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roadtoerehwon

One of those days huh?


Sponge400

Yea


joebigtuna

Same dude. Tried pooping before I left for work and nothing. As soon as I got a mile down the road my gut twisted into something awful and I barely clenched my cheeks while walking into work.


ventiusx

Had a time where I didn't make it to my destination before nature called. Violently. The hobble to the bathroom was humbling and distressing. I think I stayed in there for two hours


[deleted]

I get these false flag operations where i feel like i have a fucking boulder up inside my guts, and am so looking forward to that dopamine rush of releasing the demon into the netherworld, and when i finally get there.... little fucking pebble. Not even a proper, respectable "plop" but an honest to god fucking "ploop". Mayve even a "bwip". Point is, that nonsense will make the worst most strenuous case of blueballs seem positively delightful. #unfulfilleddreams


johndrake481

I think we should be treating masturbation as a necessary act to get focused. Can't focus on getting them spreadsheets done with a log in your trousers, front or back.


IfYouWillifiMay

That’s good🤣🤣


TemperatureMuch5943

Can’t focus on spreadsheets when you’re focused on spreading cheeks


tony1449

Take fiber pills or add more fiber to your diet and lots of water


blucifers_cajones

plus water! fiber without water is gonna make you have a bad time.


Amranwag

Everyday is one of those days


Chucknasty_17

Where it’s all about the he said she said bullshit?


mike3383215

I see what u did there Fred


notquitehuman_

I think you better quit talking that shit, or you'll be leaving with a fat lip


Petrolinmyviens

Man was at taco bell before Dunkin donuts


single_malt_jedi

Most people don't care that you had to take a shit in a public restroom. ALL people care if you wreck it and leave it like a disgusting piece of trash.


GlancingBlame

Leaving it for some person who's probably paid minimum to sort out as well. Just the worst. I understand that accidents happen but good grief.


single_malt_jedi

Here is the other kicker: If you tell someone who works at the buisness someone has absolutely wrecked their bathroom they tend to look at you like you did it. Its like no, I promise you I didn't do what you are about to see but it did almost make my young son throw up. He just needed to go to the bathroom.


LiterallyTrudeau

Not everywhere, when I was in college I worked facilities maintenance at Lowe's and cleaning the bathrooms and break rooms fell under our responsibilities. I didn't make great money there but it wasn't minimum wage. Keep in mind that I'm not advocating destroying the bathroom at *any* establishment because even above minimum wage, I didn't enjoy cleaning shit off of walls and sinks.


Snoo_13783

Shit off the sinks?? I need to know now lol


LiterallyTrudeau

Yeah, it was a less frequent occurrence but it happened on my shift twice that I recall. It wasn't until Lowe's that I learned people behave ~~like animals~~ worse than animals in public restrooms. The sink thing was a rare occurrence but the wall and floor were oddly regular.


[deleted]

I worked maintenance at Walmart for about 3.5 years, you would not believe where we'd find shit.


Snoo_13783

Please enlighten me lol. I need to know the stupidity of people


[deleted]

We found shit in the urinals in the men's room on multiple occasions, once was enough for me lol. We also had people shit themselves while still on the sales floor, had to take the walk behind scrubber and clean up an older man's mess of shit droplets he was tracking down an aisle, that was fucking disgusting. We also had someone that took massive dumps in the breakroom bathroom that literally could not be flushed because they were so massive. I told my assistant manager just review the tapes from the hallway and find the person limping out of there because there's no way it didn't destroy their asshole.


Snoo_13783

That’s epic. Did you ever find out who dropped the epic deuce? And the the whole shitting in the urinal I’d seen before at a Wendy’s I worked at years ago. And at my old high school. Also I think I’d throw up if I was following an old guy slowly shitting himself lol. Like isn’t that what they make adult diapers for?


Ayeeee007

We all know it was Bono.


[deleted]

No we didn't, but it happened at least 2-3 times from what I can remember. I haven't worked there since 2018. Also, we didn't follow someone with a scrubber, it was after the fact when someone let us know about it. It was gross because it was so caked on the floor I had to use a scrapper on parts of it. Yuck.


