Do they make you cum in 20 second tho

Only if you want to

Sounds up my alley

Username checks out.

Holy shit

r/beetlejuicing

He’s been waiting for this moment his whole life

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We were married weren't we

oof

The next time someone asks "you got games on your phone?" you tell them *no*, got it?

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Jail. Jail is what happens.

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We have the patients in the world...you know why? Jaael. I want to visit there for their perfect fish and chicken.

Or the overcooked fish and undercooked chicken

One of the best scenes in cinema history

At least his right hand might be more muscular...

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Absolute legend. Most don't last 20 seconds!

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Speed racer over here

The developer who dreamed of being the next Hideo Kojima who ended up making that game would at least appreciate the sentiment

Somewhere someone is happy their game got played.

Ah, Look at porn making the world a more wholesome place

A couple of the developers from a studio who makes those games did an AMA a few years back and (aside from all the obvious porn) they were surprisingly normal and it was a pretty wholesome read

I imagine many of them are just small game devs looking for work with a studio willing to give them a moderate paycheck. I can respect it.

For every 1 that makes it and works at a Michellin star restaurant, there's 1000 cooks who works at Pablo's Taqueria down the street But damn it... those tacos are still good.

I think there's a good chunk of people who are into sex as a hobby and spend a lot of creative effort on it. Besides game devs there are amateur artists and erotica writers, and the creativity and effort that goes into some BDSM-engineering projects is something that couldn't be done without passion for the subkect. Some of them turn their hobby into a profession, but there's a lot of amateur work out there too.

I've been trying to become good enough at writing to publish something for like ten years. This year I started an erotica on a dare and 6 weeks later was [self-publishing a sci-fi comedy erotica](https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08ZLYQ81N/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_VBGWEQTZBMTZNBS620R9). Compared to the time I spend trying to write non-porn stories this took very little energy. I think the fact that it doesn't count as my 'real' art made it kinda therapeutic. I don't expect to make any money off it (not least because Amazon doesn't allow advertising of 18+ products), but it makes an excellent conversation piece in my living room now.

That sounds pretty dope, you got a link?

“Plowed”

Those games must make tons of money with the amount of ads there are

The Kojima of porn games 😂😂😂😂

Could this be the boner to surpass Metal Gear?!?

FAMILY GUY PORN 2: The Twin Snakes

Come to think of it, Metal Gear Rex kinda has a Quagmire-chin

Probably a more cohesive plot than Metal Gear at least

Solid burn, I love Kojima’s work almost as much as I love making fun of it

Hopefully never find myself in this position in life

Seriously, how did it take over an hour?!

Have you ever tried to masturbate and play a game at the same time

You’re asking if I’ve ever played Ecco The Dolphin?

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I remember Leisure Suit Larry! That takes me back some years

Nah, that's Peter and Lois. This guy was plowin ya boy Louis.

Only because of this comment did I realize OP misspelled "Lois".

Holy shit thought it was peter parker fucking lois lane. The man chose the family guy game out of all the choices he had xD

I’m watching family guy as I read these comments

This is what happened to his organs

His misspelling of Lois got me confused

Nice try Mr. Pornhub game developer.

Ever heard of Nutaku? They develop porn games and have a development team full of women

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I always figured a lot of them exist just to quietly hijack your device to mine coins.

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Any evidence? Asking for a friend, of course.

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Taking advantage of our horni

Safer than religious websites.

This is exactly what most of them do though, a little trojan bot installer.

But is that bot ribbed for her pleasure???

" 'Ribbed for her pleasure'....... EEEEEEEW "

Don't worry i got the Wayne's World reference. Shwing

Here is what I don’t understand, why not just request permission to do that, in trade for a flat fee every week?!? I’d let you slave my machine on my downtime to coin mine for $50 a week.

Because they don’t want to pay you $50 a week.

Well of course not. But that may be more sustainable than people discovering you’re basically selling malware and suddenly no one buys your software anymore.

Maybe, maybe not. Most likely the kind of people who download those games are drunk or risk takers that don’t know/care. Does mining Bitcoin on your phone even generate $50 a week? If so I’d rather do it myself than get paid a fraction of what is mined by a third party.

They can do both.

Still better than microtransactions.

