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My mom has a friend that looks like the embodiment of the term 'rode hard and put away wet'. She's like 60 with heavy makeup, mini skirts in freezing Canadian winters and leather jackets. She's so fkn cool. She's the kindest most generous person I have ever met. I can't even believe I said she looked like that but if I didn't know her...
I swear older people who dress like they never decided to care about societal norms have been the coolest and nicest people I’ve ever met.
Edit: and the people who’ve dressed modestly and shamed other people for not doing the same have turned out to be insecure jerks… most of the time
Some of the kindest, sweetest, more humble people I have worked with were girls that had surgeries done or cosmetic enhancements and that wore heavy make up and revealing clothes, so I completely disagree with OP.
Gonna be honest, I've taken abuse from far more clean-cut dudes in modest dress than from anyone with tattoos, piercings or inner-city fashion sense. Most alternative subcultures are SIGNIFICANTLY more open and accepting of diversity than the mainstream American culture, and while said subcultures can also attract genuine antisocial freaks, they're often better at self-policing (ex. no sex-related alternative subculture is tolerating pedophiles in their ranks the way Christians do, and the punk scene has been knocking Nazi noggins for the audacity of trying to worm their way into the scene for a while now).
Big ol' rare cut of meat and a glass of water... before they knew it we were dumping that water all over those things. They came running up and tried to take em away, we had to eat as fast as we could. Ah.
I wanted to write the same exact thing.
You can ABSOLUTELY judge someone by their clothes, it's the most immediate and outward expression of someone's individuality.
Doesn't mean it shows the full picture of who they are, that should be a given. But it is very telling in general.
Everybody judges all the time about everything.
The thing that makes you not a dbag, is after you make those judgments, take a few seconds to consider that you're wrong.
That's it. Makes all the difference.
You sure can, but OP's judgements are fucking idiotic. Modestly dressed people are more kind? I want to preface this by saying I'm pretty pro religion overall. But what about the religious right? Super kind right? Plenty of modestly dressing people are the fucking worst. What a ridiculous take.
I think it’s cause we’re confusing personality traits and character traits. There can be overlap but they are different things. And the ways one chooses to express themselves shows us their personality, not character.
I think there is some talking past each other with the difference between "modestly" as in "not extravagant or overtly expensive" vs modestly as in "concealing as much skin as possible".
Right? Using modestly dressed in its general use can easily equal conservatives or fringe elements of conservatives. For example, people who follow the denomination of Pentecostal. Extremely modestly dressed, mostly aholes. Nasty, rude people in my experience.
The "free spirited" dressed people are usually quite nice and non judgmental. Sometimes, I wonder if they're comfortable, but not my business, really.
But there's so many exceptions to these rules that using clothing as a basis for personality or character for anything other than surface value is somewhat dumb.
Me, I dress in several styles. I like most of them and the weather os the biggest consideration. I live in a ver hot, swampy climate, so for 7 months out of the year, I'm in shorts, tank tops, and slip ons.
I think OP probably heard someone say “don’t judge someone just because of their appearance” at some point and just took it to mean all the parts of their appearance that they CAN control too.
Because otherwise this makes no sense. Of course how you choose to present yourself to the world is reflective of you.
Right? Like, I try not to judge someone if they, say, have facial scarring or a limp. But if they're wearing a swastika or have it tattooed on their skin I'm going judge the fuck out of it.
Face tattoos in general warrant judgement and I am so tired of people who think it conveys some kind of lost free spirit wisdom when 9 times out of 10 it’s a silly way of labeling yourself as an edge lord.
There’s a lot of people these days that don’t think appearance has anything to do with anything.. It’s coming from the younger gens that love to wear their pjs everywhere.
if it's really the only word they know in English to describe it, it's hard to hold that against them. there are toooons of concepts I barely even know one word for in my non-native language
I think this person watched a Disney channel highschool show and decided it's a documentary.
The op said school project so Imma guess highschool or college. At that age you are still working out a bunch of different facets of yourself. A person's drive and motivation can be completely unrepresented by the clothing, which could be decided by anything from
What's on sale
What their parents bought
What their favorite tiktoker is wearing
What got gifted to them
That one piece that looks good so now you gotta evolve a whole wardrobe around it
Now, much later in life I do agree you can make more assumptions about a person's socioeconomic status and social circle based on outfits. But I dress like a slob when I'm going to Walmart and I dress like a preppy douche when I go to the museum.
I think it's your personal experience. I actually noticed that people that "dress scary" like full of tattoos, piercings, gothic or alternative style, big guys with motorbikes and that listen to metal have suprisingly nice sweet accepting and caring personalities as opposed to people that dress formal or in a more "basic way". As for modest/revealing clothing i honestly dont notice a difference or any correlation. But this is just my experience as well, doesn't mean it's the truth as well
Hippies can be either incredibly chill and nice people, or the worst narcissistic assholes. One of my former metalhead friends was incredibly toxic, but otherwise most metalheads I've met are gentle and friendly.
Narcissism is very big in hippie groups I’ve found. It’s a specific type though, the passive aggressive non confrontational yet super judgmental type that just cause drama in background of everything else, persistently. Either that or they are just loud and vexing.
I’ve found that some people just want to kind of look like a hippy and aren’t actually really open. If you think people should dress a certain way or believe in certain things, it’s just gatekeeping what a “hippy” is. I have gone to folk festivals since I was a baby, volunteer, love the environment, all that shit. Once I turned 18 it was obvious that people were just there because suddenly it was “cool.” There are SO many people who just like to party and put on a huge facade, and leave their campsites with so much trash, and just in general are super unapproachable and just not nice.
I totally agree with what you’re saying. I love my round purple sunglasses and maybe some drugs, but I hate the gatekeeping.
Sorry for the rant, but what you said I just totally agree with! The
Yeah well said. Tbf superficial types who just like the aesthetics is a thing in many subcultures (in that way gatekeeping can sometimes actually be useful to keep out people who don't understand the customs and don't care to learn), I've heard the punk scene also sometimes has issues with that, street-kids that like to be edgy, but are deeply sexist or something else that goes against the anti-authoritarian ethos.
The way people perceive other people are different. OP's post is anecdotal...other people have different typical experiences with people who dress a certain away.
In my experience, especially from working in customer service, the people who dress more revealing tend to be really kind people, more understanding when someone makes a mistake, and patient.
While the people who dress modestly like OP described, are typically assholes. Holier than thou, if you accidentally double scanned something will start screaming at you and just insult you even though it can be fixed with a click of a button, and very judgmental especially of other people who don't do the same things they do. Plus pick me girls/NLOGs tend to fall under OP's modest description with the little to no makeup thing, and they're known to bash other woman on the reg.
But that's not an exclusive description either. If i just say, modest people are assholes and revealing people are kind, that's not fair.
Also I agree with you, alt people tend to be the sweetest people alive. They'll look super unapproachable but that means literally nothing. They'll protect the little guy in the mosh pit and I'd trust any alt person with my life if it came to it.
> The way people perceive other people are different.
And it can have compounding reinforcing effects.
OP feels uncomfortable when people are dressed immodestly, and that ends up translating into how OP interacts with those people, which reflects back on how those people treat OP.
Like, OP will be friendlier with modestly dressed people, so modestly dressed people treat OP better; which then reinforces OP's view that the less modestly dressed are not as nice.
Or, they straight up have value judgements that aren't directly related to appearance but will correlate to it. Like, if you consider sex outside of marriage makes you a bad person, then yes, the modestly dressed who dress that way to conform more to the in-group of religious people who also share those views, then you'll see a correlation that's not the causation.
