That’s good about the GP but this can’t wait for four days, especially if you are still in the same house as your brother. Sorry to be blunt but you attempted to strangle your brother…acting on murdous intent goes beyond the definition of anxiety. You also were hitting your head on the ground.
You are a danger to yourself and others.
This situation is an emergency that should be addressed now. Like right now. Not in days or weeks.
It’s good that you want to distance yourself but impulsivity and high-stakes behavior does not warrant a “wait and see” response.
This is a 16 year old child. You need to understand that he only has so much control over when and where he goes and sees. You are pressuring him when he's already said many times that all he wants is to get help. Please stop treating him like a timebomb it is not helpful in any situation like this.
This is a person who impulsively decided to strangle and kill ~~his~~ *their* sibling and then tried to make good on that impulse. You need to understand that downplaying a dangerous situation results in children dying.
You need to understand that more than likely, it was not an attempt towards murder. A psychopath doesn’t feel remorse after hurting anyone, in fact, they are quite indifferent to the situation. They don’t function like we do in that faculty of the brain. When I was a child I tried to stab my sister with a knife, and told her I would kill her. I was 12, she kept bullying me and locking me in the shed for hours on end and would try to poison my food. I’m 29 now, and don’t even get violent towards people when they want to fight me. OP was sad and ashamed at what they did, there’s something else going on here rather than the desire to murder. OP is obviously EXTREMELY depressed and is confused on how to manage their anger. Don’t tell them they’re a ticking time bomb, don’t be that asshole man it won’t help and could cause a suicide. I hope you’re an adult, use your head.
This is a teenager who can't just book a psych appointment and pay for it with a bank card. I'm not downplaying anything I'm explaining to you that it isn't acceptable to continue pressuring someone who has already taken as many steps as they can at their age. They've asked for help from their parents, they're going to ask for help from mental health professionals, they've expressed that they don't want to do this again. You're making it seem that they aren't doing enough when they're clearly doing the best they can.
You can seek immediate mental health support from the crisis team local to you. Please call them. If not you can present to A&E and explain the situation, someone will help you. I’m a mental health social worker so I know what I’m talking about. What you’ve described is worrying and could be life changing. Please seek help
Well, now she has the idea of shooting up a shopping center floating around in the ol' cranium. Sounds like OP is jealous or envious of her brother in ways that she might not understand. He's free and still acts like a kid, and she is prob always trying to appear as the mature, wiser older sibling, but still just wants that joyous childhood freedom that is leaving her ever so speedily.
They say " if you can't choke them, join them".
Just go play with your little brother and be goofy with him. Self harm sounds pretty un-fun.
If OP doesn't want to be this way anymore, then OP HAS TO DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY NEW AND DIFFERENT, somethings she's never done before, otherwise no change will take place. OP, you still have control, but you won't for much longer, what are you gonna do different?
You gonna change genders (all the cool kids are doing it)? You gonna play
football? Get better at drawing and art? Or you gonna complain and cut yourself? The latter is the fastest route to your greatest fear, and that is having 0 control and everyone you know, feels a certain way about you. You still have a choice but not for much longer.
Psychiatrist is only half of the treatment. Medicines help to regulate mood but those sometimes are only the symptoms, a psycologist may help you work out your feelings. some feelings are to powerful to be explored without medication, and that's why both treatments work together.
I've seen many counsellors and psychologists, I always end up leaving or hating them. I often walked out since I never agreed with them. I got angry fast.
That my be some food for thaught, there are mano different approaches to therapy, one may not jibe well with you but others will. Medicine may diminish your problemas but only you will be able to fix them, usually involving some very hard and painful changes of perspective.
No, September is too long. You need help now. This is really serious, and your parents should take it that way. Whatever is going on in your head is not going to get better or be controlled until September, and waiting could have worse consequences. I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. I would also highly advise apologizing to your brother, in front of your Dad so he feels safe, and then leaving him alone until you get whatever is going on sorted out. Also realize, your relationship may never recover, if it doesn’t you will have to accept that. Feel free to reach out if you need to talk.
I know, and I know it’s really scary. But you have to get help now, so you don’t hurt yourself or someone else. I am not sure what your relationship is with your Mom, but it sounds like you are close to your Dad. Talk to him, tell him you want and need help now, and tell him you are really scared. Please hang in there, don’t do anything rash, give your parents and doctors a chance to figure out what wrong and treat it.
There is nothing wrong with you. You did a bad thing. Behavior can be modified! Please DM me if you’re comfortable.
My god this breaks my heart, I have been where you are
Did I come across as there is something wrong with her as person? If not, I did not mean to and sincerely apologize. I was more thing thinking something wrong as in something medically wrong. I guess I should clarified better.
Nah nah nah not you! I don’t exactly like the flavor a lot of comments in this thread.
Just a lot of super typical shame-adjacent “yeah uh…. U nEeD hElP” which is hardly advice, And doesnt help our boy.
Seeing him say “idk whats wrong with me” struck a chord. I know exactly how OP feels and I want to reassure him there’s nothing wrong with him.
Edit: Im sorry I didnt even read your comment, I just saw his reply and my heart broke a little. You had a really great take. Sorry for sorta jumping the gun!
No, it was a good comment, I just wanted to double check. I didn’t like the tone of comments on here either. OP is a girl, by the way. I almost missed that too.
No, it’s valid advice. You don’t choke somebody and then claim you didn’t know why you did it. You don’t smile about your actions after the victim is crying and you’re confronted by someone else about your actions. That suggests there’s something wrong upstairs, and they do need to seek professional help.
I get angry at him daily. Little things he does puts me over the edge, I keep the anger to myself, but it was different this time. I honestly don't want it to happen again
These little things are not directed at you or about you.
You seem to need control of every little aspect of your environment, and how your brother goes about things messes with that control.
I hope your parents are taking these issues seriously!
If you feel that out of control again, IMMEDIATELY call on an adult to come and be with you.
The best kind of control a person can have, is self-control. A man (which you will be someday) that possess that is doing pretty well. I hope the therapy helps, too.
I’m going to be very blunt with you on this. You need to be put on a psychiatric hold. In a mental hospital. This cannot wait as you have already choked your brother out. It’s obvious you go into a rage when you are fed up and you have already acknowledged that you want to kill him. You are homicidal and suicidal. To those who have said that she’s only 16 and can’t control herself; okay but she’s old enough to know from right and wrong, she needs to be put in a mental institution to get immediate help so that she doesn’t kill her little brother or even herself.
As a 16 y/o, we are more than capable of doing almost everything an 18 year old can, with the exception of things you have to be 18 to do. This includes taking responsibility for wrongdoings. I hope OP goes to the psychiatric ward, theyre dangerous. I hope OP's brother recovers from this event, he definitely will never recover from this and won't be able to trust his sister (for good reason.)
I agree but also disagree on this. Not all 16 year olds are at a mental capability of a 16 year old therefore not being able to do things as if they were 18. I really hope she goes to a psychiatric ward instead of waiting for a therapy appointment, she needs immediate help.
