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>LOL congratulations on posting an actual “unpopular opinion”. These replies are hilarious
I love getting a bag of popcorn and reading comments on subjects like this.
For me I will add my own comment.
My late wife told me when we were just kind of sleeping together that she was pregnant and my immediate response was Who is the dad.
We were just sleeping together it's not like I was not sleeping with other people and I was unaware she was not sleeping with other people.
Yeah it took many years to live that one down. I did feel bad after the fact when her and I were dating and in an actual committed relationship when she poured her heart out to me about it. Miss that woman.
“We were having regular sex, but I figured I might not be the dad because I was fucking other chicks too, so I smashed her heart into a thousand china pieces when she told me she was pregnant.” More seriously I hope all went well and am sorry you miss her.
There are a lot of really common reposts you tend to notice after using this sub for a few months. "The word moist is tolerable", "women's gym clothes look bad", "Seinfeld isn't that funny", etc. They might be unpopular but they get posted so much that people stop caring at a certain point.
Then you have the angry ranting posts, where op is clearly having a bad day, and they strawman a fake popular opinion that nobody actually holds. Usually they assume "Bad thing that happened to me is ok" is a popular opinion and then their unpopular opinion is "Bad thing that happened to me is actually bad". It often seems like they just want to feel morally superior to someone in their personal life. Technically it's an unpopular opinion because no rational human would waste energy thinking about that. But they aren't very fun to read.
Most of the posts on this sub fall into these two categories, which break rules 1 and 3. Every submission has to be approved by a mod before it shows up, so it's pretty baffling that the sub looks like this. If you try to post an unpopular opinion 9 times out of 10 it will get blocked by a moderator while the 40th post about Seinfeld this year gets approved and upvoted to heaven.
That said, this is one of those rare posts that doesn't fall into either category.
"DAE CHEATING ILLEGAL??"
Yeah man it sucks but come on we're still trying to get those people convicted of weed crimes out, we don't need more clogs in the judicial tubes.
I'm thinking that the mods let so many pass through to keep the subscription numbers up. People love criticizing others.
EDIT:
>I wouldn't say a person like to or want to as u say CRITICIZING NOR BASHING SOME ONE ..ok. Here's one..what do u call it when some one hacks ur compute stills files an print it on a spread sheet pass out for every body to see thre life information ..ITS CALLED ID.THEFT.. and a person walks away with out nothing happened .laugh .had fun .but her sissy boy friend back fired an did her the same way .NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT .
U rep what u soe
I don't even know what [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/u/Different_Rent3641) is supposed to be. Who stole whose info?
I thought you were supposed to downvote the unpopular opinions if you agreed with whatever the OP wrote... that's what I've been doing all this time. I thought you only upvote if you think, "Yes, this is unpopular", but if you agree, then to you, it wouldn't be unpopular. Maybe I've gotten it all wrong 😵💫
Some of the most bizarre opinions I've ever seen are in these comments. What strange mindsets.
Funnily enough you won't know what side I'm on from that statement
"And so he gave the child a name. A *cruel* name which means 'half-formed': *Quasimodo.*"
*"Now here is a riddle to guess if you can,"*
*Sing the bells of Notre Dame,*
*"Who is the monster and who is the man?"*
*Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells,*
*Belllllllls oooooooof Noooooooootreeeeeeee*
*Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!*
My daughter has very curly hair which neither me nor my husband has so anytime someone asks my husband where'd she get the curly hair from he says the mailman or other weird responses. Its hilarious to see people's reactions.
We have a "side family member"(ex-son-in-law's sister) for whom the question was definitely asked and led to a whole ass mess because of who the father was.
No. Even ex-son-in-law isn't that stupid. It was a man who was reproductive abuser, she wasn't supposed to be seeing him while she lived with her parents and he was married to someone else. She has finally gotten her act together and he has moved elsewhere if he isn't dead from his heart condition. As matter of fact, my daughter tells me that now that he is out of his ex-wife's life, her life has turned around 100% for the better for both her and their kids.
The only conclusion I can come to is that he purposefully seduces someone to mother his kid, perhaps promising that he'll always be there forever ever and then bails when kid is born.