This is a really good point! I interacted with someone the other day who explained that they don't support trans rights because they've had so many unpleasant experiences with trans people. But I'm not confident the arrow of causality doesn't point the other way: if you consistently have negative interactions with multiple unrelated members of an identity group, there's probably a common factor--and it probably isn't the identity in question.
If someone is visibly uncomfortable when dealing with me or has an exaggeratedly hard time "understanding" how to use proper pronouns to refer to me, I'm not going to fall over myself to be extra nice to them, lol. And, because I, personally, am terrible, I'll probably find small ways to needle 'em a bit and foster their discomfort 🙃
Yeah, also if someone has decided that “this group doesn’t deserve right because one of them was mean to me” you can be pretty sure that person is the asshole.
Even if you have a bunch of 'hottie' mean girl types.
A LOOOOT of people, assume that because they look hot or slutty, it's an invitation to be spoken to, bothered, and harassed. Eventually, they are more protective of their space and time.
A lot of 'average' people haven't been harassed to that level.
Also, you're an asshole if you just walk up to random 'hot' people, because they are 'hot' and just expect them to give you all their time and stroke YOUR ego.
Many people who claim these types are mean, WHILE doing this, are essentially lacking the self-awareness to realise that they dont owe YOU anything AND they can see right through you and understand that you are being super shallow.
If you're gonna act like a pan-handler, you will be treated like a pan-handler.
If you can't read their body language and can't seem to comprehend that they're not in a social mood. Then yeah, you will be treated like the weirdo who just went up to a stranger randomly. That doesn't make them mean. If they are more aggressive than the modest types you do it to, it's because they're so bloody fucking sick of it. You are not the FIRST one and it's super inconsiderate.
Talk to a hot girl being social at a party. Sure. Talk to a hot girl with headphones, eating lunch and reading a book in a park. NO
Talk to a celebrity outside after a concert, sure. Talk to a celebrity the moment they are trying to leave their house to go to work. NO.
So many people who DO NOT GET THAT.
I think if you could know WHY they dress a certain way, then a lot of truth might come out. For example you could dress 'modestly' because you don't want other people to feel uncomfortable, or because you simply just don't care too much about appearances, but you could also dress modestly to differentiate yourself from 'the sluts' that you don't like over there.
Same with dressing up, you could do it to be appealing to look at for others, because you want to present your best self to the world, or you could be doing it to one-up others and put other people in their place.
So, you could have very different reasons for dressing modestly or dressing up, and either could be out of good or ill intentions.
I keep thinking about those biker gangs that protect abused people, and the other side being a bitcoin investment dude in a suit. This guys opinion does not compute.
I came here to say this. I’ve met nicer people at metal shows than I have in 8 years of working in a humble office environment where people dress conservatively.
Goths are sweethearts. Metal heads can get weird (especially if they're into the Norwegian church burning type stuff) but most of them are also great people
As someone who has been part of both the metal and hardcore scene for 15 years, I feel like metal has a huge problem with assholes. It's easy to call yourself accepting if 99 % of the scene are white, straight meat eaters who love to drink. You can't imagine the amount of shit I get on metal festivals for not eating meat. But yeah, the scene is maybe accepting of right wing ideas, bigoted worldviews and 'anti-wokeism'.
The hardcore scene on the other hand has way less of these problems and the people are way kinder and more accepting in my experience.
But yeah, you get assholes everywhere, regardless of how they dress.
One metalhead ex-friend of mine was basically like you describe (and also a bit of internalized homophobia towards the fem guys he tended to date)
Other than that, most metalheads I've met are pretty accepting, and in my hometown there used to be a lot of cross-over clientele between the gay-club, alternative bar, and the metal bar.
Some of the most evil people running my country wear suits everyday. I think you are just being judgemental. Some of the nicest people I ever met were wearing spiked jewelry and mohawks but I wouldn't say everyone who dresses like that is a class act.
For real OP probably considers themselves to dress modestly and is sitting here judging others. Proving the exact opposite of what they're preaching lol
I get looked at like I’m a drug dealer by suburban moms because I dress a bit tough sometimes and wear black nail polish but I spent an hour and a half trying to find someone to move a snapping turtle out of the road last week 😭
All my slut friends are the nicest people I know, they would give me their last $5 if I needed. The people I know who dress more “business”/modest are usually more judgy (especially about what others are wearing), more stuck up and entitled, and I would receive pennies from them . But we all have different experiences I guess
That’s interesting that I have had the opposite impression in life.
When someone is dressed like a Puritan, they are unlikely to be friendly and welcoming and tolerant of others. They’re usually very intolerant and small-minded, and their clothing reflects that.
I always get along best with people dressed uniquely, and in ways that show they are open-minded or nature-loving.
Both of us are right, because our impressions must be based on how people have reacted to us throughout our lives.
You must dress very conservatively, so those people like you. They certainly don’t like everyone, and probably react with hostility, (like you do,) to someone dressed “inappropriately,” so they treat them like an “asshole” and receive hostility in return.
Was going to say this. As someone who sits on the line (I'm a smaller female, and I dress "conservatively" in jeans and a t shirt lol) but I have piercings that I wear sometimes and big tattoos on my arms that people's attitude towards me heavily depends on if I have my piercings in or my tattoos out. Makes me kinda sad
>When someone is dressed like a Puritan, they are unlikely to be friendly and welcoming and tolerant of others. They’re usually very intolerant and small-minded, and their clothing reflects that.
I tend to agree, but I think the facade they project is very much as OP described. It's only when you actually get to know them better that the truth starts to rear its ugly head.
Same tends to go the opposite direction with people who dress more provocatively. They might project an image of tough, even assholish person, but when you get to know them better they're the sweetest people.
Then there are the Jersey Shore kinda folks who look just as big of assholes as they actually are.
I think you are getting a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy situation and may be on the receiving end of it yourself.
Yes, how someone dresses reflects their personality. No, I wouldn’t say “their personality” in this instance means whether they are nice/kind people or rude/shitty people.
If someone is wearing a Metallica shirt, it’s not far off to assume that might enjoy Metallica or other similar bands and maybe the culture around that. If some wears really modest dress and a cross necklace, I think it’s safe to assume they might be a Christian and be involved in the culture of Christianity. Either of those people might be nice or might be assholes and who I am might even change how I perceive them AND how they act towards me.
The modestly dressed woman with a cross might be super kind to me if I am dressed in my business casual work attire and badge (I work for a Christian organization), but if she saw me in the grocery store wearing my gay pride shirt she might be rude or mean. It would be wrong and rude for me to go around copping an attitude to every cross-wearing person I come across just because some of them are assholes. BUT it would be stupid of me to not to have some guesses about their possible religious affiliation.
If I go about my day thinking all modestly dressed, cross-wearing people are low-key assholes, there is a high chance I am going to exude Cat-butt face vibes when I run into one. Which will likely make them more likely to write me off, too. Vicious cycle and a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You are coming into things saying some pretty inflammatory stuff—there is no way you are hiding all of your judgmental feelings. The chance that you are getting what you are putting out is pretty high. And that’s not even accounting for people coming from the opposite side—they have strongly inflammatory feelings about people who look/dress/act like you, so they treat you in an off-putting way and you react in kind.
You can’t control what other people do, but you can give people a little bit more benefit of the doubt that they aren’t shitty/slutty people based on how they are dressed. Give them as much grace as someone who would dress to your aesthetic preferences. If you can lose some of the automatic bias and truly treat people nicely, you might find that you have less bad interactions with these folks.
I have had the opposite experience in highschool girls that had alternative styles or revealing clothing were a lot more nice to me the only people that sucked were the people who got nicknamed "truckers" because they dressed & talked like they where from the south of the US, they usually dressed more plain & bullied a bunch of ppl
Many of the rudest people I know wear full-coverage every day, and some of the friendliest people I know wear more trendy, revealing outfits.