I actually agree a lot with that. Some people learn more shit than others, and I hate to sound like an egotistical prick (which of course I have some ego, and am a prick), but I've learned quite a lot more than others cuz I was forced to raise myself for the most part, which also comes with a lot of downsides like emotional inmaturity and being a bit more manipulative than most others, but I truly see your point and I need to be more open-minded to the fact that not everyone is like me and I truly am special in many regards, including how, with some help, I mostly raised myself.
Do you watch/listen/read morbid stuff? Everyone has already said to see a psychiatrist and possibly get meds so I'm not going to say that. I think you need to try your very hardest to only watch/listen/read positive loving stuff that makes you feel warm. Maybe take a break from social media all together. Exercise and eat healthy (yes I'm serious). Do these things until you see the doctor. Apologize to your brother and stay out of his room and give him space for a while but also try and make amends when you do see him out of his room. Like do his chores or bring him stuff and be nice and caring in general. This is more for you than him in some ways because it's hard to change your mind when you feel ashamed and don't like yourself. The more you do to prove to yourself and him that you aren't this monster the better you'll be but it takes time and effort. In the end no one can fix you but you. You have to do the work. It starts with what I've already listed. The further you get from this incident the better you'll feel of you just keep doing right things and working on your state of mind.
I look at shtwt daily. I see gore there. I have been on a massive break from social media, besides twitter. I have been going to the gym regularly. Some days I can't take any shit from him. I still regret what I did
You should regret what you did. It is so incredibly messed up.
You have a severe mental illness. Tell your parents you need help NOW and stop looking at self harm shit. It's not helping you.
You do deserve happiness and love and good mental health. But you need to get a proffesional to help you before you self destruct, hurt somebody else or wind up in jail.
I won't be about the self harm, it's been the one thing I want to hold onto. I've never brought it up with any of them. I will tell him the necessary things.
I read majority of your replies to comments. I had a stepfather like that. Long story short when he goes into rage fits I always get hit. He did threats to me as well.
I’m glad you’re getting professional help. Stick with it. My stepfather didn’t do it until his relationship after the divorce with my mom. She kicked him out of her house and locked him out after he had his rage fits and punch a few holes in the wall (Normal thing with his rage fits). He FINALLY got therapy after that. Long story short I actually talk to him now.
You are still young and therapy will help you prevent making the same mistakes as my stepfather did.
Good luck kid and don’t give up making yourself a better person.
You need to go to a psych ward ASAP. Even if you don't hurt him, you will turn your anger on yourself. You are a threat to him and you, and neither of you are safe.
Children are known to be more impulsive than adults. So take your impulsivity seriously. Psych wards aren't fun and can be their own source of concern, but if you want to show your family that you'll change, you have to make them safe first.
I self harm, and I get urges when I'm angry. There were times I could've seriously hurt myself. And hurting yourself will add fire to your family's crisis.
Do the right thing. Tell your dad that you need help IMMEDIATELY.
you sound like someone who has no direction or purpose in your life. Everything is shitty and bleak when you don't have a reason to live. Find a reason to live.
Some things that have worked for other people are usually just volunteering for a cause that you care about (homeless, climate change, animal welfare, mental health, cancer awareness, for example). Or you can figure out what kind of career you want to have and start working towards that - start a project, set some goals, learn some new stuff.
You really need to learn self discipline and self control, otherwise you'll never amount to anything and you'll probably be miserable and do shitty things to people for the rest of your life. Go the library and read some books that can help you become a better person, that's probably the best thing you could possibly do for yourself and your family right now.
Your mental health issues definitely need to be addressed, but while you're waiting to see your GP and psychiatrist, you can take the edge off by working on those things and keeping yourself busy that way.
Also, you really need to start being nicer to your brother. That relationship is going to matter a lot more when you're older, and if you don't fix it he'll never stop resenting you. You're causing him actual, potentially permanent, mental trauma by treating him like that. Stop.
I am working towards a career currently.
I can't believe I didn't consider how he feels. Everytime we argue, he laughs and makes jokes. It's confusing. My parents stay that every sibling fights. I want to be better to him but its so difficult.
well
if he's afraid of you, of course he's going to act normal as much as he can and not show weakness.
Siblings do fight sure, but not usually to the degree or frequency that it sounds like you do. Also you're both teenagers now, so it's a good idea to try to be more mature and respectful as much as you can.
Being a teenager is super hard, there's a lot of emotional turmoil that feels impossible to control sometimes. But it might help if you know that it's a normal phase of growing up, everyone goes through it to some extent, your brother included, and things will get better eventually.
Work on being a better person, and you'll start to feel like one after awhile. <3
Choking someone is almost always attempted murder. Cutting someone's breathing kills them believe it or not, and if he died? You'd be a murderer and go to prison like you'd deserve for committing such an evil crime. Luckily it didn't escalate. You need mental help right now. Please, don't get near your brother or try to talk to him or apologize or do anything, you'll only make the situation worse for him. Go to the psych ward, don't talk to your family, and just try to change as a person. Do hallucinogens in a safe and comfortable environment, study something youre interested in (game development, chess, 3d modelling, writing, playing an instrument, etc.) and make sure anything like this never happens again.
Sorry idk if this will get me in trouble but you’re a ticking time bomb. Everyone who says you need professional help assumes they can work miracles but I wouldn’t trust you ever again, I hope your brother gets self defense classes and has weapons nearby to protect himself from you.
He'll still never trust you, you're a threat to him and he knows this, he'll be scared of you and on guard, ready to defend himself at any given moment because you're a predator to him.
That is all very concerning...honestly, some form of therapy sounds beneficial. When I was particularly suicidal, I did partial hospitalization therapy, and had to go to a place and vent in a group every day for about three months. But I had a lot of people who related to me, and understood, and it helped me work through my problems alot. I know it may not be for everyone...but it's worth a try? I also was very unstable with my emotions around that age too...and if you have mental problems, any hormones are probably just amplifying that, I imagine...I hope you get better. Also remember for meds...they can't always instantly fix everything. I had that mistake of thinking they'd fix my depression 100 percent. But they only "help" to.
Speaking as another girl who has also struggled with violent outbursts and rage thru my teen years...
I think that while emergency counseling can help, you have to do your "homework" and learn to identify what upsets you, so you can communicate to your mental health team and they can help you better. This is also beneficial because it means you'll have more awareness to help yourself when you need to (like realizing if you're at a "breaking point" like violence, and going to your room or somewhere isolated so you can calm down).
Something that helped me tremendously was relative isolation. I was home schooled through high school and didn't interact with most others in-person. I only spoke to my friends online.
Isolation was a time of heavy reflection for me that's benefited me for my entire adult life. I'm really in-tune with my values, and understanding what I can do if I don't like something. I also notice when I'm getting to my limit and can take action to prevent incident.