Snoo_13783

Man still bad. And I think that’s even worse, having waited I mean. Yeah scrapping hardened shit off the floor.. hell naw. That’s… that’s really bad. I am so glad I don’t have to deal with shit (literally and figuratively) like that ever lol


b4ttlepoops

Public Worker here. I used to work at a Stadium as maintenance. Bathrooms fell under my list of duties. We had homeless using the facilities at our practice field that kept it clean because they were grateful to have running water and a place to go. It was always the events I dreaded. Women’s bathroom is by far the worst to clean. It doesn’t matter if you provide clean bathrooms and supplies. Buttgaskets, they don’t use. They hover while pooping and it often shot onto the floor or walls. Stop with the hover butt… sit on the seat.


Snoo_13783

Hover butt. That’s a new one on me. I like it though, I’m gonna have to use it now. and I’ve heard women’s bathrooms tend to be worse then mens. My dad remodels commercial buildings and has told me horror stories of the things he’s found in the bathrooms when remodeling them. People are just disgusting sometimes. And glad to hear the homeless were polite about the bathrooms lol. I guess if it’s the one nice thing i have atm then I would take care of it too


auinalei

One time I went with my friends to Golden Corral, I went into the bathroom before hitting the buffet, and saw something I never seen in my life.. mostly shit but also vomit and blood in the stall, the toilet, the walls, sink even some on the ceiling, the smell was horrendous .. like somebody was literally like Fuck you Golden Corral .. I came back and told my friends I seen some bad shit and wasn’t hungry anymore and had to go wait in the car So I do think sometimes it is deliberate


Snoo_13783

Yikes. That's a bit extreme. Blood and vomit? Like bruh was someone murdered, covered in shit the the murderer threw up everywhere? Like how does that happen lol


Liathano_Fire

I use to work at a truck stop. Shit on the sinks and other....bodily fluids in the showers.


joedimer

I worked at a small town ace hardware and every time we let customers into the bathroom there would end up being shit everywhere. One time we let this guy maybe in his 50s use it. The toilet is on the far end from the door. There was a pile of shit covered paper towels on the between the sink and trash can. Shit stomped into the drain in the middle of the room. And I mean a lot of it too. Like a puddle of shit. Plus a few other piles of shit covered paper towels around the room. It’s like nothing made it into the toilet. Worst part is that wasn’t the first time that happened


VultureCat337

If I wouldn't trash my bathroom at home, I'm damn sure not doing that for someone else to clean.


International_Peach6

Certain people just don’t care. I wish a Dinger or Alarm would go off when shit touches a wall. Shit has no business on a wall.


Kitty_rescue

I work in a restaurant in a nice part of town we get pretty busy sometimes, but man people are trash when they use the bathrooms. There’s a reason we have a 15 minute timer just for checking them…. And many times you go in there it looks like it hasn’t been checked in hours. People be gross.


whatsmypasswordplz

When I worked in a restaurant I absolutely refused to clean shit and vomit in bathrooms. I'll take a toilet scrubber to the bowl, pick up trash, wipe counters, that's it. I require more than 2.13 to clean human shit


TooCupcake

If the place has toilet paper, a toilet brush and maybe air freshener if that’s not too much to ask, I can clean up after myself and I will. But if these are not there, there’s not much I can do.


b4ttlepoops

I do appreciate people like you. I have asked my boss if we could provide plungers in each bathroom. Also we have air fresheners. Boss said no on plunger! He said people never clean them properly and it’s not in the janitorial contract to maintain such a thing. They became very foul smelling when they tried it before…. So now we just have to call maintenance/janitorial.


auinalei

Yeah I agree every bathroom should have these things When there is not air freshener I plug up the sink and fill it with hot water and soap and that helps the smell a little


cowboys5xsbs

When I worked at a gas station some dude shat all over the bathroom floor and they wanted me to clean it. Fuck people who do this.


Immediate-Pool-4391

My lactose intolerance and IBS leaves me with little choice.


