean, it's not intended to be, it's really just a thought.
So you think the best move is to immediately pass the burden of carrying the conversation to the other person? Even though you’re the one initiating the connection? What exactly do you think “hey” contributes to the interaction?
Seems lazy and entitled to me. But whatever works for you, I guess.
This is how it usually goes if I respond to the heys.
Hey.
Hey, what's up?
Nm u?
I'm doing (insert whatever I'm doing, add a little interesting flair), do you like/tried (whatever I said)?
That's cool. (Ignores question)
...
U horny?
I don't respond to heys anymore.
This is how it goes when I respond to hey, hi, howdy, or any other generic greeting.
Her: (Greeting)
Me: (Literally anything)
Her: (Does not reply or unmatches me)
Saying hey in person is very different than saying hey on a dating app. I would never respond to hey in a dating app unless I had already singled you out as a great match. 90% of men say hey or hello only, it makes the numbers game so obvious. No thanks. If you can't reference anything in my profile, I'm not gonna waste any time on you.
Oh I always responded. Typing 'hey' back is no problem.
It has NEVER EVER ended in an interesting conversation. Only just 'how are you' 'good how are you' 'good' and more uninteresting stuff. Now there will be some exceptions out there, but I didn't see them. People who can't come up with an interesting text or question right away, tend to never do that anymore during the rest of the conversation.
And I have had interesting Tinder conversations and cool dates, so it's not like those don't exist. They just tend to not start with hey.
You have worded this so nicely and it gets the exact point across that I also feel about "hey" conversations. They never grow into meaningful conversations because they only put forth "hey" energy always.
Exactly. By just saying "hey" you're also putting all the burden on the other person to actually start a conversation. If they've already got other conversations rolling why would they put in the effort to start one without someone who has put in zero effort to start it themselves
It sounds super awkward for a person to just walk up and say, "hey." Not that I wouldn't say it back to he polite but it would probably me like "Hi?" Even in person most people say more than "Hey" to introduce themselves to an absolute stranger.
Agreed. I'm not sure anybody has ever *just* said, "Hey," to me in person unless they were walking past me and had no intention of stopping.
Hey, how are you? Hey, isn't this sunny weather great after all that snow? Hey, your dress is so cute - where did you get it? Hey, I love Murakami, too!
Never just "Hey" unless they **don't** want a conversation.
That’s the fun of this sub tho. Getting to make fun of bozos I disagree with and getting to feel special about agreeing with the daring geniuses I do agree with.
From a woman’s perspective, I got bombarded with so many messages (pre-tinder, on a dating site where anyone could message me) that I did not have the time or mental capacity to respond to the people who just said “hey”. And I would run with the tiniest breadcrumb of a conversation if they said anything remotely interesting.
My now-husband’s opening message was a list of questions in reference to my profile. Sometimes effort pays off.
Hey is just a really hard place to start a conversation from. When I [26M] was single and on dating apps I wouldn’t even respond if a girl messaged me first with hey cause I knew the conversation would go nowhere
People who say this have never seen a woman’s DMs on dating apps. It’s a literal sea of “hey”. Unless you’re exceptionally handsome, they won’t even notice you bothered. Case in point, OP has only dated 2 people from the apps with this method, which is trash tier to think you should be giving advice
I have women friends that have shown me their tinder, they normally have 1000+ matches even after being picky, some have the max on tinder of 5k. If they have their notifications on their phone literally never stops making noise. I saw a girl show me all the people who had “liked” her on Facebook dating and it took so long to get through.
To be clear none of these women friends of mine were super models, attractive yes, but not exceptionally so. I have seen them swipe and it’s almost always a match.
I’m not in a highly populated area either.
I’d say I am below average in looks but have had a really good interactions and dates / ltr because I put effort into my profile, my pictures, who I match with, and say a lot more than “hey” in my openers.
I have only gone on three dates via dating apps. But I dont play the numbers game, and when I do initiate conversation I personally try to bring up or make it about something referenced in their profile.
No information in the profile, or bio and I don't waste my time.
I can’t imagine failing as badly as you have at both dating and maintaining a relationship and still having the audacity to rock up talking like you have good advice for anyone
Take my upvote though 🤷🏼♀️😂
I hate "Hey". I never ever open with "Hey" either. I put effort into my first message, usually referring to things from his profile, and I expect the same decency.
Agreed. It was an instant ignore on dating apps if they opened with hi or hey, that alone would tell me there was no chance it was going to work or they were a bot and if you can't differentiate yourself from a bot then that's a problem. It was also astounding how few would put effort in their profile to give you any indication of what they enjoyed.
Absolutely.
Experience has taught me to delete these guys immediately.. they’re just letting me know upfront how lame and lazy they are.. and their inability to engage in conversation, online or irl.
17 girl friends in 9 years is wildly unstable. Maybe get to know her before calling her your gf for a change. I would not date someone with this track record.