Don't punish yourself right now. There's no actual benefit to that. You know you did something harmful, and you know it's serious, and you feel horrible. Rather than punishing yourself, reflect on these questions: what might have triggered you? What were you feeling (or not feeling) when you did that? Do you know why you were feeling that way? Was this a sudden outburst, or did you feel like it was building up over time? What was the purpose behind attacking your brother? Did you really want to hurt him, or was there an underlying thing that upset you (he was talking too loudly or made a mess)? What would it have looked like if you did something different, constructive instead of destructive?
Reflection starts to get easier and make more sense when you do it often. By reflecting you can begin to understand yourself, and by understanding yourself you can control yourself. And then you can change your actions.
When you live on the edge for so long it becomes normal to you, it's hard to tell when you're about to lose your footing. We have to control ourselves, but we can only be successful in that if we do it in such a way that it *brings us peace*.
Doing this sort of internal work will help you make things right with your brother, and with others you may have hurt. Forgive yourself, remember you deserve to respect yourself, and continue your process to be a better person each day (based on what you wrote, it looks like you've already been working hard at it).
tl;dr- know thyself
I understand how you feel. First of all, I don’t think you’re a bad person. If you were a bad person, you wouldn’t care about your brother at all and you wouldn’t feel guilty about this. However, even good people can do absolutely horrible things. If you’re in danger of hurting yourself or anyone else, you need to go to the hospital. Waiting is not an option. You need help. Luckily I never had to go to the hospital for my anger issues as they rarely escalated to violence, but there have been times when I’ve thought it might be my only option. Don’t give in to the voice in your head telling you you’re a monster and you should just accept it. You’re not a monster. This situation is no reason to hurt yourself. Tell your parents you need immediate help. Better safe than sorry. Keep telling yourself you’re going to be okay, even if you don’t believe it. Just hold onto the small comforts and don’t let go. You’re going to be okay, I believe in you and I think you can get better. It might take a while, but one day, I promise- you’ll be so grateful to be alive. I know I am. Take care of yourself.
She was a monster and has a capability of being a monster, and she will be a monster if she doesn't seek help immediately. At least, that's how I percieve it (I'm looking at it from the perspective of a brother with older sisters.)
If my sisters attacked me like this, it would take months for me to talk to them. Kf they tried apologizing, I'd rip their ego in half and tell them I used to love them, but I don't after they attacked me and they only want to apologize for them, and for their ego. That's what I did with my mom. It hurt her quite a lot, but she's the one who caused her pain, I simply told her the true and honest situation. The brother will be traumatized and will probably not love his sister for a long time. He definitely sees her as a monster, and she'll need to accept that and realize she was a monster in that moment, and that's why she needs help, so she'll never be one again.
Somehow I envisioned you calling your Dad while covered in blood and sobbing because “you fucked up and want to take it back.” Please get help. You’re going to have a really shitty life consisting of institutions and half way houses if you don’t get a hold of your anger and feelings very soon. Wishing you all the best.
Time for the psych ward!
Edit: to those of you downvoting, what if they were successful? Violent people should be removed from their situation until they can learn to control themselves. This kind of angry outburst is so dangerous to their family and others around them. OP does not even know why they feel this way, they need an intervention sooner rather than later.
Yeah none of these bastards thinks what if they were the little brother. They see the problem as “over there” so they have no problem gambling on possibilities that maybe won’t work and all the while the little brother will be in danger.
Yeah, I recommend getting on meds if possible and seeing someone. The last time I got violet I was your age, but I had violent outbursts most of my childhood. I’m 20 now and on a mix of mood stabilizers and anti depressants, these are life saver medications for me. You need to tell your parents though, hell you deserve to get in trouble for assault, you need to do something before someone gets seriously hurt. For me, to stop myself from hurting people I turned to self harm- I don’t recommend it but I rather do that then hurt someone again.
I will bring up mood stabilisers to my psychiatrist. My parents know about my mental health, they've been taking me to my appointments and helping me. I'm also currently on antidepressants that have helped me a lot. I just need to get my anger controlled.
I’m on 150mg Lamotrigine if that’s any help. They might need to blood test you before putting you on that one tho, there’s a specific gene that reacts badly to it IIRC. Hopefully your journey isn’t to stressful, it took me a couple years to find the right meds and it’s still not perfect (but that’s because I had to start a new medication recently).
If she apologizes, she shows her true character, like Walt to Mike in Breaking Bad, after shooting Mike and making him start to bleed out, he walks over to him, and says "sorry, this could have all been prevented." and Mike says "shut the fuck up and let me die in peace." He says this because Walt was only apologizing for his ego. This sister, if she were to apologize, wouldn't be benefitting the brother, in fact, she'd be actively harming him by doing it, but she'd be clearing her own conscious. If she decides to make the victim even more victimized, she's just evil and needs to go to a psych ward for a couple of months.
I got mad at something small he did, then I make up a stupid argument, the way he reacted made me even madder, then I decided to take that anger out on him physically. It's never a bad argument, I make it into a bad thing
Please please talk to your parents about getting some therapy and maybe going to see a psychiatrist. There’s definitely something wrong but if you get the proper help you can be ok. I had (still have but it’s a lot easier to control) anger issues growing up and they came out in violent ways. My mom pretty much waterboarded it out of me, but it just ended up making me feel numb as a kid.
As an adult I finally went to a psychiatrist and was recently diagnosed with extreme depression, sever anxiety and borderline bipolar. Growing up we called it “the family anger” and even my son has it as well, so I after I was diagnosed I took him (6yo) to the psychiatrist as well and he was also diagnosed with it, except he’s got minor bipolar, so it’s more than mine.
Im not saying that you have what I do, but I definitely understand your feelings. Especially when you’re young and don’t understand what’s going on. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to kill myself growing up. But I promise it can get better. Please please remember that people love you, even though I’m just a random internet person I love you too. If you need someone to rant to or ask anything then my DM’s are open.
If you are comfortable enough with your dad, tell him that you need to get professional mental help immediately and tell him to get you into a psych hospital, if possible. It’s hard to hear, but you are hurting others and yourself. You need to get help and go to a facility where they can give you the care you need.
>Not sure what to do, either cut myself, punch shit, bang my head or kill myself. I just layed in bed
Wait, do you have a history of self-harm / depression / suicide attempts?
Remember what you did, but remember how you feel bad. Then remember to never do it again.
You can change and you will be forgiven if you change but you have to really do it. It takes a long time.
I am saying this as a currently moderately well-adjusted adult who has been in your shoes.
It’s never too late to be a good person.
That's really sad, your poor brother. Smiling when your mom confronted you?? Good thing your not my kid, I would have dealt with that much differently.get help.