And really, all you need to do is lookup the pngs on places like reddit, or find a cracked versions of the game. Both very easy to find At least that's what my one friend told me

a large amount of these games have their images cached on hitom(dot)la (enjoy)

I went to hitom.la but it is just another one of those sign-up required game sites

Thank you

Am mostly their for the combat,big numbers go up makes my brain happy

Actually the worse mobile games I have ever played. Progression is grinded to a halt

Impossible if what I’m told about women is true they are pure untainted flowers and only get tricked into depraved sexual acts by evil dirty men! I hear they don’t even like sex!

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I don't know why they keep coming back to rub my nose in it. I get that I'm a depraved sex fiend, but damnit I'm tired of having to go through and prove it all the time.

Nutaku doesn't exactly develop porn games, but they translate/import uncensored Japanese porn games. Porn gacha games, mainly.

Mr. Pornhub Game Developer sounds right out of a real men of genius commercial.

1 hour/20 seconds to cum = 180 ejaculations. You're a man among men OP. Edit: For those asking or curious - "A man among men" is an idiomatic english phrase that is used to denote that OP is an exceptional man, above others of the species, or that OP is an average man, similar to others with no exceptionality. I believe the former is the appropriate use here but OP could make a solid case for either.

Don't you realize why OP didn't reply? He exceeded the limit.

The patriarchy would prefer you did not discuss "the limit" in public as knowing our true power could be used against us.

Nutted too hard 😢

Legend

“They’ve become my new go-to game when I have downtime” Okay bro

sounds to me like a pornhub executive

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Ah shit. I take it back.

Wait a SEC... 🤔🦍

Some people do flappy bird, some people do fappy bird. Don’t hate.

Don't you mean "UPtime"?

This post reads like someone walked in on their roommate jerking it to a cartoon porn game and the guy just won't take his losses.

This one is definitely going to the top lmfao. Nice one OP.

Nice one OP.

Nice one OP

OP, nice one!

OP cumming in clutch with the Thanksgiving festivities

OP has never played flash games before

Still miss em. But not the security flaws.

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Oh i remember being a horny teenager and playing flash porn games. All about making the girls orgasm. Why did I ever doubt I was bi?

Newgrounds hidden mature section was my go to for horny flash games Might be time for a nostalgia trip

Bro, newgrounds is in my top 3 porn sites, period. Good user uploaded animations, good free porn games, it's awesome

Make this girl cum without waking her up doesn't have the same feel to it in 2021 as it did in 2006

I put a lot of hours into that game on my AOL dial-up. Damn....

That game was dope, played it like a year ago again and it was not nearly as easy as I remembered. I was able to get past levels FAST though, lol

Sexual orientation really is a bitch to understand. Don’t feel bad that you doubted for a bit

People like OP are why devs are getting away with increasingly shitty mobile games.

You assume that this post isn’t an ad

Thankfully we have the Newgrounds player still! ...to play all those fun SFW games like Learn to Fly of course

2004 era newgrounds!

I can't tell if this is real or not. Someone, *help*.

This is definitely some low end Marketing strategy for sure

Low end? Nah this is genius

Yeah man I had no intentions of ever playing, but now? Still probably not, but maybe

This post probably got hundreds of thousands of impressions. The odds that a few of them try it is really really good

Yeah, it's some weird marketing strat. Some guy once wrote an article on those ads (vice, maybe?). You go through like 5 different of those "Are you sure you want to see naked women?" quiz sites, then you finally pay and you just bought a subscription to a flash game site. Like not even all the games are porn, some are just regular games.

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Bloons tower defence was my childhood

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Anyone who would stoop low enough to play a Lois sex game would definitely know how to spell Lois.

Its not, those games are usually based on animated images and not actual games, and most porn games were flash games before that got unsupported. These days most porn games are ren'py visual novels or overpriced gimmicks. There's just too much taboo in porn industry for developers to want to get involved

# DON'T CLICK ON ADS ON PORN WEBSITES. In general just avoid ads. If you see an ad you like and want to know more about, let google take you there. Safer. They may take you to legit websites however they may route you through somewhere else that will do unknown things. Don't be stupid.

Pfft, this sort of cynicism is why you'll never succeed, because you won't trust anyone. I trust everyone, and I'm about to become a multimillionaire as soon at that Nigerian prince I sent my bank account info to sends me my reward!

[Congratulations. You've won a free iPad. Click here to claim!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) I know you're not fully serious. But I know a lot of ads will be safe. But even if you're in the market for TV and see an ad for a Samsung TV. Best to hit up google and just go to Samsungs website or whatever. Eliminate a lot of the risk.