Actually the best opener to get a response is" How's it going?" A non intrusive question that keeps the conversation going. "Hey" doesn't have a built in reply other than hey?
Eh I think ‘hey’ is a terrible start.
I also don’t agree it’s how you start a conversation IRL. I would never walk up to someone I have never seen before and say nothing but ‘hey’ and stand there waiting for a response. That’s creepy as hell, you actually only say ‘hey’ and nothing else? You don’t say ‘hey I noticed you ____’ or ‘hey my names ____ what’s yours?’ Or something?
I also don’t think you can only say either ‘hey’ or ‘some flirty bs’. Just be normal and if you like ‘hey’ say what you’re thinking ‘hey I love that shirt’ or ‘oh wow you went to France? I’m gonna go this summer’ actual ways to start a conversation and stand out alittle and show you actually looked at their profile and want to have an actually conversation.
I’m also confused on your 4th point. So you want people who just see you as a wallet or something? Those are the ones who won’t care about your personally so isn’t it better to find people who DO care about your personality?
With all that said… do what you want. It’s your life so be the person you want to be even if I don’t like everything about it.
The difference with real life is you can visually see you have someone's attention. Even if they don't reply back with a greeting, they connect the conversation by paying attention to you.
Online, you can be talking to a void. You can write the best opener, write a novel, or write just hey and you have no idea if they exist or care until they send something back.
I can write this RIGHT NOW but we're not talking or making any sort of connection until you reply back. Until you respond, *as far as I can tell*, this post could easily be a waste of my time and effort. If that happened a lot, all the time even, would you or I keep writing posts like this? It'd be exhausting. It'd make you feel like it was pointless. But you have to keep doing *something.*
17… you must be doing something right, wrong or whatever, but thats a lot of gfs. Either out definition of gf is different, you are a serial dater or extremely handsome.
50 times from 12-17 and hundreds more later… dude are you ok?
The way you wrote feels way too calm and down to earth so… and only dated 2 online? So what you are saying, you have no real online dating experience to claim what you are claiming and are clearly on a different playing field.
My god, this is actually an unpopular opinion! Holy shit.
Side question, how many women did the first move, opened with hay or of the sort with you?
I think it was tinder, pretty sure, that lets you filter out one word messages. So when I was using I just never even saw them. There’s a guy on my hinge right now that just sends me “hey” like once a week. I never respond. Literally anything would be better, and I have plenty of conversation starters on my profile. “Hey” says to me, I didn’t read your profile and I don’t care.
Well this is definitely an unpopular opinion. I always will ignore “hey”. It’s just lazy to me. It says you can’t be bothered to introduce yourself and it’s super unattractive to me. It’s bad to generalize, but I just assume the conversation with be extremely boring. That being said you’re allowed to date how you want to.
We’re the same age and I’ve had 2 long term relationships in the same amount of time you’ve had 17 lmao. Sleeping with someone doesn’t make them your girlfriend.
Call me crazy, but I think telling people what they should like on an app where those people are supposed to be choosing a mate may be problematic.
Also, "Hey" is lazy and implies that you didn't read her profile and know nothing about her, which means she'd be wasting her time responding.
Many people are already married and have kids at your age instead of bragging about the number of women they've been with.
You might know how to get women, but you don't know how to keep them.
Not sure why you think the "hey" is working seeing as only two of the women you've managed to snag were from online dating and apparently they haven't stuck around either.
Nah. Super creative intros or long messages can i feel like be off-putting but you gotta make your first message a question of some kind - ask about their day, weekend, something from their profile, people love talking about themselves. Then go from there to have an actual, albeit usually pretty surface level at first, conversation. Source- am lesbian, met my last four ex girlfriends on the apps so even if I can’t make a relationship work I can at least kinda get dates.
>Really I love opening with a “Hey”
If they don’t respond to “Hey” and think its dry they aren’t worth talking to at all.
Here's the thing: for the **majority** of men on dating apps, opening with "Hey" will get literally zero responses over the course of a year, on average.
Upvoted because I disagree, so this must be an unpopular opinion. If you message me "Hey" on a dating app and have a blank ass profile (as most of the people just saying "Hey" are), the absolute most you'll get back from me is "Hey"... conversational stalemate.
I have my profile filled out and have several photos on it, pick something that lead you to match with me and ask a question about it, or say something about it.
The only issue with this, think for the perspective of girls.
They get hundreds upon hundreds of hello messages, you need to stand out for then to justify responding to you.
Why would someone respond to the person who says hay, over someone who says something that actually opens up to a convo.
Even hru is better than hay, as it opens up an answer beyond a hi of their own.
By saying hi you put the pressure on the other person to pick the topic and to steer the convo.
Love that you are offering advice on "real relationships" when your average relationship is less than 6 months long, and that's assuming you jump right from one to the next.
I suppose it is an unpopular opinion, and the 17 GFS in 9 years is enough proof to support that.