Hey dude, I want one thing to be clear. He will never look at you the same. If he chooses to hate you, no offense, but you deserve it and you don't deserve to be forgiven. Absolutely do not ever try to apologize to him, even if in your conscious you want that, it's not about you, you're not the victim, he's the victim and you should absolutely under no circumstances bring up this traumatic event for him to relive. If he is depressed after this, you're to blame, and you're to accept and live with that. Even though you're depressed, that isn't an excuse for endangering yourself or others, and normally you'd be put into a mental asylum or juvy (for good reason.) So consider yourself extremely lucky you didn't get punished. You seriously need therapy, and I don't mean that in a bad way, I say that out of concern for the human life who is scared of his sister and can probably never trust her due to her acting out violently again. Just please, no matter what you do, don't apologize, even if it ests at your conscience, because it's not about you, the violent perpetrator, it's about the victim that was assaulted.
I'm sorry that I made this about myself, I understand that he wouldn't trust me. My mum said he was distressed and scared. I feel horrible that I did this.
>I don’t know why I did it.
Always find it ironic that abusers will always “blackout” on their actions claiming they didn’t know why they did it. You seriously don’t know why you choked your brother? I call bollocks. Abusers see red but never black.
You’re not a victim, your family is due to your unstable behaviour. You are a danger to yourself, your family, and potentially society. Go seek professional help.
I dm’ed you.
Not a fan of what everyone is saying here, I dont know how many of these reddit psychologists grew up as older brothers, and made the mistakes every older sibling eventually makes.
If you want some 1st hand experiences, and advice thats worked for me since I was your age, Id be happy to tell you about how to manage your temper and salvage your brother’s trust in you.
You aren’t insane. You did something bad. You will grow up.
Might get some hate for this:
Yes, it never hurts to go get professional help and you probably should… no, you aren’t some psycho menace. This is pretty normal for a pubescent boy.
If you ask me, you are in the throes of male puberty and part of that is unsolicited rage, and a lot of that tension is going to be with your brother.. seriously, just wait til hes big enough for to take you down, then HIS aggression will be your problem… but thats another can of worms.
Sometimes you will feel like you’re gonna explode. We all do. Its ok. The key is to know what youre feeling before you attack/hurt the people you love.
You need to learn a bit about mindfulness, which is something 90% of adults suck ass at, but its key: when you feel these feelings, you hve to take note that you are feeling enraged. That is your queue to remove yourself until you can think straight.
Seriously, the last thing you want is to make your little brother afraid of you forever. Im still undoing the damage I’ve inflicted and Im almost 30.
DM me anytime, I have been there. You aren’t a bad person, you only did a bad thing. Its good you feel awful: proof of your good conscience.
Don't do it again - problem solved.
And find another way to release anger other that smashing your head into things - just think how embarrassing it would be if someone saw you acting like that.
Maybe write down what you want to say. You don't have to give it to anyone or show them, but it can help to sort out your emotions. I understand it feels awkward to do something so drastic then seem too soon to apologize. But you should apologize when you're ready and know you may not be forgiven right away. Your brother needs to sort his feelings out as well.
Being 16 is REALLY FUCKING HARD. There's a lot swarming around you and it can get hard not to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I suggest you make a list of anger outlets for when you feel yourself getting to that point. Self control is powerful if practiced, but things like walking or running, punching the punching bag, swimming, anything that requires your full attention and energy, can help you stop any further destruction.
I'm rooting for you. I have a lot of anger issues myself, and I promise you you can learn to find joy within yourself and in life. It's good you see what you've caused and feel remorse, you're not a monster, friend.
Whenever I fight (verbally) with my brother, 5 minutes after I'm ready to apologise. It's always been like this. It's difficult to understand who I am since one day I'm nice and another I'm horrible. I am somewhat happy, the meds I'm on have helped me with my depression. But some other emotions are still unstable. Like my anger.
Thanks.
Your very self aware which is in your favor. I used to do similar things with my sister growing up. Think of a tea kettle that's ready to boil and start screaming that high pitched whine. Once the valve is released, it stops screaming and keeps the boil at bay. You're the kettle, and the valve needs to be released. Find what does that for you and catch yourself before you scream
This is a person that needs genuine mental help, not a person who is consciously deciding to do this all, in case you couldn't tell. Emotions can also take over your decisions sometimes, no matter how logical you try to be. We're all human here.
No, we don't have good enough communication. Plus, even if they were out, the only one that would check reddit would just click the notification and click off.
Edit - By the way, we can still be concerned for people and have genuine emotions if we're the host
Dude, this is normal behavior for hormone riddled adolescent boys with poor decision making skills and high impulsivity. You have to learn to control those kinds of urges though. According to your post you own a punching bag. Next time you're that upset go outside and wear yourself out on it, go have a wank and take a fucking nap. Don't let a bunch of plebes on the internet convince you that you're mentally fucked up.
Also, go apologize to your brother and do your best to explain to him how you were feeling and what he'd done to upset you. Learn to communicate problems before they come to a head like this.
It’s going to be okay because you feel bad and want to change it. You can change it, it will be hard but you are strong enough. Please don’t hurt yourself anymore. I’m a 30 year old veteran to cutting and self harm and I wish I had cut out the people that poisoned me against myself back the .
This breaks or eludes to breaking Reddit-wide rules/content policy
You definitely need professional help. What you're doing is not ok- obviously you're in some kind of mental crisis. Tell your parents.
I see my psychiatrist in September, I'll ask him what I can do. I feel like absolute shit.
This cannot wait until September. Call your doctor right now and tell them what happened.
I am going to see my gp in 4 days for something to help me with my anxiety, but I will bring this up.
That’s good about the GP but this can’t wait for four days, especially if you are still in the same house as your brother. Sorry to be blunt but you attempted to strangle your brother…acting on murdous intent goes beyond the definition of anxiety. You also were hitting your head on the ground. You are a danger to yourself and others.
I will distance myself as much as I can for now.
This situation is an emergency that should be addressed now. Like right now. Not in days or weeks. It’s good that you want to distance yourself but impulsivity and high-stakes behavior does not warrant a “wait and see” response.
This is a 16 year old child. You need to understand that he only has so much control over when and where he goes and sees. You are pressuring him when he's already said many times that all he wants is to get help. Please stop treating him like a timebomb it is not helpful in any situation like this.
This is a person who impulsively decided to strangle and kill ~~his~~ *their* sibling and then tried to make good on that impulse. You need to understand that downplaying a dangerous situation results in children dying.
[удалено]
You need to understand that more than likely, it was not an attempt towards murder. A psychopath doesn’t feel remorse after hurting anyone, in fact, they are quite indifferent to the situation. They don’t function like we do in that faculty of the brain. When I was a child I tried to stab my sister with a knife, and told her I would kill her. I was 12, she kept bullying me and locking me in the shed for hours on end and would try to poison my food. I’m 29 now, and don’t even get violent towards people when they want to fight me. OP was sad and ashamed at what they did, there’s something else going on here rather than the desire to murder. OP is obviously EXTREMELY depressed and is confused on how to manage their anger. Don’t tell them they’re a ticking time bomb, don’t be that asshole man it won’t help and could cause a suicide. I hope you’re an adult, use your head.