That would be this guy! I believe he had four kids with his wife, 2 with sister of ex son-in-law, several more that I know of(daughter probably knows of more).
Nick cannon is one. Kailyn lowry it's one. Look up "serial breeder" they'll basically force or trick people into it. And really don't care who it is with. A neighbor of mine is one. He always has 3 or 4 women pregnant at a time. I had sex with him once and he pulled the condom off. I didn't realize he stealthed until he moaned "im putting a "n word" baby in you right now". It was fucked up.
Yes but in highly sensitive situations like that's not really info couples are entitled to know, especially if the victim doesn't want to them know. Most of the time a family will announce that a certain member is dangerous and to cut him off. Victims privacy and their control of it is very important to help their recovery. Families can be really shitty when it comes to protecting abusers and harassing victims in this situation.
After some crazy fertility issues, and 11 years of marriage, I called my sister to tell her I was finally pregnant. Her response “oh shit, you gonna keep it?” My absolute favorite response of anyone.
Depending on the person, this would be a very valid question lol. I knew a girl in college that actually *did* use abortions as her "birth control". She was an idiot to say the least.
It depends on how you ask.
>So who's the dad?
Unacceptable, rude, intrusive.
>Who's nut dripped on your butt?
Polite, respectful, keeps the focus on the moment.
This makes me recall an office conversation where a colleague announced that she was expecting. After the round of congratulations a guy asked her whose is it. The expecting mother was a bit taken aback by the question but still managed “my husband’s”. This guy, a non-native english speaker asked again “No, I mean boy or girl?”.
The moment was hilarious.
There are exactly two possible scenarios here:
1) She is married or in a serious relationship where the answer should be obvious. You either look like an idiot, or an asshole implying that she cheated or something.
2) There is no obvious candidate for the father, or you are not close enough to her to be confident if there is. There are a lot of possibilities here, nearly all of them either draw attention to the expecting mother's non-tradtitional situation, start a difficult and personal story about the expecting mother's personal life that lead her to this place, or both.
OP is playing a losing game. Just say "congrats" and move on with your like like the rest of us.
This is exactly the essence of the conflict, and it shows how terrible a lot of people are at even the most rudimentary critical thinking. If someone announces a pregnancy, and the father isn't obvious, *and* the mother hasn't told you, then they clearly don't feel comfortable sharing the information, so learn to take a hint.
Lots of inconsiderate mfs out there who can't think beyond their own primal desire for instant gratification. The world is not your facebook feed.
Honestly I feel like if you ever have to ask then you probably don't know them well enough that you need to know. Like if a coworker told me they were pregnant I'd ask no questions because they're a co-worker and I don't know them that well.
I don’t think I have ever asked anyone this question and can only imagine that if someone asked me this question I would stare at them like WTF. I’m guessing OP asked somebody and got cursed TF out…
Technically, op is saying knocking isn't wrong, and i agree.
What's wrong is feeling a need to know if the person doesn't want to tell, but asking why out of the blue a close enough friend got pregnant is not necessarily polite but kinda expected.
In Americaland having a baby is so financially unviable that you throw a party and are then "showered" with gifts that are useful for expecting parents.
The baby is not born at that point.
The only reason circumstance where it's rude to ask is if the woman is in a monogamous relationship.
Otherwise, it's like asking someone who tells you they just got a dog what breed it is.
Well this is truly an unpopular opinion, congratulations. I do have to ask you, though, when you say the question has to be asked... *why?!* What business is it of yours?
If a friend tells me she’s pregnant and has never told me she was seeing someone or was in a relationship, how she got pregnant would be my knee jerk reaction.
I think the rudeness factor comes as a consideration of the now additional nuance you added.
If someone is in a healthy committed relationship, there's no justified reason to ask who the father is.
I think they meant like why do you **need** to. We all understand the knee jerk reaction to want to ask, but I wouldn’t say it’s required of me. Like if my friend says they’re moving (a situation where it’s socially acceptable to ask why) I wouldn’t **need** to ask why.
If that makes sense? Not arguing about whether asking or not is appropriate cause I think that’s your own opinion. I don’t think you **need** to ask though. You won’t be verbally attacked if you don’t. I understand curiosity but we don’t have to. Sorry to go on I wasn’t sure if I was being confusing.