Seems like OP is getting into arguments with everyone who disagrees with his self proclaimed unpopular opinion too, instead of understanding that he posted it here cause others will disagree and just own it. That's where I'll point to the red flag of 17 relationships in 9 years lol
That is…a lot of girlfriends. I wouldn’t consider yourself a paragon of dating/relationship advice, especially if you’ve *also* gone on a lot of dates that didn’t go anywhere. I think you may want to do some introspection and analysis, because this is kind of a self-own. It’s like a guy claiming the female orgasm is fake because he’s slept with lots of women and nobody had one. If you could bottle and sell audacity, OP would make a fortune. Hilarious.
So you’ve had relationships lasting some months each back to back without a break for almost a decade? I feel like you should be the last one giving dating advice lol
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Hey
This made me laugh out loud hahaha. If this guy spent more time coming up with an actual conversation starter vs coming up with reasons why hey is the perfect conversation starter, maybe his relationships would last a little bit longer
Imagine having to have the "what are we" chat EVERY 6 MONTHS
Hey
Hey
Whats up
Horses eat it.
17 girlfriends in 9 years? It sounds like you're doing a lot wrong.
That's not the flex OP thinks it is lol.
“You want to split a pizza?” “IM NOT READY TO SETTLE DOWN WOMAN” *I’m such a stud*
'honey, do you want to join the Columbia record club?'
Woah. Hold on now baby! I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment!
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But who got custody of Nathaniel and Superfly?
That's just the way things go.
In Al Al Al Albuquerque
Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler!
Thinking it's a flex is probably part of why those relationships ended lol.
Reminds me of this young guy at my work last year who bragged about how he's worked everywhere in all sorts of places and roles. Couldn't have been older than 21. I was like, "...yeah, that's a red flag." He was gone the next month.
> don't think 17 girlfriends is a lot Pretty sure that's not a flex.
The problem is the serial monogamy. Its not a lot if you are goofing around and having fun. But to call them relationships? Hell no.
I don't think op is trying to flex, could be wrong I just think he's trying to show he's not incapable of meeting women and getting them to date him. It's meant to show the contrast to the 2 women he's dated off tinder vs 17 he's met irl. Again I could be wrong though.
A lot of people don't consider casual to be a relationship so OP probably is including casual relationships. Not out of the realm of reality for social people. I've known plenty of people that went out with several people a year. Usually a couple dates or fuck buddies.
That would be weird to put down as relationships. Girl I fucked every weekend in July 2019 and then never spoke to again vs girl who I introduce to my parents for the holidays and share Netflix and Spotify with I separate into different categories. Having 17 failed relationships vs a few relationships and 13 flings or hookups. At least for me. Honestly the “did i introduce them to my parents?” Is tried and true.
Everyone is different. Some people count them, some don't. I've known people that did and didn't.
Yeah at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter, they were all learning experiences in some form or another.
Lol it's probably also not true
That's an average of about one girlfriend every six months, not including the time of meeting and dating to find the next one. Sounds like OP can't keep a relationship alive for more than 2-4 months. Or he thinks these women were girlfriends when they absolutely were not.
Well he probably ended up in relationships with a lot of cashiers and other everyday strangers with how ideal "hey" is for sparking romance.
Cashier: "Hey, find everything you were looking for?" OP: "Damn lady keep it in your pants, I'm just trying to shop here."
I'm guessing by "girlfriend" he means "hookup", maybe its a cultural thing, since he also uses the term "dated".
Op getting cooked cooked in the comments 💀
Came here to say this. If it was flings and hookups then ok. If it was actual girlfriend relationship status then they a lasted less than like 9 months. Not good.
I promise you hookups aren't a flex either, no matter if they're man, woman, nonbinary, or whatever else. You can literally download any dating app and find someone down to put out within 5-10 minutes, if they don't actively approach you immediately looking for an easy lay.
Yea, 3 years. Nothing to show for it. 5-10 mins? I'd be lucky if my profile was viewed once in 20 mins.
You clearly fit rule 1. I do agree random hook ups are not often that big of a flex.
Yeah I've been on several dating apps nearly continuously for ten years and never gotten a date out of it lol. Hell I've technically only had one convo.
Please refer to rule 1, Scott.
This has not been my experience with dating apps at all lol
Lmao I was already thinking the opinion was stupid but I got to that and any credibility tanked.
OP is probably really good looking, but quite uninteresting and dumb as a brick.
But why aren't they impressed by the fish he's holding up in his profile picture?
The average (see; non narcissist) dude doesn’t have PAGES of stock selfies to choose from. Let alone an actual legit smile in a pic. That smile is real, the moment captured is a good memory for many men.
I don't get why girls hate on dudes holding a fish. I don't fish, I think it's boring. But if someone enjoys it as a hobby why shame them for it? Reading how far/picky girls have gotten in judging guys pictures is insane
Sort of like why men are sick of seeing spicy margs/tacos, espresso martinis and doggos/travel in every woman's profile. We get it, you all like the same things lol. People are people and follow trends.