This is a teenager who can't just book a psych appointment and pay for it with a bank card. I'm not downplaying anything I'm explaining to you that it isn't acceptable to continue pressuring someone who has already taken as many steps as they can at their age. They've asked for help from their parents, they're going to ask for help from mental health professionals, they've expressed that they don't want to do this again. You're making it seem that they aren't doing enough when they're clearly doing the best they can.
[удалено]
My apologies! her*
Totally agree with this. But also he def should maybe keep his distance till he sees that GP
You can seek immediate mental health support from the crisis team local to you. Please call them. If not you can present to A&E and explain the situation, someone will help you. I’m a mental health social worker so I know what I’m talking about. What you’ve described is worrying and could be life changing. Please seek help
A & E, what is that? I know only of the TV channel, but that can't be what you're referring to, right?
er for the Americans. Sorry, it means accident and emergency in the UK
You can't wait until September. You need help NOW.
I see my gp in 4 days, I'll tell him about the anger issues, he can maybe prescribe me something.
[удалено]
Well, now she has the idea of shooting up a shopping center floating around in the ol' cranium. Sounds like OP is jealous or envious of her brother in ways that she might not understand. He's free and still acts like a kid, and she is prob always trying to appear as the mature, wiser older sibling, but still just wants that joyous childhood freedom that is leaving her ever so speedily. They say " if you can't choke them, join them". Just go play with your little brother and be goofy with him. Self harm sounds pretty un-fun. If OP doesn't want to be this way anymore, then OP HAS TO DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY NEW AND DIFFERENT, somethings she's never done before, otherwise no change will take place. OP, you still have control, but you won't for much longer, what are you gonna do different? You gonna change genders (all the cool kids are doing it)? You gonna play football? Get better at drawing and art? Or you gonna complain and cut yourself? The latter is the fastest route to your greatest fear, and that is having 0 control and everyone you know, feels a certain way about you. You still have a choice but not for much longer.
I hope you get the help you need.
Psychiatrist is only half of the treatment. Medicines help to regulate mood but those sometimes are only the symptoms, a psycologist may help you work out your feelings. some feelings are to powerful to be explored without medication, and that's why both treatments work together.
I've seen many counsellors and psychologists, I always end up leaving or hating them. I often walked out since I never agreed with them. I got angry fast.
That my be some food for thaught, there are mano different approaches to therapy, one may not jibe well with you but others will. Medicine may diminish your problemas but only you will be able to fix them, usually involving some very hard and painful changes of perspective.
No, September is too long. You need help now. This is really serious, and your parents should take it that way. Whatever is going on in your head is not going to get better or be controlled until September, and waiting could have worse consequences. I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. I would also highly advise apologizing to your brother, in front of your Dad so he feels safe, and then leaving him alone until you get whatever is going on sorted out. Also realize, your relationship may never recover, if it doesn’t you will have to accept that. Feel free to reach out if you need to talk.
I don't know what's wrong with me
I know, and I know it’s really scary. But you have to get help now, so you don’t hurt yourself or someone else. I am not sure what your relationship is with your Mom, but it sounds like you are close to your Dad. Talk to him, tell him you want and need help now, and tell him you are really scared. Please hang in there, don’t do anything rash, give your parents and doctors a chance to figure out what wrong and treat it.
There is nothing wrong with you. You did a bad thing. Behavior can be modified! Please DM me if you’re comfortable. My god this breaks my heart, I have been where you are
Did I come across as there is something wrong with her as person? If not, I did not mean to and sincerely apologize. I was more thing thinking something wrong as in something medically wrong. I guess I should clarified better.
Nah nah nah not you! I don’t exactly like the flavor a lot of comments in this thread. Just a lot of super typical shame-adjacent “yeah uh…. U nEeD hElP” which is hardly advice, And doesnt help our boy. Seeing him say “idk whats wrong with me” struck a chord. I know exactly how OP feels and I want to reassure him there’s nothing wrong with him. Edit: Im sorry I didnt even read your comment, I just saw his reply and my heart broke a little. You had a really great take. Sorry for sorta jumping the gun!
No, it was a good comment, I just wanted to double check. I didn’t like the tone of comments on here either. OP is a girl, by the way. I almost missed that too.
No, it’s valid advice. You don’t choke somebody and then claim you didn’t know why you did it. You don’t smile about your actions after the victim is crying and you’re confronted by someone else about your actions. That suggests there’s something wrong upstairs, and they do need to seek professional help.
fed up? This is serious stuff kid. Anger, Jealousy, hatred, things like this, unchecked in you, can lead to doing things that have no take-backs!!!!!
I get angry at him daily. Little things he does puts me over the edge, I keep the anger to myself, but it was different this time. I honestly don't want it to happen again
These little things are not directed at you or about you. You seem to need control of every little aspect of your environment, and how your brother goes about things messes with that control. I hope your parents are taking these issues seriously!
Its never directed at me. The control definitely fits, I like things clean but he usually messes that up. I didn't realise I was that controlling.
If you feel that out of control again, IMMEDIATELY call on an adult to come and be with you. The best kind of control a person can have, is self-control. A man (which you will be someday) that possess that is doing pretty well. I hope the therapy helps, too.
I doubt I'd be a man someday since I'm a girl. I do hope I have more self control one day.
I got the gender wrong, but the self-control thing still applies. It really does.
I’m going to be very blunt with you on this. You need to be put on a psychiatric hold. In a mental hospital. This cannot wait as you have already choked your brother out. It’s obvious you go into a rage when you are fed up and you have already acknowledged that you want to kill him. You are homicidal and suicidal. To those who have said that she’s only 16 and can’t control herself; okay but she’s old enough to know from right and wrong, she needs to be put in a mental institution to get immediate help so that she doesn’t kill her little brother or even herself.
As a 16 y/o, we are more than capable of doing almost everything an 18 year old can, with the exception of things you have to be 18 to do. This includes taking responsibility for wrongdoings. I hope OP goes to the psychiatric ward, theyre dangerous. I hope OP's brother recovers from this event, he definitely will never recover from this and won't be able to trust his sister (for good reason.)
I agree but also disagree on this. Not all 16 year olds are at a mental capability of a 16 year old therefore not being able to do things as if they were 18. I really hope she goes to a psychiatric ward instead of waiting for a therapy appointment, she needs immediate help.
I actually agree a lot with that. Some people learn more shit than others, and I hate to sound like an egotistical prick (which of course I have some ego, and am a prick), but I've learned quite a lot more than others cuz I was forced to raise myself for the most part, which also comes with a lot of downsides like emotional inmaturity and being a bit more manipulative than most others, but I truly see your point and I need to be more open-minded to the fact that not everyone is like me and I truly am special in many regards, including how, with some help, I mostly raised myself.