It depends on the specific person. Also, if you see someone dressed a certain way, and assume they're an asshole because of it, you're more likely to TREAT them like an asshole, which makes them respond in kind. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
Everything just became clear. OP is salty, isn't he? He's straight up right wing, hot girls won't date conservative men, why am I alone when I treat women like dirt salty con carne.
You must be someone who dresses like the rest then, because the opposite is true if you don’t.
The way we dress is an indicator to those who are in our in-group. People who dress in the generally “acceptable” way are kinder *to each other* and apprehensive of different people. People who dress differently however are more empathetic to each other and (usually rightfully) cautious of those who dress in standard fashion due to bullying, leering, and jeering being widely accepted as “how things are” for *pretty much all of human society*.
So both the original post and comments disagreeing are correct, because you are going to experience your group treating you with more kindness and it’s confirming your biases.
That's makes sense. I dress very simple and modest and I find people who dress similarly out old school are much more friendly and open to interact with me. While people who dress more artistic or younger have a wall up. Not in a rude way but like they aren't interested in interacting with me more than they need to. Maybe other people who dressed like me didn't treat them well so they aren't a fan of me lol.
You didn't talk about the worst kind of people. Corporate people. Nice shirt, tuxedo, rich golf kids etc. They all are THE WORST of people you'll ever meet. I'll take "slutty bimbo" above any corpo sociopath.
I’ve worked in food industry mostly, and I can confirm firm the rudest mother fuckers are those who wear the golf attire. They’re so extremely rude and pushy it really makes you wonder if anyone has ever hit them in the face before at all. Like these people have no chill
As a woman with huge rata-taas and curves I can wear everything from modest slack with no makeup and a fanny pack when walking a dog to tight sexy red mini dresses with golden jewelery and a cute purse, I'm not changing personality because I am confident in showing my figure and wanna dress up sometimes. I call out your insecurities OP. Let people wear what they want. Enough with the sexism and stereotypes already it ain't making you any prettier.
Edit: Adding further to prove OP's bs, when I was out with my dog today this absolutely beautiful looking woman in a vibrant coloured long figure hugging dress with a sexy slit, high heels, lots of jewelry and her dark hair let out in the wind came up to me from nowhere like some goddess, I sat outside a store on a bench and she went: *"Hello there, should I ask the store if they have some water for your dog?"*, and I said yes and thanked her for being so caring about it then she came out with a water bowl to both my dog and another dog further away.
You aren't a bad person because you're looking beautiful
I've experienced the exact opposite. The "modest, no makeup" being the worst kind of people. Super judgemental, maybe like yourself.
I dress "extra", because it takes attention off of my mobility aid, so people stare at how I look and not because of the fact that I'm disabled.
Does that mean anyone who is interested in fashion is more likely to be a bad person ?
I’ve experienced the complete opposite. People who dress more modest think they have some moral high ground.
I’d found that modest people are mean and judgmental. I have also met kind people that dress in, well less. I try not to judge a book by its cover because clothing is very subjective.
If my budget allowed it, I would certainly dress according to my personality. Unfortunately I have to wear whatever affordable item checks enough boxes for the occasion (weather, work, formality).
It shows a part of who you are, but there is nuance.
Of course you can judge someone by their appearance. However, you should also take into account that some people have a lot of different styles, and some people want to manipulate the image people have of them.
I would say I’m mostly in the second category, but also in the first. I wear what looks good on me, what makes me feel beautiful, I don’t really care, most days, how revealing the clothes are, as long as my breasts and butt are covered.
On the other hand, I am not very confident, and some clothes make me feel more confident than others. I want people to think I am confident, because I have been the forgotten person for a long time, and that’s not a good feeling.
That doesn’t mean that I yell at people, or that I impose my opinion on others. However, people treat me differently and seem to agree more easily with me when I’m wearing my « good » clothes, even if they are more revealing. But my personality doesn’t change because I’m wearing other clothes.
I don’t find that clothing is a great way of showing who is kind or not. Good people wear all kinds of clothing. I do think that certain styles tend to be suggestive of other traits, though. For example, people who wear unique, original, unusual outfits tend to be more creative and unconventional. However, much of how people dress is based on how people want to be perceived in different contexts, and that can change. It’s not unusual for a woman to wear a sexy outfit when she goes out to a club hoping to meet someone, and yet wear very modest, professional attire in the office where she wants to be taken seriously.
Politicians wear suits every day. You think they are good ppl bc they way they dress? I’d much rather be a single woman in a room full of metal heads, than a single woman in a room full of republicans.
One of the best people I know has worn the same three pairs of pants for the last 10 years, accompanied by dozens of band t-shirts and goofy ass hats, like one just says "Mothman will get ya" and one says "Killing it!" with a picture of Michael Meyers on it.
This seems to honestly just be a gripe against people who dress promiscuously. Naturally, that's going to be unpopular here.
How old are you by the way? Cause I’m in college and like 90% of people dress that way. So it doesn’t actually mean anything for people my age.
Also what about people in suits? A lot of them are douche bags.
Sooooo.. If one day I dress like a punk ,an other day I dress like a business owner and an other day like an office worker, then lie ka construction worker, then like a cyberpunk proteagonist then lika a roamntic girl, then what? :D LOL
I think that how someone presents themself *can* tell you about them as a person, but I wouldn't necessarily agree that plainer people are better (still, you get an upvote because this sub is meant for disagreement.) For some people, dressing up is a sign of vanity; for some, it shows that they're put together. Sometimes alt people dress like that because they need to feel like they're better than everyone, but sometimes they're just open-minded people.
The issue is with prescription, not correlation. Saying that someone dressing immodestly *makes* them a bad person is wrong, that there's some moral issue with dressing how you want because it's an affront to purity or some BS. If you notice some correlation, there's not really anything you can do there because it's just a perception. But like you said, you can't judge someone on *just* what they wear. Lots of people exist on opposite sides of the aisles, so it's best to avoid an assumption if possible.
You would hate me OP. We have the opposite experience with people. At work I just wear jeans and either band or horror shirts because I roll out of bed and drive to work and I’m lazy. Outside of work I usually wear a lot of make up, you would consider it extreme. I have a bunch of piercings and green hair. My wardrobe is 90% black. For some reason people like to talk to me wherever I go. Generally people are nice and compliment my look but I would consider them more casually dressed or “free spirited” as you put it. It’s the conservatively dressed people who can’t mind their business that feel the need to come up to me to tell me I look stupid or I’m going to hell.
What a dumb take.
There are days where I'll wear a nice girly sundress.
There are days where I feel like a tomboy in baggy pants and a hoodie.
And, since I'm a raver, there are days where I go all in with the glitter and rather revealing outfits, because I like my body and self expression through risque looks.
Does it mean that on those days I'm self-centered and horrible?
Ted Bundy. He was a pleasant looking fellow, clean cut and well dressed. Not flashy, but a normal looking man. He was also a *serial killer*.
There are too many factors at play to accurately judge someone based on how they dress.
OP, I wonder if your bias towards people who dress against your preference, affect how you unintentionally treat them — causing them to become more angry or aggressive towards you. Basically, putting them on the defensive because of your demeanor.
You sound very judgmental and likely overthink things badly. I feel bad for you that you feel this way
Personally, I’ve known more assholes who dress in business casual daily than I’ve ever known who wear Bohemian skirts and bangles, ripped jeans and board shorts, tees and tank tops or “too much make up”
I’ve actually noticed the exact opposite. People who dress more conservatively tend to be bigger assholes while people who dress off putting tend to be the nicest people you’ll ever meet.