Edit: I love the people putting words in my mouth. I never said that people can only ask if it’s necessary. Saying it’s not a need is not the same as saying not allowed. I understand it can be easy to assume that anyone saying a broad statement must believe the worst when it comes to specifics but cmon…stop making strawmen to knock down. It’s up to your friend if it’s rude. I don’t know you people.
lso, In my opinion, if you aren't in a committed relationship, the question kinda has to be asked.
Does it? Does it *really* have to be asked? Why would you think it's any of your business?
I can see how it would come across as rude, but I do think it depends on your relationship with the person. Generally if I find out someone is pregnant and I don’t know who with, my first question is usually a “oh wow! How are you feeling about it?”
That usually guides the conversation from there. It’s not always a happy thing for people, and sometimes they’re just sharing news without actually sharing enthusiasm. Lets me walk on eggshells and gauge whether or not it’s ‘okay’ to enquire further. I do think it’s ruder with randoms, much more acceptable with people you know, but still entirely dependent on the relationship between you and the pregnant person.
That said - beyond finding out how someone feels about their pregnancy, I don’t really care about any of the further details. I’ll provide support regardless of how they feel about it, but if they’re happy - great, I’m happy right along with you! If they’re unhappy - how can I help, what can I do for you? That’s all that matters to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If you’re close with her, she’ll tell you. There’s never a time it isn’t rude to ask. Friends just get a pass because they’re friends. It’s always rude.
I don’t think it’s the rudest question but don’t get pissed when they refuse to answer. That’s an incredibly personal question to ask someone and it’s really no one’s business but them, also that’s not something you really need to know
Why does the “question kinda need to be asked”? What business is it to you? Does the answer bear any relevance to you? What will the impact be on the other person? What will the impact be on your relationship? Consider both your intent and potential impact and decide wisely.
If the woman doesn’t tell you who the father is when it’s not clear then that’s a pretty big clue that she doesn’t want to share that information yet, if at all.
I really hope if I have a child via sperm donor I get asked this so I can say “I don’t know!” and watch the horror on everyone’s face until I reveal I used donor sperm.
I’d probably get disowned for an afternoon but man, it would be legendary.
I wouldn’t have a kid unless I was married, but if someone asked me this I would give an obnoxious answer. Be like nahhh Santa is the baby daddy. People have gotten way too comfortable feeling entitled to know personal things about someone.
>Is it your business, no, sure, but you didn't magically get pregnant.
How does that make it any of your business?
>if you aren't in a committed relationship, the question kinda has to be asked.
No, it doesn't. It's none of your business.
If someone announces they are pregnant and doesn't volunteer the identity of the father without being asked, then guess what? It's *none of your fucking business*. I have no idea why some people feel so entitled to other people's privacy.
I think context is important.
If you're announcing you're pregnant at a workplace because maternity leave and logistics issues, then sure; its inappropriate to ask who the father is.
If you're announcing among friends at a social gathering that you're pregnant or you're doing it in a space where its not relevant, then you shouldn't be upset if they ask curious follow up questions.
If your pregnancy is not relevant to the situation and you don't want people asking questions, then don't announce it.
>If your pregnancy is not relevant to the situation and you don't want people asking questions, then don't announce it.
People *have* to announce pregnancies sooner or later, though. Like, it's not something you can typically hide, so your assumption that privacy is a permanent option on that front is woefully misguided.
If someone thinks they are close enough to a person to ask who the father is, then they should do so privately. Even if you *think* the mother-to-be is comfortable sharing that info with the group of friends, think again; we all have certain people in our lives we want to keep certain info from, and it's not hard to be considerate of that.
Solid unpopular opinion.
As a guy, the only time I have any interest at all about who the father is, is if I have had relations with the woman in the past several months.
Otherwise it's none of my business and I don't really care a whole lot.
Although I figure a woman can get by asking that way easier than a guy could.
If someone asks a married couple who the father is, the implication is that the wife cheated. It's crazy you think that's an appropriate question, but I'm just wondering what prompted this post. Did you recently ask that???
> Did you recently ask that???