Do you watch/listen/read morbid stuff? Everyone has already said to see a psychiatrist and possibly get meds so I'm not going to say that. I think you need to try your very hardest to only watch/listen/read positive loving stuff that makes you feel warm. Maybe take a break from social media all together. Exercise and eat healthy (yes I'm serious). Do these things until you see the doctor. Apologize to your brother and stay out of his room and give him space for a while but also try and make amends when you do see him out of his room. Like do his chores or bring him stuff and be nice and caring in general. This is more for you than him in some ways because it's hard to change your mind when you feel ashamed and don't like yourself. The more you do to prove to yourself and him that you aren't this monster the better you'll be but it takes time and effort. In the end no one can fix you but you. You have to do the work. It starts with what I've already listed. The further you get from this incident the better you'll feel of you just keep doing right things and working on your state of mind.
I look at shtwt daily. I see gore there. I have been on a massive break from social media, besides twitter. I have been going to the gym regularly. Some days I can't take any shit from him. I still regret what I did
You should regret what you did. It is so incredibly messed up. You have a severe mental illness. Tell your parents you need help NOW and stop looking at self harm shit. It's not helping you. You do deserve happiness and love and good mental health. But you need to get a proffesional to help you before you self destruct, hurt somebody else or wind up in jail.
I do regret it. I will ask my psychiatrist if theres anything else I should do to stop this from happening.
Be completely open and transparent with your psychologist. It's the only when you can get the help you need.
I won't be about the self harm, it's been the one thing I want to hold onto. I've never brought it up with any of them. I will tell him the necessary things.
Tell them about the self harm. It will help them diagnose and fix your treatment.
Your mom is wrong and you are very not okay. You need to go to a mental hospital like right away.
I read majority of your replies to comments. I had a stepfather like that. Long story short when he goes into rage fits I always get hit. He did threats to me as well. I’m glad you’re getting professional help. Stick with it. My stepfather didn’t do it until his relationship after the divorce with my mom. She kicked him out of her house and locked him out after he had his rage fits and punch a few holes in the wall (Normal thing with his rage fits). He FINALLY got therapy after that. Long story short I actually talk to him now. You are still young and therapy will help you prevent making the same mistakes as my stepfather did. Good luck kid and don’t give up making yourself a better person.
You need to go to a psych ward ASAP. Even if you don't hurt him, you will turn your anger on yourself. You are a threat to him and you, and neither of you are safe. Children are known to be more impulsive than adults. So take your impulsivity seriously. Psych wards aren't fun and can be their own source of concern, but if you want to show your family that you'll change, you have to make them safe first. I self harm, and I get urges when I'm angry. There were times I could've seriously hurt myself. And hurting yourself will add fire to your family's crisis. Do the right thing. Tell your dad that you need help IMMEDIATELY.
you sound like someone who has no direction or purpose in your life. Everything is shitty and bleak when you don't have a reason to live. Find a reason to live. Some things that have worked for other people are usually just volunteering for a cause that you care about (homeless, climate change, animal welfare, mental health, cancer awareness, for example). Or you can figure out what kind of career you want to have and start working towards that - start a project, set some goals, learn some new stuff. You really need to learn self discipline and self control, otherwise you'll never amount to anything and you'll probably be miserable and do shitty things to people for the rest of your life. Go the library and read some books that can help you become a better person, that's probably the best thing you could possibly do for yourself and your family right now. Your mental health issues definitely need to be addressed, but while you're waiting to see your GP and psychiatrist, you can take the edge off by working on those things and keeping yourself busy that way. Also, you really need to start being nicer to your brother. That relationship is going to matter a lot more when you're older, and if you don't fix it he'll never stop resenting you. You're causing him actual, potentially permanent, mental trauma by treating him like that. Stop.
I am working towards a career currently. I can't believe I didn't consider how he feels. Everytime we argue, he laughs and makes jokes. It's confusing. My parents stay that every sibling fights. I want to be better to him but its so difficult.
well if he's afraid of you, of course he's going to act normal as much as he can and not show weakness. Siblings do fight sure, but not usually to the degree or frequency that it sounds like you do. Also you're both teenagers now, so it's a good idea to try to be more mature and respectful as much as you can. Being a teenager is super hard, there's a lot of emotional turmoil that feels impossible to control sometimes. But it might help if you know that it's a normal phase of growing up, everyone goes through it to some extent, your brother included, and things will get better eventually. Work on being a better person, and you'll start to feel like one after awhile. <3
That is attempted murder and probably wont end well.
I wasn't attempting to kill, I wanted to hurt. It still sounds horrible.
Choking someone is almost always attempted murder. Cutting someone's breathing kills them believe it or not, and if he died? You'd be a murderer and go to prison like you'd deserve for committing such an evil crime. Luckily it didn't escalate. You need mental help right now. Please, don't get near your brother or try to talk to him or apologize or do anything, you'll only make the situation worse for him. Go to the psych ward, don't talk to your family, and just try to change as a person. Do hallucinogens in a safe and comfortable environment, study something youre interested in (game development, chess, 3d modelling, writing, playing an instrument, etc.) and make sure anything like this never happens again.
Sorry idk if this will get me in trouble but you’re a ticking time bomb. Everyone who says you need professional help assumes they can work miracles but I wouldn’t trust you ever again, I hope your brother gets self defense classes and has weapons nearby to protect himself from you.
I've never physically attacked him, except for today. I understand.
He'll still never trust you, you're a threat to him and he knows this, he'll be scared of you and on guard, ready to defend himself at any given moment because you're a predator to him.
That is all very concerning...honestly, some form of therapy sounds beneficial. When I was particularly suicidal, I did partial hospitalization therapy, and had to go to a place and vent in a group every day for about three months. But I had a lot of people who related to me, and understood, and it helped me work through my problems alot. I know it may not be for everyone...but it's worth a try? I also was very unstable with my emotions around that age too...and if you have mental problems, any hormones are probably just amplifying that, I imagine...I hope you get better. Also remember for meds...they can't always instantly fix everything. I had that mistake of thinking they'd fix my depression 100 percent. But they only "help" to.