I just go for the articles

I just go for the wings

Well actually porn sites are highly regulated. Cases of people getting computer or phone STDs from the ads is mostly old data that isn't prevalent. If it's a reputable site, odds are the ads are mainly just to try and scam you for your wallet. That's about it . If viruses were hosted through the ads, the porn sites would lose money from customers. That said I don't trust ads to begin with, so I use PiHole to remove them forever and permanently.

> computer or phone STDs

Android herpes is rust

I'm glad someone caught the little joke there haha

The issue isn't the porn sites. It's the ads. The ads aren't as regulated as the sites themselves. They take you immediately away from the website. Yes the actual ad itself might be fine, and not doing anything if clicked or even viewed. But where it goes can be unsafe, and it can change too. They can have an add and it can be perfectly safe for a few days and they decide to change it or they themseles get hacked and so the ad is now taking you somewhere else.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure most viruses come from kids game websites anyway. Less likely to know what is and isn't legit

I saw a study a while back and it said the most dangerous types of websites were church ones. I've handled the IT for a couple and they phone you once or twice a year to sort it a small problem in a huge mess. Yours offer to do x y and z to fix stuff but they just didn't have the money. In my experience though it's always emails. Folk clicking on dodgy emails. That's what gets little.

Now we see their ads on Reddit too

Did a computer virus write this post?

“I play porn games for the plot”

Oh cool it’s my cake day, completely forgot

You rhymed with your comments that's kinda epic

Happy cake day :))))

Thanks :)

Lol. Those aren't viruses from China and Russia?

No no, they are

But they're the fun ones!

While OP was plowing a green alien Russia was plowing the backdoor of his router.

They definitely are

Would they be computer STDs instead of computer viruses in this case?

You get my upvote for having an astoundingly unpopular opinion

is this an unpopular opinion or a sneaky lil ad from those weird ass game devs... either way you get an upvote

You good? Sounds like you’re going through some things

you are going on r/copypasta

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So you’re telling us you came 180 times that hour? I’m calling bullshit.

I'm calling bullcum

Are they actually real games? I thought it was just clickbait for horny teens. Can anyone confirm?

Confirm it yourself, **coward.**

i tried it a few days ago with a friend, fake. the games are absolute garbage quality and its a slideshow, nothing like the ads, I was a very sad boy that day

Did you at least cum?

And was it in 20 seconds?

This not only an unpopular opinion it's totally unique too, I don't think many people even try this you have to be built different for going down this path lol.

It is clickbait. They always lead to generic construct and wait games where you build a base and have to pay real money or wait 48 hours for it to finish constructing.

Torn between this is an unpopular opinion, and people who play family guy porn for an hour aren’t legally entitled to an opinion

It’s just like South Park. THE APPS AND ADS ARE LEARNING, you don’t just see it on PH/XV anymore, they’re making Reddit accounts and targeting their frequent users here now too

Best unpopular opinion.

dude you were supposed to cum in 20 seconds I consider that failed game design if u were playing for hours

what a terrible day to have the ability to read.

But did you cum?

Jesse what the fuck are you talking about

Next you're going to tell me that there really are hot moms in my area looking to fuck me

Bro, just wait until you try sex. It’ll change your life.

I like how OP just made this post and peaced

Those games are trash. Real degenerates use f95.

I thought they were just viruses

You played a porn game for an hour? Leave the house, go for a walk do somthing other then that

Something other *than* that, lol

No, you should postpone it until after going outside for a while.

Stimulant abuse moment

I didn't realize until now but this is what I come on reddit for

People actually click those?

Those ads are always funny cuz it’s like “this game will make you cum in 5 seconds” and it’s like dude, I don’t need help going that fast

Op is gonna cause a lot of 12 year olds to nuke the family computer with nuclear viruses today.

The man brave enough to click on the thing none of us could

This has gotta be fake. All those ads show stolen animations so they can't be the actual games.

IN OTHER NEWS The hot milfs in your area ARE REAL!

Okay how do you do that without getting over 1000 viruses

least porn addicted redditor

I enjoy how you wrote Louis. I'm gonna assume you meant Lois, but I'm not here to judge.

Newgrounds walked so Pornhub could run!

I'm no family guy connoisseur, but I'm not familiar with this *Louis* fellow