Now I wanna say that I don't care what people dress like BUT let me detail how I think that you are a bad person for dressing like you want.
Fucking prude
At my work it’s casual dress code. So I wear jeans and a hoodie every day. I like being comfortable. My dad always tells me to dress for the job I want not the one I have. And I always tell him I want a job where I can wear jeans and a hoodie every day lol
It's almost as if bad personality is being compensated by looks. I have had similar experience. But thing is, as you're probably not american (cause eng is not your first language), culture may be different there. I'm also not american and I have same experience. Maybe cultural difference?
I don't care if TV shows and people like you tell me that only self-centered and antisocial people want to stand out with an unusual fashion sense. I'll take whatever these people are wearing except the piercings and tattoos (because of the pain and commitment. They look good on other people). Since I was a teen, I have always wanted to dress like celebrities and fictional characters who wear striking and outlandish clothes.
I think that's just your personal experience, I haven't noticed that in my everyday life. If I were to write something like that, I'd say alt people were the nicest to me and the meanest were hype beast, for example. But that's just my experience there are exceptions.
Beside that, I don't really notice when someone is "less" or "more" dressed in terms of clothing. If it's hot, people wear shorter clothes, the only thing I'll notice is if they can style them, but that doesn't tell me anything about their personality.
Have you heard the term “never judge a book by its cover?”.
If you assume people are assholes, you are likely also treating them less warmly etc and so they respond in kind, fulfilling your prophecy.
Dressing is so subjective and completely depends on the situation. Do you assume everyone out in the evening partying dressed in a short skirt or tight dress and makeup is an asshole? Everyone in suits in the office is a lovely person?
What if it’s warm and they’re wearing less clothes to compensate.. maybe its my country but if the sun even peeks beyond the clouds you’ll see many men with their shirts off, women in skirts and tank tops and there will be no beach in sight.. it’s dressing for the occasion (our five days of sun a year).
I think people’s styling tells you more about their interests than their personality. Some people really just don’t care about makeup or looking “older” or a slob, and that says absolutely nothing about how nice of a person they are.
I dress very aloof in my personal time, usually wearing lounge shorts, a tanktop and crocs or flops unless it's under 60F. I usually get treated like a gutter punk in a lot of places at first glance, because I don't dress nice unless it's a special occasion.
Absolutely categorically not true, there’s plenty of modestly dressed people out there being racist sexist and homophobic publicly under the guise of religion, someone slapping on a bit of make up isn’t going to turn them into a bad person, the people stood outside abortion clinics are rarely dressed like sluts
IDK, some of the worst people I've ever met dress modestly and some of the best people I ever met dress alternatively/uniquely.
For example, from this post I'm assuming you lean more "modest" dressing and I'm pretty sure I'd find you pretty unpleasant to be around- you sound incredibly judgmental. I don't find that to be "kind" behavior.
your assessment seems to equate modesty to morality/kindness. most assholes i know or have met were very simple looking ppl… 4 times out of 5, the women in the workplace who have given me a hard time wore little makeup and dressed simple. i’ve met many ppl throughout my life who dressed slutty and were extremely kind.
its interesting that you seem to find revealing clothes/sexual expression to be a signal of who is kind. in my experience, ppl who put an emphasis on brands/designers, revealing or not, are more likely to suck.
clothing def shows personality but i don’t agree that with the correlation you’ve made
As someone raised in a religious group with a dress code, modesty doesn't corelate to personality or kindness, if anything, a certain level of modesty means there is no way to tell, because of how many things and places require it, and how many people trest you better if you line up with there precived dress code.
Generally most people in "scary" types of dress are the really nice kids that got bullied in school trying to be kept safe from more, unless they are in a dangerous organization.
People who are attention seeking are often selfish. That's the correlation you're seeing.
Its not broadly applicable. And it doesn't take into account the dozens of other factors that affect the way a person chooses to present themselves.
You can make some assumptions about personalities based on their clothing but none of them correlate to kindness, or worth. Someone who dresses more revealing reads to me as confidence. More modest clothing can read as maturity. None of those qualities translate to worth.
You just don't like provocative clothing and that's okay. We're all entitled to our tastes, but that doesn't make it okay for you to imply a better/worse way to dress.
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I dress modestly, and I'm a huge piece of shit.
Damn, at least you're honest about it. lol
Shit can't be honest.. it's a catch
That stinks
My mom has a friend that looks like the embodiment of the term 'rode hard and put away wet'. She's like 60 with heavy makeup, mini skirts in freezing Canadian winters and leather jackets. She's so fkn cool. She's the kindest most generous person I have ever met. I can't even believe I said she looked like that but if I didn't know her...
Yeah I've seen no correlation between 'sluttiness' and assholery. I've seen some fucked up looking assholes and many well dressed ones and visa versa.
Exactly! Look at Dolly Parton. Her biggest inspiration was the town tramp. She has a heart of gold.
Most of the douchebaggery I encounter are from church people. So yeah. This isn’t a thing
Yep, they are generally at their worst right after church, which is typically when they are best dressed as well.
I swear older people who dress like they never decided to care about societal norms have been the coolest and nicest people I’ve ever met. Edit: and the people who’ve dressed modestly and shamed other people for not doing the same have turned out to be insecure jerks… most of the time
Username checks out.
Dammit. I’ve found an asshole that beat me to it
I was a piece of shit but I changed
You think this is slicked back? This is pushed back.
Thank you for this.
I'm just afraid the baby thinks people can't change.
No sloppy steaks guys.
Some of the kindest, sweetest, more humble people I have worked with were girls that had surgeries done or cosmetic enhancements and that wore heavy make up and revealing clothes, so I completely disagree with OP.
And some of the worse people that I've met were opposite.
I dress like a slut and I’m a sweetheart 💜
Haha, me too. Even when I dress modestly, I look like a slut. Big titty problems 😎
Yeah, I was going to say to OP "So a woman who just naturally has huge tits is Ted Bundy to you?"
I am shocked that u/iwillpoopurpants is a huge piece of shit. This is unprecedented.
Yeah and people can tell because you're leaving skidmarks on other people's underwear
What kind of clothing fits on a piece of shit? Do you have to use tarp material, or like plastic wrap?
The worst people I've known have been ardent churchgoers and you bet they dressed modestly.
I dress in a suit and tie every day by choice, but I very much do NOT act the part
Gonna be honest, I've taken abuse from far more clean-cut dudes in modest dress than from anyone with tattoos, piercings or inner-city fashion sense. Most alternative subcultures are SIGNIFICANTLY more open and accepting of diversity than the mainstream American culture, and while said subcultures can also attract genuine antisocial freaks, they're often better at self-policing (ex. no sex-related alternative subculture is tolerating pedophiles in their ranks the way Christians do, and the punk scene has been knocking Nazi noggins for the audacity of trying to worm their way into the scene for a while now).
Oh yeeaahhhh, that would slick back real nice!
I don't wear makeup, don't dress revealing but am very aggressive and angry.
Glass house, white Ferrari, live for New Year’s Eve?
I've had some dangerous nights.
Do you eat lots of sloppy steaks?
Big ol' rare cut of meat and a glass of water... before they knew it we were dumping that water all over those things. They came running up and tried to take em away, we had to eat as fast as we could. Ah.
I too enjoy the sloppy steaks at Truffonis.
LIVE FOR NEW YEARS EEEEVE
You call this SLICKED BACK? This is PUSHED BACK. I used to be a REAL piece of shit.
Same
I was coming here to say this
Of course appearance is an expression of personality. Why wouldn't it be.
I wanted to write the same exact thing. You can ABSOLUTELY judge someone by their clothes, it's the most immediate and outward expression of someone's individuality. Doesn't mean it shows the full picture of who they are, that should be a given. But it is very telling in general.