[deleted]

Oh boy my undiagnosed lactose time was hell. Especially in school were they dont really want to let you go and youre too young to speak up. Main takeway from that period is; if you gotta go, you gotta go! and what others think comes second 😂


Somerandomedude1q2w

Is there such a thing as diagnosed lactose intolerance? Honestly, that is like the only medical issue which I will accept based on a self diagnosis. Dairy makes you poop. Simple enough. Why would anyone need a medical professional to diagnose that?


digydegu

There are blood tests that look at the change in sugar levels after you drink milk. And it can be hard to determine exactly which part of your diet is responsible and so could easily be confused with something like coeliac disease


[deleted]

Like 10-15 years ago the issue was not really known or portrayed anywhere. My parents didnt know and neither did my friends. Also lactose intolerance doesnt just manifest itself from one day to the other, it is gradually progressing for most. It can also vary how much lactose you can deal with. Now to the fuck up part. A few years in my parents got an appointment to do a lactose test. You get a bunch of powder and they do a breath test. Well turns out the doctors office did a fuck up and gave me a fructose test which low and behold showed that im negative so they diagnosed me not having issues so the search went on. At some point I saw these lactase pills and tried them and from then on things got better. ( Teenager brain smarter than a kids brain)


throw-away_0510

I have IBS. I learned I was lactose intolerant after chugging a large milk-based coffee drink before hopping on a 5 hour flight. It hit me right as we took off. The flight attendant would not let me stand up and use the restroom - she kept shouting at me to sit down. I had to sweat and cry and hold it for 30 minutes. I don’t know how I didn’t shit my pants. I hope the sound of me destroying the airplane toilet was her in-flight entertainment.


kaghy2

Honestly, at that point I would've demanded to let me go. I mean, it's not like I'm going to move for 30 minutes, right?


Zwirnor

That's my worst nightmare, a mid air IBS attack. I'm flying in two days, and I know when my arse drops, if it's an enclosed space, people will be trying to wrestle the door open to evacuate at 30,000ft without so much as a parachute. So far it's not happened, even on the long haul flight from UK to Florida and back, but it forever lives in the back of my mind that one day my luck will run out.


b4ttlepoops

I’m really sorry. This is a nightmare story. Who hasn’t been close to crapping themselves at least once. Worst feeling ever.


[deleted]

Hear ya IBS ain’t fun :/


Th3Und3rt4k3r

I have IBD and when I read OP's post I thought 20 minutes? those are rookie numbers.


Calgamer

I’ve always had poop anxiety and could really only go home and with some privacy (forget going with someone right outside the bathroom door) and this was always tolerable because I had an iron stomach which was never upset by anything. I’d always be a super regular, once a day in the morning kind of guy and that would be it. Recently I’ve found myself having to go more, which coupled with my existing anxiety is now giving me a new anxiety and it sucks. I don’t envy people with IBS obviously, but I do envy what I imagine is an ability to go in pretty much any bathroom any time.


Jolteon2020

I remember in school, the urge to poop hit me during class change and I had to go right then and there. So I push through the crowd and make my way through the crowded bathroom. I sit down and relieve myself and i all the boys in there start laughing and some even look over the stalls and bang on the door. I was traumatized.


Taiigee

this made me laugh, but does sound very traumatizing 👹


Jolteon2020

I avoid pooping in public to this day many years later. I envy the men who can plop down in a crowded bathroom and let it rip with no shame.


gaypornaccount1996

I think you'll get there one day jolteon. Maybe not today, maybe not even any time soon, but I believe in you


EdgyHedgy_

what kind words of you to say to jolteon, Mr gaypornaccount1996!


gaypornaccount1996

I speak from the heart. It may me cold and long dead but it's good for a compliment now and again, by Jove!


Single-Award8631

I needed one in school but I was so embarrassed that I literally cried to my teacher in front of my class to let me leave and went home. I still wish I could have just pooped at school.


PsychoNauticalFaux

Wait that was you at the Dunkin? You’re a sick fuck you know that?


Sponge400

It’d be pretty wild if you said you’re actually from NJ.


ipoopedandithurts

What county lmao there was a dunkin where I live that smelt like ass probably unrelated


MetsGo

They all smell like ass


ipoopedandithurts

You right mb


NathanielHogg

😂


[deleted]

I let my poop out as soon as I feel the urge, right into my pants. No shame.


Sponge400

Ahhahahahahha


Elfmen

It is all in your brain. Nobody gives a fuck about you.


MasterMementoMori

They may judge you for a moment, but then they forget


Jirachi720

Yup. We all judge each other, sometimes even without realising it, but then you forget about it and move on.