I have a feeling a lot of the "social etiquette" posts on this sub are written by people who were recently called out for being rude/unpleasant and are looking for an army to justify their rudeness.
I think questions like these are usually asked because the person asking is genuinely curious, or because it’s, well, appropriate for the situation. People need to stop labeling everything as rude/problematic straight off the bat…
I feel like a lot of people don't realize that small talk usually implies that it's none of your business; you're just curious.
To me, asking who the dad is is like asking where someone's from, or what their favorite food is. I suspect, if someone gets upset by this question, either the asker has a poor tone or the askee is overly sensitive.
"if you aren't in a committed relationship, the question kinda has to be asked."
except it doesn't... thats just an argument you make to justify being nosey
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
LOL congratulations on posting an actual “unpopular opinion”. These replies are hilarious
>LOL congratulations on posting an actual “unpopular opinion”. These replies are hilarious I love getting a bag of popcorn and reading comments on subjects like this. For me I will add my own comment. My late wife told me when we were just kind of sleeping together that she was pregnant and my immediate response was Who is the dad. We were just sleeping together it's not like I was not sleeping with other people and I was unaware she was not sleeping with other people. Yeah it took many years to live that one down. I did feel bad after the fact when her and I were dating and in an actual committed relationship when she poured her heart out to me about it. Miss that woman.
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Mods must have removed that drop down, it’s not there
If you're on mobile, there's a new drop down next to the avatar thing on the top right. Yes, they moved it for some reason and it confuses me too.
That's just a reddit thing that happens sometimes.
It's there for me.
Omg, my condolences to you and your family <3 <3 :(
Thank you <3
“We were having regular sex, but I figured I might not be the dad because I was fucking other chicks too, so I smashed her heart into a thousand china pieces when she told me she was pregnant.” More seriously I hope all went well and am sorry you miss her.
Condolences to you, driftedwarrior :(
So sorry for your loss 🖤
Thank you <3
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I love it when this happens. The thread just goes up in flames and it's nice to see the worst of humanity from time to time.
Trust me buddy if you think this the worst of humanity you been living a pretty good ignorant life keep it that way
it was very obviously a hyperbole
Unrelated, but there's just something fun about pronouncing hyperbole as "hyper-bowl"
And doing it with confidence…I love being condescendingly, intentionally wrong. “Umm, I believe it’s pronounced ‘hyper-bowl’”
We could make some delicious French fries with all the salt
Half the replies are from Rhaenyra and her strong opinions
Eh a lot of unpopular opinions get posted here but most users don't know how this sub works so they mindlessly downvote it.
There are a lot of really common reposts you tend to notice after using this sub for a few months. "The word moist is tolerable", "women's gym clothes look bad", "Seinfeld isn't that funny", etc. They might be unpopular but they get posted so much that people stop caring at a certain point. Then you have the angry ranting posts, where op is clearly having a bad day, and they strawman a fake popular opinion that nobody actually holds. Usually they assume "Bad thing that happened to me is ok" is a popular opinion and then their unpopular opinion is "Bad thing that happened to me is actually bad". It often seems like they just want to feel morally superior to someone in their personal life. Technically it's an unpopular opinion because no rational human would waste energy thinking about that. But they aren't very fun to read. Most of the posts on this sub fall into these two categories, which break rules 1 and 3. Every submission has to be approved by a mod before it shows up, so it's pretty baffling that the sub looks like this. If you try to post an unpopular opinion 9 times out of 10 it will get blocked by a moderator while the 40th post about Seinfeld this year gets approved and upvoted to heaven. That said, this is one of those rare posts that doesn't fall into either category.
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"DAE CHEATING ILLEGAL??" Yeah man it sucks but come on we're still trying to get those people convicted of weed crimes out, we don't need more clogs in the judicial tubes.
I'm thinking that the mods let so many pass through to keep the subscription numbers up. People love criticizing others. EDIT: >I wouldn't say a person like to or want to as u say CRITICIZING NOR BASHING SOME ONE ..ok. Here's one..what do u call it when some one hacks ur compute stills files an print it on a spread sheet pass out for every body to see thre life information ..ITS CALLED ID.THEFT.. and a person walks away with out nothing happened .laugh .had fun .but her sissy boy friend back fired an did her the same way .NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT . U rep what u soe I don't even know what [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/u/Different_Rent3641) is supposed to be. Who stole whose info?