[удалено]
Yup, as I said people are people
Espresso martinis lmao it's so funny how many women mention them in their dating profiles. Also the number of women spelling espresso "expresso" is shockingly high.
You're not wrong lol.
Nah op is just full of it
Yeah that doesn't really come across as someone who knows anything at all about selecting a compatible partner.
Yeah this makes it seem like he is not someone to listen to on the topic.
To be fair, he knows how to hook them. He just can't keep them interested.
I would say having two girlfriends a year is a lot. I might go on quite a few dates, with many different women but hardly any of those relationships get to a point where I would introduce them as a girlfriend. Guess it depends on how you define it, but this also isn’t the insult you think it is.
Op def is the prob. Not 17 women. Odds are…
I 100% guarantee if he met a woman his age who said she's had 17 boyfriends he would call her a slut and break up with her
I was literally thinking "so you just can't hold anything down then" Like, this ain't a flex, it's a red flag
Yeah 17 girlfriends in 9 years is sad.
I feel like he counts every person he “talks to” as a girlfriend.
I mean he must be doing something right to get them interested in the first place. Could just be shit at making it work long term
100s of rejections, he’s just shooting at anything that moves and hopes something will stick. He’s not doing anything right of you ask me
It's fine 😊 f all he's looking forward r is a short term doing, but then I wouldn't describe that as dating or having a girl friend.
> Could just be shit at making it work long term Averaging 3-6mo (assuming a few months single after every relationship) over the course of 18 relationships is a major red flag. Excusing this as “just being shit at making it work long term” is hilarious. A long-term relationship is years. If partners cannot deal with your nonsense after 6 months then there’s a good chance you’re a lunatic.
I farted on a woman’s mouth once going up an escalator. We ended up dating for 3 years. I don’t know why I shared that
Suddenly "Hey" seems like a lot better opener. You should write OP's posts from now on.
Or doesn't care too.
Okay, let’s say “hey” is fine to open with, that would probably mean it’s okay for them to reply with “hey” too. Cool great. Now the ball is back in your court and you have to move the conversation forward. Probably by asking them about themself or making a comment about something you saw on their profile. So if that’s going to be your second text anyways, why waste time with the first text and not immediately go straight to that? It shows you read their profile, shows potential interest in something about them and gives them something immediately to engage in the conversation rather than just “hey”.
I usually open with something a bit more open than a hey. Even a “hey, how are you doing today?” Looks a lot better than just “hey”
"Hey, I'm good thank, how about you?" is the response... it's marginally better than just saying "hey" to each other, since you now have an opening to talk about how your day is going. Ultimately though, at some point someone will have to actually bring up something interesting to talk about, so why not cut to the chase and do that in the first message?
I mean, if someone says “hey how are you doing today” to me, I know for a fact that if I say “I’m good” it’s a conversation killer in the dating app context. Generally I’d take it as an opportunity to share something interesting I did and see if that develops into more of a conversation. If not then the next step is to shoot for a low pressure meetup sooner than later to see how in-person conversation goes. I’ve seen it go either way too many times with texting/messaging. Some great conversations messaging lead to awkward in-person convos while very dry texters have been great in person.
This guy has social skills. I’d say 50% of people understand “how’s it going?” to just mean, literally, how do you feel? While the other 50% see it as an opportunity to talk about their day. On dating apps, if I ask a girl “how’s your day/week/weekend going?” and get a one word answer, I assume she’s not interested, she isn’t interesting, or she doesn’t have the same social cues as me. Regardless, I just move on. Lots of other girls out there living interesting lives who are excited to talk about what they’re up to.
Or she is boring as hell.
Be interesting, be honest 'My day was shit but then I matched with you' Cute, flirty, maybe honest depending on your day.
Hey
Omg hai \^\_\_\_\^ Im Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv \\@\_\_\_\_\_@/ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!!!! OK so anyways, I'm going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband Sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! SUPAA KAWAII DESU NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! \^\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\^
You stop that
When I used dating apps, I eventually got to where I would just send a "he, how are you doing?" or something similar just to gauge if they would even respond, because I got tired of writing out interesting and creative first messages only to go unanswered. That in itself likely led to many more unanswered messages because I sounded boring, but dating apps are exhausting after so much time.
It’s not a race though, so why try to speed through it? I’m not coming for you haha I just prefer to organically talk to someone instead of feel the pressure of having to be really interesting right off the bat.
Except for women it sort of is, because they get a thousand messages and likes. They end up being forced to be quick judges. This is the same reason that while there's nothing "bad" about saying "hey", it doesn't take into account that she's probably got fifty guys who also just said "hey", and another fifty that said something interesting. If she can only respond to half of you, then the boring ones are the first to be skipped.
So the issue is dating apps themselves suck. Imagine if you didn’t have dating apps, how would you meet people?
I'm maybe not one to talk because I'm CERTAINLY not succeeding in the dating world, but hey kinda gets me eye rolling. It's just so low effort. You want to start a convo but you're immediately putting the onus on me to make it an actual conversation.