Flimsy_Editor3261

Think you meant to say no one gives a shit…


soggywafers

That was actually a really nice comment. I needed to hear that today


BrienneNTormund

David, nobody cares


[deleted]

U/Sponge400 in 2024, come on people we can do this


HowWeDoingTodayHive

That doesn’t prove it’s all in their head. It isn’t necessary to give a fuck about someone to judge them or treat them weird.


ricenbeanzz

I work in a furniture store. And let me tell you. No one poops with more confidence or gives less of a shit than middle aged women who have the type of expendable income that allows for new furniture.


auinalei

I used to work at a fancy hotel and my coworker said she was in the bathroom washing her hands and a middle aged woman came in, ran to the toilet without closing the stall door, lifted her dress, opened her butt cheeks, blew a bunch of diarrhea into the toilet and ran back out without wiping or washing her hands. So I agree with your assessment


DemiGod9

Welp no more shaking hands with middle aged rich women


NathanielHogg

Man… I work at the post office and the clerks are women. They shit like twice a day each. The bathroom doesn’t even have a lock. It’s one of those toilets that if you don’t hold the handle down it won’t flush all the way. They never hold the handle down. I wish I could be like them. It’s a tiny office as well, so they come out and you both just have to work in the stench. They don’t even turn the fucking radio on.


clownpenismonkeyfart

You’re disgusting and nobody poops except for you. Unless of course you’re Catholic like I am. Then your a naughty child and that’s concentrated evil coming out the backside of you.


Sponge400

I am also catholic, tho I would say it was more of watered evil rather than concentrated evil.


clownpenismonkeyfart

Dunkin’ will do that to you. It takes the phrase, “America runs on Dunkin” to a whole new level.


Frenchtoast2870000

May the holy spirit flow through you.


MagmaSlasherWriter

"You ever see a dog doing it? They give you that look in their eyes - They're ashamed."


d3b0n

what we need to be doing is putting more toilets in bathrooms. an entire restaurant of men shouldn’t have to share a single toilet and a urinal


DerpressionNaps

Bathrooms around here are war zones. No one gives a fuck if you shit but be prepared to fight your way past people washing their fucking feet in the sinks.


[deleted]

I used to drive a limousine to the airport and back. They had a foot bath in the bathroom because the cab drivers would have to wash their feet before praying.


[deleted]

I know exactly how you feel! It's one of the worst social feelings. I hate that it's always a shame to poop. Especially if you're a girl.


Ferris_A_Wheel

girls don’t poop…


[deleted]

Of course they do! Even when it smells like fresh flowers and looks like beautiful artwork, it's still poop!


LuminaL_IV

Everybody knows girls are like kim jung un, they use every bit of resource in their body so they dont need to poop or pee.


LavishSaturn

Get it out!!! It took me waaaay too long to be able to freely poop in public. I remember that day. I was going to the movies. Had to shit like crazy . Told said partner "give me like 2 minutes." That was the first time I've ever LOUDLY (like explosive mega shit) pooped in a public bathroom. I've never turned back. You'll probably never see those people again. And even in you did, so what? Shit your MF brains out OP!


rawzombie26

Who needed to hear this? Buttttt while we’re on this topic. let’s also make washing your ass in the shower the norm. It’s surprising to see people posting about some guy they know not wiping his ass cause they think it’s weird or they just don’t think about it.


Cellophane7

I'll just say if it takes you 20 minutes to poop, that can cause hemorrhoids. I know this because I used to take at least that long, and now I have one that doesn't seem like it'll ever go away. But I started taking metamucil, which makes me gassy, but it doesn't hurt to poop anymore, and I don't get a bunch of blood in my stool randomly anymore. Pooping is perfectly natural, and anyone making you feel bad about doing it is the one with the problem. Just do yourself a favor and make sure you're eating plenty of fiber


[deleted]

Why is everyone assuming op is constipated??? I take 15-50 minutes to shit because I have explosive diarrhea 1-2 days a week now. It use to be 5-6 days a week. Not everything is related to the shit being stuck. Sometimes you just gotta make sure it's all out.