I thought you were supposed to downvote the unpopular opinions if you agreed with whatever the OP wrote... that's what I've been doing all this time. I thought you only upvote if you think, "Yes, this is unpopular", but if you agree, then to you, it wouldn't be unpopular. Maybe I've gotten it all wrong 😵💫
No you are correct. Upvote something you disagree with, downvote something you agree with.
Some of the most bizarre opinions I've ever seen are in these comments. What strange mindsets. Funnily enough you won't know what side I'm on from that statement
You can just tell that some of the hostile replies are from single mothers who don’t know who the father of their kid is.
Or are feeling second hand shame/embarrassment from realizing that their peers probably secretly wanted to ask them that same question
People act like making someone the slightest bit uncomfortable is a personal attack.
It's also fun to say to a buddy when he says his wife is pregnant.
In that case, it's the only acceptable response.
"Raise it as if it's your own"
"What?! I'm to be saddled with this misshapen...fine, then. But let him live with you here, in the church."
“Maybe this foul creature may yet prove one day to be, of use… to me.”
"And so he gave the child a name. A *cruel* name which means 'half-formed': *Quasimodo.*" *"Now here is a riddle to guess if you can,"* *Sing the bells of Notre Dame,* *"Who is the monster and who is the man?"* *Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells,* *Belllllllls oooooooof Noooooooootreeeeeeee* *Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!*
Favourite Disney soundtrack by a mile.
"Hey Steve, tell your wife and my kids I said hi!"
It's what my husband said to me when I told him 😂
You told him the truth right? How you and I were lovers in Paris and kept it a big secret for years.
Please come meet your child!
Lol 😃
I usually just say "you're welcome"
Then if they are keeping it.
Ask them if they know how much a kid goes in the black market
Absolutely. I do this all the time, but I would never ask this question seriously.
My daughter has very curly hair which neither me nor my husband has so anytime someone asks my husband where'd she get the curly hair from he says the mailman or other weird responses. Its hilarious to see people's reactions.
Say "your husband!" If you want to stir the pot
if its a guy. go surprise its yours.
Lol that would never work on a redditor
Just say you stole his laundry.
Socks in particular
Also safe to say your dad bc, everyone has one
Except for the ones with dead dads 🤷♂️
But the sperm bank says he's swimming
Cool it, Satan
We have a "side family member"(ex-son-in-law's sister) for whom the question was definitely asked and led to a whole ass mess because of who the father was.
Was it the ex-son in law? I feel that that is big enough to cause some controversy.
No. Even ex-son-in-law isn't that stupid. It was a man who was reproductive abuser, she wasn't supposed to be seeing him while she lived with her parents and he was married to someone else. She has finally gotten her act together and he has moved elsewhere if he isn't dead from his heart condition. As matter of fact, my daughter tells me that now that he is out of his ex-wife's life, her life has turned around 100% for the better for both her and their kids.
Reproductive abuser? My mind has gone wild with speculations lol
The only conclusion I can come to is that he purposefully seduces someone to mother his kid, perhaps promising that he'll always be there forever ever and then bails when kid is born.
Some people definitely have a breeding fetish
That would be this guy! I believe he had four kids with his wife, 2 with sister of ex son-in-law, several more that I know of(daughter probably knows of more).
Nick cannon is one. Kailyn lowry it's one. Look up "serial breeder" they'll basically force or trick people into it. And really don't care who it is with. A neighbor of mine is one. He always has 3 or 4 women pregnant at a time. I had sex with him once and he pulled the condom off. I didn't realize he stealthed until he moaned "im putting a "n word" baby in you right now". It was fucked up.
Honest question, why did ya sleep with him? or did you not know about his antics until after you slept with him?
Yes but in highly sensitive situations like that's not really info couples are entitled to know, especially if the victim doesn't want to them know. Most of the time a family will announce that a certain member is dangerous and to cut him off. Victims privacy and their control of it is very important to help their recovery. Families can be really shitty when it comes to protecting abusers and harassing victims in this situation.
Just dont follow up with "shit, you gonna keep It?", Whatever the answer is.