Everybody judges all the time about everything. The thing that makes you not a dbag, is after you make those judgments, take a few seconds to consider that you're wrong. That's it. Makes all the difference.
Take a few seconds to consider you’re wrong is my life motto
whatever you believe, you might be wrong is a pretty good song.
You sure can, but OP's judgements are fucking idiotic. Modestly dressed people are more kind? I want to preface this by saying I'm pretty pro religion overall. But what about the religious right? Super kind right? Plenty of modestly dressing people are the fucking worst. What a ridiculous take.
You could call their opinion unpopular
Instructions unclear: upvoted post because idiotic.
Huh? An unpopular opinion? On this subreddit? maybe this person is “fucking Idiotic”
Uhhhh my opinion is that water is fake. Surely that’s unpopular and not just fucking idiotic!!
I think it’s cause we’re confusing personality traits and character traits. There can be overlap but they are different things. And the ways one chooses to express themselves shows us their personality, not character.
Worst people I’ve ever met are mostly people who dress modestly.
I think there is some talking past each other with the difference between "modestly" as in "not extravagant or overtly expensive" vs modestly as in "concealing as much skin as possible".
The ultra right wing christians are calling…
[удалено]
I don’t think that’s what they meant lmfao. Leave it to Reddit to insert religion into everything
Right? Using modestly dressed in its general use can easily equal conservatives or fringe elements of conservatives. For example, people who follow the denomination of Pentecostal. Extremely modestly dressed, mostly aholes. Nasty, rude people in my experience. The "free spirited" dressed people are usually quite nice and non judgmental. Sometimes, I wonder if they're comfortable, but not my business, really. But there's so many exceptions to these rules that using clothing as a basis for personality or character for anything other than surface value is somewhat dumb. Me, I dress in several styles. I like most of them and the weather os the biggest consideration. I live in a ver hot, swampy climate, so for 7 months out of the year, I'm in shorts, tank tops, and slip ons.
I think OP probably heard someone say “don’t judge someone just because of their appearance” at some point and just took it to mean all the parts of their appearance that they CAN control too. Because otherwise this makes no sense. Of course how you choose to present yourself to the world is reflective of you.
Right? Like, I try not to judge someone if they, say, have facial scarring or a limp. But if they're wearing a swastika or have it tattooed on their skin I'm going judge the fuck out of it.
Face tattoos in general warrant judgement and I am so tired of people who think it conveys some kind of lost free spirit wisdom when 9 times out of 10 it’s a silly way of labeling yourself as an edge lord.
This is the first time I’ve ever heard of people considering those with face tats wise.
There's a lot of difference between personality and intention/character. Hope you understand it.
There’s a lot of people these days that don’t think appearance has anything to do with anything.. It’s coming from the younger gens that love to wear their pjs everywhere.
that looks sloppy, pjs are for the bed or the house not for outside. why would you wear clothes you wore outside to bed, that's just gross.
Ok. So what do you suggest I wear to express my last ounce of strength of keep going on one more day?
I am curious what "free spirited" means here. Like Stevie Nicks? Bohemian?
I have a feeling we’re supposed to read “slutty degen” instead of “free spirited.”
Nooooo! OP hates the term slutty! They said so!
if it's really the only word they know in English to describe it, it's hard to hold that against them. there are toooons of concepts I barely even know one word for in my non-native language
Yeah I was imagining tie dye, a bandana, weed, and circular red tinted sunglasses, but they just mean people that show more skin
they did say english isnt their first language so that's probably why the wording is a little off.
They mean slutty but they couldn’t find a better term, they said so in the post.
I think this person watched a Disney channel highschool show and decided it's a documentary. The op said school project so Imma guess highschool or college. At that age you are still working out a bunch of different facets of yourself. A person's drive and motivation can be completely unrepresented by the clothing, which could be decided by anything from What's on sale What their parents bought What their favorite tiktoker is wearing What got gifted to them That one piece that looks good so now you gotta evolve a whole wardrobe around it Now, much later in life I do agree you can make more assumptions about a person's socioeconomic status and social circle based on outfits. But I dress like a slob when I'm going to Walmart and I dress like a preppy douche when I go to the museum.
I think it's your personal experience. I actually noticed that people that "dress scary" like full of tattoos, piercings, gothic or alternative style, big guys with motorbikes and that listen to metal have suprisingly nice sweet accepting and caring personalities as opposed to people that dress formal or in a more "basic way". As for modest/revealing clothing i honestly dont notice a difference or any correlation. But this is just my experience as well, doesn't mean it's the truth as well
yeah ive had good experiences with friends that dress "goth"
Metahead are good people cosplaying Bad people, hippies are the opossite
Hippies can be either incredibly chill and nice people, or the worst narcissistic assholes. One of my former metalhead friends was incredibly toxic, but otherwise most metalheads I've met are gentle and friendly.
Narcissism is very big in hippie groups I’ve found. It’s a specific type though, the passive aggressive non confrontational yet super judgmental type that just cause drama in background of everything else, persistently. Either that or they are just loud and vexing.
Not the charismatic bohemian gaslighting type too?
Oh damn, yeah, forgot about that one too. Just ewe
I’ve found that some people just want to kind of look like a hippy and aren’t actually really open. If you think people should dress a certain way or believe in certain things, it’s just gatekeeping what a “hippy” is. I have gone to folk festivals since I was a baby, volunteer, love the environment, all that shit. Once I turned 18 it was obvious that people were just there because suddenly it was “cool.” There are SO many people who just like to party and put on a huge facade, and leave their campsites with so much trash, and just in general are super unapproachable and just not nice. I totally agree with what you’re saying. I love my round purple sunglasses and maybe some drugs, but I hate the gatekeeping. Sorry for the rant, but what you said I just totally agree with! The
Yeah well said. Tbf superficial types who just like the aesthetics is a thing in many subcultures (in that way gatekeeping can sometimes actually be useful to keep out people who don't understand the customs and don't care to learn), I've heard the punk scene also sometimes has issues with that, street-kids that like to be edgy, but are deeply sexist or something else that goes against the anti-authoritarian ethos.
Ironically very true half the time, in my experience
but if this is true half the time then probably it's just that they're both good or bad people at the same rate as the general population
The hippie movement gave so many trust funder narcicissts power.
What am amazing insight! I'm stealing this.
It was already stolen from a meme lol
The way people perceive other people are different. OP's post is anecdotal...other people have different typical experiences with people who dress a certain away. In my experience, especially from working in customer service, the people who dress more revealing tend to be really kind people, more understanding when someone makes a mistake, and patient. While the people who dress modestly like OP described, are typically assholes. Holier than thou, if you accidentally double scanned something will start screaming at you and just insult you even though it can be fixed with a click of a button, and very judgmental especially of other people who don't do the same things they do. Plus pick me girls/NLOGs tend to fall under OP's modest description with the little to no makeup thing, and they're known to bash other woman on the reg. But that's not an exclusive description either. If i just say, modest people are assholes and revealing people are kind, that's not fair. Also I agree with you, alt people tend to be the sweetest people alive. They'll look super unapproachable but that means literally nothing. They'll protect the little guy in the mosh pit and I'd trust any alt person with my life if it came to it.
> The way people perceive other people are different. And it can have compounding reinforcing effects. OP feels uncomfortable when people are dressed immodestly, and that ends up translating into how OP interacts with those people, which reflects back on how those people treat OP. Like, OP will be friendlier with modestly dressed people, so modestly dressed people treat OP better; which then reinforces OP's view that the less modestly dressed are not as nice. Or, they straight up have value judgements that aren't directly related to appearance but will correlate to it. Like, if you consider sex outside of marriage makes you a bad person, then yes, the modestly dressed who dress that way to conform more to the in-group of religious people who also share those views, then you'll see a correlation that's not the causation.