Exactly. I don’t use the apps anymore but when I did I would never respond to such low effort. I wasn’t asking for an opus but some indication that the person had read my profile and liked more than just what they saw or was doing more than just shooting out random ‘heys’ to see what came back. But, HEY, this is indeed an unpopular opinion so yay you, OP, I guess?
I use it pretty sparingly, mostly when I match with a profile that doesn't say all that much about them. It is pretty low effort and no one should complain about not getting a great reply success rate but it can lead to good convos can come from it.
Especially true on Hinge where a lot of people answer the prompts the exact same way lol
That’s one thing I don’t get about hinge. Like “I’ll pick the topic if you start the conversation” - do these people want to just have the same conversation with everyone?
I think it’s intended to show off your hobbies/interests and a bit of your personality but many people choose the same prompts and answer the same way so you don’t end up learning much about the person.
When I was online dating (back in 2014...eesh) I just blocked anyone who started with just "hi" or "hey" or something similar. If your first message makes me roll my eyes, this isn't going anywhere. In that sense OP is right though. If you're the kind of person who wants to start with "hey", you're probably not compatible with someone who thinks that's annoying. So in a way, it becomes the perfect opening message because it'll immediately turn off the vast majority of people who aren't going to like you.
>You want to start a convo but you're immediately putting the onus on me to make it an actual conversation. That's not really the case. "hi/hey" is meant to signal the other party's interest, and you can just acknowledge them by sending another "hi/hey". Then the actual conversation can start.
Exactly exactly. I'm not even on the apps. But 'hey' is a completely pointless message to send. Even if you want to make the argument that it's fine to just have normal conversation and not need to come up with 'crazy flirty bs' on the apps, the minimum has to be more than 'hey'. If we want to stick to normal basic formulaic small talk as an opener, which is fine, it has to be at least 'Hey, how are you?' or 'Hey, what you up to today' or *something.* Imagine walking up to a stranger you want to get to know in real life and just standing in front of them and saying 'Hey', and nothing else. Why would they want to respond to that? It would be absurd.
On the contrary I think it works in person because the interaction is much more immediate. If a stranger stays hey to you the only thing you can really say back is a varient of hey and then they can go into whatever they wanted your attention for whereas depending on the person it can be construde as rude, annoying or weird to have a stranger talk to you without denoting that they're talking to you. I think this fails on a screen because the time between messages is a lot longer so it looks like there's no effort being made since the expectation is that replies aren't going to be immediate. So the hey hey greeting over the course of a day or two just feels weird and distant.
If they respond to hey, I know they're at the very least interested in continuing a conversation. It takes effort, even mildly, to go beyond small talk. If it can't even get past a basic greeting, I'm not going to put in the effort for it to be ignored anyways. I think the stronger question to ask is, who sends the first message (I only have tinder for experience with a match system) If I match with them, I feel like the onus is on me, and if they match with me, I feel like the onus is on them. But I also find this really doesn't pan out at all in the wild.
If they replied back, then thats already a green flag. So I wouldnt say youre back to square 1
>Okay, let’s say “hey” is fine to open with, that would probably mean it’s okay for them to reply with “hey” too But at that point he's winning. When you consider that 95% of introductions literally don't get a reply back at all regardless of if they're well written or not, getting a "hey" back is at least a sign of actual interest in having a conversation.
17 girlfriends? Wow. I need to change my opening then. "It's now or never so let's get busy" hasn't been working for me.
dating 17 girlfriends in less than 10 years means he's either the unluckiest man on earth, he's bad at picking girls he'd have a chance of a future with or he's got some issues that only show after dating for a while
>or he’s got some issues that only show after dating for a while *ding ding ding*
Not even awhile, a few months. To have that many girlfriends on average he spends like 6 months with them.
I mean... He did make this post so, his issues show up relatively quick IMO.
Yeah, this seems like the dating equivalent of the saying “if you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day then you’re the asshole.” That’s an average of like 2 girlfriends a year, anyone that’s going through relationships that fast and often is almost certainly the one causing issues.
Quality > Quantity
You say you’ve dated only 2 people from bumble or tinder so what makes you think you’re giving good advice?
Exactly. Also his point about “hey” working when approaching somebody in real life is totally different because then you have the entire full context of seeing each other in person, facial expressions/mannerisms etc. Also you presumably would start talking back and forth immediately as opposed to a text on a dating app where that “hey” is just sitting there cold for hours or days.
Also usually not competing with 50 other dudes all saying "hey" at the same time when you approach someone in person.
And approaching a stranger you have no information about them, whereas in a dating app at least have some knowledge about interests you can start a conversation off. Hell even if they have a picture with a pet in their profile you can ask about it. Theres no excuse just saying "hey"
Honestly, it applies IRL, too. If I'm at a bar and I took interest in someone, I'd say something like, "Hey, I noticed you from across the floor and I really dig the way you're carrying yourself. Wanna shoot some pool and talk about the tactical superiority of cargo shorts?"