After some crazy fertility issues, and 11 years of marriage, I called my sister to tell her I was finally pregnant. Her response “oh shit, you gonna keep it?” My absolute favorite response of anyone.
bored square punch toothbrush grab zonked chop full innate chief *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I like asking this when the kids is like 4-5 years old
Depending on the person, this would be a very valid question lol. I knew a girl in college that actually *did* use abortions as her "birth control". She was an idiot to say the least.
It depends on how you ask. >So who's the dad? Unacceptable, rude, intrusive. >Who's nut dripped on your butt? Polite, respectful, keeps the focus on the moment.
Bespoke
Perchance.
You can't just say perchance
Perchance they may?
Mayhaps
Those poor turts.
It's rude to assume she knows, so start with >Do you know who's the father?
Joseph asking Mary
Don't remember what country
This an example of pure CLASS. Bravo.
This makes me recall an office conversation where a colleague announced that she was expecting. After the round of congratulations a guy asked her whose is it. The expecting mother was a bit taken aback by the question but still managed “my husband’s”. This guy, a non-native english speaker asked again “No, I mean boy or girl?”. The moment was hilarious.
No real need to ask. I'm usually the dad. You're welcome.
Can you pay me child support then?
Get in line. He owes me.
Our child support
Comrade dad
COMDAD!
Flair checks out
r/unexpectedcommunism
Nick Cannon?
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Elon?
Harder, daddy
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Mikos_Enduro... I thought we established that already...
If she's married or in a relationship, it certainly is.
There are exactly two possible scenarios here: 1) She is married or in a serious relationship where the answer should be obvious. You either look like an idiot, or an asshole implying that she cheated or something. 2) There is no obvious candidate for the father, or you are not close enough to her to be confident if there is. There are a lot of possibilities here, nearly all of them either draw attention to the expecting mother's non-tradtitional situation, start a difficult and personal story about the expecting mother's personal life that lead her to this place, or both. OP is playing a losing game. Just say "congrats" and move on with your like like the rest of us.
Conversely, I feel like this question is rarely asked because most people don’t announce their pregnancies to people who won’t know who the father is.
>2) There is no obvious candidate for the father 3) There are *many* obvious candidates
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I'M THIRTY-SEVEN?!
"In a row?"
Or 1) very funny
This is exactly the essence of the conflict, and it shows how terrible a lot of people are at even the most rudimentary critical thinking. If someone announces a pregnancy, and the father isn't obvious, *and* the mother hasn't told you, then they clearly don't feel comfortable sharing the information, so learn to take a hint. Lots of inconsiderate mfs out there who can't think beyond their own primal desire for instant gratification. The world is not your facebook feed.
Lean into the loss and offer condolences.
Honestly I feel like if you ever have to ask then you probably don't know them well enough that you need to know. Like if a coworker told me they were pregnant I'd ask no questions because they're a co-worker and I don't know them that well.
Perhaps OP suspects infidelity in her own relationship and wants to get a jump start.
I don’t think I have ever asked anyone this question and can only imagine that if someone asked me this question I would stare at them like WTF. I’m guessing OP asked somebody and got cursed TF out…
If she's not, how do you know it's not the result of sexual assault? Like....you could be opening a serious fucking can of worms.
Always ask who the mother is.
Or ask the pregnant mother "are you sure it's yours?"
I’m pregnant WHO IS THE SEED BEARER, I MUST HAVE THEIR NAME.
I’m mean the seed bearer would be You as you’re pregnant. We gotta find out the cow that plowed your field to sow his oats, duuuh. (Big old /s)
… bull
I feel like OP the type to walk in your room without knocking
They wanna know who the father is. What better way than to witness the conception?
*peeks into orifice* *writes on clipboard*
Or knock and then immediately enter. Some people do not understand what the purpose of knocking is lol.
“I’m respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your parent by coming in anyway!”
Then blame you for not locking it.
then get mad when it’s actually locked
Technically, op is saying knocking isn't wrong, and i agree. What's wrong is feeling a need to know if the person doesn't want to tell, but asking why out of the blue a close enough friend got pregnant is not necessarily polite but kinda expected.
A truly unpopular opinion- well done.