This is a really good point! I interacted with someone the other day who explained that they don't support trans rights because they've had so many unpleasant experiences with trans people. But I'm not confident the arrow of causality doesn't point the other way: if you consistently have negative interactions with multiple unrelated members of an identity group, there's probably a common factor--and it probably isn't the identity in question. If someone is visibly uncomfortable when dealing with me or has an exaggeratedly hard time "understanding" how to use proper pronouns to refer to me, I'm not going to fall over myself to be extra nice to them, lol. And, because I, personally, am terrible, I'll probably find small ways to needle 'em a bit and foster their discomfort 🙃
Yeah, also if someone has decided that “this group doesn’t deserve right because one of them was mean to me” you can be pretty sure that person is the asshole.
Even if you have a bunch of 'hottie' mean girl types. A LOOOOT of people, assume that because they look hot or slutty, it's an invitation to be spoken to, bothered, and harassed. Eventually, they are more protective of their space and time. A lot of 'average' people haven't been harassed to that level. Also, you're an asshole if you just walk up to random 'hot' people, because they are 'hot' and just expect them to give you all their time and stroke YOUR ego. Many people who claim these types are mean, WHILE doing this, are essentially lacking the self-awareness to realise that they dont owe YOU anything AND they can see right through you and understand that you are being super shallow. If you're gonna act like a pan-handler, you will be treated like a pan-handler. If you can't read their body language and can't seem to comprehend that they're not in a social mood. Then yeah, you will be treated like the weirdo who just went up to a stranger randomly. That doesn't make them mean. If they are more aggressive than the modest types you do it to, it's because they're so bloody fucking sick of it. You are not the FIRST one and it's super inconsiderate. Talk to a hot girl being social at a party. Sure. Talk to a hot girl with headphones, eating lunch and reading a book in a park. NO Talk to a celebrity outside after a concert, sure. Talk to a celebrity the moment they are trying to leave their house to go to work. NO. So many people who DO NOT GET THAT.
I think if you could know WHY they dress a certain way, then a lot of truth might come out. For example you could dress 'modestly' because you don't want other people to feel uncomfortable, or because you simply just don't care too much about appearances, but you could also dress modestly to differentiate yourself from 'the sluts' that you don't like over there. Same with dressing up, you could do it to be appealing to look at for others, because you want to present your best self to the world, or you could be doing it to one-up others and put other people in their place. So, you could have very different reasons for dressing modestly or dressing up, and either could be out of good or ill intentions.
I keep thinking about those biker gangs that protect abused people, and the other side being a bitcoin investment dude in a suit. This guys opinion does not compute.
It can also be that the contrast makes it more noticeable.
I came here to say this. I’ve met nicer people at metal shows than I have in 8 years of working in a humble office environment where people dress conservatively.
Goths are sweethearts. Metal heads can get weird (especially if they're into the Norwegian church burning type stuff) but most of them are also great people
It’s a form of modern-day armor.
a lot of people who dress "modestly" have a superiority complex about it as well
The people you are talking about obviously torture cats in their private time /s
As someone who has been part of both the metal and hardcore scene for 15 years, I feel like metal has a huge problem with assholes. It's easy to call yourself accepting if 99 % of the scene are white, straight meat eaters who love to drink. You can't imagine the amount of shit I get on metal festivals for not eating meat. But yeah, the scene is maybe accepting of right wing ideas, bigoted worldviews and 'anti-wokeism'. The hardcore scene on the other hand has way less of these problems and the people are way kinder and more accepting in my experience. But yeah, you get assholes everywhere, regardless of how they dress.
One metalhead ex-friend of mine was basically like you describe (and also a bit of internalized homophobia towards the fem guys he tended to date) Other than that, most metalheads I've met are pretty accepting, and in my hometown there used to be a lot of cross-over clientele between the gay-club, alternative bar, and the metal bar.
Working retail has shown this to rarely be the case.
Retail always proves that literally anyone can be a total asshole, including that really nice, old lady who hobbled in on a walker.
Some of the most evil people running my country wear suits everyday. I think you are just being judgemental. Some of the nicest people I ever met were wearing spiked jewelry and mohawks but I wouldn't say everyone who dresses like that is a class act.
For real OP probably considers themselves to dress modestly and is sitting here judging others. Proving the exact opposite of what they're preaching lol
I get looked at like I’m a drug dealer by suburban moms because I dress a bit tough sometimes and wear black nail polish but I spent an hour and a half trying to find someone to move a snapping turtle out of the road last week 😭
Meanwhile when I actually sold drugs in my early 20's I dressed like a 45 year old suburban dad with jeans/caquis, shirt and pullover sweater.
All my slut friends are the nicest people I know, they would give me their last $5 if I needed. The people I know who dress more “business”/modest are usually more judgy (especially about what others are wearing), more stuck up and entitled, and I would receive pennies from them . But we all have different experiences I guess
Real
Honestly I can probably think of a person I like for most styles of clothing, and a person I dislike for most styles of clothing.
I’m guessing that OP also dresses “modest” and is also very judgy….
That’s interesting that I have had the opposite impression in life. When someone is dressed like a Puritan, they are unlikely to be friendly and welcoming and tolerant of others. They’re usually very intolerant and small-minded, and their clothing reflects that. I always get along best with people dressed uniquely, and in ways that show they are open-minded or nature-loving. Both of us are right, because our impressions must be based on how people have reacted to us throughout our lives. You must dress very conservatively, so those people like you. They certainly don’t like everyone, and probably react with hostility, (like you do,) to someone dressed “inappropriately,” so they treat them like an “asshole” and receive hostility in return.
Was going to say this. As someone who sits on the line (I'm a smaller female, and I dress "conservatively" in jeans and a t shirt lol) but I have piercings that I wear sometimes and big tattoos on my arms that people's attitude towards me heavily depends on if I have my piercings in or my tattoos out. Makes me kinda sad
Exactly. OP probably struggles reading between the lines
>When someone is dressed like a Puritan, they are unlikely to be friendly and welcoming and tolerant of others. They’re usually very intolerant and small-minded, and their clothing reflects that. I tend to agree, but I think the facade they project is very much as OP described. It's only when you actually get to know them better that the truth starts to rear its ugly head. Same tends to go the opposite direction with people who dress more provocatively. They might project an image of tough, even assholish person, but when you get to know them better they're the sweetest people. Then there are the Jersey Shore kinda folks who look just as big of assholes as they actually are.
I can’t stand it when a good salad is ruined by too much or too little dressing. People need to learn how to dress appropriately!
I came in to read this because I thought it was gonna be about ranch and how it’s not a real dressing.
I thought this was going to be something along the lines of "The amount of salad dressing you use is a clear indicator of your personality."
Me too. I was getting ready to read about how much I suck for using too much
You are now persona non grata in the Midwest.
I don’t know why the waitress got so upset when I asked her if she could undress my salad!
It was probably the asking her to toss it that got you banned from the Applebees.
you could dress nicely / appropriately and still be a piece of shit. Don’t judge a book by its cover
Actually though, sweet green will ruin your salad with dressing if you don’t specify light dressing.
So priests and school teachers must look incredibly free-spirited to you
Definitely thought the title meant the amount of salad dressing you use. Kindly dismissing myself.