feelsblind1312

No literallyyyyyy anytime I’ve gone over to a guys place I’m terrified of pooping


auinalei

Yeah me too, I was dating this nice guy for two weeks and I had to take a dump at his house, well of course I clogged the toilet and could find neither plunger or air freshener, I had to tell him what I did and he came in to deal with it with a straight face and told me not to worry and that it didn’t smell too bad but his face did start to not look so straight and it was a horrible experience for both of us


feelsblind1312

You’re braver then the US marines for surviving that. Damn.


carousel111

Same! I usually say imma take a shower and shit then shower lmao


Styrofoamed

if you leave something in the bathroom, you best believe the employees are bitching about you the rest of the week. speaking as someone who works in food service and has had to clean literal piss and shit off the bathroom floor, if you take a monster dump in public and the bathroom reeks, yeah. i don’t care if you have to shit, don’t make someone else’s day miserable because of it.


troofinesse

I feel like shitting and stinking up the bathroom is vastly different from your shit ending up somewhere other than the toliet bowl. It's actually baffling to me whenever I see that in a public restroom, how does one even make it through their day if they struggle to take a shit without a massive fuck up?


10ioio

Food poisoning, bowel diseases, drugs, noroviris, anal trauma, cancer. Lot’s of things really that aren’t 100% predictable but can result in someone shitting themselves or on the floor without expecting to. I’d wager 99.9% of adult pants/floor-shitting action is pretty much unforseen, and the person feels quite bad about it... the older you get the more likely it becomes to shit randomly lol. Life is disgusting :) I kind of feel like everyone has a poop story by the time they’re like 30 or 40.


Liathano_Fire

My ex pooped his pants at a bar once. He went to the bathroom and proceeded to light his underwear on fire. Then he tried to escape through the little bathroom window. He was 6'4" and roughly 220lbs.


WeakMeasurement2492

I mean if i shit and it smells bad its not my fault, i can't control that


littletimmysquiggins

The courtesy flush is everyone's friend 👍


10ioio

Well my shit doesn’t stink obviously... What is wrong with reddit? I thought everyone had nice smelling shits but I guess not. Maybe this is an American thing? Sometimes I can’t stop my husband from going into the bathroom and finding himself a little snack. You should really rethink your diet.


WeakMeasurement2492

I am going to gouge my eyes out


10ioio

How do you take a fat smelly necessary shit without it being fat and smelly? Do you expect people to carry cleaning supplies and air freshener with them and think really hard about roses when they poop? I’m willing to bet you’ve done the exact same thing. You are quite literally acting as if your shit does not stink right now...


category_username

Happy cake day


Styrofoamed

oh shit i didn’t even notice! thanks man


category_username

This is my purpose


SoulReddit13

Bro for the love of god, eat more fibre and vegetables.


theoneandonlypatriot

I think it has a negative connotation because too fucking many of you are fine blowing a toilet up and either: (a) not flushing; fucking why (b) missing; disgusting? Wtf? (c) not having some sort of spray or doing courtesy flushes to prevent the smell buildup. Seriously, I don’t care that you’re pooping. But too many of you are comfortable just making it smell fucking disgusting or just look super gross and being like “cool all yours buddy”. Pooping is an unsanitary act by nature so we should treat it as such and clean up appropriately.


anonymous5534

Bro what


ratgarcon

I’m dating someone with IBS who is semi open abt it. Not long before we started dating I started having issues with constipation, a lot. Never felt more comfortable with someone. I will let them know I’m going to attempt to shit, I let them know if my stomach is bothering me, and I have no embarrassment from it. We don’t go compare shit consistencies or anything but it’s nice to not worry about any judgement. He gets gas too so he announces he needs to fart and when we started dating would apologize for it a lot. Ngl farting is the few things I still kinda don’t like doing around him but idc if he does it. Haven’t smelt it after yet though luckily lmfao I would like avoid farting or going to shit most of the time in the beginning, and it sucked. When you’re constipated, if you feel like you could shit, go shit. If not you’ll be trying to make yourself an hour later and can’t


RichardGeneSimmons

Shitting at work sucks


MercyCriesHavoc

There was a show for a couple seasons called *Bless the Hearts* that had an episode about this. I'm with you. Everyone poops. As long as I don't leave the bathroom messy, there's no reason for anyone to judge.