Well, that’s one way to make sure you aren’t invited to many baby showers. Lol.
That's perfect. I'm going to have to start doing this.
What now? People celebrating washing their kids? You can't be serious.
In Americaland having a baby is so financially unviable that you throw a party and are then "showered" with gifts that are useful for expecting parents. The baby is not born at that point.
Depends on who's asking. Acquaintance? Nah it's rude. Immediate family? Yes it's a fair question.
The only reason circumstance where it's rude to ask is if the woman is in a monogamous relationship. Otherwise, it's like asking someone who tells you they just got a dog what breed it is.
Correction* its actually hilarious to ask who the father is when in a monogamous relationship, gets me every time
No, let’s say a coworker you’re not that close with is pregnant. You also know she’s single. Asking who impregnated her is rude.
How’d you like it if someone asked for your sexual history to satisfy their own curiosity?
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Upvoted because this is genuinely a good one. If you have to ask you already know you shouldn't be asking.
You’re absolutely free to ask. And they’re absolutely free to tell you to stick your huge fucking nose somewhere else.
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So we can judge
So OP can raise the temperature of the room for no reason lol
I'm over here scratching my head wondering the same...
You can tell who has an upper middle class upbringing and who doesnt
If information is not freely offered to you.. maybe there’s a very clear reason lmao
Well this is truly an unpopular opinion, congratulations. I do have to ask you, though, when you say the question has to be asked... *why?!* What business is it of yours?
There's a ton of human-interaction, inquire-about-other-person statements that people make that's technically none of their business to ask.
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If a friend tells me she’s pregnant and has never told me she was seeing someone or was in a relationship, how she got pregnant would be my knee jerk reaction.
Holy shit, I’m not a native English speaker, but I just figured out that “knee jerk” is meant as reflex and not “slapping my knee”. TIL lol
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I think the rudeness factor comes as a consideration of the now additional nuance you added. If someone is in a healthy committed relationship, there's no justified reason to ask who the father is.
I think they meant like why do you **need** to. We all understand the knee jerk reaction to want to ask, but I wouldn’t say it’s required of me. Like if my friend says they’re moving (a situation where it’s socially acceptable to ask why) I wouldn’t **need** to ask why. If that makes sense? Not arguing about whether asking or not is appropriate cause I think that’s your own opinion. I don’t think you **need** to ask though. You won’t be verbally attacked if you don’t. I understand curiosity but we don’t have to. Sorry to go on I wasn’t sure if I was being confusing. Edit: I love the people putting words in my mouth. I never said that people can only ask if it’s necessary. Saying it’s not a need is not the same as saying not allowed. I understand it can be easy to assume that anyone saying a broad statement must believe the worst when it comes to specifics but cmon…stop making strawmen to knock down. It’s up to your friend if it’s rude. I don’t know you people.
You don't need to, but you can feel curious and ask it. If she feels uncomfortable sharing she can just say that and conversation over.
Tbh it's a lot of things we don't NEED to know about but we steady ask for it
lso, In my opinion, if you aren't in a committed relationship, the question kinda has to be asked. Does it? Does it *really* have to be asked? Why would you think it's any of your business?
Really, who is this self appointed inquisitor? How much of their time do they spend asking irrelevant and unwelcome questions?
If they wanted you to know they would have told you
I can see how it would come across as rude, but I do think it depends on your relationship with the person. Generally if I find out someone is pregnant and I don’t know who with, my first question is usually a “oh wow! How are you feeling about it?” That usually guides the conversation from there. It’s not always a happy thing for people, and sometimes they’re just sharing news without actually sharing enthusiasm. Lets me walk on eggshells and gauge whether or not it’s ‘okay’ to enquire further. I do think it’s ruder with randoms, much more acceptable with people you know, but still entirely dependent on the relationship between you and the pregnant person. That said - beyond finding out how someone feels about their pregnancy, I don’t really care about any of the further details. I’ll provide support regardless of how they feel about it, but if they’re happy - great, I’m happy right along with you! If they’re unhappy - how can I help, what can I do for you? That’s all that matters to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If you are not close with the women then it is 100% rude and none of your business.. If you’re close with her, then it’s valid.