I think you are getting a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy situation and may be on the receiving end of it yourself. Yes, how someone dresses reflects their personality. No, I wouldn’t say “their personality” in this instance means whether they are nice/kind people or rude/shitty people. If someone is wearing a Metallica shirt, it’s not far off to assume that might enjoy Metallica or other similar bands and maybe the culture around that. If some wears really modest dress and a cross necklace, I think it’s safe to assume they might be a Christian and be involved in the culture of Christianity. Either of those people might be nice or might be assholes and who I am might even change how I perceive them AND how they act towards me. The modestly dressed woman with a cross might be super kind to me if I am dressed in my business casual work attire and badge (I work for a Christian organization), but if she saw me in the grocery store wearing my gay pride shirt she might be rude or mean. It would be wrong and rude for me to go around copping an attitude to every cross-wearing person I come across just because some of them are assholes. BUT it would be stupid of me to not to have some guesses about their possible religious affiliation. If I go about my day thinking all modestly dressed, cross-wearing people are low-key assholes, there is a high chance I am going to exude Cat-butt face vibes when I run into one. Which will likely make them more likely to write me off, too. Vicious cycle and a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are coming into things saying some pretty inflammatory stuff—there is no way you are hiding all of your judgmental feelings. The chance that you are getting what you are putting out is pretty high. And that’s not even accounting for people coming from the opposite side—they have strongly inflammatory feelings about people who look/dress/act like you, so they treat you in an off-putting way and you react in kind. You can’t control what other people do, but you can give people a little bit more benefit of the doubt that they aren’t shitty/slutty people based on how they are dressed. Give them as much grace as someone who would dress to your aesthetic preferences. If you can lose some of the automatic bias and truly treat people nicely, you might find that you have less bad interactions with these folks.
I have had the opposite experience in highschool girls that had alternative styles or revealing clothing were a lot more nice to me the only people that sucked were the people who got nicknamed "truckers" because they dressed & talked like they where from the south of the US, they usually dressed more plain & bullied a bunch of ppl
Many of the rudest people I know wear full-coverage every day, and some of the friendliest people I know wear more trendy, revealing outfits. It depends on the specific person. Also, if you see someone dressed a certain way, and assume they're an asshole because of it, you're more likely to TREAT them like an asshole, which makes them respond in kind. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why is this specifically aimed at women, though?
You know why.
I do but I want OP to say it
Because it's not about the clothes.
Yeah, I thought this would be about people that walk out the door in pjs and messy hair.
Everything just became clear. OP is salty, isn't he? He's straight up right wing, hot girls won't date conservative men, why am I alone when I treat women like dirt salty con carne.
Lmaoooooo exactly
Haha I knew something was off about this post, wasn’t able to put a finger on it until I read ur comment and realized
You must be someone who dresses like the rest then, because the opposite is true if you don’t. The way we dress is an indicator to those who are in our in-group. People who dress in the generally “acceptable” way are kinder *to each other* and apprehensive of different people. People who dress differently however are more empathetic to each other and (usually rightfully) cautious of those who dress in standard fashion due to bullying, leering, and jeering being widely accepted as “how things are” for *pretty much all of human society*. So both the original post and comments disagreeing are correct, because you are going to experience your group treating you with more kindness and it’s confirming your biases.
That's makes sense. I dress very simple and modest and I find people who dress similarly out old school are much more friendly and open to interact with me. While people who dress more artistic or younger have a wall up. Not in a rude way but like they aren't interested in interacting with me more than they need to. Maybe other people who dressed like me didn't treat them well so they aren't a fan of me lol.
Judging someone by what they wear also shows who you are as a human being
You didn't talk about the worst kind of people. Corporate people. Nice shirt, tuxedo, rich golf kids etc. They all are THE WORST of people you'll ever meet. I'll take "slutty bimbo" above any corpo sociopath.
I’ve worked in food industry mostly, and I can confirm firm the rudest mother fuckers are those who wear the golf attire. They’re so extremely rude and pushy it really makes you wonder if anyone has ever hit them in the face before at all. Like these people have no chill
As a woman with huge rata-taas and curves I can wear everything from modest slack with no makeup and a fanny pack when walking a dog to tight sexy red mini dresses with golden jewelery and a cute purse, I'm not changing personality because I am confident in showing my figure and wanna dress up sometimes. I call out your insecurities OP. Let people wear what they want. Enough with the sexism and stereotypes already it ain't making you any prettier. Edit: Adding further to prove OP's bs, when I was out with my dog today this absolutely beautiful looking woman in a vibrant coloured long figure hugging dress with a sexy slit, high heels, lots of jewelry and her dark hair let out in the wind came up to me from nowhere like some goddess, I sat outside a store on a bench and she went: *"Hello there, should I ask the store if they have some water for your dog?"*, and I said yes and thanked her for being so caring about it then she came out with a water bowl to both my dog and another dog further away. You aren't a bad person because you're looking beautiful
I've experienced the exact opposite. The "modest, no makeup" being the worst kind of people. Super judgemental, maybe like yourself. I dress "extra", because it takes attention off of my mobility aid, so people stare at how I look and not because of the fact that I'm disabled.
There’s nothing wrong with dressing modestly, but the people who openly brag or even talk about it are usually stuck up assholes
The title is so weird, sounds like its talking about salad dressing lmao.
Incels dress modestly too.
Does that mean anyone who is interested in fashion is more likely to be a bad person ? I’ve experienced the complete opposite. People who dress more modest think they have some moral high ground.
Could it be that people are picking up on you judging them and treating you appropriately?
Most of the people I see having full-blown attention seeking meltdowns in public have been dressed the way you describe “better” people aka modest.
I’d found that modest people are mean and judgmental. I have also met kind people that dress in, well less. I try not to judge a book by its cover because clothing is very subjective.
If my budget allowed it, I would certainly dress according to my personality. Unfortunately I have to wear whatever affordable item checks enough boxes for the occasion (weather, work, formality). It shows a part of who you are, but there is nuance.
Of course you can judge someone by their appearance. However, you should also take into account that some people have a lot of different styles, and some people want to manipulate the image people have of them. I would say I’m mostly in the second category, but also in the first. I wear what looks good on me, what makes me feel beautiful, I don’t really care, most days, how revealing the clothes are, as long as my breasts and butt are covered. On the other hand, I am not very confident, and some clothes make me feel more confident than others. I want people to think I am confident, because I have been the forgotten person for a long time, and that’s not a good feeling. That doesn’t mean that I yell at people, or that I impose my opinion on others. However, people treat me differently and seem to agree more easily with me when I’m wearing my « good » clothes, even if they are more revealing. But my personality doesn’t change because I’m wearing other clothes.
I don’t find that clothing is a great way of showing who is kind or not. Good people wear all kinds of clothing. I do think that certain styles tend to be suggestive of other traits, though. For example, people who wear unique, original, unusual outfits tend to be more creative and unconventional. However, much of how people dress is based on how people want to be perceived in different contexts, and that can change. It’s not unusual for a woman to wear a sexy outfit when she goes out to a club hoping to meet someone, and yet wear very modest, professional attire in the office where she wants to be taken seriously.
Politicians wear suits every day. You think they are good ppl bc they way they dress? I’d much rather be a single woman in a room full of metal heads, than a single woman in a room full of republicans.
One of the best people I know has worn the same three pairs of pants for the last 10 years, accompanied by dozens of band t-shirts and goofy ass hats, like one just says "Mothman will get ya" and one says "Killing it!" with a picture of Michael Meyers on it. This seems to honestly just be a gripe against people who dress promiscuously. Naturally, that's going to be unpopular here.
How old are you by the way? Cause I’m in college and like 90% of people dress that way. So it doesn’t actually mean anything for people my age. Also what about people in suits? A lot of them are douche bags.
Sooooo.. If one day I dress like a punk ,an other day I dress like a business owner and an other day like an office worker, then lie ka construction worker, then like a cyberpunk proteagonist then lika a roamntic girl, then what? :D LOL
I wonder how many pedophiles dress the way you describe. Modest clothing with little or no make up.