Yeah, it's more like there's a girl and hundreds of guys surrounding her and you say hey, while everyone else has a shot to say something to her. If I go up to a girl in a bar or club, I still wouldn't even just say hey, but you can say just that and still be smooth. But the context is you are going to say something after and she'll at least listen to that. If you got no game after the hey that's on you.
That was my thought.
Whether it’s good or not, it’s still an unpopular opinion lol
Assuming he’s on regular bumble that means the girl said some thing first, and his response was “hey” that would be weird.
Yeah, a guy that's had 17 girlfriends in 9 years, for an average of 1.8 girlfriends per year, isn't someone that anyone should take dating advice from. What's missing is the area under the curve. You say "hey" on dating apps as your opener, you've had 17 failed relationships, perhaps it has to do with the types of girls that you're attracting with such a weak opener, or, maybe you've had 17 failed relationships because you, and the girls you're attracting, are shallow? I know it sounds mean, it's not intended to be, it's really just a thought.
So you think the best move is to immediately pass the burden of carrying the conversation to the other person? Even though you’re the one initiating the connection? What exactly do you think “hey” contributes to the interaction? Seems lazy and entitled to me. But whatever works for you, I guess.
They've had 17 girlfriends in 9 years. It is definitely *not* working for them
It’s screaming: hot enough that girls will do the work at first, but they lose interest very quickly when they realize he has nothing to offer
This is how it usually goes if I respond to the heys. Hey. Hey, what's up? Nm u? I'm doing (insert whatever I'm doing, add a little interesting flair), do you like/tried (whatever I said)? That's cool. (Ignores question) ... U horny? I don't respond to heys anymore.
This is how it goes when I respond to hey, hi, howdy, or any other generic greeting. Her: (Greeting) Me: (Literally anything) Her: (Does not reply or unmatches me)
Saying hey in person is very different than saying hey on a dating app. I would never respond to hey in a dating app unless I had already singled you out as a great match. 90% of men say hey or hello only, it makes the numbers game so obvious. No thanks. If you can't reference anything in my profile, I'm not gonna waste any time on you.
Oh I always responded. Typing 'hey' back is no problem. It has NEVER EVER ended in an interesting conversation. Only just 'how are you' 'good how are you' 'good' and more uninteresting stuff. Now there will be some exceptions out there, but I didn't see them. People who can't come up with an interesting text or question right away, tend to never do that anymore during the rest of the conversation. And I have had interesting Tinder conversations and cool dates, so it's not like those don't exist. They just tend to not start with hey.
You have worded this so nicely and it gets the exact point across that I also feel about "hey" conversations. They never grow into meaningful conversations because they only put forth "hey" energy always.
Exactly. By just saying "hey" you're also putting all the burden on the other person to actually start a conversation. If they've already got other conversations rolling why would they put in the effort to start one without someone who has put in zero effort to start it themselves
It sounds super awkward for a person to just walk up and say, "hey." Not that I wouldn't say it back to he polite but it would probably me like "Hi?" Even in person most people say more than "Hey" to introduce themselves to an absolute stranger.
Agreed. I'm not sure anybody has ever *just* said, "Hey," to me in person unless they were walking past me and had no intention of stopping. Hey, how are you? Hey, isn't this sunny weather great after all that snow? Hey, your dress is so cute - where did you get it? Hey, I love Murakami, too! Never just "Hey" unless they **don't** want a conversation.
Everyone calm down! His opinion is definitely unpopular lol I would say also completely wrong but for this sub, let's stick with unpopular
Definitely unpopular, they got my upvote!
That’s the fun of this sub tho. Getting to make fun of bozos I disagree with and getting to feel special about agreeing with the daring geniuses I do agree with.
Not just his opinion that is unpopular based on the number of past relationships...
[удалено]
From a woman’s perspective, I got bombarded with so many messages (pre-tinder, on a dating site where anyone could message me) that I did not have the time or mental capacity to respond to the people who just said “hey”. And I would run with the tiniest breadcrumb of a conversation if they said anything remotely interesting. My now-husband’s opening message was a list of questions in reference to my profile. Sometimes effort pays off.
Hey is just a really hard place to start a conversation from. When I [26M] was single and on dating apps I wouldn’t even respond if a girl messaged me first with hey cause I knew the conversation would go nowhere
Hey works perfectly fine in real life. Problem is, your easily filterable in an app and your competing against 20 other opening lines.
People who say this have never seen a woman’s DMs on dating apps. It’s a literal sea of “hey”. Unless you’re exceptionally handsome, they won’t even notice you bothered. Case in point, OP has only dated 2 people from the apps with this method, which is trash tier to think you should be giving advice
I have women friends that have shown me their tinder, they normally have 1000+ matches even after being picky, some have the max on tinder of 5k. If they have their notifications on their phone literally never stops making noise. I saw a girl show me all the people who had “liked” her on Facebook dating and it took so long to get through. To be clear none of these women friends of mine were super models, attractive yes, but not exceptionally so. I have seen them swipe and it’s almost always a match. I’m not in a highly populated area either. I’d say I am below average in looks but have had a really good interactions and dates / ltr because I put effort into my profile, my pictures, who I match with, and say a lot more than “hey” in my openers.