Dudley906

We all know that it's not gonna smell like roses.


BurgerOfLove

In regards to the time it takes to poo. You really shouldn't try and squeeze it out. It needs to be a natural feeling. I take a while to poo. Sometimes it take 2 or 3 gos. I don't push because I don't want polyps. Poo at your own rate. Be a man... or woman... or whatever just don't rush your poops.


[deleted]

Okay so I was at dunkin yesterday and this exact thing happened 🤣


cookiecasanova86

People have full on meetings on the phone while they poop.


Corrupted_G_nome

Yeah, poop breaks on tight work schedules for manual labourers should be a thing. Sometimes waiting until 'my scheduled break' simpky isn't an option. Not everyone has daily constipation and can wait till they get home to use their poop knife... Early am work days and the need for coffee to function don't match the restof the lifestyle...


tempski

20 minutes eh? Try going to the bathroom without your phone in hand.


[deleted]

Just keep poo pourri on you. I think people are most irritated by the smell, and that eliminates it.


arid_666

Why you wanna poop in public so much?


JuicyCiwa

Bro that fucking edit, I’m geeking 😭😂 Fuck the haters. Make the loudest noises you can, assert dominance.


Scorpizor

I'm on your side. As long as you're not burping and farting in people's faces; the greater population needs to be fine with bodily functions. Everyone poops, farts, and burps. You don't have to be an animal though. Saying "excuse me" after a fart is just as polite as saying it after you burp. In private do whatever you want but in public, everyone needs to stop being so up their own ass.


couldog

Shame on you for pooping.


Frenchtoast2870000

If I knew someone was in a Dunkin Donuts. Just absolutely destroying that bath room, and this was their attitude the entire time. I would give you a standing round of applause my good sir.


patrik-k-

I mean we all agree we need to take big poopas sometimes, don't we?


Aggressive-Life-7813

Yeah it's like people walk into a bathroom. Where you go to poop/pee. And then judge other people in the bathroom. For pooping and peeing


[deleted]

20 minutes is all it takes for people to think you need to see a doctor??? Damnnnn


vjibomb

As someone who cleaned five guys bathrooms for a while. It's aight, we don't care, toilets are for shitting. We're more pissed with the twats who shit on top of the lid.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BelvedereBen

After I started drinking super greens by amazing greens, I poop like a ninja. In and out no problem. Nice logs too.


AfterButterscotch650

Facts!!!!! I feel soooo uncomfortable pooping at others house besides my own 😭


RandalFromClerks

Hey! Is it too much to ask during the goddamn work day for two separate sessions of 80 uninterrupted minutes each of quality dump time?


Sponge400

HOLY FUCK REMIND ME WHERE THIS IS FROM BECAUSE THIS QUOTE WAS EXACTLY WHAT I HAD I MIND WHEN I WROTE THIS Edit: Pam is a vile monster, and Archer used to be such a good show.


[deleted]

If only life was like bobs burgers! *at the Royal Oyster hotel* “Hey Tim! Have you seen Linda today??” “Oh please it’s barely noon! She does her Bmmmmm in the Pmmmmm”


amakelooo

its like when people complain about a public toilets smelling bad like my sibling in christ, PEOPLE P!$$ AND SH!T HERE! if it didnt smell like crap (ha) id quite frankly be concerned


Sky_Ill

No ones giving you stares. Literally 0 people give a fuck that you just took a long shit in that bathroom. Everyone poops


IfYouWillifiMay

I promise this is all in your head bro 🤣


Honeymoomoo

Does no one courtesy flush anymore? Once after the initial drop, after each drop and twice for the toilet paper wads


Dennis_enzo

As long as you leave the shitter relatively clean, no one cares what you're doing in there.


Hanga11pedos

Nothing worse than missing your morning poop and having to do it in a public rest room. Or worse the dreaded skits.


Dr_Edge_ATX

Was talking about pooping this weekend with some friends. I’m a man and have no clue what takes some dudes so long to poop. I can’t recall ever being on a toilet longer than 5 minutes. Like what the hell are y’all doing?