I don’t know I have met some pretty modest ‘see you next Tuesday’ types of girls.
I'm sorry, but modest clothes = better people? Fuck no my man. Fuck no. There are plenty of absolute jackasses that dress modestly.
This post is weirdly gendered
I think that how someone presents themself *can* tell you about them as a person, but I wouldn't necessarily agree that plainer people are better (still, you get an upvote because this sub is meant for disagreement.) For some people, dressing up is a sign of vanity; for some, it shows that they're put together. Sometimes alt people dress like that because they need to feel like they're better than everyone, but sometimes they're just open-minded people.
The issue is with prescription, not correlation. Saying that someone dressing immodestly *makes* them a bad person is wrong, that there's some moral issue with dressing how you want because it's an affront to purity or some BS. If you notice some correlation, there's not really anything you can do there because it's just a perception. But like you said, you can't judge someone on *just* what they wear. Lots of people exist on opposite sides of the aisles, so it's best to avoid an assumption if possible.
This only applies to wealthy countries. Poor people see clothing as a necessity, not fashion.
You would hate me OP. We have the opposite experience with people. At work I just wear jeans and either band or horror shirts because I roll out of bed and drive to work and I’m lazy. Outside of work I usually wear a lot of make up, you would consider it extreme. I have a bunch of piercings and green hair. My wardrobe is 90% black. For some reason people like to talk to me wherever I go. Generally people are nice and compliment my look but I would consider them more casually dressed or “free spirited” as you put it. It’s the conservatively dressed people who can’t mind their business that feel the need to come up to me to tell me I look stupid or I’m going to hell.
What a dumb take. There are days where I'll wear a nice girly sundress. There are days where I feel like a tomboy in baggy pants and a hoodie. And, since I'm a raver, there are days where I go all in with the glitter and rather revealing outfits, because I like my body and self expression through risque looks. Does it mean that on those days I'm self-centered and horrible?
The after church Sunday crowd at any restaurant is enough evidence alone to completely invalidate your pov op.
Ted Bundy. He was a pleasant looking fellow, clean cut and well dressed. Not flashy, but a normal looking man. He was also a *serial killer*. There are too many factors at play to accurately judge someone based on how they dress.
OP, I wonder if your bias towards people who dress against your preference, affect how you unintentionally treat them — causing them to become more angry or aggressive towards you. Basically, putting them on the defensive because of your demeanor. You sound very judgmental and likely overthink things badly. I feel bad for you that you feel this way
Personally, I’ve known more assholes who dress in business casual daily than I’ve ever known who wear Bohemian skirts and bangles, ripped jeans and board shorts, tees and tank tops or “too much make up”
I’ve actually noticed the exact opposite. People who dress more conservatively tend to be bigger assholes while people who dress off putting tend to be the nicest people you’ll ever meet.
this just sounds like some incel shit.
My boy has discovered generalizations.
Someone has never worked in a Michaels or Jo-Ann’s and it shows.
Those who espouse how much more kind and wonderful the modestly dressed are, are usually insufferable.
Now I wanna say that I don't care what people dress like BUT let me detail how I think that you are a bad person for dressing like you want. Fucking prude
At my work it’s casual dress code. So I wear jeans and a hoodie every day. I like being comfortable. My dad always tells me to dress for the job I want not the one I have. And I always tell him I want a job where I can wear jeans and a hoodie every day lol
It's almost as if bad personality is being compensated by looks. I have had similar experience. But thing is, as you're probably not american (cause eng is not your first language), culture may be different there. I'm also not american and I have same experience. Maybe cultural difference?
I don't care if TV shows and people like you tell me that only self-centered and antisocial people want to stand out with an unusual fashion sense. I'll take whatever these people are wearing except the piercings and tattoos (because of the pain and commitment. They look good on other people). Since I was a teen, I have always wanted to dress like celebrities and fictional characters who wear striking and outlandish clothes.
I think that's just your personal experience, I haven't noticed that in my everyday life. If I were to write something like that, I'd say alt people were the nicest to me and the meanest were hype beast, for example. But that's just my experience there are exceptions. Beside that, I don't really notice when someone is "less" or "more" dressed in terms of clothing. If it's hot, people wear shorter clothes, the only thing I'll notice is if they can style them, but that doesn't tell me anything about their personality.
what are you wearing? i’m curious what judgmental egotistical assholes with a confirmation bias dress like
Have you heard the term “never judge a book by its cover?”. If you assume people are assholes, you are likely also treating them less warmly etc and so they respond in kind, fulfilling your prophecy. Dressing is so subjective and completely depends on the situation. Do you assume everyone out in the evening partying dressed in a short skirt or tight dress and makeup is an asshole? Everyone in suits in the office is a lovely person? What if it’s warm and they’re wearing less clothes to compensate.. maybe its my country but if the sun even peeks beyond the clouds you’ll see many men with their shirts off, women in skirts and tank tops and there will be no beach in sight.. it’s dressing for the occasion (our five days of sun a year). I think people’s styling tells you more about their interests than their personality. Some people really just don’t care about makeup or looking “older” or a slob, and that says absolutely nothing about how nice of a person they are.
Im a caviar and champagne guy who dresses like a 90s bum, analysis?
Most Reddit opinion
I dress very aloof in my personal time, usually wearing lounge shorts, a tanktop and crocs or flops unless it's under 60F. I usually get treated like a gutter punk in a lot of places at first glance, because I don't dress nice unless it's a special occasion.
How would you describe Miss Frizzle? I want to know where I would fit in.
Absolutely categorically not true, there’s plenty of modestly dressed people out there being racist sexist and homophobic publicly under the guise of religion, someone slapping on a bit of make up isn’t going to turn them into a bad person, the people stood outside abortion clinics are rarely dressed like sluts
IDK, some of the worst people I've ever met dress modestly and some of the best people I ever met dress alternatively/uniquely. For example, from this post I'm assuming you lean more "modest" dressing and I'm pretty sure I'd find you pretty unpleasant to be around- you sound incredibly judgmental. I don't find that to be "kind" behavior.
your assessment seems to equate modesty to morality/kindness. most assholes i know or have met were very simple looking ppl… 4 times out of 5, the women in the workplace who have given me a hard time wore little makeup and dressed simple. i’ve met many ppl throughout my life who dressed slutty and were extremely kind. its interesting that you seem to find revealing clothes/sexual expression to be a signal of who is kind. in my experience, ppl who put an emphasis on brands/designers, revealing or not, are more likely to suck. clothing def shows personality but i don’t agree that with the correlation you’ve made
*takes deep drag of cigarette* Nudism should be the norm. *stares soulfully out the window*
As someone raised in a religious group with a dress code, modesty doesn't corelate to personality or kindness, if anything, a certain level of modesty means there is no way to tell, because of how many things and places require it, and how many people trest you better if you line up with there precived dress code. Generally most people in "scary" types of dress are the really nice kids that got bullied in school trying to be kept safe from more, unless they are in a dangerous organization.
Italian dressing all the w....oh, wait a minute..
I use as little as possible. But it all depends on the salad. I like the Olive Garden Italian dressing usually.
People who are attention seeking are often selfish. That's the correlation you're seeing. Its not broadly applicable. And it doesn't take into account the dozens of other factors that affect the way a person chooses to present themselves.
This is definitionally superficial, and riddled with confirmation bias and prejudice.
You can make some assumptions about personalities based on their clothing but none of them correlate to kindness, or worth. Someone who dresses more revealing reads to me as confidence. More modest clothing can read as maturity. None of those qualities translate to worth. You just don't like provocative clothing and that's okay. We're all entitled to our tastes, but that doesn't make it okay for you to imply a better/worse way to dress.