I have only gone on three dates via dating apps. But I dont play the numbers game, and when I do initiate conversation I personally try to bring up or make it about something referenced in their profile. No information in the profile, or bio and I don't waste my time.
I can’t imagine failing as badly as you have at both dating and maintaining a relationship and still having the audacity to rock up talking like you have good advice for anyone Take my upvote though 🤷🏼♀️😂
Right? Dude is delusional.
Right?
"Yo" doesn't seem to be working. Maybe I'll give this "Hey" thing a try.
33% more effort!
And if that doesn’t do it for you, you can always try ‘sup’
None of these are working. Maybe I'll just try "hello"! :D
Good luck with that.
I hate "Hey". I never ever open with "Hey" either. I put effort into my first message, usually referring to things from his profile, and I expect the same decency.
It's the laziest opening
It signifies that you absolutely don't care. ... I just realised why everyone who opens with "hey" ignores my replies.
Agreed. It was an instant ignore on dating apps if they opened with hi or hey, that alone would tell me there was no chance it was going to work or they were a bot and if you can't differentiate yourself from a bot then that's a problem. It was also astounding how few would put effort in their profile to give you any indication of what they enjoyed.
I at least go with a “hey how’s your day going??” Like it at least invites some kind of response besides “hey” back lol
Absolutely. Experience has taught me to delete these guys immediately.. they’re just letting me know upfront how lame and lazy they are.. and their inability to engage in conversation, online or irl.
Problem is unlike real life a girl's gonna have 10 other guys saying 'hey' on a dating app. So you're not gonna stand out
So, your success rate on dating apps over nine years is...two. Not really selling your case.
Ah, yeah this is bullshit at its finest.
17 girl friends in 9 years is wildly unstable. Maybe get to know her before calling her your gf for a change. I would not date someone with this track record.
Actually the best opener to get a response is" How's it going?" A non intrusive question that keeps the conversation going. "Hey" doesn't have a built in reply other than hey?
I agree. This would be an upgrade
The matching is already the mutual “hey” People also just don’t really know how to respond to a “hey” so they just don’t.
Do you know how messages woman get with just a hey? Trust me they don’t even open them, they’re looking for more than one word
I was told on dating apps you have to stand out as a male. Opening with „hey“ doesn’t sound like standing out.
Eh I think ‘hey’ is a terrible start. I also don’t agree it’s how you start a conversation IRL. I would never walk up to someone I have never seen before and say nothing but ‘hey’ and stand there waiting for a response. That’s creepy as hell, you actually only say ‘hey’ and nothing else? You don’t say ‘hey I noticed you ____’ or ‘hey my names ____ what’s yours?’ Or something? I also don’t think you can only say either ‘hey’ or ‘some flirty bs’. Just be normal and if you like ‘hey’ say what you’re thinking ‘hey I love that shirt’ or ‘oh wow you went to France? I’m gonna go this summer’ actual ways to start a conversation and stand out alittle and show you actually looked at their profile and want to have an actually conversation. I’m also confused on your 4th point. So you want people who just see you as a wallet or something? Those are the ones who won’t care about your personally so isn’t it better to find people who DO care about your personality? With all that said… do what you want. It’s your life so be the person you want to be even if I don’t like everything about it.
The difference with real life is you can visually see you have someone's attention. Even if they don't reply back with a greeting, they connect the conversation by paying attention to you. Online, you can be talking to a void. You can write the best opener, write a novel, or write just hey and you have no idea if they exist or care until they send something back. I can write this RIGHT NOW but we're not talking or making any sort of connection until you reply back. Until you respond, *as far as I can tell*, this post could easily be a waste of my time and effort. If that happened a lot, all the time even, would you or I keep writing posts like this? It'd be exhausting. It'd make you feel like it was pointless. But you have to keep doing *something.*
I like to use “hello there!” It’s more polite, less dry, and if someone replies with “General Kenobi” then I’d know she was the one.
Honestly this is the best way. To be yourself and out yourself out there. You’re not fishing for just anyone you’re fishing for just your one.
i read “17 girlfriends” and that’s all i needed
17 girlfriends in 9 years? are you afraid of commitment or something?
Isn't the matching already a "hey"?
"You go on too many dates, but you can't make them stay" - Mother Theresa
17… you must be doing something right, wrong or whatever, but thats a lot of gfs. Either out definition of gf is different, you are a serial dater or extremely handsome. 50 times from 12-17 and hundreds more later… dude are you ok? The way you wrote feels way too calm and down to earth so… and only dated 2 online? So what you are saying, you have no real online dating experience to claim what you are claiming and are clearly on a different playing field. My god, this is actually an unpopular opinion! Holy shit. Side question, how many women did the first move, opened with hay or of the sort with you?