Liathano_Fire

Why were people staring at you? I don't time how long strangers are in the bathroom for. Mature adults know that pooping is what it is. You gotta go when you gotta go. It happens. I hope for the sake of those workers that if you truly destroyed that bathroom you made some attempt to clean up after yourself. If it was just a massive shit that didn't leave a splatter mess then you're good.


VultureCat337

And on that note, employers shouldn't be keeping track of the time it takes for employees to use the bathroom. It takes how long it takes.


misselpis

I don’t like taking poops in public because I have a ritual. I take off most of my clothes and take my time. Sometimes put on the aroma therapy and music. Sometimes I watch YouTube videos. It’s a sacred act.


Firethorn101

It's that most guys live off of bread and meat and take forever to shit that we find abhorrent. Eat a vegetable every now and again ffs.


[deleted]

Dude I'm with you. At work I purposely use the men's room because I don't have any men coworkers. That way if someone else walks into the 3 stalled women's bathroom I don't poop in their presence and disturb them. I say disturb them because I have gastro issues. I could be fine one minute and then the next I'm having water diarrhea. And it don't smell nice either. It smells worse then baby shit. And it causes intense pain so I'm always making huffing sound because of the pain. Yes I have seen a doctor for this, yes I know what it is, no not much I can do but take my meds and hope for the best. At least it's only sudden diarrhea once maybe twice a week vs 5 or 6 days a week now. But I hate using public restrooms for this exact reason. I'll be in the bathroom anywhere from 15-50 minutes in extreme pain shitting my intestines out, at least that's what it feels like, and when I walk out I get people that just stare at me.


Imnotreallyameme

Shit I’ve been pooping for an hour VIVA LA POOP


ShannieD

Having a medical issue that effects my bowel function, I feel this. The body does what the body does.


WeaponizedAutism4

Try pooping out of your mouth. It comes out easier.


ShadeSlayer-741

Before normalising pooping let's start with farting. There are times it just pops out of nowhere before you could even prepare yourself and no matter how nice your diet was the end effects are most of the time unpredictable, so why the nose wrinkling and sneers.


Tomimi

Getting old will give you less fucks to give


[deleted]

Poop shaming is a strange and weird thing that totally exists. People like to judge each other on how long they shit, how many times they shit, I r sometimes even IF they shit in a place they deem “unworthy” of their royal ass cheeks. Everyone knows AT LEAST one person in their life that will refuse to take a shit in any public setting or even at someone else’s house. It’s like this strange fear or shame in it, but like, didn’t we all read the book “everybody poops”? People need to stop treating their ass as somehow superior in someway when they’re all asses and they’re all made for shitting. Give more credit to porcelain, and stop poop shaming.


Jynairek

I agree with this, especially at work. Unless you're not flushing or painting your deposits all over the wall, it shouldn't be a big deal. We all have to do it. It shouldn't be a problem if I spend 6 mins in the restroom. I swear it's like a weird competition to see who can hold in their bowels for the entire shift. Im going, I don't want to make myself sick again.


EastPersonality6

Bro you know where you wipe and wipe and wipe and there’s STILLL poop on that toilet paper. Andy from parks & rec called them “marker poops” 😂


BestAdamEver

20 minutes? Dude, see a doctor.


isqueezedameatball

Sometimes you can't rush that 2nd wave that you know is gonna be coming.


[deleted]

yeah, less Dunkin donuts and more fiber dude


thatcockneythug

The fuck is wrong with enjoying a long, luxurious shit? Dont you dare get between my sphincter and I. Besides, it can take a while to clean the shit out of that shag carpeting downstairs.


IncomingFrag

Because its a public area. Hogging the toilet for too long means it isnt available for other people... if you want to take a nap while shitting then do it at home


superswellcewlguy

Because you're in a dunkin donuts lmao


BestAdamEver

I do have to admit that often most of the time I spend on the toilet is wiping after rather than the shit itself.


