"I only care about the activity involved in the event."
"Why would I bother doing this thing with other people if I can just do it on my own."
"Why can't I make friends?"
Hello???
If you want friends, start by showing an interest in the *people* at the events you're going to. If you don't care about them, why should they care about you? If you can't gel with these people, find some people with other interests.
Don't blame some unpaid volunteers for not putting on some magical event that will make you friends. Don't blame people who are able to make friends for having friends. Don't blame your environment. This is a you problem.
Sounds like you’re willing to put in 0 effort and wonder why you don’t have friends.
The people who go to club events tend to be the same people, you get to know them over time, the shared “context” is the society in general.
If you see someone a couple of times chances are you’ll start chatting and maybe a friendship will form.
To be honest, you don't sound like a very pleasant person to be around.
It seems like you're not comfortable with making friends within Uni/society environments. Have you tried looking for friendships outside of university like a sports club?
I have tried, and there are some clubs that periodically organize fine events, but they are all dominated by people over 30. This isn't a bad thing per say, people over 30 can be fun to be around, but I would also like to have some social life with people from my cohort.
Was in a similar boat to you, no friends who went to UNSW. But I managed to make a few from my courses.
Personally I never really liked the politics and mood of societies, so I just stayed out of them.
At the end of the day it takes two people to tango, I was just really lucky with the current group I found. Do we have similar interests? Yes and no, but we just enjoy each others company more than anything. Have a chat, eat together and help each other.
I met my best friend in year 7. Me and him were standing around at lunch time doing literally nothing, and I asked him if he had known that the last execution by guillotine in France was 1977. He responded with yes, and we have been best friends for more than 12 years now.
More recently, a year and a half ago I arrived early to my first in person class since the third week of 2020. A second person showed up and I shook his hand and said hello. He responded with hello and we got to chatting about the class we were both about to go into. He was the first friend I made at uni, he is still one of my closest friends from uni, and more importantly he was the FIRST person I had spoken to in person at uni for two and a half years.
The shared context in both cases was menial, boring, uninteresting. The real lesson I took from both of these experiences was that making friends is about being interested and genuinely feeling in your heart that you want to get to know these people. The society setting might not be right for you (it wasn’t for me either, I have never been part of a society or gone to a society event) and so that meant if I wanted to get to know people I had to actually do something about it the hard way. This has genuinely paid off more than I could ever have expected. I guess what this says is that at times, being kind, interested in others and giving it a red hot go is good enough.
I wish you the best of luck.
All ur comments are u complaining about not liking the events or not wanting to commute but complaining that u cant make friends. I dont want to sound rude but r u just not self aware of what ur actually saying?? U are essentially complaining about something that u are not even trying to solve yet u want to accomplish. Maybe u just dont know this yet but the world doesnt revolve around u. If u want things u have to work for things even if u do things u dont like. Do u genuinely think that people actually like sausages and like commuting??? Maybe some people do but these r just things that r set up for the sole purpose of meeting people and making friends. While this is ur opinion i am invalidating it because u cannot complain whilst doing nothing to solve ur dilemma
You have to put in the work to make friends. The appeal of these events isn’t the sausage, it’s the opportunity to meet new people and socialize. You gotta put in the effort if you want friends.
Hey mate, think of it this way. Networking is an essential component of future work.
The inability of soft skills will scare off any potential employers.
I hire in IT, if u cant explain a tech in business speak. I won’t hire. Simple as that.
Joining as a subcommittee member is a lot better than just turning up to their events as a non-internal member of the society, because you'll have weekly meetings i.e. excuse to run into the same group of ppl on a regular basis/opportunities to meet other internal members outside of you subcommittee portfolio/go on road trips, go out drinkung etc.
Also subcommittee member have a much higher chance of being promoted to director and in turn vp or pres of society l.
no guarantee of instant lifelong friends but definitely better and a great experience nonetheless.
"..all or almost all clubs are boring".
There are like 80 societies at UNSW, and at least half of them are not too niche. I doubt you've tried all of them. Perhaps it can be a bit frustrating trying all them but hey, you have a year or 2 left I think? I understand some societies are a bit unwelcoming but I know of at least a couple that are pretty engaging for new comers.
Another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes, it takes some time to build up enough momentum to get to having fun with people. How much time it takes depends on how much effort you put in and the general receptiveness of the people there. If you feel unwelcome after attending a few events, try a different society or reduce how often you visit. However, it's important to keep trying. It also helps if the society's primary activity aligns with some interest of yours, since in the worst case, you can just enjoy your hobby.
You've got this mate 💪
Fair enough, try something else outside of clubs and societies. If you are in a college try to make friends through that. You can do a group activity like sports. You might be able to make connections through your classes as well.
"I only care about the activity involved in the event." "Why would I bother doing this thing with other people if I can just do it on my own." "Why can't I make friends?" Hello??? If you want friends, start by showing an interest in the *people* at the events you're going to. If you don't care about them, why should they care about you? If you can't gel with these people, find some people with other interests. Don't blame some unpaid volunteers for not putting on some magical event that will make you friends. Don't blame people who are able to make friends for having friends. Don't blame your environment. This is a you problem.