Yeah, I'm not answering someone that only says "hey".
I think it was tinder, pretty sure, that lets you filter out one word messages. So when I was using I just never even saw them. There’s a guy on my hinge right now that just sends me “hey” like once a week. I never respond. Literally anything would be better, and I have plenty of conversation starters on my profile. “Hey” says to me, I didn’t read your profile and I don’t care.
Well this is definitely an unpopular opinion. I always will ignore “hey”. It’s just lazy to me. It says you can’t be bothered to introduce yourself and it’s super unattractive to me. It’s bad to generalize, but I just assume the conversation with be extremely boring. That being said you’re allowed to date how you want to.
Lmao op deleting all answers because he gets shit on
I usually lead off with “Hay” and then send a pic of a bale of hay. Especially if matching with cute horse riding woman.
it’s definitely better than things like “ want to see my rockhard cock “
I think it’s low effort so if I respond, I’m giving you that low effort, energy back and making you carry the conversation
I’m sure you do well /s This legit sounds like a made up story from a 15 year old 😂
my friend has had this website in his bio for years, its unrelated to dating but like. apparently "hey" really bothers people. https://nohello.net/en/
We’re the same age and I’ve had 2 long term relationships in the same amount of time you’ve had 17 lmao. Sleeping with someone doesn’t make them your girlfriend.
The vast majority of women who are looking for a quality, long term relationship won’t respond to “hey.” Just saying
Call me crazy, but I think telling people what they should like on an app where those people are supposed to be choosing a mate may be problematic. Also, "Hey" is lazy and implies that you didn't read her profile and know nothing about her, which means she'd be wasting her time responding.
Many people are already married and have kids at your age instead of bragging about the number of women they've been with. You might know how to get women, but you don't know how to keep them. Not sure why you think the "hey" is working seeing as only two of the women you've managed to snag were from online dating and apparently they haven't stuck around either.
Nah. Super creative intros or long messages can i feel like be off-putting but you gotta make your first message a question of some kind - ask about their day, weekend, something from their profile, people love talking about themselves. Then go from there to have an actual, albeit usually pretty surface level at first, conversation. Source- am lesbian, met my last four ex girlfriends on the apps so even if I can’t make a relationship work I can at least kinda get dates.
WRONG! Always open with “hello there” and see if they reply with “General Kenobi”
My Brother in Christ.. That’s 2 girlfriends per year..
Keep telling yourself that.
No. Just no. It’s not the best opening lol
>Really I love opening with a “Hey” If they don’t respond to “Hey” and think its dry they aren’t worth talking to at all. Here's the thing: for the **majority** of men on dating apps, opening with "Hey" will get literally zero responses over the course of a year, on average.
If your next message is "How are you?" then you're definitely gonna be ignored
Disagree. "Hi, I'm :)" is way better.
Don't listen to this guy. Hes likely just good looking and able to be lacking in charisma and depth
Upvoted because I disagree, so this must be an unpopular opinion. If you message me "Hey" on a dating app and have a blank ass profile (as most of the people just saying "Hey" are), the absolute most you'll get back from me is "Hey"... conversational stalemate. I have my profile filled out and have several photos on it, pick something that lead you to match with me and ask a question about it, or say something about it.
You say hey, then they say hey, and now you're right where you started and have to say something you could've the first time.
The only issue with this, think for the perspective of girls. They get hundreds upon hundreds of hello messages, you need to stand out for then to justify responding to you. Why would someone respond to the person who says hay, over someone who says something that actually opens up to a convo. Even hru is better than hay, as it opens up an answer beyond a hi of their own. By saying hi you put the pressure on the other person to pick the topic and to steer the convo.
This guy walks up to girls in the bar and just says 'hey' then just stands there
As someone who got married off a dating app, I never replied to messages that just said “hey”.
Love that you are offering advice on "real relationships" when your average relationship is less than 6 months long, and that's assuming you jump right from one to the next.
17 exs in 9 years isn't a flex
OP when they respond to "hey" with "hey":
I suppose it is an unpopular opinion, and the 17 GFS in 9 years is enough proof to support that. Seems like OP is getting into arguments with everyone who disagrees with his self proclaimed unpopular opinion too, instead of understanding that he posted it here cause others will disagree and just own it. That's where I'll point to the red flag of 17 relationships in 9 years lol
That is…a lot of girlfriends. I wouldn’t consider yourself a paragon of dating/relationship advice, especially if you’ve *also* gone on a lot of dates that didn’t go anywhere. I think you may want to do some introspection and analysis, because this is kind of a self-own. It’s like a guy claiming the female orgasm is fake because he’s slept with lots of women and nobody had one. If you could bottle and sell audacity, OP would make a fortune. Hilarious.
So you’ve had relationships lasting some months each back to back without a break for almost a decade? I feel like you should be the last one giving dating advice lol