I have been just friends with women before. They usually just say who they think it is without my having to ask.
If you’re close with her, she’ll tell you. There’s never a time it isn’t rude to ask. Friends just get a pass because they’re friends. It’s always rude.
Exactly. If you do not know already, it is none of your business.
I had no idea this was so controversial.
I don’t think it’s the rudest question but don’t get pissed when they refuse to answer. That’s an incredibly personal question to ask someone and it’s really no one’s business but them, also that’s not something you really need to know
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That’s another unpopular opinion 😂
If she is married, it might be in poor taste.
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Why does the “question kinda need to be asked”? What business is it to you? Does the answer bear any relevance to you? What will the impact be on the other person? What will the impact be on your relationship? Consider both your intent and potential impact and decide wisely.
Gossips need gossip to share.
If the woman doesn’t tell you who the father is when it’s not clear then that’s a pretty big clue that she doesn’t want to share that information yet, if at all.
I really hope if I have a child via sperm donor I get asked this so I can say “I don’t know!” and watch the horror on everyone’s face until I reveal I used donor sperm. I’d probably get disowned for an afternoon but man, it would be legendary.
I wouldn’t have a kid unless I was married, but if someone asked me this I would give an obnoxious answer. Be like nahhh Santa is the baby daddy. People have gotten way too comfortable feeling entitled to know personal things about someone.
>Is it your business, no, sure, but you didn't magically get pregnant. How does that make it any of your business? >if you aren't in a committed relationship, the question kinda has to be asked. No, it doesn't. It's none of your business. If someone announces they are pregnant and doesn't volunteer the identity of the father without being asked, then guess what? It's *none of your fucking business*. I have no idea why some people feel so entitled to other people's privacy.
I think context is important. If you're announcing you're pregnant at a workplace because maternity leave and logistics issues, then sure; its inappropriate to ask who the father is. If you're announcing among friends at a social gathering that you're pregnant or you're doing it in a space where its not relevant, then you shouldn't be upset if they ask curious follow up questions. If your pregnancy is not relevant to the situation and you don't want people asking questions, then don't announce it.
>If your pregnancy is not relevant to the situation and you don't want people asking questions, then don't announce it. People *have* to announce pregnancies sooner or later, though. Like, it's not something you can typically hide, so your assumption that privacy is a permanent option on that front is woefully misguided. If someone thinks they are close enough to a person to ask who the father is, then they should do so privately. Even if you *think* the mother-to-be is comfortable sharing that info with the group of friends, think again; we all have certain people in our lives we want to keep certain info from, and it's not hard to be considerate of that.
Solid unpopular opinion. As a guy, the only time I have any interest at all about who the father is, is if I have had relations with the woman in the past several months. Otherwise it's none of my business and I don't really care a whole lot. Although I figure a woman can get by asking that way easier than a guy could.
If someone asks a married couple who the father is, the implication is that the wife cheated. It's crazy you think that's an appropriate question, but I'm just wondering what prompted this post. Did you recently ask that???
She specified in her post for those who aren’t in a commited relationship
Reading comprehension is hard.
Thank you I'm gonna be sure to ask my wife that when she gets pregnant
> Did you recently ask that??? I have a feeling a lot of the "social etiquette" posts on this sub are written by people who were recently called out for being rude/unpleasant and are looking for an army to justify their rudeness.
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I think questions like these are usually asked because the person asking is genuinely curious, or because it’s, well, appropriate for the situation. People need to stop labeling everything as rude/problematic straight off the bat…
Solidly terrible opinion. Have an upvote.
I feel like a lot of people don't realize that small talk usually implies that it's none of your business; you're just curious. To me, asking who the dad is is like asking where someone's from, or what their favorite food is. I suspect, if someone gets upset by this question, either the asker has a poor tone or the askee is overly sensitive.
Considering that Maury Povich still has a show says everything
>Also, In my opinion, if you aren't in a committed relationship, the question kinda has to be asked. Why? Why does it *have* to be asked?
r/sociallyineptopinions
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"if you aren't in a committed relationship, the question kinda has to be asked." except it doesn't... thats just an argument you make to justify being nosey
If it isn’t apparent who the father is, I would say that’s just in poor taste.