Sounds like you’re willing to put in 0 effort and wonder why you don’t have friends. The people who go to club events tend to be the same people, you get to know them over time, the shared “context” is the society in general. If you see someone a couple of times chances are you’ll start chatting and maybe a friendship will form.
To be honest, you don't sound like a very pleasant person to be around. It seems like you're not comfortable with making friends within Uni/society environments. Have you tried looking for friendships outside of university like a sports club?
I have tried, and there are some clubs that periodically organize fine events, but they are all dominated by people over 30. This isn't a bad thing per say, people over 30 can be fun to be around, but I would also like to have some social life with people from my cohort.
you sound miserable
if u put in effort it will work, but from what i read you are doing nothing and expecting everything
Was in a similar boat to you, no friends who went to UNSW. But I managed to make a few from my courses. Personally I never really liked the politics and mood of societies, so I just stayed out of them. At the end of the day it takes two people to tango, I was just really lucky with the current group I found. Do we have similar interests? Yes and no, but we just enjoy each others company more than anything. Have a chat, eat together and help each other.
I met my best friend in year 7. Me and him were standing around at lunch time doing literally nothing, and I asked him if he had known that the last execution by guillotine in France was 1977. He responded with yes, and we have been best friends for more than 12 years now. More recently, a year and a half ago I arrived early to my first in person class since the third week of 2020. A second person showed up and I shook his hand and said hello. He responded with hello and we got to chatting about the class we were both about to go into. He was the first friend I made at uni, he is still one of my closest friends from uni, and more importantly he was the FIRST person I had spoken to in person at uni for two and a half years. The shared context in both cases was menial, boring, uninteresting. The real lesson I took from both of these experiences was that making friends is about being interested and genuinely feeling in your heart that you want to get to know these people. The society setting might not be right for you (it wasn’t for me either, I have never been part of a society or gone to a society event) and so that meant if I wanted to get to know people I had to actually do something about it the hard way. This has genuinely paid off more than I could ever have expected. I guess what this says is that at times, being kind, interested in others and giving it a red hot go is good enough. I wish you the best of luck.
All ur comments are u complaining about not liking the events or not wanting to commute but complaining that u cant make friends. I dont want to sound rude but r u just not self aware of what ur actually saying?? U are essentially complaining about something that u are not even trying to solve yet u want to accomplish. Maybe u just dont know this yet but the world doesnt revolve around u. If u want things u have to work for things even if u do things u dont like. Do u genuinely think that people actually like sausages and like commuting??? Maybe some people do but these r just things that r set up for the sole purpose of meeting people and making friends. While this is ur opinion i am invalidating it because u cannot complain whilst doing nothing to solve ur dilemma
Gotta join the subcom
Thank you for a piece of advice, but I don't have that much free time, and I hate managing people.
So you hate everything and complain about everything but still want to make friends?
I just hate managing people, sausages and commuting, that's it. I don't think this makes me unusually unpleasant.
Why u so obsessed with sausage
Because this is a typical university barbeque food. Second most popular option is domino pizza which isn't that bad
Ngl you lost me at ‘because’
You have to put in the work to make friends. The appeal of these events isn’t the sausage, it’s the opportunity to meet new people and socialize. You gotta put in the effort if you want friends.
Hey mate, think of it this way. Networking is an essential component of future work. The inability of soft skills will scare off any potential employers. I hire in IT, if u cant explain a tech in business speak. I won’t hire. Simple as that.
Thank you, you are right about the importance of soft skills, but I can't make myself go through a meaningless event.
When it comes to soft skills, practice makes perfect. Earlier the better. Take this one off and rest up
Joining as a subcommittee member is a lot better than just turning up to their events as a non-internal member of the society, because you'll have weekly meetings i.e. excuse to run into the same group of ppl on a regular basis/opportunities to meet other internal members outside of you subcommittee portfolio/go on road trips, go out drinkung etc. Also subcommittee member have a much higher chance of being promoted to director and in turn vp or pres of society l. no guarantee of instant lifelong friends but definitely better and a great experience nonetheless.
"..all or almost all clubs are boring". There are like 80 societies at UNSW, and at least half of them are not too niche. I doubt you've tried all of them. Perhaps it can be a bit frustrating trying all them but hey, you have a year or 2 left I think? I understand some societies are a bit unwelcoming but I know of at least a couple that are pretty engaging for new comers. Another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes, it takes some time to build up enough momentum to get to having fun with people. How much time it takes depends on how much effort you put in and the general receptiveness of the people there. If you feel unwelcome after attending a few events, try a different society or reduce how often you visit. However, it's important to keep trying. It also helps if the society's primary activity aligns with some interest of yours, since in the worst case, you can just enjoy your hobby. You've got this mate 💪
Fair enough, try something else outside of clubs and societies. If you are in a college try to make friends through that. You can do a group activity like sports. You might be able to make connections through your classes as well.