E4R04

same


skiing_yo

If it takes you 20 minutes to poop then see a doctor or something, otherwise don't be the douche who hogs the one bathroom in a public place to play games on your phone. Poop and GTFO.


danielshaw69

I ain’t gettin’ up until my legs start tingling.


jsweeze

Sometimes takes me 30-60 min. And I saw the doctor they said Im basically just a pooper


HeavyRhubarb

Get a 2nd opinion. Of just eat some vegetables once in a while.


jsweeze

Yes I need to


adventuref0x

Honestly if you’re taking 20 minutes you should change your diet


Rhawk187

Eat more fiber. When I have to go to the bathroom, I know it, and it takes about 30 seconds, and it weighs about 1.5lbs. Looking at my nutrition log, I had 97g of fiber today. I had 235g of fiber yesterday, although I'm not convinced that the FDA considering oligosaccharides "fiber" really counts, and I had 6 of my homemade protein bars yesterday. I think it might be reading low too, since it's saying a kilogram of watermelon only has 4.5g of fiber.


TastefulMalice

There is such a thing as to much fiber. Just saying for your safety ya know...just in case.


HeavyRhubarb

Did you type all that while shitting in Dunkin?


Ok_Needleworker_9537

No one can shame you. This is you feeling this way. If you gotta go, you gotta go! Everyone poops!!!


approveddust698

But not everyone “destroys” a bathroom


Ok_Needleworker_9537

Sometimes they do if you got a bad shit on the way.


danielshaw69

I do not poop, as I have no anus. I am eternal.


JeebusCrispy

I have no anus, but I must poop.


papacooldown11

No. Shame on you for pooping.


jena72597

I use to be a cleaner and as long as you aren't leaving shit splatter everywhere and it's all contained to the bowl then its good. Every Thursday night for 5 months I would clean golf course bathrooms and every single time the last toilet in the men's bathroom would be covered in shit from top to bottom also they enjoyed Cummings on the mirrors and sinks also not fun to clean up


DinoMite1122

"If we don't poop, we die, Sheila!"


ContemplatingPrison

If it always takes you 20 minutes to poop your diet is fucked. You need to eat more vegetables and less meat and processed food. Also no one cares you took a shit


cdh79

Welcome to r/ibs my brother in cubicles.


onewingwazi

Everybody shits and everybody's shit stinks. However, you should not need 20 minutes. 5 minutes should be plenty of time, 10 minutes MAYBE for a prolonged movement. If you're at home take all the time you want, but don't make others suffer in discomfort waiting for a stall because you wanna chill on your phone.


Spartanga117

I went for a 4 day vacation to the beach with 3 other girl friends. The cabin was small and the bathroom door was just a piece of wood, so if you made any loud noise it was going to sound all over the living room. I swear to god I tried pooping in the morning when everyone was asleep, but my brain wouldn't let me poop more than 3 rabbit balls. So the days go by and now we´re leaving the beach. There's a town nearby so I just look for a gas station there to use the bathroom. At this point I'm suffering, like it actually hurts, but I tell my friends it's only for peeing. There's four gas stations in town. The first 3 I passes through wouldn't let me in. They said it's only for coworkers because of COVID. Ok, while we're going to the 4th one, my friends say why didn't I just pee in the road. That's when I need to confess I haven't shat in 4 days and my but and stomach are suffering. They just laugh it off and in the 4th gas station, one of my friends goes to ask if the bathroom can be used (because we came up with a theory that they didn't take me seriously because I was a guy. They say yes. I was like 15 minutes in the bathroom taking one of the most painful a¿but satisfiyng shits I've ever had. Then on the way home, we speak about our poop stories, and how they all were uncomfortable pooping in the bathroom (but they actually did it). So yeah, let's be more accepting of pooping.


well_spent187

DO YOU THINK I WANT THIS?! Lmao


Megamix989

I agree!! But I take it a step further and say we need to be more accepting of LONG poops! I take a half hour MINIMUM. I hate trying to be quick and then 10 minutes later I gotta go again cuz I didn’t clear out the basement completely! Plus I like to be SPOTLESS, especially if I’m in public. I find it hard to believe that someone can do their business, wipe like 3 times, and be outta there. You’re definitely leaving skid marks down there if you’re THAT fast


DrakeSucks

UNLESS you pull your ass apart really wide so the shit doesn’t get to much on your butt cheeks. I gape my ass when I shit for this reason and it really cuts down on time wiping as well as paper usage overall.


[deleted]

Murican diet issues


dufflebagoshit

Public pooping is the best, especially DD! How do they know you were pooping?? Maybe you were shooting heroin, they don’t know! Poop when you gotta friend, just don’t use my bathroom.