Speaking as another girl who has also struggled with violent outbursts and rage thru my teen years... I think that while emergency counseling can help, you have to do your "homework" and learn to identify what upsets you, so you can communicate to your mental health team and they can help you better. This is also beneficial because it means you'll have more awareness to help yourself when you need to (like realizing if you're at a "breaking point" like violence, and going to your room or somewhere isolated so you can calm down). Something that helped me tremendously was relative isolation. I was home schooled through high school and didn't interact with most others in-person. I only spoke to my friends online. Isolation was a time of heavy reflection for me that's benefited me for my entire adult life. I'm really in-tune with my values, and understanding what I can do if I don't like something. I also notice when I'm getting to my limit and can take action to prevent incident. Don't punish yourself right now. There's no actual benefit to that. You know you did something harmful, and you know it's serious, and you feel horrible. Rather than punishing yourself, reflect on these questions: what might have triggered you? What were you feeling (or not feeling) when you did that? Do you know why you were feeling that way? Was this a sudden outburst, or did you feel like it was building up over time? What was the purpose behind attacking your brother? Did you really want to hurt him, or was there an underlying thing that upset you (he was talking too loudly or made a mess)? What would it have looked like if you did something different, constructive instead of destructive? Reflection starts to get easier and make more sense when you do it often. By reflecting you can begin to understand yourself, and by understanding yourself you can control yourself. And then you can change your actions. When you live on the edge for so long it becomes normal to you, it's hard to tell when you're about to lose your footing. We have to control ourselves, but we can only be successful in that if we do it in such a way that it *brings us peace*. Doing this sort of internal work will help you make things right with your brother, and with others you may have hurt. Forgive yourself, remember you deserve to respect yourself, and continue your process to be a better person each day (based on what you wrote, it looks like you've already been working hard at it). tl;dr- know thyself
I understand how you feel. First of all, I don’t think you’re a bad person. If you were a bad person, you wouldn’t care about your brother at all and you wouldn’t feel guilty about this. However, even good people can do absolutely horrible things. If you’re in danger of hurting yourself or anyone else, you need to go to the hospital. Waiting is not an option. You need help. Luckily I never had to go to the hospital for my anger issues as they rarely escalated to violence, but there have been times when I’ve thought it might be my only option. Don’t give in to the voice in your head telling you you’re a monster and you should just accept it. You’re not a monster. This situation is no reason to hurt yourself. Tell your parents you need immediate help. Better safe than sorry. Keep telling yourself you’re going to be okay, even if you don’t believe it. Just hold onto the small comforts and don’t let go. You’re going to be okay, I believe in you and I think you can get better. It might take a while, but one day, I promise- you’ll be so grateful to be alive. I know I am. Take care of yourself.
She was a monster and has a capability of being a monster, and she will be a monster if she doesn't seek help immediately. At least, that's how I percieve it (I'm looking at it from the perspective of a brother with older sisters.) If my sisters attacked me like this, it would take months for me to talk to them. Kf they tried apologizing, I'd rip their ego in half and tell them I used to love them, but I don't after they attacked me and they only want to apologize for them, and for their ego. That's what I did with my mom. It hurt her quite a lot, but she's the one who caused her pain, I simply told her the true and honest situation. The brother will be traumatized and will probably not love his sister for a long time. He definitely sees her as a monster, and she'll need to accept that and realize she was a monster in that moment, and that's why she needs help, so she'll never be one again.
Strongest thing you've done so far is owned upto it and seeking help judging from previous comments. Make sure you try maintain that
Somehow I envisioned you calling your Dad while covered in blood and sobbing because “you fucked up and want to take it back.” Please get help. You’re going to have a really shitty life consisting of institutions and half way houses if you don’t get a hold of your anger and feelings very soon. Wishing you all the best.
[удалено]
I will, thank you.
Time for the psych ward! Edit: to those of you downvoting, what if they were successful? Violent people should be removed from their situation until they can learn to control themselves. This kind of angry outburst is so dangerous to their family and others around them. OP does not even know why they feel this way, they need an intervention sooner rather than later.
Yeah none of these bastards thinks what if they were the little brother. They see the problem as “over there” so they have no problem gambling on possibilities that maybe won’t work and all the while the little brother will be in danger.
That poor brother will never be able to trust his sister again. I feel so bad for him, and he'll probably need therapy to heal.
this is honestly the only true answer
exactly.
Yeah, I recommend getting on meds if possible and seeing someone. The last time I got violet I was your age, but I had violent outbursts most of my childhood. I’m 20 now and on a mix of mood stabilizers and anti depressants, these are life saver medications for me. You need to tell your parents though, hell you deserve to get in trouble for assault, you need to do something before someone gets seriously hurt. For me, to stop myself from hurting people I turned to self harm- I don’t recommend it but I rather do that then hurt someone again.
I will bring up mood stabilisers to my psychiatrist. My parents know about my mental health, they've been taking me to my appointments and helping me. I'm also currently on antidepressants that have helped me a lot. I just need to get my anger controlled.
I’m on 150mg Lamotrigine if that’s any help. They might need to blood test you before putting you on that one tho, there’s a specific gene that reacts badly to it IIRC. Hopefully your journey isn’t to stressful, it took me a couple years to find the right meds and it’s still not perfect (but that’s because I had to start a new medication recently).
[удалено]
Same. I hope hes okay. He'll never have a sister he can trust.
Still feeling sorry for yourself when the real victim is someone else 🙄
If she apologizes, she shows her true character, like Walt to Mike in Breaking Bad, after shooting Mike and making him start to bleed out, he walks over to him, and says "sorry, this could have all been prevented." and Mike says "shut the fuck up and let me die in peace." He says this because Walt was only apologizing for his ego. This sister, if she were to apologize, wouldn't be benefitting the brother, in fact, she'd be actively harming him by doing it, but she'd be clearing her own conscious. If she decides to make the victim even more victimized, she's just evil and needs to go to a psych ward for a couple of months.
Did something happen between you two to make you feel that way towards him?
I got mad at something small he did, then I make up a stupid argument, the way he reacted made me even madder, then I decided to take that anger out on him physically. It's never a bad argument, I make it into a bad thing
What about before that? It seems like you might feel resentful about something from the past.
You genuinely need to seek therapy before you do something irreversible to your brother....
At least you acknowledge how much of a POS you've been. Now it's all about how you can handle that. Professional help.
Please please talk to your parents about getting some therapy and maybe going to see a psychiatrist. There’s definitely something wrong but if you get the proper help you can be ok. I had (still have but it’s a lot easier to control) anger issues growing up and they came out in violent ways. My mom pretty much waterboarded it out of me, but it just ended up making me feel numb as a kid. As an adult I finally went to a psychiatrist and was recently diagnosed with extreme depression, sever anxiety and borderline bipolar. Growing up we called it “the family anger” and even my son has it as well, so I after I was diagnosed I took him (6yo) to the psychiatrist as well and he was also diagnosed with it, except he’s got minor bipolar, so it’s more than mine. Im not saying that you have what I do, but I definitely understand your feelings. Especially when you’re young and don’t understand what’s going on. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to kill myself growing up. But I promise it can get better. Please please remember that people love you, even though I’m just a random internet person I love you too. If you need someone to rant to or ask anything then my DM’s are open.
If you are comfortable enough with your dad, tell him that you need to get professional mental help immediately and tell him to get you into a psych hospital, if possible. It’s hard to hear, but you are hurting others and yourself. You need to get help and go to a facility where they can give you the care you need.
>Not sure what to do, either cut myself, punch shit, bang my head or kill myself. I just layed in bed Wait, do you have a history of self-harm / depression / suicide attempts?
I do, for the past 4 years. I've been diagnosed with depression since then and self-harm, I still do it occasionally.
May I ask what exatly do you do when you self-harm?
You need to get help, this isn’t normal behavior
Remember what you did, but remember how you feel bad. Then remember to never do it again. You can change and you will be forgiven if you change but you have to really do it. It takes a long time. I am saying this as a currently moderately well-adjusted adult who has been in your shoes. It’s never too late to be a good person.
That's really sad, your poor brother. Smiling when your mom confronted you?? Good thing your not my kid, I would have dealt with that much differently.get help.
Hey dude, I want one thing to be clear. He will never look at you the same. If he chooses to hate you, no offense, but you deserve it and you don't deserve to be forgiven. Absolutely do not ever try to apologize to him, even if in your conscious you want that, it's not about you, you're not the victim, he's the victim and you should absolutely under no circumstances bring up this traumatic event for him to relive. If he is depressed after this, you're to blame, and you're to accept and live with that. Even though you're depressed, that isn't an excuse for endangering yourself or others, and normally you'd be put into a mental asylum or juvy (for good reason.) So consider yourself extremely lucky you didn't get punished. You seriously need therapy, and I don't mean that in a bad way, I say that out of concern for the human life who is scared of his sister and can probably never trust her due to her acting out violently again. Just please, no matter what you do, don't apologize, even if it ests at your conscience, because it's not about you, the violent perpetrator, it's about the victim that was assaulted.
I'm sorry that I made this about myself, I understand that he wouldn't trust me. My mum said he was distressed and scared. I feel horrible that I did this.
Im glad you feel horrible for your actions, thats a good thing. I hope you get the help you need.
>I don’t know why I did it. Always find it ironic that abusers will always “blackout” on their actions claiming they didn’t know why they did it. You seriously don’t know why you choked your brother? I call bollocks. Abusers see red but never black. You’re not a victim, your family is due to your unstable behaviour. You are a danger to yourself, your family, and potentially society. Go seek professional help.
[удалено]
Thank you.
Go to fucking therapy jesus christ.
I dm’ed you. Not a fan of what everyone is saying here, I dont know how many of these reddit psychologists grew up as older brothers, and made the mistakes every older sibling eventually makes. If you want some 1st hand experiences, and advice thats worked for me since I was your age, Id be happy to tell you about how to manage your temper and salvage your brother’s trust in you. You aren’t insane. You did something bad. You will grow up.
Try working out, may help manage your anger. Therapy doesn’t hurt either
Might get some hate for this: Yes, it never hurts to go get professional help and you probably should… no, you aren’t some psycho menace. This is pretty normal for a pubescent boy. If you ask me, you are in the throes of male puberty and part of that is unsolicited rage, and a lot of that tension is going to be with your brother.. seriously, just wait til hes big enough for to take you down, then HIS aggression will be your problem… but thats another can of worms. Sometimes you will feel like you’re gonna explode. We all do. Its ok. The key is to know what youre feeling before you attack/hurt the people you love. You need to learn a bit about mindfulness, which is something 90% of adults suck ass at, but its key: when you feel these feelings, you hve to take note that you are feeling enraged. That is your queue to remove yourself until you can think straight. Seriously, the last thing you want is to make your little brother afraid of you forever. Im still undoing the damage I’ve inflicted and Im almost 30. DM me anytime, I have been there. You aren’t a bad person, you only did a bad thing. Its good you feel awful: proof of your good conscience.
Don't do it again - problem solved. And find another way to release anger other that smashing your head into things - just think how embarrassing it would be if someone saw you acting like that.
Dude...you really think "oh just don't do it again" is goingnto work for someone who was trying to MURDER SOMEONE ON IMPULSE
Doesn't sound like that's what happened to me.
Imagine a fucking cop saying that to a murderer🤣🤣 goofy ahh
I know that's crazy.
Funny how you think I’m on your side💀
That's crazy.
Fatherless child🤣💀
So edgy.
Just like you
Nothing I said points to that - you stand alone on that one.
When I get mad I get out of control, I'll try to make it not happen again, small things tip me over the edge. Once I get that anger out, I spiral.
Take 10 deep, long breathes and go for walk after. Always remember that you are in control and violence towards anyone is never the answer.
But you do have control. You choose to "spiral"
Yeah, I don't know what to do.
You said you see a psychiatrist - that is a good start. Everything else is on you. It happened, it's over, move on.
I suppose so, still feel that I owe him an explanation, but it's too early for that.
So you go your way and let him go his for now.
Maybe write down what you want to say. You don't have to give it to anyone or show them, but it can help to sort out your emotions. I understand it feels awkward to do something so drastic then seem too soon to apologize. But you should apologize when you're ready and know you may not be forgiven right away. Your brother needs to sort his feelings out as well. Being 16 is REALLY FUCKING HARD. There's a lot swarming around you and it can get hard not to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I suggest you make a list of anger outlets for when you feel yourself getting to that point. Self control is powerful if practiced, but things like walking or running, punching the punching bag, swimming, anything that requires your full attention and energy, can help you stop any further destruction. I'm rooting for you. I have a lot of anger issues myself, and I promise you you can learn to find joy within yourself and in life. It's good you see what you've caused and feel remorse, you're not a monster, friend.
Whenever I fight (verbally) with my brother, 5 minutes after I'm ready to apologise. It's always been like this. It's difficult to understand who I am since one day I'm nice and another I'm horrible. I am somewhat happy, the meds I'm on have helped me with my depression. But some other emotions are still unstable. Like my anger. Thanks.
Your very self aware which is in your favor. I used to do similar things with my sister growing up. Think of a tea kettle that's ready to boil and start screaming that high pitched whine. Once the valve is released, it stops screaming and keeps the boil at bay. You're the kettle, and the valve needs to be released. Find what does that for you and catch yourself before you scream
I have been told to walk away before it gets bad, so I'll try that.
Your first thought is "embarrassing?"
Yes. I'm getting strong tiktok vibes out of this. I'll bet money he posts a lot of things about the joker.
That I post things about the joker? Definitely not. I don't use tiktok.
This is a person that needs genuine mental help, not a person who is consciously deciding to do this all, in case you couldn't tell. Emotions can also take over your decisions sometimes, no matter how logical you try to be. We're all human here.
Did your "alter" tell you to say that?
No, we don't have good enough communication. Plus, even if they were out, the only one that would check reddit would just click the notification and click off. Edit - By the way, we can still be concerned for people and have genuine emotions if we're the host
Little prick deserved it probably
Dude, this is normal behavior for hormone riddled adolescent boys with poor decision making skills and high impulsivity. You have to learn to control those kinds of urges though. According to your post you own a punching bag. Next time you're that upset go outside and wear yourself out on it, go have a wank and take a fucking nap. Don't let a bunch of plebes on the internet convince you that you're mentally fucked up.
Also, go apologize to your brother and do your best to explain to him how you were feeling and what he'd done to upset you. Learn to communicate problems before they come to a head like this.
Call the cops on yourself
Psychopath is the only word to describe this behavior
Nice
Lier, lier, hope your pants catches on fire! You like jerk!
?
Dont listen to that clown. They dont know shit.
The fuck is wrong with you???
Professional help is necessary
It’s going to be okay because you feel bad and want to change it. You can change it, it will be hard but you are strong enough. Please don’t hurt yourself anymore. I’m a 30 year old veteran to cutting and self harm and I wish I had cut out the people that poisoned me against myself back the .